we are all taught never to burn a bridge but what happens if you feel like it’s
but what happens if you feel like it’s
but what happens if you feel like it’s justified when you’re angry and upset
justified when you’re angry and upset
justified when you’re angry and upset for childhood memories you never had and
for childhood memories you never had and
for childhood memories you never had and you look at kids kids playing and
you look at kids kids playing and
you look at kids kids playing and laughing going out for ice cream and you
laughing going out for ice cream and you
laughing going out for ice cream and you think I never had that and what are you
think I never had that and what are you
think I never had that and what are you supposed to do when you feel like
supposed to do when you feel like
supposed to do when you feel like lashing out for being used as a pawn in
lashing out for being used as a pawn in
lashing out for being used as a pawn in some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a
some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a
some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a child no less it was 1971 I was five
child no less it was 1971 I was five
child no less it was 1971 I was five years old and heard my mother screaming
years old and heard my mother screaming
years old and heard my mother screaming downstairs in the living room I ran to
downstairs in the living room I ran to
downstairs in the living room I ran to find my father’s hands clenched tightly
find my father’s hands clenched tightly
find my father’s hands clenched tightly around her neck she could barely breathe
around her neck she could barely breathe
around her neck she could barely breathe let alone talk yet somehow she managed
let alone talk yet somehow she managed
let alone talk yet somehow she managed to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m
to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m
to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m okay
okay
okay my father was drunk he was totally
my father was drunk he was totally
my father was drunk he was totally shit-faced and finding him nearly
shit-faced and finding him nearly
shit-faced and finding him nearly choking my mother to death scared all of
choking my mother to death scared all of
choking my mother to death scared all of the childhood right out of me that night
the childhood right out of me that night
the childhood right out of me that night my life was supposed to be okay our
my life was supposed to be okay our
my life was supposed to be okay our family lived in a tiny house in suburbia
family lived in a tiny house in suburbia
family lived in a tiny house in suburbia on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey
on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey
on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey my father’s name was Anthony Tony
my father’s name was Anthony Tony
my father’s name was Anthony Tony they called him the gangers he worked as
they called him the gangers he worked as
they called him the gangers he worked as a maitre d in New York City and with his
a maitre d in New York City and with his
a maitre d in New York City and with his dashing good looks and Gina take alone
dashing good looks and Gina take alone
dashing good looks and Gina take alone he was a real showstopper he idolized
he was a real showstopper he idolized
he was a real showstopper he idolized Sinatra and now that I look back he
Sinatra and now that I look back he
Sinatra and now that I look back he could have been part of the Rat Pack too
could have been part of the Rat Pack too
could have been part of the Rat Pack too and he would brag about smuggling me
and he would brag about smuggling me
and he would brag about smuggling me into a bar as an infant too
into a bar as an infant too
into a bar as an infant too mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a
mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a
mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a movie but this is my story Tony loved
movie but this is my story Tony loved
movie but this is my story Tony loved the nightlife and he certainly loved his
the nightlife and he certainly loved his
the nightlife and he certainly loved his friends he would do anything anything in
friends he would do anything anything in
friends he would do anything anything in the world for them even if that meant
the world for them even if that meant
the world for them even if that meant being late to the hospital while my
being late to the hospital while my
being late to the hospital while my mother was in labor with me after the
mother was in labor with me after the
mother was in labor with me after the divorce my father continued to be late
divorce my father continued to be late
divorce my father continued to be late for everything
for everything
for everything he missed the rent the groceries the
he missed the rent the groceries the
he missed the rent the groceries the heat the alimony and the child support
heat the alimony and the child support
heat the alimony and the child support and when he remembered to pick us up for
and when he remembered to pick us up for
and when he remembered to pick us up for visitation my brother and I were
visitation my brother and I were
visitation my brother and I were chauffeured into the back of a borrowed
chauffeured into the back of a borrowed
chauffeured into the back of a borrowed car usually a Jaguar and instead of
car usually a Jaguar and instead of
car usually a Jaguar and instead of going out for ice cream
going out for ice cream
going out for ice cream we would drive across the George
we would drive across the George
we would drive across the George Washington Bridge and make our way to
Washington Bridge and make our way to
Washington Bridge and make our way to night clubs and gambling dens usually
night clubs and gambling dens usually
night clubs and gambling dens usually hidden behind some secret door as a
hidden behind some secret door as a
hidden behind some secret door as a little girl I learned to master the fine
little girl I learned to master the fine
little girl I learned to master the fine art of kissing pinkie rings and the
art of kissing pinkie rings and the
art of kissing pinkie rings and the faces of dangerous dirty old men I will
faces of dangerous dirty old men I will
faces of dangerous dirty old men I will never forget being pulled and dragged
never forget being pulled and dragged
never forget being pulled and dragged across the streets of New York City
across the streets of New York City
across the streets of New York City playing a game of hide-and-go-seek
playing a game of hide-and-go-seek
playing a game of hide-and-go-seek with the lone shark my father owed money
with the lone shark my father owed money
with the lone shark my father owed money to this isn’t supposed to be how little
to this isn’t supposed to be how little
to this isn’t supposed to be how little girls grow up at the age of 69 my father
girls grow up at the age of 69 my father
girls grow up at the age of 69 my father had no choice but to stop running from
had no choice but to stop running from
had no choice but to stop running from the demons that hunted him down
the demons that hunted him down
the demons that hunted him down Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay
Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay
Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay in ICU in a self induced coma unable to
in ICU in a self induced coma unable to
in ICU in a self induced coma unable to walk talk or place a bet my brother and
walk talk or place a bet my brother and
walk talk or place a bet my brother and I rushed to be at his bedside and were
I rushed to be at his bedside and were
I rushed to be at his bedside and were shocked to discover that all bets were
shocked to discover that all bets were
shocked to discover that all bets were still on our father was married yet a
still on our father was married yet a
still on our father was married yet a fourth time to a woman we never met not
fourth time to a woman we never met not
fourth time to a woman we never met not for love but for coal
for love but for coal
for love but for coal hard cash and a green card we all have a
hard cash and a green card we all have a
hard cash and a green card we all have a choice to burn or build the bridge no
choice to burn or build the bridge no
choice to burn or build the bridge no matter what our circumstances or roads
matter what our circumstances or roads
matter what our circumstances or roads we’ve traveled in the past even in the
we’ve traveled in the past even in the
we’ve traveled in the past even in the backseat of a Jaguar there are more
backseat of a Jaguar there are more
backseat of a Jaguar there are more times than not that I wanted to
times than not that I wanted to
times than not that I wanted to retaliate and make war against my father
retaliate and make war against my father
retaliate and make war against my father but I decided to play my hand
but I decided to play my hand
but I decided to play my hand differently after my father’s death I
differently after my father’s death I
differently after my father’s death I went on to earn a master’s degree and a
went on to earn a master’s degree and a
went on to earn a master’s degree and a securities license
securities license
securities license I started badass budgeting and learning
I started badass budgeting and learning
I started badass budgeting and learning everything I could about money and
everything I could about money and
everything I could about money and investing and planning for the future I
investing and planning for the future I
investing and planning for the future I started my own company working in the
started my own company working in the
started my own company working in the financial services industry I guess you
financial services industry I guess you
financial services industry I guess you could say dad taught me a little
could say dad taught me a little
could say dad taught me a little something about money in the end so I
something about money in the end so I
something about money in the end so I ask this of you because you too have
ask this of you because you too have
ask this of you because you too have been burned you may not have driven
been burned you may not have driven
been burned you may not have driven around the streets of New York like a
around the streets of New York like a
around the streets of New York like a Bronx Tale but you have your share of
Bronx Tale but you have your share of
Bronx Tale but you have your share of Tony’s in your life will you join me in
Tony’s in your life will you join me in
Tony’s in your life will you join me in building new bridges rather than burning
building new bridges rather than burning
building new bridges rather than burning them because letting it all go is the
them because letting it all go is the
them because letting it all go is the best route to drive
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