What starting a company taught me about my family | Davis Smith | TEDxPenn

so it was eight years ago that I

so it was eight years ago that I actually sat in this auditorium for the

actually sat in this auditorium for the

actually sat in this auditorium for the first time and I was actually a newly

first time and I was actually a newly

first time and I was actually a newly admitted MBA student here at the Wharton

admitted MBA student here at the Wharton

admitted MBA student here at the Wharton School and to be honest I was completely

School and to be honest I was completely

School and to be honest I was completely intimidated I felt like everyone in the

intimidated I felt like everyone in the

intimidated I felt like everyone in the room was smarter than me I wondered how

room was smarter than me I wondered how

room was smarter than me I wondered how I got in and largely I didn’t change

I got in and largely I didn’t change

I got in and largely I didn’t change over the two years I was in grad school

over the two years I was in grad school

over the two years I was in grad school so it’s only appropriate I guess that

so it’s only appropriate I guess that

so it’s only appropriate I guess that I’m back here again completely

I’m back here again completely

I’m back here again completely intimidated so you know but I’m excited

intimidated so you know but I’m excited

intimidated so you know but I’m excited to be here because I want to share

to be here because I want to share

to be here because I want to share something that has transformed my life

something that has transformed my life

something that has transformed my life as an entrepreneur and here studying at

as an entrepreneur and here studying at

as an entrepreneur and here studying at Penn I learned the principles of

Penn I learned the principles of

Penn I learned the principles of business and what I’ve recently

business and what I’ve recently

business and what I’ve recently discovered is that those same principles

discovered is that those same principles

discovered is that those same principles are applicable to my personal life as

are applicable to my personal life as

are applicable to my personal life as well and what I want to share is how I

well and what I want to share is how I

well and what I want to share is how I use some of these principles to

use some of these principles to

use some of these principles to transform my life in the life of my

transform my life in the life of my

transform my life in the life of my family so I’m going to start by sharing

family so I’m going to start by sharing

family so I’m going to start by sharing a quick story about a year and a half

a quick story about a year and a half

a quick story about a year and a half ago my cousin and I along with a couple

ago my cousin and I along with a couple

ago my cousin and I along with a couple entrepreneur friends decided that we

entrepreneur friends decided that we

entrepreneur friends decided that we wanted to kayak from Cuba to Florida and

wanted to kayak from Cuba to Florida and

wanted to kayak from Cuba to Florida and this was a 35-hour paddle over 124 miles

this was a 35-hour paddle over 124 miles

this was a 35-hour paddle over 124 miles and so we began training oftentimes

and so we began training oftentimes

and so we began training oftentimes waking up at 3 a.m.

waking up at 3 a.m.

waking up at 3 a.m. paddling till sunset sometimes paddling

paddling till sunset sometimes paddling

paddling till sunset sometimes paddling through the night into the next day so

through the night into the next day so

through the night into the next day so that we could understand truly what it

that we could understand truly what it

that we could understand truly what it felt like the paddle without sleep and

felt like the paddle without sleep and

felt like the paddle without sleep and with very little food so when we left

with very little food so when we left

with very little food so when we left Havana we felt prepared this turquoise

Havana we felt prepared this turquoise

Havana we felt prepared this turquoise blue water the Caribbean Sea was

blue water the Caribbean Sea was

blue water the Caribbean Sea was welcoming us welcoming us into this

welcoming us welcoming us into this

welcoming us welcoming us into this Florida Strait and that’s where we made

Florida Strait and that’s where we made

Florida Strait and that’s where we made our first critical error my my cousin

our first critical error my my cousin

our first critical error my my cousin and I made a last-minute decision that

and I made a last-minute decision that

and I made a last-minute decision that we didn’t want anything to do with our

we didn’t want anything to do with our

we didn’t want anything to do with our support boat that we could do this

support boat that we could do this

support boat that we could do this unassisted and while the support boat

unassisted and while the support boat

unassisted and while the support boat would be kind of escorting us along with

would be kind of escorting us along with

would be kind of escorting us along with the other kayaks we weren’t even going

the other kayaks we weren’t even going

the other kayaks we weren’t even going to touch the boat and so we made a

to touch the boat and so we made a

to touch the boat and so we made a commitment to each other we wouldn’t

commitment to each other we wouldn’t

commitment to each other we wouldn’t even touch the boat well that night as

even touch the boat well that night as

even touch the boat well that night as after the sunset everything changed well

after the sunset everything changed well

after the sunset everything changed well we were about a third of the way through

we were about a third of the way through

we were about a third of the way through the journey and a huge storm rolled in

the journey and a huge storm rolled in

the journey and a huge storm rolled in we could see lightning striking all

we could see lightning striking all

we could see lightning striking all around us and we ended up getting asked

around us and we ended up getting asked

around us and we ended up getting asked by the captain the boat everyone to get

by the captain the boat everyone to get

by the captain the boat everyone to get as close as possible to the boat so that

as close as possible to the boat so that

as close as possible to the boat so that we wouldn’t be lost at sea and during

we wouldn’t be lost at sea and during

we wouldn’t be lost at sea and during the chaos of the storm I cry I ended up

the chaos of the storm I cry I ended up

the chaos of the storm I cry I ended up getting squeezed in between one of the

getting squeezed in between one of the

getting squeezed in between one of the other kayaks and the support boat a huge

other kayaks and the support boat a huge

other kayaks and the support boat a huge wave came and slammed our kayak up

wave came and slammed our kayak up

wave came and slammed our kayak up against the side of the support boat and

against the side of the support boat and

against the side of the support boat and that’s when I heard this crunching sound

that’s when I heard this crunching sound

that’s when I heard this crunching sound of fiberglass followed by this terrified

of fiberglass followed by this terrified

of fiberglass followed by this terrified scream and I I can still remember those

scream and I I can still remember those

scream and I I can still remember those sounds instinctively we wanted to take

sounds instinctively we wanted to take

sounds instinctively we wanted to take our hands and we wanted to like

our hands and we wanted to like

our hands and we wanted to like violently push away from the boat to get

violently push away from the boat to get

violently push away from the boat to get some distance but instead we did nothing

some distance but instead we did nothing

some distance but instead we did nothing because we’ve committed to each other

because we’ve committed to each other

because we’ve committed to each other that we wouldn’t touch the support boat

that we wouldn’t touch the support boat

that we wouldn’t touch the support boat so the second wave came and this time as

so the second wave came and this time as

so the second wave came and this time as it slammed us up against the support

it slammed us up against the support

it slammed us up against the support boat the support was also also was

boat the support was also also was

boat the support was also also was coming down from another large wave as

coming down from another large wave as

coming down from another large wave as if had been dropped from this crane and

if had been dropped from this crane and

if had been dropped from this crane and it landed on top of us and we spent the

it landed on top of us and we spent the

it landed on top of us and we spent the next two hours treading water trying to

next two hours treading water trying to

next two hours treading water trying to salvage our damage to kayak in the end

salvage our damage to kayak in the end

salvage our damage to kayak in the end the kayak broke in half and sank to the

the kayak broke in half and sank to the

the kayak broke in half and sank to the bottom of the ocean and so we were

bottom of the ocean and so we were

bottom of the ocean and so we were fortunate that we ended up having an

fortunate that we ended up having an

fortunate that we ended up having an additional kayak on our support boat and

additional kayak on our support boat and

additional kayak on our support boat and so we were able to go off and complete

so we were able to go off and complete

so we were able to go off and complete the rest of the paddle eventually but

the rest of the paddle eventually but

the rest of the paddle eventually but what we did is we compromise compromise

what we did is we compromise compromise

what we did is we compromise compromise our safety and the primary objective

our safety and the primary objective

our safety and the primary objective because we were completely distracted by

because we were completely distracted by

because we were completely distracted by a goal that was really unimportant and

a goal that was really unimportant and

a goal that was really unimportant and the reason that I share this story is

the reason that I share this story is

the reason that I share this story is because this is what happens in life

because this is what happens in life

because this is what happens in life oftentimes we’re distracted by things

oftentimes we’re distracted by things

oftentimes we’re distracted by things that are unimportant and we forget the

that are unimportant and we forget the

that are unimportant and we forget the primary objective so as an entrepreneur

primary objective so as an entrepreneur

primary objective so as an entrepreneur I’ve learned this lesson and I’ve it’s

I’ve learned this lesson and I’ve it’s

I’ve learned this lesson and I’ve it’s it’s true what they say about

it’s true what they say about

it’s true what they say about entrepreneurship it’s full of the

entrepreneurship it’s full of the

entrepreneurship it’s full of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows

highest of highs and the lowest of lows

highest of highs and the lowest of lows and I’ve certainly had my share of both

and I’ve certainly had my share of both

and I’ve certainly had my share of both some of the highs include having Brazil

some of the highs include having Brazil

some of the highs include having Brazil startup of the year most more frequent

startup of the year most more frequent

startup of the year most more frequent more recently I actually was the CEO of

more recently I actually was the CEO of

more recently I actually was the CEO of the

the

the by the nominated CE of the Year by the

by the nominated CE of the Year by the

by the nominated CE of the Year by the Silicon Valley Community Foundation but

Silicon Valley Community Foundation but

Silicon Valley Community Foundation but I’ve also had plenty of very low lows

I’ve also had plenty of very low lows

I’ve also had plenty of very low lows including the loss of a lifelong friend

including the loss of a lifelong friend

including the loss of a lifelong friend who was my business my business partner

who was my business my business partner

who was my business my business partner for 10 years due to a failed business

for 10 years due to a failed business

for 10 years due to a failed business partnership that was four years ago and

partnership that was four years ago and

partnership that was four years ago and still now it pains me every time I think

still now it pains me every time I think

still now it pains me every time I think of it

of it

of it but I think maybe the most valuable

but I think maybe the most valuable

but I think maybe the most valuable lesson I’ve learned as an entrepreneur

lesson I’ve learned as an entrepreneur

lesson I’ve learned as an entrepreneur is the critical importance of company

is the critical importance of company

is the critical importance of company court culture organizational culture

court culture organizational culture

court culture organizational culture I’ve learned that you can either create

I’ve learned that you can either create

I’ve learned that you can either create culture by design or by default meaning

culture by design or by default meaning

culture by design or by default meaning that you can either do it intentionally

that you can either do it intentionally

that you can either do it intentionally or you can just let it kind of happen

or you can just let it kind of happen

or you can just let it kind of happen organically over time so my first two

organically over time so my first two

organically over time so my first two businesses they were largely created the

businesses they were largely created the

businesses they were largely created the culture was largely created by a default

culture was largely created by a default

culture was largely created by a default we didn’t really know what we were doing

we didn’t really know what we were doing

we didn’t really know what we were doing at first just starting a business but

at first just starting a business but

at first just starting a business but this last business I did completely by

this last business I did completely by

this last business I did completely by design we built a culture that was about

design we built a culture that was about

design we built a culture that was about giving and serving and we ended up

giving and serving and we ended up

giving and serving and we ended up creating a really special company where

creating a really special company where

creating a really special company where we employ refugees we give our we use

we employ refugees we give our we use

we employ refugees we give our we use our profits to support poverty

our profits to support poverty

our profits to support poverty alleviation and we use our supply chain

alleviation and we use our supply chain

alleviation and we use our supply chain to impact lives throughout the world and

to impact lives throughout the world and

to impact lives throughout the world and it’s truly become something that’s been

it’s truly become something that’s been

it’s truly become something that’s been very special for me and just a truly

very special for me and just a truly

very special for me and just a truly remarkable experience as an entrepreneur

remarkable experience as an entrepreneur

remarkable experience as an entrepreneur but about two years ago I was driving

but about two years ago I was driving

but about two years ago I was driving home and I realized that I wasn’t

home and I realized that I wasn’t

home and I realized that I wasn’t following my own advice the advice I was

following my own advice the advice I was

following my own advice the advice I was giving to many other entrepreneurs about

giving to many other entrepreneurs about

giving to many other entrepreneurs about creating deliberate cultures in their

creating deliberate cultures in their

creating deliberate cultures in their organizations when it came to the

organizations when it came to the

organizations when it came to the culture of the organization that

culture of the organization that

culture of the organization that mattered most to me I had left it to be

mattered most to me I had left it to be

mattered most to me I had left it to be completed really by by default and that

completed really by by default and that

completed really by by default and that was the organization of my own family

was the organization of my own family

was the organization of my own family and we had some strong traditions and

and we had some strong traditions and

and we had some strong traditions and some values that we followed but it

some values that we followed but it

some values that we followed but it wasn’t done intentionally or by design

wasn’t done intentionally or by design

wasn’t done intentionally or by design so my wife and I we got together and we

so my wife and I we got together and we

so my wife and I we got together and we started brainstorming what our core

started brainstorming what our core

started brainstorming what our core values would be we actually got our two

values would be we actually got our two

values would be we actually got our two daughters two in the room and we asked

daughters two in the room and we asked

daughters two in the room and we asked them what our core value should be and

them what our core value should be and

them what our core value should be and we ended up deciding on five core values

we ended up deciding on five core values

we ended up deciding on five core values and the reason that I felt it was

and the reason that I felt it was

and the reason that I felt it was important to start with core values is

important to start with core values is

important to start with core values is because I believe in this quote by Rohan

because I believe in this quote by Rohan

because I believe in this quote by Rohan dredge that says core values determine

dredge that says core values determine

dredge that says core values determine culture culture

culture culture

culture culture determines behavior and behavior

determines behavior and behavior

determines behavior and behavior determines outcomes and so I believe

determines outcomes and so I believe

determines outcomes and so I believe that if we define our core values we

that if we define our core values we

that if we define our core values we could shape our culture and our

could shape our culture and our

could shape our culture and our behaviors and ultimately the outcome of

behaviors and ultimately the outcome of

behaviors and ultimately the outcome of our family so we came up with these five

our family so we came up with these five

our family so we came up with these five values and we actually assigned each of

values and we actually assigned each of

values and we actually assigned each of those core values to a letter in our

those core values to a letter in our

those core values to a letter in our last name my last name Smith s MIT H and

last name my last name Smith s MIT H and

last name my last name Smith s MIT H and so we have these core values and

so we have these core values and

so we have these core values and attaching them to our last name made it

attaching them to our last name made it

attaching them to our last name made it easier for my daughters to remember and

easier for my daughters to remember and

easier for my daughters to remember and frankly easier for us to remember and we

frankly easier for us to remember and we

frankly easier for us to remember and we actually put those values up on our wall

actually put those values up on our wall

actually put those values up on our wall and I want to tell you a little bit

and I want to tell you a little bit

and I want to tell you a little bit about these values because I want to

about these values because I want to

about these values because I want to tell you about the impact that it’s had

tell you about the impact that it’s had

tell you about the impact that it’s had on our family’s culture and so one of

on our family’s culture and so one of

on our family’s culture and so one of our core values is intellect or

our core values is intellect or

our core values is intellect or education it’s about constantly being

education it’s about constantly being

education it’s about constantly being intellectually curious and what I found

intellectually curious and what I found

intellectually curious and what I found is that by default we ended up on the

is that by default we ended up on the

is that by default we ended up on the couch watching Netflix probably like

couch watching Netflix probably like

couch watching Netflix probably like many of you but I wanted to change that

many of you but I wanted to change that

many of you but I wanted to change that so I wanted our family to be focused

so I wanted our family to be focused

so I wanted our family to be focused more on how we could learn and so we

more on how we could learn and so we

more on how we could learn and so we ended up putting a goal together where

ended up putting a goal together where

ended up putting a goal together where every Sunday afternoon we’d spend an

every Sunday afternoon we’d spend an

every Sunday afternoon we’d spend an hour together we gather all of our

hour together we gather all of our

hour together we gather all of our pillows and our blankets and we cuddle

pillows and our blankets and we cuddle

pillows and our blankets and we cuddle up together and we all read for an hour

up together and we all read for an hour

up together and we all read for an hour quietly and at the end of this hour we

quietly and at the end of this hour we

quietly and at the end of this hour we share with each other what we learned

share with each other what we learned

share with each other what we learned and what I found is that this has

and what I found is that this has

and what I found is that this has totally changed the behavior in our

totally changed the behavior in our

totally changed the behavior in our household instead of ending up on the

household instead of ending up on the

household instead of ending up on the couch watching Netflix our family is

couch watching Netflix our family is

couch watching Netflix our family is constantly reading looking for

constantly reading looking for

constantly reading looking for opportunities to learn one of our other

opportunities to learn one of our other

opportunities to learn one of our other core values is travel so my family moved

core values is travel so my family moved

core values is travel so my family moved to the developed the developing world

to the developed the developing world

to the developed the developing world when I was four and my father is

when I was four and my father is

when I was four and my father is actually it was an adventure and so we

actually it was an adventure and so we

actually it was an adventure and so we spent time building our own raft and

spent time building our own raft and

spent time building our own raft and floating down the Amazon River fishing

floating down the Amazon River fishing

floating down the Amazon River fishing for piranhas or going and surviving on

for piranhas or going and surviving on

for piranhas or going and surviving on uninhabited islands with Spears that

uninhabited islands with Spears that

uninhabited islands with Spears that we’ve made ourselves spearing fish so I

we’ve made ourselves spearing fish so I

we’ve made ourselves spearing fish so I grew up loving adventure I loving

grew up loving adventure I loving

grew up loving adventure I loving experiences and valuing those over

experiences and valuing those over

experiences and valuing those over things

things

things my wife is half Filipino she was born in

my wife is half Filipino she was born in

my wife is half Filipino she was born in the United States but had also this

the United States but had also this

the United States but had also this really deep cultural experience growing

really deep cultural experience growing

really deep cultural experience growing up so this is something that we valued

up so this is something that we valued

up so this is something that we valued and we’ve ended up living in a number of

and we’ve ended up living in a number of

and we’ve ended up living in a number of different countries including with time

different countries including with time

different countries including with time with our children and so this is

with our children and so this is

with our children and so this is something that we decided was important

something that we decided was important

something that we decided was important to us and so now I have a great excuse

to us and so now I have a great excuse

to us and so now I have a great excuse every time one of my my daughter’s says

every time one of my my daughter’s says

every time one of my my daughter’s says that they need the newest version of the

that they need the newest version of the

that they need the newest version of the iPhone

iPhone

iPhone I just tell them that’s not one of our

I just tell them that’s not one of our

I just tell them that’s not one of our core values so instead we use that money

core values so instead we use that money

core values so instead we use that money to go have experiences together one of

to go have experiences together one of

to go have experiences together one of our other core values is hard work and

our other core values is hard work and

our other core values is hard work and so this has been this has been amazing

so this has been this has been amazing

so this has been this has been amazing we actually sat down with our kids and

we actually sat down with our kids and

we actually sat down with our kids and we talked about the chores that had to

we talked about the chores that had to

we talked about the chores that had to be done around the home and of course

be done around the home and of course

be done around the home and of course we’ve been doing this their entire lives

we’ve been doing this their entire lives

we’ve been doing this their entire lives but always failed miserably but when we

but always failed miserably but when we

but always failed miserably but when we did this after determining what our core

did this after determining what our core

did this after determining what our core values were we saw a small miracle our

values were we saw a small miracle our

values were we saw a small miracle our children no longer complained having to

children no longer complained having to

children no longer complained having to do these chores it was an expectation

do these chores it was an expectation

do these chores it was an expectation that was set even my oldest daughter

that was set even my oldest daughter

that was set even my oldest daughter she’s 13 she started asking about how

she’s 13 she started asking about how

she’s 13 she started asking about how could she go get a real job and so she

could she go get a real job and so she

could she go get a real job and so she now works at cotopaxi my company she

now works at cotopaxi my company she

now works at cotopaxi my company she works there twice a week after school

works there twice a week after school

works there twice a week after school she’s our janitor and she’s really good

she’s our janitor and she’s really good

she’s our janitor and she’s really good at it and we actually have I’ve seen

at it and we actually have I’ve seen

at it and we actually have I’ve seen that she’s developed these great values

that she’s developed these great values

that she’s developed these great values of hard work and of responsibility and

of hard work and of responsibility and

of hard work and of responsibility and learning to save her money she values

learning to save her money she values

learning to save her money she values money more now and so this is something

money more now and so this is something

money more now and so this is something that has been really fun to see this

that has been really fun to see this

that has been really fun to see this transformation in our family’s behavior

transformation in our family’s behavior

transformation in our family’s behavior last the last core value that I want to

last the last core value that I want to

last the last core value that I want to talk about is of one of the the core

talk about is of one of the the core

talk about is of one of the the core values that probably matters most to me

values that probably matters most to me

values that probably matters most to me which is the core value of selflessness

which is the core value of selflessness

which is the core value of selflessness and service and so we we’d identified as

and service and so we we’d identified as

and service and so we we’d identified as a family that we were really passionate

a family that we were really passionate

a family that we were really passionate about the refugee crisis that was

about the refugee crisis that was

about the refugee crisis that was happening across the world and we

happening across the world and we

happening across the world and we started looking for ways that we could

started looking for ways that we could

started looking for ways that we could get involved and so we started getting

get involved and so we started getting

get involved and so we started getting to know refugees in her local community

to know refugees in her local community

to know refugees in her local community inviting them into our home spending

inviting them into our home spending

inviting them into our home spending time with them and what we’ve learned is

time with them and what we’ve learned is

time with them and what we’ve learned is that we actually get more from the time

that we actually get more from the time

that we actually get more from the time we spend with them than they would ever

we spend with them than they would ever

we spend with them than they would ever get from us my wife and I actually our

get from us my wife and I actually our

get from us my wife and I actually our most memorable wedding anniversary was

most memorable wedding anniversary was

most memorable wedding anniversary was spent serving refugees until late late

spent serving refugees until late late

spent serving refugees until late late in the night and in the last few months

in the night and in the last few months

in the night and in the last few months I had an amazing experience where I

I had an amazing experience where I

I had an amazing experience where I actually went to Jordan at the refugee

actually went to Jordan at the refugee

actually went to Jordan at the refugee camp called zotti on the Syrian border

camp called zotti on the Syrian border

camp called zotti on the Syrian border this is the fourth largest city in

this is the fourth largest city in

this is the fourth largest city in Jordan it’s 83 thousand refugees living

Jordan it’s 83 thousand refugees living

Jordan it’s 83 thousand refugees living in this camp these are people that have

in this camp these are people that have

in this camp these are people that have arrived with absolutely nothing they’ve

arrived with absolutely nothing they’ve

arrived with absolutely nothing they’ve lost everything and when I was there I

lost everything and when I was there I

lost everything and when I was there I was there with the United Nations

was there with the United Nations

was there with the United Nations foundations global entrepreneurs council

foundations global entrepreneurs council

foundations global entrepreneurs council a group of eight entrepreneur

a group of eight entrepreneur

a group of eight entrepreneur and we spend the entire day working and

and we spend the entire day working and

and we spend the entire day working and learning from these entrepreneurs in

learning from these entrepreneurs in

learning from these entrepreneurs in this in this refugee camp there were

this in this refugee camp there were

this in this refugee camp there were 1,500 small businesses that were built

1,500 small businesses that were built

1,500 small businesses that were built in this refugee camp and it was just

in this refugee camp and it was just

in this refugee camp and it was just heartbreaking to be there but also so

heartbreaking to be there but also so

heartbreaking to be there but also so inspiring to see these entrepreneurs

inspiring to see these entrepreneurs

inspiring to see these entrepreneurs woman sewing dresses men making

woman sewing dresses men making

woman sewing dresses men making furniture out of scrap pieces of wood

furniture out of scrap pieces of wood

furniture out of scrap pieces of wood but I think my favorite moment was

but I think my favorite moment was

but I think my favorite moment was actually spending time with the children

actually spending time with the children

actually spending time with the children I remember towards the end of our time

I remember towards the end of our time

I remember towards the end of our time there we were standing there and

there we were standing there and

there we were standing there and instinctively a little boy grabbed my

instinctively a little boy grabbed my

instinctively a little boy grabbed my hands and started walking up my legs and

hands and started walking up my legs and

hands and started walking up my legs and up my body and then did a little flip

up my body and then did a little flip

up my body and then did a little flip and this is something that I do with my

and this is something that I do with my

and this is something that I do with my daughters I’m sure many of you have done

daughters I’m sure many of you have done

daughters I’m sure many of you have done it with your own children or maybe with

it with your own children or maybe with

it with your own children or maybe with your parents when you were younger and

your parents when you were younger and

your parents when you were younger and pretty soon all these little kids

pretty soon all these little kids

pretty soon all these little kids started lining up to do the same and it

started lining up to do the same and it

started lining up to do the same and it was great they actually would

was great they actually would

was great they actually would respectfully take off their shoes every

respectfully take off their shoes every

respectfully take off their shoes every time but before long I had these dusty

time but before long I had these dusty

time but before long I had these dusty footprints all the way up my body and

footprints all the way up my body and

footprints all the way up my body and for a moment it seems that we forgot we

for a moment it seems that we forgot we

for a moment it seems that we forgot we were in a refugee camp but that night I

were in a refugee camp but that night I

were in a refugee camp but that night I could hardly stop thinking about these

could hardly stop thinking about these

could hardly stop thinking about these little kids that I’d met that had been

little kids that I’d met that had been

little kids that I’d met that had been sentenced their entire childhood to live

sentenced their entire childhood to live

sentenced their entire childhood to live in a refugee camp and they weren’t too

in a refugee camp and they weren’t too

in a refugee camp and they weren’t too dissimilar from my own daughters my own

dissimilar from my own daughters my own

dissimilar from my own daughters my own children that night as I was in my hotel

children that night as I was in my hotel

children that night as I was in my hotel room I turn on the TV and I saw an image

room I turn on the TV and I saw an image

room I turn on the TV and I saw an image that many saw across the world an image

that many saw across the world an image

that many saw across the world an image of a little boy named Imran who was

of a little boy named Imran who was

of a little boy named Imran who was bombed in Aleppo his brother killed in

bombed in Aleppo his brother killed in

bombed in Aleppo his brother killed in the bombing and he was as he was placed

the bombing and he was as he was placed

the bombing and he was as he was placed in the back of this ambulance by himself

in the back of this ambulance by himself

in the back of this ambulance by himself he reached up and touched his face and

he reached up and touched his face and

he reached up and touched his face and was surprised to see blood which he then

was surprised to see blood which he then

was surprised to see blood which he then wiped on the chair of this ambulance

and I really truly felt the urgency of

and I really truly felt the urgency of the work that we have to do we have a

the work that we have to do we have a

the work that we have to do we have a responsibility to make this world a

responsibility to make this world a

responsibility to make this world a better place and I’m glad that I’ve been

better place and I’m glad that I’ve been

better place and I’m glad that I’ve been able to help my children feel this

able to help my children feel this

able to help my children feel this passion that I have and help instill a

passion that I have and help instill a

passion that I have and help instill a little bit of it in them so my question

little bit of it in them so my question

little bit of it in them so my question for you is as you look at the

for you is as you look at the

for you is as you look at the relationships that matter most to you

relationships that matter most to you

relationships that matter most to you have you built that culture by design or

have you built that culture by design or

have you built that culture by design or by default and if it was done by default

by default and if it was done by default

by default and if it was done by default which it most likely was I challenge you

which it most likely was I challenge you

which it most likely was I challenge you to actually do it by design it’s never

to actually do it by design it’s never

to actually do it by design it’s never too late sit down with a person or

too late sit down with a person or

too late sit down with a person or people that you love and identify the

people that you love and identify the

people that you love and identify the core values that matter to you narrow

core values that matter to you narrow

core values that matter to you narrow down to three or five of them and

down to three or five of them and

down to three or five of them and brainstorm activities rituals traditions

brainstorm activities rituals traditions

brainstorm activities rituals traditions that you guys can ingrain in your

that you guys can ingrain in your

that you guys can ingrain in your personal lives and as you do that I

personal lives and as you do that I

personal lives and as you do that I promise you that you’re going to find a

promise you that you’re going to find a

promise you that you’re going to find a more deliberate culture better behaviors

more deliberate culture better behaviors

more deliberate culture better behaviors and a better outcome and as the storms

and a better outcome and as the storms

and a better outcome and as the storms the unexpected storms and life come

the unexpected storms and life come

the unexpected storms and life come about as a large ship maybe bears down

about as a large ship maybe bears down

about as a large ship maybe bears down upon you hopefully you’ll have the

upon you hopefully you’ll have the

upon you hopefully you’ll have the vision and the courage to reach out with

vision and the courage to reach out with

vision and the courage to reach out with both hands and violently push away thank