[Applause] thanks for coming out everyone hopefully
thanks for coming out everyone hopefully
thanks for coming out everyone hopefully you’ll feel that the next ten minutes of
you’ll feel that the next ten minutes of
you’ll feel that the next ten minutes of your life were pretty well spent so just
your life were pretty well spent so just
your life were pretty well spent so just as a show of hands how many of you are
as a show of hands how many of you are
as a show of hands how many of you are freshmen in the crowd lots lots of
freshmen in the crowd lots lots of
freshmen in the crowd lots lots of freshmen all right now how many of you
freshmen all right now how many of you
freshmen all right now how many of you feel like even though you’ve only been
feel like even though you’ve only been
feel like even though you’ve only been here a few weeks everybody around you
here a few weeks everybody around you
here a few weeks everybody around you seems to already have their entire life
seems to already have their entire life
seems to already have their entire life story mapped out ooh yes so so when I
story mapped out ooh yes so so when I
story mapped out ooh yes so so when I came to Hopkins I felt exactly this way
came to Hopkins I felt exactly this way
came to Hopkins I felt exactly this way so when I got here I actually wanted to
so when I got here I actually wanted to
so when I got here I actually wanted to major in economics and become an
major in economics and become an
major in economics and become an investment banker the plan was make a
investment banker the plan was make a
investment banker the plan was make a ton of money more cash on like a dream
ton of money more cash on like a dream
ton of money more cash on like a dream of retire at the age of 40 and lived the
of retire at the age of 40 and lived the
of retire at the age of 40 and lived the rest of my life on a yacht but I think
rest of my life on a yacht but I think
rest of my life on a yacht but I think that after a few weeks of being here
that after a few weeks of being here
that after a few weeks of being here that wasn’t going to pan out I’m just
that wasn’t going to pan out I’m just
that wasn’t going to pan out I’m just not a numbers guy and I knew I wouldn’t
not a numbers guy and I knew I wouldn’t
not a numbers guy and I knew I wouldn’t be happy doing that day in day out every
be happy doing that day in day out every
be happy doing that day in day out every single day for the rest of my life and
single day for the rest of my life and
single day for the rest of my life and it didn’t help that I hated economics I
it didn’t help that I hated economics I
it didn’t help that I hated economics I was god awful at it ahead I didn’t have
was god awful at it ahead I didn’t have
was god awful at it ahead I didn’t have a back-up plan you know I didn’t really
a back-up plan you know I didn’t really
a back-up plan you know I didn’t really plan on coming here and within a few
plan on coming here and within a few
plan on coming here and within a few weeks changing my entire career my
weeks changing my entire career my
weeks changing my entire career my entire major it wasn’t in the four year
entire major it wasn’t in the four year
entire major it wasn’t in the four year plan but that’s what ended up happening
plan but that’s what ended up happening
plan but that’s what ended up happening so I when I want to Kim Hopkins I
so I when I want to Kim Hopkins I
so I when I want to Kim Hopkins I actually applied early decision so for
actually applied early decision so for
actually applied early decision so for the first time in my life I was really
the first time in my life I was really
the first time in my life I was really uncertain about what the next step was
uncertain about what the next step was
uncertain about what the next step was going to be and you know you guys are
going to be and you know you guys are
going to be and you know you guys are all go to Hopkins you know that it seems
all go to Hopkins you know that it seems
all go to Hopkins you know that it seems like everyone’s got it all figured out
like everyone’s got it all figured out
like everyone’s got it all figured out and I honestly thought I was the only
and I honestly thought I was the only
and I honestly thought I was the only one who didn’t this feeling of Lawson is
one who didn’t this feeling of Lawson is
one who didn’t this feeling of Lawson is sort of festered inside me and it grew I
sort of festered inside me and it grew I
sort of festered inside me and it grew I distinctly remember my very first
distinctly remember my very first
distinctly remember my very first birthday at Hopkins my 19th it was in
birthday at Hopkins my 19th it was in
birthday at Hopkins my 19th it was in the fall so I’m still getting to know a
the fall so I’m still getting to know a
the fall so I’m still getting to know a lot of people i was taking this
lot of people i was taking this
lot of people i was taking this philosophy course and for a midterm we
philosophy course and for a midterm we
philosophy course and for a midterm we had to write this paper and of course
had to write this paper and of course
had to write this paper and of course since it was my first paper in college I
since it was my first paper in college I
since it was my first paper in college I did absolutely awfully and I had to
did absolutely awfully and I had to
did absolutely awfully and I had to rewrite it and the day I had to rewrite
rewrite it and the day I had to rewrite
rewrite it and the day I had to rewrite it on was of course my birthday and I
it on was of course my birthday and I
it on was of course my birthday and I know many of you know me but for those
know many of you know me but for those
know many of you know me but for those who don’t I’m a huge birthday guy and to
who don’t I’m a huge birthday guy and to
who don’t I’m a huge birthday guy and to me what a birthday is is it’s not really
me what a birthday is is it’s not really
me what a birthday is is it’s not really about the person whose day it is it’s
about the person whose day it is it’s
about the person whose day it is it’s more about that feeling of togetherness
more about that feeling of togetherness
more about that feeling of togetherness closeness that you feel when you get all
closeness that you feel when you get all
closeness that you feel when you get all your friends and all your family in the
your friends and all your family in the
your friends and all your family in the same room so I’m sure you can imagine
same room so I’m sure you can imagine
same room so I’m sure you can imagine how disappointed I was when I spent all
how disappointed I was when I spent all
how disappointed I was when I spent all day and all night alone and the confines
day and all night alone and the confines
day and all night alone and the confines of my dark crime in my darkroom writing
of my dark crime in my darkroom writing
of my dark crime in my darkroom writing this absurdly ridiculous paper so I know
this absurdly ridiculous paper so I know
this absurdly ridiculous paper so I know this feeling of being socially lost and
this feeling of being socially lost and
this feeling of being socially lost and alone has nothing really to do with my
alone has nothing really to do with my
alone has nothing really to do with my academics but the feelings sort of
academics but the feelings sort of
academics but the feelings sort of compounded and they had this additive
compounded and they had this additive
compounded and they had this additive effect on me I felt completely buried in
effect on me I felt completely buried in
effect on me I felt completely buried in uncertainty and I didn’t know who was
uncertainty and I didn’t know who was
uncertainty and I didn’t know who was going to pull me out and I really wish
going to pull me out and I really wish
going to pull me out and I really wish that I could say that this was my
that I could say that this was my
that I could say that this was my turning point this is where I had my
turning point this is where I had my
turning point this is where I had my epiphany and I changed everything around
epiphany and I changed everything around
epiphany and I changed everything around for the better but that just isn’t true
for the better but that just isn’t true
for the better but that just isn’t true I actually the feeling of confusion grew
I actually the feeling of confusion grew
I actually the feeling of confusion grew quite a lot so in the next two years I
quite a lot so in the next two years I
quite a lot so in the next two years I bounced around from department to
bounced around from department to
bounced around from department to Department taking classes all over the
Department taking classes all over the
Department taking classes all over the place so I was a big power mature mother
place so I was a big power mature mother
place so I was a big power mature mother fat anyhow I mentioned with mother fans
fat anyhow I mentioned with mother fans
fat anyhow I mentioned with mother fans here yeah yeah so I’m a big Ted Mosby
here yeah yeah so I’m a big Ted Mosby
here yeah yeah so I’m a big Ted Mosby fan so I tried out civil engineering to
fan so I tried out civil engineering to
fan so I tried out civil engineering to see if I could become an architect that
see if I could become an architect that
see if I could become an architect that didn’t pan out I wanted to bind a bond
didn’t pan out I wanted to bind a bond
didn’t pan out I wanted to bind a bond of my roommate Tariq so I tried out
of my roommate Tariq so I tried out
of my roommate Tariq so I tried out neuroscience that that’s clearly didn’t
neuroscience that that’s clearly didn’t
neuroscience that that’s clearly didn’t work out either and then I I wanted to
work out either and then I I wanted to
work out either and then I I wanted to see if I could be the next great
see if I could be the next great
see if I could be the next great philosopher of the 21st century but you
philosopher of the 21st century but you
philosopher of the 21st century but you all know how that one turned out
all know how that one turned out
all know how that one turned out ultimately after floundering and doing
ultimately after floundering and doing
ultimately after floundering and doing everything I could I finally settled on
everything I could I finally settled on
everything I could I finally settled on public health so the thing with
public health so the thing with
public health so the thing with uncertainty is that it’s it’s a very
uncertainty is that it’s it’s a very
uncertainty is that it’s it’s a very normal thing it’s a normal and natural
normal thing it’s a normal and natural
normal thing it’s a normal and natural part of life and it’s going to keep
part of life and it’s going to keep
part of life and it’s going to keep happening to you again and again and
happening to you again and again and
happening to you again and again and again and then argue that it’s actually
again and then argue that it’s actually
again and then argue that it’s actually a good thing because it forces you to
a good thing because it forces you to
a good thing because it forces you to sit down and really think about who you
sit down and really think about who you
sit down and really think about who you are and who you want to be and while
are and who you want to be and while
are and who you want to be and while it’s great we recognize that it’s a
it’s great we recognize that it’s a
it’s great we recognize that it’s a totally normal part of life how can we
totally normal part of life how can we
totally normal part of life how can we take this experience and kind of create
take this experience and kind of create
take this experience and kind of create something tangible out of it basically
something tangible out of it basically
something tangible out of it basically what I’m asking is what’s next so a few
what I’m asking is what’s next so a few
what I’m asking is what’s next so a few weekends ago a couple friends and I were
weekends ago a couple friends and I were
weekends ago a couple friends and I were feeling really rambunctious and
feeling really rambunctious and
feeling really rambunctious and adventurous and so what we decided to do
adventurous and so what we decided to do
adventurous and so what we decided to do was drive down to West Virginia and go
was drive down to West Virginia and go
was drive down to West Virginia and go spelunking so for those of you don’t
spelunking so for those of you don’t
spelunking so for those of you don’t know what’s plunking it it’s not some
know what’s plunking it it’s not some
know what’s plunking it it’s not some weird sex position it’s actually yeah
weird sex position it’s actually yeah
weird sex position it’s actually yeah yeah
yeah
yeah King is actually just cave exploration
King is actually just cave exploration
King is actually just cave exploration so when we were inside this cave one of
so when we were inside this cave one of
so when we were inside this cave one of the things we had to do was pass through
the things we had to do was pass through
the things we had to do was pass through the structure called the keyhole the
the structure called the keyhole the
the structure called the keyhole the keyhole was basically these two boulders
keyhole was basically these two boulders
keyhole was basically these two boulders about this far apart and you had this
about this far apart and you had this
about this far apart and you had this much with and each of us had to crawl up
much with and each of us had to crawl up
much with and each of us had to crawl up and into the keyhole and twist our twist
and into the keyhole and twist our twist
and into the keyhole and twist our twist our way through now of course just my
our way through now of course just my
our way through now of course just my luck when I try to go through my ribcage
luck when I try to go through my ribcage
luck when I try to go through my ribcage got stuck between the two boulders and I
got stuck between the two boulders and I
got stuck between the two boulders and I was stuck so I immediately began
was stuck so I immediately began
was stuck so I immediately began panicking my heart rate shot up it was
panicking my heart rate shot up it was
panicking my heart rate shot up it was hyperventilating I couldn’t breathe I
hyperventilating I couldn’t breathe I
hyperventilating I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t think I remember distinctly
couldn’t think I remember distinctly
couldn’t think I remember distinctly looking at my good friend Kevin and him
looking at my good friend Kevin and him
looking at my good friend Kevin and him nearly shouting at me that I need to
nearly shouting at me that I need to
nearly shouting at me that I need to calm down now after a minute or two of
calm down now after a minute or two of
calm down now after a minute or two of Kevin scolding I was finally able to
Kevin scolding I was finally able to
Kevin scolding I was finally able to settle down get my breathing under
settle down get my breathing under
settle down get my breathing under control exhale finally I slip right to
control exhale finally I slip right to
control exhale finally I slip right to the keel now the problem with this cave
the keel now the problem with this cave
the keel now the problem with this cave was that there was only one entrance and
was that there was only one entrance and
was that there was only one entrance and one exit so that if I wanted to get out
one exit so that if I wanted to get out
one exit so that if I wanted to get out of the cave what did I have to go
of the cave what did I have to go
of the cave what did I have to go through again the keyhole so this time
through again the keyhole so this time
through again the keyhole so this time when I saw the keel before i was even
when I saw the keel before i was even
when I saw the keel before i was even inside it I could already feel that
inside it I could already feel that
inside it I could already feel that phantom crushing feeling on my chest it
phantom crushing feeling on my chest it
phantom crushing feeling on my chest it was already panicking just looking at it
was already panicking just looking at it
was already panicking just looking at it even though I knew everything was going
even though I knew everything was going
even though I knew everything was going to be totally fine just like it was the
to be totally fine just like it was the
to be totally fine just like it was the last time I couldn’t help but be
last time I couldn’t help but be
last time I couldn’t help but be overcome by this feeling of despair but
overcome by this feeling of despair but
overcome by this feeling of despair but instead of freaking out further at least
instead of freaking out further at least
instead of freaking out further at least freaking out even more what I did was I
freaking out even more what I did was I
freaking out even more what I did was I calm myself down started controlling my
calm myself down started controlling my
calm myself down started controlling my breathing and I actually stepped through
breathing and I actually stepped through
breathing and I actually stepped through the hole in just over a second or two
the hole in just over a second or two
the hole in just over a second or two now throughout our lives whether it be
now throughout our lives whether it be
now throughout our lives whether it be with our majors our friends our family
with our majors our friends our family
with our majors our friends our family relationships our job there are going to
relationships our job there are going to
relationships our job there are going to be times where we’re frozen like deer in
be times where we’re frozen like deer in
be times where we’re frozen like deer in the headlights but if we want to
the headlights but if we want to
the headlights but if we want to overcome this feeling we just need to
overcome this feeling we just need to
overcome this feeling we just need to calm down and dive headfirst into this
calm down and dive headfirst into this
calm down and dive headfirst into this uncertainty you know when certainty is
uncertainty you know when certainty is
uncertainty you know when certainty is actually really ironic because what it
actually really ironic because what it
actually really ironic because what it does to us is it freezes us and makes us
does to us is it freezes us and makes us
does to us is it freezes us and makes us feel stuck prevents us from being able
feel stuck prevents us from being able
feel stuck prevents us from being able to think from being able to act but the
to think from being able to act but the
to think from being able to act but the funny thing about it is that the only
funny thing about it is that the only
funny thing about it is that the only way to get out of that pattern is
way to get out of that pattern is
way to get out of that pattern is actually to get off the couch and go do
actually to get off the couch and go do
actually to get off the couch and go do something and I know it might be scary
something and I know it might be scary
something and I know it might be scary and the entire process while you’re
and the entire process while you’re
and the entire process while you’re trying to figure this whole thing out
trying to figure this whole thing out
trying to figure this whole thing out you’re going to feel like you’re stuck
you’re going to feel like you’re stuck
you’re going to feel like you’re stuck permanently but I promise you
permanently but I promise you
permanently but I promise you if you give your genuine best effort in
if you give your genuine best effort in
if you give your genuine best effort in diving headfirst you’re going to be just
diving headfirst you’re going to be just
diving headfirst you’re going to be just fine now I wish I wish when I wish when
fine now I wish I wish when I wish when
fine now I wish I wish when I wish when I was bouncing around from Department
I was bouncing around from Department
I was bouncing around from Department the Department trying to find myself
the Department trying to find myself
the Department trying to find myself that I knew this piece of advice because
that I knew this piece of advice because
that I knew this piece of advice because for me taking one class in the
for me taking one class in the
for me taking one class in the department just wasn’t enough to figure
department just wasn’t enough to figure
department just wasn’t enough to figure out that I wanted to do something for
out that I wanted to do something for
out that I wanted to do something for the rest of my life so after taking a
the rest of my life so after taking a
the rest of my life so after taking a course with dr. Philip leaf and me I was
course with dr. Philip leaf and me I was
course with dr. Philip leaf and me I was really into a public health to figure
really into a public health to figure
really into a public health to figure out if I actually really liked it I
out if I actually really liked it I
out if I actually really liked it I realized I needed to get my boots on the
realized I needed to get my boots on the
realized I needed to get my boots on the ground and actually get into the field
ground and actually get into the field
ground and actually get into the field so that’s when I decided to join Health
so that’s when I decided to join Health
so that’s when I decided to join Health leads and i’ve been working at our
leads and i’ve been working at our
leads and i’ve been working at our substance abuse center doing case
substance abuse center doing case
substance abuse center doing case management ever since because the thing
management ever since because the thing
management ever since because the thing is that learning in the classroom is
is that learning in the classroom is
is that learning in the classroom is great but if you really want to know if
great but if you really want to know if
great but if you really want to know if you’re passionate about something you
you’re passionate about something you
you’re passionate about something you got to get your feet wet and get your
got to get your feet wet and get your
got to get your feet wet and get your hands dirty now just as I faced my fear
hands dirty now just as I faced my fear
hands dirty now just as I faced my fear of the kegel not once but twice I
of the kegel not once but twice I
of the kegel not once but twice I challenge you all to face your fear of
challenge you all to face your fear of
challenge you all to face your fear of uncertainty and if there’s anything I’ve
uncertainty and if there’s anything I’ve
uncertainty and if there’s anything I’ve learned about kind of navigating through
learned about kind of navigating through
learned about kind of navigating through these uncharted waters is that it’s all
these uncharted waters is that it’s all
these uncharted waters is that it’s all about momentum my favorite word momentum
about momentum my favorite word momentum
about momentum my favorite word momentum because even when you feel like the roof
because even when you feel like the roof
because even when you feel like the roof is caving in on you and you feel
is caving in on you and you feel
is caving in on you and you feel smothered by this pressure of
smothered by this pressure of
smothered by this pressure of uncertainty all you need is one thing
uncertainty all you need is one thing
uncertainty all you need is one thing one thing to go right one thing to
one thing to go right one thing to
one thing to go right one thing to change everything one thing to build
change everything one thing to build
change everything one thing to build your confidence and get the ball rolling
your confidence and get the ball rolling
your confidence and get the ball rolling and this whole thing is totally
and this whole thing is totally
and this whole thing is totally frightening totally frightening and you
frightening totally frightening and you
frightening totally frightening and you know what that’s the best part about
know what that’s the best part about
know what that’s the best part about being in college because whether you
being in college because whether you
being in college because whether you know what are not right now you’re
know what are not right now you’re
know what are not right now you’re filled in a room full of people who are
filled in a room full of people who are
filled in a room full of people who are totally scared and the people who
totally scared and the people who
totally scared and the people who weren’t scared they remember a time
weren’t scared they remember a time
weren’t scared they remember a time where they were not too long ago that’s
where they were not too long ago that’s
where they were not too long ago that’s the great part about college now there’s
the great part about college now there’s
the great part about college now there’s anything I want you to take away from
anything I want you to take away from
anything I want you to take away from this talk it’s this just remember that
this talk it’s this just remember that
this talk it’s this just remember that no matter who you are right now or who
no matter who you are right now or who
no matter who you are right now or who you want to become this idea of
you want to become this idea of
you want to become this idea of uncertainty is never going to completely
uncertainty is never going to completely
uncertainty is never going to completely disappear it’ll continue to rear its
disappear it’ll continue to rear its
disappear it’ll continue to rear its ugly head over and over and over again
ugly head over and over and over again
ugly head over and over and over again it’s not something you just get to wash
it’s not something you just get to wash
it’s not something you just get to wash your hands away and it goes and it’s
your hands away and it goes and it’s
your hands away and it goes and it’s gone forever it’s not how it works
gone forever it’s not how it works
gone forever it’s not how it works but we can’t let the sphere of the
but we can’t let the sphere of the
but we can’t let the sphere of the future stifle us we can’t let this idea
future stifle us we can’t let this idea
future stifle us we can’t let this idea of uncertainty build this persistent
of uncertainty build this persistent
of uncertainty build this persistent unrest inside us we needed a venture out
unrest inside us we needed a venture out
unrest inside us we needed a venture out and see what Hopkins and our surrounding
and see what Hopkins and our surrounding
and see what Hopkins and our surrounding communities have in store for us and see
communities have in store for us and see
communities have in store for us and see what they have to offer we need to
what they have to offer we need to
what they have to offer we need to recognize their fears and reservations
recognize their fears and reservations
recognize their fears and reservations and overcome them because it’s not about
and overcome them because it’s not about
and overcome them because it’s not about that uncertain sinking feeling you get
that uncertain sinking feeling you get
that uncertain sinking feeling you get in your stomach and it’s not about that
in your stomach and it’s not about that
in your stomach and it’s not about that uneasiness you get when you think about
uneasiness you get when you think about
uneasiness you get when you think about what the future might hold it’s about
what the future might hold it’s about
what the future might hold it’s about what you do next thank you
what you do next thank you
what you do next thank you [Applause]
”
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