awful a terrible invisible ax
that leaves us stupid two speechless
it collapses as we continue to live
after the death of a son like
keep breathing eating while smiling
to life itself has broken the loved one
why we woke up
every morning
smiling at life in the time of
our grandparents and great grandparents would follow
environment and facing death
he talked about death many
they lived in rural areas where I saw
born and die to their animals to
dying to their loved ones in their
last moment they were accompanied in the
deathbed were there and now they’re going
together they prayed together they will say goodbye today
we live on our backs death
we want to be eternally beautiful we want
be eternally well and we have
delivered to doctors the power of the
total healing we have replaced the
religious beliefs the faith for
science
we thought we went to the hospital to the
clinic to the health center to leave
cured
we never think about death and when
these are presented to us as a guest
stone that no one has called not
we know how to face death yet
worst
nobody has ever prepared us for defeat
we live in a successful world where
they just prepare us to lift the
arms in triumph but nobody
prepares us for when it’s not wrong or not
as well
nobody teaches us to console myself to be
consoled nobody teaches us to forgive and
forgiven how to forgive me if I
bring that wonderful son
francisco to a hospital where he left
inside a coffin
That was my baby who reached or drinks
to live barely almost five years as
continue living and you pose many
things who am I where I’m going
what is life because death because
my son because me because we because
my family that there are beyond questions
all without response and you can torture
and spend your life wondering how
make sense of nonsense and we
we forget that life friends is a
sequence of duels no growth
mental without elaborating a grieving process
and maybe the first duel of our
life is when we come out of the womb of
our mother and of course we cried
there is a town a loss of that
peace that tranquility that there was after
of weaning if you do not learn water that is
baby to take off from his mother’s breast
it’s hard for me to keep moving forward and
growing therefore the duel is a
existential radical that differentiates us
of the animals there is no growth
mental without grieving and when we see each other
faced with this tremendous event to the
loss of a somewhat unnatural child
it has a name because there are orphans to
yoke but that we are parents in
mourning we have to elaborate a
tremendous process many times very
misunderstood because it’s difficult and I
I get it
put ourselves in our place but we have
that try to get ahead for us
same for that son who left because
he came to this earth at whatever age
let it be
I’ve heard gara moore and not to convert to
this family is dead in life but it is
difficult it is very difficult that not
cheat first thing
bereavement is not a disease does not exist
nothing that to me of the remedy and a
pill and a sleeping pill nothing that to me
make me forget that that son died
because in the minute that I’m lucid
I realize that on this earth
never more
I ‘m going to see him alive again so
so much this duel that you have to elaborate
it’s like a chain has link is
this these four or four stages that
they are called four stages truth is
like a chain because if I jumped
a link tomorrow in a lot more time
or when it is for some other event
that does not happen in life I’m going to go back
to zero point
I will go back to that stage I have it
what to live
the first is the frob is when you
whole or when you listen to that
phone at three in the morning you
you know there’s nothing good there and you
heart of alert
there is an alert from mother to father
family that that called
it’s something that the soft of the
first instant is how I accept with the
heart
the death of a child my head does not accept
but as I agree on the
heart with the brain
look imagine that the distance that
there is between my heart and my brain is
very short but endless and is within
the mind
I have not how to agree not
I know how to accept the unacceptable to me
it seems to me that I am living a
nightmare and that to me tomorrow someone
he’s going to wake up and he’s going to tell me it’s not
true
your son is alive I have to start
accept an unacceptable reality give
meaning to nonsense
at this stage is so much pain that no
there are almost words you can not put in
words what
living my soul the second stage in a
super long stage because it’s coming
the rage
the guilt the anguish and that feeling
so human that it differentiates us from
animals and that is worth it
it hurts every inch of me
skin
my hair hurts my hair falls out
I want to eat
I do not want to see people laugh I do not know
I want to go out to the street and fast to
walk
I do not want people to eat I talked
go to the movies I watched movies that in it
neighbors laugh my house the
children because I can not imagine
my future I only know from the moment
when my son died back no
I know how to get back into that world
demanding where people are
ready to succeed where every
one of you is going to follow your life and I
do not
in my house everything was shattered any
piece was full and I never even
my husband or my husband nor my children nor
my grandparents grandparents nobody from the
family will be the same person
and if you or someone expects that
bereaved person to be the one who was
they could only be frustrated why
never again
we do the same in this
rabies anguish penalty period
rage is a feeling is something very
human we have to dump what
it happened to us in someone and we put the rage
we get angry against doctors against
society against god against the driver
who was driving that machine and finally
we get angry with ourselves because
we realize that we do what
let’s get angry with who we are
let’s get mad again we’ll see again
with life to our son
Thus
that anger that guilt that I feel
in the background myself get into a
introverted line and I begin to
ask me why I did not do it like that
because he can not do it anymore because I told him
that it was because I gave him permission because
lend the car because I did not take it
why not take it to the United States to
take the exam etc. and so on
etc
at this stage there is a lot of anger and this
rage you have to get it out
many times I talking with parents
in duel they tell me that logically with
the person who has the most at hand
finally they are downloaded and it is your spouse
your partner your partner finally the father
of that son I tell you dear parents
please have patience here what
Only one thing is to be patient with the
another and with oneself do not add more
pain to the pain that already exists so
So one of the things that helps is because
example wait for everyone to leave the
home seize the moment when one
he’s just putting a music to the best
some want a good ranchera
weeping others will want a music
inspiring go to the piece put it in
loud voice
the high volume and stick with the
pillow to bed do homework five
minutes at least a day and you will see
that helps them get rid of rabies and not
take out anger against others that you
they do not realize
one does not realize in pain that the
another is also suffering because they
I want to say that in the duel
there is the invisibility of pain
I do not imagine that another could suffer as
I’m suffering, not even the father
of my son I do not see it
although I do not see my son
Although I imagine he could
be suffering but he did not share
what I com
You I was the mother I took him in my
belly and all these things that one gets
imagine and think make you one
begins to move away from the couple and so
we started to live instead of in a home
we started to live in a hotel every son
it is enclosed in one piece each child eats
what you can get out of the refrigerator is
also encloses jogo bonito cuenta mi
fellow senior well also then
I tell them they have is patience and
another important oxygen in the brain
They need to go for a walk, although they do not
can take a step
many times you promise yourself when you leave
the day says I go day I promise myself
be a little better but just put
a foot under the bed and everything goes back to
fojas zero
but if you propose to him and he says
I’m going to walk at least I’ll give
a return to the block or in the square
the corner and look not only at the tip of
his feet
please look up to heaven they will have
expand be the universe and please
close your eyes concentrate for five
seconds in a rainbow do not think about
they know nothing that we think more
that we have more than 60 thousand thoughts
a day we went from one to the other one to the
another one in times of crisis is good
stop and try to have the
quiet brain
concentrate on one thing and think
iris which encompassed them tomorrow
will allow each of you
grieving parents come back to see a bit of
light and not continue living in this tunnel
black
the next stage is the stage of
adaptation
I in this life will not go back to see
my son and therefore I have to be reborn
to life and place that child that no longer
it is in my inner world
it’s very difficult but you can
we have achieved billions of
father in the world
so there’s no need to be a day
special and have a strength
alien
The only thing that will help us is to think
that son is not my executioner did not come to
this earth bury that son wants
feel proud of me like me
I feel proud and have had the
privilege and the honor of being his mother and
in the reunion in that eternal embrace
some day we will give myself I think that
he also feels proud
proud proud of this family that
had the final stage is the stage of the
resolution where is very nice
because it’s like being reborn and that’s why
the self-help groups are called
be reborn because I reopen my eyes to
a new hole a new world maybe
they have new friends and friends
before they were left on the road
not because they are bad, understand me
surely if it had happened to me
what happened to me to a friend who
I would not have known what to do either and
true that each one returns his reality to
his world his work to his family the
things the world is frantic all
they run and they run and I stopped just me
and my family stopped
it’s like touching a wall or 200 a
300 kilometers per hour
there is nothing black then I understand
that people say to you ‘well I changed
the friends also some
they remained a few
Regarding it is very important that the
stage in the resolution what you see is
the future for the first time was that of
walk forward
that is also a discovery that
you do because you are a new me or
a new hole true and you want new
things in your life
maybe for example you want to learn
new gardening things
and to have a pet in order to dedicate
do not be like the movies at all
stages of mourning
the books are the best counselors
read always in life people have gone
very smart and then he has put
in writing things that one does not even
I could imagine
therefore lean are good counselors
the books the friends of the mourner
they have to know a pure thing they do not have
that prejudge and judge which have already
spent eight months and still the same said
after I cry it I do not know all my life
doha 14 if I do not know the only thing
I want you to listen to me, there’s no
nothing that you tell me to return to me
son to this earth but I the only
way to bring the present to my son
talking about him and seeing the photos of
reviewing the videos from when you ‘re
the first tooth came out when I cut it
the little hair
when I came to school to the garden
childish when I put the first one
apron when he left school
when received as an engineer
when he told me he wanted to be a poet
our children or our children
we can cry all our life but we have to
learn to help with dignity
that’s what they expect from us
children is very important when you
they have other children and smaller than
the one who left did not tell him that he who
It was in a little angel that God took him
because it was very good
imagine that a minor evil child of
five years or 6 does not have resources
as adults to know or to
imagine in concrete form what is the
death
he has seen the cartoons that the
bad is always crushed and they end
bad and that good wins I thought but in
real life what they are telling me
is that the flight dies or is going and
who the bad then i am bad
because I stay and I do not take diosito
what a super good god and want what
better for us then let’s not go
this phrase do not continue with this sentence is
that one so often listens to the other
parents should know that children do not
they need to go to the cemetery all the
day is enough for us to go but
they imagine a boy sitting on the
gravestone daily and happens happens more
of what one would like to leave the
children in the care of someone from a
neighbor of a friend who has others
little boy other companions of the same
age that can play in children
you know how they are with the game at
play children show their seventh
and his feelings and in him in what
They are living many children
they ask their parents if someone gives
to eat the brother who left
if someone is for when
cold and if it trembles mom who takes care of it
Children need clear answers
but not knowing more than they
can understand that is to say there is no
give you more information than what
they need and ask about the other
important
the teenagers when the children and
the teenagers do not want to forget this
they do not learn from what they hear they learn
of what they see in the house if my son
little one asks me mom is
crying and I tell him no son came in
a little fly to the eye I ‘m
lying and he knows even small
I have to tell my son that I’m
sad but it would have been sad
by any of you
10 followed and normal and natural in the
life in dying of old man is not to die
from young to you this will not happen to you
death is spread
the death talk does not bring death
to this home
people are afraid to talk to us crosses
the street when not faith I did not follow
why because we are afraid that we
pass that to us but I assure you
that does not spread
but if it makes them more human because
unfortunately I had to learn
well i would have loved to daract a
gardening talk is my passion and I do not
of this but I had to learn like that and
this led me to understand
thank you we got like this to this pain can
be more empathetic with your pain with the
your most sensitive can learn to
listen to the other and many times we
dueling parents
we rate the pains of others
but because I mean I can not cry for
that but it is a clear nonsense
obviously my pain is incomparable but
we do not put ourselves in the other’s place
favor
the other is suffering for him or for
she that pain is intense and month or only
and he does not know what to do
needs to be heard look at any
pain that a human being faces but
romea internally is not capable of
take it out
we need to put words to pain and
We need a hand you hear us
ear
here next to me a hug I do not need
more than that
of my friends I need a hug to
someone who goes to the supermarket with my
that can bring something rich to the house
understand turn off the light of the case not
There is more life , everything is over
I do not care about anything when I wake up
I think why I ‘m not sleeping, I’m not
I want
wake up I want to be stunned all the
day well in teens the stage
of adolescence is very complicated
because it turns out that they are leaving
back the parents of childhood
it is not that they are rebellious with us
is that they really see us in another way
with our defects they no longer see us as
supermen or superwomen the
supermamá that the most beautiful in the world
the miss universe see us as we are and
then to those young people there are also
to tell you that many of them to me
have said susana I put an end to
my life because why am I going to continue
studying forcing to see how of my
brother who brought the woman in
notebooks studying all day if you
I died here I’m going to do it I’m going to
Keep studying
my life is over I want to tell you
these young people who have suffered
very much because the brothers share
all the secrets of the family
nobody knows more what happens in a
family that brothers and secrets
among them they do not share even with
parents
so for a brother the loss
of another brother is something brutal and
incomprehensible remain orphans
also that of being a hand perhaps with the
who slept in the same room with the
they were going to the young party phil that
young people went out together many times
the studies leave us quite aside
it gets looser
they lock themselves in the piece they put on the
computer
you have to leave them each of the
members of the family is trying to
survive and for that it elaborates its own
strategy
nobody is going to mourn how I do
me because the duel is unique and
untransferable
I can not mourn like the other
and the other will never be like me nor
I can criticize for you, cry a lot for
why are you crying a little because you do not want to see
the photo when I was born
because you want to go out to a party
but how do you think without pain?
it fits the pleasure
all that phrase do not help do not help in
nothing does not contribute they know what helps
tell that son
let’s walk and not fill the silence
with words you do not need to fill the
silence that I can tell you if I am what
that he is living and suddenly
is going to talk to me or is he going to want to tell me
something but what we should not do in a
family is to deny that this happened
to realize that nothing happened here
how many families later have
repented well to the young people there are
have patience with them the same patience
that they have to have with oneself and with
the couple or with the children as I say
the grieving processes are hard hard
It is long
everyone does it is like to see how they
can explain is how to get off fast
and I in a canoe in my husband no other
the children go in another
we are trying to survive from
Suddenly, I took a deep breath and hit me.
on a rock we do not see for ribadeo
black
suddenly I suddenly find ourselves
we found like this is
the duel is not linear
they are cycles have waves suddenly
I’m fine and I breathe suddenly I’m
bad or world but it’s like that but I love him
say one thing so you do not fool them
in which they advanced not backs down
the worst was the moment I knew
that my son I was not going to go back to
see him alive in this life and survive what
another please do not tell the parents
If what had happened to me had happened to me
happened to you I would be dead because
I’m trying to survive and I’m a
res judicata and we are parents with courage
because we are amputees
of soul our pain is not
I walk on the street like anyone
of you
each one has his cross and I am
trying to carry my cross as a
sculpture not like a stone
let me mourn my son and let me
not be bitter in my pain parents there
only two ways to get out on this or
you stay there stopped in time
oxidizing you like in an armor or you
you decide to try it and take the path that
It is difficult but it is the way of love
because when we have achieved the
resolution of the true adaptation to
this new reality and to relocate that
son who left in my inner world
I can love again the love
in the only thing in life that is worth
and yes to life because life is beautiful
I thank you that God
bless all parents that all
days in chile
five young people die every day in
traffic accidents
every day we fight so that
happen let’s not be afraid of life is
fragile but let’s fight because it’s worth
sorry, thank you very much
[Applause]
me
”
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