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Tomorrow, I could die | Valentine Thomas | TEDxHSG


[Music]

[Music] hi Padre sorry English is not my first

hi Padre sorry English is not my first

hi Padre sorry English is not my first language so if I say things that do not

language so if I say things that do not

language so if I say things that do not make sense I’m sorry I speak French so

make sense I’m sorry I speak French so

make sense I’m sorry I speak French so here I am I’m miles away from the coast

here I am I’m miles away from the coast

here I am I’m miles away from the coast of Florida I’m underwater and I’m

of Florida I’m underwater and I’m

of Florida I’m underwater and I’m holding this little hogfish that I just

holding this little hogfish that I just

holding this little hogfish that I just got I’m already thinking how am I gonna

got I’m already thinking how am I gonna

got I’m already thinking how am I gonna cook this fish tonight and all of a

cook this fish tonight and all of a

cook this fish tonight and all of a sudden there was an eight-foot tiger

sudden there was an eight-foot tiger

sudden there was an eight-foot tiger shark that appears in front of me it

shark that appears in front of me it

shark that appears in front of me it does not look happy and I can tell that

does not look happy and I can tell that

does not look happy and I can tell that he’s having the same thought I was

he’s having the same thought I was

he’s having the same thought I was having about little fish just a moment

having about little fish just a moment

having about little fish just a moment to go my heart is pounding in my chest

to go my heart is pounding in my chest

to go my heart is pounding in my chest and I can see that the shark insensate

and I can see that the shark insensate

and I can see that the shark insensate right now I’m thinking why am I not in

right now I’m thinking why am I not in

right now I’m thinking why am I not in front of my TV right now why did I pick

front of my TV right now why did I pick

front of my TV right now why did I pick this lifestyle what is wrong with me and

this lifestyle what is wrong with me and

this lifestyle what is wrong with me and then my next thought is hey this is the

then my next thought is hey this is the

then my next thought is hey this is the food chain the little fish just learned

food chain the little fish just learned

food chain the little fish just learned he was not at the top of it and Here I

he was not at the top of it and Here I

he was not at the top of it and Here I am learning the about the exact same

am learning the about the exact same

am learning the about the exact same blessin you don’t really know the kind

blessin you don’t really know the kind

blessin you don’t really know the kind of person you are until you faced with a

of person you are until you faced with a

of person you are until you faced with a life-or-death situation just by a race

life-or-death situation just by a race

life-or-death situation just by a race of hand who thinks that they would panic

of hand who thinks that they would panic

of hand who thinks that they would panic completely who think that he would

completely who think that he would

completely who think that he would remain completely calm who would

remain completely calm who would

remain completely calm who would probably push their diving in front of

probably push their diving in front of

probably push their diving in front of them hoping at a shahi exam instead

there’s a difference between the person

there’s a difference between the person you you think you are and the person you

you you think you are and the person you

you you think you are and the person you actually are and sometimes in certain

actually are and sometimes in certain

actually are and sometimes in certain situations like this one it doesn’t even

situations like this one it doesn’t even

situations like this one it doesn’t even matter

matter

matter the type of person you are so my name is

the type of person you are so my name is

the type of person you are so my name is Valentine Thomas I’m 30 years old and I

Valentine Thomas I’m 30 years old and I

Valentine Thomas I’m 30 years old and I quit everything I had in life to become

quit everything I had in life to become

quit everything I had in life to become a spiritual woman I now travel the world

a spiritual woman I now travel the world

a spiritual woman I now travel the world to catch my own food

to catch my own food

to catch my own food ralphie diving most people that I come

ralphie diving most people that I come

ralphie diving most people that I come across think that I’ve been tearing my

across think that I’ve been tearing my

across think that I’ve been tearing my entire life they think that oh this girl

entire life they think that oh this girl

entire life they think that oh this girl she must be so courageous to do

she must be so courageous to do

she must be so courageous to do something uh it’s actually very far

something uh it’s actually very far

something uh it’s actually very far reality I’m actually a big wuss but that

reality I’m actually a big wuss but that

reality I’m actually a big wuss but that never stopped me from pursuing what I

never stopped me from pursuing what I

never stopped me from pursuing what I love spearfishing is a very weird sport

love spearfishing is a very weird sport

love spearfishing is a very weird sport but it became my deepest passion and my

but it became my deepest passion and my

but it became my deepest passion and my journey to finding this out was not an

journey to finding this out was not an

journey to finding this out was not an easy one

easy one

easy one I’m you would never imagined when you

I’m you would never imagined when you

I’m you would never imagined when you see a picture of me struggling to get

see a picture of me struggling to get

see a picture of me struggling to get food or in the middle of the ocean you

food or in the middle of the ocean you

food or in the middle of the ocean you would never think that ten years ago I

would never think that ten years ago I

would never think that ten years ago I was far far away from the ocean I’m born

was far far away from the ocean I’m born

was far far away from the ocean I’m born and raised in Montreal Canada where

and raised in Montreal Canada where

and raised in Montreal Canada where yesses lakes and rivers but I’ve never

yesses lakes and rivers but I’ve never

yesses lakes and rivers but I’ve never been really big underwater and to be

been really big underwater and to be

been really big underwater and to be honest the water is way too cool from

honest the water is way too cool from

honest the water is way too cool from you over there anyways and also when I

you over there anyways and also when I

you over there anyways and also when I was 14 years old I went on a holiday

was 14 years old I went on a holiday

was 14 years old I went on a holiday with my parents at the side of France

with my parents at the side of France

with my parents at the side of France and I almost drowned I passed out on the

and I almost drowned I passed out on the

and I almost drowned I passed out on the water I got caught in an undertow and

water I got caught in an undertow and

water I got caught in an undertow and the lifeguard had to come save me the

the lifeguard had to come save me the

the lifeguard had to come save me the helicopter came it was a horrible day

helicopter came it was a horrible day

helicopter came it was a horrible day like at the stage of my life the water

like at the stage of my life the water

like at the stage of my life the water and I were definitely not friends but

and I were definitely not friends but

and I were definitely not friends but the biggest thing that kept me from

the biggest thing that kept me from

the biggest thing that kept me from pursuing a lot of big things in life or

pursuing a lot of big things in life or

pursuing a lot of big things in life or kept me away from the ocean was that my

kept me away from the ocean was that my

kept me away from the ocean was that my daily struggle with anxiety I was

daily struggle with anxiety I was

daily struggle with anxiety I was prisoner of my own mind of my own body

prisoner of my own mind of my own body

prisoner of my own mind of my own body when I was a teenager I could rule

when I was a teenager I could rule

when I was a teenager I could rule asleep bullied in high school and that

asleep bullied in high school and that

asleep bullied in high school and that had a very big impact on me and he

had a very big impact on me and he

had a very big impact on me and he created a lot of insecurities when I was

created a lot of insecurities when I was

created a lot of insecurities when I was 19 years old I started suffering from

19 years old I started suffering from

19 years old I started suffering from severe panic attacks and doing little

severe panic attacks and doing little

severe panic attacks and doing little things such as going to school or going

things such as going to school or going

things such as going to school or going for a drink became a big challenge for

for a drink became a big challenge for

for a drink became a big challenge for me I didn’t want to take medication so

me I didn’t want to take medication so

me I didn’t want to take medication so with the help of my best friend

with the help of my best friend

with the help of my best friend Dominique and with a lot of work in

Dominique and with a lot of work in

Dominique and with a lot of work in therapy I managed to face those fears so

therapy I managed to face those fears so

therapy I managed to face those fears so I was able to not take the meds and do

I was able to not take the meds and do

I was able to not take the meds and do it one meter at the time facing my

it one meter at the time facing my

it one meter at the time facing my irrational fears and the process of

irrational fears and the process of

irrational fears and the process of doing that was to make the uncomfortable

doing that was to make the uncomfortable

doing that was to make the uncomfortable comfortable and that kind of became my

comfortable and that kind of became my

comfortable and that kind of became my way of living after that I was putting

way of living after that I was putting

way of living after that I was putting myself in uncomfortable situation until

myself in uncomfortable situation until

myself in uncomfortable situation until that became a source of comfort but

that became a source of comfort but

that became a source of comfort but before I linked all of that was pivoting

before I linked all of that was pivoting

before I linked all of that was pivoting let’s just start from the beginning so I

let’s just start from the beginning so I

let’s just start from the beginning so I always been a very very carrier

always been a very very carrier

always been a very very carrier orientated person I was dreaming of

orientated person I was dreaming of

orientated person I was dreaming of becoming the biggest criminal lawyer in

becoming the biggest criminal lawyer in

becoming the biggest criminal lawyer in the country my idea of success was to be

the country my idea of success was to be

the country my idea of success was to be in the top of my field should have a big

in the top of my field should have a big

in the top of my field should have a big house to have a fancy car I just wanted

house to have a fancy car I just wanted

house to have a fancy car I just wanted to be bigger I want to be bigger with

to be bigger I want to be bigger with

to be bigger I want to be bigger with those bullies I want to look at them and

those bullies I want to look at them and

those bullies I want to look at them and say you too loser and not me and when

say you too loser and not me and when

say you too loser and not me and when you look at this closer you realize that

you look at this closer you realize that

you look at this closer you realize that all I was doing is just giving them a to

all I was doing is just giving them a to

all I was doing is just giving them a to day games and taking the wrong patches

day games and taking the wrong patches

day games and taking the wrong patches by doing that my family is a group of

by doing that my family is a group of

by doing that my family is a group of intellectual my mom is a corporate

intellectual my mom is a corporate

intellectual my mom is a corporate lawyer and she spent many many nights in

lawyer and she spent many many nights in

lawyer and she spent many many nights in the office she actually still sends me

the office she actually still sends me

the office she actually still sends me university applications because she

university applications because she

university applications because she thinks I’m having a midlife crisis a

thinks I’m having a midlife crisis a

thinks I’m having a midlife crisis a little bit too early so I follow this

little bit too early so I follow this

little bit too early so I follow this path my parents thought that success was

path my parents thought that success was

path my parents thought that success was made on studying hard having a

made on studying hard having a

made on studying hard having a respectable and stable profession so I

respectable and stable profession so I

respectable and stable profession so I followed this path I went into my law

followed this path I went into my law

followed this path I went into my law degree and then I studied for my master

degree and then I studied for my master

degree and then I studied for my master but something was still wrong and I

but something was still wrong and I

but something was still wrong and I could have put my finger on it I just

could have put my finger on it I just

could have put my finger on it I just couldn’t take the plunge I couldn’t fake

couldn’t take the plunge I couldn’t fake

couldn’t take the plunge I couldn’t fake I couldn’t push myself to enter the

I couldn’t push myself to enter the

I couldn’t push myself to enter the system that I spend my entire life

system that I spend my entire life

system that I spend my entire life preparing for I know it’s not because

preparing for I know it’s not because

preparing for I know it’s not because I’m in Millennials it’s not because I’m

I’m in Millennials it’s not because I’m

I’m in Millennials it’s not because I’m lazy it’s actually just because I could

lazy it’s actually just because I could

lazy it’s actually just because I could not picturing myself doing the exact

not picturing myself doing the exact

not picturing myself doing the exact same thing for the next 40 years but why

same thing for the next 40 years but why

same thing for the next 40 years but why would I do instead that’s the only thing

would I do instead that’s the only thing

would I do instead that’s the only thing I’ve been told so I did what a lot of

I’ve been told so I did what a lot of

I’ve been told so I did what a lot of young insecure people would do I just

young insecure people would do I just

young insecure people would do I just ran away I grabbed my passport I moved

ran away I grabbed my passport I moved

ran away I grabbed my passport I moved to London and still not sure what I

to London and still not sure what I

to London and still not sure what I would do I subscribed to university

would do I subscribed to university

would do I subscribed to university again and I studied for two years to do

again and I studied for two years to do

again and I studied for two years to do my conversion course to be a lawyer and

my conversion course to be a lawyer and

my conversion course to be a lawyer and the UK but to nobody’s surprise I was

the UK but to nobody’s surprise I was

the UK but to nobody’s surprise I was still unhappy I was in my early 20s at

still unhappy I was in my early 20s at

still unhappy I was in my early 20s at that stage so I just threw myself into

that stage so I just threw myself into

that stage so I just threw myself into your life of partying I went travelling

your life of partying I went travelling

your life of partying I went travelling all around Europe I was dancing as often

all around Europe I was dancing as often

all around Europe I was dancing as often as I could

as I could

as I could I was drinking myself to delusional

I was drinking myself to delusional

I was drinking myself to delusional happiness everybody seems so happy

happiness everybody seems so happy

happiness everybody seems so happy around me

around me

around me it should seem normal but to tell you

it should seem normal but to tell you

it should seem normal but to tell you the truth I’ve never felt more alone and

the truth I’ve never felt more alone and

the truth I’ve never felt more alone and disconnected and my entire life I needed

disconnected and my entire life I needed

disconnected and my entire life I needed a change of direction

a change of direction

a change of direction ASAP I started working in finance and I

ASAP I started working in finance and I

ASAP I started working in finance and I really liked it but then I learned that

really liked it but then I learned that

really liked it but then I learned that sometimes it’s not the decisions that

sometimes it’s not the decisions that

sometimes it’s not the decisions that you make that has the biggest impact on

you make that has the biggest impact on

you make that has the biggest impact on your life I met this guy named Eduardo

your life I met this guy named Eduardo

your life I met this guy named Eduardo and he taught me about this weird sport

and he taught me about this weird sport

and he taught me about this weird sport and I’ve never heard of before and it

and I’ve never heard of before and it

and I’ve never heard of before and it was called spearfishing

was called spearfishing

was called spearfishing so I’ve never pictured myself as an

so I’ve never pictured myself as an

so I’ve never pictured myself as an outdoorsy door as I never pictured

outdoorsy door as I never pictured

outdoorsy door as I never pictured myself an outdoorsy girl not in a

myself an outdoorsy girl not in a

myself an outdoorsy girl not in a million years but here I was ditching

million years but here I was ditching

million years but here I was ditching partying in Ibiza to go in Africa to

partying in Ibiza to go in Africa to

partying in Ibiza to go in Africa to live in the most basic conditions to

live in the most basic conditions to

live in the most basic conditions to catch my own food and share it with my

catch my own food and share it with my

catch my own food and share it with my friends and the local community and this

friends and the local community and this

friends and the local community and this was a world that I never imagined I

was a world that I never imagined I

was a world that I never imagined I would find my true calling in life

would find my true calling in life

would find my true calling in life definitely not so I was all of a sudden

definitely not so I was all of a sudden

definitely not so I was all of a sudden discovering a world where I was eating

discovering a world where I was eating

discovering a world where I was eating the best food I ever had in my life it

the best food I ever had in my life it

the best food I ever had in my life it was one where I was pushing my body to

was one where I was pushing my body to

was one where I was pushing my body to new limits that I’d never even knew

new limits that I’d never even knew

new limits that I’d never even knew existed it’s a world where I was sharing

existed it’s a world where I was sharing

existed it’s a world where I was sharing and living in helping different

and living in helping different

and living in helping different communities all around the world and

communities all around the world and

communities all around the world and it’s also one where mycological

it’s also one where mycological

it’s also one where mycological footprint was as its minimum and it’s

footprint was as its minimum and it’s

footprint was as its minimum and it’s also a world that I never thought was

also a world that I never thought was

also a world that I never thought was accessible to me especially considering

accessible to me especially considering

accessible to me especially considering how scared I was of the ocean especially

how scared I was of the ocean especially

how scared I was of the ocean especially after my accident when I was younger so

after my accident when I was younger so

after my accident when I was younger so when I was 28 years old I just decided

when I was 28 years old I just decided

when I was 28 years old I just decided to go all-in i woman’d up and left my

to go all-in i woman’d up and left my

to go all-in i woman’d up and left my job I sold most of the things I had and

job I sold most of the things I had and

job I sold most of the things I had and I went spitting and of course I don’t

I went spitting and of course I don’t

I went spitting and of course I don’t have the stability of a full-time job

have the stability of a full-time job

have the stability of a full-time job but I’m a very decent money by doing

but I’m a very decent money by doing

but I’m a very decent money by doing something that I love I hosted a TV show

something that I love I hosted a TV show

something that I love I hosted a TV show last year I take people fishing and I’m

last year I take people fishing and I’m

last year I take people fishing and I’m just loving it and the ocean that was my

just loving it and the ocean that was my

just loving it and the ocean that was my biggest fear

biggest fear

biggest fear became my home and yes this is scary and

became my home and yes this is scary and

became my home and yes this is scary and they shouldn’t play sometimes and yes

they shouldn’t play sometimes and yes

they shouldn’t play sometimes and yes sometimes I do put my life on the line

sometimes I do put my life on the line

sometimes I do put my life on the line but I felt that facing an entire life of

but I felt that facing an entire life of

but I felt that facing an entire life of unhappiness would have been way more

unhappiness would have been way more

unhappiness would have been way more dangerous for me so you don’t really

dangerous for me so you don’t really

dangerous for me so you don’t really find out who you truly are and how to

find out who you truly are and how to

find out who you truly are and how to become a better person by staying inside

become a better person by staying inside

become a better person by staying inside of your comfort zone and it’s by putting

of your comfort zone and it’s by putting

of your comfort zone and it’s by putting myself and the least comfortable

myself and the least comfortable

myself and the least comfortable position that I manage to find it

position that I manage to find it

position that I manage to find it through milling in my life so here I was

through milling in my life so here I was

through milling in my life so here I was miles away from the miles away from the

miles away from the miles away from the

miles away from the miles away from the coastline of Florida I was holding this

coastline of Florida I was holding this

coastline of Florida I was holding this little fish on the water facing an 8

little fish on the water facing an 8

little fish on the water facing an 8 foot tiger shark I keep poking it

foot tiger shark I keep poking it

foot tiger shark I keep poking it normally that makes them go away and I

normally that makes them go away and I

normally that makes them go away and I was trying to make I was trying to

was trying to make I was trying to

was trying to make I was trying to remain calm as the shark was getting

remain calm as the shark was getting

remain calm as the shark was getting more and more aggressive

more and more aggressive

more and more aggressive he had his mouth open I could see steep

he had his mouth open I could see steep

he had his mouth open I could see steep he was rolling his eyes back

he was rolling his eyes back

he was rolling his eyes back I knew at that moment that the shark

I knew at that moment that the shark

I knew at that moment that the shark could have killed me at any second but I

could have killed me at any second but I

could have killed me at any second but I stood my ground I kept staring at it and

stood my ground I kept staring at it and

stood my ground I kept staring at it and I kept poking it away and at some point

I kept poking it away and at some point

I kept poking it away and at some point they like turn around and swam away and

they like turn around and swam away and

they like turn around and swam away and this is what I want to share with you

this is what I want to share with you

this is what I want to share with you today is when you’re facing your own

today is when you’re facing your own

today is when you’re facing your own shark you’re gonna be surprised about

shark you’re gonna be surprised about

shark you’re gonna be surprised about how strong you are you’re gonna be

how strong you are you’re gonna be

how strong you are you’re gonna be surprised about the person you actually

surprised about the person you actually

surprised about the person you actually are and just keep poking it and you’re

are and just keep poking it and you’re

are and just keep poking it and you’re gonna see you are gonna be able to

gonna see you are gonna be able to

gonna see you are gonna be able to confront your deepest fear by doing that

confront your deepest fear by doing that

confront your deepest fear by doing that thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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