[Applause] tell your story change the conversation
tell your story change the conversation
tell your story change the conversation colonized by students TEDx youth at shc
colonized by students TEDx youth at shc
colonized by students TEDx youth at shc when I was younger my mom told me that
when I was younger my mom told me that
when I was younger my mom told me that if I ever found someone that I clicked
if I ever found someone that I clicked
if I ever found someone that I clicked with someone I could trust
with someone I could trust
with someone I could trust someone who would always be there for me
someone who would always be there for me
someone who would always be there for me I should hold on to them and never let
I should hold on to them and never let
I should hold on to them and never let them go and when I got older my parents
them go and when I got older my parents
them go and when I got older my parents told me that when I went to high school
told me that when I went to high school
told me that when I went to high school and none of my grade school friends went
and none of my grade school friends went
and none of my grade school friends went with me I should hold on to them cuz
with me I should hold on to them cuz
with me I should hold on to them cuz they’ll be friends
they’ll be friends
they’ll be friends I would keep for life but what if I did
I would keep for life but what if I did
I would keep for life but what if I did let them go or what if I let something
let them go or what if I let something
let them go or what if I let something get in the way since the day Alex and I
get in the way since the day Alex and I
get in the way since the day Alex and I met in kindergarten everyone expected
met in kindergarten everyone expected
met in kindergarten everyone expected something of us we went to a small
something of us we went to a small
something of us we went to a small school with about 60 kids in a grade so
school with about 60 kids in a grade so
school with about 60 kids in a grade so we knew each other pretty well however
we knew each other pretty well however
we knew each other pretty well however it wasn’t until the second grade when we
it wasn’t until the second grade when we
it wasn’t until the second grade when we became best friends and from then on
became best friends and from then on
became best friends and from then on everyone expected us to date or at least
everyone expected us to date or at least
everyone expected us to date or at least like each other parents did teachers did
like each other parents did teachers did
like each other parents did teachers did too I once had a teacher pull me aside
too I once had a teacher pull me aside
too I once had a teacher pull me aside after recess and asked if I had a crush
after recess and asked if I had a crush
after recess and asked if I had a crush on her hey don’t get me started on our
on her hey don’t get me started on our
on her hey don’t get me started on our classmates and friends my basketball
classmates and friends my basketball
classmates and friends my basketball teammates used to constantly asked me if
teammates used to constantly asked me if
teammates used to constantly asked me if I’d Akash on Alex and when girls started
I’d Akash on Alex and when girls started
I’d Akash on Alex and when girls started becoming a big deal because of hormones
becoming a big deal because of hormones
becoming a big deal because of hormones whatnot guys would drill me about em and
whatnot guys would drill me about em and
whatnot guys would drill me about em and that weirded us both out cuz we always
that weirded us both out cuz we always
that weirded us both out cuz we always saw ourselves just as friends and
saw ourselves just as friends and
saw ourselves just as friends and nothing more but they got the better of
nothing more but they got the better of
nothing more but they got the better of us everyone constantly reassuring me oh
us everyone constantly reassuring me oh
us everyone constantly reassuring me oh you love Alexander you just can’t see it
you love Alexander you just can’t see it
you love Alexander you just can’t see it yet or you’re perfect for each other
yet or you’re perfect for each other
yet or you’re perfect for each other just let Cupid do his thing made me
just let Cupid do his thing made me
just let Cupid do his thing made me actually believe I had a crush on this
actually believe I had a crush on this
actually believe I had a crush on this loser
no offense none taken
no offense none taken loser but I too began to feel like I
loser but I too began to feel like I
loser but I too began to feel like I liked em around the fifth grade we
liked em around the fifth grade we
liked em around the fifth grade we finally had enough and decided maybe we
finally had enough and decided maybe we
finally had enough and decided maybe we should date and it all began with a
should date and it all began with a
should date and it all began with a flirty conversation and it wasn’t what
flirty conversation and it wasn’t what
flirty conversation and it wasn’t what you might call a smooth conversation
you might call a smooth conversation
you might call a smooth conversation because we were only in the eighth grade
because we were only in the eighth grade
because we were only in the eighth grade at the time remember how that went
at the time remember how that went
at the time remember how that went how can I forget it was the most awkward
how can I forget it was the most awkward
how can I forget it was the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had you’ve done
conversation I’ve ever had you’ve done
conversation I’ve ever had you’ve done so much worse hey Alex
so much worse hey Alex
so much worse hey Alex uh-huh yeah I have a crush on someone
uh-huh yeah I have a crush on someone
uh-huh yeah I have a crush on someone guess who um I don’t know him
guess who um I don’t know him
guess who um I don’t know him well he’s tall wears glasses and he’s
well he’s tall wears glasses and he’s
well he’s tall wears glasses and he’s standing right next to me oh oh yeah
standing right next to me oh oh yeah
standing right next to me oh oh yeah well uh huh
well uh huh
well uh huh the feeling’s mutual we’re gonna spare
the feeling’s mutual we’re gonna spare
the feeling’s mutual we’re gonna spare you guys the details on the rest of our
you guys the details on the rest of our
you guys the details on the rest of our conversation cuz it just gets worse from
conversation cuz it just gets worse from
conversation cuz it just gets worse from there but in short and when I quickly
there but in short and when I quickly
there but in short and when I quickly became the coolest couple on campus
became the coolest couple on campus
became the coolest couple on campus which was pretty easy because we’re the
which was pretty easy because we’re the
which was pretty easy because we’re the only couple on campus and that is when
only couple on campus and that is when
only couple on campus and that is when things started going south you see
things started going south you see
things started going south you see unfortunately for us the coolest couple
unfortunately for us the coolest couple
unfortunately for us the coolest couple on campus was coincidentally the most
on campus was coincidentally the most
on campus was coincidentally the most Awkward couple on campus I’m what people
Awkward couple on campus I’m what people
Awkward couple on campus I’m what people would call socially inept and Alex isn’t
would call socially inept and Alex isn’t
would call socially inept and Alex isn’t exactly the smoothest guy out there
exactly the smoothest guy out there
exactly the smoothest guy out there either I didn’t look at the way of
either I didn’t look at the way of
either I didn’t look at the way of standing okay
standing okay
standing okay to be honest I don’t exactly know how to
to be honest I don’t exactly know how to
to be honest I don’t exactly know how to stand up here but back to us yeah we
stand up here but back to us yeah we
stand up here but back to us yeah we went on a few dates and they were
went on a few dates and they were
went on a few dates and they were actually pretty okay
actually pretty okay
actually pretty okay like we had when we had a picnic at our
like we had when we had a picnic at our
like we had when we had a picnic at our favorite spot or got lost on Muni and
favorite spot or got lost on Muni and
favorite spot or got lost on Muni and bound up at Baker beach but I think the
bound up at Baker beach but I think the
bound up at Baker beach but I think the first time I realized this was not gonna
first time I realized this was not gonna
first time I realized this was not gonna work out
work out
work out was at our eighth grade dance we were
was at our eighth grade dance we were
was at our eighth grade dance we were excited we the most experienced couple
excited we the most experienced couple
excited we the most experienced couple in the entire grade would finally show
in the entire grade would finally show
in the entire grade would finally show ourselves off to our peers but in
ourselves off to our peers but in
ourselves off to our peers but in retrospect we really should have seen it
retrospect we really should have seen it
retrospect we really should have seen it coming as soon as we stepped onto the
coming as soon as we stepped onto the
coming as soon as we stepped onto the dance floor everyone came up to us and
dance floor everyone came up to us and
dance floor everyone came up to us and took pictures of us like we were some
took pictures of us like we were some
took pictures of us like we were some kind of museum exhibit and to some
kind of museum exhibit and to some
kind of museum exhibit and to some extent yeah I guess we should have liked
extent yeah I guess we should have liked
extent yeah I guess we should have liked that attention but something didn’t
that attention but something didn’t
that attention but something didn’t click but by far the worst moment of the
click but by far the worst moment of the
click but by far the worst moment of the entire evening was when my friends
entire evening was when my friends
entire evening was when my friends dragged me into the middle the dance
dragged me into the middle the dance
dragged me into the middle the dance floor and my friends shoved me into it
floor and my friends shoved me into it
floor and my friends shoved me into it and all 58 of our classmates surrounded
and all 58 of our classmates surrounded
and all 58 of our classmates surrounded us singing Emily and Alex sitting in a
us singing Emily and Alex sitting in a
us singing Emily and Alex sitting in a tree
tree
tree is s ing and it was at that moment that
is s ing and it was at that moment that
is s ing and it was at that moment that I didn’t feel like ends boyfriend
I didn’t feel like ends boyfriend
I didn’t feel like ends boyfriend anymore I felt more like some kind of
anymore I felt more like some kind of
anymore I felt more like some kind of prey shot by predators ready to tear me
prey shot by predators ready to tear me
prey shot by predators ready to tear me or us apart I tried to break my way out
or us apart I tried to break my way out
or us apart I tried to break my way out of the circle but they just pushed me
of the circle but they just pushed me
of the circle but they just pushed me back in there singing got louder my
back in there singing got louder my
back in there singing got louder my anxiety skyrocketed and I felt as if I
anxiety skyrocketed and I felt as if I
anxiety skyrocketed and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and you know how I
couldn’t breathe and you know how I
couldn’t breathe and you know how I finally got out I grabbed em by the arm
finally got out I grabbed em by the arm
finally got out I grabbed em by the arm swung her like a hammer at the wall
swung her like a hammer at the wall
swung her like a hammer at the wall people and jumped free so there we were
people and jumped free so there we were
people and jumped free so there we were the coolest couple on campus hiding in
the coolest couple on campus hiding in
the coolest couple on campus hiding in the back of the dance hall awkwardly
the back of the dance hall awkwardly
the back of the dance hall awkwardly dancing with each other and trying not
dancing with each other and trying not
dancing with each other and trying not to let that traumatic experience ruin
to let that traumatic experience ruin
to let that traumatic experience ruin the rest of our evening together however
the rest of our evening together however
the rest of our evening together however it didn’t help that after the dance
it didn’t help that after the dance
it didn’t help that after the dance teachers began to interrogate us on
teachers began to interrogate us on
teachers began to interrogate us on exactly what we did back there
exactly what we did back there
exactly what we did back there but please em you and that dress sorry I
but please em you and that dress sorry I
but please em you and that dress sorry I remember exactly what you were she wore
remember exactly what you were she wore
remember exactly what you were she wore black and purple stripes why did you
black and purple stripes why did you
black and purple stripes why did you just ask me for help okay it was 2014
just ask me for help okay it was 2014
just ask me for help okay it was 2014 Alexander no one knew anything about
Alexander no one knew anything about
Alexander no one knew anything about fashion
fashion
fashion you look like an optical illusion
despite my horrendous fashion choice
despite my horrendous fashion choice choices plural
choice is something still didn’t feel
choice is something still didn’t feel right I thought I’d enjoy the attention
right I thought I’d enjoy the attention
right I thought I’d enjoy the attention I thought I’d have my fairytale moment
I thought I’d have my fairytale moment
I thought I’d have my fairytale moment with my prince charming though you’re
with my prince charming though you’re
with my prince charming though you’re not exactly what I’d call charming oh
not exactly what I’d call charming oh
not exactly what I’d call charming oh please
please
please but I too thought Oh like the spotlight
but I too thought Oh like the spotlight
but I too thought Oh like the spotlight I mean it sounded great really fun
I mean it sounded great really fun
I mean it sounded great really fun actually cuz everyone loved us but all
actually cuz everyone loved us but all
actually cuz everyone loved us but all the spotlight did was shine a light on
the spotlight did was shine a light on
the spotlight did was shine a light on the reality I wasn’t ready to confront
the reality I wasn’t ready to confront
the reality I wasn’t ready to confront but you know what despite all these
but you know what despite all these
but you know what despite all these warnings to stop Alex and I continued to
warnings to stop Alex and I continued to
warnings to stop Alex and I continued to date maybe it was because we were afraid
date maybe it was because we were afraid
date maybe it was because we were afraid to disappoint everyone how heartbroken
to disappoint everyone how heartbroken
to disappoint everyone how heartbroken would everyone be if the coolest couple
would everyone be if the coolest couple
would everyone be if the coolest couple on campus broke up or maybe we were too
on campus broke up or maybe we were too
on campus broke up or maybe we were too afraid to lose each other but that’s
afraid to lose each other but that’s
afraid to lose each other but that’s exactly what started to happen and when
exactly what started to happen and when
exactly what started to happen and when I started treating each other more as
I started treating each other more as
I started treating each other more as significant others and less as friends
significant others and less as friends
significant others and less as friends and this became most obvious in of all
and this became most obvious in of all
and this became most obvious in of all places our texts what it used to be
places our texts what it used to be
places our texts what it used to be fully conversations about our passions
fully conversations about our passions
fully conversations about our passions and aspirations turn into few worded
and aspirations turn into few worded
and aspirations turn into few worded text every day hey hey have a great day
text every day hey hey have a great day
text every day hey hey have a great day thanks you too love you love you too
thanks you too love you love you too
thanks you too love you love you too night good night love you love you too
night good night love you love you too
night good night love you love you too and that was it some cycle that would
and that was it some cycle that would
and that was it some cycle that would repeat for months on end and it became
repeat for months on end and it became
repeat for months on end and it became clearer to both of us that we were
clearer to both of us that we were
clearer to both of us that we were losing not only the passion for the
losing not only the passion for the
losing not only the passion for the relationship but for each other and
relationship but for each other and
relationship but for each other and eventually as is continued we found that
eventually as is continued we found that
eventually as is continued we found that enough was enough
enough was enough
enough was enough On January 24th 2015 a year and ten days
On January 24th 2015 a year and ten days
On January 24th 2015 a year and ten days after we broke up we broke up sorry I
after we broke up we broke up sorry I
after we broke up we broke up sorry I meant to say a year in ten days after we
meant to say a year in ten days after we
meant to say a year in ten days after we started these memories it fuzzy
started these memories it fuzzy
started these memories it fuzzy I lost my best friend in the entire
I lost my best friend in the entire
I lost my best friend in the entire world
world
world I finally found someone I clicked with
I finally found someone I clicked with
I finally found someone I clicked with someone I could trust
someone I could trust
someone I could trust someone who would always be there for me
someone who would always be there for me
someone who would always be there for me and I let him go and I let something get
and I let him go and I let something get
and I let him go and I let something get in the way we used to always talk to and
in the way we used to always talk to and
in the way we used to always talk to and confide in each other
confide in each other
confide in each other but now we were silent for months and I
but now we were silent for months and I
but now we were silent for months and I didn’t know how to make it better to
didn’t know how to make it better to
didn’t know how to make it better to this day I’m not sure how Alex and I got
this day I’m not sure how Alex and I got
this day I’m not sure how Alex and I got back on track maybe it was our mutual
back on track maybe it was our mutual
back on track maybe it was our mutual friends or maybe it was her history
friends or maybe it was her history
friends or maybe it was her history personally I think it’s cuz we started
personally I think it’s cuz we started
personally I think it’s cuz we started having a ton of personal problems high
having a ton of personal problems high
having a ton of personal problems high schoolers and we just wanted to read to
schoolers and we just wanted to read to
schoolers and we just wanted to read to each other again what shocked me most
each other again what shocked me most
each other again what shocked me most was after months of not speaking to each
was after months of not speaking to each
was after months of not speaking to each other it didn’t take us very long to get
other it didn’t take us very long to get
other it didn’t take us very long to get back on track don’t get me wrong we
back on track don’t get me wrong we
back on track don’t get me wrong we worked hard to fix us we talked through
worked hard to fix us we talked through
worked hard to fix us we talked through our problems inside and outside of our
our problems inside and outside of our
our problems inside and outside of our relationship but to be completely honest
relationship but to be completely honest
relationship but to be completely honest with you I think we just found something
with you I think we just found something
with you I think we just found something deep within ourselves that convinced us
deep within ourselves that convinced us
deep within ourselves that convinced us this was never gonna happen again
this was never gonna happen again
this was never gonna happen again and after we got past all that things
and after we got past all that things
and after we got past all that things started becoming normal again
started becoming normal again
started becoming normal again so normal in fact we started to treat
so normal in fact we started to treat
so normal in fact we started to treat our relationship like a joke a funny
our relationship like a joke a funny
our relationship like a joke a funny messed-up joke Alex and I decided to
messed-up joke Alex and I decided to
messed-up joke Alex and I decided to turn heartbreak into happiness every
turn heartbreak into happiness every
turn heartbreak into happiness every year on the anniversary of her breakup
year on the anniversary of her breakup
year on the anniversary of her breakup Alex and I instead celebrate our
Alex and I instead celebrate our
Alex and I instead celebrate our friendship by recreating old dates and
friendship by recreating old dates and
friendship by recreating old dates and every January 24th we text each other
every January 24th we text each other
every January 24th we text each other happy breakup day let’s never date again
happy breakup day let’s never date again
happy breakup day let’s never date again I agree this year and when I celebrate
I agree this year and when I celebrate
I agree this year and when I celebrate 10 years of friendship that’s right
10 years of friendship that’s right
10 years of friendship that’s right after a horrendous relationship and
after a horrendous relationship and
after a horrendous relationship and horrendous breakup we managed to
horrendous breakup we managed to
horrendous breakup we managed to revitalize our friendship and if
revitalize our friendship and if
revitalize our friendship and if anything we made it stronger were
anything we made it stronger were
anything we made it stronger were practically family now time of parting
practically family now time of parting
practically family now time of parting away from Alex made me realize how
away from Alex made me realize how
away from Alex made me realize how important he is to me how lucky I am to
important he is to me how lucky I am to
important he is to me how lucky I am to have him in my life yeah and as much as
have him in my life yeah and as much as
have him in my life yeah and as much as I love to brag on em for her height her
I love to brag on em for her height her
I love to brag on em for her height her personality her singing her dancing
personality her singing her dancing
personality her singing her dancing that’s about as stiff as a wooden board
that’s about as stiff as a wooden board
that’s about as stiff as a wooden board her messy room she hasn’t cleaned in
her messy room she hasn’t cleaned in
her messy room she hasn’t cleaned in what five years and her mullet Olsen
what five years and her mullet Olsen
what five years and her mullet Olsen tall you know what Alexander
tall you know what Alexander
tall you know what Alexander maybe ten years of friendship is enough
maybe ten years of friendship is enough
maybe ten years of friendship is enough for us and her constant interruptions
for us and her constant interruptions
for us and her constant interruptions she’s still a wonderful person who has
she’s still a wonderful person who has
she’s still a wonderful person who has helped shaped me into Who I am today
helped shaped me into Who I am today
helped shaped me into Who I am today looking back we really shouldn’t have
looking back we really shouldn’t have
looking back we really shouldn’t have dated but to be completely honest with
dated but to be completely honest with
dated but to be completely honest with you I don’t regret a single moment we
you I don’t regret a single moment we
you I don’t regret a single moment we learned firsthand what was really
learned firsthand what was really
learned firsthand what was really important to us so who cared if the
important to us so who cared if the
important to us so who cared if the coolest couple on campus didn’t get
coolest couple on campus didn’t get
coolest couple on campus didn’t get married all the we cared about is we
married all the we cared about is we
married all the we cared about is we didn’t let Sun break up separate us
didn’t let Sun break up separate us
didn’t let Sun break up separate us forever when I was younger my mom told
forever when I was younger my mom told
forever when I was younger my mom told me that if I found someone I clicked
me that if I found someone I clicked
me that if I found someone I clicked with some I could trust someone who’d
with some I could trust someone who’d
with some I could trust someone who’d always be there for me I should hold on
always be there for me I should hold on
always be there for me I should hold on to them and never let them go and when I
to them and never let them go and when I
to them and never let them go and when I got older my parents told me that when I
got older my parents told me that when I
got older my parents told me that when I went to high school and none of my grade
went to high school and none of my grade
went to high school and none of my grade school friends went with me I should
school friends went with me I should
school friends went with me I should still keep in touch with them cuz
still keep in touch with them cuz
still keep in touch with them cuz they’ll be friends I’d keep for life and
they’ll be friends I’d keep for life and
they’ll be friends I’d keep for life and I promised myself even if things got
I promised myself even if things got
I promised myself even if things got rough I would do anything and everything
rough I would do anything and everything
rough I would do anything and everything to hold on to that someone special so to
to hold on to that someone special so to
to hold on to that someone special so to date or not to date that might be the
date or not to date that might be the
date or not to date that might be the question but to lose someone that you
question but to lose someone that you
question but to lose someone that you really love or to hold on to a friend
really love or to hold on to a friend
really love or to hold on to a friend for life that is not one happy 10 years
for life that is not one happy 10 years
for life that is not one happy 10 years in it’s been great and here’s to many
in it’s been great and here’s to many
in it’s been great and here’s to many more thank you
more thank you
more thank you [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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