my name is dr. Andrea DiNardo I’m a college professor and a school
college professor and a school
college professor and a school psychologist I have a particular
psychologist I have a particular
psychologist I have a particular interest in helping students thrive
interest in helping students thrive
interest in helping students thrive under pressure I help them focus on
under pressure I help them focus on
under pressure I help them focus on what’s right when everything feels like
what’s right when everything feels like
what’s right when everything feels like it’s going wrong I have this unique
it’s going wrong I have this unique
it’s going wrong I have this unique ability when I meet someone it’s like
ability when I meet someone it’s like
ability when I meet someone it’s like they shine and I see their strengths but
they shine and I see their strengths but
they shine and I see their strengths but so often they don’t see them so that’s
so often they don’t see them so that’s
so often they don’t see them so that’s where I come in I help them realize that
where I come in I help them realize that
where I come in I help them realize that we’re like palm trees and that we’re
we’re like palm trees and that we’re
we’re like palm trees and that we’re strengthened by storms that our roots
strengthened by storms that our roots
strengthened by storms that our roots become stronger in hurricanes and you
become stronger in hurricanes and you
become stronger in hurricanes and you might not realize that but resilience is
might not realize that but resilience is
might not realize that but resilience is a Latin term for leap back and we only
a Latin term for leap back and we only
a Latin term for leap back and we only need to look to nature for an example of
need to look to nature for an example of
need to look to nature for an example of how bending and flexing in stress will
how bending and flexing in stress will
how bending and flexing in stress will make all the difference in terms of
make all the difference in terms of
make all the difference in terms of whether we snap like oak trees or bent
whether we snap like oak trees or bent
whether we snap like oak trees or bent like palm trees and that’s the paradox
like palm trees and that’s the paradox
like palm trees and that’s the paradox of strength we can’t get rid of
of strength we can’t get rid of
of strength we can’t get rid of challenge we don’t want to get wit rid
challenge we don’t want to get wit rid
challenge we don’t want to get wit rid of adversity and we certainly don’t want
of adversity and we certainly don’t want
of adversity and we certainly don’t want to get rid of stress but what we need is
to get rid of stress but what we need is
to get rid of stress but what we need is a map for navigating from stress
a map for navigating from stress
a map for navigating from stress distress because life is a journey
distress because life is a journey
distress because life is a journey whether it be a 24 hour journey or a
whether it be a 24 hour journey or a
whether it be a 24 hour journey or a hundred years we’re always moving in and
hundred years we’re always moving in and
hundred years we’re always moving in and out of stress and we’re looking for
out of stress and we’re looking for
out of stress and we’re looking for markers along the way sometimes I’m that
markers along the way sometimes I’m that
markers along the way sometimes I’m that marker that helps my students thrive
marker that helps my students thrive
marker that helps my students thrive under pressure and sometimes you’re the
under pressure and sometimes you’re the
under pressure and sometimes you’re the marker for your brother or sister either
marker for your brother or sister either
marker for your brother or sister either way
way
way this room is filled with role models and
this room is filled with role models and
this room is filled with role models and we’ve all been through the same stresses
we’ve all been through the same stresses
we’ve all been through the same stresses and adversity by just another name
and adversity by just another name
and adversity by just another name challenge
challenge
challenge speaking of challenge what makes the
speaking of challenge what makes the
speaking of challenge what makes the difference between thrivers and non
difference between thrivers and non
difference between thrivers and non thrivers is how they perceive challenge
thrivers is how they perceive challenge
thrivers is how they perceive challenge put your hand up if you’ve experienced a
put your hand up if you’ve experienced a
put your hand up if you’ve experienced a challenge already today
challenge already today
challenge already today most excellent because this talk is all
most excellent because this talk is all
most excellent because this talk is all about you and I’m going to help show you
about you and I’m going to help show you
about you and I’m going to help show you how challenge is your opportunity so
how challenge is your opportunity so
how challenge is your opportunity so you’re driving down the highway of life
you’re driving down the highway of life
you’re driving down the highway of life and you have an idea where you’re going
and you have an idea where you’re going
and you have an idea where you’re going on the 401 and then you hit a sign that
on the 401 and then you hit a sign that
on the 401 and then you hit a sign that says wrong way that wrong way could be
says wrong way that wrong way could be
says wrong way that wrong way could be that relationship that just ended that
that relationship that just ended that
that relationship that just ended that fairly mark on an exam or even more
fairly mark on an exam or even more
fairly mark on an exam or even more unfortunate some kind of health scare no
unfortunate some kind of health scare no
unfortunate some kind of health scare no matter what in that challenge buried
matter what in that challenge buried
matter what in that challenge buried deep in that challenge is some kind of
deep in that challenge is some kind of
deep in that challenge is some kind of lesson for you the kind of lesson that
lesson for you the kind of lesson that
lesson for you the kind of lesson that once you’ve learned it you’ll take a
once you’ve learned it you’ll take a
once you’ve learned it you’ll take a different Road instead of 401 maybe
different Road instead of 401 maybe
different Road instead of 401 maybe you’ll take Highway three whatever it is
you’ll take Highway three whatever it is
you’ll take Highway three whatever it is so for example if the challenge is a
so for example if the challenge is a
so for example if the challenge is a mark on an exam maybe a series of mark
mark on an exam maybe a series of mark
mark on an exam maybe a series of mark so you don’t do well the lesson might be
so you don’t do well the lesson might be
so you don’t do well the lesson might be that this program is not for you or when
that this program is not for you or when
that this program is not for you or when you start to get a little more honest
you start to get a little more honest
you start to get a little more honest with yourself maybe you just didn’t
with yourself maybe you just didn’t
with yourself maybe you just didn’t study for those tests either way you
study for those tests either way you
study for those tests either way you might learn about perseverance
might learn about perseverance
might learn about perseverance determination and my biggest strength is
determination and my biggest strength is
determination and my biggest strength is hope belief optimism that no matter what
hope belief optimism that no matter what
hope belief optimism that no matter what I do
I do
I do somehow I’ll make it through because
somehow I’ll make it through because
somehow I’ll make it through because this journey isn’t just one day and it
this journey isn’t just one day and it
this journey isn’t just one day and it might be a four-year degree in
might be a four-year degree in
might be a four-year degree in collaborative nursing or a degree in
collaborative nursing or a degree in
collaborative nursing or a degree in biology or media or whatever it is it’s
biology or media or whatever it is it’s
biology or media or whatever it is it’s not just one day it’s long and if you
not just one day it’s long and if you
not just one day it’s long and if you want to jump out if you want to leap out
want to jump out if you want to leap out
want to jump out if you want to leap out of your comfort zone you better get
of your comfort zone you better get
of your comfort zone you better get comfortable and if you’re anything like
comfortable and if you’re anything like
comfortable and if you’re anything like me when I get home at the end of the day
me when I get home at the end of the day
me when I get home at the end of the day I put my play clothes on I don’t study
I put my play clothes on I don’t study
I put my play clothes on I don’t study in a tuxedo I get relaxed or maybe you
in a tuxedo I get relaxed or maybe you
in a tuxedo I get relaxed or maybe you need to gear up for that fight because
need to gear up for that fight because
need to gear up for that fight because it is that big whatever it is surround
it is that big whatever it is surround
it is that big whatever it is surround yourself with like-minded people that
yourself with like-minded people that
yourself with like-minded people that support you that might need to carry you
support you that might need to carry you
support you that might need to carry you through some of those challenges and
through some of those challenges and
through some of those challenges and you’ll realize it’s an opportunity worth
you’ll realize it’s an opportunity worth
you’ll realize it’s an opportunity worth fighting for and you’re not alone you’re
fighting for and you’re not alone you’re
fighting for and you’re not alone you’re definitely not alone the next thing is
definitely not alone the next thing is
definitely not alone the next thing is control and if you’re anything like me I
control and if you’re anything like me I
control and if you’re anything like me I like to be in charge but we’re rarely in
like to be in charge but we’re rarely in
like to be in charge but we’re rarely in charge
charge
charge and what makes the difference between a
and what makes the difference between a
and what makes the difference between a thriver and another thriver
thriver and another thriver
thriver and another thriver is this balance between holding on and
is this balance between holding on and
is this balance between holding on and letting go but hand up if you had a
letting go but hand up if you had a
letting go but hand up if you had a parking issue since you started at the
parking issue since you started at the
parking issue since you started at the University of Windsor anybody you might
University of Windsor anybody you might
University of Windsor anybody you might have shared that with somebody take the
have shared that with somebody take the
have shared that with somebody take the bus walk to school share ride how long
bus walk to school share ride how long
bus walk to school share ride how long are you going to go on about the fact
are you going to go on about the fact
are you going to go on about the fact that you have no control over the
that you have no control over the
that you have no control over the parking issue and save that energy for
parking issue and save that energy for
parking issue and save that energy for something else you can’t control the
something else you can’t control the
something else you can’t control the parking but you certainly can control
parking but you certainly can control
parking but you certainly can control how you arrive what we need at that
how you arrive what we need at that
how you arrive what we need at that point what I need at this point is a bit
point what I need at this point is a bit
point what I need at this point is a bit of breathing space because we think when
of breathing space because we think when
of breathing space because we think when we hit the no parking zone
we hit the no parking zone
we hit the no parking zone the class that we don’t like the fact
the class that we don’t like the fact
the class that we don’t like the fact that we can’t find a mate that we need
that we can’t find a mate that we need
that we can’t find a mate that we need to dive deeper into the problem but what
to dive deeper into the problem but what
to dive deeper into the problem but what we need to do is we need to take some
we need to do is we need to take some
we need to do is we need to take some breathing space and it’s physiological
breathing space and it’s physiological
breathing space and it’s physiological because our brain when it’s faced with
because our brain when it’s faced with
because our brain when it’s faced with any kind of threat and that’s why we
any kind of threat and that’s why we
any kind of threat and that’s why we want to reduce the threat it goes into
want to reduce the threat it goes into
want to reduce the threat it goes into the animal zone our amygdala and it
the animal zone our amygdala and it
the animal zone our amygdala and it prepares for fight-or-flight and then it
prepares for fight-or-flight and then it
prepares for fight-or-flight and then it signals the endocrine system bring me
signals the endocrine system bring me
signals the endocrine system bring me more adrenaline but it’s just a text but
more adrenaline but it’s just a text but
more adrenaline but it’s just a text but you don’t realize it it’s just a phone
you don’t realize it it’s just a phone
you don’t realize it it’s just a phone call you don’t realize that it’s just a
call you don’t realize that it’s just a
call you don’t realize that it’s just a server that doesn’t have the sandwich
server that doesn’t have the sandwich
server that doesn’t have the sandwich that you don’t want but you don’t
that you don’t want but you don’t
that you don’t want but you don’t realize it because when your amygdala
realize it because when your amygdala
realize it because when your amygdala hijack zone you do things that you’re
hijack zone you do things that you’re
hijack zone you do things that you’re not proud of because your body perceives
not proud of because your body perceives
not proud of because your body perceives it as a threat and this is why breathing
it as a threat and this is why breathing
it as a threat and this is why breathing space is so important it’s the one thing
space is so important it’s the one thing
space is so important it’s the one thing you have control of in times of stress I
you have control of in times of stress I
you have control of in times of stress I advise my students in between questions
advise my students in between questions
advise my students in between questions take a long deep breath I’ve yet to meet
take a long deep breath I’ve yet to meet
take a long deep breath I’ve yet to meet 100% of my students finished an exam at
100% of my students finished an exam at
100% of my students finished an exam at the two-hour mark most of them are at
the two-hour mark most of them are at
the two-hour mark most of them are at the hour and 15-minute mark stand in the
the hour and 15-minute mark stand in the
the hour and 15-minute mark stand in the hallway before you take your TED talk
hallway before you take your TED talk
hallway before you take your TED talk take a deep breath and what happens is
take a deep breath and what happens is
take a deep breath and what happens is your body is telling your mind that
your body is telling your mind that
your body is telling your mind that you’re safe and when it’s safe then it
you’re safe and when it’s safe then it
you’re safe and when it’s safe then it goes from the base
goes from the base
goes from the base of your brain which is your limbic
of your brain which is your limbic
of your brain which is your limbic system in your Magdala back up to your
system in your Magdala back up to your
system in your Magdala back up to your prefrontal cortex and oh my god
prefrontal cortex and oh my god
prefrontal cortex and oh my god I’m I’m Stein and this is what happens
I’m I’m Stein and this is what happens
I’m I’m Stein and this is what happens the next day when you look back and you
the next day when you look back and you
the next day when you look back and you reread that email you’re look at your
reread that email you’re look at your
reread that email you’re look at your marks again you look at anything that
marks again you look at anything that
marks again you look at anything that you find distressing you wonder what was
you find distressing you wonder what was
you find distressing you wonder what was a big deal at the time your animal brain
a big deal at the time your animal brain
a big deal at the time your animal brain was saying fight flight or freeze and
was saying fight flight or freeze and
was saying fight flight or freeze and this is another important component of
this is another important component of
this is another important component of control we want to conserve our energy
control we want to conserve our energy
control we want to conserve our energy for what counts we want to manage our
for what counts we want to manage our
for what counts we want to manage our energy not our time because often we
energy not our time because often we
energy not our time because often we don’t have control over our time and one
don’t have control over our time and one
don’t have control over our time and one simple way you can do it back to the
simple way you can do it back to the
simple way you can do it back to the parking and selling you tell me telling
parking and selling you tell me telling
parking and selling you tell me telling your friend for the fifth time the tenth
your friend for the fifth time the tenth
your friend for the fifth time the tenth time the twelfth time that there’s no
time the twelfth time that there’s no
time the twelfth time that there’s no parking on campus you save that energy
parking on campus you save that energy
parking on campus you save that energy and you use it for what matters most
and you use it for what matters most
and you use it for what matters most your relationships time in the classroom
your relationships time in the classroom
your relationships time in the classroom and I have to practice what I preach and
and I have to practice what I preach and
and I have to practice what I preach and I said to my husband two months ago
I said to my husband two months ago
I said to my husband two months ago after I was invited to give this TED
after I was invited to give this TED
after I was invited to give this TED talk if I complain once just once
talk if I complain once just once
talk if I complain once just once because of all the extra work on top of
because of all the extra work on top of
because of all the extra work on top of everything else I do I owe you five
everything else I do I owe you five
everything else I do I owe you five bucks five bucks if you complain a lot
bucks five bucks if you complain a lot
bucks five bucks if you complain a lot that can really add up I’m happy to
that can really add up I’m happy to
that can really add up I’m happy to share I haven’t paid them a penny
share I haven’t paid them a penny
share I haven’t paid them a penny because I realize I enjoy money more
because I realize I enjoy money more
because I realize I enjoy money more than I enjoy complaining so be
than I enjoy complaining so be
than I enjoy complaining so be accountable for your energy use it for
accountable for your energy use it for
accountable for your energy use it for solutions instead of problems take
solutions instead of problems take
solutions instead of problems take responsibility for your life and that’s
responsibility for your life and that’s
responsibility for your life and that’s what control is about see the first
what control is about see the first
what control is about see the first challenge is about opportunity control
challenge is about opportunity control
challenge is about opportunity control is about how you use your influence and
is about how you use your influence and
is about how you use your influence and your final one is really about today
your final one is really about today
your final one is really about today it’s about committing to something so
it’s about committing to something so
it’s about committing to something so much bigger than yourself so much bigger
much bigger than yourself so much bigger
much bigger than yourself so much bigger than yourself and so that when you start
than yourself and so that when you start
than yourself and so that when you start to experience the stressors instead of
to experience the stressors instead of
to experience the stressors instead of looking down on the obvious because I
looking down on the obvious because I
looking down on the obvious because I guarantee 90% of your stressors your
guarantee 90% of your stressors your
guarantee 90% of your stressors your daily hassles are all repeat you look up
daily hassles are all repeat you look up
daily hassles are all repeat you look up to something bigger and I’ll give you a
to something bigger and I’ll give you a
to something bigger and I’ll give you a research study that shows that when you
research study that shows that when you
research study that shows that when you look at commitment which is purpose and
look at commitment which is purpose and
look at commitment which is purpose and something bigger than yourself that you
something bigger than yourself that you
something bigger than yourself that you aren’t less affected by the stress
aren’t less affected by the stress
aren’t less affected by the stress they did research with 6000 University
they did research with 6000 University
they did research with 6000 University of Toronto first-year economics students
of Toronto first-year economics students
of Toronto first-year economics students and when they were interested in
and when they were interested in
and when they were interested in comparing the thrivers and I love it
comparing the thrivers and I love it
comparing the thrivers and I love it what they call the divers and looking at
what they call the divers and looking at
what they call the divers and looking at non-academic measures of success and
non-academic measures of success and
non-academic measures of success and non-academic measures the success is one
non-academic measures the success is one
non-academic measures the success is one of the first things teachers and
of the first things teachers and
of the first things teachers and professors look for in the classroom
professors look for in the classroom
professors look for in the classroom you just know on the first day was going
you just know on the first day was going
you just know on the first day was going to make it apart from everything else
to make it apart from everything else
to make it apart from everything else and what they found is when they
and what they found is when they
and what they found is when they described the reason as to why they were
described the reason as to why they were
described the reason as to why they were getting an economics degree at
getting an economics degree at
getting an economics degree at University of Toronto the divers talked
University of Toronto the divers talked
University of Toronto the divers talked about a very immediate gratification
about a very immediate gratification
about a very immediate gratification rewards about the money about the cars
rewards about the money about the cars
rewards about the money about the cars about the the job they were going to get
about the the job they were going to get
about the the job they were going to get how much they were going to make whereas
how much they were going to make whereas
how much they were going to make whereas the thrivers focused on something bigger
the thrivers focused on something bigger
the thrivers focused on something bigger than themselves their culture their
than themselves their culture their
than themselves their culture their family the community giving back making
family the community giving back making
family the community giving back making their parents proud so when they
their parents proud so when they
their parents proud so when they experienced the stress that all students
experienced the stress that all students
experienced the stress that all students experience they would just say it’s just
experience they would just say it’s just
experience they would just say it’s just part of the walk it’s part of the
part of the walk it’s part of the
part of the walk it’s part of the journey and every day all they needed to
journey and every day all they needed to
journey and every day all they needed to do was to look up to whatever their
do was to look up to whatever their
do was to look up to whatever their North Star was and for me so deep in my
North Star was and for me so deep in my
North Star was and for me so deep in my heart I’ve been working with students
heart I’ve been working with students
heart I’ve been working with students for 20 years now my students are my
for 20 years now my students are my
for 20 years now my students are my reason and every day that I walk into
reason and every day that I walk into
reason and every day that I walk into the classroom I make such a point of
the classroom I make such a point of
the classroom I make such a point of being a part of their future I have the
being a part of their future I have the
being a part of their future I have the opportunity to work with collaborative
opportunity to work with collaborative
opportunity to work with collaborative nursing program and it is a tough
nursing program and it is a tough
nursing program and it is a tough program and they don’t realize it but
program and they don’t realize it but
program and they don’t realize it but they do now I take them through the
they do now I take them through the
they do now I take them through the three C’s of thriving under pressure in
three C’s of thriving under pressure in
three C’s of thriving under pressure in the first 10 minutes of every class and
the first 10 minutes of every class and
the first 10 minutes of every class and so when I teach them I teach them with
so when I teach them I teach them with
so when I teach them I teach them with purpose I know I have an opportunity to
purpose I know I have an opportunity to
purpose I know I have an opportunity to safe every patient they’re gonna save I
safe every patient they’re gonna save I
safe every patient they’re gonna save I know I have an opportunity to insulate
know I have an opportunity to insulate
know I have an opportunity to insulate them against stress I have an
them against stress I have an
them against stress I have an opportunity to help them be successful
opportunity to help them be successful
opportunity to help them be successful in their homes and in their families and
in their homes and in their families and
in their homes and in their families and so when I teach I don’t just teach one
so when I teach I don’t just teach one
so when I teach I don’t just teach one student 10 students I teach the future
student 10 students I teach the future
student 10 students I teach the future of Canada and that’s my North Star and
of Canada and that’s my North Star and
of Canada and that’s my North Star and that’s my commitment because I know
that’s my commitment because I know
that’s my commitment because I know inside each and every one of my students
inside each and every one of my students
inside each and every one of my students inside of each and every one of you
inside of each and every one of you
inside of each and every one of you there’s a diamond waiting to be
there’s a diamond waiting to be
there’s a diamond waiting to be discovered and it’s not about adding
discovered and it’s not about adding
discovered and it’s not about adding things it
things it
things it about taking things away because it’s
about taking things away because it’s
about taking things away because it’s always been there my commitment to you
always been there my commitment to you
always been there my commitment to you and my students is to take everything
and my students is to take everything
and my students is to take everything away that does not shine bright and when
away that does not shine bright and when
away that does not shine bright and when you’re lost because I might be in five
you’re lost because I might be in five
you’re lost because I might be in five minutes and you might be in ten minutes
minutes and you might be in ten minutes
minutes and you might be in ten minutes along the journey because stress happens
along the journey because stress happens
along the journey because stress happens it’s part of life
it’s part of life
it’s part of life we’ve got to look back to the three C’s
we’ve got to look back to the three C’s
we’ve got to look back to the three C’s we have to find control when there is
we have to find control when there is
we have to find control when there is none by taking a long deep breath we
none by taking a long deep breath we
none by taking a long deep breath we have to realize it is a long journey I
have to realize it is a long journey I
have to realize it is a long journey I have like ten pairs of running shoes so
have like ten pairs of running shoes so
have like ten pairs of running shoes so I have to find comfort in the discomfort
I have to find comfort in the discomfort
I have to find comfort in the discomfort as you do too and then finally I have to
as you do too and then finally I have to
as you do too and then finally I have to I knew have to and we all have to look
I knew have to and we all have to look
I knew have to and we all have to look up to the stars instead of looking down
up to the stars instead of looking down
up to the stars instead of looking down because the answer is right in front of
because the answer is right in front of
because the answer is right in front of you and up top together we will thrive
you and up top together we will thrive
you and up top together we will thrive under pressure thank you
under pressure thank you
under pressure thank you [Applause]
”
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