There is always a way to be great again | Adam Braidwood | TEDxRoyalRoadsU

my name is Adam Braidwood I was born on

my name is Adam Braidwood I was born on June 1st 1984 in Richmond British

June 1st 1984 in Richmond British

June 1st 1984 in Richmond British Columbia this talk is about my life the

Columbia this talk is about my life the

Columbia this talk is about my life the things that I’ve been through the

things that I’ve been through the

things that I’ve been through the adversity that I faced times where I’ve

adversity that I faced times where I’ve

adversity that I faced times where I’ve been up and times that I’ve been down

been up and times that I’ve been down

been up and times that I’ve been down the mistakes that I’ve made and how how

the mistakes that I’ve made and how how

the mistakes that I’ve made and how how I crawled out of what was to be my own

I crawled out of what was to be my own

I crawled out of what was to be my own grave and tried to make something of

grave and tried to make something of

grave and tried to make something of myself

myself

myself someday I could be proud of I was a

someday I could be proud of I was a

someday I could be proud of I was a determined little boy I think some of

determined little boy I think some of

determined little boy I think some of that I was just born with some of that

that I was just born with some of that

that I was just born with some of that has to do with things that happen to me

has to do with things that happen to me

has to do with things that happen to me as far back as I can remember I wanted

as far back as I can remember I wanted

as far back as I can remember I wanted to be a professional football player I

to be a professional football player I

to be a professional football player I point to magazines like Sports

point to magazines like Sports

point to magazines like Sports Illustrated when I was walking in the

Illustrated when I was walking in the

Illustrated when I was walking in the grocery store with my mom let’s say

grocery store with my mom let’s say

grocery store with my mom let’s say that’s me mom that’s who I am I started

that’s me mom that’s who I am I started

that’s me mom that’s who I am I started playing football when I was seven years

playing football when I was seven years

playing football when I was seven years old I found my passion what I was meant

old I found my passion what I was meant

old I found my passion what I was meant to do something that was going to take

to do something that was going to take

to do something that was going to take me somewhere that’s where I was going

me somewhere that’s where I was going

me somewhere that’s where I was going somewhere sometimes I would practice two

somewhere sometimes I would practice two

somewhere sometimes I would practice two times a day have three games a week all

times a day have three games a week all

times a day have three games a week all the while I’d head to the gym in between

the while I’d head to the gym in between

the while I’d head to the gym in between desperately trying to get better

desperately trying to get better

desperately trying to get better I’d eat healthy I’d keep protein shakes

I’d eat healthy I’d keep protein shakes

I’d eat healthy I’d keep protein shakes in my locker if I broke a bone or

in my locker if I broke a bone or

in my locker if I broke a bone or sprained an ankle

sprained an ankle

sprained an ankle I just tape it tighter and keep going

I just tape it tighter and keep going

I just tape it tighter and keep going this attitude got me so much evens

this attitude got me so much evens

this attitude got me so much evens athletically I was selected to the team

athletically I was selected to the team

athletically I was selected to the team BC was team BC defensive MVP I was

BC was team BC defensive MVP I was

BC was team BC defensive MVP I was offered a full scholarship to Washington

offered a full scholarship to Washington

offered a full scholarship to Washington State University in grade 11 I was

State University in grade 11 I was

State University in grade 11 I was selected to the All pac-10 freshman team

selected to the All pac-10 freshman team

selected to the All pac-10 freshman team I want a pac-10 championship played in a

I want a pac-10 championship played in a

I want a pac-10 championship played in a Rose Bowl won a holiday Bowl and in 2006

Rose Bowl won a holiday Bowl and in 2006

Rose Bowl won a holiday Bowl and in 2006 I was selected first overall in the CFL

I was selected first overall in the CFL

I was selected first overall in the CFL Draft to the Edmonton Eskimos

Draft to the Edmonton Eskimos

Draft to the Edmonton Eskimos I had my sights set on getting into the

I had my sights set on getting into the

I had my sights set on getting into the NFL I was a football player

NFL I was a football player

NFL I was a football player it was everything it taught me about

it was everything it taught me about

it was everything it taught me about life my coaches were my parents my

life my coaches were my parents my

life my coaches were my parents my teammates my brothers problem is though

teammates my brothers problem is though

teammates my brothers problem is though the surrogate family will let you down

the surrogate family will let you down

the surrogate family will let you down this happened when I got hurt

in 20 years I don’t even remember

in 20 years I don’t even remember missing a practice let alone a game now

missing a practice let alone a game now

missing a practice let alone a game now I’ve missed two seasons with surgery

I’ve missed two seasons with surgery

I’ve missed two seasons with surgery after surgery I was stuck on my couch

after surgery I was stuck on my couch

after surgery I was stuck on my couch barely able to walk more than a few

barely able to walk more than a few

barely able to walk more than a few steps I was the star football player and

steps I was the star football player and

steps I was the star football player and now I was nothing I felt empty I had

now I was nothing I felt empty I had

now I was nothing I felt empty I had nothing I had nothing sustaining me so

nothing I had nothing sustaining me so

nothing I had nothing sustaining me so drugs filled that void the sinking

drugs filled that void the sinking

drugs filled that void the sinking feeling I had in my heart when I was

feeling I had in my heart when I was

feeling I had in my heart when I was alone with my demons all day I had no

alone with my demons all day I had no

alone with my demons all day I had no options in my mind on how to sustain my

options in my mind on how to sustain my

options in my mind on how to sustain my drug habit so I turned to crime and

drug habit so I turned to crime and

drug habit so I turned to crime and violence there’s one step after the

violence there’s one step after the

violence there’s one step after the other down a dark road where things got

other down a dark road where things got

other down a dark road where things got increasingly violent and dangerous one

increasingly violent and dangerous one

increasingly violent and dangerous one thing leads to another and before you

thing leads to another and before you

thing leads to another and before you know it you’re slamming a bottle of

know it you’re slamming a bottle of

know it you’re slamming a bottle of pills to get out of bed and packing

pills to get out of bed and packing

pills to get out of bed and packing around a nine-millimeter and wearing a

around a nine-millimeter and wearing a

around a nine-millimeter and wearing a bulletproof vest crime gave me purpose

bulletproof vest crime gave me purpose

bulletproof vest crime gave me purpose the reason to get out of bed every day

the reason to get out of bed every day

the reason to get out of bed every day and I fed and it fed that insurmountable

and I fed and it fed that insurmountable

and I fed and it fed that insurmountable craving for painkillers I thought I

craving for painkillers I thought I

craving for painkillers I thought I needed these choices I made led me to

needed these choices I made led me to

needed these choices I made led me to that fateful day in 2010 when during a

that fateful day in 2010 when during a

that fateful day in 2010 when during a drug collection I hit a man with the

drug collection I hit a man with the

drug collection I hit a man with the machete beat him up stuffed him into a

machete beat him up stuffed him into a

machete beat him up stuffed him into a trunk of a car the police found out

trunk of a car the police found out

trunk of a car the police found out shortly soon thereafter on a clandestine

shortly soon thereafter on a clandestine

shortly soon thereafter on a clandestine stretch of highway leading to nowhere

stretch of highway leading to nowhere

stretch of highway leading to nowhere luckily we all walked away that day I

luckily we all walked away that day I

luckily we all walked away that day I was released on bail a few times I

was released on bail a few times I

was released on bail a few times I screwed up twice

screwed up twice

screwed up twice I was Realty pull gun charges domestic

I was Realty pull gun charges domestic

I was Realty pull gun charges domestic violence and drug trafficking I’d done

violence and drug trafficking I’d done

violence and drug trafficking I’d done every lowlife thing you could do and I

every lowlife thing you could do and I

every lowlife thing you could do and I decided to end it all by taking a

decided to end it all by taking a

decided to end it all by taking a handful of pills playing Russian

handful of pills playing Russian

handful of pills playing Russian roulette

roulette

roulette luckily the gun did not fire I played

luckily the gun did not fire I played

luckily the gun did not fire I played actually several times of course it made

actually several times of course it made

actually several times of course it made national newspapers this was during the

national newspapers this was during the

national newspapers this was during the great cop mind you I was still playing

great cop mind you I was still playing

great cop mind you I was still playing football at this time I managed to come

football at this time I managed to come

football at this time I managed to come back and play one more season before all

back and play one more season before all

back and play one more season before all this happened during my fall from grace

this happened during my fall from grace

this happened during my fall from grace headlines grades in newspapers such as

headlines grades in newspapers such as

headlines grades in newspapers such as hero to monster I lost everything I lost

hero to monster I lost everything I lost

hero to monster I lost everything I lost my car my house my job my health my

my car my house my job my health my

my car my house my job my health my freedom all of my money my reputation my

freedom all of my money my reputation my

freedom all of my money my reputation my dream everything was gone but most of

dream everything was gone but most of

dream everything was gone but most of all I hurt the people that I love I’m

all I hurt the people that I love I’m

all I hurt the people that I love I’m not gonna lie

not gonna lie

not gonna lie I thought that

I thought that

I thought that I thought during the time my life is

I thought during the time my life is

I thought during the time my life is over I stopped caring whether I lived

over I stopped caring whether I lived

over I stopped caring whether I lived there died locked away in a jail cell

there died locked away in a jail cell

there died locked away in a jail cell ruined I lay on a concrete floor and

ruined I lay on a concrete floor and

ruined I lay on a concrete floor and like the scene out of the movie

like the scene out of the movie

like the scene out of the movie Trainspotting I kicked opiate

Trainspotting I kicked opiate

Trainspotting I kicked opiate painkillers

painkillers

painkillers I can’t properly describe the misery I

I can’t properly describe the misery I

I can’t properly describe the misery I went through over those three weeks

went through over those three weeks

went through over those three weeks everything aches

everything aches

everything aches you can’t hold down food or water you’re

you can’t hold down food or water you’re

you can’t hold down food or water you’re always cold and sweaty you can’t sleep

always cold and sweaty you can’t sleep

always cold and sweaty you can’t sleep you have racing anxiety thoughts all day

you have racing anxiety thoughts all day

you have racing anxiety thoughts all day but slowly I got my strength back doing

but slowly I got my strength back doing

but slowly I got my strength back doing push-ups shadowboxing pacing around back

push-ups shadowboxing pacing around back

push-ups shadowboxing pacing around back and forth to my cell there’s at that

and forth to my cell there’s at that

and forth to my cell there’s at that time I made the decision that this

time I made the decision that this

time I made the decision that this wouldn’t kill me that this wasn’t the

wouldn’t kill me that this wasn’t the

wouldn’t kill me that this wasn’t the end I keep fighting because that’s what

end I keep fighting because that’s what

end I keep fighting because that’s what I do I’m a fighter I’ll get through this

I do I’m a fighter I’ll get through this

I do I’m a fighter I’ll get through this that’s what I do I get through things

I’ll eat healthy I’ll exercise I’ll work

I’ll eat healthy I’ll exercise I’ll work hard I’ll coach I’ll give back to the

hard I’ll coach I’ll give back to the

hard I’ll coach I’ll give back to the community I’ll be better to my family I

went to treatment

went to treatment I got counseling I got back in the gym I

I got counseling I got back in the gym I

I got counseling I got back in the gym I needed to get better I said I used to

needed to get better I said I used to

needed to get better I said I used to sit in my 4 by 7 room in the halfway

sit in my 4 by 7 room in the halfway

sit in my 4 by 7 room in the halfway house that doubled as a homeless shelter

house that doubled as a homeless shelter

house that doubled as a homeless shelter a place where you might walk by a

a place where you might walk by a

a place where you might walk by a bathroom and see a dead body laying on

bathroom and see a dead body laying on

bathroom and see a dead body laying on the bathroom floor and that happens that

the bathroom floor and that happens that

the bathroom floor and that happens that happened I thought a victim of a drug

happened I thought a victim of a drug

happened I thought a victim of a drug overdose

overdose

overdose I’d sit there and I’d listen to

I’d sit there and I’d listen to

I’d sit there and I’d listen to motivational videos on YouTube I’d say

motivational videos on YouTube I’d say

motivational videos on YouTube I’d say to myself no matter what happens just

to myself no matter what happens just

to myself no matter what happens just show up every day just go just keep

show up every day just go just keep

show up every day just go just keep showing up take the bus go dig holes

showing up take the bus go dig holes

showing up take the bus go dig holes pack material dispose of hazardous waste

pack material dispose of hazardous waste

pack material dispose of hazardous waste it doesn’t matter you go everyday you do

it doesn’t matter you go everyday you do

it doesn’t matter you go everyday you do your best then after all that you go to

your best then after all that you go to

your best then after all that you go to the gym and train as hard as you can

the gym and train as hard as you can

the gym and train as hard as you can because that’s what you do that’s the

because that’s what you do that’s the

because that’s what you do that’s the only way out of this no one’s coming to

only way out of this no one’s coming to

only way out of this no one’s coming to save you and even if there was you don’t

save you and even if there was you don’t

save you and even if there was you don’t deserve it

deserve it

deserve it the determination was tested five

the determination was tested five

the determination was tested five minutes on to my first day the job site

minutes on to my first day the job site

minutes on to my first day the job site as a carpenter my boss was where’s your

as a carpenter my boss was where’s your

as a carpenter my boss was where’s your tools I said I don’t got any tools then

tools I said I don’t got any tools then

tools I said I don’t got any tools then and I just took the bus here I got to do

and I just took the bus here I got to do

and I just took the bus here I got to do this I’m on parole the enemy had

this I’m on parole the enemy had

this I’m on parole the enemy had crowbars

crowbars

crowbars peel off that piece of cedar you’re

peel off that piece of cedar you’re

peel off that piece of cedar you’re gonna strip all these decks I was like

gonna strip all these decks I was like

gonna strip all these decks I was like all right this is literally five minutes

all right this is literally five minutes

all right this is literally five minutes and 7:05 a.m. wasps nests lands right in

and 7:05 a.m. wasps nests lands right in

and 7:05 a.m. wasps nests lands right in front of me I’m four stories up on

front of me I’m four stories up on

front of me I’m four stories up on scaffolding I’m like what do I do

scaffolding I’m like what do I do

scaffolding I’m like what do I do so I’m certainly trying to scramble down

so I’m certainly trying to scramble down

so I’m certainly trying to scramble down and they just swarm me they’re stuck in

and they just swarm me they’re stuck in

and they just swarm me they’re stuck in my beard in my ear in my nose in my

my beard in my ear in my nose in my

my beard in my ear in my nose in my pants everywhere I got stung about 50

pants everywhere I got stung about 50

pants everywhere I got stung about 50 times they thought and I’m running down

times they thought and I’m running down

times they thought and I’m running down the scaffold it’s 7:00 in the morning

the scaffold it’s 7:00 in the morning

the scaffold it’s 7:00 in the morning there’s people living there I’m yelling

there’s people living there I’m yelling

there’s people living there I’m yelling and I’m cursin oh my god I’m ripping my

and I’m cursin oh my god I’m ripping my

and I’m cursin oh my god I’m ripping my shirt off and I’m just losing my mind

shirt off and I’m just losing my mind

shirt off and I’m just losing my mind and they’re like man you gotta go the

and they’re like man you gotta go the

and they’re like man you gotta go the hospital you all right and I think I hit

hospital you all right and I think I hit

hospital you all right and I think I hit another bees nest on the way and I was

another bees nest on the way and I was

another bees nest on the way and I was just getting attacked like cuz I walked

just getting attacked like cuz I walked

just getting attacked like cuz I walked by the same bees nest trying to figure

by the same bees nest trying to figure

by the same bees nest trying to figure out the scaffolding never been up on

out the scaffolding never been up on

out the scaffolding never been up on scaffolding and I sat there and they’re

scaffolding and I sat there and they’re

scaffolding and I sat there and they’re like you got to go and go to the

like you got to go and go to the

like you got to go and go to the hospital your swelling up you got to go

hospital your swelling up you got to go

hospital your swelling up you got to go home I got knots all over my head I was

home I got knots all over my head I was

home I got knots all over my head I was like no man if I leave if I leave now

like no man if I leave if I leave now

like no man if I leave if I leave now I’ll never come back day one oh I walked

I’ll never come back day one oh I walked

I’ll never come back day one oh I walked around that scaffolding I stripped those

around that scaffolding I stripped those

around that scaffolding I stripped those decks I was a little bit dizzy from all

decks I was a little bit dizzy from all

decks I was a little bit dizzy from all the poison I was sweating but you know I

the poison I was sweating but you know I

the poison I was sweating but you know I stayed I worked the full day sure enough

stayed I worked the full day sure enough

stayed I worked the full day sure enough I went home I ate my food I went to the

I went home I ate my food I went to the

I went home I ate my food I went to the gym that night I was getting punched in

gym that night I was getting punched in

gym that night I was getting punched in the head and I was like lost feels

the head and I was like lost feels

the head and I was like lost feels really cool with bee stings all over my

really cool with bee stings all over my

really cool with bee stings all over my head but I did it I sweat it out and I

head but I did it I sweat it out and I

head but I did it I sweat it out and I went again the next day I did that you

went again the next day I did that you

went again the next day I did that you know I made this mess for myself and I

know I made this mess for myself and I

know I made this mess for myself and I did the best to pay what I owed and

did the best to pay what I owed and

did the best to pay what I owed and within two years of my release I want a

within two years of my release I want a

within two years of my release I want a world title and boxing all the while

world title and boxing all the while

world title and boxing all the while living in that same halfway house that

living in that same halfway house that

living in that same halfway house that was February of this year the only

was February of this year the only

was February of this year the only reason I won that fight I was greatly

reason I won that fight I was greatly

reason I won that fight I was greatly overmatched and received a three-inch

overmatched and received a three-inch

overmatched and received a three-inch cut over my eye was that I wouldn’t quit

cut over my eye was that I wouldn’t quit

cut over my eye was that I wouldn’t quit round after round

round after round

round after round I just kept showing up I want to fight I

I just kept showing up I want to fight I

I just kept showing up I want to fight I won that fight I was great greatly

won that fight I was great greatly

won that fight I was great greatly favored to lose in something told me I

favored to lose in something told me I

favored to lose in something told me I had to win I need to do this I used all

had to win I need to do this I used all

had to win I need to do this I used all the hard lessons I learned through

the hard lessons I learned through

the hard lessons I learned through addiction rehab jail prison hell they

addiction rehab jail prison hell they

addiction rehab jail prison hell they just never quit move forward grow get

just never quit move forward grow get

just never quit move forward grow get out of your comfort zone

did you set your mind to it and show up

did you set your mind to it and show up every day and give you everything you

every day and give you everything you

every day and give you everything you got and I’m not talking like the Beast

got and I’m not talking like the Beast

got and I’m not talking like the Beast things I’m talking about getting your

things I’m talking about getting your

things I’m talking about getting your teeth knocked out by rebar and concrete

teeth knocked out by rebar and concrete

teeth knocked out by rebar and concrete and picking that up and stuffing them in

and picking that up and stuffing them in

and picking that up and stuffing them in your pocket and going on cuz I know

your pocket and going on cuz I know

your pocket and going on cuz I know that’s like – that kind of determination

you have to keep moving forward no

you have to keep moving forward no excuses this trust me I know I had to

excuses this trust me I know I had to

excuses this trust me I know I had to get out of my comfort zone a lot I

get out of my comfort zone a lot I

get out of my comfort zone a lot I needed to grow as a person I needed to

needed to grow as a person I needed to

needed to grow as a person I needed to see value in things such as community

see value in things such as community

see value in things such as community and public service things that I ignored

and public service things that I ignored

and public service things that I ignored until now

until now

until now things I ignored because I never needed

things I ignored because I never needed

things I ignored because I never needed those things until now I’d set goals for

those things until now I’d set goals for

those things until now I’d set goals for myself and not just athletically but

myself and not just athletically but

myself and not just athletically but much more importantly in life there’s

much more importantly in life there’s

much more importantly in life there’s your storybook ending right told you my

your storybook ending right told you my

your storybook ending right told you my journey I rocketed up unstoppable struck

journey I rocketed up unstoppable struck

journey I rocketed up unstoppable struck down lower than I could have ever

down lower than I could have ever

down lower than I could have ever imagined and then through hard work

imagined and then through hard work

imagined and then through hard work followed my way to the top again I’ve

followed my way to the top again I’ve

followed my way to the top again I’ve redeemed myself right I should be on my

redeemed myself right I should be on my

redeemed myself right I should be on my way to greater things wrong this is no

way to greater things wrong this is no

way to greater things wrong this is no movie I’m no hero I didn’t win and ride

movie I’m no hero I didn’t win and ride

movie I’m no hero I didn’t win and ride off into the sunset

that’s how I sustain my life this is

that’s how I sustain my life this is what saves me from going back to my evil

what saves me from going back to my evil

what saves me from going back to my evil ways this is who I am I’m a pro boxer

ways this is who I am I’m a pro boxer

ways this is who I am I’m a pro boxer I’m a fighter

I’m a fighter

I’m a fighter that’s all I know how to do that’s how I

that’s all I know how to do that’s how I

that’s all I know how to do that’s how I live it’s how I eat on June 16 2017

live it’s how I eat on June 16 2017

live it’s how I eat on June 16 2017 I killed my friend in the boxing ring

there’s a fight – Edmonton threw a right

there’s a fight – Edmonton threw a right hand left hook at the beginning of the

hand left hook at the beginning of the

hand left hook at the beginning of the second round and I killed Tim Hague he

second round and I killed Tim Hague he

second round and I killed Tim Hague he hit the canvas brain-dead and

hit the canvas brain-dead and

hit the canvas brain-dead and unresponsive I took away a boy’s father

unresponsive I took away a boy’s father

unresponsive I took away a boy’s father brother

a husband a son when I took him away on

a husband a son when I took him away on Father’s Day there’s nothing I can do

Father’s Day there’s nothing I can do

Father’s Day there’s nothing I can do you to bring him back I can’t go back on

you to bring him back I can’t go back on

you to bring him back I can’t go back on anything I’ve done the mistakes that

anything I’ve done the mistakes that

anything I’ve done the mistakes that I’ve made I will live with for the rest

I’ve made I will live with for the rest

I’ve made I will live with for the rest of my life

of my life

of my life what I can do is not slide back into my

what I can do is not slide back into my

what I can do is not slide back into my old self do the best to keep fighting

old self do the best to keep fighting

old self do the best to keep fighting learn to share my experience with others

learn to share my experience with others

learn to share my experience with others to try to gain wisdom from it and so

to try to gain wisdom from it and so

to try to gain wisdom from it and so there is a way to survive there is a way

there is a way to survive there is a way

there is a way to survive there is a way to move forward you can gain strength

to move forward you can gain strength

to move forward you can gain strength and never give up to overcome everything

and never give up to overcome everything

and never give up to overcome everything and anything you go through try to lead

and anything you go through try to lead

and anything you go through try to lead people better off than when you found

people better off than when you found

people better off than when you found them so on that note I fight again here

them so on that note I fight again here

them so on that note I fight again here in Victoria September 8th because that’s

in Victoria September 8th because that’s

in Victoria September 8th because that’s what I do that’s who I am not fighter

I’d like to believe I can do it better

I’d like to believe I can do it better at this time I have new insights on

at this time I have new insights on

at this time I have new insights on myself the steps that I took forward to

myself the steps that I took forward to

myself the steps that I took forward to change how I live how I treat people I

change how I live how I treat people I

change how I live how I treat people I find strength in knowing I can ask for

find strength in knowing I can ask for

find strength in knowing I can ask for help and knowing I can be forgiving and

help and knowing I can be forgiving and

help and knowing I can be forgiving and annoying I’m strong enough to pull

annoying I’m strong enough to pull

annoying I’m strong enough to pull myself out of anything life’s a journey

myself out of anything life’s a journey

myself out of anything life’s a journey that goes round and round with many

that goes round and round with many

that goes round and round with many peaks many valleys and the only thing

peaks many valleys and the only thing

peaks many valleys and the only thing you can count on is change that’s how

you can count on is change that’s how

you can count on is change that’s how you respond to that change reinventing

you respond to that change reinventing

you respond to that change reinventing yourself however you have to what’s

yourself however you have to what’s

yourself however you have to what’s important