[Music] this is the moment that changed my life
this is the moment that changed my life
this is the moment that changed my life you can see me here at 18 years old
you can see me here at 18 years old
you can see me here at 18 years old standing atop the Olympic podium in
standing atop the Olympic podium in
standing atop the Olympic podium in Sydney Australia with my childhood idol
Sydney Australia with my childhood idol
Sydney Australia with my childhood idol next to me she was up on my wall
next to me she was up on my wall
next to me she was up on my wall pictures just like this Jenny Thompson a
pictures just like this Jenny Thompson a
pictures just like this Jenny Thompson a fellow New England native I wanted to be
fellow New England native I wanted to be
fellow New England native I wanted to be like her and on that night in Sydney I
like her and on that night in Sydney I
like her and on that night in Sydney I let off the four by 200 freestyle relay
let off the four by 200 freestyle relay
let off the four by 200 freestyle relay and she was our anchor with Lindsay and
and she was our anchor with Lindsay and
and she was our anchor with Lindsay and Diana in the middle we broke an Olympic
Diana in the middle we broke an Olympic
Diana in the middle we broke an Olympic record and we got to live that moment I
record and we got to live that moment I
record and we got to live that moment I dreamed about and I stood on stages
dreamed about and I stood on stages
dreamed about and I stood on stages behind podiums and classrooms and
behind podiums and classrooms and
behind podiums and classrooms and auditoriums and I told my story and
auditoriums and I told my story and
auditoriums and I told my story and signed next to my name dreams come true
signed next to my name dreams come true
signed next to my name dreams come true because they do and I told the story of
because they do and I told the story of
because they do and I told the story of that five year old who wanted to be a
that five year old who wanted to be a
that five year old who wanted to be a gymnast you can see my height didn’t
gymnast you can see my height didn’t
gymnast you can see my height didn’t work out very well so the 15 year old
work out very well so the 15 year old
work out very well so the 15 year old who was ready to quit and walk away from
who was ready to quit and walk away from
who was ready to quit and walk away from a sport she loved – the girl who let off
a sport she loved – the girl who let off
a sport she loved – the girl who let off that relay I told my truths I shared my
that relay I told my truths I shared my
that relay I told my truths I shared my stories
stories
stories I just didn’t share all of them there
I just didn’t share all of them there
I just didn’t share all of them there were parts of me in my story that I kept
were parts of me in my story that I kept
were parts of me in my story that I kept buried deep inside of me parts that felt
buried deep inside of me parts that felt
buried deep inside of me parts that felt broken parts I felt ashamed of and all
broken parts I felt ashamed of and all
broken parts I felt ashamed of and all that changed four years ago on the
that changed four years ago on the
that changed four years ago on the morning of November 22nd 2013 when I
morning of November 22nd 2013 when I
morning of November 22nd 2013 when I witnessed my then 12 month old
witnessed my then 12 month old
witnessed my then 12 month old daughter’s heart go into ventricular
daughter’s heart go into ventricular
daughter’s heart go into ventricular fibrillation sudden cardiac arrest I was
fibrillation sudden cardiac arrest I was
fibrillation sudden cardiac arrest I was less than three feet away from her that
less than three feet away from her that
less than three feet away from her that moment the sounds sights smells seared
moment the sounds sights smells seared
moment the sounds sights smells seared in my brain forever changing the
in my brain forever changing the
in my brain forever changing the pathways that moment
pathways that moment
pathways that moment watching all those events unfold in room
watching all those events unfold in room
watching all those events unfold in room two changed me
two changed me
two changed me and as the nurse pulled me outside into
and as the nurse pulled me outside into
and as the nurse pulled me outside into the hallway to watch the team of doctors
the hallway to watch the team of doctors
the hallway to watch the team of doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists
and nurses and respiratory therapists
and nurses and respiratory therapists and secretaries rush to her bedside I
and secretaries rush to her bedside I
and secretaries rush to her bedside I kept saying fight you have a twin sister
kept saying fight you have a twin sister
kept saying fight you have a twin sister at home we can not loose you fight me a
at home we can not loose you fight me a
at home we can not loose you fight me a fight the longest minutes of my life
she’s kicking butt now at that time I
she’s kicking butt now at that time I did not know that there was a machine
did not know that there was a machine
did not know that there was a machine called ECMO that would save her life
called ECMO that would save her life
called ECMO that would save her life what I witnessed was them try to clear
what I witnessed was them try to clear
what I witnessed was them try to clear and defibrillate her heart three times
and defibrillate her heart three times
and defibrillate her heart three times and all I knew from movies and TV shows
and all I knew from movies and TV shows
and all I knew from movies and TV shows I was obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy was
I was obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy was
I was obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy was that was it and the nurse looked at me
that was it and the nurse looked at me
that was it and the nurse looked at me and said she has fought hard enough let
and said she has fought hard enough let
and said she has fought hard enough let her rest let them help her and I stared
her rest let them help her and I stared
her rest let them help her and I stared back at her and my entire body shifted
back at her and my entire body shifted
back at her and my entire body shifted rest is bad help is weakness in that
rest is bad help is weakness in that
rest is bad help is weakness in that moment her words shattered the
moment her words shattered the
moment her words shattered the perfectionist armor I had been wearing
perfectionist armor I had been wearing
perfectionist armor I had been wearing for 13 years I had prepared and
for 13 years I had prepared and
for 13 years I had prepared and organized and charted and had graphs for
organized and charted and had graphs for
organized and charted and had graphs for where my kids would go I had prepared
where my kids would go I had prepared
where my kids would go I had prepared every single possible detail I could and
every single possible detail I could and
every single possible detail I could and as I sat outside her bedroom that
as I sat outside her bedroom that
as I sat outside her bedroom that hospital room watching the events unfold
hospital room watching the events unfold
hospital room watching the events unfold I wonder what did I do how did I do this
I wonder what did I do how did I do this
I wonder what did I do how did I do this what did I do wrong where could I have
what did I do wrong where could I have
what did I do wrong where could I have tried harder and I realize there’s no
tried harder and I realize there’s no
tried harder and I realize there’s no such thing as trying harder the only
such thing as trying harder the only
such thing as trying harder the only thing I could do at that point was
thing I could do at that point was
thing I could do at that point was surrender and let them help her my
surrender and let them help her my
surrender and let them help her my perfectionist armour gone standing there
perfectionist armour gone standing there
perfectionist armour gone standing there completely vulnerable actually sitting
completely vulnerable actually sitting
completely vulnerable actually sitting rocking back and forth waiting the only
rocking back and forth waiting the only
rocking back and forth waiting the only thing I could
thing I could
thing I could you was hold on to the little pieces
you was hold on to the little pieces
you was hold on to the little pieces that I could and during that 40 one day
that I could and during that 40 one day
that I could and during that 40 one day stay at Children’s Hospital gratitude
stay at Children’s Hospital gratitude
stay at Children’s Hospital gratitude gave me life the first seven days we had
gave me life the first seven days we had
gave me life the first seven days we had no idea it was complete uncertainty we
no idea it was complete uncertainty we
no idea it was complete uncertainty we didn’t know what would happen we didn’t
didn’t know what would happen we didn’t
didn’t know what would happen we didn’t know if she was coming home with us we
know if she was coming home with us we
know if she was coming home with us we didn’t know how and every day I showed
didn’t know how and every day I showed
didn’t know how and every day I showed up grateful for the signs the nurse made
up grateful for the signs the nurse made
up grateful for the signs the nurse made her gifts from complete strangers the
her gifts from complete strangers the
her gifts from complete strangers the way the nurses arranged bows in her hair
way the nurses arranged bows in her hair
way the nurses arranged bows in her hair and treated her like the little girl she
and treated her like the little girl she
and treated her like the little girl she was it allowed me to look past all the
was it allowed me to look past all the
was it allowed me to look past all the med lines in the deepest darkness of my
med lines in the deepest darkness of my
med lines in the deepest darkness of my life I was able to find gratitude there
life I was able to find gratitude there
life I was able to find gratitude there she is the day after we got home hanging
she is the day after we got home hanging
she is the day after we got home hanging out with her sisters she’s dead thinner
out with her sisters she’s dead thinner
out with her sisters she’s dead thinner like nothing ever happened she is fierce
like nothing ever happened she is fierce
like nothing ever happened she is fierce and there’s a reason they gave her that
and there’s a reason they gave her that
and there’s a reason they gave her that name mighty Mia you really don’t want
name mighty Mia you really don’t want
name mighty Mia you really don’t want your child to be called a miracle at
your child to be called a miracle at
your child to be called a miracle at Boston Children’s Hospital it’s not
Boston Children’s Hospital it’s not
Boston Children’s Hospital it’s not really a status that you want and at the
really a status that you want and at the
really a status that you want and at the same time it is because they saved her
same time it is because they saved her
same time it is because they saved her life and we went home and carried on
life and we went home and carried on
life and we went home and carried on except I found myself under the biggest
except I found myself under the biggest
except I found myself under the biggest pile of rubble I had ever been in in my
pile of rubble I had ever been in in my
pile of rubble I had ever been in in my life the microwave the cold air the
life the microwave the cold air the
life the microwave the cold air the sound of a helicopter the smell of hand
sound of a helicopter the smell of hand
sound of a helicopter the smell of hand sanitizer people everything was
sanitizer people everything was
sanitizer people everything was triggering me in sending me straight
triggering me in sending me straight
triggering me in sending me straight back to those moments in room 2 I had no
back to those moments in room 2 I had no
back to those moments in room 2 I had no idea if I would ever find my feet again
idea if I would ever find my feet again
idea if I would ever find my feet again and how long that would take and I did
and how long that would take and I did
and how long that would take and I did I’m here wherever you are if you are in
I’m here wherever you are if you are in
I’m here wherever you are if you are in a darkness there is light and that light
a darkness there is light and that light
a darkness there is light and that light is inside of you and that discovery
is inside of you and that discovery
is inside of you and that discovery digging deeper into this concept of this
digging deeper into this concept of this
digging deeper into this concept of this light inside of us it led me here
light inside of us it led me here
light inside of us it led me here to a blank page where I got to write my
to a blank page where I got to write my
to a blank page where I got to write my story
story
story and in therapy I worked with my
and in therapy I worked with my
and in therapy I worked with my therapist as part of processing trauma
therapist as part of processing trauma
therapist as part of processing trauma to tell the story to tell the whole
to tell the story to tell the whole
to tell the story to tell the whole story not just the parts trauma wanted
story not just the parts trauma wanted
story not just the parts trauma wanted me to tell and we would start and I’d
me to tell and we would start and I’d
me to tell and we would start and I’d start by talking and I’d be all over
start by talking and I’d be all over
start by talking and I’d be all over here and I’d be rushing around and I’d
here and I’d be rushing around and I’d
here and I’d be rushing around and I’d be fragmented and chasing and soon
be fragmented and chasing and soon
be fragmented and chasing and soon enough I’d be on her floor bawling my
enough I’d be on her floor bawling my
enough I’d be on her floor bawling my eyes out back in room two in over time
eyes out back in room two in over time
eyes out back in room two in over time she helped me pause an open space and go
she helped me pause an open space and go
she helped me pause an open space and go back so that I could see that those
back so that I could see that those
back so that I could see that those doctors and nurses they weren’t
doctors and nurses they weren’t
doctors and nurses they weren’t mutilating her body they were saving her
mutilating her body they were saving her
mutilating her body they were saving her life
life
life that mother who thought she lost her
that mother who thought she lost her
that mother who thought she lost her daughter didn’t give up hope she was
daughter didn’t give up hope she was
daughter didn’t give up hope she was letting go in surrendering you see when
letting go in surrendering you see when
letting go in surrendering you see when we dive into our stories and own them
we dive into our stories and own them
we dive into our stories and own them and go back to heal old wounds we set
and go back to heal old wounds we set
and go back to heal old wounds we set ourselves free our work together led me
ourselves free our work together led me
ourselves free our work together led me back here when my parents dropped off
back here when my parents dropped off
back here when my parents dropped off okay I still have bins at their house
okay I still have bins at their house
okay I still have bins at their house full of stuff and they’re tired of it
full of stuff and they’re tired of it
full of stuff and they’re tired of it frankly they’re like it ready you have a
frankly they’re like it ready you have a
frankly they’re like it ready you have a family now let’s go so they dropped off
family now let’s go so they dropped off
family now let’s go so they dropped off these bins 16-years shot oh my Olympic
these bins 16-years shot oh my Olympic
these bins 16-years shot oh my Olympic paraphernalia my log books all the
paraphernalia my log books all the
paraphernalia my log books all the things I never looked at them didn’t
things I never looked at them didn’t
things I never looked at them didn’t read the cards none of it and now I have
read the cards none of it and now I have
read the cards none of it and now I have four girls who are extremely curious and
four girls who are extremely curious and
four girls who are extremely curious and it just so happened that the Rio games
it just so happened that the Rio games
it just so happened that the Rio games were on and they were very interested
were on and they were very interested
were on and they were very interested and it was the first time they had
and it was the first time they had
and it was the first time they had watched my race on YouTube so as they
watched my race on YouTube so as they
watched my race on YouTube so as they dug through I stumbled upon a log book a
dug through I stumbled upon a log book a
dug through I stumbled upon a log book a law book that I kept that was supposed
law book that I kept that was supposed
law book that I kept that was supposed to be keeping track of all my races and
to be keeping track of all my races and
to be keeping track of all my races and all the details of practices but that
all the details of practices but that
all the details of practices but that logbook at some point had transformed
logbook at some point had transformed
logbook at some point had transformed into a space for the inner critic to be
into a space for the inner critic to be
into a space for the inner critic to be in written word
in written word
in written word a living bully inside my head and when I
a living bully inside my head and when I
a living bully inside my head and when I cracked open those pages just like we
cracked open those pages just like we
cracked open those pages just like we were doing in therapy with the trauma to
were doing in therapy with the trauma to
were doing in therapy with the trauma to open and expand that story those wounds
open and expand that story those wounds
open and expand that story those wounds were so painful I had buried those those
were so painful I had buried those those
were so painful I had buried those those pieces of me so deep that I lost my
pieces of me so deep that I lost my
pieces of me so deep that I lost my breath when I read the words that
breath when I read the words that
breath when I read the words that disgusting after this is over you eat
disgusting after this is over you eat
disgusting after this is over you eat three times a day and that is it the day
three times a day and that is it the day
three times a day and that is it the day before my race in Sydney in the Olympic
before my race in Sydney in the Olympic
before my race in Sydney in the Olympic Village in my bedroom the day before the
Village in my bedroom the day before the
Village in my bedroom the day before the biggest race of my life I was sobbing
biggest race of my life I was sobbing
biggest race of my life I was sobbing because I stepped on a scale those are
because I stepped on a scale those are
because I stepped on a scale those are the parts the story that I told myself
the parts the story that I told myself
the parts the story that I told myself nobody wants to hear that that’s not the
nobody wants to hear that that’s not the
nobody wants to hear that that’s not the hallmark version that doesn’t make
hallmark version that doesn’t make
hallmark version that doesn’t make people feel good but what I realized is
people feel good but what I realized is
people feel good but what I realized is there’s power in owning all of it
there’s power in owning all of it
there’s power in owning all of it because that eighteen year old girl she
because that eighteen year old girl she
because that eighteen year old girl she is me and there was a part of me that I
is me and there was a part of me that I
is me and there was a part of me that I was disowning and so completely
was disowning and so completely
was disowning and so completely suffocated by shame and my therapist
suffocated by shame and my therapist
suffocated by shame and my therapist challenged me and she said what about
challenged me and she said what about
challenged me and she said what about the next Olympian who stands on that
the next Olympian who stands on that
the next Olympian who stands on that podium and that inner critic is there
podium and that inner critic is there
podium and that inner critic is there what about that next Olympian who
what about that next Olympian who
what about that next Olympian who achieves that childhood dream and
achieves that childhood dream and
achieves that childhood dream and wonders is it and I decided I’m going to
wonders is it and I decided I’m going to
wonders is it and I decided I’m going to share this story because the power of
share this story because the power of
share this story because the power of going back and healing these old wounds
going back and healing these old wounds
going back and healing these old wounds had set me free in my life today imagine
had set me free in my life today imagine
had set me free in my life today imagine if we could just get that 18 year old
if we could just get that 18 year old
if we could just get that 18 year old free so she could experience that
free so she could experience that
free so she could experience that without that inner critic driving and so
without that inner critic driving and so
without that inner critic driving and so I got excited and I told people this is
I got excited and I told people this is
I got excited and I told people this is what I want to do this is it former
what I want to do this is it former
what I want to do this is it former classroom teacher
classroom teacher
classroom teacher I’m home with my girls I’m gonna have a
I’m home with my girls I’m gonna have a
I’m home with my girls I’m gonna have a new classroom I’m gonna help athletes
new classroom I’m gonna help athletes
new classroom I’m gonna help athletes I’m gonna help women who still struggle
I’m gonna help women who still struggle
I’m gonna help women who still struggle with this and I had people say you can’t
with this and I had people say you can’t
with this and I had people say you can’t do that you shouldn’t you shouldn’t tell
do that you shouldn’t you shouldn’t tell
do that you shouldn’t you shouldn’t tell your story you’re gonna hurt the people
your story you’re gonna hurt the people
your story you’re gonna hurt the people you’re trying to help
and again I lost my breath because that
and again I lost my breath because that is the very thing that I got buried
is the very thing that I got buried
is the very thing that I got buried underneath all the hoods we get swept
underneath all the hoods we get swept
underneath all the hoods we get swept away by shoulds when we’re not where we
away by shoulds when we’re not where we
away by shoulds when we’re not where we think we are supposed to be the
think we are supposed to be the
think we are supposed to be the expectations from others the stories
expectations from others the stories
expectations from others the stories that we tell ourselves we get swept away
that we tell ourselves we get swept away
that we tell ourselves we get swept away instead of being where we are and being
instead of being where we are and being
instead of being where we are and being okay stepping into that space we get
okay stepping into that space we get
okay stepping into that space we get stuck in our own minds and we beat
stuck in our own minds and we beat
stuck in our own minds and we beat ourselves up and we let the inner critic
ourselves up and we let the inner critic
ourselves up and we let the inner critic roar because we’re not where we should
roar because we’re not where we should
roar because we’re not where we should be we don’t look like we should look
be we don’t look like we should look
be we don’t look like we should look we’re not parenting how we should parent
we’re not parenting how we should parent
we’re not parenting how we should parent we’re not doing things the right way and
we’re not doing things the right way and
we’re not doing things the right way and on and on and that is exactly what
on and on and that is exactly what
on and on and that is exactly what happened to me when I arrived at the
happened to me when I arrived at the
happened to me when I arrived at the University of Michigan with a gold medal
University of Michigan with a gold medal
University of Michigan with a gold medal I didn’t know who to be who should I be
I didn’t know who to be who should I be
I didn’t know who to be who should I be what should I say I have this new title
what should I say I have this new title
what should I say I have this new title and it buried me in two months after
and it buried me in two months after
and it buried me in two months after standing atop that podium I was out of
standing atop that podium I was out of
standing atop that podium I was out of the water with a shoulder that needed
the water with a shoulder that needed
the water with a shoulder that needed surgery I was battling a full-blown
surgery I was battling a full-blown
surgery I was battling a full-blown eating disorder in battling depression
eating disorder in battling depression
eating disorder in battling depression and I was so filled with shame I didn’t
and I was so filled with shame I didn’t
and I was so filled with shame I didn’t know what to do thankfully found my way
know what to do thankfully found my way
know what to do thankfully found my way much like today to a therapist a mentor
much like today to a therapist a mentor
much like today to a therapist a mentor who helped me find that strength to get
who helped me find that strength to get
who helped me find that strength to get up again but this time is different this
up again but this time is different this
up again but this time is different this time rising from the rubble leaving all
time rising from the rubble leaving all
time rising from the rubble leaving all of perfection behind and I’m on a
of perfection behind and I’m on a
of perfection behind and I’m on a mission
mission
mission because struggle is universal and shame
because struggle is universal and shame
because struggle is universal and shame that cannot survive sharings one of the
that cannot survive sharings one of the
that cannot survive sharings one of the beliefs that really held me back was
beliefs that really held me back was
beliefs that really held me back was perfectionism and it’s this idea well if
perfectionism and it’s this idea well if
perfectionism and it’s this idea well if I just achieve this thing if I just get
I just achieve this thing if I just get
I just achieve this thing if I just get that romantic partner or get married
that romantic partner or get married
that romantic partner or get married have that kid get that promotion if I
have that kid get that promotion if I
have that kid get that promotion if I just can do this if I get my house in
just can do this if I get my house in
just can do this if I get my house in order if I have this much money in the
order if I have this much money in the
order if I have this much money in the bank account then I’ll be happy if I can
bank account then I’ll be happy if I can
bank account then I’ll be happy if I can just get to the top of the podium then
just get to the top of the podium then
just get to the top of the podium then I’ll be fulfilled it’s not it’s not that
I’ll be fulfilled it’s not it’s not that
I’ll be fulfilled it’s not it’s not that way there’s nothing out here that’s
way there’s nothing out here that’s
way there’s nothing out here that’s going to fill you here it brings
going to fill you here it brings
going to fill you here it brings temporary joy but the deep lasting joy
temporary joy but the deep lasting joy
temporary joy but the deep lasting joy comes from in here and it comes from the
comes from in here and it comes from the
comes from in here and it comes from the belief that you are worthy without
belief that you are worthy without
belief that you are worthy without conditions and that you are capable
conditions and that you are capable
conditions and that you are capable perfectionism kept me under the shield
perfectionism kept me under the shield
perfectionism kept me under the shield as Barnea will call it this protective
as Barnea will call it this protective
as Barnea will call it this protective armor where I believed just like I did
armor where I believed just like I did
armor where I believed just like I did in that hospital room that it was my
in that hospital room that it was my
in that hospital room that it was my fault because if I had just controlled
fault because if I had just controlled
fault because if I had just controlled when really all are trying to do is be
when really all are trying to do is be
when really all are trying to do is be superhuman and not feel and we could
superhuman and not feel and we could
superhuman and not feel and we could that’s Wonder Woman if you’re asks we’re
that’s Wonder Woman if you’re asks we’re
that’s Wonder Woman if you’re asks we’re wondering what we’re doing there we are
wondering what we’re doing there we are
wondering what we’re doing there we are channeling our inner one or woman but
channeling our inner one or woman but
channeling our inner one or woman but that idea that we’re superhuman not in
that idea that we’re superhuman not in
that idea that we’re superhuman not in Hollywood not in Washington not on Wall
Hollywood not in Washington not on Wall
Hollywood not in Washington not on Wall Street not in the Olympics there is no
Street not in the Olympics there is no
Street not in the Olympics there is no other class of human there’s no place or
other class of human there’s no place or
other class of human there’s no place or space where you can be protected from
space where you can be protected from
space where you can be protected from the pain of judgment and blame and shame
the pain of judgment and blame and shame
the pain of judgment and blame and shame it is part of the human experience so
it is part of the human experience so
it is part of the human experience so what do we do about it
what do we do about it
what do we do about it here’s how I’ve learned to cope these
here’s how I’ve learned to cope these
here’s how I’ve learned to cope these are skills what if we gave ourselves
are skills what if we gave ourselves
are skills what if we gave ourselves permission to be where we are and I know
permission to be where we are and I know
permission to be where we are and I know if you’re under that shield of
if you’re under that shield of
if you’re under that shield of perfection you can’t let up because that
perfection you can’t let up because that
perfection you can’t let up because that drive comes from perfection it does not
drive comes from perfection it does not
drive comes from perfection it does not because the eternal student that I am
because the eternal student that I am
because the eternal student that I am and the recovering perfectionist that I
and the recovering perfectionist that I
and the recovering perfectionist that I am had to go to the data I wanted to see
am had to go to the data I wanted to see
am had to go to the data I wanted to see what does it say does perfection really
what does it say does perfection really
what does it say does perfection really driving is that what got me to the top
driving is that what got me to the top
driving is that what got me to the top of the podium and hell no I got to the
of the podium and hell no I got to the
of the podium and hell no I got to the top of the podium in spite of it not
top of the podium in spite of it not
top of the podium in spite of it not because of it if we give ourselves
because of it if we give ourselves
because of it if we give ourselves permission to be where we are instead of
permission to be where we are instead of
permission to be where we are instead of where we think we should be what if we
where we think we should be what if we
where we think we should be what if we gave ourselves permission to be seen all
gave ourselves permission to be seen all
gave ourselves permission to be seen all of us fully completely and work I do
of us fully completely and work I do
of us fully completely and work I do with athletes college teams of women
with athletes college teams of women
with athletes college teams of women they say whoa okay judgment no way it’s
they say whoa okay judgment no way it’s
they say whoa okay judgment no way it’s too scary what are you really afraid of
too scary what are you really afraid of
too scary what are you really afraid of you’re afraid to feel so we walk it down
you’re afraid to feel so we walk it down
you’re afraid to feel so we walk it down and we say you’re not afraid to be seen
and we say you’re not afraid to be seen
and we say you’re not afraid to be seen you’re afraid of what people are gonna
you’re afraid of what people are gonna
you’re afraid of what people are gonna say about you if they see you for who
say about you if they see you for who
say about you if they see you for who you are but here’s the thing we can do
you are but here’s the thing we can do
you are but here’s the thing we can do that we can learn how to feel we can
that we can learn how to feel we can
that we can learn how to feel we can learn how to rise and we can also learn
learn how to rise and we can also learn
learn how to rise and we can also learn how to ask for help and we can carefully
how to ask for help and we can carefully
how to ask for help and we can carefully identify whose feedback really matters
identify whose feedback really matters
identify whose feedback really matters in how we can expand our toolbox and
in how we can expand our toolbox and
in how we can expand our toolbox and skill set so that we don’t stay stuck in
skill set so that we don’t stay stuck in
skill set so that we don’t stay stuck in a motion and buried in shame but we can
a motion and buried in shame but we can
a motion and buried in shame but we can get up and move on with our lives and
get up and move on with our lives and
get up and move on with our lives and get back into the driver’s seat
get back into the driver’s seat
get back into the driver’s seat permission to be human what if we gave
permission to be human what if we gave
permission to be human what if we gave ourselves permission to be human to fall
ourselves permission to be human to fall
ourselves permission to be human to fall to fail to go out after whatever it is
to fail to go out after whatever it is
to fail to go out after whatever it is you want no matter what age you are no
you want no matter what age you are no
you want no matter what age you are no matter what stories you’re telling
matter what stories you’re telling
matter what stories you’re telling yourself you gave yourself permission to
yourself you gave yourself permission to
yourself you gave yourself permission to be human and extended that back to those
be human and extended that back to those
be human and extended that back to those around you
around you
around you for me gratitude was the gatekeeper it
for me gratitude was the gatekeeper it
for me gratitude was the gatekeeper it shifted my energy immediately it still
shifted my energy immediately it still
shifted my energy immediately it still does but to get home to me to stand here
does but to get home to me to stand here
does but to get home to me to stand here fully free not feeling like a fraud in
fully free not feeling like a fraud in
fully free not feeling like a fraud in my feet compassion was the way home
my feet compassion was the way home
my feet compassion was the way home that’s a dirty word in the athletic
that’s a dirty word in the athletic
that’s a dirty word in the athletic arena self compassion it’s pity excuses
arena self compassion it’s pity excuses
arena self compassion it’s pity excuses make you weak you know what the data
make you weak you know what the data
make you weak you know what the data shows that’s the key to rising being
shows that’s the key to rising being
shows that’s the key to rising being able to meet yourself with compassion
able to meet yourself with compassion
able to meet yourself with compassion instead of making a mistake and beating
instead of making a mistake and beating
instead of making a mistake and beating yourself up for it you make a mistake
yourself up for it you make a mistake
yourself up for it you make a mistake who all right
who all right
who all right regroup I don’t like the way that feels
regroup I don’t like the way that feels
regroup I don’t like the way that feels I’m disappointed I’m angry whatever it
I’m disappointed I’m angry whatever it
I’m disappointed I’m angry whatever it is that you feel you regroup you get
is that you feel you regroup you get
is that you feel you regroup you get back up you own it you’re more
back up you own it you’re more
back up you own it you’re more accountable and then you lead with
accountable and then you lead with
accountable and then you lead with intention because self compassion isn’t
intention because self compassion isn’t
intention because self compassion isn’t accepting where you are it’s meeting
accepting where you are it’s meeting
accepting where you are it’s meeting yourself and saying I’m human here I now
yourself and saying I’m human here I now
yourself and saying I’m human here I now see a girl on a mission to live out her
see a girl on a mission to live out her
see a girl on a mission to live out her childhood dream that followed in the
childhood dream that followed in the
childhood dream that followed in the that followed her inner magic in those
that followed her inner magic in those
that followed her inner magic in those polls of her inner wisdom and I also see
polls of her inner wisdom and I also see
polls of her inner wisdom and I also see an 18 year old both are true who was
an 18 year old both are true who was
an 18 year old both are true who was wounded and cut open by the words of
wounded and cut open by the words of
wounded and cut open by the words of people closest to her all of it true we
people closest to her all of it true we
people closest to her all of it true we cannot control the curveballs that come
cannot control the curveballs that come
cannot control the curveballs that come our way we always can control how we
our way we always can control how we
our way we always can control how we respond and lastly
respond and lastly
respond and lastly that responding that’s our rising our
that responding that’s our rising our
that responding that’s our rising our resiliency that is where we step back
resiliency that is where we step back
resiliency that is where we step back into the driver’s seat of our life and
into the driver’s seat of our life and
into the driver’s seat of our life and we live our dreams thank you
”
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