it may have wind in my very first day a summer vacation but I was already all
summer vacation but I was already all
summer vacation but I was already all set to start high school and I was set
set to start high school and I was set
set to start high school and I was set to take ninth grade by storm
to take ninth grade by storm
to take ninth grade by storm I already begun to fantasize about the
I already begun to fantasize about the
I already begun to fantasize about the incredible things I would do when I got
incredible things I would do when I got
incredible things I would do when I got there my summer goal was to learn Eddie
there my summer goal was to learn Eddie
there my summer goal was to learn Eddie Van Halen’s eruption guitar solo so I
Van Halen’s eruption guitar solo so I
Van Halen’s eruption guitar solo so I could shred it ed ammonia assembly I was
could shred it ed ammonia assembly I was
could shred it ed ammonia assembly I was the turned her butt off all summer so I
the turned her butt off all summer so I
the turned her butt off all summer so I can make varsity soccer as a freshman
can make varsity soccer as a freshman
can make varsity soccer as a freshman and I was intent on continuing my middle
and I was intent on continuing my middle
and I was intent on continuing my middle school long academic streak of earning
school long academic streak of earning
school long academic streak of earning high honors the use of the thoughts and
high honors the use of the thoughts and
high honors the use of the thoughts and aspirations racing through my head as I
aspirations racing through my head as I
aspirations racing through my head as I sat joking around some of my closest
sat joking around some of my closest
sat joking around some of my closest friends at midnight June 27 2015 I was
friends at midnight June 27 2015 I was
friends at midnight June 27 2015 I was there for an eighth grade graduation
there for an eighth grade graduation
there for an eighth grade graduation party when suddenly my laughter was
party when suddenly my laughter was
party when suddenly my laughter was interrupted by a headache worse than
interrupted by a headache worse than
interrupted by a headache worse than anything out of her film I complained
anything out of her film I complained
anything out of her film I complained that my headache was so bad I need to go
that my headache was so bad I need to go
that my headache was so bad I need to go upstairs and grab some Advil but I half
upstairs and grab some Advil but I half
upstairs and grab some Advil but I half way up the stairs i sat down put my head
way up the stairs i sat down put my head
way up the stairs i sat down put my head in my hands and complained that I
in my hands and complained that I
in my hands and complained that I couldn’t go any farther only minutes
couldn’t go any farther only minutes
couldn’t go any farther only minutes later I threw up passed out and my
later I threw up passed out and my
later I threw up passed out and my friends Ashley called 9-1-1
three weeks later I woke up from a coma
three weeks later I woke up from a coma my earliest memory started being wheeled
my earliest memory started being wheeled
my earliest memory started being wheeled through a hospital many of them artists
through a hospital many of them artists
through a hospital many of them artists me opening my eyes for a few seconds
me opening my eyes for a few seconds
me opening my eyes for a few seconds closing them and then nothing during my
closing them and then nothing during my
closing them and then nothing during my first conscious weeks I was covered in
first conscious weeks I was covered in
first conscious weeks I was covered in wires had tubes on my nose and throat
wires had tubes on my nose and throat
wires had tubes on my nose and throat had significant cognitive deficits and
had significant cognitive deficits and
had significant cognitive deficits and memory loss wasn’t still and partially
memory loss wasn’t still and partially
memory loss wasn’t still and partially lying for the rest of my life and I was
lying for the rest of my life and I was
lying for the rest of my life and I was fully paralyzed ever left on my spinal
fully paralyzed ever left on my spinal
fully paralyzed ever left on my spinal cord I couldn’t sit up couldn’t walk
cord I couldn’t sit up couldn’t walk
cord I couldn’t sit up couldn’t walk couldn’t talk couldn’t read and I
couldn’t talk couldn’t read and I
couldn’t talk couldn’t read and I couldn’t even write my name on a piece
couldn’t even write my name on a piece
couldn’t even write my name on a piece of paper
my doctor said I’d be lucky to walk
my doctor said I’d be lucky to walk again returning to school was not a win
again returning to school was not a win
again returning to school was not a win but an if still not entirely sure what
but an if still not entirely sure what
but an if still not entirely sure what my diagnosis entailed and being the
my diagnosis entailed and being the
my diagnosis entailed and being the monster to turn kid I was that year
monster to turn kid I was that year
monster to turn kid I was that year after hearing of my new condition of
after hearing of my new condition of
after hearing of my new condition of course the first word that popped in my
course the first word that popped in my
course the first word that popped in my head was now it’s gonna be really hard
head was now it’s gonna be really hard
head was now it’s gonna be really hard to make varsity soccer but then again I
to make varsity soccer but then again I
to make varsity soccer but then again I was on tons of drugs
my original monitor wants something like
my original monitor wants something like I’m not going to let this incident
I’m not going to let this incident
I’m not going to let this incident affect me at all and I’m going to get
affect me at all and I’m going to get
affect me at all and I’m going to get back he’s a ski I used to be but I think
back he’s a ski I used to be but I think
back he’s a ski I used to be but I think I’m still kind of realized this
I’m still kind of realized this
I’m still kind of realized this experience will transform me for the
experience will transform me for the
experience will transform me for the rest of my life he won’t make me worse
rest of my life he won’t make me worse
rest of my life he won’t make me worse and it certainly won’t make me better
and it certainly won’t make me better
and it certainly won’t make me better it is only helping me to embrace and
it is only helping me to embrace and
it is only helping me to embrace and embody true me after the night of my
embody true me after the night of my
embody true me after the night of my original instant I spent a month and a
original instant I spent a month and a
original instant I spent a month and a half looking at Boston Children’s as it
half looking at Boston Children’s as it
half looking at Boston Children’s as it turns out the cause of my incident was a
turns out the cause of my incident was a
turns out the cause of my incident was a brain hemorrhage caused by an AVM or
brain hemorrhage caused by an AVM or
brain hemorrhage caused by an AVM or arterial venous malformation which is
arterial venous malformation which is
arterial venous malformation which is the tangle of admiral and poorly formed
the tangle of admiral and poorly formed
the tangle of admiral and poorly formed blood vessels the night of my hemorrhage
blood vessels the night of my hemorrhage
blood vessels the night of my hemorrhage the AVM ruptured and I was rushed to the
the AVM ruptured and I was rushed to the
the AVM ruptured and I was rushed to the hospital
hospital
hospital ride holes drilled in my skull and
ride holes drilled in my skull and
ride holes drilled in my skull and drains inserted into my brain to relieve
drains inserted into my brain to relieve
drains inserted into my brain to relieve the swelling then surgeons running ty
the swelling then surgeons running ty
the swelling then surgeons running ty brain to south of bleeding and remove
brain to south of bleeding and remove
brain to south of bleeding and remove the excess blood along I ever and
the excess blood along I ever and
the excess blood along I ever and continue to function did this just in
continue to function did this just in
continue to function did this just in time since by that point I only hadn’t
time since by that point I only hadn’t
time since by that point I only hadn’t estimated 30 minutes left to live
once Ryan had brain had somewhat
once Ryan had brain had somewhat recovered I need it got the AVM fully
recovered I need it got the AVM fully
recovered I need it got the AVM fully removed because if I didn’t it was
removed because if I didn’t it was
removed because if I didn’t it was likely to cause another hemorrhage about
likely to cause another hemorrhage about
likely to cause another hemorrhage about six weeks later I had a long complicated
six weeks later I had a long complicated
six weeks later I had a long complicated surgery my surgeons worked for 14
surgery my surgeons worked for 14
surgery my surgeons worked for 14 straight hours from 7 in the morning to
straight hours from 7 in the morning to
straight hours from 7 in the morning to 9 at night and to ultimately successful
shortly after I was transferred to
shortly after I was transferred to Spaulding rehab hospital I remember
Spaulding rehab hospital I remember
Spaulding rehab hospital I remember spending our it’s reeling to walk with
spending our it’s reeling to walk with
spending our it’s reeling to walk with to sweating physical therapists working
to sweating physical therapists working
to sweating physical therapists working together to just try to hold me up I had
together to just try to hold me up I had
together to just try to hold me up I had absolutely no move in my left leg so I
absolutely no move in my left leg so I
absolutely no move in my left leg so I would wear this advice called a like I
would wear this advice called a like I
would wear this advice called a like I mobilizer
mobilizer
mobilizer one physical therapist would move up
one physical therapist would move up
one physical therapist would move up would move my left leg forward for me
would move my left leg forward for me
would move my left leg forward for me out the other word hugging my chest to
out the other word hugging my chest to
out the other word hugging my chest to keep me from falling down as I stepped
keep me from falling down as I stepped
keep me from falling down as I stepped forward at the right at that time trying
forward at the right at that time trying
forward at the right at that time trying to walk or is that her probably saying
to walk or is that her probably saying
to walk or is that her probably saying trying to limp was so exhausting that I
trying to limp was so exhausting that I
trying to limp was so exhausting that I would often return to my hospital bed
would often return to my hospital bed
would often return to my hospital bed from physical therapy and just sleep for
from physical therapy and just sleep for
from physical therapy and just sleep for the remainder of the day additionally
the remainder of the day additionally
the remainder of the day additionally wall hospital I need help with almost
wall hospital I need help with almost
wall hospital I need help with almost every aspect of my daily life and I
every aspect of my daily life and I
every aspect of my daily life and I would never have expected to want so
would never have expected to want so
would never have expected to want so badly to return to just doing my own
badly to return to just doing my own
badly to return to just doing my own chores
that’s swelling I’m has some really sick
that’s swelling I’m has some really sick kids and heard some really really sad
kids and heard some really really sad
kids and heard some really really sad stories
stories
stories I met one boy who is hockey trained
I met one boy who is hockey trained
I met one boy who is hockey trained classically trained cellist and added
classically trained cellist and added
classically trained cellist and added club soccer player sadly he benign nose
club soccer player sadly he benign nose
club soccer player sadly he benign nose brain cancer undergone numerous brain
brain cancer undergone numerous brain
brain cancer undergone numerous brain surgeries the last of which has to
surgeries the last of which has to
surgeries the last of which has to definitely alter his personality
definitely alter his personality
definitely alter his personality I remember watching him walk through the
I remember watching him walk through the
I remember watching him walk through the house periodically hugest lash out
house periodically hugest lash out
house periodically hugest lash out screaming inaudible phrases and crying I
met another boy who’s incredibly content
met another boy who’s incredibly content incredibly bright he’d been shot
incredibly bright he’d been shot
incredibly bright he’d been shot lechuck’s though and he’s barely
lechuck’s though and he’s barely
lechuck’s though and he’s barely survived but Owen defend his following
survived but Owen defend his following
survived but Owen defend his following few years living in Spaulding rehab all
few years living in Spaulding rehab all
few years living in Spaulding rehab all by himself while still trying to
by himself while still trying to
by himself while still trying to graduate high school to D SATs and apply
graduate high school to D SATs and apply
graduate high school to D SATs and apply to colleges
every patient in every room heda’s or
every patient in every room heda’s or her own tragic story seeing and hearing
her own tragic story seeing and hearing
her own tragic story seeing and hearing these stories didn’t realize for once
these stories didn’t realize for once
these stories didn’t realize for once how lochia was when compared with many
how lochia was when compared with many
how lochia was when compared with many many of the other patients I reinforced
many of the other patients I reinforced
many of the other patients I reinforced for me how when scaled appropriately
for me how when scaled appropriately
for me how when scaled appropriately what seemed like immediate problems are
what seemed like immediate problems are
what seemed like immediate problems are setbacks in everyday life were actually
setbacks in everyday life were actually
setbacks in everyday life were actually and significant and emphasized for me
and significant and emphasized for me
and significant and emphasized for me how grateful I now should feel to be
how grateful I now should feel to be
how grateful I now should feel to be alive to be looking comfortably and it
alive to be looking comfortably and it
alive to be looking comfortably and it just be a living well now live in the
just be a living well now live in the
just be a living well now live in the hospital for so long I could really
hospital for so long I could really
hospital for so long I could really appreciate the value of it to getting my
appreciate the value of it to getting my
appreciate the value of it to getting my feelings there would be times in our to
feelings there would be times in our to
feelings there would be times in our to 6ei myself on a problem I thought no one
6ei myself on a problem I thought no one
6ei myself on a problem I thought no one else could possibly understand
else could possibly understand
else could possibly understand struggling to remember who and covered
struggling to remember who and covered
struggling to remember who and covered it who would come to visit me earlier
it who would come to visit me earlier
it who would come to visit me earlier that day but coming up with nothing I
that day but coming up with nothing I
that day but coming up with nothing I would keep it inside for days but once I
would keep it inside for days but once I
would keep it inside for days but once I could finally come up with the right
could finally come up with the right
could finally come up with the right words to describe a horrible feelings to
words to describe a horrible feelings to
words to describe a horrible feelings to someone else it would bring me a sense
someone else it would bring me a sense
someone else it would bring me a sense of comfort not because everyone thought
of comfort not because everyone thought
of comfort not because everyone thought they’d be able to understand me but just
they’d be able to understand me but just
they’d be able to understand me but just because I thought I’d given them the
because I thought I’d given them the
because I thought I’d given them the information to try and then also turn
information to try and then also turn
information to try and then also turn 11th 2015 I was discharged from the
11th 2015 I was discharged from the
11th 2015 I was discharged from the hospital and finally able to go home the
hospital and finally able to go home the
hospital and finally able to go home the days on my Hong Kong and home coin party
days on my Hong Kong and home coin party
days on my Hong Kong and home coin party were some of the first days I thought I
were some of the first days I thought I
were some of the first days I thought I truly felt the immense inspirational
truly felt the immense inspirational
truly felt the immense inspirational power of moral support those were some
power of moral support those were some
power of moral support those were some of the best days of my life
although once I find I finally still it
although once I find I finally still it at home
at home
at home my days were filled with long car rides
my days were filled with long car rides
my days were filled with long car rides doctor’s appointments and outpatient
doctor’s appointments and outpatient
doctor’s appointments and outpatient rehab time after time I would hear that
rehab time after time I would hear that
rehab time after time I would hear that my recovery was going to be a marathon
my recovery was going to be a marathon
my recovery was going to be a marathon not a sprint the more I heard it the
not a sprint the more I heard it the
not a sprint the more I heard it the more I could really load that phrase
additionally I rehab I was consistently
additionally I rehab I was consistently told to accept my new normal and come to
told to accept my new normal and come to
told to accept my new normal and come to terms with why I can cannot do everyone
terms with why I can cannot do everyone
terms with why I can cannot do everyone agreed said afar if I work my butt off I
agreed said afar if I work my butt off I
agreed said afar if I work my butt off I can’t get back to doing the things I
can’t get back to doing the things I
can’t get back to doing the things I love but they’ll never come to me as you
love but they’ll never come to me as you
love but they’ll never come to me as you say as I used to often times the only
say as I used to often times the only
say as I used to often times the only reason I kept working at always because
reason I kept working at always because
reason I kept working at always because I understood that it didn’t have any
I understood that it didn’t have any
I understood that it didn’t have any better options
better options
better options there were times when I would ask myself
there were times when I would ask myself
there were times when I would ask myself questions like will I ever again do
questions like will I ever again do
questions like will I ever again do anything I love will I ever feel as good
anything I love will I ever feel as good
anything I love will I ever feel as good as the old me
as the old me
as the old me or will they ever even feel successful
during times like these I found it
during times like these I found it immensely helpful to talk to other
immensely helpful to talk to other
immensely helpful to talk to other people who had been through experiences
people who had been through experiences
people who had been through experiences similar to mine these conversations
similar to mine these conversations
similar to mine these conversations ratted me with a sense of comfort but I
ratted me with a sense of comfort but I
ratted me with a sense of comfort but I was always looking for some kind of home
was always looking for some kind of home
was always looking for some kind of home run where you’re reframing my situation
run where you’re reframing my situation
run where you’re reframing my situation one now adopt mystically and make all my
one now adopt mystically and make all my
one now adopt mystically and make all my questions and worries disappear
however after numerous discussions I
however after numerous discussions I found myself without the answer I was
found myself without the answer I was
found myself without the answer I was looking for
looking for
looking for it wasn’t till much later that it
it wasn’t till much later that it
it wasn’t till much later that it occurred to me that maybe there isn’t
occurred to me that maybe there isn’t
occurred to me that maybe there isn’t one perfect way to reframe my situation
one perfect way to reframe my situation
one perfect way to reframe my situation or cover myself up I stopped ongoing
or cover myself up I stopped ongoing
or cover myself up I stopped ongoing adversity unfortunately this solution
adversity unfortunately this solution
adversity unfortunately this solution won’t come to me at the snap of a finger
won’t come to me at the snap of a finger
won’t come to me at the snap of a finger rather I’ve come to learn that it will
rather I’ve come to learn that it will
rather I’ve come to learn that it will just be something the back of my mind
just be something the back of my mind
just be something the back of my mind providing me with comfort and wisdom
providing me with comfort and wisdom
providing me with comfort and wisdom from experience now probably when my
from experience now probably when my
from experience now probably when my biggest worries going through all this
biggest worries going through all this
biggest worries going through all this was that I would never again play soccer
was that I would never again play soccer
was that I would never again play soccer as well as I used to but after I thought
as well as I used to but after I thought
as well as I used to but after I thought about it a lot why I love soccer so much
about it a lot why I love soccer so much
about it a lot why I love soccer so much can you not have two key points number
can you not have two key points number
can you not have two key points number one I love doing something I thought I
one I love doing something I thought I
one I love doing something I thought I was really good at and number two I
was really good at and number two I
was really good at and number two I loved doing that thing even more when I
loved doing that thing even more when I
loved doing that thing even more when I got to do it with my best friends it
got to do it with my best friends it
got to do it with my best friends it then encouraged me that a soccer
then encouraged me that a soccer
then encouraged me that a soccer wouldn’t continue being my primary sure
wouldn’t continue being my primary sure
wouldn’t continue being my primary sure particular then I can work hard and also
particular then I can work hard and also
particular then I can work hard and also only get those two key points to apply
only get those two key points to apply
only get those two key points to apply to whichever new activity or team I wind
to whichever new activity or team I wind
to whichever new activity or team I wind up choosing
since my hemorrhage is by no means fully
since my hemorrhage is by no means fully recovered I still struggled to do things
recovered I still struggled to do things
recovered I still struggled to do things with my left arm I’m nowhere near as
with my left arm I’m nowhere near as
with my left arm I’m nowhere near as well as I used to be and I will always
well as I used to be and I will always
well as I used to be and I will always face problems with that partial
face problems with that partial
face problems with that partial blindness I still have a long way to go
blindness I still have a long way to go
blindness I still have a long way to go but two and a half years ago going to
but two and a half years ago going to
but two and a half years ago going to high school full-time like I am now
high school full-time like I am now
high school full-time like I am now seems like only a vague possibility and
seems like only a vague possibility and
seems like only a vague possibility and I never would have imagined to have
I never would have imagined to have
I never would have imagined to have raised over $40,000 in an effort to
raised over $40,000 in an effort to
raised over $40,000 in an effort to thank Boston Children’s Hospital for
thank Boston Children’s Hospital for
thank Boston Children’s Hospital for saving my life looking back I wanted
saving my life looking back I wanted
saving my life looking back I wanted been through and forth but I still had
been through and forth but I still had
been through and forth but I still had to come I try to keep in mind a piece of
to come I try to keep in mind a piece of
to come I try to keep in mind a piece of advice that was given to me about the
advice that was given to me about the
advice that was given to me about the father of a friend he told me that going
father of a friend he told me that going
father of a friend he told me that going through rehab and ultimately the rest of
through rehab and ultimately the rest of
through rehab and ultimately the rest of my life I need to look in all directions
my life I need to look in all directions
my life I need to look in all directions I need to look forward and other people
I need to look forward and other people
I need to look forward and other people are friends of mine who’ve either
are friends of mine who’ve either
are friends of mine who’ve either overcome similar diversity or are now
overcome similar diversity or are now
overcome similar diversity or are now living the way I want to live this is
living the way I want to live this is
living the way I want to live this is necessary to be positive motivated and
necessary to be positive motivated and
necessary to be positive motivated and just working hard every day at the same
just working hard every day at the same
just working hard every day at the same time though I need to remember look
time though I need to remember look
time though I need to remember look backwards those less fortunate and be
backwards those less fortunate and be
backwards those less fortunate and be appreciative of what I have what I’ve
appreciative of what I have what I’ve
appreciative of what I have what I’ve been given and what I’ve accomplished
been given and what I’ve accomplished
been given and what I’ve accomplished and then the final step is to look
and then the final step is to look
and then the final step is to look within and see how experience has
within and see how experience has
within and see how experience has impacted me taught me and also income to
impacted me taught me and also income to
impacted me taught me and also income to change me throughout my unless walls of
change me throughout my unless walls of
change me throughout my unless walls of recovery people continually tell me to
recovery people continually tell me to
recovery people continually tell me to reinvent myself and find my new passions
reinvent myself and find my new passions
reinvent myself and find my new passions I’m still ready to let go of who I was
I’m still ready to let go of who I was
I’m still ready to let go of who I was but I think I am ready to abandon this
but I think I am ready to abandon this
but I think I am ready to abandon this Denis perfect me that attempts to
Denis perfect me that attempts to
Denis perfect me that attempts to uncover the ever-evolving true me thank
uncover the ever-evolving true me thank
uncover the ever-evolving true me thank you guys
you guys
you guys [Applause]
”
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