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The struggle at gendered crossroads | Lotus Carmo | TEDxYouth@Maastricht


we are born there is already a whole

we are born there is already a whole world out there

world out there

world out there in my culture as many others as soon as

in my culture as many others as soon as

in my culture as many others as soon as parents know they will have a kid they

parents know they will have a kid they

parents know they will have a kid they choose name is for the case of being a

choose name is for the case of being a

choose name is for the case of being a girl and names are the case of being a

girl and names are the case of being a

girl and names are the case of being a boy I said they know the sex of the kid

boy I said they know the sex of the kid

boy I said they know the sex of the kid they make sure all things for the girl

they make sure all things for the girl

they make sure all things for the girl are pink and all things for the boy are

are pink and all things for the boy are

are pink and all things for the boy are blue more even there there is a specific

blue more even there there is a specific

blue more even there there is a specific toys for boys as there is specific toys

toys for boys as there is specific toys

toys for boys as there is specific toys for girls I mean in most of the case the

for girls I mean in most of the case the

for girls I mean in most of the case the parents do assume that their kids will

parents do assume that their kids will

parents do assume that their kids will be C genders heterosexuals that they

be C genders heterosexuals that they

be C genders heterosexuals that they grow will like to play with dolls and

grow will like to play with dolls and

grow will like to play with dolls and other grow things and the boys they have

other grow things and the boys they have

other grow things and the boys they have out their phone with toy cars and other

out their phone with toy cars and other

out their phone with toy cars and other boy things the parents do assume that

boy things the parents do assume that

boy things the parents do assume that the kids will grow up with the same

the kids will grow up with the same

the kids will grow up with the same beliefs they are there being towed

beliefs they are there being towed

beliefs they are there being towed buzzer non DS the kids grow up in a

buzzer non DS the kids grow up in a

buzzer non DS the kids grow up in a normative a bubble where I was five

normative a bubble where I was five

normative a bubble where I was five years old I asked my mom for a toy car I

years old I asked my mom for a toy car I

years old I asked my mom for a toy car I had always wanted to have a toy car but

had always wanted to have a toy car but

had always wanted to have a toy car but my mom told me no there is a boy thing

my mom told me no there is a boy thing

my mom told me no there is a boy thing when I was six I remember my mum told me

when I was six I remember my mum told me

when I was six I remember my mum told me something along the lines of when you

something along the lines of when you

something along the lines of when you have a husband

have a husband

have a husband at the point of my life I thought I was

at the point of my life I thought I was

at the point of my life I thought I was a rotten human being I was a broken

a rotten human being I was a broken

a rotten human being I was a broken human being

human being

human being I made it his conclusion since he was

I made it his conclusion since he was

I made it his conclusion since he was not the same as other around me I cried

not the same as other around me I cried

not the same as other around me I cried and I cried in school and the teacher

and I cried in school and the teacher

and I cried in school and the teacher would ask me are you sick but you would

would ask me are you sick but you would

would ask me are you sick but you would never tell her how I feel I never told

never tell her how I feel I never told

never tell her how I feel I never told my parents how I feel

my parents how I feel

my parents how I feel why because I I told it was not normal I

why because I I told it was not normal I

why because I I told it was not normal I told

told

told I was not normal and if they knew they

I was not normal and if they knew they

I was not normal and if they knew they would also cry at this such a young age

would also cry at this such a young age

would also cry at this such a young age I didn’t feel like I may grow however I

I didn’t feel like I may grow however I

I didn’t feel like I may grow however I didn’t feel like I’m a boy either my

didn’t feel like I’m a boy either my

didn’t feel like I’m a boy either my parents call me Dodger I hate a female

parents call me Dodger I hate a female

parents call me Dodger I hate a female name I were a girl closers and I hate a

name I were a girl closers and I hate a

name I were a girl closers and I hate a female genitalia

female genitalia

female genitalia why don’t I was not a girl because I

why don’t I was not a girl because I

why don’t I was not a girl because I just didn’t feel like one gender

just didn’t feel like one gender

just didn’t feel like one gender it’s not about genetalia sex it’s about

it’s not about genetalia sex it’s about

it’s not about genetalia sex it’s about genitalia generates about how you feel

genitalia generates about how you feel

genitalia generates about how you feel yourself and I look at at the gross and

yourself and I look at at the gross and

yourself and I look at at the gross and then I look at me and they I didn’t feel

then I look at me and they I didn’t feel

then I look at me and they I didn’t feel like what I look at the boys and now I

like what I look at the boys and now I

like what I look at the boys and now I look at the me and they didn’t feel like

look at the me and they didn’t feel like

look at the me and they didn’t feel like wow it was simple like that I go with a

wow it was simple like that I go with a

wow it was simple like that I go with a great know thing inside my chest I grow

great know thing inside my chest I grow

great know thing inside my chest I grow with fear a fear of thinking about who I

with fear a fear of thinking about who I

with fear a fear of thinking about who I was who I am a fear which made me try

was who I am a fear which made me try

was who I am a fear which made me try and be what my society and my parents

and be what my society and my parents

and be what my society and my parents told I should be and all these because I

told I should be and all these because I

told I should be and all these because I didn’t want hurt them and it was

didn’t want hurt them and it was

didn’t want hurt them and it was thinking of course I hurt you down

thinking of course I hurt you down

thinking of course I hurt you down because they love me and they think I

because they love me and they think I

because they love me and they think I need to be like this because this is the

need to be like this because this is the

need to be like this because this is the normal so I love them I didn’t want tell

normal so I love them I didn’t want tell

normal so I love them I didn’t want tell down because I don’t want to hurt them

down because I don’t want to hurt them

down because I don’t want to hurt them when I was seven Ching did Emmys for the

when I was seven Ching did Emmys for the

when I was seven Ching did Emmys for the first time the first non-binary person

first time the first non-binary person

first time the first non-binary person she was

she was

she was she participating on the bay to my old

she participating on the bay to my old

she participating on the bay to my old school but back then I didn’t know she

school but back then I didn’t know she

school but back then I didn’t know she was non-binary person because her gender

was non-binary person because her gender

was non-binary person because her gender expression was female gender expression

expression was female gender expression

expression was female gender expression it’s how people to present themselves to

it’s how people to present themselves to

it’s how people to present themselves to the world and these can have relation

the world and these can have relation

the world and these can have relation with gender identity or not and her

with gender identity or not and her

with gender identity or not and her pranams world was female as well there

pranams world was female as well there

pranams world was female as well there is no room for neutral problems for

is no room for neutral problems for

is no room for neutral problems for non-binary people can be no neutral or

non-binary people can be no neutral or

non-binary people can be no neutral or can be she or he it depend the

can be she or he it depend the

can be she or he it depend the preference of each person I feel bad

preference of each person I feel bad

preference of each person I feel bad when people use she or hard to have her

when people use she or hard to have her

when people use she or hard to have her to me so I ask it down for used a or

to me so I ask it down for used a or

to me so I ask it down for used a or down but the best option it’s always ask

down but the best option it’s always ask

down but the best option it’s always ask the person which pronoun it’s better for

the person which pronoun it’s better for

the person which pronoun it’s better for down with which pronoun they feel better

down with which pronoun they feel better

down with which pronoun they feel better it’s really the best option well well I

it’s really the best option well well I

it’s really the best option well well I meet you her after some days I watch a

meet you her after some days I watch a

meet you her after some days I watch a video when she started saying I’m not a

video when she started saying I’m not a

video when she started saying I’m not a male I’m not a woman and I could not

male I’m not a woman and I could not

male I’m not a woman and I could not tell you what’s the simple fact of

tell you what’s the simple fact of

tell you what’s the simple fact of knowing about the existence of another

knowing about the existence of another

knowing about the existence of another person who wasn’t in these two genders

person who wasn’t in these two genders

person who wasn’t in these two genders has done to me I just feel like I was

has done to me I just feel like I was

has done to me I just feel like I was normal

normal

normal yeah and down few time after I told my

yeah and down few time after I told my

yeah and down few time after I told my my friends and others I was non-binary

my friends and others I was non-binary

my friends and others I was non-binary transgender person and I finally was

transgender person and I finally was

transgender person and I finally was escaped the bubble

you know most of the time the plans work

you know most of the time the plans work the kids becomes heterosexual just as

the kids becomes heterosexual just as

the kids becomes heterosexual just as the parents hope they vote but what’s

the parents hope they vote but what’s

the parents hope they vote but what’s happening if each doesn’t what’s

happening if each doesn’t what’s

happening if each doesn’t what’s happening if they they grow which who

happening if they they grow which who

happening if they they grow which who showed like playing with dolls prefer

showed like playing with dolls prefer

showed like playing with dolls prefer cars what is the consequence of it

cars what is the consequence of it

cars what is the consequence of it have you been ever being afraid to tell

have you been ever being afraid to tell

have you been ever being afraid to tell your parents how you also filled

your parents how you also filled

your parents how you also filled have you been ever have you ever been

have you been ever have you ever been

have you been ever have you ever been afraid to tell something important about

afraid to tell something important about

afraid to tell something important about yourself to someone you love because it

yourself to someone you love because it

yourself to someone you love because it might change your relationship this

might change your relationship this

might change your relationship this happened just when just when I find the

happened just when just when I find the

happened just when just when I find the dispersal I I started feeling there’s

dispersal I I started feeling there’s

dispersal I I started feeling there’s nothing wrong with me I wasn’t alone and

nothing wrong with me I wasn’t alone and

nothing wrong with me I wasn’t alone and this is what happening when people find

this is what happening when people find

this is what happening when people find something someone who can represent the

something someone who can represent the

something someone who can represent the person the name of this is

person the name of this is

person the name of this is representativeness and doesn’t matter

representativeness and doesn’t matter

representativeness and doesn’t matter what kind of identity we talk about if

what kind of identity we talk about if

what kind of identity we talk about if his gender sexual orientation religion

his gender sexual orientation religion

his gender sexual orientation religion ethnicity representativeness merits and

ethnicity representativeness merits and

ethnicity representativeness merits and it is not marriages for the person who

it is not marriages for the person who

it is not marriages for the person who already have all identity it most

already have all identity it most

already have all identity it most meirin’s for the person for the people

meirin’s for the person for the people

meirin’s for the person for the people are used to trying find finger right

are used to trying find finger right

are used to trying find finger right their identities I’m not saying don’t

their identities I’m not saying don’t

their identities I’m not saying don’t have representativeness in the word I’m

have representativeness in the word I’m

have representativeness in the word I’m saying the Bible have just

saying the Bible have just

saying the Bible have just some people’s representativeness I mean

in the books in TV and in every single

in the books in TV and in every single thing there’s out even before the child

thing there’s out even before the child

thing there’s out even before the child born exist just few people’s

born exist just few people’s

born exist just few people’s representative in ease and maybe you you

representative in ease and maybe you you

representative in ease and maybe you you can’t know how important it’s for a

can’t know how important it’s for a

can’t know how important it’s for a child for a children seen themselves in

child for a children seen themselves in

child for a children seen themselves in the toys or des Princes superhero on TV

the toys or des Princes superhero on TV

the toys or des Princes superhero on TV so I will show you a few examples this

so I will show you a few examples this

so I will show you a few examples this is one example of ethnicity

is one example of ethnicity

is one example of ethnicity representativeness and this is one

representativeness and this is one

representativeness and this is one example of disabilities

example of disabilities

example of disabilities representativeness and I think how can

representativeness and I think how can

representativeness and I think how can you guys see the children are happy very

you guys see the children are happy very

you guys see the children are happy very happy is a red heaven but now I will

happy is a red heaven but now I will

happy is a red heaven but now I will show for you

show for you

show for you some examples about transgender

some examples about transgender

some examples about transgender representativeness this book

representativeness this book

representativeness this book I’m jazz jazz is a transgender for Nazis

I’m jazz jazz is a transgender for Nazis

I’m jazz jazz is a transgender for Nazis days and she made this book and his ages

days and she made this book and his ages

days and she made this book and his ages always knew she was different from other

always knew she was different from other

always knew she was different from other kids

kids

kids she had a grow brown and a boy body this

she had a grow brown and a boy body this

she had a grow brown and a boy body this is her answering I don’t mind being

is her answering I don’t mind being

is her answering I don’t mind being different different is the special I

different different is the special I

different different is the special I think what matters much is what a person

think what matters much is what a person

think what matters much is what a person it’s like inside and inside I’m happy

it’s like inside and inside I’m happy

it’s like inside and inside I’m happy I’m having fun I’m proud I’m Jess she

I’m having fun I’m proud I’m Jess she

I’m having fun I’m proud I’m Jess she meeting with some transgender kids this

meeting with some transgender kids this

meeting with some transgender kids this is other other books for transgenders

is other other books for transgenders

is other other books for transgenders about transgenders others and homosexual

about transgenders others and homosexual

about transgenders others and homosexual as well and these it some examples

as well and these it some examples

as well and these it some examples unnecessary about transgender

unnecessary about transgender

unnecessary about transgender people but how some children are happy

people but how some children are happy

people but how some children are happy because they can use wherever they want

because they can use wherever they want

because they can use wherever they want and have forever toy they want from the

and have forever toy they want from the

and have forever toy they want from the moment where we need you to show the

moment where we need you to show the

moment where we need you to show the word for someone and this happening

word for someone and this happening

word for someone and this happening especially with children we have a great

especially with children we have a great

especially with children we have a great responsibility for shaping their

responsibility for shaping their

responsibility for shaping their personalities their identities and when

personalities their identities and when

personalities their identities and when we have these we have two options we can

we have these we have two options we can

we have these we have two options we can show just one one view one word

show just one one view one word

show just one one view one word persective which can make the person

persective which can make the person

persective which can make the person feet or not or you can give the people

feet or not or you can give the people

feet or not or you can give the people multiple perspectives and then they can

multiple perspectives and then they can

multiple perspectives and then they can find themselves I’m this is not about

find themselves I’m this is not about

find themselves I’m this is not about encouraging people in stop telling

encouraging people in stop telling

encouraging people in stop telling stories about princes Prince and

stories about princes Prince and

stories about princes Prince and precincts it’s not about never give a

precincts it’s not about never give a

precincts it’s not about never give a growth dolls and other growly things

growth dolls and other growly things

growth dolls and other growly things this is a boat you need you tell these

this is a boat you need you tell these

this is a boat you need you tell these stories but you must need to tell others

stories but you must need to tell others

stories but you must need to tell others to you you can give a doll for a girl

to you you can give a doll for a girl

to you you can give a doll for a girl but you can give a toy car for a boy but

but you can give a toy car for a boy but

but you can give a toy car for a boy but when why not give will not let don’t

when why not give will not let don’t

when why not give will not let don’t choose because whenever you you tell for

choose because whenever you you tell for

choose because whenever you you tell for purdell just one type of either with

purdell just one type of either with

purdell just one type of either with just one type of kapil whenever you say

just one type of kapil whenever you say

just one type of kapil whenever you say for the kids they they kill pledges with

for the kids they they kill pledges with

for the kids they they kill pledges with won’t conduct how what you are doing

won’t conduct how what you are doing

won’t conduct how what you are doing it’s neutralizing things there is not

it’s neutralizing things there is not

it’s neutralizing things there is not nature and much important you are saying

nature and much important you are saying

nature and much important you are saying everything and anything outside of this

everything and anything outside of this

everything and anything outside of this narrative it’s abnormal we are all

narrative it’s abnormal we are all

narrative it’s abnormal we are all potential products of representativeness

potential products of representativeness

potential products of representativeness and now I want you think which kind of

and now I want you think which kind of

and now I want you think which kind of happy

happy

happy and achieve knees you won’t put out

and achieve knees you won’t put out

and achieve knees you won’t put out there if you want give a multiply word

there if you want give a multiply word

there if you want give a multiply word perspectives and then let the people

perspectives and then let the people

perspectives and then let the people find themselves for down finally no one

find themselves for down finally no one

find themselves for down finally no one feel like Frank by being what they are

feel like Frank by being what they are

feel like Frank by being what they are thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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