how many times have we been told if we want something just ask for it go be
want something just ask for it go be
want something just ask for it go be courageous go be bold but it’s not that
courageous go be bold but it’s not that
courageous go be bold but it’s not that simple asking for things is really
simple asking for things is really
simple asking for things is really really hard it brings up feelings of
really hard it brings up feelings of
really hard it brings up feelings of inadequacy and fear it’s really
inadequacy and fear it’s really
inadequacy and fear it’s really miserable
miserable
miserable trying to ask for a raise or ask for a
trying to ask for a raise or ask for a
trying to ask for a raise or ask for a new job and if you think that’s really
new job and if you think that’s really
new job and if you think that’s really tough you should know what it’s like to
tough you should know what it’s like to
tough you should know what it’s like to try to raise money for a start-up one of
try to raise money for a start-up one of
try to raise money for a start-up one of the things that I really feel passionate
the things that I really feel passionate
the things that I really feel passionate about is the dwindling numbers of women
about is the dwindling numbers of women
about is the dwindling numbers of women in technology the technology industry in
in technology the technology industry in
in technology the technology industry in particular suffers from issues of the
particular suffers from issues of the
particular suffers from issues of the wage gap from lack of women in
wage gap from lack of women in
wage gap from lack of women in management positions and the gender
management positions and the gender
management positions and the gender divide for funding for female founded
divide for funding for female founded
divide for funding for female founded companies is as much as seven point
companies is as much as seven point
companies is as much as seven point seven billion dollars per year what if
seven billion dollars per year what if
seven billion dollars per year what if there was a simple way to start a
there was a simple way to start a
there was a simple way to start a solution for this what if there is an
solution for this what if there is an
solution for this what if there is an easier way to try to move the numbers
easier way to try to move the numbers
easier way to try to move the numbers well I think one of the ways is for
well I think one of the ways is for
well I think one of the ways is for women to ask but not so simple as that
women to ask but not so simple as that
women to ask but not so simple as that it’s a skill set like riding a bike and
it’s a skill set like riding a bike and
it’s a skill set like riding a bike and it’s something that you can learn we can
it’s something that you can learn we can
it’s something that you can learn we can take the fear away from it when we think
take the fear away from it when we think
take the fear away from it when we think of it as a process I call this three
of it as a process I call this three
of it as a process I call this three noes to a yes number one know your
noes to a yes number one know your
noes to a yes number one know your audience
audience
audience number two know yourself and number
number two know yourself and number
number two know yourself and number three no doesn’t mean no forever men
three no doesn’t mean no forever men
three no doesn’t mean no forever men have been practicing this skillset
have been practicing this skillset
have been practicing this skillset forever from the time they’ve been 15
forever from the time they’ve been 15
forever from the time they’ve been 15 years old they’ve been asking girls on a
years old they’ve been asking girls on a
years old they’ve been asking girls on a date one after the other after the other
date one after the other after the other
date one after the other after the other after the other pretty soon they get to
after the other pretty soon they get to
after the other pretty soon they get to yes their persistence is rewarded and
yes their persistence is rewarded and
yes their persistence is rewarded and they start to build muscle memory while
they start to build muscle memory while
they start to build muscle memory while women are taught to sit back and wait
women are taught to sit back and wait
women are taught to sit back and wait make themselves attractive and someone
make themselves attractive and someone
make themselves attractive and someone will come to you well when you’re
will come to you well when you’re
will come to you well when you’re building a business or when you’re
building a business or when you’re
building a business or when you’re looking for a raise making yourself
looking for a raise making yourself
looking for a raise making yourself attractive working really hard and
attractive working really hard and
attractive working really hard and sitting back and waiting is not going to
sitting back and waiting is not going to
sitting back and waiting is not going to work you need to ask and keep asking in
work you need to ask and keep asking in
work you need to ask and keep asking in 1991 I learned the skill set of the ask
1991 I learned the skill set of the ask
1991 I learned the skill set of the ask I was a lawyer before I got into tack
I was a lawyer before I got into tack
I was a lawyer before I got into tack and it was a terrible time to be a
and it was a terrible time to be a
and it was a terrible time to be a lawyer the economy was in terrible shape
lawyer the economy was in terrible shape
lawyer the economy was in terrible shape the law firms were cutting associate
the law firms were cutting associate
the law firms were cutting associate classes by 70% and still people were
classes by 70% and still people were
classes by 70% and still people were pouring into law school because of a hit
pouring into law school because of a hit
pouring into law school because of a hit TV show called la law so I sent out my
TV show called la law so I sent out my
TV show called la law so I sent out my resumes I interviewed over and over
resumes I interviewed over and over
resumes I interviewed over and over again and heard lots and lots and lots
again and heard lots and lots and lots
again and heard lots and lots and lots of knows I was really discouraged at the
of knows I was really discouraged at the
of knows I was really discouraged at the time probably I wasn’t hitting the right
time probably I wasn’t hitting the right
time probably I wasn’t hitting the right audience I was looking for people who
audience I was looking for people who
audience I was looking for people who really had limited capacity to hire and
really had limited capacity to hire and
really had limited capacity to hire and really weren’t interested in the skill
really weren’t interested in the skill
really weren’t interested in the skill so that I had of both the law and
so that I had of both the law and
so that I had of both the law and language from working in Tokyo so when I
language from working in Tokyo so when I
language from working in Tokyo so when I saw an article in a crane Chicago
saw an article in a crane Chicago
saw an article in a crane Chicago business about a new firm that was
business about a new firm that was
business about a new firm that was starting up that was doing cross-border
starting up that was doing cross-border
starting up that was doing cross-border work between the United States and Asia
work between the United States and Asia
work between the United States and Asia I decided to call them up I asked you
I decided to call them up I asked you
I decided to call them up I asked you know I’m a perfect fit for you I have a
know I’m a perfect fit for you I have a
know I’m a perfect fit for you I have a law degree I’ve also worked in Asia
law degree I’ve also worked in Asia
law degree I’ve also worked in Asia let’s have a conversation so we had a
let’s have a conversation so we had a
let’s have a conversation so we had a really great talk and I thought things
really great talk and I thought things
really great talk and I thought things were really going well and I said so do
were really going well and I said so do
were really going well and I said so do you see me as a fit in your company they
you see me as a fit in your company they
you see me as a fit in your company they said well we’re not hiring for lawyers
said well we’re not hiring for lawyers
said well we’re not hiring for lawyers right now but I asked I said are you
right now but I asked I said are you
right now but I asked I said are you hiring for anything else and they said
hiring for anything else and they said
hiring for anything else and they said yes we’re looking for a receptionist and
yes we’re looking for a receptionist and
yes we’re looking for a receptionist and I said I’ll take it so as a successful
I said I’ll take it so as a successful
I said I’ll take it so as a successful attorney with international law
attorney with international law
attorney with international law experience I took a job at a company as
experience I took a job at a company as
experience I took a job at a company as a receptionist for $27,000 a year when
a receptionist for $27,000 a year when
a receptionist for $27,000 a year when my peers were making a tea but I was in
my peers were making a tea but I was in
my peers were making a tea but I was in a space that I loved and I had a job I
a space that I loved and I had a job I
a space that I loved and I had a job I worked really hard and I started to work
worked really hard and I started to work
worked really hard and I started to work on more and more deals in the company so
on more and more deals in the company so
on more and more deals in the company so as you can imagine working 12 hours a
as you can imagine working 12 hours a
as you can imagine working 12 hours a day I was very very frustrated to find
day I was very very frustrated to find
day I was very very frustrated to find out that a gentleman that was younger
out that a gentleman that was younger
out that a gentleman that was younger than I was with less experience less
than I was with less experience less
than I was with less experience less education doing the same job was making
education doing the same job was making
education doing the same job was making more than twice as much so I went into
more than twice as much so I went into
more than twice as much so I went into my boss and I asked him why this was and
my boss and I asked him why this was and
my boss and I asked him why this was and what we could do about it
what we could do about it
what we could do about it well he didn’t have a good answer for me
well he didn’t have a good answer for me
well he didn’t have a good answer for me as to why but he did raise my salary to
as to why but he did raise my salary to
as to why but he did raise my salary to $36,000 a year he said at the time
$36,000 a year he said at the time
$36,000 a year he said at the time that’s the largest sell regular and
that’s the largest sell regular and
that’s the largest sell regular and you’ll ever get I said
you’ll ever get I said
you’ll ever get I said I think you’re wrong so asking is never
I think you’re wrong so asking is never
I think you’re wrong so asking is never stop for me many people don’t realize
stop for me many people don’t realize
stop for me many people don’t realize that venture capitalists when they’re
that venture capitalists when they’re
that venture capitalists when they’re building a fund have to go out and in
building a fund have to go out and in
building a fund have to go out and in basque investors to invest in their fund
basque investors to invest in their fund
basque investors to invest in their fund before they can turn around and invest
before they can turn around and invest
before they can turn around and invest in other people’s businesses so there’s
in other people’s businesses so there’s
in other people’s businesses so there’s lots and lots of asking and lots and
lots and lots of asking and lots and
lots and lots of asking and lots and lots of nose and those nose can become
lots of nose and those nose can become
lots of nose and those nose can become very very discouraging i still feel a
very very discouraging i still feel a
very very discouraging i still feel a little kick in my stomach every time
little kick in my stomach every time
little kick in my stomach every time someone says to me that they don’t feel
someone says to me that they don’t feel
someone says to me that they don’t feel what I’m building is valuable or that
what I’m building is valuable or that
what I’m building is valuable or that they think that the funding gap for
they think that the funding gap for
they think that the funding gap for women is because they aren’t building
women is because they aren’t building
women is because they aren’t building interesting companies aren’t doing
interesting companies aren’t doing
interesting companies aren’t doing things that are large enough but I
things that are large enough but I
things that are large enough but I persist and keep on and I keep asking so
persist and keep on and I keep asking so
persist and keep on and I keep asking so if you’re ready to ask how can you do it
if you’re ready to ask how can you do it
if you’re ready to ask how can you do it what’s the skillset the Reno’s – yes so
what’s the skillset the Reno’s – yes so
what’s the skillset the Reno’s – yes so the first know your audience this is one
the first know your audience this is one
the first know your audience this is one sometimes men sort of struggle with when
sometimes men sort of struggle with when
sometimes men sort of struggle with when I go to a conference men do not stare at
I go to a conference men do not stare at
I go to a conference men do not stare at my breasts they stare at my nametag the
my breasts they stare at my nametag the
my breasts they stare at my nametag the one that says investor they come
one that says investor they come
one that says investor they come straight up to me and start launching
straight up to me and start launching
straight up to me and start launching into a pitch if they’d stopped and taken
into a pitch if they’d stopped and taken
into a pitch if they’d stopped and taken a few minutes to find out what I’m
a few minutes to find out what I’m
a few minutes to find out what I’m interested in they’d have a much better
interested in they’d have a much better
interested in they’d have a much better chance a much better opportunity of
chance a much better opportunity of
chance a much better opportunity of finding out what I want and well how we
finding out what I want and well how we
finding out what I want and well how we could work together but they don’t so
could work together but they don’t so
could work together but they don’t so then number two is know yourself this is
then number two is know yourself this is
then number two is know yourself this is your value proposition this is
your value proposition this is
your value proposition this is self-knowledge and this is something
self-knowledge and this is something
self-knowledge and this is something that kids sometimes struggle with
that kids sometimes struggle with
that kids sometimes struggle with they’re really really persistent and
they’re really really persistent and
they’re really really persistent and they know who the right audience is the
they know who the right audience is the
they know who the right audience is the parents with all the money but they
parents with all the money but they
parents with all the money but they don’t ever communicate what their value
don’t ever communicate what their value
don’t ever communicate what their value proposition is I think we all remember
proposition is I think we all remember
proposition is I think we all remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Veruca saying daddy I want an
Veruca saying daddy I want an
Veruca saying daddy I want an oompa-loompa now well she was really
oompa-loompa now well she was really
oompa-loompa now well she was really persistent she had the right audience
persistent she had the right audience
persistent she had the right audience but absolutely no value proposition if
but absolutely no value proposition if
but absolutely no value proposition if you don’t have self-knowledge then the
you don’t have self-knowledge then the
you don’t have self-knowledge then the ask just becomes a demand it’s really
ask just becomes a demand it’s really
ask just becomes a demand it’s really important to know your value when people
important to know your value when people
important to know your value when people are asking for a raise
are asking for a raise
are asking for a raise sometimes I say to them just throw out
sometimes I say to them just throw out
sometimes I say to them just throw out your regular resume it’s worthless what
your regular resume it’s worthless what
your regular resume it’s worthless what you really need to put together is a
you really need to put together is a
you really need to put together is a value resume a place so you can show
value resume a place so you can show
value resume a place so you can show exactly what you’ve contributed and what
exactly what you’ve contributed and what
exactly what you’ve contributed and what value you brought to the company that’s
value you brought to the company that’s
value you brought to the company that’s going to do it and you can refer back to
going to do it and you can refer back to
going to do it and you can refer back to that when you ask ok so third no doesn’t
that when you ask ok so third no doesn’t
that when you ask ok so third no doesn’t mean no forever this is where
mean no forever this is where
mean no forever this is where persistence comes back in you have to
persistence comes back in you have to
persistence comes back in you have to keep asking if you found something that
keep asking if you found something that
keep asking if you found something that you really really want you have to
you really really want you have to
you really really want you have to figure out how to navigate around it I
figure out how to navigate around it I
figure out how to navigate around it I didn’t get that job at the investment
didn’t get that job at the investment
didn’t get that job at the investment firm because I took no we’re not hiring
firm because I took no we’re not hiring
firm because I took no we’re not hiring lawyers right now for an answer we live
lawyers right now for an answer we live
lawyers right now for an answer we live in a really complicated and really
in a really complicated and really
in a really complicated and really incredibly competitive world and there
incredibly competitive world and there
incredibly competitive world and there are all kinds of challenges that people
are all kinds of challenges that people
are all kinds of challenges that people are facing that I cannot even begin to
are facing that I cannot even begin to
are facing that I cannot even begin to understand but this is a challenge that
understand but this is a challenge that
understand but this is a challenge that I know all too well it’s a skill set
I know all too well it’s a skill set
I know all too well it’s a skill set it’s a process so now that you have the
it’s a process so now that you have the
it’s a process so now that you have the skill set of the ask go be courageous
skill set of the ask go be courageous
skill set of the ask go be courageous and go be bold
and go be bold
and go be bold [Applause]
”
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