The Resurgence of Hope with Addicts | Guadalupe Lara | TEDxWayneStateU

hello everybody I’m nuclear lata and as

hello everybody I’m nuclear lata and as we said I’m a social worker with over

we said I’m a social worker with over

we said I’m a social worker with over some now 30 plus years of experience

some now 30 plus years of experience

some now 30 plus years of experience serving children and family and Who I am

serving children and family and Who I am

serving children and family and Who I am today is that what it was but I

today is that what it was but I

today is that what it was but I graduated not even more was five years

graduated not even more was five years

graduated not even more was five years ago and I hope who I am five years from

ago and I hope who I am five years from

ago and I hope who I am five years from now is that who I am today because only

now is that who I am today because only

now is that who I am today because only did people are standing still of time

did people are standing still of time

did people are standing still of time and I don’t never to be one of those

and I don’t never to be one of those

and I don’t never to be one of those that at least not anytime soon I’ve

that at least not anytime soon I’ve

that at least not anytime soon I’ve learned the lessons along the way in my

learned the lessons along the way in my

learned the lessons along the way in my training like Jenny social workers we

training like Jenny social workers we

training like Jenny social workers we learn the importance of cognitive

learn the importance of cognitive

learn the importance of cognitive knowledge learning about the professions

knowledge learning about the professions

knowledge learning about the professions skills that we would need to do this

skills that we would need to do this

skills that we would need to do this work to serve others and while the area

work to serve others and while the area

work to serve others and while the area that I focused on initially was

that I focused on initially was

that I focused on initially was gerontology I quickly realized that

gerontology I quickly realized that

gerontology I quickly realized that whenever the needs of people as they

whenever the needs of people as they

whenever the needs of people as they came in the door worth I had to prepare

came in the door worth I had to prepare

came in the door worth I had to prepare myself so besides my professional

myself so besides my professional

myself so besides my professional learning had to have continuous ongoing

learning had to have continuous ongoing

learning had to have continuous ongoing education one of the areas that I did

education one of the areas that I did

education one of the areas that I did not plan to work on was addiction and

not plan to work on was addiction and

not plan to work on was addiction and the topic today is the resurgence of

the topic today is the resurgence of

the topic today is the resurgence of hope with addiction from a personal

hope with addiction from a personal

hope with addiction from a personal perspective as well as from the people

perspective as well as from the people

perspective as well as from the people that I serve I grew up like many social

that I serve I grew up like many social

that I serve I grew up like many social workers learning that if you had an

workers learning that if you had an

workers learning that if you had an addiction alcohol or drugs even like a

addiction alcohol or drugs even like a

addiction alcohol or drugs even like a alcoholic anonymous or he went to

alcoholic anonymous or he went to

alcoholic anonymous or he went to narcotics anonymous and some type of

narcotics anonymous and some type of

narcotics anonymous and some type of complaint and we’re sent in that little

complaint and we’re sent in that little

complaint and we’re sent in that little box but things happen you know like the

box but things happen you know like the

box but things happen you know like the bumper sticker as you move along their

bumper sticker as you move along their

bumper sticker as you move along their life and I was one of its fun event that

life and I was one of its fun event that

life and I was one of its fun event that happened in my life that but I got an

happened in my life that but I got an

happened in my life that but I got an aha moment was a an award 0

aha moment was a an award 0

aha moment was a an award 0 that the National Association of Social

that the National Association of Social

that the National Association of Social Workers was getting me and I brought up

Workers was getting me and I brought up

Workers was getting me and I brought up my mom she blew up here from Texas and

my mom she blew up here from Texas and

my mom she blew up here from Texas and my staff was there we had a big table of

my staff was there we had a big table of

my staff was there we had a big table of the Children’s Hospital and everybody

the Children’s Hospital and everybody

the Children’s Hospital and everybody was very happy and my mom was there

was very happy and my mom was there

was very happy and my mom was there interacting with folks and in walks this

interacting with folks and in walks this

interacting with folks and in walks this gentleman with long hair Oh young boy

gentleman with long hair Oh young boy

gentleman with long hair Oh young boy died and my mother like she forgot who

died and my mother like she forgot who

died and my mother like she forgot who were she just speaks insist look at that

were she just speaks insist look at that

were she just speaks insist look at that man for that long care who I was there

man for that long care who I was there

man for that long care who I was there earth to swallow me you know and I

earth to swallow me you know and I

earth to swallow me you know and I simply um well and she was looking good

simply um well and she was looking good

simply um well and she was looking good that he’s put his hearing the fun for

that he’s put his hearing the fun for

that he’s put his hearing the fun for this event and so I knowing my mom I

this event and so I knowing my mom I

this event and so I knowing my mom I quickly reframed everything and kind of

quickly reframed everything and kind of

quickly reframed everything and kind of changed the topic and I said well I’ve

changed the topic and I said well I’ve

changed the topic and I said well I’ve got to go up to the podium so I move up

got to go up to the podium so I move up

got to go up to the podium so I move up to the stage and lo and behold here

to the stage and lo and behold here

to the stage and lo and behold here comes this gentleman the long hair and

comes this gentleman the long hair and

comes this gentleman the long hair and sits right next to me so I introduced

sits right next to me so I introduced

sits right next to me so I introduced myself and I said oh are you a social or

myself and I said oh are you a social or

myself and I said oh are you a social or better any system are you getting an

better any system are you getting an

better any system are you getting an award tonight two egos yes and I go oh

award tonight two egos yes and I go oh

award tonight two egos yes and I go oh but what is your water kitties that I

but what is your water kitties that I

but what is your water kitties that I might for the Hells Angels that was

might for the Hells Angels that was

might for the Hells Angels that was interesting what is your work with the

interesting what is your work with the

interesting what is your work with the Hells Angels and then he told me his

Hells Angels and then he told me his

Hells Angels and then he told me his story and he’s a recovering addict and

story and he’s a recovering addict and

story and he’s a recovering addict and that he goes with them writing so that

that he goes with them writing so that

that he goes with them writing so that maybe that one day one of them wants to

maybe that one day one of them wants to

maybe that one day one of them wants to change their lifestyle that hopefully

change their lifestyle that hopefully

change their lifestyle that hopefully they can learn something from him and I

they can learn something from him and I

they can learn something from him and I go through the same challenging steps

go through the same challenging steps

go through the same challenging steps that he went through so I upon youngest

that he went through so I upon youngest

that he went through so I upon youngest brother is at it and we certainly had

brother is at it and we certainly had

brother is at it and we certainly had our struggles in our family with family

our struggles in our family with family

our struggles in our family with family and so I said he could ask you a

and so I said he could ask you a

and so I said he could ask you a personal question because we still have

personal question because we still have

personal question because we still have time of there and I said how did she

time of there and I said how did she

time of there and I said how did she finally stopped cuz my brother says it

finally stopped cuz my brother says it

finally stopped cuz my brother says it is very hard and he says

is very hard and he says

is very hard and he says me because your body begins to hurt to

me because your body begins to hurt to

me because your body begins to hurt to have so much pain and you just wanted to

have so much pain and you just wanted to

have so much pain and you just wanted to stop and so you go in to a sinner and

stop and so you go in to a sinner and

stop and so you go in to a sinner and then they begin asking you a lot of

then they begin asking you a lot of

then they begin asking you a lot of questions and telling you a lot of

questions and telling you a lot of

questions and telling you a lot of things what you got to do and I’m

things what you got to do and I’m

things what you got to do and I’m listening and feeling things you know

listening and feeling things you know

listening and feeling things you know myself as a social worker s he’s talking

myself as a social worker s he’s talking

myself as a social worker s he’s talking I’m seeing it remembering things and he

I’m seeing it remembering things and he

I’m seeing it remembering things and he says and and then I try to do what they

says and and then I try to do what they

says and and then I try to do what they told me I try to do everything they say

told me I try to do everything they say

told me I try to do everything they say but then I had a setback and then I

but then I had a setback and then I

but then I had a setback and then I would go back to what I knew my family

would go back to what I knew my family

would go back to what I knew my family would reject me they would get mad at me

would reject me they would get mad at me

would reject me they would get mad at me they tell me I was lying I just wanted

they tell me I was lying I just wanted

they tell me I was lying I just wanted to trick them to give more money from

to trick them to give more money from

to trick them to give more money from them and I go to what I know and then I

them and I go to what I know and then I

them and I go to what I know and then I go to that point in and then I would go

go to that point in and then I would go

go to that point in and then I would go into another place the same thing I

into another place the same thing I

into another place the same thing I would go again and after World these

would go again and after World these

would go again and after World these people at these dinners would say you

people at these dinners would say you

people at these dinners would say you know what you’re not a real candidate

know what you’re not a real candidate

know what you’re not a real candidate for this program you know your urine

for this program you know your urine

for this program you know your urine successful you’re not serious about this

successful you’re not serious about this

successful you’re not serious about this and we need to save our bids for the

and we need to save our bids for the

and we need to save our bids for the good clients and as he’s talking and

good clients and as he’s talking and

good clients and as he’s talking and telling me this like real quick I am

telling me this like real quick I am

telling me this like real quick I am getting so emotional I can hardly even

getting so emotional I can hardly even

getting so emotional I can hardly even concentrate why were there and he’s

concentrate why were there and he’s

concentrate why were there and he’s going on and he said but finally one day

going on and he said but finally one day

going on and he said but finally one day I went into this place and these young

I went into this place and these young

I went into this place and these young little gift even have been like maybe

little gift even have been like maybe

little gift even have been like maybe twenty two of you graduate I guess he

twenty two of you graduate I guess he

twenty two of you graduate I guess he didn’t know the program yet for the

didn’t know the program yet for the

didn’t know the program yet for the protocol was for him to do and he asked

protocol was for him to do and he asked

protocol was for him to do and he asked me something nobody had ever asked him

me something nobody had ever asked him

me something nobody had ever asked him he has employed if you like to do man

he has employed if you like to do man

he has employed if you like to do man and I thought I’m going to tell it

and I thought I’m going to tell it

and I thought I’m going to tell it because you know what he’s probably not

because you know what he’s probably not

because you know what he’s probably not even gonna take me and I told him I

even gonna take me and I told him I

even gonna take me and I told him I would like to tear down my hardest

would like to tear down my hardest

would like to tear down my hardest engine and put it back together his

engine and put it back together his

engine and put it back together his motorcycle engine and and advise it wow

motorcycle engine and and advise it wow

motorcycle engine and and advise it wow that is really cool you know that takes

that is really cool you know that takes

that is really cool you know that takes a lot of intelligence do you think that

a lot of intelligence do you think that

a lot of intelligence do you think that you may want to teach some of the other

you may want to teach some of the other

you may want to teach some of the other guys here how to do that because you can

guys here how to do that because you can

guys here how to do that because you can have a life with that that is really

have a life with that that is really

have a life with that that is really special and he said to me and I was

special and he said to me and I was

special and he said to me and I was liking this so much i thought i might

liking this so much i thought i might

liking this so much i thought i might even

even

even this to my hair and he said no man

this to my hair and he said no man

this to my hair and he said no man unless you want to and he said and that

unless you want to and he said and that

unless you want to and he said and that is the place that I yield myself and I

is the place that I yield myself and I

is the place that I yield myself and I couldn’t wait to go in the car and talk

couldn’t wait to go in the car and talk

couldn’t wait to go in the car and talk to my mom have a good meeting you know

to my mom have a good meeting you know

to my mom have a good meeting you know not just scold her but to tell her mom

not just scold her but to tell her mom

not just scold her but to tell her mom we have been part of this problem of my

we have been part of this problem of my

we have been part of this problem of my brother with aids addiction I said we

brother with aids addiction I said we

brother with aids addiction I said we have been part of this problem because I

have been part of this problem because I

have been part of this problem because I have always said practice for people’s

have always said practice for people’s

have always said practice for people’s strengths are doing try to tell them how

strengths are doing try to tell them how

strengths are doing try to tell them how to change what’s wrong look at what’s

to change what’s wrong look at what’s

to change what’s wrong look at what’s right going with them right now and if

right going with them right now and if

right going with them right now and if the only thing is that they had the

the only thing is that they had the

the only thing is that they had the courage to come in it has for help the

courage to come in it has for help the

courage to come in it has for help the next that’s where you start you took a

next that’s where you start you took a

next that’s where you start you took a lot of courage to walk in here and ask

lot of courage to walk in here and ask

lot of courage to walk in here and ask for help and even if you have a setback

for help and even if you have a setback

for help and even if you have a setback we can tell the person like till my

we can tell the person like till my

we can tell the person like till my brother look you unclean for two weeks

brother look you unclean for two weeks

brother look you unclean for two weeks don’t get down on yourself we’re here

don’t get down on yourself we’re here

don’t get down on yourself we’re here for you maybe next time to leave two

for you maybe next time to leave two

for you maybe next time to leave two months this problem of addiction is

months this problem of addiction is

months this problem of addiction is everywhere it’s that I have many many

everywhere it’s that I have many many

everywhere it’s that I have many many friends and almost all of them know

friends and almost all of them know

friends and almost all of them know somebody that has a problem with

somebody that has a problem with

somebody that has a problem with addiction and the current problem naaa

addiction and the current problem naaa

addiction and the current problem naaa hasn’t always one for everybody what

hasn’t always one for everybody what

hasn’t always one for everybody what does what does resonate with that is

does what does resonate with that is

does what does resonate with that is that you have to have a belief that you

that you have to have a belief that you

that you have to have a belief that you are worthy of something that you can’t

are worthy of something that you can’t

are worthy of something that you can’t do something that you do have a purpose

do something that you do have a purpose

do something that you do have a purpose and that’s where my brother Renee comes

and that’s where my brother Renee comes

and that’s where my brother Renee comes in and so there began a change for our

in and so there began a change for our

in and so there began a change for our family how we related to him by this

family how we related to him by this

family how we related to him by this time she disappeared for five years

time she disappeared for five years

time she disappeared for five years because he felt shamed because he wanted

because he felt shamed because he wanted

because he felt shamed because he wanted to change and hear all of us are always

to change and hear all of us are always

to change and hear all of us are always on about why we should do this why can’t

on about why we should do this why can’t

on about why we should do this why can’t you do this go to this place you know

you do this go to this place you know

you do this go to this place you know and and it was very happy state nothing

and and it was very happy state nothing

and and it was very happy state nothing happens by accident but that Christmas

happens by accident but that Christmas

happens by accident but that Christmas my mother was visiting you Detroit and

my mother was visiting you Detroit and

my mother was visiting you Detroit and the phenix came with two big packages

the phenix came with two big packages

the phenix came with two big packages there were two beautiful beacons oil

there were two beautiful beacons oil

there were two beautiful beacons oil paintings my brother had started writing

paintings my brother had started writing

paintings my brother had started writing and told us he was in prison for crimes

and told us he was in prison for crimes

and told us he was in prison for crimes related to drugs strike it drugs like

related to drugs strike it drugs like

related to drugs strike it drugs like many of the people that are addicts wind

many of the people that are addicts wind

many of the people that are addicts wind up with in jail for small property

up with in jail for small property

up with in jail for small property crimes well anyway he tells us he’s

crimes well anyway he tells us he’s

crimes well anyway he tells us he’s peeking both my mother and I were the

peeking both my mother and I were the

peeking both my mother and I were the process after someone hurts you is you

process after someone hurts you is you

process after someone hurts you is you don’t immediately just bury yourself

don’t immediately just bury yourself

don’t immediately just bury yourself you’re afraid that you’re going to be

you’re afraid that you’re going to be

you’re afraid that you’re going to be hurt again so it’s normal that at the

hurt again so it’s normal that at the

hurt again so it’s normal that at the beginning you’re not giving in but when

beginning you’re not giving in but when

beginning you’re not giving in but when we saw those paintings this is how close

we saw those paintings this is how close

we saw those paintings this is how close we were both of us did at the same time

we were both of us did at the same time

we were both of us did at the same time to those he just decided ripest and an

to those he just decided ripest and an

to those he just decided ripest and an amenity synapses remaining hi another

amenity synapses remaining hi another

amenity synapses remaining hi another mini if you have been there you know

mini if you have been there you know

mini if you have been there you know because as I talk about the country

because as I talk about the country

because as I talk about the country people tell me its oh that’s how I was

people tell me its oh that’s how I was

people tell me its oh that’s how I was or that’s how I am and so our that was

or that’s how I am and so our that was

or that’s how I am and so our that was December around worry I won’t put one

December around worry I won’t put one

December around worry I won’t put one night and I got only Club what does it

night and I got only Club what does it

night and I got only Club what does it matter what if he didn’t paint those

matter what if he didn’t paint those

matter what if he didn’t paint those paintings what if didn’t write those

paintings what if didn’t write those

paintings what if didn’t write those beautiful letters and these he cared

beautiful letters and these he cared

beautiful letters and these he cared enough to do that for me I will start at

enough to do that for me I will start at

enough to do that for me I will start at that point and begin to write to him and

that point and begin to write to him and

that point and begin to write to him and their develop a beautiful relationship

their develop a beautiful relationship

their develop a beautiful relationship because we come from the same parents

because we come from the same parents

because we come from the same parents but you know what it’s like these five

but you know what it’s like these five

but you know what it’s like these five fingers they come from this hand but

fingers they come from this hand but

fingers they come from this hand but look how different they are and so

look how different they are and so

look how different they are and so sometimes because we’re related by blood

sometimes because we’re related by blood

sometimes because we’re related by blood we think we know each other when we live

we think we know each other when we live

we think we know each other when we live on other sides of the country we don’t

on other sides of the country we don’t

on other sides of the country we don’t know each other they don’t know where we

know each other they don’t know where we

know each other they don’t know where we are we merely know who we are and so you

are we merely know who we are and so you

are we merely know who we are and so you have to talk with each other but the

have to talk with each other but the

have to talk with each other but the beauty of winding letters back and forth

beauty of winding letters back and forth

beauty of winding letters back and forth was that when he wrote me something I

was that when he wrote me something I

was that when he wrote me something I couldn’t right away to stop him and say

couldn’t right away to stop him and say

couldn’t right away to stop him and say although you know you didn’t do that no

although you know you didn’t do that no

although you know you didn’t do that no you did this no I had to read the letter

you did this no I had to read the letter

you did this no I had to read the letter in the context that he wrote it and then

in the context that he wrote it and then

in the context that he wrote it and then I would respond to him and he shared

I would respond to him and he shared

I would respond to him and he shared with me because I wanted to know how did

with me because I wanted to know how did

with me because I wanted to know how did this happen that you begin

this happen that you begin

this happen that you begin paint and when he started to Pete he

paint and when he started to Pete he

paint and when he started to Pete he painted things that were collected the

painted things that were collected the

painted things that were collected the process of self-awareness of dealing

process of self-awareness of dealing

process of self-awareness of dealing with those painful memories like he did

with those painful memories like he did

with those painful memories like he did this painting of himself a self-portrait

this painting of himself a self-portrait

this painting of himself a self-portrait where he is in jail and you see the men

where he is in jail and you see the men

where he is in jail and you see the men in the back chain it’s like chained by

in the back chain it’s like chained by

in the back chain it’s like chained by guilt and my mom the mother always in

guilt and my mom the mother always in

guilt and my mom the mother always in the background the paint that they must

the background the paint that they must

the background the paint that they must have caused their mom and then he

have caused their mom and then he

have caused their mom and then he painted conflict among generations where

painted conflict among generations where

painted conflict among generations where you see the elders there dressed in

you see the elders there dressed in

you see the elders there dressed in black because they’re grieving the youth

black because they’re grieving the youth

black because they’re grieving the youth they don’t know what to do how to reach

they don’t know what to do how to reach

they don’t know what to do how to reach the magine the flame symbolize of HIV

the magine the flame symbolize of HIV

the magine the flame symbolize of HIV early conservation teen pregnancy

early conservation teen pregnancy

early conservation teen pregnancy dropout from school and what comes with

dropout from school and what comes with

dropout from school and what comes with it and so it was this process of my

it and so it was this process of my

it and so it was this process of my trying to look back at where he had come

trying to look back at where he had come

trying to look back at where he had come from and then to a later stage where he

from and then to a later stage where he

from and then to a later stage where he began with pride to pay good things in

began with pride to pay good things in

began with pride to pay good things in our culture like Selena and many other

our culture like Selena and many other

our culture like Selena and many other paintings that I will show you in a

paintings that I will show you in a

paintings that I will show you in a little bit but it was like a process and

little bit but it was like a process and

little bit but it was like a process and accepting of how did you do this I had

accepting of how did you do this I had

accepting of how did you do this I had no idea and he said to me you know I met

no idea and he said to me you know I met

no idea and he said to me you know I met a man here in jail Larry loss of Black

a man here in jail Larry loss of Black

a man here in jail Larry loss of Black Muslim and everybody knew his story he

Muslim and everybody knew his story he

Muslim and everybody knew his story he had been accused of killing a police

had been accused of killing a police

had been accused of killing a police officer which he did not do and a lot of

officer which he did not do and a lot of

officer which he did not do and a lot of people in the community were writing

people in the community were writing

people in the community were writing letters but there we had no rage or

letters but there we had no rage or

letters but there we had no rage or anger and my brother was always angry

anger and my brother was always angry

anger and my brother was always angry and he said it I would cause it if they

and he said it I would cause it if they

and he said it I would cause it if they were wrong you’re stupid you know blah

were wrong you’re stupid you know blah

were wrong you’re stupid you know blah blah blah and he would always stay with

blah blah and he would always stay with

blah blah and he would always stay with me buddy why don’t you just come to the

me buddy why don’t you just come to the

me buddy why don’t you just come to the craft shop you know let me show you this

craft shop you know let me show you this

craft shop you know let me show you this art it will help you because art is like

art it will help you because art is like

art it will help you because art is like a religion it helps you to cleanse

a religion it helps you to cleanse

a religion it helps you to cleanse yourself to paint the pain away or to

yourself to paint the pain away or to

yourself to paint the pain away or to help you to get in touch with things

help you to get in touch with things

help you to get in touch with things that you shove down and he said and as I

that you shove down and he said and as I

that you shove down and he said and as I I went posted because I like being

I went posted because I like being

I went posted because I like being wrong Larry it was a piece about him and

wrong Larry it was a piece about him and

wrong Larry it was a piece about him and I wanted that but I didn’t know that at

I wanted that but I didn’t know that at

I wanted that but I didn’t know that at the time but I like to be about him he

the time but I like to be about him he

the time but I like to be about him he said and they’re in a crash-up I started

said and they’re in a crash-up I started

said and they’re in a crash-up I started to paint and I liked it and I started to

to paint and I liked it and I started to

to paint and I liked it and I started to read like 30,000 hours of reading the

read like 30,000 hours of reading the

read like 30,000 hours of reading the great masters and then the guys would

great masters and then the guys would

great masters and then the guys would savor any you’re not like the rest of us

savor any you’re not like the rest of us

savor any you’re not like the rest of us you have a get ready to have a good he

you have a get ready to have a good he

you have a get ready to have a good he said I would just say oh they’re just

said I would just say oh they’re just

said I would just say oh they’re just yet he said but at night I would think

yet he said but at night I would think

yet he said but at night I would think what if the person that I always thought

what if the person that I always thought

what if the person that I always thought I was that people told me I was what if

I was that people told me I was what if

I was that people told me I was what if that’s not really like and what if the

that’s not really like and what if the

that’s not really like and what if the real person is this one and he said I

real person is this one and he said I

real person is this one and he said I realized that I could be this person

realized that I could be this person

realized that I could be this person right here in jail that I could live my

right here in jail that I could live my

right here in jail that I could live my authentic life right here and do things

authentic life right here and do things

authentic life right here and do things that I was supposed to do so he started

that I was supposed to do so he started

that I was supposed to do so he started to work for the warden to paint things

to work for the warden to paint things

to work for the warden to paint things first he would just paint buildings or

first he would just paint buildings or

first he would just paint buildings or eight rooms and things and then other

eight rooms and things and then other

eight rooms and things and then other people as they see the consistent

people as they see the consistent

people as they see the consistent behavior started inviting him Renee the

behavior started inviting him Renee the

behavior started inviting him Renee the high school is going to have a prom

high school is going to have a prom

high school is going to have a prom theme of Hawaii if we want to campus

theme of Hawaii if we want to campus

theme of Hawaii if we want to campus could you do this and they would work

could you do this and they would work

could you do this and they would work with him if he do it for religious

with him if he do it for religious

with him if he do it for religious leaders would compensate listen could

leaders would compensate listen could

leaders would compensate listen could you plead this lesson virgin or Jesus

you plead this lesson virgin or Jesus

you plead this lesson virgin or Jesus and he would do it you know and he said

and he would do it you know and he said

and he would do it you know and he said then I realize I’m living my life it

then I realize I’m living my life it

then I realize I’m living my life it doesn’t matter if I’m here or out there

doesn’t matter if I’m here or out there

doesn’t matter if I’m here or out there but I’m the night and through the heart

but I’m the night and through the heart

but I’m the night and through the heart I have helped other people here to

I have helped other people here to

I have helped other people here to decide not to kill themselves they

decide not to kill themselves they

decide not to kill themselves they wanted they were suicidal before and

wanted they were suicidal before and

wanted they were suicidal before and they decided not to do it and it goes

they decided not to do it and it goes

they decided not to do it and it goes back to that people can heal themselves

back to that people can heal themselves

back to that people can heal themselves we don’t heal them but a big part of it

we don’t heal them but a big part of it

we don’t heal them but a big part of it is service that’s not just you put

is service that’s not just you put

is service that’s not just you put service for others from the heart and

service for others from the heart and

service for others from the heart and also that part of that healing is a

also that part of that healing is a

also that part of that healing is a belief that you are worthy of love now

belief that you are worthy of love now

belief that you are worthy of love now look how far the guy with the long hair

look how far the guy with the long hair

look how far the guy with the long hair I don’t remember his name anymore what

I don’t remember his name anymore what

I don’t remember his name anymore what good

good

good stud I told my mother that story and a

stud I told my mother that story and a

stud I told my mother that story and a lot changed that our relationship and

lot changed that our relationship and

lot changed that our relationship and our family with grenade unfortunately he

our family with grenade unfortunately he

our family with grenade unfortunately he doesn’t do drugs he used to do them

doesn’t do drugs he used to do them

doesn’t do drugs he used to do them right there in the jail because I know

right there in the jail because I know

right there in the jail because I know you know you can get grunts at the gym

you know you can get grunts at the gym

you know you can get grunts at the gym but he has been clean for a very long

but he has been clean for a very long

but he has been clean for a very long time and I was invited by a psychologist

time and I was invited by a psychologist

time and I was invited by a psychologist to talk to a group of what I thought

to talk to a group of what I thought

to talk to a group of what I thought were grieving parents of nearly lost

were grieving parents of nearly lost

were grieving parents of nearly lost children and when i get there was a very

children and when i get there was a very

children and when i get there was a very different group of older couples of

different group of older couples of

different group of older couples of single and single women and I thought

single and single women and I thought

single and single women and I thought wow this is not like my regular children

wow this is not like my regular children

wow this is not like my regular children hospital had a group so then when he

hospital had a group so then when he

hospital had a group so then when he introduced me he sends a very grandiose

introduced me he sends a very grandiose

introduced me he sends a very grandiose things and I felt in fairies i thought i

things and I felt in fairies i thought i

things and I felt in fairies i thought i don’t want these people that they don’t

don’t want these people that they don’t

don’t want these people that they don’t know everything I’m going to tell them

know everything I’m going to tell them

know everything I’m going to tell them how I am a student like them and I told

how I am a student like them and I told

how I am a student like them and I told them the story of my brother how I have

them the story of my brother how I have

them the story of my brother how I have rejected him because he had heard us and

rejected him because he had heard us and

rejected him because he had heard us and how I had to forgive myself and have a

how I had to forgive myself and have a

how I had to forgive myself and have a talk with myself that you know what this

talk with myself that you know what this

talk with myself that you know what this is not happy this is about her name and

is not happy this is about her name and

is not happy this is about her name and that if I forgive him and if he has a

that if I forgive him and if he has a

that if I forgive him and if he has a setback it’s still okay it’s not about

setback it’s still okay it’s not about

setback it’s still okay it’s not about he didn’t do it to me he didn’t make a

he didn’t do it to me he didn’t make a

he didn’t do it to me he didn’t make a fool out of eat he is a human who is

fool out of eat he is a human who is

fool out of eat he is a human who is struggling with an illness and so I told

struggling with an illness and so I told

struggling with an illness and so I told him that story and this man there this

him that story and this man there this

him that story and this man there this is many years back 25 years exactly now

is many years back 25 years exactly now

is many years back 25 years exactly now this man Fabian was in the group and he

this man Fabian was in the group and he

this man Fabian was in the group and he is up after I talk if he said I am going

is up after I talk if he said I am going

is up after I talk if he said I am going to be honest with you he said I did not

to be honest with you he said I did not

to be honest with you he said I did not want to come to this group today for

want to come to this group today for

want to come to this group today for this lady and he pointed to the baby he

this lady and he pointed to the baby he

this lady and he pointed to the baby he walked in with an older lady who said it

walked in with an older lady who said it

walked in with an older lady who said it another place but where he said he said

another place but where he said he said

another place but where he said he said she comes about twice a week with her

she comes about twice a week with her

she comes about twice a week with her Bible to talk to me about the Bible and

Bible to talk to me about the Bible and

Bible to talk to me about the Bible and she brings some sandwiches and today it

she brings some sandwiches and today it

she brings some sandwiches and today it was snowing and she had me would I

was snowing and she had me would I

was snowing and she had me would I please accompany her because she was

please accompany her because she was

please accompany her because she was afraid to drive all the way up here to

afraid to drive all the way up here to

afraid to drive all the way up here to cancer

cancer

cancer from Detroit and I really thought about

from Detroit and I really thought about

from Detroit and I really thought about staying no because I had plans to get

staying no because I had plans to get

staying no because I had plans to get drugged tonight but I heard then I won’t

drugged tonight but I heard then I won’t

drugged tonight but I heard then I won’t have poop because you know that is their

have poop because you know that is their

have poop because you know that is their priorities the drug said they often know

priorities the drug said they often know

priorities the drug said they often know at boot and he said so I thought well I

at boot and he said so I thought well I

at boot and he said so I thought well I can still party afterwards and it was

can still party afterwards and it was

can still party afterwards and it was very moving and he said but you know I

very moving and he said but you know I

very moving and he said but you know I feel that this was meant to be and I

feel that this was meant to be and I

feel that this was meant to be and I can’t believe that you very fine

can’t believe that you very fine

can’t believe that you very fine professional people have allowed me in

professional people have allowed me in

professional people have allowed me in your house but we had done something

your house but we had done something

your house but we had done something extraordinary and he said that you’ve

extraordinary and he said that you’ve

extraordinary and he said that you’ve allowed me to sit here and then you

allowed me to sit here and then you

allowed me to sit here and then you didn’t even let me take my shoes off

didn’t even let me take my shoes off

didn’t even let me take my shoes off that you let me walk in here and sit

that you let me walk in here and sit

that you let me walk in here and sit down with my shoes on he said I want to

down with my shoes on he said I want to

down with my shoes on he said I want to promise you all tonight that I will

promise you all tonight that I will

promise you all tonight that I will never do drugs the end and i am going to

never do drugs the end and i am going to

never do drugs the end and i am going to work to help other people and to try to

work to help other people and to try to

work to help other people and to try to bring my family back to join me from

bring my family back to join me from

bring my family back to join me from California because the Wyatt other two

California because the Wyatt other two

California because the Wyatt other two children here in California well i have

children here in California well i have

children here in California well i have to tell you if I had I thought oh he’s

to tell you if I had I thought oh he’s

to tell you if I had I thought oh he’s just inspired tonight but by tomorrow

just inspired tonight but by tomorrow

just inspired tonight but by tomorrow you’ll forget of the supposed to end a

you’ll forget of the supposed to end a

you’ll forget of the supposed to end a this is not going to work that’s what a

this is not going to work that’s what a

this is not going to work that’s what a ticket in my head being honest but guess

ticket in my head being honest but guess

ticket in my head being honest but guess what 25 years later this man did not go

what 25 years later this man did not go

what 25 years later this man did not go to ma or a 8 and he is sober he is a

to ma or a 8 and he is sober he is a

to ma or a 8 and he is sober he is a leader in his community walking the

leader in his community walking the

leader in his community walking the streets like that lady helping other

streets like that lady helping other

streets like that lady helping other people through telling his story so the

people through telling his story so the

people through telling his story so the same player through service and finding

same player through service and finding

same player through service and finding that he was worthy and that he could

that he was worthy and that he could

that he was worthy and that he could love and then it might take time and

love and then it might take time and

love and then it might take time and maybe his family was not accepted but

maybe his family was not accepted but

maybe his family was not accepted but then he would go forth in honesty and so

then he would go forth in honesty and so

then he would go forth in honesty and so this gentleman today is a very important

this gentleman today is a very important

this gentleman today is a very important member of the community here in Detroit

member of the community here in Detroit

member of the community here in Detroit and so I say to you that it is important

and so I say to you that it is important

and so I say to you that it is important not to label people because we’re human

not to label people because we’re human

not to label people because we’re human beings all of us bombed out and all of

beings all of us bombed out and all of

beings all of us bombed out and all of us yeah but the problem is that all of

us yeah but the problem is that all of

us yeah but the problem is that all of us are a different

us are a different

us are a different of that road of getting to know

of that road of getting to know

of that road of getting to know ourselves of finding out who we are of

ourselves of finding out who we are of

ourselves of finding out who we are of learning to be kind and loving to

learning to be kind and loving to

learning to be kind and loving to ourselves to be able to forgive

ourselves to be able to forgive

ourselves to be able to forgive ourselves I want to show with you just

ourselves I want to show with you just

ourselves I want to show with you just some of the paintings that my brother

some of the paintings that my brother

some of the paintings that my brother now has done he’s even painted famous

now has done he’s even painted famous

now has done he’s even painted famous people as well or alive but this is

people as well or alive but this is

people as well or alive but this is coming from a little boy that started as

coming from a little boy that started as

coming from a little boy that started as a child scribbling just like doodling is

a child scribbling just like doodling is

a child scribbling just like doodling is what my mom would call it and we didn’t

what my mom would call it and we didn’t

what my mom would call it and we didn’t be any attention to it because when I

be any attention to it because when I

be any attention to it because when I think that why did I think that was

think that why did I think that was

think that why did I think that was useless I didn’t even know how to draw a

useless I didn’t even know how to draw a

useless I didn’t even know how to draw a stick figure okay how why did I think

stick figure okay how why did I think

stick figure okay how why did I think the best stuff Oh something good and I

the best stuff Oh something good and I

the best stuff Oh something good and I think that the importance is that we

think that the importance is that we

think that the importance is that we have to stop tearing people down and we

have to stop tearing people down and we

have to stop tearing people down and we need to start focusing on what is good

need to start focusing on what is good

need to start focusing on what is good about the person building up those

about the person building up those

about the person building up those things that they show interest in just

things that they show interest in just

things that they show interest in just like the guy with the long hair who said

like the guy with the long hair who said

like the guy with the long hair who said since he was little his parents always

since he was little his parents always

since he was little his parents always told that because he was drawn to bikes

told that because he was drawn to bikes

told that because he was drawn to bikes you’re going to grow up and be nobody

you’re going to grow up and be nobody

you’re going to grow up and be nobody but the Hells Angel doing no good and

but the Hells Angel doing no good and

but the Hells Angel doing no good and why did that have to be a Hells Angel

why did that have to be a Hells Angel

why did that have to be a Hells Angel because they have been in there ended if

because they have been in there ended if

because they have been in there ended if you’re going to like bicycles it must be

you’re going to like bicycles it must be

you’re going to like bicycles it must be related to that because we’re like

related to that because we’re like

related to that because we’re like slaves in the pedia everything that is

slaves in the pedia everything that is

slaves in the pedia everything that is out there were just incorporated without

out there were just incorporated without

out there were just incorporated without thinking that no look at what he’s doing

thinking that no look at what he’s doing

thinking that no look at what he’s doing at home he is a counselor and uses his

at home he is a counselor and uses his

at home he is a counselor and uses his love of bikes to work with youth and

love of bikes to work with youth and

love of bikes to work with youth and teach a very good skin so the importance

teach a very good skin so the importance

teach a very good skin so the importance is to look at people and look at where

is to look at people and look at where

is to look at people and look at where are they drawn to where do they want to

are they drawn to where do they want to

are they drawn to where do they want to spend the majority of their time so I

spend the majority of their time so I

spend the majority of their time so I will leave you with that that life is a

will leave you with that that life is a

will leave you with that that life is a journey and then if you have made

journey and then if you have made

journey and then if you have made mistakes in the past the most important

mistakes in the past the most important

mistakes in the past the most important thing is to go back and try to correct

thing is to go back and try to correct

thing is to go back and try to correct them and then to go forward entom and to

them and then to go forward entom and to

them and then to go forward entom and to live your life authentically with

live your life authentically with

live your life authentically with feelings and not as if it’s going to be

feelings and not as if it’s going to be

feelings and not as if it’s going to be bored where we try to push it down and

bored where we try to push it down and

bored where we try to push it down and to try to look

to try to look

to try to look because it doesn’t work I’ll just

because it doesn’t work I’ll just

because it doesn’t work I’ll just telling them thank you so much

telling them thank you so much

telling them thank you so much [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]