The Power of Speaking Your Truth | Lan Mercado | TEDxESADE

have you ever felt like you were at the

have you ever felt like you were at the bottom of a pit where there was no way

bottom of a pit where there was no way

bottom of a pit where there was no way out and there’s nothing ahead of you

out and there’s nothing ahead of you

out and there’s nothing ahead of you except for a long dark night I have and

except for a long dark night I have and

except for a long dark night I have and let me tell you my story I come from the

let me tell you my story I come from the

let me tell you my story I come from the Philippines where Ferdinand Marcos ruled

Philippines where Ferdinand Marcos ruled

Philippines where Ferdinand Marcos ruled us a dictator he declared martial law so

us a dictator he declared martial law so

us a dictator he declared martial law so he can keep all the power to himself and

he can keep all the power to himself and

he can keep all the power to himself and keep himself in power he destroyed the

keep himself in power he destroyed the

keep himself in power he destroyed the democratic institutions in the country

democratic institutions in the country

democratic institutions in the country he destroyed the rule of law there was

he destroyed the rule of law there was

he destroyed the rule of law there was much corruption in government and anyone

much corruption in government and anyone

much corruption in government and anyone anyone who dared the protest could be

anyone who dared the protest could be

anyone who dared the protest could be severely punished during the

severely punished during the

severely punished during the dictatorship I was a political activist

dictatorship I was a political activist

dictatorship I was a political activist and a member of the underground

and a member of the underground

and a member of the underground communist party of the philippines

communist party of the philippines

communist party of the philippines together with my comrades we would

together with my comrades we would

together with my comrades we would politically educate people raise their

politically educate people raise their

politically educate people raise their consciousness organize them and mobilize

consciousness organize them and mobilize

consciousness organize them and mobilize them we ran massive demonstrations and

them we ran massive demonstrations and

them we ran massive demonstrations and long marches to bring down the

long marches to bring down the

long marches to bring down the dictatorship it was an extraordinary

dictatorship it was an extraordinary

dictatorship it was an extraordinary time but it was also a very dangerous

time but it was also a very dangerous

time but it was also a very dangerous time so we had to trust and rely on each

time so we had to trust and rely on each

time so we had to trust and rely on each other to feel safe and be secure by 1986

other to feel safe and be secure by 1986

other to feel safe and be secure by 1986 People Power had defeated Marcos but the

People Power had defeated Marcos but the

People Power had defeated Marcos but the government that replaced him was still a

government that replaced him was still a

government that replaced him was still a government of the elite so the work that

government of the elite so the work that

government of the elite so the work that we do turn to expanding whatever

we do turn to expanding whatever

we do turn to expanding whatever Democratic space we had won to make sure

Democratic space we had won to make sure

Democratic space we had won to make sure that the government truly served the

that the government truly served the

that the government truly served the interests of the people

interests of the people

interests of the people I had the Public Information Department

I had the Public Information Department

I had the Public Information Department of the largest political alliance at

of the largest political alliance at

of the largest political alliance at that time

but in 1988 I was falsely accused by the

but in 1988 I was falsely accused by the Communist Party of being a spy

Communist Party of being a spy

Communist Party of being a spy I was arrested at gunpoint blindfolded

I was arrested at gunpoint blindfolded

I was arrested at gunpoint blindfolded handcuffed chained to a bed for five

handcuffed chained to a bed for five

handcuffed chained to a bed for five long months I was interrogated

long months I was interrogated

long months I was interrogated physically and mentally tortured I was

physically and mentally tortured I was

physically and mentally tortured I was threatened to be killed by people whom I

threatened to be killed by people whom I

threatened to be killed by people whom I knew and I thought I trusted but I

knew and I thought I trusted but I

knew and I thought I trusted but I wasn’t the only one there were many

wasn’t the only one there were many

wasn’t the only one there were many others who were also being kept in camps

others who were also being kept in camps

others who were also being kept in camps and in safe houses the Communist Party

and in safe houses the Communist Party

and in safe houses the Communist Party had been doing the purge for some time

had been doing the purge for some time

had been doing the purge for some time and it’s estimated that around 2,000

and it’s estimated that around 2,000

and it’s estimated that around 2,000 people were killed I was one of those

people were killed I was one of those

people were killed I was one of those who made it out alive after five long

who made it out alive after five long

who made it out alive after five long months of captivity and torture I

months of captivity and torture I

months of captivity and torture I received a small note that essentially

received a small note that essentially

received a small note that essentially said sorry there was no real reason to

said sorry there was no real reason to

said sorry there was no real reason to suspect you but I could not go home not

suspect you but I could not go home not

suspect you but I could not go home not immediately because while I was missing

immediately because while I was missing

immediately because while I was missing my family my friends who remained

my family my friends who remained

my family my friends who remained faithful to me despite the accusations

faithful to me despite the accusations

faithful to me despite the accusations against me and the human rights

against me and the human rights

against me and the human rights community in the Philippines campaigned

community in the Philippines campaigned

community in the Philippines campaigned and pressured the government to find me

and pressured the government to find me

and pressured the government to find me and others who have gone missing so the

and others who have gone missing so the

and others who have gone missing so the military was looking for me and I knew

military was looking for me and I knew

military was looking for me and I knew they would come and get me the moment I

they would come and get me the moment I

they would come and get me the moment I came home so after proving that I was

came home so after proving that I was

came home so after proving that I was not a spy I did not want to fall into

not a spy I did not want to fall into

not a spy I did not want to fall into the hands of the enemy meanwhile the

the hands of the enemy meanwhile the

the hands of the enemy meanwhile the Communist Party also wanted to keep

Communist Party also wanted to keep

Communist Party also wanted to keep everything a secret it could not risk

everything a secret it could not risk

everything a secret it could not risk exposing what happened

exposing what happened

exposing what happened because it was afraid of the political

because it was afraid of the political

because it was afraid of the political consequences so I made it out alive but

consequences so I made it out alive but

consequences so I made it out alive but at the cost of my identity I was forced

at the cost of my identity I was forced

at the cost of my identity I was forced to go into hiding I could not use my

to go into hiding I could not use my

to go into hiding I could not use my name I had fake IDs I even tried to

name I had fake IDs I even tried to

name I had fake IDs I even tried to change the way I looked when my husband

change the way I looked when my husband

change the way I looked when my husband who was also a member of the underground

who was also a member of the underground

who was also a member of the underground movement and was desperately looking for

movement and was desperately looking for

movement and was desperately looking for me first in military camps and prisons

me first in military camps and prisons

me first in military camps and prisons then in hospitals and finally in morgues

then in hospitals and finally in morgues

then in hospitals and finally in morgues when he was told that I was alive he

when he was told that I was alive he

when he was told that I was alive he refused to let me go into hiding alone

refused to let me go into hiding alone

refused to let me go into hiding alone so with him I drifted from house to

so with him I drifted from house to

so with him I drifted from house to house and we had no jobs so we had to

house and we had no jobs so we had to

house and we had no jobs so we had to rely on people’s generosity for money I

rely on people’s generosity for money I

rely on people’s generosity for money I could not go out with my friends

could not go out with my friends

could not go out with my friends not in public and not that often because

not in public and not that often because

not in public and not that often because it could put them and myself in danger I

it could put them and myself in danger I

it could put them and myself in danger I was suffering from post-traumatic stress

was suffering from post-traumatic stress

was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and was parting to go a little

disorder and was parting to go a little

disorder and was parting to go a little bit crazy and I guess expectedly that

bit crazy and I guess expectedly that

bit crazy and I guess expectedly that took its toll on our marriage and it

took its toll on our marriage and it

took its toll on our marriage and it collapsed only for me to find out that I

collapsed only for me to find out that I

collapsed only for me to find out that I was pregnant so for a few years until

was pregnant so for a few years until

was pregnant so for a few years until thankfully my husband and I reconciled I

thankfully my husband and I reconciled I

thankfully my husband and I reconciled I was also a single mother but the birth

was also a single mother but the birth

was also a single mother but the birth of my daughter forced me to pick up the

of my daughter forced me to pick up the

of my daughter forced me to pick up the pieces and rebuild my life I connected

pieces and rebuild my life I connected

pieces and rebuild my life I connected with friends but also with other torture

with friends but also with other torture

with friends but also with other torture survivors and we started sharing stories

survivors and we started sharing stories

survivors and we started sharing stories talk about our feelings and made sense

talk about our feelings and made sense

talk about our feelings and made sense of what we had gone through and within

of what we had gone through and within

of what we had gone through and within that circle we found solidarity we found

that circle we found solidarity we found

that circle we found solidarity we found support for each other and we found the

support for each other and we found the

support for each other and we found the strength to finally speak up

strength to finally speak up

strength to finally speak up break the silence break the secrecy

break the silence break the secrecy

break the silence break the secrecy because we felt that we the living

because we felt that we the living

because we felt that we the living needed to be testimonies for the 2,000

needed to be testimonies for the 2,000

needed to be testimonies for the 2,000 who are dead so we formed the peace

who are dead so we formed the peace

who are dead so we formed the peace advocates for truth healing and justice

advocates for truth healing and justice

advocates for truth healing and justice it’s a group of torture survivors but

it’s a group of torture survivors but

it’s a group of torture survivors but also the families of those who did not

also the families of those who did not

also the families of those who did not survive

survive

survive and friends who supported our course our

and friends who supported our course our

and friends who supported our course our course is not about casting individual

course is not about casting individual

course is not about casting individual blame or sowing hatred what we want is

blame or sowing hatred what we want is

blame or sowing hatred what we want is to tell the truth about the dark period

to tell the truth about the dark period

to tell the truth about the dark period in the history of the Philippine Left

in the history of the Philippine Left

in the history of the Philippine Left what we want is to be known as torture

what we want is to be known as torture

what we want is to be known as torture survivors we want our suffering

survivors we want our suffering

survivors we want our suffering acknowledged because acknowledgement is

acknowledged because acknowledgement is

acknowledged because acknowledgement is the beginning of justice we want the

the beginning of justice we want the

the beginning of justice we want the Communist Party to reveal the names of

Communist Party to reveal the names of

Communist Party to reveal the names of those it had killed we want them

those it had killed we want them

those it had killed we want them remembered we want the past remembered

remembered we want the past remembered

remembered we want the past remembered so that it may never happen again

so that it may never happen again

so that it may never happen again personally forgiving my torturers freed

personally forgiving my torturers freed

personally forgiving my torturers freed me from my past and allowed me to move

me from my past and allowed me to move

me from my past and allowed me to move forward collectively speaking up enabled

forward collectively speaking up enabled

forward collectively speaking up enabled us to heal speaking our truth empowered

us to heal speaking our truth empowered

us to heal speaking our truth empowered us to be who we are

us to be who we are

us to be who we are I learned to think and speak for myself

my experience of torture and betrayal

my experience of torture and betrayal obviously is a very personal one but my

obviously is a very personal one but my

obviously is a very personal one but my work with social movements and with

work with social movements and with

work with social movements and with Oxfam have shown me that the lessons I

Oxfam have shown me that the lessons I

Oxfam have shown me that the lessons I learned are universal where human rights

learned are universal where human rights

learned are universal where human rights are being violated where freedoms are

are being violated where freedoms are

are being violated where freedoms are suppressed where people are being made

suppressed where people are being made

suppressed where people are being made to suffer the indignity and injustice of

to suffer the indignity and injustice of

to suffer the indignity and injustice of poverty

poverty

poverty inequality they are also deprived of

inequality they are also deprived of

inequality they are also deprived of their voice tyrants don’t want to hear

their voice tyrants don’t want to hear

their voice tyrants don’t want to hear any story other than theirs so speaking

any story other than theirs so speaking

any story other than theirs so speaking up is fighting back and Rebecca Solnit

up is fighting back and Rebecca Solnit

up is fighting back and Rebecca Solnit probably said it best when she said to

probably said it best when she said to

probably said it best when she said to be rendered voiceless is to be

be rendered voiceless is to be

be rendered voiceless is to be dehumanized and to suffer in silence is

dehumanized and to suffer in silence is

dehumanized and to suffer in silence is to suffer without recourse I’ve seen it

to suffer without recourse I’ve seen it

to suffer without recourse I’ve seen it in many places and in many circumstances

in many places and in many circumstances

in many places and in many circumstances truth is the light that shines through

truth is the light that shines through

truth is the light that shines through the darkness and solidarity is the force

the darkness and solidarity is the force

the darkness and solidarity is the force that pulls us through even the most

that pulls us through even the most

that pulls us through even the most desperate of times I’ve seen it in the

desperate of times I’ve seen it in the

desperate of times I’ve seen it in the countries where Oxfam works along with

countries where Oxfam works along with

countries where Oxfam works along with our partners in Cambodia where farmers

our partners in Cambodia where farmers

our partners in Cambodia where farmers are fighting land grabbing by big

are fighting land grabbing by big

are fighting land grabbing by big multinational corporations in the

multinational corporations in the

multinational corporations in the Philippines where coconut farmers

Philippines where coconut farmers

Philippines where coconut farmers marched thousands of kilometres to

marched thousands of kilometres to

marched thousands of kilometres to demand the return of money that was

demand the return of money that was

demand the return of money that was stolen from them by a rich and powerful

stolen from them by a rich and powerful

stolen from them by a rich and powerful few in Honduras where the leaders of

few in Honduras where the leaders of

few in Honduras where the leaders of indigenous peoples are being killed for

indigenous peoples are being killed for

indigenous peoples are being killed for opposing a dam project that would take

opposing a dam project that would take

opposing a dam project that would take away their ancestral lands and ancestral

away their ancestral lands and ancestral

away their ancestral lands and ancestral waters in India Indonesia Pakistan South

waters in India Indonesia Pakistan South

waters in India Indonesia Pakistan South Africa where Oxfam is campaigning with

Africa where Oxfam is campaigning with

Africa where Oxfam is campaigning with other women’s groups to say enough

other women’s groups to say enough

other women’s groups to say enough violence against women and girls must

violence against women and girls must

violence against women and girls must stop and whether it’s food security or

stop and whether it’s food security or

stop and whether it’s food security or climate change or inequality we’re

climate change or inequality we’re

climate change or inequality we’re always trying to speak truth the power

always trying to speak truth the power

always trying to speak truth the power here in Spain Oxfam intermón is

here in Spain Oxfam intermón is

here in Spain Oxfam intermón is campaigning on behalf of migrants and we

campaigning on behalf of migrants and we

campaigning on behalf of migrants and we two groups who are most vulnerable to

two groups who are most vulnerable to

two groups who are most vulnerable to discrimination and inequality and they

discrimination and inequality and they

discrimination and inequality and they do this on top of the work that they do

do this on top of the work that they do

do this on top of the work that they do abroad to address poverty and to save

abroad to address poverty and to save

abroad to address poverty and to save lives where there is a disaster I have

lives where there is a disaster I have

lives where there is a disaster I have been fortunate in my work with Oxfam to

been fortunate in my work with Oxfam to

been fortunate in my work with Oxfam to be able to support connections between

be able to support connections between

be able to support connections between people and organizations and through

people and organizations and through

people and organizations and through these organizations stories flow and

these organizations stories flow and

these organizations stories flow and when stories flow they get amplified and

when stories flow they get amplified and

when stories flow they get amplified and when they get amplified they renew the

when they get amplified they renew the

when they get amplified they renew the energies of people to keep fighting even

energies of people to keep fighting even

energies of people to keep fighting even when the going gets tough but most

when the going gets tough but most

when the going gets tough but most especially when the stakes are high when

especially when the stakes are high when

especially when the stakes are high when people fight against injustice there are

people fight against injustice there are

people fight against injustice there are no guarantees that they will win none

no guarantees that they will win none

no guarantees that they will win none but simply by speaking up

but simply by speaking up

but simply by speaking up they have already broken free from

they have already broken free from

they have already broken free from intimidation and repression back in my

intimidation and repression back in my

intimidation and repression back in my own country the Philippines some people

own country the Philippines some people

own country the Philippines some people are finding it very hard to speak up as

are finding it very hard to speak up as

are finding it very hard to speak up as you may know the war against drugs in

you may know the war against drugs in

you may know the war against drugs in the Philippines has killed nearly 8,000

the Philippines has killed nearly 8,000

the Philippines has killed nearly 8,000 people and Counting widows and orphans

people and Counting widows and orphans

people and Counting widows and orphans are finding it hard to speak their truth

are finding it hard to speak their truth

are finding it hard to speak their truth because they are afraid that when they

because they are afraid that when they

because they are afraid that when they speak up they will be targeted and

speak up they will be targeted and

speak up they will be targeted and killed so other individuals and other

killed so other individuals and other

killed so other individuals and other organizations have stood up and spoken

organizations have stood up and spoken

organizations have stood up and spoken for them one of these groups is by Ghani

for them one of these groups is by Ghani

for them one of these groups is by Ghani a small organization made up of

a small organization made up of

a small organization made up of feminists to which I belong and we stand

feminists to which I belong and we stand

feminists to which I belong and we stand in solidarity with the victims of the

in solidarity with the victims of the

in solidarity with the victims of the killings working with lawyers the church

killings working with lawyers the church

killings working with lawyers the church schools and other women’s groups were

schools and other women’s groups were

schools and other women’s groups were trying to create the safe space where

trying to create the safe space where

trying to create the safe space where the victims can speak

the victims can speak

the victims can speak their truth and feel safe we’re trying

their truth and feel safe we’re trying

their truth and feel safe we’re trying to address their livelihood and

to address their livelihood and

to address their livelihood and humanitarian needs but most importantly

humanitarian needs but most importantly

humanitarian needs but most importantly we are standing up and speaking out and

we are standing up and speaking out and

we are standing up and speaking out and convincing the public and the powers

convincing the public and the powers

convincing the public and the powers that be to stop the killings and slowly

that be to stop the killings and slowly

that be to stop the killings and slowly slowly slowly those who have felt

slowly slowly those who have felt

slowly slowly those who have felt powerless those who have felt helpless

powerless those who have felt helpless

powerless those who have felt helpless those who have felt trapped are finding

those who have felt trapped are finding

those who have felt trapped are finding the strength finding the courage to

the strength finding the courage to

the strength finding the courage to speak their truth despite their fears

speak their truth despite their fears

speak their truth despite their fears and the very real dangers that they face

by Gani is a very small organization we

by Gani is a very small organization we have no money no stature but large

have no money no stature but large

have no money no stature but large movements started out small even Oxfam

movements started out small even Oxfam

movements started out small even Oxfam considered to be one of the largest and

considered to be one of the largest and

considered to be one of the largest and most influential organizations globally

most influential organizations globally

most influential organizations globally started with only nine people so what

started with only nine people so what

started with only nine people so what starts small grows big with the support

starts small grows big with the support

starts small grows big with the support of others so I call on you I call on you

of others so I call on you I call on you

of others so I call on you I call on you expand your awareness of what is going

expand your awareness of what is going

expand your awareness of what is going on around you connect with organizations

on around you connect with organizations

on around you connect with organizations that provide the platform for the

that provide the platform for the

that provide the platform for the powerless the voiceless the

powerless the voiceless the

powerless the voiceless the discriminator the vulnerable hear their

discriminator the vulnerable hear their

discriminator the vulnerable hear their story listen to their truth and I hope

story listen to their truth and I hope

story listen to their truth and I hope feel compelled to add your voice so that

feel compelled to add your voice so that

feel compelled to add your voice so that those who cannot speak may also be heard

those who cannot speak may also be heard

those who cannot speak may also be heard I hope you will be moved enough to take

I hope you will be moved enough to take

I hope you will be moved enough to take action every little act builds hope

action every little act builds hope

action every little act builds hope every day we go out to meet the world

every day we go out to meet the world

every day we go out to meet the world and we try to make sense of what’s

and we try to make sense of what’s

and we try to make sense of what’s happening through our interactions our

happening through our interactions our

happening through our interactions our relationships our observations none of

relationships our observations none of

relationships our observations none of that happens in isolation we we are all

that happens in isolation we we are all

that happens in isolation we we are all part of humanity and we can make a

part of humanity and we can make a

part of humanity and we can make a choice to stand in solidarity with

choice to stand in solidarity with

choice to stand in solidarity with others who are trying to create a more

others who are trying to create a more

others who are trying to create a more just more humane more gentle society it

just more humane more gentle society it

just more humane more gentle society it won’t be easy it won’t be easy many

won’t be easy it won’t be easy many

won’t be easy it won’t be easy many times it will feel like the bottom of

times it will feel like the bottom of

times it will feel like the bottom of that pit many times it will feel like a

that pit many times it will feel like a

that pit many times it will feel like a long dark night but when the sky is most

long dark night but when the sky is most

long dark night but when the sky is most dark that’s when we see even the

dark that’s when we see even the

dark that’s when we see even the faintest of stars truth is that star

faintest of stars truth is that star

faintest of stars truth is that star look for it

look for it

look for it [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]