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The Power of Self-Perception | Arlando Mba | TEDxLosOsosHighSchool


hello everybody really ok hello

hello everybody really ok hello everybody

everybody

everybody there you go

there you go

there you go hi my name is like they said Itamar lana

hi my name is like they said Itamar lana

hi my name is like they said Itamar lana tomba I’m a grizzly alum whoever will I

tomba I’m a grizzly alum whoever will I

tomba I’m a grizzly alum whoever will I go to UCLA now some Stila bears my

go to UCLA now some Stila bears my

go to UCLA now some Stila bears my mascot so um ha I’m taking you back to

mascot so um ha I’m taking you back to

mascot so um ha I’m taking you back to 2009 I’m 11 years old just imagine me

2009 I’m 11 years old just imagine me

2009 I’m 11 years old just imagine me just like yay tall and it’s a warm sunny

just like yay tall and it’s a warm sunny

just like yay tall and it’s a warm sunny beautiful California day on the

beautiful California day on the

beautiful California day on the playground at Victoria girl’s elementary

playground at Victoria girl’s elementary

playground at Victoria girl’s elementary school mm-hmm and I’m talking with my

school mm-hmm and I’m talking with my

school mm-hmm and I’m talking with my friends on the grass and I noticed that

friends on the grass and I noticed that

friends on the grass and I noticed that one of the girls her hair’s like in a

one of the girls her hair’s like in a

one of the girls her hair’s like in a ponytail I was just looking at me like

ponytail I was just looking at me like

ponytail I was just looking at me like this and I’m just so confused like why

this and I’m just so confused like why

this and I’m just so confused like why is she looking at me like that like what

is she looking at me like that like what

is she looking at me like that like what what what did I do

what what did I do

what what did I do so I turn to her and she looked at me

so I turn to her and she looked at me

so I turn to her and she looked at me and she says ichima you’re different I’m

and she says ichima you’re different I’m

and she says ichima you’re different I’m just looking at her confused like okay

just looking at her confused like okay

just looking at her confused like okay what do you mean that I’m different like

what do you mean that I’m different like

what do you mean that I’m different like I’ve known you for years like did I

I’ve known you for years like did I

I’ve known you for years like did I change I know it didn’t change like I’m

change I know it didn’t change like I’m

change I know it didn’t change like I’m still the same person so I asked her

still the same person so I asked her

still the same person so I asked her curiously hey what do you mean that I’m

curiously hey what do you mean that I’m

curiously hey what do you mean that I’m different she looks at me and she says

different she looks at me and she says

different she looks at me and she says smiling well you don’t act like the

smiling well you don’t act like the

smiling well you don’t act like the other black kids I’m just like oh so

other black kids I’m just like oh so

other black kids I’m just like oh so this kind of raises the red/black of my

this kind of raises the red/black of my

this kind of raises the red/black of my head I’m just thinking what would he

head I’m just thinking what would he

head I’m just thinking what would he what does she mean that I’m different

what does she mean that I’m different

what does she mean that I’m different than all the bad kids I I think that I’m

than all the bad kids I I think that I’m

than all the bad kids I I think that I’m the same I don’t really feel any

the same I don’t really feel any

the same I don’t really feel any different like I need you to give me

different like I need you to give me

different like I need you to give me like a breakdown like a bit by bit

like a breakdown like a bit by bit

like a breakdown like a bit by bit breakdown I need evidence so I asked her

breakdown I need evidence so I asked her

breakdown I need evidence so I asked her um what makes me different from them

um what makes me different from them

um what makes me different from them she’s like well for starters you

she’s like well for starters you

she’s like well for starters you actually do well in school like I don’t

actually do well in school like I don’t

actually do well in school like I don’t know if they do well and like you get

know if they do well and like you get

know if they do well and like you get straight A’s and you’re in game which is

straight A’s and you’re in game which is

straight A’s and you’re in game which is like gifts

like gifts

like gifts talented education which means you’re

talented education which means you’re

talented education which means you’re really smart and you’re kind of quiet

really smart and you’re kind of quiet

really smart and you’re kind of quiet and you don’t wrestle feathers like they

and you don’t wrestle feathers like they

and you don’t wrestle feathers like they do and you’re really nice and you just

do and you’re really nice and you just

do and you’re really nice and you just seem to go with the flow this is me over

seem to go with the flow this is me over

seem to go with the flow this is me over huh oh my mind I’m thinking thank you

huh oh my mind I’m thinking thank you

huh oh my mind I’m thinking thank you like I think she’s given me a compliment

like I think she’s given me a compliment

like I think she’s given me a compliment because she just sounds so nice about

because she just sounds so nice about

because she just sounds so nice about this and she won’t stop smiling and her

this and she won’t stop smiling and her

this and she won’t stop smiling and her smiling is really freaking me out and

but this is a really weird compliment

but this is a really weird compliment you know compliments are supposed to

you know compliments are supposed to

you know compliments are supposed to make you feel good but I don’t feel good

make you feel good but I don’t feel good

make you feel good but I don’t feel good I feel insulted and I feel awkward and

I feel insulted and I feel awkward and

I feel insulted and I feel awkward and I’m starting to feel really really bad

I’m starting to feel really really bad

I’m starting to feel really really bad about myself I don’t know am I not

about myself I don’t know am I not

about myself I don’t know am I not supposed to be those things is that’s

supposed to be those things is that’s

supposed to be those things is that’s what she’s saying to me but as I say

what she’s saying to me but as I say

what she’s saying to me but as I say quiet I see that she looks like she got

quiet I see that she looks like she got

quiet I see that she looks like she got a PIFAN e like she got like zapped by

a PIFAN e like she got like zapped by

a PIFAN e like she got like zapped by lightning bolt from like up above and

lightning bolt from like up above and

lightning bolt from like up above and she just looked super excited and she

she just looked super excited and she

she just looked super excited and she just has to be each other oh my god I

just has to be each other oh my god I

just has to be each other oh my god I know what you are I’m like really like

know what you are I’m like really like

know what you are I’m like really like okay what what what am i she’s like oh

okay what what what am i she’s like oh

okay what what what am i she’s like oh that’s so simple you’re an Oreo I’m like

uh my mind thinking what the heck does

uh my mind thinking what the heck does she Madame Oreo I look nothing like that

she Madame Oreo I look nothing like that

she Madame Oreo I look nothing like that cookie please like what what does that

cookie please like what what does that

cookie please like what what does that have to do with me being an Oreo um I

have to do with me being an Oreo um I

have to do with me being an Oreo um I think maybe she’s just trying to be nice

think maybe she’s just trying to be nice

think maybe she’s just trying to be nice but I don’t know that’s just a weird way

but I don’t know that’s just a weird way

but I don’t know that’s just a weird way to tell someone that their sweet person

to tell someone that their sweet person

to tell someone that their sweet person so I don’t know maybe she’s just on

so I don’t know maybe she’s just on

so I don’t know maybe she’s just on something I don’t know about so I just

something I don’t know about so I just

something I don’t know about so I just took a head I just say um hey um what do

took a head I just say um hey um what do

took a head I just say um hey um what do you mean that I’m in Oreo she says well

you mean that I’m in Oreo she says well

you mean that I’m in Oreo she says well I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you

I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you

I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you that’s before ichima but um well here it

that’s before ichima but um well here it

that’s before ichima but um well here it goes you don’t act black you act weight

goes you don’t act black you act weight

goes you don’t act black you act weight plus you sound really white by the way

plus you sound really white by the way

plus you sound really white by the way um an Oreo is a black person that acts

um an Oreo is a black person that acts

um an Oreo is a black person that acts white see like black on the outside

white see like black on the outside

white see like black on the outside white cream filling on the inside that’s

white cream filling on the inside that’s

white cream filling on the inside that’s just what you are and that’s why I like

just what you are and that’s why I like

just what you are and that’s why I like you and that’s why we’re friends huh

you and that’s why we’re friends huh

you and that’s why we’re friends huh so that day and days afterwards I just

so that day and days afterwards I just

so that day and days afterwards I just keep thinking to myself in my head okay

keep thinking to myself in my head okay

keep thinking to myself in my head okay am I an Oreo do I that’s what really I

am I an Oreo do I that’s what really I

am I an Oreo do I that’s what really I just I never thought that I did does

just I never thought that I did does

just I never thought that I did does does everyone think L said I’m gonna

does everyone think L said I’m gonna

does everyone think L said I’m gonna where you are they just nicely they just

where you are they just nicely they just

where you are they just nicely they just don’t say it I don’t know I don’t know I

don’t say it I don’t know I don’t know I

don’t say it I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know so a few days later I asked

don’t know so a few days later I asked

don’t know so a few days later I asked my mom with a hey my mom do you think

my mom with a hey my mom do you think

my mom with a hey my mom do you think that I act white do you think that I’m

that I act white do you think that I’m

that I act white do you think that I’m an Oreo she just looked at me was really

an Oreo she just looked at me was really

an Oreo she just looked at me was really weird like and she said I’ll and oh no

weird like and she said I’ll and oh no

weird like and she said I’ll and oh no you do not act white you are not an

you do not act white you are not an

you do not act white you are not an audio did did someone tell you that

audio did did someone tell you that

audio did did someone tell you that you’re an Oreo I just kind of like know

you’re an Oreo I just kind of like know

you’re an Oreo I just kind of like know I heard it on TV this Fresh Prince it

I heard it on TV this Fresh Prince it

I heard it on TV this Fresh Prince it was something about Carlton you know

was something about Carlton you know

was something about Carlton you know she’s just looking at me like I don’t

she’s just looking at me like I don’t

she’s just looking at me like I don’t think she actually believes me but she

think she actually believes me but she

think she actually believes me but she just said I’ll and oh honey your notes

just said I’ll and oh honey your notes

just said I’ll and oh honey your notes in audio okay whoever is saying that is

in audio okay whoever is saying that is

in audio okay whoever is saying that is wrong

wrong

wrong okay you do not act white okay you’re

okay you do not act white okay you’re

okay you do not act white okay you’re just being yourself

just being yourself

just being yourself Am I okay my MA no I mind I’m thinking

Am I okay my MA no I mind I’m thinking

Am I okay my MA no I mind I’m thinking why did I go to my MA she just always

why did I go to my MA she just always

why did I go to my MA she just always says all these nice things because

says all these nice things because

says all these nice things because that’s her job because she’s my mom

that’s her job because she’s my mom

that’s her job because she’s my mom but I think the sad thing is as much as

but I think the sad thing is as much as

but I think the sad thing is as much as I want to believe my mom I don’t and I

I want to believe my mom I don’t and I

I want to believe my mom I don’t and I end up believing my friend a girl on the

end up believing my friend a girl on the

end up believing my friend a girl on the playground you see what I didn’t really

playground you see what I didn’t really

playground you see what I didn’t really know until recently is that that day on

know until recently is that that day on

know until recently is that that day on the playground was the first time that I

the playground was the first time that I

the playground was the first time that I ever got stereotyped and also it was the

ever got stereotyped and also it was the

ever got stereotyped and also it was the first time in my life that my self

first time in my life that my self

first time in my life that my self perception of my self changed completely

perception of my self changed completely

perception of my self changed completely and after that not too long after my

and after that not too long after my

and after that not too long after my self-esteem just went down and not too

self-esteem just went down and not too

self-esteem just went down and not too long after that I just remember family

long after that I just remember family

long after that I just remember family friends peers and complete strangers

friends peers and complete strangers

friends peers and complete strangers tell me how I act white that I’m an Oreo

tell me how I act white that I’m an Oreo

tell me how I act white that I’m an Oreo and the funny thing now is that I’m in

and the funny thing now is that I’m in

and the funny thing now is that I’m in college and I’m so happy that no one is

college and I’m so happy that no one is

college and I’m so happy that no one is telling me this I’m like woo woo but the

telling me this I’m like woo woo but the

telling me this I’m like woo woo but the sad thing is that I’m the one telling

sad thing is that I’m the one telling

sad thing is that I’m the one telling this to myself in my head it’s like it’s

this to myself in my head it’s like it’s

this to myself in my head it’s like it’s a broken record on a dusty gramophone

a broken record on a dusty gramophone

a broken record on a dusty gramophone playing a bitter sweet melody playing

playing a bitter sweet melody playing

playing a bitter sweet melody playing over and over and over again and up

over and over and over again and up

over and over and over again and up until that point it never crosses my

until that point it never crosses my

until that point it never crosses my mind that my behavior you know like

mind that my behavior you know like

mind that my behavior you know like being smart being quiet nice don’t long

being smart being quiet nice don’t long

being smart being quiet nice don’t long school it’s considered acting right I

school it’s considered acting right I

school it’s considered acting right I just think as an eleven-year-old a thing

just think as an eleven-year-old a thing

just think as an eleven-year-old a thing I’m a really curious person like I love

I’m a really curious person like I love

I’m a really curious person like I love to learn about a lot of things I’m

to learn about a lot of things I’m

to learn about a lot of things I’m thinking okay if I don’t do well in

thinking okay if I don’t do well in

thinking okay if I don’t do well in school my parents knowing that they’re

school my parents knowing that they’re

school my parents knowing that they’re from Cameroon

from Cameroon

from Cameroon they’re going to start giving me this

they’re going to start giving me this

they’re going to start giving me this rant about how you know you have all

rant about how you know you have all

rant about how you know you have all these resources like you should get

these resources like you should get

these resources like you should get nothing less than an a you’re in America

nothing less than an a you’re in America

nothing less than an a you’re in America okay like has any of you guys are

okay like has any of you guys are

okay like has any of you guys are parents give me a pep talk before like

parents give me a pep talk before like

parents give me a pep talk before like we have you guys have so many resources

we have you guys have so many resources

we have you guys have so many resources or you shout nothing less than an a

or you shout nothing less than an a

or you shout nothing less than an a everything is you know what I’m talking

everything is you know what I’m talking

everything is you know what I’m talking about

about

about and also I’m just thinking to myself man

and also I’m just thinking to myself man

and also I’m just thinking to myself man I’m a really shy person I really don’t

I’m a really shy person I really don’t

I’m a really shy person I really don’t like it when I get put on the spot

like it when I get put on the spot

like it when I get put on the spot because I feel awkward when people are

because I feel awkward when people are

because I feel awkward when people are looking at me and hearing me talk and

looking at me and hearing me talk and

looking at me and hearing me talk and also it never causes my mind not being

also it never causes my mind not being

also it never causes my mind not being nice exactly why I’m just thinking the

nice exactly why I’m just thinking the

nice exactly why I’m just thinking the Golden Rule treat others the way you

Golden Rule treat others the way you

Golden Rule treat others the way you like to be treated like if I want to be

like to be treated like if I want to be

like to be treated like if I want to be treated nice I’ll you know I’ll treat

treated nice I’ll you know I’ll treat

treated nice I’ll you know I’ll treat you nice it’s like it’s common courtesy

you nice it’s like it’s common courtesy

you nice it’s like it’s common courtesy 101 okay you learn at home but I mean I

101 okay you learn at home but I mean I

101 okay you learn at home but I mean I just take those three things about me

just take those three things about me

just take those three things about me and for some reason I just look at it

and for some reason I just look at it

and for some reason I just look at it and think of it that’s all that there is

and think of it that’s all that there is

and think of it that’s all that there is to me and I start to see myself as a

to me and I start to see myself as a

to me and I start to see myself as a stereotype I believe that our self

stereotype I believe that our self

stereotype I believe that our self perception the story / stories we keep

perception the story / stories we keep

perception the story / stories we keep telling ourselves in our head over and

telling ourselves in our head over and

telling ourselves in our head over and over again can either hinder us from

over again can either hinder us from

over again can either hinder us from being the best version of herself or it

being the best version of herself or it

being the best version of herself or it can help us believe in ourselves and

can help us believe in ourselves and

can help us believe in ourselves and help us see our own greatness basically

help us see our own greatness basically

help us see our own greatness basically what you need to know is that our self

what you need to know is that our self

what you need to know is that our self perception is basically something that

perception is basically something that

perception is basically something that we get from our interaction from the

we get from our interaction from the

we get from our interaction from the world around us and what we are young we

world around us and what we are young we

world around us and what we are young we just tend to believe everything that

just tend to believe everything that

just tend to believe everything that people tell us and we just unconsciously

people tell us and we just unconsciously

people tell us and we just unconsciously believe them

believe them

believe them and then the hard thing is that we

and then the hard thing is that we

and then the hard thing is that we believe the most negative things about

believe the most negative things about

believe the most negative things about ourselves and when we keep telling

ourselves and when we keep telling

ourselves and when we keep telling ourselves this over and over again we

ourselves this over and over again we

ourselves this over and over again we just start to see yourself as well like

just start to see yourself as well like

just start to see yourself as well like me less than so how do we dismantle our

me less than so how do we dismantle our

me less than so how do we dismantle our negative stories and self perception

negative stories and self perception

negative stories and self perception about ourselves first we have to have a

about ourselves first we have to have a

about ourselves first we have to have a deep conscious look at who we are and

deep conscious look at who we are and

deep conscious look at who we are and gather evidence that either confirm or

gather evidence that either confirm or

gather evidence that either confirm or denies the personal belief system that

denies the personal belief system that

denies the personal belief system that we have

we have

we have put together for ourselves secondly we

put together for ourselves secondly we

put together for ourselves secondly we have to realize that it is a choice to

have to realize that it is a choice to

have to realize that it is a choice to give in to other people’s opinions about

give in to other people’s opinions about

give in to other people’s opinions about ourselves and lastly we need to let go

ourselves and lastly we need to let go

ourselves and lastly we need to let go the past and forgive ourselves but first

the past and forgive ourselves but first

the past and forgive ourselves but first things first like we got to have a deep

things first like we got to have a deep

things first like we got to have a deep conscious look at who we are so when I

conscious look at who we are so when I

conscious look at who we are so when I was talking to a friend about this

was talking to a friend about this

was talking to a friend about this moment it actually hit me that for the

moment it actually hit me that for the

moment it actually hit me that for the longest time I was living in other

longest time I was living in other

longest time I was living in other people’s opinions about me and I never

people’s opinions about me and I never

people’s opinions about me and I never gave myself the chance to be myself

gave myself the chance to be myself

gave myself the chance to be myself and at first I do what everyone does

and at first I do what everyone does

and at first I do what everyone does when you just don’t want to believe that

when you just don’t want to believe that

when you just don’t want to believe that it’s true I went into the denial mode

it’s true I went into the denial mode

it’s true I went into the denial mode but then when I look back I just

but then when I look back I just

but then when I look back I just remember this moment that I had my

remember this moment that I had my

remember this moment that I had my brother like a few years back and he

brother like a few years back and he

brother like a few years back and he just told me hey sis I see the way that

just told me hey sis I see the way that

just told me hey sis I see the way that you have to act at school it must be

you have to act at school it must be

you have to act at school it must be tough for you I don’t know what it feels

tough for you I don’t know what it feels

tough for you I don’t know what it feels like but I’m sorry that you have to do

like but I’m sorry that you have to do

like but I’m sorry that you have to do this so you don’t feel awkward and feel

this so you don’t feel awkward and feel

this so you don’t feel awkward and feel like no one hates you then I’m thinking

like no one hates you then I’m thinking

like no one hates you then I’m thinking about that I just had to start looking

about that I just had to start looking

about that I just had to start looking for evidence about myself that was

for evidence about myself that was

for evidence about myself that was positive and when I did I just realized

positive and when I did I just realized

positive and when I did I just realized man all those all of the things that

man all those all of the things that

man all those all of the things that people said about me being an Oreo and

people said about me being an Oreo and

people said about me being an Oreo and acting white makes no sense when I think

acting white makes no sense when I think

acting white makes no sense when I think back about why that word hurts so much

back about why that word hurts so much

back about why that word hurts so much except it really sucks knowing that the

except it really sucks knowing that the

except it really sucks knowing that the person who told me this was a friend and

person who told me this was a friend and

person who told me this was a friend and I loved all the friends she was the

I loved all the friends she was the

I loved all the friends she was the closest one and it just made me wonder

closest one and it just made me wonder

closest one and it just made me wonder did she ever see me as a full person

did she ever see me as a full person

did she ever see me as a full person this entire time but I just her token

and with that I mean I took that pain

and with that I mean I took that pain with me into every interaction in every

with me into every interaction in every

with me into every interaction in every friendship that I had and anytime I was

friendship that I had and anytime I was

friendship that I had and anytime I was talking with someone in my back of my

talking with someone in my back of my

talking with someone in my back of my mind I’m just thinking okay did he like

mind I’m just thinking okay did he like

mind I’m just thinking okay did he like me for me or to be like him because I’m

me for me or to be like him because I’m

me for me or to be like him because I’m what she said of me in the past

what she said of me in the past

what she said of me in the past a token and Oreo and see that’s just for

a token and Oreo and see that’s just for

a token and Oreo and see that’s just for me I look back I’m just like that’s a

me I look back I’m just like that’s a

me I look back I’m just like that’s a horrible way to

horrible way to

horrible way to think of myself because I was depriving

think of myself because I was depriving

think of myself because I was depriving myself of the joys in my life

myself of the joys in my life

myself of the joys in my life and so when I forgave myself for that

and so when I forgave myself for that

and so when I forgave myself for that moment for that person telling me for

moment for that person telling me for

moment for that person telling me for all the times that I interact with

all the times that I interact with

all the times that I interact with people and I did nothing it was a big

people and I did nothing it was a big

people and I did nothing it was a big release you see everyone keeps telling

release you see everyone keeps telling

release you see everyone keeps telling you that forgiving is about forgiving

you that forgiving is about forgiving

you that forgiving is about forgiving the other person but it’s true but you

the other person but it’s true but you

the other person but it’s true but you also have to forgive yourself because

also have to forgive yourself because

also have to forgive yourself because when you forgive yourself you give

when you forgive yourself you give

when you forgive yourself you give yourself the permission and the freedom

yourself the permission and the freedom

yourself the permission and the freedom to let go of all the negativity you have

to let go of all the negativity you have

to let go of all the negativity you have towards that person or that situation

towards that person or that situation

towards that person or that situation and man it is very liberating knowing

and man it is very liberating knowing

and man it is very liberating knowing that I don’t have to take that pain with

that I don’t have to take that pain with

that I don’t have to take that pain with me knowing that I don’t have to see

me knowing that I don’t have to see

me knowing that I don’t have to see myself in that way anymore that to me is

myself in that way anymore that to me is

myself in that way anymore that to me is my own progress as a person because now

my own progress as a person because now

my own progress as a person because now when I think about the word I think man

when I think about the word I think man

when I think about the word I think man I must have been a really strong girl to

I must have been a really strong girl to

I must have been a really strong girl to be able to tolerate all those people

be able to tolerate all those people

be able to tolerate all those people telling me those things all these years

telling me those things all these years

telling me those things all these years and still holding my head up high

and still holding my head up high

and still holding my head up high because I must have believed that I am

because I must have believed that I am

because I must have believed that I am NOT going to see myself this way for the

NOT going to see myself this way for the

NOT going to see myself this way for the rest of my life and that this is

rest of my life and that this is

rest of my life and that this is temporary and so for any of you guys out

temporary and so for any of you guys out

temporary and so for any of you guys out there who’s seeing yourself in this

there who’s seeing yourself in this

there who’s seeing yourself in this negative light just know that is not you

negative light just know that is not you

negative light just know that is not you you are not that person at all know that

you are not that person at all know that

you are not that person at all know that I see you and I am with you when I tell

I see you and I am with you when I tell

I see you and I am with you when I tell you that your self perception is always

you that your self perception is always

you that your self perception is always going to change and that’s a beautiful

going to change and that’s a beautiful

going to change and that’s a beautiful thing because you can disregard what

thing because you can disregard what

thing because you can disregard what anyone tells you about yourself that

anyone tells you about yourself that

anyone tells you about yourself that you’d know that is not true and I know

you’d know that is not true and I know

you’d know that is not true and I know for a fact if I wasn’t called that word

for a fact if I wasn’t called that word

for a fact if I wasn’t called that word I honestly would not be here today

I honestly would not be here today

I honestly would not be here today giving you this talk and I wouldn’t be

giving you this talk and I wouldn’t be

giving you this talk and I wouldn’t be who and where I am today

who and where I am today

who and where I am today so as you leave here today I want you to

so as you leave here today I want you to

so as you leave here today I want you to ask yourself this am I’m living in my

ask yourself this am I’m living in my

ask yourself this am I’m living in my own opinion of myself based on what I

own opinion of myself based on what I

own opinion of myself based on what I believe to be true about myself or

and my living’ based on other people’s

and my living’ based on other people’s opinions about me if you’re doing the

opinions about me if you’re doing the

opinions about me if you’re doing the first one hey congratulations if from

first one hey congratulations if from

first one hey congratulations if from the second camp hey it’s going to be

the second camp hey it’s going to be

the second camp hey it’s going to be okay because you don’t have to hold

okay because you don’t have to hold

okay because you don’t have to hold yourself hostage to who you used to be

yourself hostage to who you used to be

yourself hostage to who you used to be or anything they used to do because who

or anything they used to do because who

or anything they used to do because who hasn’t learned and who hasn’t learned

hasn’t learned and who hasn’t learned

hasn’t learned and who hasn’t learned Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey mmm-hmm Oprah always has words of wisdom

mmm-hmm Oprah always has words of wisdom

mmm-hmm Oprah always has words of wisdom that always makes everything seem better

that always makes everything seem better

that always makes everything seem better right and so the one thing I hope that

right and so the one thing I hope that

right and so the one thing I hope that you take with you today is the only self

you take with you today is the only self

you take with you today is the only self perception matter yours now you don’t

perception matter yours now you don’t

perception matter yours now you don’t have to bring whatever happening in the

have to bring whatever happening in the

have to bring whatever happening in the past into the present because trust me

past into the present because trust me

past into the present because trust me you’re not going to love your present

you’re not going to love your present

you’re not going to love your present and your present has so much to give you

and your present has so much to give you

and your present has so much to give you and also if you’re someone who’s just

and also if you’re someone who’s just

and also if you’re someone who’s just willing and really wants to get rid of

willing and really wants to get rid of

willing and really wants to get rid of your negative self assumptions just know

your negative self assumptions just know

your negative self assumptions just know it’s fun but it’s hard because you’re

it’s fun but it’s hard because you’re

it’s fun but it’s hard because you’re really having to look deep within

really having to look deep within

really having to look deep within yourself and really counteract

yourself and really counteract

yourself and really counteract everything that you used to believe but

everything that you used to believe but

everything that you used to believe but I’m telling you it is gratifying and

I’m telling you it is gratifying and

I’m telling you it is gratifying and you’ll see how much strength and how

you’ll see how much strength and how

you’ll see how much strength and how much power you have inside of you and

much power you have inside of you and

much power you have inside of you and then you have more than you can ever

then you have more than you can ever

then you have more than you can ever imagine thank you very much

imagine thank you very much

imagine thank you very much [Applause]

”

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