I want to tell you about a power we have to make deep connections with other
to make deep connections with other
to make deep connections with other people that can change our lives
people that can change our lives
people that can change our lives connections that can teach us about
connections that can teach us about
connections that can teach us about ourselves and each other
ourselves and each other
ourselves and each other we need connections but we’re so often
we need connections but we’re so often
we need connections but we’re so often disconnected from each other we don’t
disconnected from each other we don’t
disconnected from each other we don’t always live near our families anymore
always live near our families anymore
always live near our families anymore and even if we do we don’t have time to
and even if we do we don’t have time to
and even if we do we don’t have time to get together so we use these tiny lines
get together so we use these tiny lines
get together so we use these tiny lines of text to connect us that’s not good
of text to connect us that’s not good
of text to connect us that’s not good enough there’s a better way to make a
enough there’s a better way to make a
enough there’s a better way to make a connection with other people than by
connection with other people than by
connection with other people than by using an app it’s called interviewing
using an app it’s called interviewing
using an app it’s called interviewing and it happens face-to-face I’m gonna
and it happens face-to-face I’m gonna
and it happens face-to-face I’m gonna teach you how to do it but first I want
teach you how to do it but first I want
teach you how to do it but first I want to tell you what you can learn by
to tell you what you can learn by
to tell you what you can learn by interviewing a stranger I’ve been a
interviewing a stranger I’ve been a
interviewing a stranger I’ve been a radio journalist almost my whole life
radio journalist almost my whole life
radio journalist almost my whole life and in the year 2000 I decided to
and in the year 2000 I decided to
and in the year 2000 I decided to interview 25 people who were over the
interview 25 people who were over the
interview 25 people who were over the age of 100 I thought I knew a few things
age of 100 I thought I knew a few things
age of 100 I thought I knew a few things about interviewing these people’s lives
about interviewing these people’s lives
about interviewing these people’s lives had spanned the entire 20th century so
had spanned the entire 20th century so
had spanned the entire 20th century so in order to get ready
in order to get ready
in order to get ready I made these huge long lists of
I made these huge long lists of
I made these huge long lists of questions that dealt with all the major
questions that dealt with all the major
questions that dealt with all the major historical events of the 20th century
historical events of the 20th century
historical events of the 20th century but those people surprised me they were
but those people surprised me they were
but those people surprised me they were way more interested in the future than
way more interested in the future than
way more interested in the future than they were in the past one of them was
they were in the past one of them was
they were in the past one of them was still teaching law one was still driving
that was one guy who was desperate to
that was one guy who was desperate to get married and then there was this
get married and then there was this
get married and then there was this beautiful woman who had dyed her hair
beautiful woman who had dyed her hair
beautiful woman who had dyed her hair bright red and every morning she went
bright red and every morning she went
bright red and every morning she went down to the lake behind her house and
down to the lake behind her house and
down to the lake behind her house and she rode her boat her name was Anna will
soon after I started interviewing Anne I
soon after I started interviewing Anne I had to throw out my long list of
had to throw out my long list of
had to throw out my long list of questions because what I really wanted
questions because what I really wanted
questions because what I really wanted to know was what gave her life so much
to know was what gave her life so much
to know was what gave her life so much meaning and the answer had to do with
meaning and the answer had to do with
meaning and the answer had to do with her sense of place
her sense of place
her sense of place she loved her neighbors her house her
she loved her neighbors her house her
she loved her neighbors her house her lake she loved to be outside where she
lake she loved to be outside where she
lake she loved to be outside where she could row her boat and swim and just sit
could row her boat and swim and just sit
could row her boat and swim and just sit under the trees and I realized pretty
under the trees and I realized pretty
under the trees and I realized pretty soon that Anna’s truth is my truth I
soon that Anna’s truth is my truth I
soon that Anna’s truth is my truth I love trees
love trees
love trees I love lakes I love to swim outside I’ve
I love lakes I love to swim outside I’ve
I love lakes I love to swim outside I’ve even been known to skinny-dip
so what did I learn by interviewing a
so what did I learn by interviewing a hundred year old woman who until that
hundred year old woman who until that
hundred year old woman who until that day had been a complete stranger to me
day had been a complete stranger to me
day had been a complete stranger to me well I made a friend who I visited for
well I made a friend who I visited for
well I made a friend who I visited for several years and I got a glimpse of
several years and I got a glimpse of
several years and I got a glimpse of myself at age 100 and now I have an an
myself at age 100 and now I have an an
myself at age 100 and now I have an an image of me as a very old lady that
image of me as a very old lady that
image of me as a very old lady that thrills me you don’t have to be a
thrills me you don’t have to be a
thrills me you don’t have to be a journalist to use interviewing skills in
journalist to use interviewing skills in
journalist to use interviewing skills in our daily lives we all ask questions we
our daily lives we all ask questions we
our daily lives we all ask questions we all make assessments we all reach
all make assessments we all reach
all make assessments we all reach conclusions it’s not quite the same as
conclusions it’s not quite the same as
conclusions it’s not quite the same as interviewing an interview is a
interviewing an interview is a
interviewing an interview is a conversation with intention it’s not a
conversation with intention it’s not a
conversation with intention it’s not a casual chitchat okay in my job at the
casual chitchat okay in my job at the
casual chitchat okay in my job at the public radio station I am very lucky to
public radio station I am very lucky to
public radio station I am very lucky to get to teach what I love and I teach
get to teach what I love and I teach
get to teach what I love and I teach community members who are not
community members who are not
community members who are not journalists to do interviews and we put
journalists to do interviews and we put
journalists to do interviews and we put those interviews on the radio among the
those interviews on the radio among the
those interviews on the radio among the most interesting or what I call
most interesting or what I call
most interesting or what I call peer-to-peer interviews between people
peer-to-peer interviews between people
peer-to-peer interviews between people who have a shared experience because
who have a shared experience because
who have a shared experience because there’s already a trust there for
there’s already a trust there for
there’s already a trust there for example we have a project called
example we have a project called
example we have a project called veterans voices
veterans voices
veterans voices well we train military veterans to
well we train military veterans to
well we train military veterans to interview each other we put them on the
interview each other we put them on the
interview each other we put them on the radio I’m going to play a little clip
radio I’m going to play a little clip
radio I’m going to play a little clip now of an interview between two veterans
now of an interview between two veterans
now of an interview between two veterans and what they’re talking about is what
and what they’re talking about is what
and what they’re talking about is what it’s like to see their young children
it’s like to see their young children
it’s like to see their young children again after a long deployment
when I landed my daughter literally
when I landed my daughter literally didn’t even seem to recognize me or to
didn’t even seem to recognize me or to
didn’t even seem to recognize me or to like I I wouldn’t say there was nothing
like I I wouldn’t say there was nothing
like I I wouldn’t say there was nothing to her but really she’s just we we got
to her but really she’s just we we got
to her but really she’s just we we got in the car and I looked back you know it
in the car and I looked back you know it
in the car and I looked back you know it and I tried to you know connect with her
and I tried to you know connect with her
and I tried to you know connect with her and she was just kind of like who are
and she was just kind of like who are
and she was just kind of like who are you we also trained a group of
you we also trained a group of
you we also trained a group of incarcerated women from the Dayton
incarcerated women from the Dayton
incarcerated women from the Dayton Correctional Institution to interview
Correctional Institution to interview
Correctional Institution to interview each other and those interviews went
each other and those interviews went
each other and those interviews went very deep very fast because as those
very deep very fast because as those
very deep very fast because as those women had so much empathy for each other
women had so much empathy for each other
women had so much empathy for each other you can go to Timbuktu trying to get
you can go to Timbuktu trying to get
you can go to Timbuktu trying to get away from drugs if you want it your body
away from drugs if you want it your body
away from drugs if you want it your body got an itch for it you can find it and I
got an itch for it you can find it and I
got an itch for it you can find it and I moved to Columbus Ohio gotta look each
moved to Columbus Ohio gotta look each
moved to Columbus Ohio gotta look each for one day right around the corner and
for one day right around the corner and
for one day right around the corner and from there you know my life kind of
from there you know my life kind of
from there you know my life kind of spiraled out of control again so you’re
spiraled out of control again so you’re
spiraled out of control again so you’re hearing DC onion present mana for my
hearing DC onion present mana for my
hearing DC onion present mana for my understanding which is a touchy subject
understanding which is a touchy subject
understanding which is a touchy subject for anyone that knows you because so
for anyone that knows you because so
for anyone that knows you because so many people love you you have life
many people love you you have life
many people love you you have life without parole am I correct yes
without parole am I correct yes
without parole am I correct yes yes I see these women felt safe with
yes I see these women felt safe with
yes I see these women felt safe with each other
each other
each other safer than they would have I think than
safer than they would have I think than
safer than they would have I think than if they’d been interviewed by a stranger
if they’d been interviewed by a stranger
if they’d been interviewed by a stranger who might judge them I think it would be
who might judge them I think it would be
who might judge them I think it would be absolutely amazing if we heard more of
absolutely amazing if we heard more of
absolutely amazing if we heard more of these peer-to-peer interviews on the
these peer-to-peer interviews on the
these peer-to-peer interviews on the radio and on television too we all have
radio and on television too we all have
radio and on television too we all have so much to learn I think we’d see each
so much to learn I think we’d see each
so much to learn I think we’d see each other so much more clearly we’d
other so much more clearly we’d
other so much more clearly we’d understand each other so much better
understand each other so much better
understand each other so much better so do you know yet who you’re gonna
so do you know yet who you’re gonna
so do you know yet who you’re gonna interview I would recommend that you
interview I would recommend that you
interview I would recommend that you start with a family member because
start with a family member because
start with a family member because interviews with loved ones can be the
interviews with loved ones can be the
interviews with loved ones can be the most fulfilling of all and here’s how
most fulfilling of all and here’s how
most fulfilling of all and here’s how you do it it’s very easy number one
you do it it’s very easy number one
you do it it’s very easy number one think about what you want to know write
think about what you want to know write
think about what you want to know write down some questions
number two tell that person you know
number two tell that person you know this isn’t gonna be a casual interview I
this isn’t gonna be a casual interview I
this isn’t gonna be a casual interview I want to know the story of your life
want to know the story of your life
want to know the story of your life number three create a quiet place no
number three create a quiet place no
number three create a quiet place no telephone no TV and no other people for
telephone no TV and no other people for
telephone no TV and no other people for sure
sure
sure number four start slow and ask them to
number four start slow and ask them to
number four start slow and ask them to tell you stories say something like tell
tell you stories say something like tell
tell you stories say something like tell me about your first day of school and
me about your first day of school and
me about your first day of school and number five when that person starts
number five when that person starts
number five when that person starts talking you sit perfectly still
talking you sit perfectly still
talking you sit perfectly still just listen make eye contact give that
just listen make eye contact give that
just listen make eye contact give that person the gift of your full attention
person the gift of your full attention
person the gift of your full attention and when you do that very slowly
and when you do that very slowly
and when you do that very slowly something deep and powerful is gonna
something deep and powerful is gonna
something deep and powerful is gonna happen to you I’ve been interviewing my
happen to you I’ve been interviewing my
happen to you I’ve been interviewing my dad for several years he’s 88
dad for several years he’s 88
dad for several years he’s 88 he’s also been a radio producer most of
he’s also been a radio producer most of
he’s also been a radio producer most of his life and he’s a great storyteller a
his life and he’s a great storyteller a
his life and he’s a great storyteller a great storyteller so we’ve been
great storyteller so we’ve been
great storyteller so we’ve been documenting his life when my dad and I
documenting his life when my dad and I
documenting his life when my dad and I sit down on his couch and start our
sit down on his couch and start our
sit down on his couch and start our interviews that deep and powerful thing
interviews that deep and powerful thing
interviews that deep and powerful thing happens to us every single time the room
happens to us every single time the room
happens to us every single time the room drops away time stands still it’s as if
drops away time stands still it’s as if
drops away time stands still it’s as if we’re stepping into another dimension
we’re stepping into another dimension
we’re stepping into another dimension and my dad starts to remember things
and my dad starts to remember things
and my dad starts to remember things that he hasn’t thought of in years in
that he hasn’t thought of in years in
that he hasn’t thought of in years in years I want to tell you about what
years I want to tell you about what
years I want to tell you about what science calls limbic resonance which
science calls limbic resonance which
science calls limbic resonance which explains that phenomenon okay because
explains that phenomenon okay because
explains that phenomenon okay because we’re mammals we have this region in our
we’re mammals we have this region in our
we’re mammals we have this region in our brain called the limbic region where
brain called the limbic region where
brain called the limbic region where emotions reside and with time and
emotions reside and with time and
emotions reside and with time and proximity we begin to feel each other’s
proximity we begin to feel each other’s
proximity we begin to feel each other’s emotional state
emotional state
emotional state it’s a real sensory experience just like
it’s a real sensory experience just like
it’s a real sensory experience just like seeing or hearing only nobody much talks
seeing or hearing only nobody much talks
seeing or hearing only nobody much talks about it and they sure don’t teach you
about it and they sure don’t teach you
about it and they sure don’t teach you how to do it but you follow these five
how to do it but you follow these five
how to do it but you follow these five steps and you’re gonna be on your way
steps and you’re gonna be on your way
steps and you’re gonna be on your way and limbic resonance feels great it
and limbic resonance feels great it
and limbic resonance feels great it might be the best feeling the best
might be the best feeling the best
might be the best feeling the best feeling I think there’s nothing that
feeling I think there’s nothing that
feeling I think there’s nothing that people want more and to spend time with
people want more and to spend time with
people want more and to spend time with people they care about
people they care about
people they care about and feel that deep connection remember I
and feel that deep connection remember I
and feel that deep connection remember I said that that connection can change
said that that connection can change
said that that connection can change your life I want to tell you about some
your life I want to tell you about some
your life I want to tell you about some aha moments that I’ve had with my dad in
aha moments that I’ve had with my dad in
aha moments that I’ve had with my dad in 1959 my dad got fired
1959 my dad got fired
1959 my dad got fired he poured all of his anger and
he poured all of his anger and
he poured all of his anger and frustration into building a beautiful
frustration into building a beautiful
frustration into building a beautiful tree house for us kids we loved that
tree house for us kids we loved that
tree house for us kids we loved that tree house and I used to think about
tree house and I used to think about
tree house and I used to think about that oak tree as if for another human
that oak tree as if for another human
that oak tree as if for another human being and when my dad told me that story
being and when my dad told me that story
being and when my dad told me that story I thought AHA that’s where I got my love
I thought AHA that’s where I got my love
I thought AHA that’s where I got my love for trees another story my dad grew up
for trees another story my dad grew up
for trees another story my dad grew up on the south side of Chicago in the
on the south side of Chicago in the
on the south side of Chicago in the great depression in an immigrant
great depression in an immigrant
great depression in an immigrant neighborhood and when it got really hot
neighborhood and when it got really hot
neighborhood and when it got really hot outside they would all get on the
outside they would all get on the
outside they would all get on the streetcar and they’d go down to Lake
streetcar and they’d go down to Lake
streetcar and they’d go down to Lake Michigan and the women would lay out
Michigan and the women would lay out
Michigan and the women would lay out food and the men would tell stories
food and the men would tell stories
food and the men would tell stories about the old country and when the Sun
about the old country and when the Sun
about the old country and when the Sun went down they would all sleep on the
went down they would all sleep on the
went down they would all sleep on the beach where it was nice and cool and my
beach where it was nice and cool and my
beach where it was nice and cool and my dad loved those evenings by the beach
dad loved those evenings by the beach
dad loved those evenings by the beach and I thought AHA that’s why I got my
and I thought AHA that’s why I got my
and I thought AHA that’s why I got my love of the lake from my dad and then
love of the lake from my dad and then
love of the lake from my dad and then here’s a story I just heard recently all
here’s a story I just heard recently all
here’s a story I just heard recently all my life I never never knew this how my
my life I never never knew this how my
my life I never never knew this how my dad got connected to radio turns out
dad got connected to radio turns out
dad got connected to radio turns out in high school my dad had a choir
in high school my dad had a choir
in high school my dad had a choir teacher who singled him out and said you
teacher who singled him out and said you
teacher who singled him out and said you have a beautiful voice
have a beautiful voice
have a beautiful voice you sound like Bing Crosby and that set
you sound like Bing Crosby and that set
you sound like Bing Crosby and that set my dad on his path this woman whose name
my dad on his path this woman whose name
my dad on his path this woman whose name I don’t know changed my dad’s life and
I don’t know changed my dad’s life and
I don’t know changed my dad’s life and mine there’s nobody but my dad my dear
mine there’s nobody but my dad my dear
mine there’s nobody but my dad my dear dad that could have told me these
dad that could have told me these
dad that could have told me these stories and these stories help me in my
stories and these stories help me in my
stories and these stories help me in my search for Who I am interviewing with an
search for Who I am interviewing with an
search for Who I am interviewing with an open mind and an open heart and deepen
open mind and an open heart and deepen
open mind and an open heart and deepen the love you have for people you already
the love you have for people you already
the love you have for people you already know and bring you close to people that
know and bring you close to people that
know and bring you close to people that you’ve just met interviewing is a
you’ve just met interviewing is a
you’ve just met interviewing is a conversation with intention and when you
conversation with intention and when you
conversation with intention and when you do it right you can know yourself better
do it right you can know yourself better
do it right you can know yourself better and change your life so who are you
and change your life so who are you
and change your life so who are you gonna interview good luck
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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