hi my name is Katya Slater and it’s my job
my name is Katya Slater and it’s my job
my name is Katya Slater and it’s my job to make people uncomfortable I don’t
to make people uncomfortable I don’t
to make people uncomfortable I don’t mean to brag but I’m a natural I’ve been
mean to brag but I’m a natural I’ve been
mean to brag but I’m a natural I’ve been doing it in my whole life and it’s not
doing it in my whole life and it’s not
doing it in my whole life and it’s not because I’m socially awkward though I
because I’m socially awkward though I
because I’m socially awkward though I can be at times or even that I enjoy
can be at times or even that I enjoy
can be at times or even that I enjoy defying stereotypes and cultural norms
defying stereotypes and cultural norms
defying stereotypes and cultural norms which coincidentally I do I’m a natural
which coincidentally I do I’m a natural
which coincidentally I do I’m a natural because the things that I like to talk
because the things that I like to talk
because the things that I like to talk about with total strangers are generally
about with total strangers are generally
about with total strangers are generally the things that most people run away
the things that most people run away
the things that most people run away from religion politics trauma Doctor Who
from religion politics trauma Doctor Who
from religion politics trauma Doctor Who you know the important stuff but it
you know the important stuff but it
you know the important stuff but it makes people uncomfortable so I do it
makes people uncomfortable so I do it
makes people uncomfortable so I do it because I subscribe to the philosophy
because I subscribe to the philosophy
because I subscribe to the philosophy that it’s only awkward if you make it
that it’s only awkward if you make it
that it’s only awkward if you make it awkward and anyway I have a superpower I
awkward and anyway I have a superpower I
awkward and anyway I have a superpower I don’t get embarrassed no really I don’t
don’t get embarrassed no really I don’t
don’t get embarrassed no really I don’t in fact I once participated in a psych
in fact I once participated in a psych
in fact I once participated in a psych study in college where I had to identify
study in college where I had to identify
study in college where I had to identify different emotions based on facial
different emotions based on facial
different emotions based on facial expressions that I saw frowny face anger
expressions that I saw frowny face anger
expressions that I saw frowny face anger smiling face joy crinkled nose disgust
smiling face joy crinkled nose disgust
smiling face joy crinkled nose disgust on and on the faces flashed on my
on and on the faces flashed on my
on and on the faces flashed on my computer screen and I recognized all of
computer screen and I recognized all of
computer screen and I recognized all of them except for embarrassment when that
them except for embarrassment when that
them except for embarrassment when that face popped up it just would not reveal
face popped up it just would not reveal
face popped up it just would not reveal its secrets to me so I skipped it well
its secrets to me so I skipped it well
its secrets to me so I skipped it well I’ve since learned what embarrassment
I’ve since learned what embarrassment
I’ve since learned what embarrassment looks like on other people’s faces but
looks like on other people’s faces but
looks like on other people’s faces but the emotion itself remains relatively
the emotion itself remains relatively
the emotion itself remains relatively foreign to me I skip it which is rather
foreign to me I skip it which is rather
foreign to me I skip it which is rather beneficial because I’m paid to talk to
beneficial because I’m paid to talk to
beneficial because I’m paid to talk to middle schoolers and high schoolers
middle schoolers and high schoolers
middle schoolers and high schoolers about sex it’s my job to make people
about sex it’s my job to make people
about sex it’s my job to make people uncomfortable
uncomfortable
uncomfortable there’s no getting around that
there’s no getting around that
there’s no getting around that awkwardness trust me
awkwardness trust me
awkwardness trust me teenagers may be comfortable talking
teenagers may be comfortable talking
teenagers may be comfortable talking about sex with their peers or googling
about sex with their peers or googling
about sex with their peers or googling their questions but when a stranger
their questions but when a stranger
their questions but when a stranger walks into their second period class and
walks into their second period class and
walks into their second period class and their crush is sitting two seats away
their crush is sitting two seats away
their crush is sitting two seats away that discomfort is unassailable it
that discomfort is unassailable it
that discomfort is unassailable it doesn’t bother me of course and the
doesn’t bother me of course and the
doesn’t bother me of course and the thing to do in that situation is to
thing to do in that situation is to
thing to do in that situation is to acknowledge the emotion and then move on
acknowledge the emotion and then move on
acknowledge the emotion and then move on with the talk in the games in the candy
with the talk in the games in the candy
with the talk in the games in the candy bribery candy is a great way to get
bribery candy is a great way to get
bribery candy is a great way to get reluctant teens on your side but in the
reluctant teens on your side but in the
reluctant teens on your side but in the course of my career and watching all of
course of my career and watching all of
course of my career and watching all of these red faces and nervous giggles I’ve
these red faces and nervous giggles I’ve
these red faces and nervous giggles I’ve an opportunity to see what discomfort
an opportunity to see what discomfort
an opportunity to see what discomfort actually looks like and I’m not
actually looks like and I’m not
actually looks like and I’m not convinced it’s a bad thing in fact I
convinced it’s a bad thing in fact I
convinced it’s a bad thing in fact I think it’s a superpower what happens
think it’s a superpower what happens
think it’s a superpower what happens when people are uncomfortable what
when people are uncomfortable what
when people are uncomfortable what happened when I stood in front of you
happened when I stood in front of you
happened when I stood in front of you and did nothing the most beautiful human
and did nothing the most beautiful human
and did nothing the most beautiful human thing you started to question some of
thing you started to question some of
thing you started to question some of you even turned to your neighbors you
you even turned to your neighbors you
you even turned to your neighbors you wondered that that moment of uncertainty
wondered that that moment of uncertainty
wondered that that moment of uncertainty caused you to go from being passive to
caused you to go from being passive to
caused you to go from being passive to being active it spurred you to do see
being active it spurred you to do see
being active it spurred you to do see I’m of the opinion that discomfort is
I’m of the opinion that discomfort is
I’m of the opinion that discomfort is vital to human development without it we
vital to human development without it we
vital to human development without it we would never satisfy our burning
would never satisfy our burning
would never satisfy our burning curiosities or seek solutions to
curiosities or seek solutions to
curiosities or seek solutions to difficult problems in short we would
difficult problems in short we would
difficult problems in short we would never really grow as individuals or as a
never really grow as individuals or as a
never really grow as individuals or as a society discomfort is really just a mild
society discomfort is really just a mild
society discomfort is really just a mild form of pain and although no one enjoys
form of pain and although no one enjoys
form of pain and although no one enjoys that experience it can be a useful tool
that experience it can be a useful tool
that experience it can be a useful tool when our bodies hurt we know something
when our bodies hurt we know something
when our bodies hurt we know something is wrong when we cry our loved ones know
is wrong when we cry our loved ones know
is wrong when we cry our loved ones know to comfort us
to comfort us
to comfort us similarly discomfort can act as a
similarly discomfort can act as a
similarly discomfort can act as a diagnostic tool to clue us in to the
diagnostic tool to clue us in to the
diagnostic tool to clue us in to the state of our hearts and the state of our
state of our hearts and the state of our
state of our hearts and the state of our minds and it can serve as a catalyst for
minds and it can serve as a catalyst for
minds and it can serve as a catalyst for healthy change for example hearing about
healthy change for example hearing about
healthy change for example hearing about the signs of sexually transmitted
the signs of sexually transmitted
the signs of sexually transmitted diseases and how common they are in
diseases and how common they are in
diseases and how common they are in society may make a teenager
society may make a teenager
society may make a teenager uncomfortable about his own behaviors
uncomfortable about his own behaviors
uncomfortable about his own behaviors enough to get tested hearing about the
enough to get tested hearing about the
enough to get tested hearing about the warning signs of emotional abuse may
warning signs of emotional abuse may
warning signs of emotional abuse may make a teenager uncomfortable about her
make a teenager uncomfortable about her
make a teenager uncomfortable about her own relationship enough to seek help and
own relationship enough to seek help and
own relationship enough to seek help and that’s why I do what I do because not
that’s why I do what I do because not
that’s why I do what I do because not talking about the uncomfortable things
talking about the uncomfortable things
talking about the uncomfortable things doesn’t make them go away it just gives
doesn’t make them go away it just gives
doesn’t make them go away it just gives them more power any counselor will tell
them more power any counselor will tell
them more power any counselor will tell you that and I should know because I was
you that and I should know because I was
you that and I should know because I was one
one
one talking about the uncomfortable things
talking about the uncomfortable things
talking about the uncomfortable things can sometimes change lives and I think
can sometimes change lives and I think
can sometimes change lives and I think that is a superpower it’s also my job
that is a superpower it’s also my job
that is a superpower it’s also my job but lately it’s become become more than
but lately it’s become become more than
but lately it’s become become more than that it’s become my mission I’m a writer
that it’s become my mission I’m a writer
that it’s become my mission I’m a writer I use words to explore truth in the
I use words to explore truth in the
I use words to explore truth in the midst of fantasy I also like to dabble
midst of fantasy I also like to dabble
midst of fantasy I also like to dabble in songwriting and in both of these
in songwriting and in both of these
in songwriting and in both of these creative pursuits
creative pursuits
creative pursuits I relish discomfort I put my characters
I relish discomfort I put my characters
I relish discomfort I put my characters through beastly trials for the sake of a
through beastly trials for the sake of a
through beastly trials for the sake of a greater narrative in music I revel in
greater narrative in music I revel in
greater narrative in music I revel in dissonant chords and harmonies why
dissonant chords and harmonies why
dissonant chords and harmonies why because it’s what happens after that
because it’s what happens after that
because it’s what happens after that makes the choice so effective
makes the choice so effective
makes the choice so effective it’s the resolution that satisfies the
it’s the resolution that satisfies the
it’s the resolution that satisfies the chord progression it’s the character arc
chord progression it’s the character arc
chord progression it’s the character arc that colors the story denying my
that colors the story denying my
that colors the story denying my protagonist her well-deserved happy
protagonist her well-deserved happy
protagonist her well-deserved happy ending can be a powerful commentary that
ending can be a powerful commentary that
ending can be a powerful commentary that stirs people to emotion to empathy and
stirs people to emotion to empathy and
stirs people to emotion to empathy and sympathy Eric Whitacre whose piece sleep
sympathy Eric Whitacre whose piece sleep
sympathy Eric Whitacre whose piece sleep we’re currently listening to use this
we’re currently listening to use this
we’re currently listening to use this dissonance
dissonance
dissonance to evoke complexity and it gives people
to evoke complexity and it gives people
to evoke complexity and it gives people chills
chills
chills it’s these reactions to discomfort that
it’s these reactions to discomfort that
it’s these reactions to discomfort that makes us truly human and if you leverage
makes us truly human and if you leverage
makes us truly human and if you leverage those reactions amazing things can
those reactions amazing things can
those reactions amazing things can happen making people uncomfortable is
happen making people uncomfortable is
happen making people uncomfortable is often the first step to inspiring change
often the first step to inspiring change
often the first step to inspiring change Martin Luther King jr. made a lot of
Martin Luther King jr. made a lot of
Martin Luther King jr. made a lot of people uncomfortable
people uncomfortable
people uncomfortable so did Elizabeth Cady Stanton and
so did Elizabeth Cady Stanton and
so did Elizabeth Cady Stanton and benazir bhutto and Mahatma Gandhi and
benazir bhutto and Mahatma Gandhi and
benazir bhutto and Mahatma Gandhi and Jesus in fact that’s one of my favorite
Jesus in fact that’s one of my favorite
Jesus in fact that’s one of my favorite things about the Christian faith
things about the Christian faith
things about the Christian faith if the Bible doesn’t brush up against
if the Bible doesn’t brush up against
if the Bible doesn’t brush up against your sensibilities you clearly haven’t
your sensibilities you clearly haven’t
your sensibilities you clearly haven’t read very much of it it asks you to
read very much of it it asks you to
read very much of it it asks you to evaluate yourself and what you believe
evaluate yourself and what you believe
evaluate yourself and what you believe in and what guides you and it refuses to
in and what guides you and it refuses to
in and what guides you and it refuses to leave you in your comfort zone
leave you in your comfort zone
leave you in your comfort zone and really that’s the essence of this
and really that’s the essence of this
and really that’s the essence of this superpower
superpower
superpower it’s a defiance of complacency
it’s a defiance of complacency
it’s a defiance of complacency complacency will take you nowhere the
complacency will take you nowhere the
complacency will take you nowhere the old adage tells us that it’s not the
old adage tells us that it’s not the
old adage tells us that it’s not the destination that matters it’s the
destination that matters it’s the
destination that matters it’s the journey and that every great journey
journey and that every great journey
journey and that every great journey begins with a single step
begins with a single step
begins with a single step true but there’s a journey that takes
true but there’s a journey that takes
true but there’s a journey that takes place before that takes place in the
place before that takes place in the
place before that takes place in the heart takes place in the mind nobody
heart takes place in the mind nobody
heart takes place in the mind nobody wakes up one day to discover that
wakes up one day to discover that
wakes up one day to discover that they’re on a journey they must first
they’re on a journey they must first
they’re on a journey they must first decide to undertake it something
decide to undertake it something
decide to undertake it something extraordinary must happen in their
extraordinary must happen in their
extraordinary must happen in their brains to fire those neurons that take
brains to fire those neurons that take
brains to fire those neurons that take them from rest to motion because we
them from rest to motion because we
them from rest to motion because we learned from Newton that an object at
learned from Newton that an object at
learned from Newton that an object at rest will remain at rest unless an
rest will remain at rest unless an
rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts upon it a brain at
outside force acts upon it a brain at
outside force acts upon it a brain at rest will remain at rest unless an
rest will remain at rest unless an
rest will remain at rest unless an outside force makes it rest less and
outside force makes it rest less and
outside force makes it rest less and nothing quite triggers restlessness like
nothing quite triggers restlessness like
nothing quite triggers restlessness like discomfort and restlessness is close
discomfort and restlessness is close
discomfort and restlessness is close cousins with wanderlust which has
cousins with wanderlust which has
cousins with wanderlust which has inspired so many wonderful first steps
inspired so many wonderful first steps
inspired so many wonderful first steps but before you take that first step you
but before you take that first step you
but before you take that first step you must confront the question of what life
must confront the question of what life
must confront the question of what life would look like if you didn’t and if
would look like if you didn’t and if
would look like if you didn’t and if that makes you uncomfortable you act and
that makes you uncomfortable you act and
that makes you uncomfortable you act and that’s what I do for a living I make
that’s what I do for a living I make
that’s what I do for a living I make people uncomfortable because standing
people uncomfortable because standing
people uncomfortable because standing still equals stagnation and stagnation
still equals stagnation and stagnation
still equals stagnation and stagnation is really just a fancy word for a slow
is really just a fancy word for a slow
is really just a fancy word for a slow death I use my words to make people
death I use my words to make people
death I use my words to make people rethink reevaluate and respond I make
rethink reevaluate and respond I make
rethink reevaluate and respond I make people uncomfortable by exposing them to
people uncomfortable by exposing them to
people uncomfortable by exposing them to questions and allowing them the
questions and allowing them the
questions and allowing them the opportunity to be brave about the answer
opportunity to be brave about the answer
opportunity to be brave about the answer so what about you it’s one thing to
so what about you it’s one thing to
so what about you it’s one thing to listen to somebody quirky pontificate
listen to somebody quirky pontificate
listen to somebody quirky pontificate about redefining what is arguably one of
about redefining what is arguably one of
about redefining what is arguably one of the most primal human defense mechanisms
the most primal human defense mechanisms
the most primal human defense mechanisms fitting in with society it’s quite
fitting in with society it’s quite
fitting in with society it’s quite another to take that redefinition and
another to take that redefinition and
another to take that redefinition and apply it in your own life well if you’re
apply it in your own life well if you’re
apply it in your own life well if you’re feeling brave I have a big guy lingly
feeling brave I have a big guy lingly
feeling brave I have a big guy lingly simple recipe for
simple recipe for
simple recipe for you to cultivate your very own
you to cultivate your very own
you to cultivate your very own superpower step one make yourself
superpower step one make yourself
superpower step one make yourself uncomfortable if stagnation equals death
uncomfortable if stagnation equals death
uncomfortable if stagnation equals death then you’re just contributing to your
then you’re just contributing to your
then you’re just contributing to your demise by not challenging yourself
demise by not challenging yourself
demise by not challenging yourself confront your weaknesses confront the
confront your weaknesses confront the
confront your weaknesses confront the ugly parts of you confront your fears
ugly parts of you confront your fears
ugly parts of you confront your fears read books and articles on topics that
read books and articles on topics that
read books and articles on topics that are unfamiliar to you have conversations
are unfamiliar to you have conversations
are unfamiliar to you have conversations with people who hold viewpoints that are
with people who hold viewpoints that are
with people who hold viewpoints that are different than yours just like a potted
different than yours just like a potted
different than yours just like a potted plant will wither if it doesn’t have
plant will wither if it doesn’t have
plant will wither if it doesn’t have enough soil and space for its roots to
enough soil and space for its roots to
enough soil and space for its roots to grow so will you if you don’t expose
grow so will you if you don’t expose
grow so will you if you don’t expose yourself to new hard ideas step two make
yourself to new hard ideas step two make
yourself to new hard ideas step two make others uncomfortable speak up about your
others uncomfortable speak up about your
others uncomfortable speak up about your beliefs especially if you’re the only
beliefs especially if you’re the only
beliefs especially if you’re the only voice advocating for them but if you do
voice advocating for them but if you do
voice advocating for them but if you do so do it with humility and with kindness
so do it with humility and with kindness
so do it with humility and with kindness then be prepared to be profoundly
then be prepared to be profoundly
then be prepared to be profoundly ironically and even forgive ibly wrong
ironically and even forgive ibly wrong
ironically and even forgive ibly wrong your perspective is valuable but don’t
your perspective is valuable but don’t
your perspective is valuable but don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s
make the mistake of thinking it’s
make the mistake of thinking it’s impregnable however if your convictions
impregnable however if your convictions
impregnable however if your convictions run deep fight for them people will push
run deep fight for them people will push
run deep fight for them people will push against you expecting you to fall back
against you expecting you to fall back
against you expecting you to fall back in line based on the sheer force of
in line based on the sheer force of
in line based on the sheer force of their personalities let their opposition
their personalities let their opposition
their personalities let their opposition be an opportunity for you to strengthen
be an opportunity for you to strengthen
be an opportunity for you to strengthen and sharpen your character rather than
and sharpen your character rather than
and sharpen your character rather than dissuade you nothing kills innovation
dissuade you nothing kills innovation
dissuade you nothing kills innovation faster than giving in to discouragement
faster than giving in to discouragement
faster than giving in to discouragement and nothing inspires people more than
and nothing inspires people more than
and nothing inspires people more than pressing on in spite of it step 3
pressing on in spite of it step 3
pressing on in spite of it step 3 repeat
keep exploring keep learning keep
keep exploring keep learning keep challenging and dreaming do it when
challenging and dreaming do it when
challenging and dreaming do it when you’re high on confidence and do it when
you’re high on confidence and do it when
you’re high on confidence and do it when you’re low on motivation look that fear
you’re low on motivation look that fear
you’re low on motivation look that fear of rejection and failure straight in the
of rejection and failure straight in the
of rejection and failure straight in the face and remind yourself that you don’t
face and remind yourself that you don’t
face and remind yourself that you don’t have to be its prisoner you’ll win those
have to be its prisoner you’ll win those
have to be its prisoner you’ll win those inner battles and you lose some too it’s
inner battles and you lose some too it’s
inner battles and you lose some too it’s important to have someone to turn to in
important to have someone to turn to in
important to have someone to turn to in those moments of uncertainty one last
those moments of uncertainty one last
those moments of uncertainty one last tip as you do cyclical battle with these
tip as you do cyclical battle with these
tip as you do cyclical battle with these difficult emotions and ideas and
difficult emotions and ideas and
difficult emotions and ideas and successes and disappointments be sure
successes and disappointments be sure
successes and disappointments be sure not to let them define you if your
not to let them define you if your
not to let them define you if your identity rests in something that can
identity rests in something that can
identity rests in something that can crumble or change with time you’ll find
crumble or change with time you’ll find
crumble or change with time you’ll find yourself in a very precarious and
yourself in a very precarious and
yourself in a very precarious and dangerous place search for meaning
dangerous place search for meaning
dangerous place search for meaning outside of yourself and in someone
outside of yourself and in someone
outside of yourself and in someone immutable that way when you lose your
immutable that way when you lose your
immutable that way when you lose your way you can rest on that immutable
way you can rest on that immutable
way you can rest on that immutable strength I hope I’ve made you a little
strength I hope I’ve made you a little
strength I hope I’ve made you a little uncomfortable and I hope you’ll make
uncomfortable and I hope you’ll make
uncomfortable and I hope you’ll make others a little uncomfortable too
others a little uncomfortable too
others a little uncomfortable too because if you leverage it well if you
because if you leverage it well if you
because if you leverage it well if you embrace it it can be a superpower
embrace it it can be a superpower
embrace it it can be a superpower [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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