in my life experience and journey I had the pleasure of meeting a lot of
the pleasure of meeting a lot of
the pleasure of meeting a lot of successful people and I was always very
successful people and I was always very
successful people and I was always very very curious to know the common
very curious to know the common
very curious to know the common denominator factor that propelled their
denominator factor that propelled their
denominator factor that propelled their ascent they all came from very different
ascent they all came from very different
ascent they all came from very different backgrounds and some of them have to
backgrounds and some of them have to
backgrounds and some of them have to make it from extremely unfavorable
make it from extremely unfavorable
make it from extremely unfavorable conditions yet they all managed to
conditions yet they all managed to
conditions yet they all managed to change their lives then I looked at my
change their lives then I looked at my
change their lives then I looked at my own journey the ups and the downs of my
own journey the ups and the downs of my
own journey the ups and the downs of my career the constant will to make it and
career the constant will to make it and
career the constant will to make it and the hunger for more and I had to come to
the hunger for more and I had to come to
the hunger for more and I had to come to terms with the fact that the actual
terms with the fact that the actual
terms with the fact that the actual reason for success was something I
reason for success was something I
reason for success was something I wouldn’t have really welcomed into my
wouldn’t have really welcomed into my
wouldn’t have really welcomed into my life success came from the experience of
life success came from the experience of
life success came from the experience of pain maybe it was a childish need for
pain maybe it was a childish need for
pain maybe it was a childish need for more recognition and love from my
more recognition and love from my
more recognition and love from my parents or a way to make them happier
parents or a way to make them happier
parents or a way to make them happier when times got tough or maybe it was
when times got tough or maybe it was
when times got tough or maybe it was simply a survival instinct kicking in
simply a survival instinct kicking in
simply a survival instinct kicking in when money got tight the actual reason
when money got tight the actual reason
when money got tight the actual reason is not that important what matters is
is not that important what matters is
is not that important what matters is that it propelled my growth and it made
that it propelled my growth and it made
that it propelled my growth and it made me think quicker plan more efficiently
me think quicker plan more efficiently
me think quicker plan more efficiently and be faster before starting to work as
and be faster before starting to work as
and be faster before starting to work as a personality at age 18 I used to work
a personality at age 18 I used to work
a personality at age 18 I used to work at events as a hostess and my boss would
at events as a hostess and my boss would
at events as a hostess and my boss would always give me the worst shifts and the
always give me the worst shifts and the
always give me the worst shifts and the worst jobs for example I had to
worst jobs for example I had to
worst jobs for example I had to distribute flyers at a casino until 3
distribute flyers at a casino until 3
distribute flyers at a casino until 3 a.m. in the morning dressed in a fluffy
a.m. in the morning dressed in a fluffy
a.m. in the morning dressed in a fluffy pig suit I was obviously not happy with
pig suit I was obviously not happy with
pig suit I was obviously not happy with the experience so I thought how can I
the experience so I thought how can I
the experience so I thought how can I make my boss value me more and I went
make my boss value me more and I went
make my boss value me more and I went and did miss Switzerland I became a
and did miss Switzerland I became a
and did miss Switzerland I became a candidate and that night the night of
candidate and that night the night of
candidate and that night the night of the election has completely changed my
the election has completely changed my
the election has completely changed my life
life
life needless to say I have never worn that
needless to say I have never worn that
needless to say I have never worn that big suit again
big suit again
big suit again later on a career adviser
later on a career adviser
later on a career adviser my university told me what never ever
my university told me what never ever
my university told me what never ever even dream about getting a job in
even dream about getting a job in
even dream about getting a job in finance in London because what makes you
finance in London because what makes you
finance in London because what makes you think you are better
think you are better
think you are better the oldest international competition so
the oldest international competition so
the oldest international competition so I put my CV in order booked a flight and
I put my CV in order booked a flight and
I put my CV in order booked a flight and went to dozens of interviews until I
went to dozens of interviews until I
went to dozens of interviews until I landed three experiences in major
landed three experiences in major
landed three experiences in major financial institutions in the city I
financial institutions in the city I
financial institutions in the city I then left to start my own business and
then left to start my own business and
then left to start my own business and lastly it was a failed book deal in the
lastly it was a failed book deal in the
lastly it was a failed book deal in the u.s. that pushed me to become completely
u.s. that pushed me to become completely
u.s. that pushed me to become completely independent and to start my own journey
independent and to start my own journey
independent and to start my own journey as a digital entrepreneur and an
as a digital entrepreneur and an
as a digital entrepreneur and an influencer successful people often times
influencer successful people often times
influencer successful people often times literally work their pain away
literally work their pain away
literally work their pain away subconsciously and whereas most
subconsciously and whereas most
subconsciously and whereas most spiritual girls would state that the
spiritual girls would state that the
spiritual girls would state that the only way to get rid of pain is to
only way to get rid of pain is to
only way to get rid of pain is to completely feel it and stay in it for as
completely feel it and stay in it for as
completely feel it and stay in it for as long as necessary I think it’s a great
long as necessary I think it’s a great
long as necessary I think it’s a great motor and way to propel success and
motor and way to propel success and
motor and way to propel success and growth once I told to one of my friends
growth once I told to one of my friends
growth once I told to one of my friends a good friend of mine who happens to be
a good friend of mine who happens to be
a good friend of mine who happens to be a neuroscientist my idea about the link
a neuroscientist my idea about the link
a neuroscientist my idea about the link between pain and success the first thing
between pain and success the first thing
between pain and success the first thing he did was to scream yes you’re
he did was to scream yes you’re
he did was to scream yes you’re absolutely right – my pleasure
absolutely right – my pleasure
absolutely right – my pleasure and then he pointed to some piece of
and then he pointed to some piece of
and then he pointed to some piece of research who he thought would be
research who he thought would be
research who he thought would be extremely relevant to the case we are
extremely relevant to the case we are
extremely relevant to the case we are talking about post-traumatic growth and
talking about post-traumatic growth and
talking about post-traumatic growth and yes for those of you who have never
yes for those of you who have never
yes for those of you who have never heard about it the word is growth and
heard about it the word is growth and
heard about it the word is growth and not disorder
not disorder
not disorder the scientists Richard Tedeschi with his
the scientists Richard Tedeschi with his
the scientists Richard Tedeschi with his team has determined that growth after a
team has determined that growth after a
team has determined that growth after a traumatic event or a life crisis is far
traumatic event or a life crisis is far
traumatic event or a life crisis is far more common than PTSD contrary to
more common than PTSD contrary to
more common than PTSD contrary to popular belief ancient writings and
popular belief ancient writings and
popular belief ancient writings and religions often state that people have
religions often state that people have
religions often state that people have to overcome hardships interim in order
to overcome hardships interim in order
to overcome hardships interim in order to grow
to grow
to grow and leading by example Jesus sacrificed
and leading by example Jesus sacrificed
and leading by example Jesus sacrificed himself Moses ascended the mountain and
himself Moses ascended the mountain and
himself Moses ascended the mountain and the Buddha left his palace leading
the Buddha left his palace leading
the Buddha left his palace leading researchers on post-traumatic growth
researchers on post-traumatic growth
researchers on post-traumatic growth have determined that people who go
have determined that people who go
have determined that people who go through a life crisis oftentimes start
through a life crisis oftentimes start
through a life crisis oftentimes start to think about what happened in order to
to think about what happened in order to
to think about what happened in order to make sense of these events and this
make sense of these events and this
make sense of these events and this positive rumination is what actually
positive rumination is what actually
positive rumination is what actually propels growth before understanding the
propels growth before understanding the
propels growth before understanding the power of pain I used to always try to be
power of pain I used to always try to be
power of pain I used to always try to be the big girl the strong woman I would
the big girl the strong woman I would
the big girl the strong woman I would smile in front of a problem try not to
smile in front of a problem try not to
smile in front of a problem try not to feel the pain and push it completely
feel the pain and push it completely
feel the pain and push it completely away when I was 12 years old my father
away when I was 12 years old my father
away when I was 12 years old my father started traveling a lot for work first
started traveling a lot for work first
started traveling a lot for work first for months at a time and then for years
for months at a time and then for years
for months at a time and then for years I was always a daddy’s girl I saw saw
I was always a daddy’s girl I saw saw
I was always a daddy’s girl I saw saw him as a hero and he was my role model
him as a hero and he was my role model
him as a hero and he was my role model so I would call him and he would not
so I would call him and he would not
so I would call him and he would not pick up the phone or his number would be
pick up the phone or his number would be
pick up the phone or his number would be completely deactivated and whereas now I
completely deactivated and whereas now I
completely deactivated and whereas now I know that he had his own problems to
know that he had his own problems to
know that he had his own problems to solve at the time it was more than
solve at the time it was more than
solve at the time it was more than heartbreaking for me I felt abandoned I
heartbreaking for me I felt abandoned I
heartbreaking for me I felt abandoned I felt that my dad didn’t love me anymore
felt that my dad didn’t love me anymore
felt that my dad didn’t love me anymore it was such deep pain that I thought
it was such deep pain that I thought
it was such deep pain that I thought that he didn’t want me he wasn’t
that he didn’t want me he wasn’t
that he didn’t want me he wasn’t interested in speaking with me and I
interested in speaking with me and I
interested in speaking with me and I went completely numb for years I
went completely numb for years I
went completely numb for years I wouldn’t even feel anything yet now
wouldn’t even feel anything yet now
wouldn’t even feel anything yet now looking back I realized he had never
looking back I realized he had never
looking back I realized he had never stopped loving me he just had to solve
stopped loving me he just had to solve
stopped loving me he just had to solve his own issues but all of these steps
his own issues but all of these steps
his own issues but all of these steps I’ve taken from that moment onwards to
I’ve taken from that moment onwards to
I’ve taken from that moment onwards to grow to become a better person to build
grow to become a better person to build
grow to become a better person to build a career were rooted annan into an
a career were rooted annan into an
a career were rooted annan into an initial pain and I wanted to prove to my
initial pain and I wanted to prove to my
initial pain and I wanted to prove to my father that I was still worthy of his
father that I was still worthy of his
father that I was still worthy of his love so yes this unpleasant experience
love so yes this unpleasant experience
love so yes this unpleasant experience have made me grow and become a better
have made me grow and become a better
have made me grow and become a better version of myself now with more
version of myself now with more
version of myself now with more awareness and research I’ve learned to
awareness and research I’ve learned to
awareness and research I’ve learned to embrace pain
embrace pain
embrace pain to welcome it fool into my life and to
to welcome it fool into my life and to
to welcome it fool into my life and to use it to my advantage and I have carved
use it to my advantage and I have carved
use it to my advantage and I have carved the recipe for myself and you in three
the recipe for myself and you in three
the recipe for myself and you in three simple steps
simple steps
simple steps so step one is acceptance you need to
so step one is acceptance you need to
so step one is acceptance you need to fully accept this unpleasant feeling or
fully accept this unpleasant feeling or
fully accept this unpleasant feeling or strong pain feel it fully even if you
strong pain feel it fully even if you
strong pain feel it fully even if you need to cry cry feel terrible but just
need to cry cry feel terrible but just
need to cry cry feel terrible but just one thing don’t punish yourself give
one thing don’t punish yourself give
one thing don’t punish yourself give this pain time but give it also a time
this pain time but give it also a time
this pain time but give it also a time limit you need to hit an emotional tres
limit you need to hit an emotional tres
limit you need to hit an emotional tres role then I usually say to myself I’ll
role then I usually say to myself I’ll
role then I usually say to myself I’ll give it one day one hour a week if it’s
give it one day one hour a week if it’s
give it one day one hour a week if it’s really bad even months but once it’s
really bad even months but once it’s
really bad even months but once it’s over it’s time for phase two phase two
over it’s time for phase two phase two
over it’s time for phase two phase two is writing you two first to construct
is writing you two first to construct
is writing you two first to construct the problem think about it ruminate on
the problem think about it ruminate on
the problem think about it ruminate on it and then you take a piece of paper
it and then you take a piece of paper
it and then you take a piece of paper because writing by hand is much better
because writing by hand is much better
because writing by hand is much better for analytical thinking you divide this
for analytical thinking you divide this
for analytical thinking you divide this this piece of paper in three sections
this piece of paper in three sections
this piece of paper in three sections and on the left side you will write what
and on the left side you will write what
and on the left side you will write what is causing you pain in the middle you
is causing you pain in the middle you
is causing you pain in the middle you will write what you learned from this
will write what you learned from this
will write what you learned from this pain and on the right side you will
pain and on the right side you will
pain and on the right side you will write how can you use this pain to
write how can you use this pain to
write how can you use this pain to progress and move out of it and forward
progress and move out of it and forward
progress and move out of it and forward the right side is the most important one
the right side is the most important one
the right side is the most important one because it’s going to be your plan
because it’s going to be your plan
because it’s going to be your plan moving forward once your plan is ready
moving forward once your plan is ready
moving forward once your plan is ready it’s time for Phase three and it’s to
it’s time for Phase three and it’s to
it’s time for Phase three and it’s to take the leap you gotta take action
take the leap you gotta take action
take the leap you gotta take action follow that plan and no hesitation is
follow that plan and no hesitation is
follow that plan and no hesitation is allowed are you going through a divorce
allowed are you going through a divorce
allowed are you going through a divorce are you going through a problem babbling
are you going through a problem babbling
are you going through a problem babbling a health issue you’re struggling to pay
a health issue you’re struggling to pay
a health issue you’re struggling to pay your bills or you having problems for
your bills or you having problems for
your bills or you having problems for your family or confidence issues well I
your family or confidence issues well I
your family or confidence issues well I have some news this is amazing this is
have some news this is amazing this is
have some news this is amazing this is great use it to your own advantage to
great use it to your own advantage to
great use it to your own advantage to start something completely new in your
start something completely new in your
start something completely new in your life sometimes we found out
life sometimes we found out
life sometimes we found out of cornered and we cannot find a
of cornered and we cannot find a
of cornered and we cannot find a conventional way to get out and out of
conventional way to get out and out of
conventional way to get out and out of necessity and survival we would might
necessity and survival we would might
necessity and survival we would might make up a completely new innovative way
make up a completely new innovative way
make up a completely new innovative way to get out and this is how novelty and
to get out and this is how novelty and
to get out and this is how novelty and progress is born life should not be
progress is born life should not be
progress is born life should not be about passively supporting and feeling
about passively supporting and feeling
about passively supporting and feeling pain life should be about thriving use
pain life should be about thriving use
pain life should be about thriving use pain as a powerful fuel to go to the
pain as a powerful fuel to go to the
pain as a powerful fuel to go to the next level thank you
”
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