The Grey Area | Masa Melhem | TEDxYouth@AlMasyoon

hello first of all first thing you guys

hello first of all first thing you guys gotta realize I’m talking about the gray

gotta realize I’m talking about the gray

gotta realize I’m talking about the gray area and so many really Kumasi what is

area and so many really Kumasi what is

area and so many really Kumasi what is the gray here you mean tell me before

the gray here you mean tell me before

the gray here you mean tell me before you talk now I’m gonna say now okay we

you talk now I’m gonna say now okay we

you talk now I’m gonna say now okay we must understand the importance of the

must understand the importance of the

must understand the importance of the gray area

gray area

gray area I mean I’m either too mean and you know

I mean I’m either too mean and you know

I mean I’m either too mean and you know horrible or I’m too kind

horrible or I’m too kind

horrible or I’m too kind I’m either not comprehending a single

I’m either not comprehending a single

I’m either not comprehending a single word you say or I’m overanalyzing widget

word you say or I’m overanalyzing widget

word you say or I’m overanalyzing widget every single detail and by that I mean

every single detail and by that I mean

every single detail and by that I mean hi how are you what are you accusing me

hi how are you what are you accusing me

hi how are you what are you accusing me of I’m either not getting a single thing

of I’m either not getting a single thing

of I’m either not getting a single thing done or I’m an overachiever we’re all

done or I’m an overachiever we’re all

done or I’m an overachiever we’re all the parents just point at me and say I

the parents just point at me and say I

the parents just point at me and say I want you to be like her see what I said

want you to be like her see what I said

want you to be like her see what I said right here was black or white no gray

right here was black or white no gray

right here was black or white no gray black white no great you guys getting

black white no great you guys getting

black white no great you guys getting run getting here okay extreme extreme no

run getting here okay extreme extreme no

run getting here okay extreme extreme no in-between so I have a few things that

in-between so I have a few things that

in-between so I have a few things that will you know that has to be discussed

will you know that has to be discussed

will you know that has to be discussed when it comes to the gray area and of

when it comes to the gray area and of

when it comes to the gray area and of course as expected the first of them

course as expected the first of them

course as expected the first of them will have to be our political background

will have to be our political background

will have to be our political background we are victims

we are victims

we are victims we are occupied we are oppressed we are

we are occupied we are oppressed we are

we are occupied we are oppressed we are sad and we cry out for our losses we try

sad and we cry out for our losses we try

sad and we cry out for our losses we try to drag ourselves into the green what is

to drag ourselves into the green what is

to drag ourselves into the green what is the gray and what what society tells you

the gray and what what society tells you

the gray and what what society tells you it’s perfect as always top the best

it’s perfect as always top the best

it’s perfect as always top the best everything is going great that’s perfect

everything is going great that’s perfect

everything is going great that’s perfect but in reality perfect is actually a

but in reality perfect is actually a

but in reality perfect is actually a balance of the good and the bad the

balance of the good and the bad the

balance of the good and the bad the happy and sad so when we try to drag

happy and sad so when we try to drag

happy and sad so when we try to drag ourselves into the gray area we’re

ourselves into the gray area we’re

ourselves into the gray area we’re trying to drag ourselves into the

trying to drag ourselves into the

trying to drag ourselves into the balanced area because obviously there’s

balanced area because obviously there’s

balanced area because obviously there’s no balance at all right now so how can

no balance at all right now so how can

no balance at all right now so how can we drag ourselves into the gray area

we drag ourselves into the gray area

we drag ourselves into the gray area without being constantly pulled back

without being constantly pulled back

without being constantly pulled back into the black or white which is what an

into the black or white which is what an

into the black or white which is what an occupation really is we can implement

occupation really is we can implement

occupation really is we can implement the grey within ourselves and then

the grey within ourselves and then

the grey within ourselves and then implement it on that small portion or a

implement it on that small portion or a

implement it on that small portion or a big portion of

big portion of

big portion of xiety that we affect and in that since

xiety that we affect and in that since

xiety that we affect and in that since individual with individual individual

individual with individual individual

individual with individual individual individual makes a group we can together

individual makes a group we can together

individual makes a group we can together walk through a stronger better and

walk through a stronger better and

walk through a stronger better and greater future the second thing I want

greater future the second thing I want

greater future the second thing I want to discuss was flaws no no I’m not

to discuss was flaws no no I’m not

to discuss was flaws no no I’m not talking about what society call us flaws

talking about what society call us flaws

talking about what society call us flaws I’m not talking about the big nose or

I’m not talking about the big nose or

I’m not talking about the big nose or anything else I’m talking about what you

anything else I’m talking about what you

anything else I’m talking about what you think is a flaw and what do you think is

think is a flaw and what do you think is

think is a flaw and what do you think is a flaw it’s something that affects you

a flaw it’s something that affects you

a flaw it’s something that affects you in a bad way and if like everyone around

in a bad way and if like everyone around

in a bad way and if like everyone around you as well so flaws in the black or

you as well so flaws in the black or

you as well so flaws in the black or white you choose keyword choose to avoid

white you choose keyword choose to avoid

white you choose keyword choose to avoid recognizing you choose to avoid

recognizing you choose to avoid

recognizing you choose to avoid accepting you choose to avoid solving

accepting you choose to avoid solving

accepting you choose to avoid solving and curing those flaws why because you

and curing those flaws why because you

and curing those flaws why because you are afraid afraid of what you are afraid

are afraid afraid of what you are afraid

are afraid afraid of what you are afraid of being thrown out of the black or

of being thrown out of the black or

of being thrown out of the black or white because Society makes you believe

white because Society makes you believe

white because Society makes you believe that if you are not weak than you’re

that if you are not weak than you’re

that if you are not weak than you’re strong if you are not strong than you’re

strong if you are not strong than you’re

strong if you are not strong than you’re weak you are afraid of being called sick

weak you are afraid of being called sick

weak you are afraid of being called sick rather than healthy so many of us and I

rather than healthy so many of us and I

rather than healthy so many of us and I don’t mean us as Palestinians anymore I

don’t mean us as Palestinians anymore I

don’t mean us as Palestinians anymore I mean us as humans so many of us have

mean us as humans so many of us have

mean us as humans so many of us have certain disorders PTSD ADHD personality

certain disorders PTSD ADHD personality

certain disorders PTSD ADHD personality disorder eating disordered yeah we

disorder eating disordered yeah we

disorder eating disordered yeah we choose to avoid recognizing them we

choose to avoid recognizing them we

choose to avoid recognizing them we choose to avoid solving them because we

choose to avoid solving them because we

choose to avoid solving them because we are afraid of being called sick I’m here

are afraid of being called sick I’m here

are afraid of being called sick I’m here to tell you that within the gray area

to tell you that within the gray area

to tell you that within the gray area you recognize it you accept it and you

you recognize it you accept it and you

you recognize it you accept it and you fix it another place in the gray area

fix it another place in the gray area

fix it another place in the gray area that has to be discussed is traditions

that has to be discussed is traditions

that has to be discussed is traditions and cultures on your way here believe it

and cultures on your way here believe it

and cultures on your way here believe it or not you went through a gray area how

or not you went through a gray area how

or not you went through a gray area how I’ll get to it listen when I was in

I’ll get to it listen when I was in

I’ll get to it listen when I was in third grade we would go in Ohio and I

third grade we would go in Ohio and I

third grade we would go in Ohio and I get in the car and we’re passing by

get in the car and we’re passing by

get in the car and we’re passing by these houses and of course they’re gonna

these houses and of course they’re gonna

these houses and of course they’re gonna start processing what I’m saying and I

start processing what I’m saying and I

start processing what I’m saying and I see these houses and they’re all like

see these houses and they’re all like

see these houses and they’re all like organized in parallel I’m like whoa okay

organized in parallel I’m like whoa okay

organized in parallel I’m like whoa okay this is this is amazing okay and even

this is this is amazing okay and even

this is this is amazing okay and even those old houses

those old houses

those old houses the old houses were still kind of the

the old houses were still kind of the

the old houses were still kind of the same house everything else it was it was

same house everything else it was it was

same house everything else it was it was unbelievable and I never really

unbelievable and I never really

unbelievable and I never really understood here in Palestine why these

understood here in Palestine why these

understood here in Palestine why these artsy fartsy people out here taking

artsy fartsy people out here taking

artsy fartsy people out here taking pictures of all the houses they say I’m

pictures of all the houses they say I’m

pictures of all the houses they say I’m you have everything 50 times better in

you have everything 50 times better in

you have everything 50 times better in the u.s. why would you take pictures of

the u.s. why would you take pictures of

the u.s. why would you take pictures of everything here why do you come here to

everything here why do you come here to

everything here why do you come here to begin with and then I came back and I

begin with and then I came back and I

begin with and then I came back and I recognized it the way those traditional

recognized it the way those traditional

recognized it the way those traditional houses stand amongst the tall modern

houses stand amongst the tall modern

houses stand amongst the tall modern glass buildings the way the way the old

glass buildings the way the way the old

glass buildings the way the way the old thing stands among the modern and the

thing stands among the modern and the

thing stands among the modern and the small stands amongst it all the

small stands amongst it all the

small stands amongst it all the confusion the mess the mess is what

confusion the mess the mess is what

confusion the mess the mess is what makes this place beautiful the gray area

makes this place beautiful the gray area

makes this place beautiful the gray area it’s what makes this place beautiful and

it’s what makes this place beautiful and

it’s what makes this place beautiful and now they take my next point and it’s

now they take my next point and it’s

now they take my next point and it’s your relationship with your tradition

your relationship with your tradition

your relationship with your tradition and your culture now we know that you’re

and your culture now we know that you’re

and your culture now we know that you’re either too attached to your culture too

either too attached to your culture too

either too attached to your culture too much too much complete Arab and you hang

much too much complete Arab and you hang

much too much complete Arab and you hang on to those illogical things like if you

on to those illogical things like if you

on to those illogical things like if you break your leg you go eat for nothing or

break your leg you go eat for nothing or

break your leg you go eat for nothing or you are too free and you’re a Western

you are too free and you’re a Western

you are too free and you’re a Western wannabe you just don’t have an

wannabe you just don’t have an

wannabe you just don’t have an in-between but I’m here to tell you that

in-between but I’m here to tell you that

in-between but I’m here to tell you that you’re not supposed to be this or that

you’re not supposed to be this or that

you’re not supposed to be this or that imagine yourself as a flower flowers

imagine yourself as a flower flowers

imagine yourself as a flower flowers imagine yourself as a flower that has

imagine yourself as a flower that has

imagine yourself as a flower that has roots holding it down and those roots

roots holding it down and those roots

roots holding it down and those roots are the cultures and traditions they’re

are the cultures and traditions they’re

are the cultures and traditions they’re holding you down and the flower thrives

holding you down and the flower thrives

holding you down and the flower thrives and blooms that’s it progressing

and blooms that’s it progressing

and blooms that’s it progressing that’s it moving on and not hanging on

that’s it moving on and not hanging on

that’s it moving on and not hanging on to the illogical stuff you want to be

to the illogical stuff you want to be

to the illogical stuff you want to be that flower you want to be in between

that flower you want to be in between

that flower you want to be in between you want to be great you don’t want to

you want to be great you don’t want to

you want to be great you don’t want to be black you don’t wanna be what you

be black you don’t wanna be what you

be black you don’t wanna be what you want to be great that’s your

want to be great that’s your

want to be great that’s your relationship with your culture and

relationship with your culture and

relationship with your culture and that’s how it should be that’s how

that’s how it should be that’s how

that’s how it should be that’s how that’s how we should move on another

that’s how we should move on another

that’s how we should move on another thing I want to talk about mom this

thing I want to talk about mom this

thing I want to talk about mom this one’s for you hmm

one’s for you hmm

one’s for you hmm once every time I say I want something

once every time I say I want something

once every time I say I want something my mom goes meza don’t want something

my mom goes meza don’t want something

my mom goes meza don’t want something too much heavy tea so once don’t want

too much heavy tea so once don’t want

too much heavy tea so once don’t want something too much hey baby

something too much hey baby

something too much hey baby we do want something too much let’s say

we do want something too much let’s say

we do want something too much let’s say I want to get at 20 out of 20 and God

I want to get at 20 out of 20 and God

I want to get at 20 out of 20 and God forbid I get a 15 out of 20 or a 5 out

forbid I get a 15 out of 20 or a 5 out

forbid I get a 15 out of 20 or a 5 out of 20 chemistry if I get that five

of 20 chemistry if I get that five

of 20 chemistry if I get that five hundred twenty and I wanted that twenty

hundred twenty and I wanted that twenty

hundred twenty and I wanted that twenty eight twenty so bad I will fall into a

eight twenty so bad I will fall into a

eight twenty so bad I will fall into a hole of hopelessness despair depression

hole of hopelessness despair depression

hole of hopelessness despair depression probably you know start eating ice cream

probably you know start eating ice cream

probably you know start eating ice cream for lunch dinner everything that’s

for lunch dinner everything that’s

for lunch dinner everything that’s because I didn’t get what I wanted

because I didn’t get what I wanted

because I didn’t get what I wanted that’s because I made everything I made

that’s because I made everything I made

that’s because I made everything I made a want a need this is the extreme but

a want a need this is the extreme but

a want a need this is the extreme but then at the same time over here if I

then at the same time over here if I

then at the same time over here if I don’t want anything at all what’s life

don’t want anything at all what’s life

don’t want anything at all what’s life without a purpose you want something you

without a purpose you want something you

without a purpose you want something you have to have something you have to have

have to have something you have to have

have to have something you have to have a purpose you got to aim for something

a purpose you got to aim for something

a purpose you got to aim for something you have to set a goal so you got to be

you have to set a goal so you got to be

you have to set a goal so you got to be in between you got to want something but

in between you got to want something but

in between you got to want something but then also don’t make it a need want

then also don’t make it a need want

then also don’t make it a need want something in the gray area another thing

something in the gray area another thing

something in the gray area another thing loved ones see before I made my speech

loved ones see before I made my speech

loved ones see before I made my speech here I was practicing in the bathroom

here I was practicing in the bathroom

here I was practicing in the bathroom and I was saying keep your loved ones in

and I was saying keep your loved ones in

and I was saying keep your loved ones in the gray area and the girl I was saying

the gray area and the girl I was saying

the gray area and the girl I was saying it to she goes my mom in the green yeah

it to she goes my mom in the green yeah

it to she goes my mom in the green yeah of course not I have to be too attached

of course not I have to be too attached

of course not I have to be too attached I have to love her too much I’m here to

I have to love her too much I’m here to

I have to love her too much I’m here to tell you no I’m sorry again mom no you

tell you no I’m sorry again mom no you

tell you no I’m sorry again mom no you can’t be too attached her why I mean

can’t be too attached her why I mean

can’t be too attached her why I mean keep in mind grey comes in shades some

keep in mind grey comes in shades some

keep in mind grey comes in shades some shades leading more to the black side

shades leading more to the black side

shades leading more to the black side some shades leaning more to the white

some shades leaning more to the white

some shades leaning more to the white side you have to keep everyone in your

side you have to keep everyone in your

side you have to keep everyone in your life in that gray area because if you’re

life in that gray area because if you’re

life in that gray area because if you’re too attached to someone and then god

too attached to someone and then god

too attached to someone and then god forbid they died or you break up with

forbid they died or you break up with

forbid they died or you break up with them or you just lose them you lost part

them or you just lose them you lost part

them or you just lose them you lost part of yourself as well

of yourself as well

of yourself as well and we all know this every breakup story

and we all know this every breakup story

and we all know this every breakup story everyone who loves someone so much and

everyone who loves someone so much and

everyone who loves someone so much and so attached to them and they those

so attached to them and they those

so attached to them and they those people walk out of their lives

people walk out of their lives

people walk out of their lives depression clubs but on the other hand

depression clubs but on the other hand

depression clubs but on the other hand you don’t want to be shallow fake Drake

you don’t want to be shallow fake Drake

you don’t want to be shallow fake Drake where you at you don’t want to be too

where you at you don’t want to be too

where you at you don’t want to be too fake

fake

fake and without love what is life life has

and without love what is life life has

and without love what is life life has no meaning it’s worthless now so what do

no meaning it’s worthless now so what do

no meaning it’s worthless now so what do you do

you do

you do you keep them in the gray area you love

you keep them in the gray area you love

you keep them in the gray area you love them you feel you you keep them there

them you feel you you keep them there

them you feel you you keep them there for you but then you’re not too attached

for you but then you’re not too attached

for you but then you’re not too attached you’re not too attached and that leads

you’re not too attached and that leads

you’re not too attached and that leads me to my last point the gray area keeps

me to my last point the gray area keeps

me to my last point the gray area keeps you grateful you know when life’s going

you grateful you know when life’s going

you grateful you know when life’s going great

great

great well like – great like any second

well like – great like any second

well like – great like any second there’s a train wreck and you know it’s

there’s a train wreck and you know it’s

there’s a train wreck and you know it’s coming last week was an amazing week for

coming last week was an amazing week for

coming last week was an amazing week for me I was on top of the world every night

me I was on top of the world every night

me I was on top of the world every night award I was coming home you know all my

award I was coming home you know all my

award I was coming home you know all my friends with me it was great man it was

friends with me it was great man it was

friends with me it was great man it was amazing I used to get full marks last

amazing I used to get full marks last

amazing I used to get full marks last week used to and and then my small

week used to and and then my small

week used to and and then my small sister my hyperactive small sister it

sister my hyperactive small sister it

sister my hyperactive small sister it comes in how does me and that’s really

comes in how does me and that’s really

comes in how does me and that’s really rare but I didn’t care

rare but I didn’t care

rare but I didn’t care I’m like okay honey I gotta go get good

I’m like okay honey I gotta go get good

I’m like okay honey I gotta go get good gotta go okay I have to leave but see

gotta go okay I have to leave but see

gotta go okay I have to leave but see that’s a thing when you’re too happy and

that’s a thing when you’re too happy and

that’s a thing when you’re too happy and you’re black or white when you’re when

you’re black or white when you’re when

you’re black or white when you’re when you’re just living way up you forget to

you’re just living way up you forget to

you’re just living way up you forget to appreciate the little things in life and

appreciate the little things in life and

appreciate the little things in life and I mean this with all my heart my little

I mean this with all my heart my little

I mean this with all my heart my little sister when she used to hug me before

sister when she used to hug me before

sister when she used to hug me before that week I used to oh my god it was the

that week I used to oh my god it was the

that week I used to oh my god it was the happiest person on earth

happiest person on earth

happiest person on earth it was unbelievable and so being in the

it was unbelievable and so being in the

it was unbelievable and so being in the gray air you having that perfect balance

gray air you having that perfect balance

gray air you having that perfect balance between sadness and happiness noticing

between sadness and happiness noticing

between sadness and happiness noticing the sadness because of happiness and

the sadness because of happiness and

the sadness because of happiness and noticing the happiness because of

noticing the happiness because of

noticing the happiness because of sadness being in this in between keeps

sadness being in this in between keeps

sadness being in this in between keeps you grateful and so before I advise you

you grateful and so before I advise you

you grateful and so before I advise you to do it I might as well do it myself

to do it I might as well do it myself

to do it I might as well do it myself every time I want to decide extreme

every time I want to decide extreme

every time I want to decide extreme extreme when we go in-between I’m gonna

extreme when we go in-between I’m gonna

extreme when we go in-between I’m gonna walk down that grey path because even

walk down that grey path because even

walk down that grey path because even though it seems like a pretty grey path

though it seems like a pretty grey path

though it seems like a pretty grey path it’s actually a path of gold thank you

it’s actually a path of gold thank you

it’s actually a path of gold thank you [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]