
you [Music]
a person’s 40th birthday is quite a
a person’s 40th birthday is quite a milestone this is the birthday that is
milestone this is the birthday that is
milestone this is the birthday that is seen as the marker of a person’s
seen as the marker of a person’s
seen as the marker of a person’s achievements a time of reflection most
achievements a time of reflection most
achievements a time of reflection most have a job where they’ve been employed
have a job where they’ve been employed
have a job where they’ve been employed for a number of years many are married
for a number of years many are married
for a number of years many are married and perhaps have a family at this point
and perhaps have a family at this point
and perhaps have a family at this point their lives they have pretty much
their lives they have pretty much
their lives they have pretty much everything figured out at least those
everything figured out at least those
everything figured out at least those are the expectations that I had when I
are the expectations that I had when I
are the expectations that I had when I was growing up but life happens on its
was growing up but life happens on its
was growing up but life happens on its own terms and timelines and there’s
own terms and timelines and there’s
own terms and timelines and there’s never really a perfect time for anything
never really a perfect time for anything
never really a perfect time for anything in this life there are basically three
in this life there are basically three
in this life there are basically three things that can happen what we hope will
things that can happen what we hope will
things that can happen what we hope will happen what we fear will happen and then
happen what we fear will happen and then
happen what we fear will happen and then what actually happens my 40th birthday
what actually happens my 40th birthday
what actually happens my 40th birthday was a huge milestone for me as well but
was a huge milestone for me as well but
was a huge milestone for me as well but not for the reasons that I mentioned
not for the reasons that I mentioned
not for the reasons that I mentioned previously I turned 40 years old broke
previously I turned 40 years old broke
previously I turned 40 years old broke divorced bedridden and paralyzed
divorced bedridden and paralyzed
divorced bedridden and paralyzed wondering if I was ever going to be able
wondering if I was ever going to be able
wondering if I was ever going to be able to walk or use my hands again in 2012
to walk or use my hands again in 2012
to walk or use my hands again in 2012 while preparing to deploy with the US
while preparing to deploy with the US
while preparing to deploy with the US Army I suffered a severe spinal injury
Army I suffered a severe spinal injury
Army I suffered a severe spinal injury that left me paralyzed my world had been
that left me paralyzed my world had been
that left me paralyzed my world had been turned upside down in an instant I went
turned upside down in an instant I went
turned upside down in an instant I went from preparing for war on the
from preparing for war on the
from preparing for war on the battlefield to a war within my own body
battlefield to a war within my own body
battlefield to a war within my own body and mine now before my injury I had read
and mine now before my injury I had read
and mine now before my injury I had read stories and seen movies about people who
stories and seen movies about people who
stories and seen movies about people who have been seriously injured before and
have been seriously injured before and
have been seriously injured before and while these stories were compelling I
while these stories were compelling I
while these stories were compelling I still live my life like so many others
still live my life like so many others
still live my life like so many others with that oh well that whatever happened
with that oh well that whatever happened
with that oh well that whatever happened to me kind of attitude the harsh reality
to me kind of attitude the harsh reality
to me kind of attitude the harsh reality that slapped me in the face was I felt
that slapped me in the face was I felt
that slapped me in the face was I felt like I had wasted my life up to that
like I had wasted my life up to that
like I had wasted my life up to that point at least that’s how it felt when
point at least that’s how it felt when
point at least that’s how it felt when faced the potential of being bedridden
faced the potential of being bedridden
faced the potential of being bedridden for the rest of my days there was so
for the rest of my days there was so
for the rest of my days there was so much more that I wanted to accomplish I
much more that I wanted to accomplish I
much more that I wanted to accomplish I had wasted so much time talent and
had wasted so much time talent and
had wasted so much time talent and potential thinking that I would always
potential thinking that I would always
potential thinking that I would always have the time talent and potential to do
have the time talent and potential to do
have the time talent and potential to do whatever it was that I wanted to do the
whatever it was that I wanted to do the
whatever it was that I wanted to do the more I thought about it the madder I
more I thought about it the madder I
more I thought about it the madder I become I was beyond angry I was furious
become I was beyond angry I was furious
become I was beyond angry I was furious with myself for being so lazy and
with myself for being so lazy and
with myself for being so lazy and short-sighted I thought about all the
short-sighted I thought about all the
short-sighted I thought about all the other times in my life when I’d asked
other times in my life when I’d asked
other times in my life when I’d asked lesser of myself because I
lesser of myself because I
lesser of myself because I ah there’s always tomorrow I’ll just do
ah there’s always tomorrow I’ll just do
ah there’s always tomorrow I’ll just do it then and for what so I could been
it then and for what so I could been
it then and for what so I could been John Netflix so I could catch a nap the
John Netflix so I could catch a nap the
John Netflix so I could catch a nap the realisation of my injury was sobering
realisation of my injury was sobering
realisation of my injury was sobering and I felt like a statistic soon my
and I felt like a statistic soon my
and I felt like a statistic soon my anger was directed inwards and I went
anger was directed inwards and I went
anger was directed inwards and I went into a deep depression
into a deep depression
into a deep depression these were my darkest days and if I’m
these were my darkest days and if I’m
these were my darkest days and if I’m honest I can tell you that I seriously
honest I can tell you that I seriously
honest I can tell you that I seriously consider taking my own life but I
consider taking my own life but I
consider taking my own life but I couldn’t even commit suicide in my
couldn’t even commit suicide in my
couldn’t even commit suicide in my current state my injury gave me a
current state my injury gave me a
current state my injury gave me a tremendous amount of perspective when
tremendous amount of perspective when
tremendous amount of perspective when you’re bedridden and you can’t move you
you’re bedridden and you can’t move you
you’re bedridden and you can’t move you have a lot of time to think about your
have a lot of time to think about your
have a lot of time to think about your life for just a moment put yourself in
life for just a moment put yourself in
life for just a moment put yourself in that place outside of the obvious hopes
that place outside of the obvious hopes
that place outside of the obvious hopes of being able to recover and walk again
of being able to recover and walk again
of being able to recover and walk again if you woke up tomorrow paralyzed from
if you woke up tomorrow paralyzed from
if you woke up tomorrow paralyzed from the neck down what would you wish you
the neck down what would you wish you
the neck down what would you wish you would have accomplished with your life
would have accomplished with your life
would have accomplished with your life what regrets would you Harbor and if by
what regrets would you Harbor and if by
what regrets would you Harbor and if by some miracle you were able to walk again
some miracle you were able to walk again
some miracle you were able to walk again how would you begin to live your life
how would you begin to live your life
how would you begin to live your life differently I was told that I would
differently I was told that I would
differently I was told that I would never walk again and that is truly a
never walk again and that is truly a
never walk again and that is truly a brutal reality to have to face I was
brutal reality to have to face I was
brutal reality to have to face I was left with two options I could either
left with two options I could either
left with two options I could either stay angry and play the victim for the
stay angry and play the victim for the
stay angry and play the victim for the rest of my life or I could change my
rest of my life or I could change my
rest of my life or I could change my perspective about my injury but that was
perspective about my injury but that was
perspective about my injury but that was much easier said than done after some
much easier said than done after some
much easier said than done after some soul-searching I was still able to find
soul-searching I was still able to find
soul-searching I was still able to find some things to be grateful for though
some things to be grateful for though
some things to be grateful for though for example if I had suffered this
for example if I had suffered this
for example if I had suffered this injury while I was overseas deployed
injury while I was overseas deployed
injury while I was overseas deployed with the infantry there’s a very good
with the infantry there’s a very good
with the infantry there’s a very good chance that not only I would have been
chance that not only I would have been
chance that not only I would have been killed but I may have got another man
killed but I may have got another man
killed but I may have got another man killed as well so honestly I was just
killed as well so honestly I was just
killed as well so honestly I was just lucky to be alive and for that I was
lucky to be alive and for that I was
lucky to be alive and for that I was truly thankful
truly thankful
truly thankful but the thing that I was the most
but the thing that I was the most
but the thing that I was the most grateful for will probably surprise you
grateful for will probably surprise you
grateful for will probably surprise you what I was most grateful for was the
what I was most grateful for was the
what I was most grateful for was the incredible gift
incredible gift
incredible gift that my injury gave me the gift of
that my injury gave me the gift of
that my injury gave me the gift of adversity when I started seeing my
adversity when I started seeing my
adversity when I started seeing my adversity as a gift instead of a curse
adversity as a gift instead of a curse
adversity as a gift instead of a curse something miraculous began to happen
something miraculous began to happen
something miraculous began to happen adversity is a natural law and like the
adversity is a natural law and like the
adversity is a natural law and like the law of gravity
law of gravity
law of gravity it doesn’t really care about your
it doesn’t really care about your
it doesn’t really care about your opinion when you try to lift something
opinion when you try to lift something
opinion when you try to lift something heavy if you’re not able to lift the
heavy if you’re not able to lift the
heavy if you’re not able to lift the weight hey that’s not adversities
weight hey that’s not adversities
weight hey that’s not adversities problem adversity is the drill sergeant
problem adversity is the drill sergeant
problem adversity is the drill sergeant yelling in your face the minute you step
yelling in your face the minute you step
yelling in your face the minute you step off the bus at basic training adversity
off the bus at basic training adversity
off the bus at basic training adversity is the martial arts instructor who
is the martial arts instructor who
is the martial arts instructor who humbles you whenever you act without
humbles you whenever you act without
humbles you whenever you act without honor respect and discipline adversity
honor respect and discipline adversity
honor respect and discipline adversity is also the parent who ground you when
is also the parent who ground you when
is also the parent who ground you when they catch you trying to sneak out the
they catch you trying to sneak out the
they catch you trying to sneak out the house at midnight or perhaps when they
house at midnight or perhaps when they
house at midnight or perhaps when they catch you when you sneak back in and
catch you when you sneak back in and
catch you when you sneak back in and like all of these examples at the time
like all of these examples at the time
like all of these examples at the time adversity seems incredibly harsh and
adversity seems incredibly harsh and
adversity seems incredibly harsh and almost ruthless adversity forces you to
almost ruthless adversity forces you to
almost ruthless adversity forces you to drop everything else you’re doing to
drop everything else you’re doing to
drop everything else you’re doing to give it your full undivided attention
give it your full undivided attention
give it your full undivided attention adversity shows up unannounced at the
adversity shows up unannounced at the
adversity shows up unannounced at the most inopportune times without apology
most inopportune times without apology
most inopportune times without apology adversity couldn’t care less about what
adversity couldn’t care less about what
adversity couldn’t care less about what you want it doesn’t give a damn about
you want it doesn’t give a damn about
you want it doesn’t give a damn about your feelings and adversity doesn’t take
your feelings and adversity doesn’t take
your feelings and adversity doesn’t take no for an answer frankly it feels like
no for an answer frankly it feels like
no for an answer frankly it feels like adversity hates you and it does it
adversity hates you and it does it
adversity hates you and it does it absolutely does hate you but it only
absolutely does hate you but it only
absolutely does hate you but it only hates a certain part of you what part of
hates a certain part of you what part of
hates a certain part of you what part of you does it hate the weak part the
you does it hate the weak part the
you does it hate the weak part the physical manifestation of adversity is
physical manifestation of adversity is
physical manifestation of adversity is an adversary an opponent and though it
an adversary an opponent and though it
an adversary an opponent and though it may sound counterintuitive an adversary
may sound counterintuitive an adversary
may sound counterintuitive an adversary is often our best teacher think about it
is often our best teacher think about it
is often our best teacher think about it an adversary is probably the most honest
an adversary is probably the most honest
an adversary is probably the most honest person you will ever encounter they wear
person you will ever encounter they wear
person you will ever encounter they wear their hate for you openly on their
their hate for you openly on their
their hate for you openly on their sleeve it is impossible to misconstrue
sleeve it is impossible to misconstrue
sleeve it is impossible to misconstrue their intense and even though they want
their intense and even though they want
their intense and even though they want to do you harm
to do you harm
to do you harm at least they’re honest about it
he forces you to up your game and play
he forces you to up your game and play at a higher level it never allows you to
at a higher level it never allows you to
at a higher level it never allows you to coast or do just enough to get by
coast or do just enough to get by
coast or do just enough to get by adversity knows your true potential
adversity knows your true potential
adversity knows your true potential even when you do not which is why it
even when you do not which is why it
even when you do not which is why it kicks you in the ass when you give a
kicks you in the ass when you give a
kicks you in the ass when you give a little bit less than 100% effort the
little bit less than 100% effort the
little bit less than 100% effort the reality is this adversity offers you no
reality is this adversity offers you no
reality is this adversity offers you no other choice and when there’s no other
other choice and when there’s no other
other choice and when there’s no other choice
choice
choice the choice is simple from my injury I
the choice is simple from my injury I
the choice is simple from my injury I learned that if I could overcome my
learned that if I could overcome my
learned that if I could overcome my current adversity even if only mentally
current adversity even if only mentally
current adversity even if only mentally that I would be better equipped to
that I would be better equipped to
that I would be better equipped to handle anything else that adversity had
handle anything else that adversity had
handle anything else that adversity had to throw at me
to throw at me
to throw at me later on down the line in the end we are
later on down the line in the end we are
later on down the line in the end we are only as strong as the adversity that we
only as strong as the adversity that we
only as strong as the adversity that we overcome the pain of the adversity will
overcome the pain of the adversity will
overcome the pain of the adversity will eventually subside but the lesson will
eventually subside but the lesson will
eventually subside but the lesson will always remain and that lesson will
always remain and that lesson will
always remain and that lesson will strengthen you to endure your next
strengthen you to endure your next
strengthen you to endure your next battle this time stronger and wiser than
battle this time stronger and wiser than
battle this time stronger and wiser than before during an interview in 1971
before during an interview in 1971
before during an interview in 1971 martial arts superstar and cultural icon
martial arts superstar and cultural icon
martial arts superstar and cultural icon Bruce Lee was asked a question he was
Bruce Lee was asked a question he was
Bruce Lee was asked a question he was asked do you consider yourself to be
asked do you consider yourself to be
asked do you consider yourself to be Chinese or North American Bruce Lee
Chinese or North American Bruce Lee
Chinese or North American Bruce Lee simply smiled and said you know how I
simply smiled and said you know how I
simply smiled and said you know how I want to think of myself as a human being
want to think of myself as a human being
want to think of myself as a human being because under the sky under the heavens
because under the sky under the heavens
because under the sky under the heavens there is but one family no matter what
there is but one family no matter what
there is but one family no matter what country you were a citizen of regardless
country you were a citizen of regardless
country you were a citizen of regardless of age race sex sexual preference or
of age race sex sexual preference or
of age race sex sexual preference or identification religious belief or
identification religious belief or
identification religious belief or political view every living person wants
political view every living person wants
political view every living person wants three things freedom respect and love we
three things freedom respect and love we
three things freedom respect and love we all want these three things because
all want these three things because
all want these three things because whenever we start looking at our
whenever we start looking at our
whenever we start looking at our collective similarities instead of our
collective similarities instead of our
collective similarities instead of our differences we see that we are indeed as
differences we see that we are indeed as
differences we see that we are indeed as Bruce Lee said all one family we all
Bruce Lee said all one family we all
Bruce Lee said all one family we all want freedom respect and love because we
want freedom respect and love because we
want freedom respect and love because we are all citizens of the same human race
if you
if you than the sound of my voice right now
than the sound of my voice right now
than the sound of my voice right now that means that chances are you have
that means that chances are you have
that means that chances are you have enough clean water to drink and enough
enough clean water to drink and enough
enough clean water to drink and enough food to eat it probably also means you
food to eat it probably also means you
food to eat it probably also means you have a roof over your head and a place
have a roof over your head and a place
have a roof over your head and a place to sleep at night these facts alone
to sleep at night these facts alone
to sleep at night these facts alone dictate that you are better off than
dictate that you are better off than
dictate that you are better off than three-quarters of the population on the
three-quarters of the population on the
three-quarters of the population on the planet half a million of which are
planet half a million of which are
planet half a million of which are homeless citizens of the United States
homeless citizens of the United States
homeless citizens of the United States 50,000 of those are homeless veterans
50,000 of those are homeless veterans
50,000 of those are homeless veterans but there are those who have gone
but there are those who have gone
but there are those who have gone through far greater adversity than what
through far greater adversity than what
through far greater adversity than what you and I will ever face citizens who
you and I will ever face citizens who
you and I will ever face citizens who have had their lives and countries torn
have had their lives and countries torn
have had their lives and countries torn apart by war citizens who have been
apart by war citizens who have been
apart by war citizens who have been kidnapped beaten mercilessly and sold
kidnapped beaten mercilessly and sold
kidnapped beaten mercilessly and sold into the modern-day slavery of human
into the modern-day slavery of human
into the modern-day slavery of human trafficking citizens who have had their
trafficking citizens who have had their
trafficking citizens who have had their entire families wiped out by genocide
think about that the next time you want
think about that the next time you want to complain that your lattes not hot
to complain that your lattes not hot
to complain that your lattes not hot enough
as you can see adversity truly is
as you can see adversity truly is relative there are literally hundreds of
relative there are literally hundreds of
relative there are literally hundreds of thousands of people who would give
thousands of people who would give
thousands of people who would give anything to have the things that you and
anything to have the things that you and
anything to have the things that you and I are taking for granted this very
I are taking for granted this very
I are taking for granted this very moment it makes you realize that most of
moment it makes you realize that most of
moment it makes you realize that most of the problems that we have aren’t even
the problems that we have aren’t even
the problems that we have aren’t even really problems they’re simply
really problems they’re simply
really problems they’re simply inconveniences most of the things that
inconveniences most of the things that
inconveniences most of the things that we call pain is merely discomfort it’s
we call pain is merely discomfort it’s
we call pain is merely discomfort it’s so easy for us to complain about
so easy for us to complain about
so easy for us to complain about anything and everything from the weather
anything and everything from the weather
anything and everything from the weather to our jobs to our relationships but the
to our jobs to our relationships but the
to our jobs to our relationships but the people who complain the most do so
people who complain the most do so
people who complain the most do so because they don’t actually appreciate
because they don’t actually appreciate
because they don’t actually appreciate the things that they have so the next
the things that they have so the next
the things that they have so the next time you catch yourself in this cycle of
time you catch yourself in this cycle of
time you catch yourself in this cycle of complaining about everything stop for a
complaining about everything stop for a
complaining about everything stop for a second and ask yourself an honest
second and ask yourself an honest
second and ask yourself an honest question is what you’re complaining
question is what you’re complaining
question is what you’re complaining about really that bad really is it the
about really that bad really is it the
about really that bad really is it the worst thing you’ve ever encountered in
worst thing you’ve ever encountered in
worst thing you’ve ever encountered in your entire life 99% of the time it’s
your entire life 99% of the time it’s
your entire life 99% of the time it’s not
not
not but during that other 1% time when what
but during that other 1% time when what
but during that other 1% time when what you’re facing is the most difficult
you’re facing is the most difficult
you’re facing is the most difficult thing you’ve ever encountered when
thing you’ve ever encountered when
thing you’ve ever encountered when you’re facing genuine adversity and you
you’re facing genuine adversity and you
you’re facing genuine adversity and you said yourself I don’t know if I can do
said yourself I don’t know if I can do
said yourself I don’t know if I can do this in that moment of question be
this in that moment of question be
this in that moment of question be grateful because it is the question
grateful because it is the question
grateful because it is the question itself that will force you to evolve
itself that will force you to evolve
itself that will force you to evolve into the person who can overcome this
into the person who can overcome this
into the person who can overcome this obstacle and it is your adversity that
obstacle and it is your adversity that
obstacle and it is your adversity that will act as the catalyst for this to
will act as the catalyst for this to
will act as the catalyst for this to occur
Robert Frost wrote famously the best way
Robert Frost wrote famously the best way out is always through and he’s
out is always through and he’s
out is always through and he’s absolutely correct how do we overcome
absolutely correct how do we overcome
absolutely correct how do we overcome adversity by facing it head-on from my
adversity by facing it head-on from my
adversity by facing it head-on from my injury I have learned that if you try to
injury I have learned that if you try to
injury I have learned that if you try to avoid adversity it can crush you by
avoid adversity it can crush you by
avoid adversity it can crush you by trying to go around adversity you may
trying to go around adversity you may
trying to go around adversity you may never be able to circumvent its grasp
never be able to circumvent its grasp
never be able to circumvent its grasp by trying to avoid the struggle not only
by trying to avoid the struggle not only
by trying to avoid the struggle not only when you had to face the same adversity
when you had to face the same adversity
when you had to face the same adversity that you would have initially but now
that you would have initially but now
that you would have initially but now you will be forced to do so already
you will be forced to do so already
you will be forced to do so already fatigued from trying to avoid it in the
fatigued from trying to avoid it in the
fatigued from trying to avoid it in the first place
trying to avoid adversity would be like
trying to avoid adversity would be like trying to avoid the tide while swimming
trying to avoid the tide while swimming
trying to avoid the tide while swimming in the ocean but like the ocean if you
in the ocean but like the ocean if you
in the ocean but like the ocean if you can learn to embrace the tide of
can learn to embrace the tide of
can learn to embrace the tide of adversity you will eventually learn to
adversity you will eventually learn to
adversity you will eventually learn to let it lift you up and you can ride the
let it lift you up and you can ride the
let it lift you up and you can ride the wave to shore unscathed and in that
wave to shore unscathed and in that
wave to shore unscathed and in that moment if you were able take a look
moment if you were able take a look
moment if you were able take a look around because the view that you have
around because the view that you have
around because the view that you have after you’ve overcome your adversity is
after you’ve overcome your adversity is
after you’ve overcome your adversity is absolutely breathtaking adversity is a
absolutely breathtaking adversity is a
absolutely breathtaking adversity is a gift
gift
gift embrace it thank you so much
embrace it thank you so much
embrace it thank you so much [Music]
”
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