[Applause] Ali Murray Katheryn McElwee hillman was
Ali Murray Katheryn McElwee hillman was
Ali Murray Katheryn McElwee hillman was many things honors scholar Resident
many things honors scholar Resident
many things honors scholar Resident Advisor best friend and as her autopsy
Advisor best friend and as her autopsy
Advisor best friend and as her autopsy recently revealed hardcore sriracha
recently revealed hardcore sriracha
recently revealed hardcore sriracha addict while there are no words that
addict while there are no words that
addict while there are no words that while there are no words for the grief
while there are no words for the grief
while there are no words for the grief that we feel at Ali’s unexpected
that we feel at Ali’s unexpected
that we feel at Ali’s unexpected departure from this world we must take
departure from this world we must take
departure from this world we must take solace in the fact that she lived a long
solace in the fact that she lived a long
solace in the fact that she lived a long and brilliantly colorful life and that
and brilliantly colorful life and that
and brilliantly colorful life and that she slept with a lot of vaguely ethnic
she slept with a lot of vaguely ethnic
she slept with a lot of vaguely ethnic guys shout out to my parents who will
guys shout out to my parents who will
guys shout out to my parents who will watch this online at some point sorry
watch this online at some point sorry
watch this online at some point sorry about it mom to begin with I would like
about it mom to begin with I would like
about it mom to begin with I would like to clarify that Ellie did not instigate
to clarify that Ellie did not instigate
to clarify that Ellie did not instigate the literal catfight that brought upon
the literal catfight that brought upon
the literal catfight that brought upon her demise and the decades that I have
her demise and the decades that I have
her demise and the decades that I have known her Ellie never once demonstrated
known her Ellie never once demonstrated
known her Ellie never once demonstrated anything but extreme affection towards
anything but extreme affection towards
anything but extreme affection towards cats I promise to use the full weight
cats I promise to use the full weight
cats I promise to use the full weight behind my nonprofit dog people bringing
behind my nonprofit dog people bringing
behind my nonprofit dog people bringing few lines to Justice to investigate my
few lines to Justice to investigate my
few lines to Justice to investigate my best friend’s tragic murder at the paws
best friend’s tragic murder at the paws
best friend’s tragic murder at the paws of her cats in times of grief it is
of her cats in times of grief it is
of her cats in times of grief it is tempting to say that there are no words
tempting to say that there are no words
tempting to say that there are no words for what we are feeling but in truth
for what we are feeling but in truth
for what we are feeling but in truth words are sometimes the only thing that
words are sometimes the only thing that
words are sometimes the only thing that we have left and as a middle class white
we have left and as a middle class white
we have left and as a middle class white person from Kentucky I clearly know a
person from Kentucky I clearly know a
person from Kentucky I clearly know a lot about loss and suffering when we
lot about loss and suffering when we
lot about loss and suffering when we tell people that we write eulogies they
tell people that we write eulogies they
tell people that we write eulogies they tend to think that we are weird or
tend to think that we are weird or
tend to think that we are weird or overly morbid or just joking and they
overly morbid or just joking and they
overly morbid or just joking and they are actually correct in all three of
are actually correct in all three of
are actually correct in all three of those assumptions Jackson was not only a
those assumptions Jackson was not only a
those assumptions Jackson was not only a terrific professor and administrator he
terrific professor and administrator he
terrific professor and administrator he was also a remarkable friend he was a
was also a remarkable friend he was a
was also a remarkable friend he was a beer snob an avid snapple iced tea
beer snob an avid snapple iced tea
beer snob an avid snapple iced tea consumer and he possessed an array of
consumer and he possessed an array of
consumer and he possessed an array of awkward dad noises that he was known to
awkward dad noises that he was known to
awkward dad noises that he was known to randomly unleash upon unsuspecting
randomly unleash upon unsuspecting
randomly unleash upon unsuspecting audiences his untimely demise brought
audiences his untimely demise brought
audiences his untimely demise brought about by a herd of frightened llamas
about by a herd of frightened llamas
about by a herd of frightened llamas will be deeply mourned Jackson leaves
will be deeply mourned Jackson leaves
will be deeply mourned Jackson leaves behind three children Joyce Swift and
behind three children Joyce Swift and
behind three children Joyce Swift and wild and an eclectic llama hurting wife
wild and an eclectic llama hurting wife
wild and an eclectic llama hurting wife who regrets not being able to be here
who regrets not being able to be here
who regrets not being able to be here today as she is currently being
today as she is currently being
today as she is currently being questioned by the authorities about her
questioned by the authorities about her
questioned by the authorities about her dealings with black market imported
dealings with black market imported
dealings with black market imported unicorn meat much like black market
unicorn meat much like black market
unicorn meat much like black market imported unicorn me
imported unicorn me
imported unicorn me not a lot of people know about the
not a lot of people know about the
not a lot of people know about the eulogy project but we think that it has
eulogy project but we think that it has
eulogy project but we think that it has a lot of potential to bring about magic
a lot of potential to bring about magic
a lot of potential to bring about magic in the fall of 2014 I was preparing to
in the fall of 2014 I was preparing to
in the fall of 2014 I was preparing to study abroad for a semester in Ireland I
study abroad for a semester in Ireland I
study abroad for a semester in Ireland I was about to spend five months drinking
was about to spend five months drinking
was about to spend five months drinking Guinness and avoiding school work but
Guinness and avoiding school work but
Guinness and avoiding school work but based on how sad I was you would have
based on how sad I was you would have
based on how sad I was you would have thought that I was being shipped off to
thought that I was being shipped off to
thought that I was being shipped off to a war criminal camp but in a stroke of
a war criminal camp but in a stroke of
a war criminal camp but in a stroke of brilliance and a bitter unwillingness to
brilliance and a bitter unwillingness to
brilliance and a bitter unwillingness to spend money on each other for Christmas
spend money on each other for Christmas
spend money on each other for Christmas gifts Ali and I decided to write
gifts Ali and I decided to write
gifts Ali and I decided to write eulogies as a way of processing my
eulogies as a way of processing my
eulogies as a way of processing my impending departure lest you think that
impending departure lest you think that
impending departure lest you think that this is an inappropriate and outlandish
this is an inappropriate and outlandish
this is an inappropriate and outlandish idea that mocks grief and devastation we
idea that mocks grief and devastation we
idea that mocks grief and devastation we hope you’ll give the eulogy project a
hope you’ll give the eulogy project a
hope you’ll give the eulogy project a chance to help frame the vital human
chance to help frame the vital human
chance to help frame the vital human process of recognition so think about
process of recognition so think about
process of recognition so think about some of the things you’ve done thus far
some of the things you’ve done thus far
some of the things you’ve done thus far in your life you have likely been asked
in your life you have likely been asked
in your life you have likely been asked in job interviews on second dates in
in job interviews on second dates in
in job interviews on second dates in college and graduate school applications
college and graduate school applications
college and graduate school applications to tell your story you put words to your
to tell your story you put words to your
to tell your story you put words to your life and you share it with others we
life and you share it with others we
life and you share it with others we emphasized so much that at the end of
emphasized so much that at the end of
emphasized so much that at the end of your life you want to be able to look
your life you want to be able to look
your life you want to be able to look back and see and tell a story that
back and see and tell a story that
back and see and tell a story that satisfies you you’ll want to have an
satisfies you you’ll want to have an
satisfies you you’ll want to have an Instagram account that reflects your
Instagram account that reflects your
Instagram account that reflects your particular mix of daring adventure and
particular mix of daring adventure and
particular mix of daring adventure and night spent in deep philosophical
night spent in deep philosophical
night spent in deep philosophical discussion with your cat from process
discussion with your cat from process
discussion with your cat from process and goodbyes as someone prepares to
and goodbyes as someone prepares to
and goodbyes as someone prepares to study abroad to grieving the loss of a
study abroad to grieving the loss of a
study abroad to grieving the loss of a loved one eulogies offer a time to pause
loved one eulogies offer a time to pause
loved one eulogies offer a time to pause and reflect on what was what might have
and reflect on what was what might have
and reflect on what was what might have been and what still could be because
been and what still could be because
been and what still could be because endings are cathartic even if nothing’s
endings are cathartic even if nothing’s
endings are cathartic even if nothing’s actually ending to quote the great
actually ending to quote the great
actually ending to quote the great philosopher and lead singer of
philosopher and lead singer of
philosopher and lead singer of nickelback chad kroeger if today was
nickelback chad kroeger if today was
nickelback chad kroeger if today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
your last day and tomorrow was too late
your last day and tomorrow was too late could you say goodbye to yesterday
could you say goodbye to yesterday
could you say goodbye to yesterday eulogies help process feelings that are
eulogies help process feelings that are
eulogies help process feelings that are almost as incomprehensible as that song
almost as incomprehensible as that song
almost as incomprehensible as that song lyric we work to maintain our stories we
lyric we work to maintain our stories we
lyric we work to maintain our stories we make plans bucket lists we set goals
make plans bucket lists we set goals
make plans bucket lists we set goals Pinterest accounts are dedicated to this
Pinterest accounts are dedicated to this
Pinterest accounts are dedicated to this stuff we write memoirs blogs love
stuff we write memoirs blogs love
stuff we write memoirs blogs love letters notes in the sky we make theater
letters notes in the sky we make theater
letters notes in the sky we make theater sculptures all forms of art we make
sculptures all forms of art we make
sculptures all forms of art we make lists that tell our stories just like
lists that tell our stories just like
lists that tell our stories just like this one we are comprised of stories and
this one we are comprised of stories and
this one we are comprised of stories and our communities are built upon them you
our communities are built upon them you
our communities are built upon them you get it the story should is important so
get it the story should is important so
get it the story should is important so are the people in our stories the ones
are the people in our stories the ones
are the people in our stories the ones who share in them the ones who made it
who share in them the ones who made it
who share in them the ones who made it possible for us to live
possible for us to live
possible for us to live them the random ones you never
them the random ones you never
them the random ones you never anticipated including in your life
anticipated including in your life
anticipated including in your life narrative the hiker you fell in love
narrative the hiker you fell in love
narrative the hiker you fell in love with your grandmother your best friend
with your grandmother your best friend
with your grandmother your best friend your gynecologist if stories are our
your gynecologist if stories are our
your gynecologist if stories are our lives people are the often confounding
lives people are the often confounding
lives people are the often confounding language behind them so what stories can
language behind them so what stories can
language behind them so what stories can they and will they tell about you
they and will they tell about you
they and will they tell about you perhaps more importantly what stories
perhaps more importantly what stories
perhaps more importantly what stories can you tell about them eulogies are the
can you tell about them eulogies are the
can you tell about them eulogies are the stories that we tell at the end of
stories that we tell at the end of
stories that we tell at the end of someone’s life but we were too impatient
someone’s life but we were too impatient
someone’s life but we were too impatient to wait another 60 or 70 years until we
to wait another 60 or 70 years until we
to wait another 60 or 70 years until we actually just died to honor each other
actually just died to honor each other
actually just died to honor each other in this way by writing eulogies we get
in this way by writing eulogies we get
in this way by writing eulogies we get to give each other the gift of our
to give each other the gift of our
to give each other the gift of our honest perceptions of them and so many
honest perceptions of them and so many
honest perceptions of them and so many of us know life doesn’t have to end in
of us know life doesn’t have to end in
of us know life doesn’t have to end in order for grief to visit us to become
order for grief to visit us to become
order for grief to visit us to become part of our stories so much of life is
part of our stories so much of life is
part of our stories so much of life is transition and transitions are hard
transition and transitions are hard
transition and transitions are hard leaving hurts being left hurts sometimes
leaving hurts being left hurts sometimes
leaving hurts being left hurts sometimes just being hurts it takes courage and it
just being hurts it takes courage and it
just being hurts it takes courage and it takes recognition so I want to see your
takes recognition so I want to see your
takes recognition so I want to see your truth and to hear your piercing screams
truth and to hear your piercing screams
truth and to hear your piercing screams and sometimes it’s more for us than the
and sometimes it’s more for us than the
and sometimes it’s more for us than the people that were writing about following
people that were writing about following
people that were writing about following the outcome of the 2016 election I was
the outcome of the 2016 election I was
the outcome of the 2016 election I was really upset and some of you might have
really upset and some of you might have
really upset and some of you might have been upset too so I decided to write a
been upset too so I decided to write a
been upset too so I decided to write a eulogy for Hillary Clinton which was
eulogy for Hillary Clinton which was
eulogy for Hillary Clinton which was exactly as depressing and lame as you
exactly as depressing and lame as you
exactly as depressing and lame as you might expect it to be but it helped us
might expect it to be but it helped us
might expect it to be but it helped us realize something maybe writing eulogies
realize something maybe writing eulogies
realize something maybe writing eulogies could work outside of a group outside of
could work outside of a group outside of
could work outside of a group outside of the group of our quirky friends and the
the group of our quirky friends and the
the group of our quirky friends and the handful of professors who have gotten on
handful of professors who have gotten on
handful of professors who have gotten on board with our unabashed should embrace
board with our unabashed should embrace
board with our unabashed should embrace of morbidity so we did what all
of morbidity so we did what all
of morbidity so we did what all self-involvement eels to and with the
self-involvement eels to and with the
self-involvement eels to and with the help of an incredible friend we created
help of an incredible friend we created
help of an incredible friend we created a website because why should we be the
a website because why should we be the
a website because why should we be the only ones who get to kill our friends
only ones who get to kill our friends
only ones who get to kill our friends and laugh about it after a series of
and laugh about it after a series of
and laugh about it after a series of trial runs in a couple different classes
trial runs in a couple different classes
trial runs in a couple different classes with very understanding professors we
with very understanding professors we
with very understanding professors we realized that the power of writing
realized that the power of writing
realized that the power of writing eulogies could help people aside from
eulogies could help people aside from
eulogies could help people aside from just our group of friends maybe even
just our group of friends maybe even
just our group of friends maybe even strangers maybe even you guys so
strangers maybe even you guys so
strangers maybe even you guys so audience of random humans we challenge
audience of random humans we challenge
audience of random humans we challenge you to ask some questions how do the
you to ask some questions how do the
you to ask some questions how do the people you love or despise want to be
people you love or despise want to be
people you love or despise want to be remembered what stories will you tell
remembered what stories will you tell
remembered what stories will you tell about them what stories can you tell
about them what stories can you tell
about them what stories can you tell about yourself Twitter feeds and
about yourself Twitter feeds and
about yourself Twitter feeds and Facebook updates aside faced with the
Facebook updates aside faced with the
Facebook updates aside faced with the world moving on without
world moving on without
world moving on without you so what do you want to do with your
you so what do you want to do with your
you so what do you want to do with your life how do you want to be remembered a
life how do you want to be remembered a
life how do you want to be remembered a slight twist of our style of eulogy
slight twist of our style of eulogy
slight twist of our style of eulogy writing is that we write with the
writing is that we write with the
writing is that we write with the assumption that the people were writing
assumption that the people were writing
assumption that the people were writing about will go on to live long weird
about will go on to live long weird
about will go on to live long weird adventurous kind of successful lives Ali
adventurous kind of successful lives Ali
adventurous kind of successful lives Ali Hillman left this epic planet the way
Hillman left this epic planet the way
Hillman left this epic planet the way she signed all her emails in thanks and
she signed all her emails in thanks and
she signed all her emails in thanks and peace Ali had a weird brain and she put
peace Ali had a weird brain and she put
peace Ali had a weird brain and she put it to you celebrating the weird brains
it to you celebrating the weird brains
it to you celebrating the weird brains of others she identified with the title
of others she identified with the title
of others she identified with the title being of the ocean and spent many
being of the ocean and spent many
being of the ocean and spent many cumulative hours walking on beaches in
cumulative hours walking on beaches in
cumulative hours walking on beaches in inclement weather with others while she
inclement weather with others while she
inclement weather with others while she frequently doubted the means by which
frequently doubted the means by which
frequently doubted the means by which the system operated she often sat in awe
the system operated she often sat in awe
the system operated she often sat in awe of creation when atop mountains when
of creation when atop mountains when
of creation when atop mountains when watching the resilience of humanity or
watching the resilience of humanity or
watching the resilience of humanity or when admiring the complexity of ladybugs
when admiring the complexity of ladybugs
when admiring the complexity of ladybugs she didn’t always get it but she tried
she didn’t always get it but she tried
she didn’t always get it but she tried really damn hard Ali loved Airport
really damn hard Ali loved Airport
really damn hard Ali loved Airport reunions because she felt they
reunions because she felt they
reunions because she felt they encompassed the best of our ability to
encompassed the best of our ability to
encompassed the best of our ability to embrace one another and to appreciate
embrace one another and to appreciate
embrace one another and to appreciate all that is fleeting she asked that you
all that is fleeting she asked that you
all that is fleeting she asked that you practice this whenever possible
practice this whenever possible
practice this whenever possible especially when it seems most impossible
especially when it seems most impossible
especially when it seems most impossible Ellie Hogg was a bitch and she relished
Ellie Hogg was a bitch and she relished
Ellie Hogg was a bitch and she relished being called such because it placed her
being called such because it placed her
being called such because it placed her in the company of so many women that she
in the company of so many women that she
in the company of so many women that she admired and as she was always quick to
admired and as she was always quick to
admired and as she was always quick to remind everyone bitches get stuff done
remind everyone bitches get stuff done
remind everyone bitches get stuff done and get stuff done she did such stuff
and get stuff done she did such stuff
and get stuff done she did such stuff ranged from writer to teach her to camp
ranged from writer to teach her to camp
ranged from writer to teach her to camp counselor ruthlessly and very
counselor ruthlessly and very
counselor ruthlessly and very irritatingly advocating for the rights
irritatingly advocating for the rights
irritatingly advocating for the rights of women and children at every possible
of women and children at every possible
of women and children at every possible opportunity she believed above all else
opportunity she believed above all else
opportunity she believed above all else in the power of a sense of humor to
in the power of a sense of humor to
in the power of a sense of humor to bring about change and she maintained
bring about change and she maintained
bring about change and she maintained her sense of humor to her dying days
her sense of humor to her dying days
her sense of humor to her dying days frequently to a deeply defensing degree
frequently to a deeply defensing degree
frequently to a deeply defensing degree deeply offensive to create it are you
deeply offensive to create it are you
deeply offensive to create it are you ladies are laced with inside jokes dark
ladies are laced with inside jokes dark
ladies are laced with inside jokes dark humor and inexplicable scenarios because
humor and inexplicable scenarios because
humor and inexplicable scenarios because that’s how life works we embellish a tad
that’s how life works we embellish a tad
that’s how life works we embellish a tad but we don’t change the fabric of
but we don’t change the fabric of
but we don’t change the fabric of stories we honor the snags the terrible
stories we honor the snags the terrible
stories we honor the snags the terrible planning the unfinished parts and the
planning the unfinished parts and the
planning the unfinished parts and the unexpected gems by a show by a show of
unexpected gems by a show by a show of
unexpected gems by a show by a show of hands how many of you have wondered what
hands how many of you have wondered what
hands how many of you have wondered what people would say at your funeral how
people would say at your funeral how
people would say at your funeral how many of you plan not to die
many of you plan not to die
many of you plan not to die oh that’s likely not an option how many
oh that’s likely not an option how many
oh that’s likely not an option how many of you fear the death of a loved one how
of you fear the death of a loved one how
of you fear the death of a loved one how many of you relish the idea of a loved
many of you relish the idea of a loved
many of you relish the idea of a loved one dying poof we’re good nobody raised
one dying poof we’re good nobody raised
one dying poof we’re good nobody raised their hands it is likely that many of us
their hands it is likely that many of us
their hands it is likely that many of us have already experienced this kind of
have already experienced this kind of
have already experienced this kind of loss and it is very likely that at some
loss and it is very likely that at some
loss and it is very likely that at some point we all will would you all lean
point we all will would you all lean
point we all will would you all lean into the opportunity to tell those you
into the opportunity to tell those you
into the opportunity to tell those you love exactly how you feel about them to
love exactly how you feel about them to
love exactly how you feel about them to screw up your courage and hold them in
screw up your courage and hold them in
screw up your courage and hold them in simple recognition we are by no means
simple recognition we are by no means
simple recognition we are by no means attempting to glorified grief or death
attempting to glorified grief or death
attempting to glorified grief or death or loss in doing this we are simply
or loss in doing this we are simply
or loss in doing this we are simply acknowledging the inevitability of human
acknowledging the inevitability of human
acknowledging the inevitability of human loss as I have long said you should
loss as I have long said you should
loss as I have long said you should preemptively plan your funeral and not
preemptively plan your funeral and not
preemptively plan your funeral and not your wedding because you’re actually
your wedding because you’re actually
your wedding because you’re actually more guaranteed to have a funeral this
more guaranteed to have a funeral this
more guaranteed to have a funeral this project means no offense and you’re by
project means no offense and you’re by
project means no offense and you’re by no means required to write eulogies in
no means required to write eulogies in
no means required to write eulogies in order to love or to honor well at the
order to love or to honor well at the
order to love or to honor well at the core of this project is a simple idea
core of this project is a simple idea
core of this project is a simple idea recognition so perhaps far more
recognition so perhaps far more
recognition so perhaps far more important than running home to write a
important than running home to write a
important than running home to write a eulogy for the houseplant you recently
eulogy for the houseplant you recently
eulogy for the houseplant you recently murdered while on a weekend ski trip you
murdered while on a weekend ski trip you
murdered while on a weekend ski trip you should ask those you love those around
should ask those you love those around
should ask those you love those around you how they want to be honored but what
you how they want to be honored but what
you how they want to be honored but what do you want to have been what do you
do you want to have been what do you
do you want to have been what do you hope to have done how spectacularly well
hope to have done how spectacularly well
hope to have done how spectacularly well do you hope to live out your final days
do you hope to live out your final days
do you hope to live out your final days however far off and hypothetical they
however far off and hypothetical they
however far off and hypothetical they may be in doing this we urge you to get
may be in doing this we urge you to get
may be in doing this we urge you to get out of your immediate circle of family
out of your immediate circle of family
out of your immediate circle of family friends pets houseplants and extend
friends pets houseplants and extend
friends pets houseplants and extend recognition to the global community now
recognition to the global community now
recognition to the global community now perhaps more than ever recognition is
perhaps more than ever recognition is
perhaps more than ever recognition is vital our society is moving away from
vital our society is moving away from
vital our society is moving away from the importance of honoring the stories
the importance of honoring the stories
the importance of honoring the stories of others of honoring those who are
of others of honoring those who are
of others of honoring those who are leadership teams different and therefore
leadership teams different and therefore
leadership teams different and therefore dangerous those who are behind walls
dangerous those who are behind walls
dangerous those who are behind walls both real and theoretical those who have
both real and theoretical those who have
both real and theoretical those who have been stuck in airports those beneath the
been stuck in airports those beneath the
been stuck in airports those beneath the glass ceiling of honoring those who our
glass ceiling of honoring those who our
glass ceiling of honoring those who our country will not those were the
country will not those were the
country will not those were the beautiful experience of love and those
beautiful experience of love and those
beautiful experience of love and those who feel lost in all of this may they
who feel lost in all of this may they
who feel lost in all of this may they may we all live in peace thank you
may we all live in peace thank you
may we all live in peace thank you you
”
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