thank you thank you very much for having me on this stage is truly an honor let’s
me on this stage is truly an honor let’s
me on this stage is truly an honor let’s give a big round of applause for the
give a big round of applause for the
give a big round of applause for the organizers of today’s
that’s it I can’t see any of you people
that’s it I can’t see any of you people that have be really nice okay right so
that have be really nice okay right so
that have be really nice okay right so good evening ladies and gentlemen my
good evening ladies and gentlemen my
good evening ladies and gentlemen my name is Maximus tell all of you
name is Maximus tell all of you
name is Maximus tell all of you everybody
everybody
everybody Oh max I’m comedian expert opinion
Oh max I’m comedian expert opinion
Oh max I’m comedian expert opinion we love you over there so Ted exhale you
we love you over there so Ted exhale you
we love you over there so Ted exhale you read today’s theme is
read today’s theme is
read today’s theme is I need us our in finite right so let’s
I need us our in finite right so let’s
I need us our in finite right so let’s think about this for a second
think about this for a second
think about this for a second now how could we come to exist right it
now how could we come to exist right it
now how could we come to exist right it was an idea and honey let’s have a baby
was an idea and honey let’s have a baby
was an idea and honey let’s have a baby one stormy night my mom and dad decided
one stormy night my mom and dad decided
one stormy night my mom and dad decided a kiss will happen but then this is not
a kiss will happen but then this is not
a kiss will happen but then this is not really us without the events penis our
really us without the events penis our
really us without the events penis our Israel finite and that is why today were
Israel finite and that is why today were
Israel finite and that is why today were 1.6 billion people
people have some people are like but max
people have some people are like but max you talk about this on stage battery
you talk about this on stage battery
you talk about this on stage battery parents that’s a bad idea
parents that’s a bad idea
parents that’s a bad idea I didn’t so it was a great idea
I didn’t so it was a great idea
I didn’t so it was a great idea it’s what they had another idea not a
it’s what they had another idea not a
it’s what they had another idea not a sister
some people out there who do not
some people out there who do not understand these ideas so well okay
understand these ideas so well okay
understand these ideas so well okay it would like to pump out cricket teams
it would like to pump out cricket teams
it would like to pump out cricket teams out here in Lebanon I’m like in high 90s
out here in Lebanon I’m like in high 90s
out here in Lebanon I’m like in high 90s I start this so small innovation
I start this so small innovation
I start this so small innovation officers in Division Officers we’re
officers in Division Officers we’re
officers in Division Officers we’re gonna push this take your next other
gonna push this take your next other
gonna push this take your next other local girls so that is you know my name
local girls so that is you know my name
local girls so that is you know my name is Maximus tell my best friend called me
is Maximus tell my best friend called me
is Maximus tell my best friend called me max max because he has a stutter
anomaly after your magic did I do comedy
anomaly after your magic did I do comedy so if I see something that’s not funny
so if I see something that’s not funny
so if I see something that’s not funny today it’s magic now a little bit about
today it’s magic now a little bit about
today it’s magic now a little bit about myself I was naturally born in Saudi
myself I was naturally born in Saudi
myself I was naturally born in Saudi Arabia morning base inside of your head
Arabia morning base inside of your head
Arabia morning base inside of your head all the land of the ninjas you do not
all the land of the ninjas you do not
all the land of the ninjas you do not know just by the pointed out ship so
know just by the pointed out ship so
know just by the pointed out ship so even I think you do that your head it’s
even I think you do that your head it’s
even I think you do that your head it’s wrong it was born there raised there
wrong it was born there raised there
wrong it was born there raised there else I can’t do that get away with it
else I can’t do that get away with it
else I can’t do that get away with it I personally think the Japanese people
I personally think the Japanese people
I personally think the Japanese people they still the concept of ninjas from
they still the concept of ninjas from
they still the concept of ninjas from the Saudis and it colors to it and
the Saudis and it colors to it and
the Saudis and it colors to it and Hollywood still that concept from the
Hollywood still that concept from the
Hollywood still that concept from the Japanese had for monsters we had up the
Japanese had for monsters we had up the
Japanese had for monsters we had up the Power Rangers
[Music]
[Music] that was a crazy idea I just hope we
that was a crazy idea I just hope we
that was a crazy idea I just hope we don’t have any more power rangers and
don’t have any more power rangers and
don’t have any more power rangers and hope you’ve not embrace the fact that
hope you’ve not embrace the fact that
hope you’ve not embrace the fact that ideas are in fine it’s not let’s make
ideas are in fine it’s not let’s make
ideas are in fine it’s not let’s make more Power Rangers movies please stop
more Power Rangers movies please stop
more Power Rangers movies please stop don’t don’t even bother
don’t don’t even bother
don’t don’t even bother Oh nervous you might out this day don’t
Oh nervous you might out this day don’t
Oh nervous you might out this day don’t know for sure I mean basically as I said
know for sure I mean basically as I said
know for sure I mean basically as I said close to you I was born based in Saudi
close to you I was born based in Saudi
close to you I was born based in Saudi Arabia this I dream is one of these
Arabia this I dream is one of these
Arabia this I dream is one of these crafts that’s very low known for
crafts that’s very low known for
crafts that’s very low known for pressing many okay are you are soul
pressing many okay are you are soul
pressing many okay are you are soul president when people go you don’t want
president when people go you don’t want
president when people go you don’t want to write a car okay it will get to bear
to write a car okay it will get to bear
to write a car okay it will get to bear our needs to wear one will take away
our needs to wear one will take away
our needs to wear one will take away your freedom sure thing we to take away
your freedom sure thing we to take away
your freedom sure thing we to take away your sight who cares okay all right um
your sight who cares okay all right um
your sight who cares okay all right um single people in the house give me a
single people in the house give me a
single people in the house give me a cheer signalman and asking you to see
cheer signalman and asking you to see
cheer signalman and asking you to see the women and ask me a chair married
the women and ask me a chair married
the women and ask me a chair married people don’t mother
imagine that word it’s a sentence okay
imagine that word it’s a sentence okay in my mind you can never be married and
in my mind you can never be married and
in my mind you can never be married and happy
happy
happy I mean Eureka wasn’t one of the two
I mean Eureka wasn’t one of the two
I mean Eureka wasn’t one of the two members of the same time unless you’re a
members of the same time unless you’re a
members of the same time unless you’re a savvy man and you’re like four times
savvy man and you’re like four times
savvy man and you’re like four times have you marry
that you okay what else what else what
that you okay what else what else what else what else
else what else
else what else obviously they’re not going to India and
obviously they’re not going to India and
obviously they’re not going to India and one of the things that would absolutely
one of the things that would absolutely
one of the things that would absolutely fantastic up for there was I was very
fantastic up for there was I was very
fantastic up for there was I was very proud to represent my country over there
proud to represent my country over there
proud to represent my country over there because I’ve always start my show with a
because I’ve always start my show with a
because I’ve always start my show with a big demand my name is Matthew Selleck
big demand my name is Matthew Selleck
big demand my name is Matthew Selleck I’m from a very big country called
I’m from a very big country called
I’m from a very big country called Bangladesh they left
Bangladesh they left
Bangladesh they left I wondered why and why my shows escaped
I wondered why and why my shows escaped
I wondered why and why my shows escaped felt like you know what I’m doing as
felt like you know what I’m doing as
felt like you know what I’m doing as funny be abomination up people
what gives you the right to think that
what gives you the right to think that you’re so better off than I say here’s
you’re so better off than I say here’s
you’re so better off than I say here’s some perspective let’s go there
some perspective let’s go there
some perspective let’s go there okay you guys round we guys around
okay you guys round we guys around
okay you guys round we guys around people who have a place on the streets
people who have a place on the streets
people who have a place on the streets people involving on this
no story – sorry the place that I was
no story – sorry the place that I was living in okay five bucks away from when
living in okay five bucks away from when
living in okay five bucks away from when I go there this really broken road and I
I go there this really broken road and I
I go there this really broken road and I walk out one day I see six kids –
walk out one day I see six kids –
walk out one day I see six kids – extending equidistant groovy no heads
extending equidistant groovy no heads
extending equidistant groovy no heads they’re sitting down sitting and talking
they’re sitting down sitting and talking
they’re sitting down sitting and talking to each other
I’ve always wondered what do you say
I’ve always wondered what do you say what if these kids say hey man how’s
what if these kids say hey man how’s
what if these kids say hey man how’s your that’s appear to me
that wasn’t that great of an idea was it
that wasn’t that great of an idea was it I imagine it beheading Friday night
I imagine it beheading Friday night
I imagine it beheading Friday night ideas of her jokes there I’m on to so
ideas of her jokes there I’m on to so
ideas of her jokes there I’m on to so I’ve been traveling up in performances
I’ve been traveling up in performances
I’ve been traveling up in performances on a nine Bobby there’s a few hours
on a nine Bobby there’s a few hours
on a nine Bobby there’s a few hours drive away for mommy
drive away for mommy
drive away for mommy actually this nasal Unni
actually this nasal Unni
actually this nasal Unni thanked me you had a fantastic place
thanked me you had a fantastic place
thanked me you had a fantastic place okay I had a fantastic show wonderful
okay I had a fantastic show wonderful
okay I had a fantastic show wonderful lovely audience and I stepped off the
lovely audience and I stepped off the
lovely audience and I stepped off the stage and true story
stage and true story
stage and true story and this girl walks up a really drunk
and this girl walks up a really drunk
and this girl walks up a really drunk girl and she’s like drunk like drunk
girl and she’s like drunk like drunk
girl and she’s like drunk like drunk like if I hold a flame in front of her
like if I hold a flame in front of her
like if I hold a flame in front of her mouth and become a flamethrower that
mouth and become a flamethrower that
mouth and become a flamethrower that level of drunk you know okay
what am I the Guerrero because you not
what am I the Guerrero because you not have an accent
have an accent
have an accent I like all the accent that’s an East
I like all the accent that’s an East
I like all the accent that’s an East Pakistan accent and she’s still engaged
Pakistan accent and she’s still engaged
Pakistan accent and she’s still engaged that yes I thought it was different and
that yes I thought it was different and
that yes I thought it was different and then she’s like yeah so as I sit with
then she’s like yeah so as I sit with
then she’s like yeah so as I sit with Max peasant you didn’t I mean okay
Max peasant you didn’t I mean okay
Max peasant you didn’t I mean okay you’re telling me about an annoying out
you’re telling me about an annoying out
you’re telling me about an annoying out seven
have you ever heard nurse helps be your
have you ever heard nurse helps be your accent is for long it would get Russell
accent is for long it would get Russell
accent is for long it would get Russell beautiful I plan for the material
and you do that how dare you 50,000
and you do that how dare you 50,000 rupees I’m good
rupees I’m good
rupees I’m good all right this out you know if you want
all right this out you know if you want
all right this out you know if you want extra services there’s a ask late are we
extra services there’s a ask late are we
extra services there’s a ask late are we late and this is I kid you not this
late and this is I kid you not this
late and this is I kid you not this water friend said okay the supportive
water friend said okay the supportive
water friend said okay the supportive friend said nice you know partying the
friend said nice you know partying the
friend said nice you know partying the hell is that
hell is that
hell is that hey you know
please give me 10 minutes worth of new
please give me 10 minutes worth of new material so people like hello sir how
material so people like hello sir how
material so people like hello sir how are you yes
are you yes
are you yes father it’s me you left me here 20 years
father it’s me you left me here 20 years
father it’s me you left me here 20 years ago you went to play bingo and
ago you went to play bingo and
ago you went to play bingo and everything back are you right so so far
everything back are you right so so far
everything back are you right so so far you guys have your time yeah
here’s last one of these something that
here’s last one of these something that you just slide off right now
you just slide off right now
you just slide off right now you know we all watch we almost super
you know we all watch we almost super
you know we all watch we almost super ears and said okay let me just find
ears and said okay let me just find
ears and said okay let me just find something out you notice it definitely
something out you notice it definitely
something out you notice it definitely okay
okay
okay Marvel fans in the house in your chair
Marvel fans in the house in your chair
Marvel fans in the house in your chair you see fans in the house give you more
you see fans in the house give you more
you see fans in the house give you more than one fans you know what is it
never wants a blue hat what excuse me I
never wants a blue hat what excuse me I already came on this trip
already came on this trip
already came on this trip okay as I’m okay now here’s the thing
okay as I’m okay now here’s the thing
okay as I’m okay now here’s the thing before you write something about a
before you write something about a
before you write something about a certain issue which I believe this is
certain issue which I believe this is
certain issue which I believe this is you do research I did my research it
you do research I did my research it
you do research I did my research it turns out that the manga is the comic
and then sometime in the year 2002
and then sometime in the year 2002 apparently some magazine has voted this
apparently some magazine has voted this
apparently some magazine has voted this silly not even side blue that’s my
silly not even side blue that’s my
silly not even side blue that’s my favorite color colored hats okay – this
favorite color colored hats okay – this
favorite color colored hats okay – this was elected to be Asian hero
was elected to be Asian hero
was elected to be Asian hero now I’m thinking vomit into the heart of
now I’m thinking vomit into the heart of
now I’m thinking vomit into the heart of Asia do any of you remember voting for
Asia do any of you remember voting for
Asia do any of you remember voting for this Asian hero
this Asian hero
this Asian hero um you remember pointing at all this
um you remember pointing at all this
um you remember pointing at all this year
it’s not a target on your faces but on
it’s not a target on your faces but on this day at the same
this day at the same
this day at the same okay now patanjali’s I promise you guys
okay now patanjali’s I promise you guys
okay now patanjali’s I promise you guys any card trick and I actually had the
any card trick and I actually had the
any card trick and I actually had the oldest trick in the world with me for
oldest trick in the world with me for
oldest trick in the world with me for you guys so I would love to show it to
you guys so I would love to show it to
you guys so I would love to show it to you but can someone give you that time
you but can someone give you that time
you but can someone give you that time please you just really give me the time
please you just really give me the time
please you just really give me the time of hollowing – on so on for 16 okay okay
of hollowing – on so on for 16 okay okay
of hollowing – on so on for 16 okay okay I’ve got two more minutes a donut like
I’ve got two more minutes a donut like
I’ve got two more minutes a donut like to leave you with something that I’ve
to leave you with something that I’ve
to leave you with something that I’ve been closing a lot of my shows before I
been closing a lot of my shows before I
been closing a lot of my shows before I don’t think you have time for the oldest
don’t think you have time for the oldest
don’t think you have time for the oldest Street in the world as my said I’d love
Street in the world as my said I’d love
Street in the world as my said I’d love to show you some of you might have seen
to show you some of you might have seen
to show you some of you might have seen this trick before I used to perform at a
this trick before I used to perform at a
this trick before I used to perform at a mental asylum
okay here you go ladies that mean so are
okay here you go ladies that mean so are you guys rate this magic yeah
here we go so I have here inside my
here we go so I have here inside my pocket is a genuine act of American cars
pocket is a genuine act of American cars
pocket is a genuine act of American cars made in China all packet cards that you
made in China all packet cards that you
made in China all packet cards that you can buy at any magic shop okay right and
can buy at any magic shop okay right and
can buy at any magic shop okay right and this generally do you care mind your
this generally do you care mind your
this generally do you care mind your right upper what’s your name correct
right upper what’s your name correct
right upper what’s your name correct answer you also get any batteries and
answer you also get any batteries and
answer you also get any batteries and nobody show okay I’m joking okay what a
nobody show okay I’m joking okay what a
nobody show okay I’m joking okay what a life your dues man I’m gonna throw this
life your dues man I’m gonna throw this
life your dues man I’m gonna throw this to you catch okay all right here we go
to you catch okay all right here we go
to you catch okay all right here we go I have two cards fantastic she’s a
I have two cards fantastic she’s a
I have two cards fantastic she’s a professional okay all right I would like
professional okay all right I would like
professional okay all right I would like you to go through the pack I like to
you to go through the pack I like to
you to go through the pack I like to take out one card and one card only Oh
take out one card and one card only Oh
take out one card and one card only Oh before you do that shovel the back okay
before you do that shovel the back okay
before you do that shovel the back okay shuffle the pack yes give it a taste I
shuffle the pack yes give it a taste I
shuffle the pack yes give it a taste I know you can’t see this but we’ll get
know you can’t see this but we’ll get
know you can’t see this but we’ll get this up on stage it’s a shuffle the pack
this up on stage it’s a shuffle the pack
this up on stage it’s a shuffle the pack but don’t mess up the order
but don’t mess up the order
but don’t mess up the order [Music]
okay honey shut the back yes okay you
okay honey shut the back yes okay you satisfied yes no one’s any better than
satisfied yes no one’s any better than
satisfied yes no one’s any better than you
you
you okay alright I have to say it it’s in my
okay alright I have to say it it’s in my
okay alright I have to say it it’s in my shrimp I’d like to do is I like to speak
shrimp I’d like to do is I like to speak
shrimp I’d like to do is I like to speak one card any one card from and over
one card any one card from and over
one card any one card from and over there like not that one
just pick any part okay okay how high
just pick any part okay okay how high influence your choice
influence your choice
influence your choice just leave the okay okay did you have a
just leave the okay okay did you have a
just leave the okay okay did you have a partner yes I think you hear me say yo
partner yes I think you hear me say yo
partner yes I think you hear me say yo okay here we go yeah part yes okay would
okay here we go yeah part yes okay would
okay here we go yeah part yes okay would you like to come right up and make the
you like to come right up and make the
you like to come right up and make the cards along with you lady come on these
cards along with you lady come on these
cards along with you lady come on these are expensive don’t drop my dress go
are expensive don’t drop my dress go
are expensive don’t drop my dress go right up over there
right up over there
right up over there okay if you move your feet your body
okay if you move your feet your body
okay if you move your feet your body follows communicator stand for me the
follows communicator stand for me the
follows communicator stand for me the same distance in fact you said right
same distance in fact you said right
same distance in fact you said right over there sad for me the same distance
over there sad for me the same distance
over there sad for me the same distance I’m standing from you okay okay I’ll
I’m standing from you okay okay I’ll
I’m standing from you okay okay I’ll take back your cards okay hundred just
take back your cards okay hundred just
take back your cards okay hundred just your mom you keep the garden that you
your mom you keep the garden that you
your mom you keep the garden that you selected you can you selected okay here
selected you can you selected okay here
selected you can you selected okay here you go I’ll turn around I want you to
you go I’ll turn around I want you to
you go I’ll turn around I want you to other parking you beautiful people here
other parking you beautiful people here
other parking you beautiful people here beautiful you hear people in the back
right now show the everyone folks if
right now show the everyone folks if you’ve seen the car say yes
you’ve seen the car say yes
you’ve seen the car say yes if you see the bond say yes okay
if you see the bond say yes okay
if you see the bond say yes okay one guy hasn’t seen it in the car did
one guy hasn’t seen it in the car did
one guy hasn’t seen it in the car did you see a car you see a car
you see a car you see a car
you see a car you see a car well they’d ever seen you expected in
well they’d ever seen you expected in
well they’d ever seen you expected in card
okay last trick here we go
okay last trick here we go an orange t-shirt so what’s your name no
an orange t-shirt so what’s your name no
an orange t-shirt so what’s your name no obviously many people over here wearing
obviously many people over here wearing
obviously many people over here wearing a full orange t-shirt
a full orange t-shirt
a full orange t-shirt Oh
in that case that idea sorry so maybe
in that case that idea sorry so maybe there’s a stop before I finish a good
there’s a stop before I finish a good
there’s a stop before I finish a good idea
what their name is general show you guys
what their name is general show you guys are gone once again I think I have one
are gone once again I think I have one
are gone once again I think I have one more minute almost out fine but I’ll do
more minute almost out fine but I’ll do
more minute almost out fine but I’ll do this trick for you guys very fast all
this trick for you guys very fast all
this trick for you guys very fast all the time to find the car using the mouse
the time to find the car using the mouse
the time to find the car using the mouse now we cut the pack once I’ll cut it
now we cut the pack once I’ll cut it
now we cut the pack once I’ll cut it twice
twice
twice Oh cut it three times okay now okay here
Oh cut it three times okay now okay here
Oh cut it three times okay now okay here we go
we go
we go finally parties in the mouth you guys
finally parties in the mouth you guys
finally parties in the mouth you guys have been fantastic thank you very much
have been fantastic thank you very much
have been fantastic thank you very much for giving me this opportunity you can
for giving me this opportunity you can
for giving me this opportunity you can clap later here we go alright
queen of diamonds okay yes ladies and
queen of diamonds okay yes ladies and gentlemen that is between United States
okay this is the queen x ladies and
okay this is the queen x ladies and gentlemen thank you very much
you got a second opportunity for this
you got a second opportunity for this this wrong remember this it up
”
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