so I’m here today to talk about dementia and the reason I’m here is because I’ve
and the reason I’m here is because I’ve
and the reason I’m here is because I’ve found a better way to do it a way that
found a better way to do it a way that
found a better way to do it a way that helps both the people who have it and
helps both the people who have it and
helps both the people who have it and their families so why should we as
their families so why should we as
their families so why should we as citizens of America as families be
citizens of America as families be
citizens of America as families be concerned about dementia that’s
concerned about dementia that’s
concerned about dementia that’s something we think of being taken care
something we think of being taken care
something we think of being taken care of by our medical professionals well
of by our medical professionals well
of by our medical professionals well there’s two really good reasons number
there’s two really good reasons number
there’s two really good reasons number one this is a an epidemic
one this is a an epidemic
one this is a an epidemic it’s still growing and we don’t have a
it’s still growing and we don’t have a
it’s still growing and we don’t have a cure so last year 2016 5.5 million
cure so last year 2016 5.5 million
cure so last year 2016 5.5 million Americans were diagnosed with
Americans were diagnosed with
Americans were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Alzheimer’s represents
Alzheimer’s and Alzheimer’s represents
Alzheimer’s and Alzheimer’s represents about 60 to 80 percent of the dimensions
about 60 to 80 percent of the dimensions
about 60 to 80 percent of the dimensions that we experience so that would be
that we experience so that would be
that we experience so that would be about seven point eight million people
about seven point eight million people
about seven point eight million people diagnosed with dementia and yet only
diagnosed with dementia and yet only
diagnosed with dementia and yet only about half of us go to a doctor and are
about half of us go to a doctor and are
about half of us go to a doctor and are diagnosed so that means last year alone
diagnosed so that means last year alone
diagnosed so that means last year alone 2016 over 15 million families began
2016 over 15 million families began
2016 over 15 million families began struggling to live with someone
struggling to live with someone
struggling to live with someone experiencing progressive cognitive
experiencing progressive cognitive
experiencing progressive cognitive impairment and that’s not the biggest
impairment and that’s not the biggest
impairment and that’s not the biggest problem that we face because this year
problem that we face because this year
problem that we face because this year 10,000 Americans turned 60 every day and
10,000 Americans turned 60 every day and
10,000 Americans turned 60 every day and by 2050 we will have twice as many
by 2050 we will have twice as many
by 2050 we will have twice as many people living over the age of 65 and
people living over the age of 65 and
people living over the age of 65 and that’s why we talk about our silver
that’s why we talk about our silver
that’s why we talk about our silver tsunami but if you have an ageing
tsunami but if you have an ageing
tsunami but if you have an ageing population then you have a shrinking
population then you have a shrinking
population then you have a shrinking workforce right now we have a caregiver
workforce right now we have a caregiver
workforce right now we have a caregiver shortage and in some places in the
shortage and in some places in the
shortage and in some places in the country it’s critical but it’s going to
country it’s critical but it’s going to
country it’s critical but it’s going to get a whole lot worse and so the reason
get a whole lot worse and so the reason
get a whole lot worse and so the reason we as families as citizens should be
we as families as citizens should be
we as families as citizens should be thinking about dementia and how we can
thinking about dementia and how we can
thinking about dementia and how we can live with it and how we can work with it
live with it and how we can work with it
live with it and how we can work with it is because a lot of us are going to be
is because a lot of us are going to be
is because a lot of us are going to be forced to do that
forced to do that
forced to do that in the coming decade and if you have
in the coming decade and if you have
in the coming decade and if you have someone in your family now or somebody
someone in your family now or somebody
someone in your family now or somebody that you know that it is experiencing
that you know that it is experiencing
that you know that it is experiencing dementia you you already know this is a
dementia you you already know this is a
dementia you you already know this is a very expensive disease but it’s an
very expensive disease but it’s an
very expensive disease but it’s an emotionally devastating one for the
emotionally devastating one for the
emotionally devastating one for the family and for the person experiencing
family and for the person experiencing
family and for the person experiencing it so why is that you know some people
it so why is that you know some people
it so why is that you know some people are aware that they are becoming
are aware that they are becoming
are aware that they are becoming impaired so think about what it would
impaired so think about what it would
impaired so think about what it would feel like if you woke up tomorrow
feel like if you woke up tomorrow
feel like if you woke up tomorrow morning and you could not figure out
morning and you could not figure out
morning and you could not figure out where your socks were and it wasn’t
where your socks were and it wasn’t
where your socks were and it wasn’t because you were in a hotel room you
because you were in a hotel room you
because you were in a hotel room you walk into the kitchen and you can’t make
walk into the kitchen and you can’t make
walk into the kitchen and you can’t make coffee with your own coffee maker or you
coffee with your own coffee maker or you
coffee with your own coffee maker or you walk out of work one night and you’re
walk out of work one night and you’re
walk out of work one night and you’re looking at a parking lot full of cars
looking at a parking lot full of cars
looking at a parking lot full of cars and you cannot think of what your car
and you cannot think of what your car
and you cannot think of what your car looks like it’s scary and and then you
looks like it’s scary and and then you
looks like it’s scary and and then you go to the doctor and your doctor says
go to the doctor and your doctor says
go to the doctor and your doctor says yeah you know this looks like dementia
yeah you know this looks like dementia
yeah you know this looks like dementia and now you know you’ve got 8 to 12
and now you know you’ve got 8 to 12
and now you know you’ve got 8 to 12 years of a life expectancy and if
years of a life expectancy and if
years of a life expectancy and if something else doesn’t kill you first
something else doesn’t kill you first
something else doesn’t kill you first you are looking at becoming bedridden
you are looking at becoming bedridden
you are looking at becoming bedridden and in need of complete care so people
and in need of complete care so people
and in need of complete care so people are terrified and rightfully so but then
are terrified and rightfully so but then
are terrified and rightfully so but then other people are not aware they are not
other people are not aware they are not
other people are not aware they are not able to comprehend that it’s their brain
able to comprehend that it’s their brain
able to comprehend that it’s their brain that is changing and so these people
that is changing and so these people
that is changing and so these people don’t feel as much afraid as they feel
don’t feel as much afraid as they feel
don’t feel as much afraid as they feel frustrated and angry because of course
frustrated and angry because of course
frustrated and angry because of course it seems to them that everybody around
it seems to them that everybody around
it seems to them that everybody around them is being difficult hiding things
them is being difficult hiding things
them is being difficult hiding things losing things accusing them of doing
losing things accusing them of doing
losing things accusing them of doing things that they did not do and so these
things that they did not do and so these
things that they did not do and so these people begin to feel a little persecuted
people begin to feel a little persecuted
people begin to feel a little persecuted maybe a little paranoid and so they’re
maybe a little paranoid and so they’re
maybe a little paranoid and so they’re more angry than afraid but how do we
more angry than afraid but how do we
more angry than afraid but how do we behave when we’re angry or afraid we’re
behave when we’re angry or afraid we’re
behave when we’re angry or afraid we’re not very reasonable we’re not very easy
not very reasonable we’re not very easy
not very reasonable we’re not very easy to live with
to live with
to live with and so even before you take into account
and so even before you take into account
and so even before you take into account what happens
what happens
what happens to communication and interactions when
to communication and interactions when
to communication and interactions when your cognitive skills are fading away it
your cognitive skills are fading away it
your cognitive skills are fading away it is really stressful to try to live with
is really stressful to try to live with
is really stressful to try to live with somebody who has dementia but you know
somebody who has dementia but you know
somebody who has dementia but you know it really doesn’t have to be as bad as
it really doesn’t have to be as bad as
it really doesn’t have to be as bad as it has been and it’s it’s not expensive
it has been and it’s it’s not expensive
it has been and it’s it’s not expensive to fix this and we don’t have to all go
to fix this and we don’t have to all go
to fix this and we don’t have to all go to medical school and become doctors or
to medical school and become doctors or
to medical school and become doctors or nurses or even CNAs and you don’t even
nurses or even CNAs and you don’t even
nurses or even CNAs and you don’t even need a college education but what we
need a college education but what we
need a college education but what we have to do is step back and look at
have to do is step back and look at
have to do is step back and look at dementia from a different approach so
dementia from a different approach so
dementia from a different approach so how do we currently look at dementia we
how do we currently look at dementia we
how do we currently look at dementia we see it as a medical problem a disease
see it as a medical problem a disease
see it as a medical problem a disease something that has symptoms these
something that has symptoms these
something that has symptoms these symptoms are called dementia related
symptoms are called dementia related
symptoms are called dementia related behaviors and we’ve got a whole list of
behaviors and we’ve got a whole list of
behaviors and we’ve got a whole list of terms to talk about them with so if I
terms to talk about them with so if I
terms to talk about them with so if I went to the doctor and my doctor said to
went to the doctor and my doctor said to
went to the doctor and my doctor said to me you know Judy I really think you’ve
me you know Judy I really think you’ve
me you know Judy I really think you’ve got cancer then immediately I would want
got cancer then immediately I would want
got cancer then immediately I would want a referral to a specialist probably to a
a referral to a specialist probably to a
a referral to a specialist probably to a surgeon
surgeon
surgeon and I would want to know everything
and I would want to know everything
and I would want to know everything there is to know about my cancer how far
there is to know about my cancer how far
there is to know about my cancer how far along it is where it is whether it’s red
along it is where it is whether it’s red
along it is where it is whether it’s red all possible treatments and I’d want all
all possible treatments and I’d want all
all possible treatments and I’d want all of my doctors focused on that cancer
of my doctors focused on that cancer
of my doctors focused on that cancer because there’s treatments and I’ve got
because there’s treatments and I’ve got
because there’s treatments and I’ve got a really good chance I’m not gonna have
a really good chance I’m not gonna have
a really good chance I’m not gonna have to live the rest of my life with it
to live the rest of my life with it
to live the rest of my life with it so I want everyone focused on what’s
so I want everyone focused on what’s
so I want everyone focused on what’s wrong with me
wrong with me
wrong with me my disability because we’ve got
my disability because we’ve got
my disability because we’ve got treatment and with dementia we do the
treatment and with dementia we do the
treatment and with dementia we do the same thing we we go straight to the
same thing we we go straight to the
same thing we we go straight to the doctor as well we should for diagnosis
doctor as well we should for diagnosis
doctor as well we should for diagnosis but this is one of those instances where
but this is one of those instances where
but this is one of those instances where you know we think we’ve been seeing
you know we think we’ve been seeing
you know we think we’ve been seeing something clearly we think we’re doing
something clearly we think we’re doing
something clearly we think we’re doing the best we can but there’s no way to
the best we can but there’s no way to
the best we can but there’s no way to know that we could do it better until we
know that we could do it better until we
know that we could do it better until we actually
actually
actually look at it from a different angle and
look at it from a different angle and
look at it from a different angle and and so with dementia yes let’s get
and so with dementia yes let’s get
and so with dementia yes let’s get diagnosis but if we don’t have a
diagnosis but if we don’t have a
diagnosis but if we don’t have a reliable treatment one that works for
reliable treatment one that works for
reliable treatment one that works for everybody one that works every time if
everybody one that works every time if
everybody one that works every time if we don’t have a cure why are we still
we don’t have a cure why are we still
we don’t have a cure why are we still then turning to medical professionals
then turning to medical professionals
then turning to medical professionals focused on on what’s wrong under
focused on on what’s wrong under
focused on on what’s wrong under disabilities the person is displaying
disabilities the person is displaying
disabilities the person is displaying what why don’t we focus on the person
what why don’t we focus on the person
what why don’t we focus on the person because if you have to live with
because if you have to live with
because if you have to live with something the rest of your life it
something the rest of your life it
something the rest of your life it wouldn’t it make more sense wouldn’t it
wouldn’t it make more sense wouldn’t it
wouldn’t it make more sense wouldn’t it be more helpful if we knew what you
be more helpful if we knew what you
be more helpful if we knew what you could do rather than what you couldn’t
could do rather than what you couldn’t
could do rather than what you couldn’t do and if we knew how it was affecting
do and if we knew how it was affecting
do and if we knew how it was affecting you emotionally this condition that’s
you emotionally this condition that’s
you emotionally this condition that’s what we need to know if we have to live
what we need to know if we have to live
what we need to know if we have to live with something and actually you know
with something and actually you know
with something and actually you know this is an approach that’s already in
this is an approach that’s already in
this is an approach that’s already in use we call it being person-centered or
use we call it being person-centered or
use we call it being person-centered or person directive and when we focus on a
person directive and when we focus on a
person directive and when we focus on a person’s condition and the person
person’s condition and the person
person’s condition and the person themselves and we’re paying attention to
themselves and we’re paying attention to
themselves and we’re paying attention to their strengths rather than what’s wrong
their strengths rather than what’s wrong
their strengths rather than what’s wrong with them we call that strength based
with them we call that strength based
with them we call that strength based care and and that we use it with other
care and and that we use it with other
care and and that we use it with other populations right now it’s very
populations right now it’s very
populations right now it’s very effective with adults who are
effective with adults who are
effective with adults who are developmentally disabled but you know
developmentally disabled but you know
developmentally disabled but you know many of us here today also have been
many of us here today also have been
many of us here today also have been using strength based care some of us for
using strength based care some of us for
using strength based care some of us for quite a few decades because strength
quite a few decades because strength
quite a few decades because strength based care is how we raise children so
based care is how we raise children so
based care is how we raise children so think about it you know when you have a
think about it you know when you have a
think about it you know when you have a child you look at your child and you
child you look at your child and you
child you look at your child and you evaluate the child’s cognitive
evaluate the child’s cognitive
evaluate the child’s cognitive development and then you shape the
development and then you shape the
development and then you shape the environment so the child will be safe
environment so the child will be safe
environment so the child will be safe and comfortable and then you pay
and comfortable and then you pay
and comfortable and then you pay attention to the child’s emotional needs
attention to the child’s emotional needs
attention to the child’s emotional needs and you try to meet those needs so if
and you try to meet those needs so if
and you try to meet those needs so if you have a toddler you Institute nap
you have a toddler you Institute nap
you have a toddler you Institute nap time but if you have a teenager
time but if you have a teenager
time but if you have a teenager it’s curfews and so if you have a
it’s curfews and so if you have a
it’s curfews and so if you have a four-year-old we we don’t think the
four-year-old we we don’t think the
four-year-old we we don’t think the four-year-old will live and be
four-year-old will live and be
four-year-old will live and be comfortable and safe in the same
comfortable and safe in the same
comfortable and safe in the same environment of that the
environment of that the
environment of that the fourteen-year-old would so so we’ve been
fourteen-year-old would so so we’ve been
fourteen-year-old would so so we’ve been doing this for centuries with our
doing this for centuries with our
doing this for centuries with our children if that’s the case how come
children if that’s the case how come
children if that’s the case how come we’re failing so badly with their loved
we’re failing so badly with their loved
we’re failing so badly with their loved ones when they develop dementia if you
ones when they develop dementia if you
ones when they develop dementia if you know it’s because it’s exactly the
know it’s because it’s exactly the
know it’s because it’s exactly the opposite it’s counterintuitive to
opposite it’s counterintuitive to
opposite it’s counterintuitive to everything we’ve been doing all their
everything we’ve been doing all their
everything we’ve been doing all their lives children are learning and growing
lives children are learning and growing
lives children are learning and growing and improving every day gaining skills
and improving every day gaining skills
and improving every day gaining skills cognitively but when one of our loved
cognitively but when one of our loved
cognitively but when one of our loved ones develops demented they are not able
ones develops demented they are not able
ones develops demented they are not able to learn they’re not gaining and skills
to learn they’re not gaining and skills
to learn they’re not gaining and skills they’re losing skills and Trust in
they’re losing skills and Trust in
they’re losing skills and Trust in America it’s really hard to not seek
America it’s really hard to not seek
America it’s really hard to not seek solution or improvement or hope but
solution or improvement or hope but
solution or improvement or hope but there’s a different kind of hope and and
there’s a different kind of hope and and
there’s a different kind of hope and and that’s why I’m here today because we can
that’s why I’m here today because we can
that’s why I’m here today because we can do it we can look after people who have
do it we can look after people who have
do it we can look after people who have dementia if we know what their strengths
dementia if we know what their strengths
dementia if we know what their strengths are so here’s their strengths and this
are so here’s their strengths and this
are so here’s their strengths and this is a picture of dementia this is what
is a picture of dementia this is what
is a picture of dementia this is what dementia looked to me looked like to me
dementia looked to me looked like to me
dementia looked to me looked like to me after I’d worked for about eight years
after I’d worked for about eight years
after I’d worked for about eight years with many people who lived alone in
with many people who lived alone in
with many people who lived alone in their own homes even though they had
their own homes even though they had
their own homes even though they had dementia so it doesn’t look medical I
dementia so it doesn’t look medical I
dementia so it doesn’t look medical I haven’t listed the types of dementia
haven’t listed the types of dementia
haven’t listed the types of dementia people can get I don’t have a list there
people can get I don’t have a list there
people can get I don’t have a list there of dementia related behaviors what this
of dementia related behaviors what this
of dementia related behaviors what this is is the set of six skills that every
is is the set of six skills that every
is is the set of six skills that every one of us can use at will with our
one of us can use at will with our
one of us can use at will with our healthy brains and right now while I’m
healthy brains and right now while I’m
healthy brains and right now while I’m talking I’m primarily using my rational
talking I’m primarily using my rational
talking I’m primarily using my rational thinking skills my memory and
thinking skills my memory and
thinking skills my memory and mindfulness the skills on the left-hand
mindfulness the skills on the left-hand
mindfulness the skills on the left-hand side and each of you are primarily doing
side and each of you are primarily doing
side and each of you are primarily doing the same your
the same your
the same your using the skills on the left-hand side
using the skills on the left-hand side
using the skills on the left-hand side and those are the three skills that the
and those are the three skills that the
and those are the three skills that the person who’s experiencing dementia will
person who’s experiencing dementia will
person who’s experiencing dementia will lose but that’s not really bad news if
lose but that’s not really bad news if
lose but that’s not really bad news if they have a companion family somebody
they have a companion family somebody
they have a companion family somebody who cares who can take care of those
who cares who can take care of those
who cares who can take care of those things for them because the really fun
things for them because the really fun
things for them because the really fun stuff is all on the right-hand side
stuff is all on the right-hand side
stuff is all on the right-hand side right intuitive thought intuitive
right intuitive thought intuitive
right intuitive thought intuitive thought is how we access beauty enjoy
thought is how we access beauty enjoy
thought is how we access beauty enjoy nature enjoy music it’s creativity it’s
nature enjoy music it’s creativity it’s
nature enjoy music it’s creativity it’s also how we feel our own feelings and
also how we feel our own feelings and
also how we feel our own feelings and it’s how we interpret and receive the
it’s how we interpret and receive the
it’s how we interpret and receive the feelings of the people around us and
feelings of the people around us and
feelings of the people around us and it’s our experiential selves that part
it’s our experiential selves that part
it’s our experiential selves that part of us that exists right now in the
of us that exists right now in the
of us that exists right now in the moment receiving all kinds of sensory
moment receiving all kinds of sensory
moment receiving all kinds of sensory stimulation information from our five
stimulation information from our five
stimulation information from our five senses that’s what keeps us connected
senses that’s what keeps us connected
senses that’s what keeps us connected and and mindlessness isn’t it lovely
and and mindlessness isn’t it lovely
and and mindlessness isn’t it lovely that we don’t have to think ourselves
that we don’t have to think ourselves
that we don’t have to think ourselves consciously through every task we do
consciously through every task we do
consciously through every task we do every day I can make coffee in my sleep
every day I can make coffee in my sleep
every day I can make coffee in my sleep I do it regularly so the person with
I do it regularly so the person with
I do it regularly so the person with dementia can do the same thing they can
dementia can do the same thing they can
dementia can do the same thing they can use mindlessness skills automatic
use mindlessness skills automatic
use mindlessness skills automatic thinking scripts muscle memory but only
thinking scripts muscle memory but only
thinking scripts muscle memory but only for as long as we don’t move them out of
for as long as we don’t move them out of
for as long as we don’t move them out of their familiar location so example
their familiar location so example
their familiar location so example examples always work best Bob and Anne
examples always work best Bob and Anne
examples always work best Bob and Anne high school sweethearts married for six
high school sweethearts married for six
high school sweethearts married for six decades
Anne was diagnosed five years ago with
Anne was diagnosed five years ago with dementia and Bob is becoming exhausted
dementia and Bob is becoming exhausted
dementia and Bob is becoming exhausted from her dementia related behaviors and
from her dementia related behaviors and
from her dementia related behaviors and the other morning they had to go down to
the other morning they had to go down to
the other morning they had to go down to downtown to a dentist appointment so Bob
downtown to a dentist appointment so Bob
downtown to a dentist appointment so Bob sits and down on the couch he kisses her
sits and down on the couch he kisses her
sits and down on the couch he kisses her on the forehead and he says darlin why
on the forehead and he says darlin why
on the forehead and he says darlin why don’t you put your shoes and socks on
don’t you put your shoes and socks on
don’t you put your shoes and socks on and I’ll go take care of the dog
and I’ll go take care of the dog
and I’ll go take care of the dog and he leaves the room in a minute later
and he leaves the room in a minute later
and he leaves the room in a minute later he comes back and there’s an and sitting
he comes back and there’s an and sitting
he comes back and there’s an and sitting on the couch she has one foot bare one
on the couch she has one foot bare one
on the couch she has one foot bare one shoe on and she’s trying to put a sock
shoe on and she’s trying to put a sock
shoe on and she’s trying to put a sock over the toe of the shoe now Bob feels a
over the toe of the shoe now Bob feels a
over the toe of the shoe now Bob feels a little flash of frustration a little bit
little flash of frustration a little bit
little flash of frustration a little bit of irritation and a little bit of panic
of irritation and a little bit of panic
of irritation and a little bit of panic because they really need to hurry and so
because they really need to hurry and so
because they really need to hurry and so as he comes into the room he says no
as he comes into the room he says no
as he comes into the room he says no honey no you know how to put on shoes
honey no you know how to put on shoes
honey no you know how to put on shoes and socks you’ve been doing it your
and socks you’ve been doing it your
and socks you’ve been doing it your whole life
whole life
whole life socks first socks first and he hurries
socks first socks first and he hurries
socks first socks first and he hurries down the hall to brush his teeth he
down the hall to brush his teeth he
down the hall to brush his teeth he comes back in a few minutes later now
comes back in a few minutes later now
comes back in a few minutes later now Anna’s sitting there holding a sock and
Anna’s sitting there holding a sock and
Anna’s sitting there holding a sock and now he is frustrated and now he is
now he is frustrated and now he is
now he is frustrated and now he is worried because they’ve got to get ready
worried because they’ve got to get ready
worried because they’ve got to get ready before the daughter comes and so he
before the daughter comes and so he
before the daughter comes and so he reaches for the sock and he says fine
reaches for the sock and he says fine
reaches for the sock and he says fine I’ll do it and she reaches for him and
I’ll do it and she reaches for him and
I’ll do it and she reaches for him and she hits him and when the daughter
she hits him and when the daughter
she hits him and when the daughter arrives a few minutes later both parents
arrives a few minutes later both parents
arrives a few minutes later both parents are in tears and Bob is trying to
are in tears and Bob is trying to
are in tears and Bob is trying to restrain and and Anna’s trying to hit
restrain and and Anna’s trying to hit
restrain and and Anna’s trying to hit him and this is what we call combative
him and this is what we call combative
him and this is what we call combative behavior right it’s symptom of dementia
behavior right it’s symptom of dementia
behavior right it’s symptom of dementia and so what happened what did Bob do
and so what happened what did Bob do
and so what happened what did Bob do wrong why did it happen that way
Bob didn’t realize that but he asked and
Bob didn’t realize that but he asked and to do several things that she did not
to do several things that she did not
to do several things that she did not have the ability to do
have the ability to do
have the ability to do she doesn’t have rational thought so she
she doesn’t have rational thought so she
she doesn’t have rational thought so she can’t follow the steps in a process and
can’t follow the steps in a process and
can’t follow the steps in a process and he asked her to do two things at once
he asked her to do two things at once
he asked her to do two things at once shoes and socks and then he gave her
shoes and socks and then he gave her
shoes and socks and then he gave her directions socks first and he asked her
directions socks first and he asked her
directions socks first and he asked her to use her remembering self or memory to
to use her remembering self or memory to
to use her remembering self or memory to recall something she’d done her whole
recall something she’d done her whole
recall something she’d done her whole life and in doing that he put her on the
life and in doing that he put her on the
life and in doing that he put her on the spot and he embarrassed her and that
spot and he embarrassed her and that
spot and he embarrassed her and that never goes really well in a marital
never goes really well in a marital
never goes really well in a marital relationship and the mindlessness tools
relationship and the mindlessness tools
relationship and the mindlessness tools that she probably still had at her
that she probably still had at her
that she probably still had at her disposal if she don’t even give in one
disposal if she don’t even give in one
disposal if she don’t even give in one step in the task went right out the
step in the task went right out the
step in the task went right out the window when that turned into a really
window when that turned into a really
window when that turned into a really negative event in her life
negative event in her life
negative event in her life how could Bob have done it differently
how could Bob have done it differently
how could Bob have done it differently if Bob knew what her disabilities were
if Bob knew what her disabilities were
if Bob knew what her disabilities were but he knew what her strengths were if
but he knew what her strengths were if
but he knew what her strengths were if Bob knew that Ann had fully operational
Bob knew that Ann had fully operational
Bob knew that Ann had fully operational intuitive thought and was picking up
intuitive thought and was picking up
intuitive thought and was picking up every one of his emotions like radar
every one of his emotions like radar
every one of his emotions like radar then he could have been very careful not
then he could have been very careful not
then he could have been very careful not to display or feel his frustration what
to display or feel his frustration what
to display or feel his frustration what if he dealt with the whole thing
if he dealt with the whole thing
if he dealt with the whole thing differently let’s say bob says he ran
differently let’s say bob says he ran
differently let’s say bob says he ran sit down on the couch kisses her on the
sit down on the couch kisses her on the
sit down on the couch kisses her on the forehead and says here honey here’s your
forehead and says here honey here’s your
forehead and says here honey here’s your favorite blue socks I love the way they
favorite blue socks I love the way they
favorite blue socks I love the way they bring out the color in your beautiful
bring out the color in your beautiful
bring out the color in your beautiful blue eyes why don’t you put your socks
blue eyes why don’t you put your socks
blue eyes why don’t you put your socks on and I’ll go put Muffy out and a
on and I’ll go put Muffy out and a
on and I’ll go put Muffy out and a minute later he comes back in and maybe
minute later he comes back in and maybe
minute later he comes back in and maybe she got the socks on maybe she didn’t
she got the socks on maybe she didn’t
she got the socks on maybe she didn’t and he kneels down and he helps her put
and he kneels down and he helps her put
and he kneels down and he helps her put the socks on then he says wonderful
the socks on then he says wonderful
the socks on then he says wonderful darling thanks so much
darling thanks so much
darling thanks so much how about you put your shoes on well I
how about you put your shoes on well I
how about you put your shoes on well I go brush my teeth
go brush my teeth
go brush my teeth well this time nobody got put in the
well this time nobody got put in the
well this time nobody got put in the spot nobody’s been asked to do something
spot nobody’s been asked to do something
spot nobody’s been asked to do something they cannot do and and this time Ann
they cannot do and and this time Ann
they cannot do and and this time Ann feels like she has a partner she feels
feels like she has a partner she feels
feels like she has a partner she feels like she and her husband are working
like she and her husband are working
like she and her husband are working together like they always did and so
together like they always did and so
together like they always did and so this time maybe she did succeed in
this time maybe she did succeed in
this time maybe she did succeed in putting on shoes as a single task but
putting on shoes as a single task but
putting on shoes as a single task but one thing that happened for sure is her
one thing that happened for sure is her
one thing that happened for sure is her experience Hill self continued to
experience Hill self continued to
experience Hill self continued to experience the present in a very
experience the present in a very
experience the present in a very comfortable way she felt loved she felt
comfortable way she felt loved she felt
comfortable way she felt loved she felt safe and you know it doesn’t matter
safe and you know it doesn’t matter
safe and you know it doesn’t matter whether we are children or adults
whether we are children or adults
whether we are children or adults whether we have a disease or we don’t
whether we have a disease or we don’t
whether we have a disease or we don’t have a disease and it doesn’t matter
have a disease and it doesn’t matter
have a disease and it doesn’t matter whether we have dementia or not we all
whether we have dementia or not we all
whether we have dementia or not we all have the same human emotional needs and
have the same human emotional needs and
have the same human emotional needs and when somebody’s experiencing progressive
when somebody’s experiencing progressive
when somebody’s experiencing progressive cognitive impairment yeah those skills
cognitive impairment yeah those skills
cognitive impairment yeah those skills they have at their disposal are changing
they have at their disposal are changing
they have at their disposal are changing they’re going to be using the three on
they’re going to be using the three on
they’re going to be using the three on the right hand side of my table but they
the right hand side of my table but they
the right hand side of my table but they still need to feel secure and they still
still need to feel secure and they still
still need to feel secure and they still need to feel successful in social
need to feel successful in social
need to feel successful in social situations and have a sense of
situations and have a sense of
situations and have a sense of well-being
well-being
well-being in control able to make decisions it
in control able to make decisions it
in control able to make decisions it doesn’t go away when we get dementia so
doesn’t go away when we get dementia so
doesn’t go away when we get dementia so that’s why I’m here today we can do this
that’s why I’m here today we can do this
that’s why I’m here today we can do this we we raise children we’ve been doing
we we raise children we’ve been doing
we we raise children we’ve been doing that for decades centuries entire
that for decades centuries entire
that for decades centuries entire civilizations and we can be kind to
civilizations and we can be kind to
civilizations and we can be kind to people as they get dementia because we
people as they get dementia because we
people as they get dementia because we can we can learn this simple little
can we can learn this simple little
can we can learn this simple little pattern of the skills they retain so
pattern of the skills they retain so
pattern of the skills they retain so thank you and I look forward to having
thank you and I look forward to having
thank you and I look forward to having many families joining in this new way of
many families joining in this new way of
many families joining in this new way of approaching dementia care
approaching dementia care
approaching dementia care [Applause]
”
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