a few weeks ago I was lying in my bed trying to get to sleep and I was running
trying to get to sleep and I was running
trying to get to sleep and I was running through my to-do list in my mind this
through my to-do list in my mind this
through my to-do list in my mind this talk came up was one of my things to do
talk came up was one of my things to do
talk came up was one of my things to do and I suddenly got filled with nerves
and I suddenly got filled with nerves
and I suddenly got filled with nerves and butterflies and actually said got up
and butterflies and actually said got up
and butterflies and actually said got up I started writing this talk at like 1:00
I started writing this talk at like 1:00
I started writing this talk at like 1:00 a.m. I was trying to break down why I
a.m. I was trying to break down why I
a.m. I was trying to break down why I was feeling nervous okay so I was giving
was feeling nervous okay so I was giving
was feeling nervous okay so I was giving a TED talk in under two weeks and I
a TED talk in under two weeks and I
a TED talk in under two weeks and I haven’t written it but you know it can
haven’t written it but you know it can
haven’t written it but you know it can be dealt with it’s here it’s happening I
be dealt with it’s here it’s happening I
be dealt with it’s here it’s happening I also was giving a talk in front of a
also was giving a talk in front of a
also was giving a talk in front of a large group of people but you know
large group of people but you know
large group of people but you know listen to a Beyonce song before you go
listen to a Beyonce song before you go
listen to a Beyonce song before you go on stage and that can also be dealt with
on stage and that can also be dealt with
on stage and that can also be dealt with it wasn’t this there was something else
it wasn’t this there was something else
it wasn’t this there was something else there was a small niggling fear which I
there was a small niggling fear which I
there was a small niggling fear which I had pushed down because I was
had pushed down because I was
had pushed down because I was embarrassed to admit it was because I
embarrassed to admit it was because I
embarrassed to admit it was because I was giving a talk on the subject of
was giving a talk on the subject of
was giving a talk on the subject of everyday sexism feminism that’s what it
everyday sexism feminism that’s what it
everyday sexism feminism that’s what it was I
was I
was I Natasha Waddell a young woman was scared
Natasha Waddell a young woman was scared
Natasha Waddell a young woman was scared to come out here and tell you all that I
to come out here and tell you all that I
to come out here and tell you all that I am a feminist why was I scared of this
am a feminist why was I scared of this
am a feminist why was I scared of this why was I scared of telling you I
why was I scared of telling you I
why was I scared of telling you I believe in the social economic and
believe in the social economic and
believe in the social economic and political equality of the sexes it
political equality of the sexes it
political equality of the sexes it wasn’t out fear of my own safety I’m
wasn’t out fear of my own safety I’m
wasn’t out fear of my own safety I’m lucky enough to live in a society where
lucky enough to live in a society where
lucky enough to live in a society where as a woman I can have an education I can
as a woman I can have an education I can
as a woman I can have an education I can go to university and I can lend my voice
go to university and I can lend my voice
go to university and I can lend my voice to this discussion it was rather a
to this discussion it was rather a
to this discussion it was rather a social fear would people think I was
social fear would people think I was
social fear would people think I was weird would people think I was humorless
weird would people think I was humorless
weird would people think I was humorless we people think I had no sense of fun my
we people think I had no sense of fun my
we people think I had no sense of fun my journey to being on this stage began
journey to being on this stage began
journey to being on this stage began last summer when I picked up a copy of
last summer when I picked up a copy of
last summer when I picked up a copy of Laura Bates’s book everyday sexism it’s
Laura Bates’s book everyday sexism it’s
Laura Bates’s book everyday sexism it’s been a worldwide hit and I think it has
been a worldwide hit and I think it has
been a worldwide hit and I think it has been a hit for the same reasons that I
been a hit for the same reasons that I
been a hit for the same reasons that I really enjoyed it I think a lot of women
really enjoyed it I think a lot of women
really enjoyed it I think a lot of women found that when they were reading it
found that when they were reading it
found that when they were reading it things that they have ignored pushed
things that they have ignored pushed
things that they have ignored pushed down brushed off were finally being
down brushed off were finally being
down brushed off were finally being vocalized and I wasn’t the only one that
vocalized and I wasn’t the only one that
vocalized and I wasn’t the only one that felt like this I want to just explain
felt like this I want to just explain
felt like this I want to just explain what I mean by everyday sexism and I
what I mean by everyday sexism and I
what I mean by everyday sexism and I find a helpful way to do this is to tell
find a helpful way to do this is to tell
find a helpful way to do this is to tell you about my night out the other night
you about my night out the other night
you about my night out the other night and to give you two versions of the same
and to give you two versions of the same
and to give you two versions of the same story so there’s the first version which
story so there’s the first version which
story so there’s the first version which is that I got dressed
is that I got dressed
is that I got dressed walk to Tesco got my alcohol went to my
walk to Tesco got my alcohol went to my
walk to Tesco got my alcohol went to my pre-drinks went out danced and then went
pre-drinks went out danced and then went
pre-drinks went out danced and then went home but there’s another way of telling
home but there’s another way of telling
home but there’s another way of telling the same story I get dressed but not too
the same story I get dressed but not too
the same story I get dressed but not too dressed up because I don’t want my
dressed up because I don’t want my
dressed up because I don’t want my outfit to be an invitation I walk to
outfit to be an invitation I walk to
outfit to be an invitation I walk to Tesco and wolf-whistles on the way there
Tesco and wolf-whistles on the way there
Tesco and wolf-whistles on the way there and when I’m in the aisle to have to
and when I’m in the aisle to have to
and when I’m in the aisle to have to avoid certain ones because wait is that
avoid certain ones because wait is that
avoid certain ones because wait is that guy following me I walk to my pries and
guy following me I walk to my pries and
guy following me I walk to my pries and have to cross the road on the way there
have to cross the road on the way there
have to cross the road on the way there because as a group of guys walking
because as a group of guys walking
because as a group of guys walking towards me shouting and leering I go out
towards me shouting and leering I go out
towards me shouting and leering I go out and have to avoid drunken sexual
and have to avoid drunken sexual
and have to avoid drunken sexual advances and I walk home having had to
advances and I walk home having had to
advances and I walk home having had to sober up so I can hear what the
sober up so I can hear what the
sober up so I can hear what the footsteps are following or passing now
footsteps are following or passing now
footsteps are following or passing now why wouldn’t I tell you that version of
why wouldn’t I tell you that version of
why wouldn’t I tell you that version of the story recently I found if I tried to
the story recently I found if I tried to
the story recently I found if I tried to talk about everyday sexism in feminism I
talk about everyday sexism in feminism I
talk about everyday sexism in feminism I met with one of a few reactions either
met with one of a few reactions either
met with one of a few reactions either I’m ignored people become bored and
I’m ignored people become bored and
I’m ignored people become bored and their eyes glaze over or sometimes I’m
their eyes glaze over or sometimes I’m
their eyes glaze over or sometimes I’m mocked and embarrassed for what I
mocked and embarrassed for what I
mocked and embarrassed for what I believe and other times and actually
believe and other times and actually
believe and other times and actually this is the most common thing other
this is the most common thing other
this is the most common thing other times people act as if what I’ve just
times people act as if what I’ve just
times people act as if what I’ve just told them is normal they active these
told them is normal they active these
told them is normal they active these minor adjustments that I have to make
minor adjustments that I have to make
minor adjustments that I have to make every day in my life mean nothing
every day in my life mean nothing
every day in my life mean nothing because they’re tiny compared to bigger
because they’re tiny compared to bigger
because they’re tiny compared to bigger things at stake why does it matter if I
things at stake why does it matter if I
things at stake why does it matter if I have to wear jeans rather than a skirt
have to wear jeans rather than a skirt
have to wear jeans rather than a skirt on a night out why does it matter that I
on a night out why does it matter that I
on a night out why does it matter that I have to turn down my music so I can hear
have to turn down my music so I can hear
have to turn down my music so I can hear footsteps why does it matter that I have
footsteps why does it matter that I have
footsteps why does it matter that I have to hold keys between my fists when I’m
to hold keys between my fists when I’m
to hold keys between my fists when I’m walking home why is that normal maybe
walking home why is that normal maybe
walking home why is that normal maybe it’s because it is maybe it’s because
it’s because it is maybe it’s because
it’s because it is maybe it’s because that’s being a girl or maybe it’s
that’s being a girl or maybe it’s
that’s being a girl or maybe it’s because we’re taught that it’s normal
because we’re taught that it’s normal
because we’re taught that it’s normal every time one of my female friends
every time one of my female friends
every time one of my female friends tells me a story about everyday sexism
tells me a story about everyday sexism
tells me a story about everyday sexism they end it by saying oh but that’s just
they end it by saying oh but that’s just
they end it by saying oh but that’s just normal we can’t do anything about it
normal we can’t do anything about it
normal we can’t do anything about it there’s no point complaining because
there’s no point complaining because
there’s no point complaining because it’s just normal it’s minor actually the
it’s just normal it’s minor actually the
it’s just normal it’s minor actually the other night my friend was at an event
other night my friend was at an event
other night my friend was at an event and this guy came up to her and he
and this guy came up to her and he
and this guy came up to her and he totally seriously asked her if he could
totally seriously asked her if he could
totally seriously asked her if he could follow her around for the whole evening
follow her around for the whole evening
follow her around for the whole evening she was really unnerved and quite
she was really unnerved and quite
she was really unnerved and quite shocked by this and she actually asked
shocked by this and she actually asked
shocked by this and she actually asked me to include this in my talk but at the
me to include this in my talk but at the
me to include this in my talk but at the time she’d had to act as if it was a
time she’d had to act as if it was a
time she’d had to act as if it was a normal if irritating part of her night I
normal if irritating part of her night I
normal if irritating part of her night I first encountered this when I was 14 and
first encountered this when I was 14 and
first encountered this when I was 14 and I was walking home from school in my
I was walking home from school in my
I was walking home from school in my uniform and this guy shouted at me
uniform and this guy shouted at me
uniform and this guy shouted at me there’s males adult stranger shouted at
there’s males adult stranger shouted at
there’s males adult stranger shouted at me from across the street put a smile on
me from across the street put a smile on
me from across the street put a smile on that pretty face
that pretty face
that pretty face it sounds so cringe to say what he said
it sounds so cringe to say what he said
it sounds so cringe to say what he said out loud but rather than smiling I put
out loud but rather than smiling I put
out loud but rather than smiling I put my head down and walked a bit quicker
my head down and walked a bit quicker
my head down and walked a bit quicker than before I got home and I told my
than before I got home and I told my
than before I got home and I told my sister about this encounter and she told
sister about this encounter and she told
sister about this encounter and she told me to send it in to holla back holla
me to send it in to holla back holla
me to send it in to holla back holla back is a movement that encourages women
back is a movement that encourages women
back is a movement that encourages women to holler back at these men by
to holler back at these men by
to holler back at these men by submitting their stories online and they
submitting their stories online and they
submitting their stories online and they recently released a statistic saying by
recently released a statistic saying by
recently released a statistic saying by the age of 14 67% of young women have
the age of 14 67% of young women have
the age of 14 67% of young women have experienced street harassment 14 I
experienced street harassment 14 I
experienced street harassment 14 I hadn’t even picked my GCSEs and actually
hadn’t even picked my GCSEs and actually
hadn’t even picked my GCSEs and actually there was this little jingle going
there was this little jingle going
there was this little jingle going around school at the time and you might
around school at the time and you might
around school at the time and you might recognize this if you went to school in
recognize this if you went to school in
recognize this if you went to school in the mid naughties it went something like
the mid naughties it went something like
the mid naughties it went something like don’t touch me there that’s my private
don’t touch me there that’s my private
don’t touch me there that’s my private square but I was starting to understand
square but I was starting to understand
square but I was starting to understand that because I was a woman
that because I was a woman
that because I was a woman my personal square was up for grabs
my personal square was up for grabs
my personal square was up for grabs because I was a woman I was suddenly
because I was a woman I was suddenly
because I was a woman I was suddenly fairplay for comments jokes and playful
fairplay for comments jokes and playful
fairplay for comments jokes and playful teasing that I just didn’t find funny
teasing that I just didn’t find funny
teasing that I just didn’t find funny and for the last six years this has
and for the last six years this has
and for the last six years this has continued I’ve learned to ignore it I’ve
continued I’ve learned to ignore it I’ve
continued I’ve learned to ignore it I’ve learned to get on with my life but it
learned to get on with my life but it
learned to get on with my life but it hasn’t stopped it’s always been there
hasn’t stopped it’s always been there
hasn’t stopped it’s always been there but sometimes it’s easier not to kick up
but sometimes it’s easier not to kick up
but sometimes it’s easier not to kick up a fuss for example I was up reading
a fuss for example I was up reading
a fuss for example I was up reading slasher making it’s on I could drink a
slasher making it’s on I could drink a
slasher making it’s on I could drink a lot haha I was up readings last year and
lot haha I was up readings last year and
lot haha I was up readings last year and it was me and two of my other female
it was me and two of my other female
it was me and two of my other female friends and several of our guy friends
friends and several of our guy friends
friends and several of our guy friends we sat it and we chatted in we ate and
we sat it and we chatted in we ate and
we sat it and we chatted in we ate and we talked about things I Sport deadlines
we talked about things I Sport deadlines
we talked about things I Sport deadlines and we were going to go to the beacon or
and we were going to go to the beacon or
and we were going to go to the beacon or the main bar and then suddenly one of
the main bar and then suddenly one of
the main bar and then suddenly one of the guys stopped he looked me and my
the guys stopped he looked me and my
the guys stopped he looked me and my friend up and down and while licking the
friend up and down and while licking the
friend up and down and while licking the last orange dust off his monster Munchie
last orange dust off his monster Munchie
last orange dust off his monster Munchie fingers he posed this question to the
fingers he posed this question to the
fingers he posed this question to the females of the room to the guides of the
females of the room to the guides of the
females of the room to the guides of the run or three walls of the room who would
run or three walls of the room who would
run or three walls of the room who would you rather shag her or her pointing to
you rather shag her or her pointing to
you rather shag her or her pointing to me and my friend the third girl having
me and my friend the third girl having
me and my friend the third girl having been disqualified whatever competition
been disqualified whatever competition
been disqualified whatever competition this was because her boyfriend was right
this was because her boyfriend was right
this was because her boyfriend was right next to her I was overcome with three
next to her I was overcome with three
next to her I was overcome with three feelings when I thought when I was asked
feelings when I thought when I was asked
feelings when I thought when I was asked this question firstly I was angry I was
this question firstly I was angry I was
this question firstly I was angry I was angry that the sky felt he could make a
angry that the sky felt he could make a
angry that the sky felt he could make a comment like that directly to my face
comment like that directly to my face
comment like that directly to my face and at University in 2016 I was still
and at University in 2016 I was still
and at University in 2016 I was still being patronized like this but secondly
being patronized like this but secondly
being patronized like this but secondly I had these feelings of embarrassment
I had these feelings of embarrassment
I had these feelings of embarrassment the self-consciousness like did I look
the self-consciousness like did I look
the self-consciousness like did I look hot like was i shaggable like what if he
hot like was i shaggable like what if he
hot like was i shaggable like what if he didn’t pick me I hope he picks me like
didn’t pick me I hope he picks me like
didn’t pick me I hope he picks me like God is no one wanna shine me but lastly
God is no one wanna shine me but lastly
God is no one wanna shine me but lastly I felt disappointed I was disappointed
I felt disappointed I was disappointed
I felt disappointed I was disappointed that I’d caught myself thinking those
that I’d caught myself thinking those
that I’d caught myself thinking those thoughts I was disappointed in the
thoughts I was disappointed in the
thoughts I was disappointed in the situation I was disappointed in him and
situation I was disappointed in him and
situation I was disappointed in him and most importantly and most depressingly I
most importantly and most depressingly I
most importantly and most depressingly I was disappointed in myself I knew I was
was disappointed in myself I knew I was
was disappointed in myself I knew I was worth more than my shag ability of
worth more than my shag ability of
worth more than my shag ability of course I horse but the worst part was I
course I horse but the worst part was I
course I horse but the worst part was I had no outlet for my rage if I’d said
had no outlet for my rage if I’d said
had no outlet for my rage if I’d said something I would have ruined the fun I
something I would have ruined the fun I
something I would have ruined the fun I would have been a killjoy so I was left
would have been a killjoy so I was left
would have been a killjoy so I was left with one option to be silent I pushed
with one option to be silent I pushed
with one option to be silent I pushed down all my intrinsically f– it was
down all my intrinsically f– it was
down all my intrinsically f– it was boys being boys it was locker room chat
boys being boys it was locker room chat
boys being boys it was locker room chat they didn’t mean it it was just a joke
they didn’t mean it it was just a joke
they didn’t mean it it was just a joke it was normal I actually recounted this
it was normal I actually recounted this
it was normal I actually recounted this story to a few of my female friends
story to a few of my female friends
story to a few of my female friends recently and I got quite angry and riled
recently and I got quite angry and riled
recently and I got quite angry and riled and I was saying it but what surprised
and I was saying it but what surprised
and I was saying it but what surprised me was their reaction they didn’t
me was their reaction they didn’t
me was their reaction they didn’t encourage me to go and stand up to the
encourage me to go and stand up to the
encourage me to go and stand up to the guy they told me to be quiet they told
guy they told me to be quiet they told
guy they told me to be quiet they told me to calm down they told me to be
me to calm down they told me to be
me to calm down they told me to be silent silence silence to avoid
silent silence silence to avoid
silent silence silence to avoid embarrassment silence to avoid kicking
embarrassment silence to avoid kicking
embarrassment silence to avoid kicking up a fuss silence to prevent anything
up a fuss silence to prevent anything
up a fuss silence to prevent anything from changing and I think it’s time to
from changing and I think it’s time to
from changing and I think it’s time to break this silence and I think it’s time
break this silence and I think it’s time
break this silence and I think it’s time to end this crippling fear of
to end this crippling fear of
to end this crippling fear of embarrassment but it’s not only for
embarrassment but it’s not only for
embarrassment but it’s not only for embarrassment that stops people from
embarrassment that stops people from
embarrassment that stops people from talking about everyday sexism there’s
talking about everyday sexism there’s
talking about everyday sexism there’s also this idea that if you don’t laugh
also this idea that if you don’t laugh
also this idea that if you don’t laugh along with everyday sexism you suddenly
along with everyday sexism you suddenly
along with everyday sexism you suddenly become puritanical unsexy boring or not
become puritanical unsexy boring or not
become puritanical unsexy boring or not worth an invite to a party actually the
worth an invite to a party actually the
worth an invite to a party actually the other night this guy specifically told
other night this guy specifically told
other night this guy specifically told me that he wasn’t going to get with me
me that he wasn’t going to get with me
me that he wasn’t going to get with me because I was a feminist as if he might
because I was a feminist as if he might
because I was a feminist as if he might catch it off me I mean it’s a belief in
catch it off me I mean it’s a belief in
catch it off me I mean it’s a belief in equality it’s not a disease you know
equality it’s not a disease you know
equality it’s not a disease you know when people challenge the established
when people challenge the established
when people challenge the established order it pushes people out of their
order it pushes people out of their
order it pushes people out of their comfort zone and it scares people I mean
comfort zone and it scares people I mean
comfort zone and it scares people I mean if you ever want someone to stop hitting
if you ever want someone to stop hitting
if you ever want someone to stop hitting on you in a bar tell them you’re a
on you in a bar tell them you’re a
on you in a bar tell them you’re a feminist I think he’ll run for the hills
feminist I think he’ll run for the hills
feminist I think he’ll run for the hills but perhaps university is partly to
but perhaps university is partly to
but perhaps university is partly to blame for this we’re all young and we’re
blame for this we’re all young and we’re
blame for this we’re all young and we’re all trying to fit in and no one wants to
all trying to fit in and no one wants to
all trying to fit in and no one wants to not be in on the banter or out of the
not be in on the banter or out of the
not be in on the banter or out of the joke a lot of UK universities actually
joke a lot of UK universities actually
joke a lot of UK universities actually there exist these all-male drinking
there exist these all-male drinking
there exist these all-male drinking clubs and ask any student at any UK
clubs and ask any student at any UK
clubs and ask any student at any UK University and they will have a story to
University and they will have a story to
University and they will have a story to tell you that might be a bit similar to
tell you that might be a bit similar to
tell you that might be a bit similar to this one that the guys invite girls as
this one that the guys invite girls as
this one that the guys invite girls as their dates to dinners and as the girls
their dates to dinners and as the girls
their dates to dinners and as the girls walk in they’re judged on their
walk in they’re judged on their
walk in they’re judged on their attractiveness and if one of the some of
attractiveness and if one of the some of
attractiveness and if one of the some of the male members don’t think one of the
the male members don’t think one of the
the male members don’t think one of the girls is hot enough to be there the ugly
girls is hot enough to be there the ugly
girls is hot enough to be there the ugly girls date Husted down his bottle of
girls date Husted down his bottle of
girls date Husted down his bottle of wine
wine
wine this doesn’t made explicit but I think
this doesn’t made explicit but I think
this doesn’t made explicit but I think she’ll know why her date is a bit
she’ll know why her date is a bit
she’ll know why her date is a bit drunker than everyone else’s but maybe
drunker than everyone else’s but maybe
drunker than everyone else’s but maybe University is actually a positive place
University is actually a positive place
University is actually a positive place to explore this stuff I actually found
to explore this stuff I actually found
to explore this stuff I actually found that my sort of feminist awakening
that my sort of feminist awakening
that my sort of feminist awakening happened when I got to university and I
happened when I got to university and I
happened when I got to university and I started challenging everyday sexism I’ve
started challenging everyday sexism I’ve
started challenging everyday sexism I’ve been it of all-girls school my whole
been it of all-girls school my whole
been it of all-girls school my whole life and I was always taught I was
life and I was always taught I was
life and I was always taught I was valuable but I was equal but I could say
valuable but I was equal but I could say
valuable but I was equal but I could say and do whatever I wanted whenever I
and do whatever I wanted whenever I
and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted I could never have imagined that
wanted I could never have imagined that
wanted I could never have imagined that my gender would make me a joke and when
my gender would make me a joke and when
my gender would make me a joke and when I discovered this culture of women
I discovered this culture of women
I discovered this culture of women constantly being the butt of people’s
constantly being the butt of people’s
constantly being the butt of people’s jokes I was shocked and I was even more
jokes I was shocked and I was even more
jokes I was shocked and I was even more shocked to find out that it is
shocked to find out that it is
shocked to find out that it is constantly excused as being harmless
constantly excused as being harmless
constantly excused as being harmless laddish banter but how harmless is this
laddish banter but how harmless is this
laddish banter but how harmless is this there was a study done in 2015 that
there was a study done in 2015 that
there was a study done in 2015 that found that one in three female students
found that one in three female students
found that one in three female students are sexually assaulted on their own
are sexually assaulted on their own
are sexually assaulted on their own campus during their time at university I
campus during their time at university I
campus during their time at university I mean is it too much of a logical leap to
mean is it too much of a logical leap to
mean is it too much of a logical leap to suggest that us ignoring and being
suggest that us ignoring and being
suggest that us ignoring and being silent about these small acts of
silent about these small acts of
silent about these small acts of everyday sexism is actually feeding this
everyday sexism is actually feeding this
everyday sexism is actually feeding this more sinister culture where sexual
more sinister culture where sexual
more sinister culture where sexual harassment and assault goes all too
harassment and assault goes all too
harassment and assault goes all too frequently unreported everyday sexism is
frequently unreported everyday sexism is
frequently unreported everyday sexism is not trivial it is a symbol of a more
not trivial it is a symbol of a more
not trivial it is a symbol of a more toxic culture a culture which forces
toxic culture a culture which forces
toxic culture a culture which forces to be silent about the small things and
to be silent about the small things and
to be silent about the small things and who’s to say that we won’t be silent
who’s to say that we won’t be silent
who’s to say that we won’t be silent about the big ones – I think it’s time
about the big ones – I think it’s time
about the big ones – I think it’s time for a new conversation to begin to break
for a new conversation to begin to break
for a new conversation to begin to break this silence and to have the
this silence and to have the
this silence and to have the conversation which is not drowned out
conversation which is not drowned out
conversation which is not drowned out this breakthrough was already happening
this breakthrough was already happening
this breakthrough was already happening the feminist society it’s in Andrews
the feminist society it’s in Andrews
the feminist society it’s in Andrews where these conversations happen
where these conversations happen
where these conversations happen regularly is thriving and Laura Bates’s
regularly is thriving and Laura Bates’s
regularly is thriving and Laura Bates’s everyday sexism project has provided an
everyday sexism project has provided an
everyday sexism project has provided an outlet for over 100,000 women to give
outlet for over 100,000 women to give
outlet for over 100,000 women to give entries and stories about acts of
entries and stories about acts of
entries and stories about acts of everyday sexism and you know a smaller
everyday sexism and you know a smaller
everyday sexism and you know a smaller level at the the TEDx launch back in
level at the the TEDx launch back in
level at the the TEDx launch back in November I gave a short version of this
November I gave a short version of this
November I gave a short version of this talk and after it my friend’s boyfriend
talk and after it my friend’s boyfriend
talk and after it my friend’s boyfriend turned to her and he said have you ever
turned to her and he said have you ever
turned to her and he said have you ever experienced this when she responded
experienced this when she responded
experienced this when she responded saying um yes every single day he was
saying um yes every single day he was
saying um yes every single day he was shocked and appalled and he’s changed
shocked and appalled and he’s changed
shocked and appalled and he’s changed his actions and responses since it’s not
his actions and responses since it’s not
his actions and responses since it’s not called everyday sexism for nothing it’s
called everyday sexism for nothing it’s
called everyday sexism for nothing it’s relentless it’s tiring and it’s
relentless it’s tiring and it’s
relentless it’s tiring and it’s frustrating to think that you are worth
frustrating to think that you are worth
frustrating to think that you are worth less because of your gender there is a
less because of your gender there is a
less because of your gender there is a conversation there but this is an
conversation there but this is an
conversation there but this is an opportunity for a new beginning there is
opportunity for a new beginning there is
opportunity for a new beginning there is awareness but there is more to be done
awareness but there is more to be done
awareness but there is more to be done there are still no feminist studies
there are still no feminist studies
there are still no feminist studies available at San Andrews and none of the
available at San Andrews and none of the
available at San Andrews and none of the guys who I’ve mentioned in any of my
guys who I’ve mentioned in any of my
guys who I’ve mentioned in any of my stories are sitting here today listening
stories are sitting here today listening
stories are sitting here today listening to this there’s this quote by the actor
to this there’s this quote by the actor
to this there’s this quote by the actor Lily Tomlin and I think it sums this up
Lily Tomlin and I think it sums this up
Lily Tomlin and I think it sums this up quite well she says that I always
quite well she says that I always
quite well she says that I always thought that somebody should do
thought that somebody should do
thought that somebody should do something about that then I realized I
something about that then I realized I
something about that then I realized I am somebody everyone has the opportunity
am somebody everyone has the opportunity
am somebody everyone has the opportunity to spread this message I was as
to spread this message I was as
to spread this message I was as mentioned in the introduction me and my
mentioned in the introduction me and my
mentioned in the introduction me and my friend recently started a publication
friend recently started a publication
friend recently started a publication called lips magazine it’s an online
called lips magazine it’s an online
called lips magazine it’s an online publication and it’s to encourage women
publication and it’s to encourage women
publication and it’s to encourage women to talk about these experiences everyday
to talk about these experiences everyday
to talk about these experiences everyday sexism and generally sort of talk about
sexism and generally sort of talk about
sexism and generally sort of talk about what it’s like being a young woman at
what it’s like being a young woman at
what it’s like being a young woman at university today it’s successful but
university today it’s successful but
university today it’s successful but it’s very difficult to get people
it’s very difficult to get people
it’s very difficult to get people talking about this stuff this is why
talking about this stuff this is why
talking about this stuff this is why this talk is necessary because we need
this talk is necessary because we need
this talk is necessary because we need to get a conversation started and
to get a conversation started and
to get a conversation started and sometimes these conversations have
sometimes these conversations have
sometimes these conversations have unusual outcomes I was walking home from
unusual outcomes I was walking home from
unusual outcomes I was walking home from another night out kind of mom and dad
another night out kind of mom and dad
another night out kind of mom and dad sorry I and I bumped into this guy who
sorry I and I bumped into this guy who
sorry I and I bumped into this guy who was on his way home from a rugby social
was on his way home from a rugby social
was on his way home from a rugby social and as you can imagine from a
and as you can imagine from a
and as you can imagine from a conversation at 2:00 a.m. in the middle
conversation at 2:00 a.m. in the middle
conversation at 2:00 a.m. in the middle of the street we got to the profound
of the street we got to the profound
of the street we got to the profound quickly we ended up talking about
quickly we ended up talking about
quickly we ended up talking about everyday sexism and it took him about
everyday sexism and it took him about
everyday sexism and it took him about ten minutes of me convincing him that
ten minutes of me convincing him that
ten minutes of me convincing him that none of his friends were going to hear
none of his friends were going to hear
none of his friends were going to hear and that no one was behind him and while
and that no one was behind him and while
and that no one was behind him and while he was still turning his head to check
he was still turning his head to check
he was still turning his head to check he finally came out with the words yeah
he finally came out with the words yeah
he finally came out with the words yeah I guess I am a feminist actually I
I guess I am a feminist actually I
I guess I am a feminist actually I strongly believe that everyone can
strongly believe that everyone can
strongly believe that everyone can embrace this realization this is not a
embrace this realization this is not a
embrace this realization this is not a blame game it’s a call to the students
blame game it’s a call to the students
blame game it’s a call to the students of San Andres to start a conversation
of San Andres to start a conversation
of San Andres to start a conversation that moves away from viewing everyday
that moves away from viewing everyday
that moves away from viewing everyday sexism with a suspicious and an
sexism with a suspicious and an
sexism with a suspicious and an aggressive view and make it about unity
aggressive view and make it about unity
aggressive view and make it about unity and equality
and equality
and equality I was nervous about coming up here and
I was nervous about coming up here and
I was nervous about coming up here and giving this talk but if it means that at
giving this talk but if it means that at
giving this talk but if it means that at least one of you walks out of this room
least one of you walks out of this room
least one of you walks out of this room feeling more empowered to talk about
feeling more empowered to talk about
feeling more empowered to talk about sexism than you did when you walked in
sexism than you did when you walked in
sexism than you did when you walked in it was definitely worth it and I
it was definitely worth it and I
it was definitely worth it and I actually have a little three step guide
actually have a little three step guide
actually have a little three step guide to help you on this journey
to help you on this journey
to help you on this journey firstly notice it notice the cat calls
firstly notice it notice the cat calls
firstly notice it notice the cat calls notice the wolf whistles and notice when
notice the wolf whistles and notice when
notice the wolf whistles and notice when the jokes stopped being funny
the jokes stopped being funny
the jokes stopped being funny second up stand and don’t collude with
second up stand and don’t collude with
second up stand and don’t collude with the idea that it’s normal and thirdly
the idea that it’s normal and thirdly
the idea that it’s normal and thirdly discuss it talk about it have a chat
discuss it talk about it have a chat
discuss it talk about it have a chat about it whenever you get the chance
about it whenever you get the chance
about it whenever you get the chance because I’m interested in ending
because I’m interested in ending
because I’m interested in ending everyday sexism and I’m passionate about
everyday sexism and I’m passionate about
everyday sexism and I’m passionate about getting young people talking about it
getting young people talking about it
getting young people talking about it it’s time to break the silence and have
it’s time to break the silence and have
it’s time to break the silence and have a new beginning and a new conversation
a new beginning and a new conversation
a new beginning and a new conversation because your personal square is not up
because your personal square is not up
because your personal square is not up for grabs
for grabs
for grabs thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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