hi everyone into my talk they take us places we want to go and sometimes
places we want to go and sometimes
places we want to go and sometimes places we don’t they form an integrity
places we don’t they form an integrity
places we don’t they form an integrity part of our lives and environment and
part of our lives and environment and
part of our lives and environment and represent a clear link between our past
represent a clear link between our past
represent a clear link between our past present and future however one thing
present and future however one thing
present and future however one thing that we can all agree on is that they
that we can all agree on is that they
that we can all agree on is that they connect cities and people from different
connect cities and people from different
connect cities and people from different backgrounds together
backgrounds together
backgrounds together one could say bridges are a key
one could say bridges are a key
one could say bridges are a key diversity and inclusion some people burn
diversity and inclusion some people burn
diversity and inclusion some people burn them while others build them I sit
them while others build them I sit
them while others build them I sit firmly on the latter clamp I can answer
firmly on the latter clamp I can answer
firmly on the latter clamp I can answer that in one simple word passion so what
that in one simple word passion so what
that in one simple word passion so what is my passion well I’m going to talk you
is my passion well I’m going to talk you
is my passion well I’m going to talk you through take you through my personal
through take you through my personal
through take you through my personal journey and show you how I’m trying to
journey and show you how I’m trying to
journey and show you how I’m trying to move the dialogue in a positive manner
move the dialogue in a positive manner
move the dialogue in a positive manner by building sorry by bridging the
by building sorry by bridging the
by building sorry by bridging the generation gap in the South Asian
generation gap in the South Asian
generation gap in the South Asian community six years ago I embarked on a
community six years ago I embarked on a
community six years ago I embarked on a journey to writing about mine and my
journey to writing about mine and my
journey to writing about mine and my mother’s real-life experience of dealing
mother’s real-life experience of dealing
mother’s real-life experience of dealing with trials and tribulations of having
with trials and tribulations of having
with trials and tribulations of having an arranged marriage through two
an arranged marriage through two
an arranged marriage through two becoming divorces in the Punjabi
becoming divorces in the Punjabi
becoming divorces in the Punjabi community this in itself was a huge
community this in itself was a huge
community this in itself was a huge challenge due to the nature of what I
challenge due to the nature of what I
challenge due to the nature of what I was going to cover but another challenge
was going to cover but another challenge
was going to cover but another challenge was that I also suffer from dyslexia and
was that I also suffer from dyslexia and
was that I also suffer from dyslexia and at the age of 22 I was diagnosed with
at the age of 22 I was diagnosed with
at the age of 22 I was diagnosed with the reading capability of a
the reading capability of a
the reading capability of a seven-year-old and at the age of 29
seven-year-old and at the age of 29
seven-year-old and at the age of 29 I gained a C grade GCSE English to show
I gained a C grade GCSE English to show
I gained a C grade GCSE English to show my then matrimony family that I could
my then matrimony family that I could
my then matrimony family that I could achieve this as they always put my
achieve this as they always put my
achieve this as they always put my confidence down reminding me of my
confidence down reminding me of my
confidence down reminding me of my dyslexia I’m proud to be standing up
dyslexia I’m proud to be standing up
dyslexia I’m proud to be standing up here today speaking out TEDx experience
here today speaking out TEDx experience
here today speaking out TEDx experience sorry TEDx talk and I hope that this
sorry TEDx talk and I hope that this
sorry TEDx talk and I hope that this inspires other women do not let anyone
inspires other women do not let anyone
inspires other women do not let anyone ever tell you that you cannot follow
ever tell you that you cannot follow
ever tell you that you cannot follow your dreams and keep focused and believe
your dreams and keep focused and believe
your dreams and keep focused and believe in yourself build bridges with people
in yourself build bridges with people
in yourself build bridges with people who have a positive vibe and believe in
who have a positive vibe and believe in
who have a positive vibe and believe in you I want to read a few lines from my
you I want to read a few lines from my
you I want to read a few lines from my own life experience and hope you
own life experience and hope you
own life experience and hope you understand and picture what life was
understand and picture what life was
understand and picture what life was like
like
like and why I’m so passionate about
and why I’m so passionate about
and why I’m so passionate about encouraging you all to carry on building
encouraging you all to carry on building
encouraging you all to carry on building bridges both inside and outside of your
bridges both inside and outside of your
bridges both inside and outside of your representative communities gender
representative communities gender
representative communities gender equality after my younger sister was
equality after my younger sister was
equality after my younger sister was born three years later no one from my
born three years later no one from my
born three years later no one from my father’s side of the family of the man
father’s side of the family of the man
father’s side of the family of the man Orinda aunty came to visit us when my
Orinda aunty came to visit us when my
Orinda aunty came to visit us when my brother was born there wasn’t even
brother was born there wasn’t even
brother was born there wasn’t even enough space in the maternity ward
enough space in the maternity ward
enough space in the maternity ward domestic violence as a child I used to
domestic violence as a child I used to
domestic violence as a child I used to count each step up and down 13 mother
count each step up and down 13 mother
count each step up and down 13 mother hit every single one of them I never
hit every single one of them I never
hit every single one of them I never counted the steps again alcohol abuse
counted the steps again alcohol abuse
counted the steps again alcohol abuse there was no way we could contain the
there was no way we could contain the
there was no way we could contain the rage of this man this stranger our
rage of this man this stranger our
rage of this man this stranger our father we were left holding the Tata of
father we were left holding the Tata of
father we were left holding the Tata of his sweater
his sweater
his sweater leaded shirt which wreaked of Bacardi
arranged marriage
arranged marriage first comes arranged marriage then comes
first comes arranged marriage then comes
first comes arranged marriage then comes love my parents had an arranged marriage
love my parents had an arranged marriage
love my parents had an arranged marriage as did my grandparents and
as did my grandparents and
as did my grandparents and great-grandparents it’s part of parcel
great-grandparents it’s part of parcel
great-grandparents it’s part of parcel of life in my culture dairy abuse the
of life in my culture dairy abuse the
of life in my culture dairy abuse the modern-day dairy lovers I thought the
modern-day dairy lovers I thought the
modern-day dairy lovers I thought the tradition of dairy had gone out the
tradition of dairy had gone out the
tradition of dairy had gone out the window but not in this family’s case
window but not in this family’s case
window but not in this family’s case they wanted to squeeze as much as they
they wanted to squeeze as much as they
they wanted to squeeze as much as they could out of my mother and having almost
could out of my mother and having almost
could out of my mother and having almost double the size of the wedding and
double the size of the wedding and
double the size of the wedding and having the nerve to ask for gold
having the nerve to ask for gold
having the nerve to ask for gold abortion someone I loved was never born
abortion someone I loved was never born
abortion someone I loved was never born abortion hurts like emotionally like how
abortion hurts like emotionally like how
abortion hurts like emotionally like how counselors and therapies don’t work if
counselors and therapies don’t work if
counselors and therapies don’t work if you regret it you will always regret it
you regret it you will always regret it
you regret it you will always regret it I openly discuss issues surrounding
I openly discuss issues surrounding
I openly discuss issues surrounding honour based violence the difference
honour based violence the difference
honour based violence the difference between forced marriage arranged
between forced marriage arranged
between forced marriage arranged marriage dairy abuse domestic violence
marriage dairy abuse domestic violence
marriage dairy abuse domestic violence abortion and gender equality in a
abortion and gender equality in a
abortion and gender equality in a community which typically chooses to
community which typically chooses to
community which typically chooses to remain silent on many of these important
remain silent on many of these important
remain silent on many of these important topics by writing in such a can dish and
topics by writing in such a can dish and
topics by writing in such a can dish and open manner about the hardship that I
open manner about the hardship that I
open manner about the hardship that I have been through my writing can
have been through my writing can
have been through my writing can hopefully build bridges with the younger
hopefully build bridges with the younger
hopefully build bridges with the younger and
and
and older generation so that we come so that
older generation so that we come so that
older generation so that we come so that we can both understand the Harshit that
we can both understand the Harshit that
we can both understand the Harshit that they’ve all faced with that build a more
they’ve all faced with that build a more
they’ve all faced with that build a more tolerant and understanding community I
tolerant and understanding community I
tolerant and understanding community I hope to inspire more women to speak out
hope to inspire more women to speak out
hope to inspire more women to speak out about sensitive topics and to be more
about sensitive topics and to be more
about sensitive topics and to be more open about situation which they have
open about situation which they have
open about situation which they have been traditionally topic being taught to
been traditionally topic being taught to
been traditionally topic being taught to keep quiet by speaking at this event at
keep quiet by speaking at this event at
keep quiet by speaking at this event at TEDx talk I hope that this goes towards
TEDx talk I hope that this goes towards
TEDx talk I hope that this goes towards building bridges within different
building bridges within different
building bridges within different generation of women and men regardless
generation of women and men regardless
generation of women and men regardless of their culture color or background who
of their culture color or background who
of their culture color or background who have kept silent and not talked about
have kept silent and not talked about
have kept silent and not talked about real issues that go on behind closed
real issues that go on behind closed
real issues that go on behind closed doors it brings a tear to my eye when I
doors it brings a tear to my eye when I
doors it brings a tear to my eye when I think about women that I’ve met that I
think about women that I’ve met that I
think about women that I’ve met that I have met in situations that are not as
have met in situations that are not as
have met in situations that are not as fortunate as me I wonder why they do not
fortunate as me I wonder why they do not
fortunate as me I wonder why they do not have the courage to speak up and have a
have the courage to speak up and have a
have the courage to speak up and have a voice and Here I am breaking molds I
voice and Here I am breaking molds I
voice and Here I am breaking molds I also think about why some parents in the
also think about why some parents in the
also think about why some parents in the South Asian community view their
South Asian community view their
South Asian community view their daughters as burden one of the reasons I
daughters as burden one of the reasons I
daughters as burden one of the reasons I feel is that that so many traditions
feel is that that so many traditions
feel is that that so many traditions that practice in many cultures around
that practice in many cultures around
that practice in many cultures around the world have sex is embedded in them
the world have sex is embedded in them
the world have sex is embedded in them and if we don’t make a chatter stand
and if we don’t make a chatter stand
and if we don’t make a chatter stand against this now it will never change
against this now it will never change
against this now it will never change future generation will continue to
future generation will continue to
future generation will continue to suffer so here’s a call of action I’d
suffer so here’s a call of action I’d
suffer so here’s a call of action I’d like you all to pledge how you’re going
like you all to pledge how you’re going
like you all to pledge how you’re going to build bridges within your own
to build bridges within your own
to build bridges within your own communities I shall leave you with a
communities I shall leave you with a
communities I shall leave you with a saying for my first Sikh Guru Guru Nanak
saying for my first Sikh Guru Guru Nanak
saying for my first Sikh Guru Guru Nanak Dev ji okay very good Yuka Khalsa by
Dev ji okay very good Yuka Khalsa by
Dev ji okay very good Yuka Khalsa by guru ji ki Fateh there from a woman a
guru ji ki Fateh there from a woman a
guru ji ki Fateh there from a woman a man is born within a woman a man is
man is born within a woman a man is
man is born within a woman a man is conceived to a woman he is engaged and
conceived to a woman he is engaged and
conceived to a woman he is engaged and married within a woman his friend sorry
married within a woman his friend sorry
married within a woman his friend sorry a woman becomes his friend through a
a woman becomes his friend through a
a woman becomes his friend through a woman the future generation comes so
woman the future generation comes so
woman the future generation comes so when his woman dies he seeks another
when his woman dies he seeks another
when his woman dies he seeks another woman to a woman he is bounced so why
woman to a woman he is bounced so why
woman to a woman he is bounced so why call her bad from her Kings are born
call her bad from her Kings are born
call her bad from her Kings are born from a woman a woman is born without a
from a woman a woman is born without a
from a woman a woman is born without a woman there would be no one at all Guru
woman there would be no one at all Guru
woman there would be no one at all Guru Nanak there
Nanak there
Nanak there raagh sama halal one paid 473 of the
raagh sama halal one paid 473 of the
raagh sama halal one paid 473 of the good Bonnie thank you
good Bonnie thank you
good Bonnie thank you [Applause]
”
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