good evening we breathe we bleed we cry but our patients die we are doctors and
but our patients die we are doctors and
but our patients die we are doctors and we are human the rigors of medical
we are human the rigors of medical
we are human the rigors of medical training has claimed many the doctors
training has claimed many the doctors
training has claimed many the doctors soul and their lives in fact
soul and their lives in fact
soul and their lives in fact approximately 400 physicians commit
approximately 400 physicians commit
approximately 400 physicians commit suicide every year that’s $400 kill
suicide every year that’s $400 kill
suicide every year that’s $400 kill themselves every year and that’s just in
themselves every year and that’s just in
themselves every year and that’s just in the United States and those numbers I
the United States and those numbers I
the United States and those numbers I understand our under estimate $400
understand our under estimate $400
understand our under estimate $400 killed themselves this is not on CNN
killed themselves this is not on CNN
killed themselves this is not on CNN the district suicide has been documented
the district suicide has been documented
the district suicide has been documented since the eighteen fifty eighteen
since the eighteen fifty eighteen
since the eighteen fifty eighteen fifty-eight in England but we really
fifty-eight in England but we really
fifty-eight in England but we really don’t have an organization that’s
don’t have an organization that’s
don’t have an organization that’s tracking the numbers of God the number
tracking the numbers of God the number
tracking the numbers of God the number of doctors that kill themselves the
of doctors that kill themselves the
of doctors that kill themselves the Surgeon General dr. Vivek Murthy has
Surgeon General dr. Vivek Murthy has
Surgeon General dr. Vivek Murthy has recently stated that he is placing
recently stated that he is placing
recently stated that he is placing physician suicide on his agenda and it’s
physician suicide on his agenda and it’s
physician suicide on his agenda and it’s about time it’s about time that it’s on
about time it’s about time that it’s on
about time it’s about time that it’s on somebody’s agenda doctors are healers we
somebody’s agenda doctors are healers we
somebody’s agenda doctors are healers we do this because we love to do it and I
do this because we love to do it and I
do this because we love to do it and I think that when the soul of a doctor is
think that when the soul of a doctor is
think that when the soul of a doctor is so depraved and so broken that they’re
so depraved and so broken that they’re
so depraved and so broken that they’re killing themselves it should call to
killing themselves it should call to
killing themselves it should call to attention we should stand at attention
attention we should stand at attention
attention we should stand at attention so this is a different kind of format
so this is a different kind of format
so this is a different kind of format for me I’m usually pretty goofy but
for me I’m usually pretty goofy but
for me I’m usually pretty goofy but we’re not we’re talking about a serious
we’re not we’re talking about a serious
we’re not we’re talking about a serious topic here and physician burnout is a
topic here and physician burnout is a
topic here and physician burnout is a term that’s used to describe the reason
term that’s used to describe the reason
term that’s used to describe the reason why doctors kill themselves
why doctors kill themselves
why doctors kill themselves a physician burnout can appear in a
a physician burnout can appear in a
a physician burnout can appear in a number of
number of
number of lack of motivation lack of empathy and
lack of motivation lack of empathy and
lack of motivation lack of empathy and compassion frustration cynicism
compassion frustration cynicism
compassion frustration cynicism depression it shows up in so many ways
depression it shows up in so many ways
depression it shows up in so many ways but there is no way that I can be the
but there is no way that I can be the
but there is no way that I can be the doctor that I want to be and usher you
doctor that I want to be and usher you
doctor that I want to be and usher you into healing the way that I am trained
into healing the way that I am trained
into healing the way that I am trained to if I myself I’m hurting and I’m not
to if I myself I’m hurting and I’m not
to if I myself I’m hurting and I’m not walking that place of healing so taking
walking that place of healing so taking
walking that place of healing so taking care of the me and medicine really is
care of the me and medicine really is
care of the me and medicine really is taking care of you essentially so how do
taking care of you essentially so how do
taking care of you essentially so how do you do that how do I take care of myself
you do that how do I take care of myself
you do that how do I take care of myself I think it’s really important to know
I think it’s really important to know
I think it’s really important to know who you are and what you like what you
who you are and what you like what you
who you are and what you like what you don’t like so much of our training has
don’t like so much of our training has
don’t like so much of our training has caused us to be detached and
caused us to be detached and
caused us to be detached and compartmentalize that we don’t even
compartmentalize that we don’t even
compartmentalize that we don’t even recognize ourselves sometimes what do
recognize ourselves sometimes what do
recognize ourselves sometimes what do you like what don’t you like what feeds
you like what don’t you like what feeds
you like what don’t you like what feeds your soul what is you joy I left the
your soul what is you joy I left the
your soul what is you joy I left the thing I love to dance and love to act
thing I love to dance and love to act
thing I love to dance and love to act that’s meaning that’s your thing
that’s meaning that’s your thing
that’s meaning that’s your thing technique and the notion that we have to
technique and the notion that we have to
technique and the notion that we have to fit into this box or this prototype is
fit into this box or this prototype is
fit into this box or this prototype is so damning and it’s so destructive it’s
so damning and it’s so destructive it’s
so damning and it’s so destructive it’s not a healthy way to go so I encourage
not a healthy way to go so I encourage
not a healthy way to go so I encourage other physicians who call me because
other physicians who call me because
other physicians who call me because they are on the verge of killing
they are on the verge of killing
they are on the verge of killing themselves they are depressed and
themselves they are depressed and
themselves they are depressed and frustrated they want to get out of
frustrated they want to get out of
frustrated they want to get out of medicine I encourage them to reconnect
medicine I encourage them to reconnect
medicine I encourage them to reconnect with who they are then I ask them why
with who they are then I ask them why
with who they are then I ask them why why are you in it why are you a doctor
why are you in it why are you a doctor
why are you in it why are you a doctor why do you do what you do what is the
why do you do what you do what is the
why do you do what you do what is the driving force if you know your why then
driving force if you know your why then
driving force if you know your why then the how and the what manifests itself
the how and the what manifests itself
the how and the what manifests itself I’m in medicine because I love people I
I’m in medicine because I love people I
I’m in medicine because I love people I love people I love when the light bulb
love people I love when the light bulb
love people I love when the light bulb goes off and a pain
goes off and a pain
goes off and a pain recognises that really they’re awesome
recognises that really they’re awesome
recognises that really they’re awesome and they can do anything they put them
and they can do anything they put them
and they can do anything they put them line to and you know their diabetes is
line to and you know their diabetes is
line to and you know their diabetes is not all that they are that they’re more
not all that they are that they’re more
not all that they are that they’re more than their diabetes and we can control
than their diabetes and we can control
than their diabetes and we can control your diabetes we could do this I love
your diabetes we could do this I love
your diabetes we could do this I love being a cheerleader and giving people
being a cheerleader and giving people
being a cheerleader and giving people hope that’s why I do it
hope that’s why I do it
hope that’s why I do it I love going to places where where
I love going to places where where
I love going to places where where people don’t have a voice and like you
people don’t have a voice and like you
people don’t have a voice and like you give them a voice educate them and how
give them a voice educate them and how
give them a voice educate them and how to advocate for themselves in health
to advocate for themselves in health
to advocate for themselves in health care that’s why I do it
care that’s why I do it
care that’s why I do it but I encourage other doctors to know
but I encourage other doctors to know
but I encourage other doctors to know why who are you and why do you do what
why who are you and why do you do what
why who are you and why do you do what you do why are you in it once I know
you do why are you in it once I know
you do why are you in it once I know those two things then I determine that
those two things then I determine that
those two things then I determine that I’m going to create the atmosphere of
I’m going to create the atmosphere of
I’m going to create the atmosphere of success what is my atmosphere success
success what is my atmosphere success
success what is my atmosphere success look like and who is in it so people in
look like and who is in it so people in
look like and who is in it so people in place and attitude success I define I
place and attitude success I define I
place and attitude success I define I define my own success my success is not
define my own success my success is not
define my own success my success is not predicated on someone else’s success or
predicated on someone else’s success or
predicated on someone else’s success or what it looks like is someone else okay
what it looks like is someone else okay
what it looks like is someone else okay so who’s in it
so who’s in it
so who’s in it build your community I live on an island
build your community I live on an island
build your community I live on an island yes but I’m not an island so I encourage
yes but I’m not an island so I encourage
yes but I’m not an island so I encourage people from all different walks of life
people from all different walks of life
people from all different walks of life my community includes real estate agents
my community includes real estate agents
my community includes real estate agents lawyers other doctors social workers
lawyers other doctors social workers
lawyers other doctors social workers homemakers my community is vast because
homemakers my community is vast because
homemakers my community is vast because they give me a different perspective a
they give me a different perspective a
they give me a different perspective a way to look at things from a different
way to look at things from a different
way to look at things from a different vantage point my community keeps me
vantage point my community keeps me
vantage point my community keeps me accountable they love me and they
accountable they love me and they
accountable they love me and they encouraged me to pursue the thing that I
encouraged me to pursue the thing that I
encouraged me to pursue the thing that I said that I want to when I explained my
said that I want to when I explained my
said that I want to when I explained my why to them so I encourage other doctors
why to them so I encourage other doctors
why to them so I encourage other doctors to create that community that build that
to create that community that build that
to create that community that build that community create that atmosphere that
community create that atmosphere that
community create that atmosphere that environmental success the one that you
environmental success the one that you
environmental success the one that you desire now in my practice a little
desire now in my practice a little
desire now in my practice a little different so I love like I thought I
different so I love like I thought I
different so I love like I thought I loved the thing I love to dance and so
loved the thing I love to dance and so
loved the thing I love to dance and so that’s what I do
that’s what I do
that’s what I do that’s my environment that’s my safe
that’s my environment that’s my safe
that’s my environment that’s my safe place and I found that so many times
place and I found that so many times
place and I found that so many times patients come in and they think that if
patients come in and they think that if
patients come in and they think that if they’re just meeting me for the first
they’re just meeting me for the first
they’re just meeting me for the first time that all I’m going to talk about
time that all I’m going to talk about
time that all I’m going to talk about really is the routine well you have high
really is the routine well you have high
really is the routine well you have high blood pressure I’m going to give you
blood pressure I’m going to give you
blood pressure I’m going to give you pressure pill oh you’ve got diabetes
pressure pill oh you’ve got diabetes
pressure pill oh you’ve got diabetes I’ll give you diabetes medication and
I’ll give you diabetes medication and
I’ll give you diabetes medication and most times we spend laughing talking
most times we spend laughing talking
most times we spend laughing talking connecting and they leave feeling better
connecting and they leave feeling better
connecting and they leave feeling better I’m able to do that because I’m
I’m able to do that because I’m
I’m able to do that because I’m connected to who I am I’m comfortable in
connected to who I am I’m comfortable in
connected to who I am I’m comfortable in my skin
my skin
my skin and I know why I’m doing what I’m doing
and I know why I’m doing what I’m doing
and I know why I’m doing what I’m doing and so I’m a better doctor to them by
and so I’m a better doctor to them by
and so I’m a better doctor to them by being a good doctor to myself in the in
being a good doctor to myself in the in
being a good doctor to myself in the in event so who are you why are you doing
event so who are you why are you doing
event so who are you why are you doing what you’re doing create that atmosphere
what you’re doing create that atmosphere
what you’re doing create that atmosphere and the environment of success build
and the environment of success build
and the environment of success build your community okay
your community okay
your community okay build your community now we were trained
build your community now we were trained
build your community now we were trained as physicians to be super humans if you
as physicians to be super humans if you
as physicians to be super humans if you will those who have been trained know
will those who have been trained know
will those who have been trained know that there are times when we would go
that there are times when we would go
that there are times when we would go without sleep for hours we call it being
without sleep for hours we call it being
without sleep for hours we call it being on-call and I have written many an order
on-call and I have written many an order
on-call and I have written many an order that I do not remember writing because
that I do not remember writing because
that I do not remember writing because you’re sleeping you should be sleeping
you’re sleeping you should be sleeping
you’re sleeping you should be sleeping but you’re in this state of of a
but you’re in this state of of a
but you’re in this state of of a weakness and not being quite alert I’ve
weakness and not being quite alert I’ve
weakness and not being quite alert I’ve decided that taking time to rest
decided that taking time to rest
decided that taking time to rest decompress and disconnect is vital to my
decompress and disconnect is vital to my
decompress and disconnect is vital to my mental health it’s vital to taking care
mental health it’s vital to taking care
mental health it’s vital to taking care of the meet in medicine so what things
of the meet in medicine so what things
of the meet in medicine so what things do I enjoy I love to write I love
do I enjoy I love to write I love
do I enjoy I love to write I love photography you know I encourage medical
photography you know I encourage medical
photography you know I encourage medical students residents and other physicians
students residents and other physicians
students residents and other physicians to get involved and and be figure out
to get involved and and be figure out
to get involved and and be figure out what feeds your soul what is it that
what feeds your soul what is it that
what feeds your soul what is it that feeds your soul look I went through a
feeds your soul look I went through a
feeds your soul look I went through a really tough period in my life and in my
really tough period in my life and in my
really tough period in my life and in my council with my pastor he said something
council with my pastor he said something
council with my pastor he said something to me that stuck with me and that I use
to me that stuck with me and that I use
to me that stuck with me and that I use I remind myself and I also remind my
I remind myself and I also remind my
I remind myself and I also remind my patients remember through it all do what
patients remember through it all do what
patients remember through it all do what feeds your soul situations around you
feeds your soul situations around you
feeds your soul situations around you are going to be chaotic but you’ve got
are going to be chaotic but you’ve got
are going to be chaotic but you’ve got to take care of this this year and so I
to take care of this this year and so I
to take care of this this year and so I did I reconnected with some of the
did I reconnected with some of the
did I reconnected with some of the things that I loved writing traveling a
things that I loved writing traveling a
things that I loved writing traveling a whole lot more and I reconnected I
whole lot more and I reconnected I
whole lot more and I reconnected I decided that I needed rest I needed to
decided that I needed rest I needed to
decided that I needed rest I needed to sleep sleep is so restorative our minds
sleep sleep is so restorative our minds
sleep sleep is so restorative our minds and bodies need sleep physicians look we
and bodies need sleep physicians look we
and bodies need sleep physicians look we are humans we are humans and yes we
are humans we are humans and yes we
are humans we are humans and yes we answer the call and they want to save
answer the call and they want to save
answer the call and they want to save the world but until we take care and
the world but until we take care and
the world but until we take care and nurture this only bought this is the
nurture this only bought this is the
nurture this only bought this is the only body that I’m gonna have and it’s
only body that I’m gonna have and it’s
only body that I’m gonna have and it’s imperative that I nurtured it and take
imperative that I nurtured it and take
imperative that I nurtured it and take care of it
care of it
care of it just recently I experienced a couple
just recently I experienced a couple
just recently I experienced a couple things vertigo which I’d never
things vertigo which I’d never
things vertigo which I’d never experienced before and palpitations
experienced before and palpitations
experienced before and palpitations my heart was just uh having at a time
my heart was just uh having at a time
my heart was just uh having at a time just the flip flopping flip flopping in
just the flip flopping flip flopping in
just the flip flopping flip flopping in my chest and of course I get worried
my chest and of course I get worried
my chest and of course I get worried because I’m never sick I’ve always been
because I’m never sick I’ve always been
because I’m never sick I’ve always been healthy and I realize I stopped and I
healthy and I realize I stopped and I
healthy and I realize I stopped and I thought well what have you been doing
thought well what have you been doing
thought well what have you been doing you’ve been staying up late really
you’ve been staying up late really
you’ve been staying up late really excited about you know getting projects
excited about you know getting projects
excited about you know getting projects done and I’m speaking and Austin Texas
done and I’m speaking and Austin Texas
done and I’m speaking and Austin Texas whatever those other things that I do
whatever those other things that I do
whatever those other things that I do and I had not been sleeping I was
and I had not been sleeping I was
and I had not been sleeping I was getting maybe five hours of sleep a
getting maybe five hours of sleep a
getting maybe five hours of sleep a night and my community those people that
night and my community those people that
night and my community those people that I have garnished had my support they
I have garnished had my support they
I have garnished had my support they came to me and they hey are you sleeping
came to me and they hey are you sleeping
came to me and they hey are you sleeping hey have you been to the hey you know
hey have you been to the hey you know
hey have you been to the hey you know and they kept me accountable and so I
and they kept me accountable and so I
and they kept me accountable and so I decided I was going to go home and go to
decided I was going to go home and go to
decided I was going to go home and go to bed like leave the office at 5:30 I am
bed like leave the office at 5:30 I am
bed like leave the office at 5:30 I am going home have dinner in the bed no
going home have dinner in the bed no
going home have dinner in the bed no later than 9:00 o’clock and I slept
later than 9:00 o’clock and I slept
later than 9:00 o’clock and I slept eight hours and
eight hours and
eight hours and my palpitation eventually you know
my palpitation eventually you know
my palpitation eventually you know readily but that was again a reminder to
readily but that was again a reminder to
readily but that was again a reminder to me even though I know these things it
me even though I know these things it
me even though I know these things it was a reminder to me that I need to
was a reminder to me that I need to
was a reminder to me that I need to constantly remind myself of Who I am why
constantly remind myself of Who I am why
constantly remind myself of Who I am why I am here and to remember that nurturing
I am here and to remember that nurturing
I am here and to remember that nurturing and caring for me is important just
and caring for me is important just
and caring for me is important just recently my patient this week said to me
recently my patient this week said to me
recently my patient this week said to me doc we need you healthy because if
doc we need you healthy because if
doc we need you healthy because if you’re not healthy you can’t take care
you’re not healthy you can’t take care
you’re not healthy you can’t take care of me and that really struck me because
of me and that really struck me because
of me and that really struck me because they get it my patients get it so who
they get it my patients get it so who
they get it my patients get it so who are you why are you here creating that
are you why are you here creating that
are you why are you here creating that environment of success and safety
environment of success and safety
environment of success and safety getting rest decompressing and refueling
getting rest decompressing and refueling
getting rest decompressing and refueling you’re doing it hobbies just taking care
you’re doing it hobbies just taking care
you’re doing it hobbies just taking care of your soul is important I have found
of your soul is important I have found
of your soul is important I have found that the notion of no is incredibly
that the notion of no is incredibly
that the notion of no is incredibly important to me no it’s a complete
important to me no it’s a complete
important to me no it’s a complete sentence
sentence
sentence it is numb verb pronoun adjective no it
it is numb verb pronoun adjective no it
it is numb verb pronoun adjective no it does not need an explanation it does not
does not need an explanation it does not
does not need an explanation it does not need it an apology it does not need
need it an apology it does not need
need it an apology it does not need justification my no today means that my
justification my no today means that my
justification my no today means that my yes tomorrow I can give you my guest
yes tomorrow I can give you my guest
yes tomorrow I can give you my guest tomorrow we are expected to be
tomorrow we are expected to be
tomorrow we are expected to be everything to everyone all the time and
everything to everyone all the time and
everything to everyone all the time and I can’t do it no one doctor can do it so
I can’t do it no one doctor can do it so
I can’t do it no one doctor can do it so saying no today really I’m saying yes to
saying no today really I’m saying yes to
saying no today really I’m saying yes to myself and I think we ought to do more
myself and I think we ought to do more
myself and I think we ought to do more of that say yes to me lastly it’s so
of that say yes to me lastly it’s so
of that say yes to me lastly it’s so important to create memorial stones I
important to create memorial stones I
important to create memorial stones I call them
call them
call them please reminders of your humanity around
please reminders of your humanity around
please reminders of your humanity around you and this you know wow this I’m
you and this you know wow this I’m
you and this you know wow this I’m speaking specifically about
speaking specifically about
speaking specifically about this is for any profession whether you
this is for any profession whether you
this is for any profession whether you be a lawyer in a church you know an
be a lawyer in a church you know an
be a lawyer in a church you know an attorney avoided thinking of government
attorney avoided thinking of government
attorney avoided thinking of government minister your teacher whatever your
minister your teacher whatever your
minister your teacher whatever your profession I think this applies across
profession I think this applies across
profession I think this applies across the board but create memorial stones
the board but create memorial stones
the board but create memorial stones have you know this is a picture actually
have you know this is a picture actually
have you know this is a picture actually – I love hummingbirds love hummingbirds
– I love hummingbirds love hummingbirds
– I love hummingbirds love hummingbirds when I see a hummingbird I think that
when I see a hummingbird I think that
when I see a hummingbird I think that God is like talking to me personally
God is like talking to me personally
God is like talking to me personally that’s my personal hummingbird and so I
that’s my personal hummingbird and so I
that’s my personal hummingbird and so I took this here in Saint Thomas with my
took this here in Saint Thomas with my
took this here in Saint Thomas with my Canon camera and I chased the birds you
Canon camera and I chased the birds you
Canon camera and I chased the birds you know kind of weird if you see me don’t
know kind of weird if you see me don’t
know kind of weird if you see me don’t judge me but I’m running around with my
judge me but I’m running around with my
judge me but I’m running around with my camera snaps out snapping and this is
camera snaps out snapping and this is
camera snaps out snapping and this is one of the birds that I captured but
one of the birds that I captured but
one of the birds that I captured but that I keep present because it reminds
that I keep present because it reminds
that I keep present because it reminds me of some of the things that I love and
me of some of the things that I love and
me of some of the things that I love and that I know exactly when I took it
that I know exactly when I took it
that I know exactly when I took it that’s a memorial stone for me this was
that’s a memorial stone for me this was
that’s a memorial stone for me this was when I first moved to st. Thomas so that
when I first moved to st. Thomas so that
when I first moved to st. Thomas so that reminds me of who why what fedra Socrate
reminds me of who why what fedra Socrate
reminds me of who why what fedra Socrate memorial memorial stones a living
memorial memorial stones a living
memorial memorial stones a living Journal to remind you of your humanity
Journal to remind you of your humanity
Journal to remind you of your humanity being a doctor is a huge privilege I
being a doctor is a huge privilege I
being a doctor is a huge privilege I don’t take it lightly it’s a huge
don’t take it lightly it’s a huge
don’t take it lightly it’s a huge privilege because patients come in to a
privilege because patients come in to a
privilege because patients come in to a stranger’s office and they share their
stranger’s office and they share their
stranger’s office and they share their most intimate details they allow me to
most intimate details they allow me to
most intimate details they allow me to touch them in places thought they would
touch them in places thought they would
touch them in places thought they would not normally have someone in public
not normally have someone in public
not normally have someone in public touch them they allow me to hear their
touch them they allow me to hear their
touch them they allow me to hear their stories they let me in it’s a privileged
stories they let me in it’s a privileged
stories they let me in it’s a privileged place I consider being a healer of
place I consider being a healer of
place I consider being a healer of privilege
privilege
privilege so I honor that privilege by taking care
so I honor that privilege by taking care
so I honor that privilege by taking care of the mean in medicine when I take care
of the mean in medicine when I take care
of the mean in medicine when I take care of the me in medicine I am about it
of the me in medicine I am about it
of the me in medicine I am about it offer to you thank you
offer to you thank you
offer to you thank you you
you
you [Applause]
”
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