this photo was taken on my wedding day the second of August 2014 your wedding
the second of August 2014 your wedding
the second of August 2014 your wedding day is supposed to be one of the
day is supposed to be one of the
day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life but unknown
happiest days of your life but unknown
happiest days of your life but unknown to anyone else at the time the day
to anyone else at the time the day
to anyone else at the time the day before my wedding
before my wedding
before my wedding I had gambled everything that we had to
I had gambled everything that we had to
I had gambled everything that we had to pay for the wedding and I spent the next
pay for the wedding and I spent the next
pay for the wedding and I spent the next 24 hours borrowing money from payday
24 hours borrowing money from payday
24 hours borrowing money from payday loans getting advances in my pay to
loans getting advances in my pay to
loans getting advances in my pay to ensure that I could feed guests but this
ensure that I could feed guests but this
ensure that I could feed guests but this was my life as a compulsive gambler as a
was my life as a compulsive gambler as a
was my life as a compulsive gambler as a gambler I was a liar I was a manipulator
gambler I was a liar I was a manipulator
gambler I was a liar I was a manipulator I was a thief I was verbally abusive I
I was a thief I was verbally abusive I
I was a thief I was verbally abusive I always push the blame to everyone else
always push the blame to everyone else
always push the blame to everyone else but me I pride myself on my honesty and
but me I pride myself on my honesty and
but me I pride myself on my honesty and my loyalty and my love for my family and
my loyalty and my love for my family and
my loyalty and my love for my family and friends but my addiction turned me into
friends but my addiction turned me into
friends but my addiction turned me into a horrible devious man I was blaming my
a horrible devious man I was blaming my
a horrible devious man I was blaming my wife for her spending habits when in
wife for her spending habits when in
wife for her spending habits when in reality I’d spent 300 pounds in the
reality I’d spent 300 pounds in the
reality I’d spent 300 pounds in the blink of an eye so how does a man who
blink of an eye so how does a man who
blink of an eye so how does a man who had a successful career and a loving
had a successful career and a loving
had a successful career and a loving family and of losing 250,000 pounds in
family and of losing 250,000 pounds in
family and of losing 250,000 pounds in the space of 12 years on a gambling
the space of 12 years on a gambling
the space of 12 years on a gambling addiction my first memory of gambling
addiction my first memory of gambling
addiction my first memory of gambling was when I was quite young I used to go
was when I was quite young I used to go
was when I was quite young I used to go with my dad and his friends to the pub
with my dad and his friends to the pub
with my dad and his friends to the pub and my dad was in a heavy gambler or at
and my dad was in a heavy gambler or at
and my dad was in a heavy gambler or at all he would have the odd flutter here
all he would have the odd flutter here
all he would have the odd flutter here in there he’d put in two or three pounds
in there he’d put in two or three pounds
in there he’d put in two or three pounds in the machine and I would watch them
in the machine and I would watch them
in the machine and I would watch them watch the machine the flashing lights
watch the machine the flashing lights
watch the machine the flashing lights the money going in the money going out
the money going in the money going out
the money going in the money going out and this would just mesmerize me
and this would just mesmerize me
and this would just mesmerize me obviously at that age I didn’t
obviously at that age I didn’t
obviously at that age I didn’t understand the dangers of gambling at
understand the dangers of gambling at
understand the dangers of gambling at the age of 16 I decided to gamble by
the age of 16 I decided to gamble by
the age of 16 I decided to gamble by myself go into the local CAF with my
myself go into the local CAF with my
myself go into the local CAF with my friends and there was a fruit machine
friends and there was a fruit machine
friends and there was a fruit machine there and again it started off
there and again it started off
there and again it started off innocently me putting in a couple of
innocently me putting in a couple of
innocently me putting in a couple of pounds just going on our lunch break but
pounds just going on our lunch break but
pounds just going on our lunch break but then
then
then turning to me spending my time there for
turning to me spending my time there for
turning to me spending my time there for two-three hours at a time
two-three hours at a time
two-three hours at a time gambling missing class and rather than
gambling missing class and rather than
gambling missing class and rather than doing what most 16 year-olds will be
doing what most 16 year-olds will be
doing what most 16 year-olds will be doing like chatting up girls or playing
doing like chatting up girls or playing
doing like chatting up girls or playing football I was just hooked on these
football I was just hooked on these
football I was just hooked on these machines the next year a friend of mine
machines the next year a friend of mine
machines the next year a friend of mine introduced me to the bookies and in the
introduced me to the bookies and in the
introduced me to the bookies and in the bookies as we walked in there were these
bookies as we walked in there were these
bookies as we walked in there were these machines fixed odds betting terminals
machines fixed odds betting terminals
machines fixed odds betting terminals otherwise known as fo BTS
otherwise known as fo BTS
otherwise known as fo BTS they’re known in the gambling industry
they’re known in the gambling industry
they’re known in the gambling industry as the crack cocaine of gambling their
as the crack cocaine of gambling their
as the crack cocaine of gambling their casino style machines where you can play
casino style machines where you can play
casino style machines where you can play roulette or blackjack or slots you
roulette or blackjack or slots you
roulette or blackjack or slots you deposit your cash into the machine or if
deposit your cash into the machine or if
deposit your cash into the machine or if you don’t have cash you simply take your
you don’t have cash you simply take your
you don’t have cash you simply take your card to the counter but as much money as
card to the counter but as much money as
card to the counter but as much money as you like straight onto the machine there
you like straight onto the machine there
you like straight onto the machine there are usually four in every bookies and I
are usually four in every bookies and I
are usually four in every bookies and I sat there with him as he put ten pounds
sat there with him as he put ten pounds
sat there with him as he put ten pounds into the machine and within minutes he
into the machine and within minutes he
into the machine and within minutes he had 100 pounds I couldn’t contemplate
had 100 pounds I couldn’t contemplate
had 100 pounds I couldn’t contemplate how it was possible to earn such a large
how it was possible to earn such a large
how it was possible to earn such a large amount of money in such a short space of
amount of money in such a short space of
amount of money in such a short space of time
time
time obviously I didn’t see the losses that
obviously I didn’t see the losses that
obviously I didn’t see the losses that coupled up just to give you an idea of
coupled up just to give you an idea of
coupled up just to give you an idea of how addictive and destructive these
how addictive and destructive these
how addictive and destructive these machines are you can bet a hundred
machines are you can bet a hundred
machines are you can bet a hundred pounds every 20 seconds on these
pounds every 20 seconds on these
pounds every 20 seconds on these machines that’s 300 pounds a minute or
machines that’s 300 pounds a minute or
machines that’s 300 pounds a minute or 9,000 pounds in half an hour
9,000 pounds in half an hour
9,000 pounds in half an hour 9,000 pounds is a car 9,000 pounds is a
9,000 pounds is a car 9,000 pounds is a
9,000 pounds is a car 9,000 pounds is a year at uni how was it possible to lose
year at uni how was it possible to lose
year at uni how was it possible to lose 9,000 pounds in the space of half an
9,000 pounds in the space of half an
9,000 pounds in the space of half an hour in the UK High Street the
hour in the UK High Street the
hour in the UK High Street the University of Cambridgeshire recently
University of Cambridgeshire recently
University of Cambridgeshire recently did a study into the brain of a
did a study into the brain of a
did a study into the brain of a compulsive gambler and what they
compulsive gambler and what they
compulsive gambler and what they concluded is that the endorphins that
concluded is that the endorphins that
concluded is that the endorphins that you get during a gambling addiction are
you get during a gambling addiction are
you get during a gambling addiction are exactly the same is that for a drug user
exactly the same is that for a drug user
exactly the same is that for a drug user during a drug addiction and so with
during a drug addiction and so with
during a drug addiction and so with these machines getting that hit
these machines getting that hit
these machines getting that hit every 20 seconds is even more powerful
every 20 seconds is even more powerful
every 20 seconds is even more powerful to us and it’s the reason why we just
to us and it’s the reason why we just
to us and it’s the reason why we just continued to gamble constantly in fact
continued to gamble constantly in fact
continued to gamble constantly in fact the UK is the only developed country to
the UK is the only developed country to
the UK is the only developed country to be able to have these machines on the
be able to have these machines on the
be able to have these machines on the high street which allow you to gamble
high street which allow you to gamble
high street which allow you to gamble 100 pounds every 20 seconds how is this
100 pounds every 20 seconds how is this
100 pounds every 20 seconds how is this possible
possible
possible so what is compulsive gambling
so what is compulsive gambling
so what is compulsive gambling compulsive gambling otherwise known as
compulsive gambling otherwise known as
compulsive gambling otherwise known as pathological gambling is an impulse
pathological gambling is an impulse
pathological gambling is an impulse control disorder which means we can’t
control disorder which means we can’t
control disorder which means we can’t control the impulse to gamble even if it
control the impulse to gamble even if it
control the impulse to gamble even if it has negative consequences there are
has negative consequences there are
has negative consequences there are 500,000 problem gamblers in the UK which
500,000 problem gamblers in the UK which
500,000 problem gamblers in the UK which is up 1/3 in 3 years and they say for
is up 1/3 in 3 years and they say for
is up 1/3 in 3 years and they say for each problem gambler
each problem gambler
each problem gambler it affects at least 6 family or friends
it affects at least 6 family or friends
it affects at least 6 family or friends that’s 3 million people in the UK
that’s 3 million people in the UK
that’s 3 million people in the UK affected by problem gambling the thing
affected by problem gambling the thing
affected by problem gambling the thing about problem gambling is is very much a
about problem gambling is is very much a
about problem gambling is is very much a hidden addiction with alcohol addiction
hidden addiction with alcohol addiction
hidden addiction with alcohol addiction or drug addiction you can see the
or drug addiction you can see the
or drug addiction you can see the effects that it has in those individuals
effects that it has in those individuals
effects that it has in those individuals but with gambling you just can’t tell
but with gambling you just can’t tell
but with gambling you just can’t tell I’ve walked out of bookies sick to the
I’ve walked out of bookies sick to the
I’ve walked out of bookies sick to the pit of my stomach where I’ve gambled a
pit of my stomach where I’ve gambled a
pit of my stomach where I’ve gambled a month’s wages in the space of half an
month’s wages in the space of half an
month’s wages in the space of half an hour my rent money the thought of my
hour my rent money the thought of my
hour my rent money the thought of my family being on the street and then the
family being on the street and then the
family being on the street and then the guilt sets in and I realized what I’ve
guilt sets in and I realized what I’ve
guilt sets in and I realized what I’ve done and I have to live with the
done and I have to live with the
done and I have to live with the consequences my life was utterly
consequences my life was utterly
consequences my life was utterly dictated by these machines I recently
dictated by these machines I recently
dictated by these machines I recently did a number of interviews for the BBC
did a number of interviews for the BBC
did a number of interviews for the BBC and ITV about gambling addiction and all
and ITV about gambling addiction and all
and ITV about gambling addiction and all the questions that was asked were how
the questions that was asked were how
the questions that was asked were how much did you lose and how bad did it get
much did you lose and how bad did it get
much did you lose and how bad did it get and how much did you lose in your lunch
and how much did you lose in your lunch
and how much did you lose in your lunch break and everything was just money
break and everything was just money
break and everything was just money related and I really didn’t like these
related and I really didn’t like these
related and I really didn’t like these questions and I’ll tell you why the
questions and I’ll tell you why the
questions and I’ll tell you why the money is irrelevant and I know that
money is irrelevant and I know that
money is irrelevant and I know that sounds silly but it really is obviously
sounds silly but it really is obviously
sounds silly but it really is obviously at the time it was important and it was
at the time it was important and it was
at the time it was important and it was the reason why I was gambling but I can
the reason why I was gambling but I can
the reason why I was gambling but I can earn money back through hard work yes it
earn money back through hard work yes it
earn money back through hard work yes it will take me a long time to earn 250,000
will take me a long time to earn 250,000
will take me a long time to earn 250,000 pounds back but I can what I can’t
pounds back but I can what I can’t
pounds back but I can what I can’t is take away the pain that I caused my
is take away the pain that I caused my
is take away the pain that I caused my family what I can’t do is get that time
family what I can’t do is get that time
family what I can’t do is get that time back that I lost with my children as i
back that I lost with my children as i
back that I lost with my children as i sat there gambling my gambling addiction
sat there gambling my gambling addiction
sat there gambling my gambling addiction led me to ignoring my children it led me
led me to ignoring my children it led me
led me to ignoring my children it led me to do the 4 a.m. night feed with our
to do the 4 a.m. night feed with our
to do the 4 a.m. night feed with our first child but not because I wanted to
first child but not because I wanted to
first child but not because I wanted to help my wife but because I wanted to
help my wife but because I wanted to
help my wife but because I wanted to stay up gambling till four o’clock in
stay up gambling till four o’clock in
stay up gambling till four o’clock in the morning it led me to gambling my
the morning it led me to gambling my
the morning it led me to gambling my rent money it was looking for that hit
rent money it was looking for that hit
rent money it was looking for that hit all the time I was constantly on the
all the time I was constantly on the
all the time I was constantly on the phone and I was always lying I turned
phone and I was always lying I turned
phone and I was always lying I turned into a selfish man I was always looking
into a selfish man I was always looking
into a selfish man I was always looking for that instant fix and that’s the
for that instant fix and that’s the
for that instant fix and that’s the thing with gambling addiction there
thing with gambling addiction there
thing with gambling addiction there isn’t one it either ends by a stopping
isn’t one it either ends by a stopping
isn’t one it either ends by a stopping like I have now or ends with us on the
like I have now or ends with us on the
like I have now or ends with us on the streets in prison or dead and that is a
streets in prison or dead and that is a
streets in prison or dead and that is a stark reality of it on January the 28th
stark reality of it on January the 28th
stark reality of it on January the 28th 2016 I decided that enough was enough
2016 I decided that enough was enough
2016 I decided that enough was enough I walked into the local gammas Anonymous
I walked into the local gammas Anonymous
I walked into the local gammas Anonymous room on a Thursday in Kingston and I sat
room on a Thursday in Kingston and I sat
room on a Thursday in Kingston and I sat there as I wanted to know what I could
there as I wanted to know what I could
there as I wanted to know what I could do to stop the chair for the evening was
do to stop the chair for the evening was
do to stop the chair for the evening was Ken and he really helped me in
Ken and he really helped me in
Ken and he really helped me in understanding of my addiction I had been
understanding of my addiction I had been
understanding of my addiction I had been to gammas Anonymous a number of times
to gammas Anonymous a number of times
to gammas Anonymous a number of times over the last 12 years but this time
over the last 12 years but this time
over the last 12 years but this time felt different this time I felt a
felt different this time I felt a
felt different this time I felt a connection I met lots of different
connection I met lots of different
connection I met lots of different people from all walks of life and that’s
people from all walks of life and that’s
people from all walks of life and that’s the thing with gambling addiction is
the thing with gambling addiction is
the thing with gambling addiction is there is no make up for an addict it can
there is no make up for an addict it can
there is no make up for an addict it can happen to anyone I chaired my first
happen to anyone I chaired my first
happen to anyone I chaired my first meeting after a few months and now I was
meeting after a few months and now I was
meeting after a few months and now I was giving advice to other people the same
giving advice to other people the same
giving advice to other people the same advice that Ken gave me for 12 years I
advice that Ken gave me for 12 years I
advice that Ken gave me for 12 years I was selfish for 12 years I was a
was selfish for 12 years I was a
was selfish for 12 years I was a horrible man now was the time to make up
horrible man now was the time to make up
horrible man now was the time to make up to my family and try and help others
to my family and try and help others
to my family and try and help others I’ve got in touch with the BBC of
I’ve got in touch with the BBC of
I’ve got in touch with the BBC of few months after I gave up because I
few months after I gave up because I
few months after I gave up because I wanted to show the effects of these
wanted to show the effects of these
wanted to show the effects of these machines and how bad they can get they
machines and how bad they can get they
machines and how bad they can get they put me in touch with the MP for Swansea
put me in touch with the MP for Swansea
put me in touch with the MP for Swansea Carolyn Harris who was running a
Carolyn Harris who was running a
Carolyn Harris who was running a campaign in government to try and reduce
campaign in government to try and reduce
campaign in government to try and reduce the stakes on on these machines from a
the stakes on on these machines from a
the stakes on on these machines from a hundred pounds every twenty seconds to
hundred pounds every twenty seconds to
hundred pounds every twenty seconds to two pounds i sat with her and we filled
two pounds i sat with her and we filled
two pounds i sat with her and we filled out an evidence pack to was about six
out an evidence pack to was about six
out an evidence pack to was about six pages long but that was submitted as
pages long but that was submitted as
pages long but that was submitted as part of the the hearing and on generally
part of the the hearing and on generally
part of the the hearing and on generally the 23rd we had should have an outcome
the 23rd we had should have an outcome
the 23rd we had should have an outcome and hopefully we’ll get to pound snakes
and hopefully we’ll get to pound snakes
and hopefully we’ll get to pound snakes what worries me most about these
what worries me most about these
what worries me most about these machines is that it starts off as a
machines is that it starts off as a
machines is that it starts off as a social thing just like it did with me
social thing just like it did with me
social thing just like it did with me and then you turn into going into your
and then you turn into going into your
and then you turn into going into your lock onto your lunch breaks spending
lock onto your lunch breaks spending
lock onto your lunch breaks spending your whole month’s wages just like it
your whole month’s wages just like it
your whole month’s wages just like it did with me
did with me
did with me the thing is the reality of it is we’re
the thing is the reality of it is we’re
the thing is the reality of it is we’re never going to stop gambling addiction
never going to stop gambling addiction
never going to stop gambling addiction there are always going to be addicts but
there are always going to be addicts but
there are always going to be addicts but as a country we need to do more to
as a country we need to do more to
as a country we need to do more to minimise the risk and at the moment
minimise the risk and at the moment
minimise the risk and at the moment we’re not having a hundred pound stakes
we’re not having a hundred pound stakes
we’re not having a hundred pound stakes every 20 seconds is not minimizing the
every 20 seconds is not minimizing the
every 20 seconds is not minimizing the risk having the spin speed every 20
risk having the spin speed every 20
risk having the spin speed every 20 seconds
seconds
seconds we’re gamblers are getting that
we’re gamblers are getting that
we’re gamblers are getting that endorphin and that hit is not minimizing
endorphin and that hit is not minimizing
endorphin and that hit is not minimizing the risk having four to five bookies on
the risk having four to five bookies on
the risk having four to five bookies on every High Street is not minimizing the
every High Street is not minimizing the
every High Street is not minimizing the risk and having no education about
risk and having no education about
risk and having no education about gambling addiction in schools is not
gambling addiction in schools is not
gambling addiction in schools is not minimizing the risk over the past 22
minimizing the risk over the past 22
minimizing the risk over the past 22 months of my recovery I’ve learned a few
months of my recovery I’ve learned a few
months of my recovery I’ve learned a few things and these are the things that I
things and these are the things that I
things and these are the things that I think are really important in any type
think are really important in any type
think are really important in any type of addiction recovery the first is being
of addiction recovery the first is being
of addiction recovery the first is being honest absolutely honest to your people
honest absolutely honest to your people
honest absolutely honest to your people will parent your family and your friends
will parent your family and your friends
will parent your family and your friends around you about what you’ve done and
around you about what you’ve done and
around you about what you’ve done and it’s not just about being honest then
it’s not just about being honest then
it’s not just about being honest then it’s about being honest in the future
it’s about being honest in the future
it’s about being honest in the future whenever I’m struggling I always talk to
whenever I’m struggling I always talk to
whenever I’m struggling I always talk to my wife about how things are going and
my wife about how things are going and
my wife about how things are going and how I’m feeling the second is having a
how I’m feeling the second is having a
how I’m feeling the second is having a consequence of motivation
consequence of motivation
consequence of motivation if you have no consequence or motivation
if you have no consequence or motivation
if you have no consequence or motivation to give up it’s really tough there needs
to give up it’s really tough there needs
to give up it’s really tough there needs to be a reason for you to stop every
to be a reason for you to stop every
to be a reason for you to stop every time I walk to a bookies I think of a
time I walk to a bookies I think of a
time I walk to a bookies I think of a scale my family on one side and gambling
scale my family on one side and gambling
scale my family on one side and gambling on the other which is more important to
on the other which is more important to
on the other which is more important to me and the third is getting help whether
me and the third is getting help whether
me and the third is getting help whether that be through gammas Anonymous or
that be through gammas Anonymous or
that be through gammas Anonymous or alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics
alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics
alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous or even go into your GP to see
Anonymous or even go into your GP to see
Anonymous or even go into your GP to see what’s available in the NHS is really
what’s available in the NHS is really
what’s available in the NHS is really important that you get support my
important that you get support my
important that you get support my addiction is lifelong I have to deal
addiction is lifelong I have to deal
addiction is lifelong I have to deal with the fact that I can never gamble
with the fact that I can never gamble
with the fact that I can never gamble again and I miss it I really do and
again and I miss it I really do and
again and I miss it I really do and that’s that that’s the hardest thing is
that’s that that’s the hardest thing is
that’s that that’s the hardest thing is that I have to live with the fact that I
that I have to live with the fact that I
that I have to live with the fact that I can’t do something I really enjoyed but
can’t do something I really enjoyed but
can’t do something I really enjoyed but I can’t continue with that because I
I can’t continue with that because I
I can’t continue with that because I know it will take me back to where I was
so as my talk comes to a close there’s a
so as my talk comes to a close there’s a few things I want you to take away
few things I want you to take away
few things I want you to take away tonight the first thing is remember that
tonight the first thing is remember that
tonight the first thing is remember that gambling addiction can happen to anyone
gambling addiction can happen to anyone
gambling addiction can happen to anyone there is no makeup
there is no makeup
there is no makeup we aren’t inherently bad people we’ve
we aren’t inherently bad people we’ve
we aren’t inherently bad people we’ve just made bad decisions
just made bad decisions
just made bad decisions the second is recovery getting help and
the second is recovery getting help and
the second is recovery getting help and breaking that cycle is so important and
breaking that cycle is so important and
breaking that cycle is so important and that’s one of the key reasons why I’ve
that’s one of the key reasons why I’ve
that’s one of the key reasons why I’ve stopped and the third is education I
stopped and the third is education I
stopped and the third is education I urge you to speak to your kids your
urge you to speak to your kids your
urge you to speak to your kids your grandkids your nieces your nephews about
grandkids your nieces your nephews about
grandkids your nieces your nephews about the dangers of gambling addiction I know
the dangers of gambling addiction I know
the dangers of gambling addiction I know that gambling can happen at any time
that gambling can happen at any time
that gambling can happen at any time stopping isn’t simple but life is much
stopping isn’t simple but life is much
stopping isn’t simple but life is much better now I have my priorities straight
better now I have my priorities straight
better now I have my priorities straight and I am the person I always wanted to
and I am the person I always wanted to
and I am the person I always wanted to be thank you
”
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