[Applause] so in 2011 I arrived here as a
so in 2011 I arrived here as a
so in 2011 I arrived here as a bright-eyed girl all the way from Ohio
you see I believed I was living my best
you see I believed I was living my best life because I was engaged I was
life because I was engaged I was
life because I was engaged I was attending Columbia University for
attending Columbia University for
attending Columbia University for Counseling Psychology and I was pursuing
Counseling Psychology and I was pursuing
Counseling Psychology and I was pursuing a hobby which I loved a lot modeling I
a hobby which I loved a lot modeling I
a hobby which I loved a lot modeling I would enter the world of Freud during
would enter the world of Freud during
would enter the world of Freud during the day and enter the world of fashion
the day and enter the world of fashion
the day and enter the world of fashion and night then came the day that would
and night then came the day that would
and night then came the day that would change my life
change my life
change my life in more ways than I could ever imagine
in more ways than I could ever imagine
in more ways than I could ever imagine you see it started off as a normal
you see it started off as a normal
you see it started off as a normal weekend my fiance he came up for a visit
weekend my fiance he came up for a visit
weekend my fiance he came up for a visit and we were at dinner I was being the
and we were at dinner I was being the
and we were at dinner I was being the typical bride-to-be you know a Chatty
typical bride-to-be you know a Chatty
typical bride-to-be you know a Chatty Cathy and I would talk about you know
Cathy and I would talk about you know
Cathy and I would talk about you know the guest lists and the bridesmaids and
the guest lists and the bridesmaids and
the guest lists and the bridesmaids and the colors and all that fun stuff but I
the colors and all that fun stuff but I
the colors and all that fun stuff but I noticed that he wasn’t really engaging
noticed that he wasn’t really engaging
noticed that he wasn’t really engaging with me though believe it or not he was
with me though believe it or not he was
with me though believe it or not he was a bit more riskier than usual
a bit more riskier than usual
a bit more riskier than usual so I kept chatting on and on and on and
so I kept chatting on and on and on and
so I kept chatting on and on and on and dinner finished and we head home and I
dinner finished and we head home and I
dinner finished and we head home and I was wondering was he okay was with
was wondering was he okay was with
was wondering was he okay was with everything all right what had happened
everything all right what had happened
everything all right what had happened and it turns out he wasn’t okay and on
and it turns out he wasn’t okay and on
and it turns out he wasn’t okay and on that night my fiancee sexually assaulted
that night my fiancee sexually assaulted
that night my fiancee sexually assaulted me the man that I was willing to spend
me the man that I was willing to spend
me the man that I was willing to spend the rest of my life with raped me I
passed out and when I came to I was in
passed out and when I came to I was in utter disbelief I could not believe that
utter disbelief I could not believe that
utter disbelief I could not believe that this had happened to me me I was in so
this had happened to me me I was in so
this had happened to me me I was in so much shock that I ran out of my
much shock that I ran out of my
much shock that I ran out of my apartment and I called my parents and I
apartment and I called my parents and I
apartment and I called my parents and I told them what had happened and they
told them what had happened and they
told them what had happened and they said dawn what do you want to do what do
said dawn what do you want to do what do
said dawn what do you want to do what do you want us to do and although my
you want us to do and although my
you want us to do and although my parents knew that I loved him very much
parents knew that I loved him very much
parents knew that I loved him very much they also knew the law and so I didn’t
they also knew the law and so I didn’t
they also knew the law and so I didn’t want them to do anything I didn’t want
want them to do anything I didn’t want
want them to do anything I didn’t want to do anything I just wanted to continue
to do anything I just wanted to continue
to do anything I just wanted to continue on with my life I just wanted to move on
on with my life I just wanted to move on
on with my life I just wanted to move on and so I hung up the phone and I walked
and so I hung up the phone and I walked
and so I hung up the phone and I walked back to my apartment and my fiance he
back to my apartment and my fiance he
back to my apartment and my fiance he began and apologizing to me profusely
began and apologizing to me profusely
began and apologizing to me profusely over and over again and I I told him
over and over again and I I told him
over and over again and I I told him that the engagement was often that I
that the engagement was often that I
that the engagement was often that I never wanted to see him again and so the
never wanted to see him again and so the
never wanted to see him again and so the next morning he boarded a bus back to
next morning he boarded a bus back to
next morning he boarded a bus back to Ohio to my surprise I heard a knock at
Ohio to my surprise I heard a knock at
Ohio to my surprise I heard a knock at the door and I was hoping that it was it
the door and I was hoping that it was it
the door and I was hoping that it was it was my fiancee begging me to come come
was my fiancee begging me to come come
was my fiancee begging me to come come back to him and and for me to put back
back to him and and for me to put back
back to him and and for me to put back on the engagement but I opened the door
on the engagement but I opened the door
on the engagement but I opened the door and it was the police you see my parents
and it was the police you see my parents
and it was the police you see my parents had called the police all the way from
had called the police all the way from
had called the police all the way from Ohio and so I was forced to file a
Ohio and so I was forced to file a
Ohio and so I was forced to file a police report and so the police asked
police report and so the police asked
police report and so the police asked dawn would you like to press charges and
dawn would you like to press charges and
dawn would you like to press charges and how could I press charges against the
how could I press charges against the
how could I press charges against the man that I loved and so again I told
man that I loved and so again I told
man that I loved and so again I told them no I just want to I don’t want to
them no I just want to I don’t want to
them no I just want to I don’t want to do anything I just want to move on with
do anything I just want to move on with
do anything I just want to move on with my life and so they said okay
my life and so they said okay
my life and so they said okay and they left and I went to my closet
and they left and I went to my closet
and they left and I went to my closet and I picked out one of the best outfits
and I picked out one of the best outfits
and I picked out one of the best outfits that I had ever owned and the next
that I had ever owned and the next
that I had ever owned and the next morning I put that outfit on and
morning I put that outfit on and
morning I put that outfit on and I went to class as if nothing had
I went to class as if nothing had
I went to class as if nothing had happened as if I had a normal weekend
happened as if I had a normal weekend
happened as if I had a normal weekend you see I pushed myself to forget and
you see I pushed myself to forget and
you see I pushed myself to forget and forget and I did my best and I thought I
forget and I did my best and I thought I
forget and I did my best and I thought I was doing a great job but I noticed that
was doing a great job but I noticed that
was doing a great job but I noticed that I was a bit more withdrawn and if I was
I was a bit more withdrawn and if I was
I was a bit more withdrawn and if I was noticing that I know my professors were
noticing that I know my professors were
noticing that I know my professors were noticing as well and so on separate
noticing as well and so on separate
noticing as well and so on separate occasions they called me into their
occasions they called me into their
occasions they called me into their office one by one
office one by one
office one by one and they told me they said John Karen
and they told me they said John Karen
and they told me they said John Karen you’re not really connecting with your
you’re not really connecting with your
you’re not really connecting with your clients they said in but so many words
clients they said in but so many words
clients they said in but so many words that I lacked the empathy to be a
that I lacked the empathy to be a
that I lacked the empathy to be a traditional therapist I felt like a
traditional therapist I felt like a
traditional therapist I felt like a failure and later than they went on to
failure and later than they went on to
failure and later than they went on to give me a suggestion and said perhaps
give me a suggestion and said perhaps
give me a suggestion and said perhaps you need to take a leave of absence to
you need to take a leave of absence to
you need to take a leave of absence to get yourself together
get yourself together
get yourself together again I felt like a failure I could not
again I felt like a failure I could not
again I felt like a failure I could not return to Ohio I had lost my fiancee I
return to Ohio I had lost my fiancee I
return to Ohio I had lost my fiancee I lost everything what was I supposed to
lost everything what was I supposed to
lost everything what was I supposed to do so you know what I got a job as a
do so you know what I got a job as a
do so you know what I got a job as a nanny a nanny me a nanny and so I began
nanny a nanny me a nanny and so I began
nanny a nanny me a nanny and so I began working with the most imaginative kind
working with the most imaginative kind
working with the most imaginative kind gentle soul this seven year old boy and
gentle soul this seven year old boy and
gentle soul this seven year old boy and he brought so much joy into my life at
he brought so much joy into my life at
he brought so much joy into my life at that time we would do a lot of pretend
that time we would do a lot of pretend
that time we would do a lot of pretend playing and on one particular day he
playing and on one particular day he
playing and on one particular day he would say miss don’t miss don’t miss
would say miss don’t miss don’t miss
would say miss don’t miss don’t miss dawn I want to be a pilot when I grow up
dawn I want to be a pilot when I grow up
dawn I want to be a pilot when I grow up can I be a pilot and I would say yeah
can I be a pilot and I would say yeah
can I be a pilot and I would say yeah that’s really sure you can be whatever
that’s really sure you can be whatever
that’s really sure you can be whatever you want to be and so we would get on
you want to be and so we would get on
you want to be and so we would get on the number one train and we would
the number one train and we would
the number one train and we would pretend to be pilots soaring high into
pretend to be pilots soaring high into
pretend to be pilots soaring high into the sky and on the second day he would
the sky and on the second day he would
the sky and on the second day he would say mister mister mister can I be an
say mister mister mister can I be an
say mister mister mister can I be an astronaut today and I would say yes
astronaut today and I would say yes
astronaut today and I would say yes honey you can be whatever you want to be
honey you can be whatever you want to be
honey you can be whatever you want to be and so we would get on the number one
and so we would get on the number one
and so we would get on the number one train and we would be holding onto the
train and we would be holding onto the
train and we would be holding onto the poles and soaring into outer space and
poles and soaring into outer space and
poles and soaring into outer space and we would come back to earth only when we
we would come back to earth only when we
we would come back to earth only when we got to the last stop
got to the last stop
got to the last stop and so on the third day he said miss
and so on the third day he said miss
and so on the third day he said miss dawn miss time what do you want to be
dawn miss time what do you want to be
dawn miss time what do you want to be when you grow up and I had no idea I was
when you grow up and I had no idea I was
when you grow up and I had no idea I was honestly had no idea and so I went home
honestly had no idea and so I went home
honestly had no idea and so I went home and per my usual I called my dad and I
and per my usual I called my dad and I
and per my usual I called my dad and I said dad you know I had a an interesting
said dad you know I had a an interesting
said dad you know I had a an interesting conversation with you know my my young
conversation with you know my my young
conversation with you know my my young boy and and he asked me what did I want
boy and and he asked me what did I want
boy and and he asked me what did I want to be when when I grew up and and so I
to be when when I grew up and and so I
to be when when I grew up and and so I knew I didn’t want to be a nanny and my
knew I didn’t want to be a nanny and my
knew I didn’t want to be a nanny and my father he encouraged me to explore what
father he encouraged me to explore what
father he encouraged me to explore what did I want to be and so I began
did I want to be and so I began
did I want to be and so I began revealing to him that while at Columbia
revealing to him that while at Columbia
revealing to him that while at Columbia University I was inspired by a professor
University I was inspired by a professor
University I was inspired by a professor who was pioneering the multicultural
who was pioneering the multicultural
who was pioneering the multicultural psychology field and I said maybe I can
psychology field and I said maybe I can
psychology field and I said maybe I can do something that like that like after
do something that like that like after
do something that like that like after all people who had came out of you know
all people who had came out of you know
all people who had came out of you know Ivy League universities they’ve done
Ivy League universities they’ve done
Ivy League universities they’ve done like some amazing things you know
like some amazing things you know
like some amazing things you know they’ve done innovative things
they’ve done innovative things
they’ve done innovative things revolutionary things and maybe I could
revolutionary things and maybe I could
revolutionary things and maybe I could be a part of that and so my father told
be a part of that and so my father told
be a part of that and so my father told me to do some research and so I was
me to do some research and so I was
me to do some research and so I was doing my research and I stumbled upon a
doing my research and I stumbled upon a
doing my research and I stumbled upon a professor at Harvard University who in
professor at Harvard University who in
professor at Harvard University who in the 19th century illuminated this notion
the 19th century illuminated this notion
the 19th century illuminated this notion of fashion psychology he was one of the
of fashion psychology he was one of the
of fashion psychology he was one of the first professors from the first persons
first professors from the first persons
first professors from the first persons to illuminate this notion
to illuminate this notion
to illuminate this notion his name was William James and so I had
his name was William James and so I had
his name was William James and so I had this epiphany like perhaps I could
this epiphany like perhaps I could
this epiphany like perhaps I could continue where he left off and so I
continue where he left off and so I
continue where he left off and so I landed a second job writing magazines
landed a second job writing magazines
landed a second job writing magazines and thus began my career as a fashion
and thus began my career as a fashion
and thus began my career as a fashion psychologist I ended up traveling to the
psychologist I ended up traveling to the
psychologist I ended up traveling to the Middle East and living out there for
Middle East and living out there for
Middle East and living out there for nine months and I was working alongside
nine months and I was working alongside
nine months and I was working alongside journalists doing media interviews after
journalists doing media interviews after
journalists doing media interviews after media interview and I was doing them as
media interview and I was doing them as
media interview and I was doing them as far as Australia all the way to Asia and
far as Australia all the way to Asia and
far as Australia all the way to Asia and I ended up in about 25 countries and so
I ended up in about 25 countries and so
I ended up in about 25 countries and so I said hmm I think I got something
I said hmm I think I got something
I said hmm I think I got something and so when I felt completed I took a
and so when I felt completed I took a
and so when I felt completed I took a plane back to New York and I end up
plane back to New York and I end up
plane back to New York and I end up receiving a position as one of the
receiving a position as one of the
receiving a position as one of the youngest professors here at MIT at the
youngest professors here at MIT at the
youngest professors here at MIT at the Fashion Institute of Technology and so
Fashion Institute of Technology and so
Fashion Institute of Technology and so as I look back on my journey I couldn’t
as I look back on my journey I couldn’t
as I look back on my journey I couldn’t help but to wonder why on one of the
help but to wonder why on one of the
help but to wonder why on one of the most horrific weekends of my life did I
most horrific weekends of my life did I
most horrific weekends of my life did I want to wear one of my best outfits what
want to wear one of my best outfits what
want to wear one of my best outfits what was that all about like what was I
was that all about like what was I
was that all about like what was I trying to achieve and so in a sense I
trying to achieve and so in a sense I
trying to achieve and so in a sense I had become a client as a therapist I had
had become a client as a therapist I had
had become a client as a therapist I had become a client so I bet you’re
become a client so I bet you’re
become a client so I bet you’re wondering what is the difference between
wondering what is the difference between
wondering what is the difference between a fashion stylist in the fashions
a fashion stylist in the fashions
a fashion stylist in the fashions psychologists right so a fashion stylist
psychologists right so a fashion stylist
psychologists right so a fashion stylist seeks to dress you and what looks good
seeks to dress you and what looks good
seeks to dress you and what looks good on you according to your body type
on you according to your body type
on you according to your body type dresses you on according to season
dresses you on according to season
dresses you on according to season according to trend but as a fashion
according to trend but as a fashion
according to trend but as a fashion psychologist you see I would dress you
psychologist you see I would dress you
psychologist you see I would dress you and I would get to the roots of why you
and I would get to the roots of why you
and I would get to the roots of why you wear what you wear and how that impacts
wear what you wear and how that impacts
wear what you wear and how that impacts you in your everyday life so let me give
you in your everyday life so let me give
you in your everyday life so let me give you an example when I was in the Middle
you an example when I was in the Middle
you an example when I was in the Middle East I had a client and she particularly
East I had a client and she particularly
East I had a client and she particularly lived in Abu Dhabi and so she wore the
lived in Abu Dhabi and so she wore the
lived in Abu Dhabi and so she wore the traditional abaya which is a long black
traditional abaya which is a long black
traditional abaya which is a long black cloak and she struggled with some
cloak and she struggled with some
cloak and she struggled with some identity issue she didn’t really feel
identity issue she didn’t really feel
identity issue she didn’t really feel like herself which she would travel to
like herself which she would travel to
like herself which she would travel to Europe she would wear more revealing
Europe she would wear more revealing
Europe she would wear more revealing clothing and when she would return she
clothing and when she would return she
clothing and when she would return she would put back on her
would put back on her
would put back on her Abhaya and so she really felt
Abhaya and so she really felt
Abhaya and so she really felt inauthentic she felt incongruent and so
inauthentic she felt incongruent and so
inauthentic she felt incongruent and so I began counseling her to get to the
I began counseling her to get to the
I began counseling her to get to the root of her issues and we later placed
root of her issues and we later placed
root of her issues and we later placed her and some elaborate pretty fancy
her and some elaborate pretty fancy
her and some elaborate pretty fancy scarves and we placed her in some
scarves and we placed her in some
scarves and we placed her in some fashions that was reminiscent of what
fashions that was reminiscent of what
fashions that was reminiscent of what Western women wore in the 1950s and
Western women wore in the 1950s and
Western women wore in the 1950s and 1960s similar to Jackie O and over time
1960s similar to Jackie O and over time
1960s similar to Jackie O and over time she began to tell me that she felt like
she began to tell me that she felt like
she began to tell me that she felt like she was being her true self she felt
she was being her true self she felt
she was being her true self she felt like she was being authentic like
like she was being authentic like
like she was being authentic like or some congruence on from the inside
or some congruence on from the inside
or some congruence on from the inside out and so like many things around you
out and so like many things around you
out and so like many things around you clothing can be used to help you feel
clothing can be used to help you feel
clothing can be used to help you feel better according to researchers and
better according to researchers and
better according to researchers and Queensland Business School they
Queensland Business School they
Queensland Business School they interview participants and people
interview participants and people
interview participants and people actually did say they use clothing to
actually did say they use clothing to
actually did say they use clothing to help themselves feel better they
help themselves feel better they
help themselves feel better they actually said clothing reflected their
actually said clothing reflected their
actually said clothing reflected their mood and so I had an idea to coin two
mood and so I had an idea to coin two
mood and so I had an idea to coin two theories they’re called mood
theories they’re called mood
theories they’re called mood illustration dress and mood enhancement
illustration dress and mood enhancement
illustration dress and mood enhancement dress so how does this all work so
dress so how does this all work so
dress so how does this all work so basically I tell my students and my
basically I tell my students and my
basically I tell my students and my clients you know to get off autopilot
clients you know to get off autopilot
clients you know to get off autopilot you know you you when you’re on
you know you you when you’re on
you know you you when you’re on autopilot you usually go to your closet
autopilot you usually go to your closet
autopilot you usually go to your closet you trash your room because you have
you trash your room because you have
you trash your room because you have nothing to wear but there’s like a slew
nothing to wear but there’s like a slew
nothing to wear but there’s like a slew of clothes everywhere so what I told
of clothes everywhere so what I told
of clothes everywhere so what I told them to do is censor themselves before
them to do is censor themselves before
them to do is censor themselves before they place their feet on the ground
they place their feet on the ground
they place their feet on the ground lying in bed and ask yourself self how
lying in bed and ask yourself self how
lying in bed and ask yourself self how am I feeling today and most of you guys
am I feeling today and most of you guys
am I feeling today and most of you guys don’t do that so how are you feeling
don’t do that so how are you feeling
don’t do that so how are you feeling today
today
today so in particular I was feeling I woke up
so in particular I was feeling I woke up
so in particular I was feeling I woke up on the wrong side of the bed I was
on the wrong side of the bed I was
on the wrong side of the bed I was having a bad morning and I had to
having a bad morning and I had to
having a bad morning and I had to lecture on this particular day and I
lecture on this particular day and I
lecture on this particular day and I wanted to wear sweats but you know you
wanted to wear sweats but you know you
wanted to wear sweats but you know you can’t wear a sweat to the professor so I
can’t wear a sweat to the professor so I
can’t wear a sweat to the professor so I was wearing sweats and I said perhaps if
was wearing sweats and I said perhaps if
was wearing sweats and I said perhaps if I paired it with some leopard heels and
I paired it with some leopard heels and
I paired it with some leopard heels and an elaborate coat
an elaborate coat
an elaborate coat perhaps that would make me feel better
perhaps that would make me feel better
perhaps that would make me feel better and so I performed my lecture and
and so I performed my lecture and
and so I performed my lecture and actually improved my move now this may
actually improved my move now this may
actually improved my move now this may not work for all of you but I love
not work for all of you but I love
not work for all of you but I love leopard heels and I love to become to
leopard heels and I love to become to
leopard heels and I love to become to all my sweats and look at me
all my sweats and look at me
all my sweats and look at me you don’t look happy so today I am here
you don’t look happy so today I am here
you don’t look happy so today I am here and I can tell you that I returned to
and I can tell you that I returned to
and I can tell you that I returned to Columbia University to finish what I
Columbia University to finish what I
Columbia University to finish what I started and and I was able to found the
started and and I was able to found the
started and and I was able to found the first-ever online institution dedicated
first-ever online institution dedicated
first-ever online institution dedicated to disseminating and teaching the
to disseminating and teaching the
to disseminating and teaching the fashion psychology field and I
fashion psychology field and I
fashion psychology field and I ultimately want my students and my
ultimately want my students and my
ultimately want my students and my clients to learn how to style from the
clients to learn how to style from the
clients to learn how to style from the inside out
inside out
inside out as a fashion psychologist now that
as a fashion psychologist now that
as a fashion psychologist now that horrific moment could have been a
horrific moment could have been a
horrific moment could have been a defining moment it could have been
defining moment it could have been
defining moment it could have been defined by the hurt that I felt but
defined by the hurt that I felt but
defined by the hurt that I felt but instead I used it to inspire me and for
instead I used it to inspire me and for
instead I used it to inspire me and for that I am healed thank you
that I am healed thank you
that I am healed thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment