so I’ve lived in China for about six years now and I know what you’re
years now and I know what you’re
years now and I know what you’re thinking out there you’re sitting there
thinking out there you’re sitting there
thinking out there you’re sitting there you’re thinking six years yeah he must
you’re thinking six years yeah he must
you’re thinking six years yeah he must be crazy by now right well you might be
be crazy by now right well you might be
be crazy by now right well you might be right about me being a little bit crazy
right about me being a little bit crazy
right about me being a little bit crazy but I don’t think that’s from having
but I don’t think that’s from having
but I don’t think that’s from having lived here for so long but the way
lived here for so long but the way
lived here for so long but the way living abroad can treat you sometimes
living abroad can treat you sometimes
living abroad can treat you sometimes it’s not an unreasonable conclusion to
it’s not an unreasonable conclusion to
it’s not an unreasonable conclusion to come to living abroad is just it can be
come to living abroad is just it can be
come to living abroad is just it can be hard and living in China especially I
hard and living in China especially I
hard and living in China especially I think there’s a very unique set of
think there’s a very unique set of
think there’s a very unique set of challenges here that can face it would
challenges here that can face it would
challenges here that can face it would be expat I’ll just name the most obvious
be expat I’ll just name the most obvious
be expat I’ll just name the most obvious – first one of course is language
– first one of course is language
– first one of course is language considered by a lot of people to be
considered by a lot of people to be
considered by a lot of people to be extremely difficult to learn and the
extremely difficult to learn and the
extremely difficult to learn and the second one is culture Chinese people can
second one is culture Chinese people can
second one is culture Chinese people can be very welcoming but you can tell that
be very welcoming but you can tell that
be very welcoming but you can tell that there’s a certain sort of skepticism
there’s a certain sort of skepticism
there’s a certain sort of skepticism about so many foreign people coming into
about so many foreign people coming into
about so many foreign people coming into their country so if you’re not quite
their country so if you’re not quite
their country so if you’re not quite sure about what I’m talking about
sure about what I’m talking about
sure about what I’m talking about allow me to illustrate this for you for
allow me to illustrate this for you for
allow me to illustrate this for you for a second every year
a second every year
a second every year HSBC does something called the expat
HSBC does something called the expat
HSBC does something called the expat Explorer survey what this is is they
Explorer survey what this is is they
Explorer survey what this is is they pull expatriates from all around the
pull expatriates from all around the
pull expatriates from all around the world they ask them about things like
world they ask them about things like
world they ask them about things like their economic climate their quality of
their economic climate their quality of
their economic climate their quality of life and they take all of these rankings
life and they take all of these rankings
life and they take all of these rankings and this past year turned it into a top
and this past year turned it into a top
and this past year turned it into a top 45 list of the best countries for an
45 list of the best countries for an
45 list of the best countries for an expat to live in so I’d like to ask you
expat to live in so I’d like to ask you
expat to live in so I’d like to ask you guys in the audience real quick where do
guys in the audience real quick where do
guys in the audience real quick where do you think China came in okay we had we
you think China came in okay we had we
you think China came in okay we had we had 10th anyone else first very
had 10th anyone else first very
had 10th anyone else first very confident
xxxiv yeah now that that does sound kind
xxxiv yeah now that that does sound kind of bad but just let me give you a little
of bad but just let me give you a little
of bad but just let me give you a little bit of context the US was only 30th so I
bit of context the US was only 30th so I
bit of context the US was only 30th so I guess that’s a matter of perspective so
guess that’s a matter of perspective so
guess that’s a matter of perspective so the upside of living in China is that in
the upside of living in China is that in
the upside of living in China is that in economics related things
economics related things
economics related things China scored very high amongst expats so
China scored very high amongst expats so
China scored very high amongst expats so career progression entrepreneurship the
career progression entrepreneurship the
career progression entrepreneurship the ability to save money and disposable
ability to save money and disposable
ability to save money and disposable income we’re all pretty high that’s the
income we’re all pretty high that’s the
income we’re all pretty high that’s the good stuff but the downside was a lot of
good stuff but the downside was a lot of
good stuff but the downside was a lot of the stuff outside of work
the stuff outside of work
the stuff outside of work so overall experience
so overall experience
so overall experience China was ranked 44th out of 45 for
China was ranked 44th out of 45 for
China was ranked 44th out of 45 for integration meaning how well you can
integration meaning how well you can
integration meaning how well you can integrate into the culture 41st for
integrate into the culture 41st for
integrate into the culture 41st for work-life balance 42nd and overall
work-life balance 42nd and overall
work-life balance 42nd and overall quality of life again
quality of life again
quality of life again 44th so these things kind of combine and
44th so these things kind of combine and
44th so these things kind of combine and make it a somewhat irresistible place
make it a somewhat irresistible place
make it a somewhat irresistible place for career minded people to come and try
for career minded people to come and try
for career minded people to come and try and push their career forward but
and push their career forward but
and push their career forward but outside of that being here for a lot of
outside of that being here for a lot of
outside of that being here for a lot of expats seems like it’s very harsh it’s
expats seems like it’s very harsh it’s
expats seems like it’s very harsh it’s just the fact of the matter when you see
just the fact of the matter when you see
just the fact of the matter when you see people who’ve lived here for a while you
people who’ve lived here for a while you
people who’ve lived here for a while you can kind of see it on their face that
can kind of see it on their face that
can kind of see it on their face that that idea that I kind of need to be here
that idea that I kind of need to be here
that idea that I kind of need to be here but I’m not necessarily enjoying myself
but I’m not necessarily enjoying myself
but I’m not necessarily enjoying myself so what’s the difference between say
so what’s the difference between say
so what’s the difference between say someone like me I’ve stuck it out for
someone like me I’ve stuck it out for
someone like me I’ve stuck it out for six years and someone who gets fed up
six years and someone who gets fed up
six years and someone who gets fed up and flees China in the middle of the
and flees China in the middle of the
and flees China in the middle of the night like it’s Shawshank I wish I had
night like it’s Shawshank I wish I had
night like it’s Shawshank I wish I had an easy answer but I don’t unfortunately
an easy answer but I don’t unfortunately
an easy answer but I don’t unfortunately you know for some of you in the audience
you know for some of you in the audience
you know for some of you in the audience who have might have been here around as
who have might have been here around as
who have might have been here around as long as I have I’m sure you’ve heard the
long as I have I’m sure you’ve heard the
long as I have I’m sure you’ve heard the questions from back home how did you
questions from back home how did you
questions from back home how did you adjust how do you cope
is it hard and goes on and I kind of
is it hard and goes on and I kind of give them the same answer that I just
give them the same answer that I just
give them the same answer that I just gave you you laughed you laugh thank you
gave you you laughed you laugh thank you
gave you you laughed you laugh thank you but I see a couple of skeptical faces in
but I see a couple of skeptical faces in
but I see a couple of skeptical faces in the audience and that’s because the
the audience and that’s because the
the audience and that’s because the shrug is a terrible terrible answer but
shrug is a terrible terrible answer but
shrug is a terrible terrible answer but I have done some thinking about this and
I have done some thinking about this and
I have done some thinking about this and I think that the shrug might be one of
I think that the shrug might be one of
I think that the shrug might be one of the secrets to survival as an expatriate
the secrets to survival as an expatriate
the secrets to survival as an expatriate so let’s talk about the shrug what does
so let’s talk about the shrug what does
so let’s talk about the shrug what does it mean when you shrug well we’re just
it mean when you shrug well we’re just
it mean when you shrug well we’re just going to talk about three
going to talk about three
going to talk about three interpretations today okay the first one
interpretations today okay the first one
interpretations today okay the first one I don’t know the second whatever and
I don’t know the second whatever and
I don’t know the second whatever and then the third shrug it off right so now
then the third shrug it off right so now
then the third shrug it off right so now let’s take those three things and let’s
let’s take those three things and let’s
let’s take those three things and let’s reinterpret them in the context of expat
reinterpret them in the context of expat
reinterpret them in the context of expat life okay so let’s start with the first
life okay so let’s start with the first
life okay so let’s start with the first no no okay what is I don’t know but just
no no okay what is I don’t know but just
no no okay what is I don’t know but just an opportunity to learn okay I’m gonna
an opportunity to learn okay I’m gonna
an opportunity to learn okay I’m gonna tell you a story from one of my first
tell you a story from one of my first
tell you a story from one of my first nights in country one of my first nights
nights in country one of my first nights
nights in country one of my first nights in China six years ago some co-workers
in China six years ago some co-workers
in China six years ago some co-workers took me out to a restaurant it’s a nice
took me out to a restaurant it’s a nice
took me out to a restaurant it’s a nice little place you know we had hotpot
little place you know we had hotpot
little place you know we had hotpot great communal dish here and sometime
great communal dish here and sometime
great communal dish here and sometime during the meal a couple of grown
during the meal a couple of grown
during the meal a couple of grown Chinese men I’m gonna say 40-ish were
Chinese men I’m gonna say 40-ish were
Chinese men I’m gonna say 40-ish were wrestling in the aisles like not only
wrestling in the aisles like not only
wrestling in the aisles like not only not like a little bit like full-on
not like a little bit like full-on
not like a little bit like full-on WrestleMania going for it and I was
WrestleMania going for it and I was
WrestleMania going for it and I was shocked
shocked
shocked I know it’s make of that because my
I know it’s make of that because my
I know it’s make of that because my upbringing in Western culture would have
upbringing in Western culture would have
upbringing in Western culture would have led me to believe that they were in an
led me to believe that they were in an
led me to believe that they were in an argument that escalated very very high
argument that escalated very very high
argument that escalated very very high but that wasn’t the case you know what
but that wasn’t the case you know what
but that wasn’t the case you know what they were arguing about they were
they were arguing about they were
they were arguing about they were fighting over who got to pay the bill
fighting over who got to pay the bill
fighting over who got to pay the bill yeah he knows he knows
yeah he knows he knows
yeah he knows he knows okay in the u.s. we fight to not pay the
okay in the u.s. we fight to not pay the
okay in the u.s. we fight to not pay the bill so this is just totally outside my
bill so this is just totally outside my
bill so this is just totally outside my experience it’s pretty silly it’s a
experience it’s pretty silly it’s a
experience it’s pretty silly it’s a little bit silly and of course not all
little bit silly and of course not all
little bit silly and of course not all Chinese people are wrestling each other
Chinese people are wrestling each other
Chinese people are wrestling each other to give each other their money but it
to give each other their money but it
to give each other their money but it became my first lesson in two very
became my first lesson in two very
became my first lesson in two very important Chinese social elements that
important Chinese social elements that
important Chinese social elements that being guanxi the relationship you have
being guanxi the relationship you have
being guanxi the relationship you have with another person and me Enza
with another person and me Enza
with another person and me Enza sometimes translated as face i like this
sometimes translated as face i like this
sometimes translated as face i like this : response is good otherwise known as
: response is good otherwise known as
: response is good otherwise known as your reputation with someone else and if
your reputation with someone else and if
your reputation with someone else and if I hadn’t asked someone about that I too
I hadn’t asked someone about that I too
I hadn’t asked someone about that I too just continued under the assumption like
just continued under the assumption like
just continued under the assumption like man Chinese people really like fighting
man Chinese people really like fighting
man Chinese people really like fighting in restaurants huh
now I don’t unfortunately I don’t really
now I don’t unfortunately I don’t really mix with the Chinese as much as I should
mix with the Chinese as much as I should
mix with the Chinese as much as I should you know I feel the next pad it’s on me
you know I feel the next pad it’s on me
you know I feel the next pad it’s on me to try and interact but if the
to try and interact but if the
to try and interact but if the forty-first and integrate in integration
forty-first and integrate in integration
forty-first and integrate in integration is any indication you know you might
is any indication you know you might
is any indication you know you might understand a little bit why it’s
understand a little bit why it’s
understand a little bit why it’s difficult for me sometimes but I do in
difficult for me sometimes but I do in
difficult for me sometimes but I do in the absence of that try and keep an
the absence of that try and keep an
the absence of that try and keep an active curiosity about the way the
active curiosity about the way the
active curiosity about the way the locals think and interact because it’s
locals think and interact because it’s
locals think and interact because it’s very important that you do if you have
very important that you do if you have
very important that you do if you have no frame of reference for how things
no frame of reference for how things
no frame of reference for how things work locally then you’re just going to
work locally then you’re just going to
work locally then you’re just going to keep thinking that what people are doing
keep thinking that what people are doing
keep thinking that what people are doing around you is weird or rude or malicious
around you is weird or rude or malicious
around you is weird or rude or malicious and sometimes it’s just not that way
so let’s move on to the second whatever
so let’s move on to the second whatever that we’re back to shrugging back to
that we’re back to shrugging back to
that we’re back to shrugging back to shrugging my shrug with me no all right
shrugging my shrug with me no all right
shrugging my shrug with me no all right so whatever kind of fits my personality
so whatever kind of fits my personality
so whatever kind of fits my personality pretty well I am NOT super excited but
pretty well I am NOT super excited but
pretty well I am NOT super excited but some of my more optimistic friends would
some of my more optimistic friends would
some of my more optimistic friends would call this being a yes-man and what this
call this being a yes-man and what this
call this being a yes-man and what this is about is about being open to new
is about is about being open to new
is about is about being open to new experiences another little anecdote from
experiences another little anecdote from
experiences another little anecdote from my life a few weeks ago so now we’re up
my life a few weeks ago so now we’re up
my life a few weeks ago so now we’re up to 2016 I was just at home nothing to do
to 2016 I was just at home nothing to do
to 2016 I was just at home nothing to do a Chinese friend calls me and he says
a Chinese friend calls me and he says
a Chinese friend calls me and he says Tim do you want to be in a kung fu movie
yeah so a couple hours later I was
yeah so a couple hours later I was actually I think I wore this and I was a
actually I think I wore this and I was a
actually I think I wore this and I was a stern American boss in an amateur
stern American boss in an amateur
stern American boss in an amateur kung-fu movie that was just one day but
kung-fu movie that was just one day but
kung-fu movie that was just one day but people have little experiences like this
people have little experiences like this
people have little experiences like this all the time if they keep an open mind
all the time if they keep an open mind
all the time if they keep an open mind to them there are other people here who
to them there are other people here who
to them there are other people here who play in bands they write books they
play in bands they write books they
play in bands they write books they moonlight as models they start clubs and
moonlight as models they start clubs and
moonlight as models they start clubs and organizations they discover local art
organizations they discover local art
organizations they discover local art and music and all kinds of other stuff
and music and all kinds of other stuff
and music and all kinds of other stuff the happiest people I know here are the
the happiest people I know here are the
the happiest people I know here are the ones who are always shocking their
ones who are always shocking their
ones who are always shocking their routine with new and different
routine with new and different
routine with new and different experiences and I find that the opposite
experiences and I find that the opposite
experiences and I find that the opposite is true as well
is true as well
is true as well so let’s move on to the third the third
so let’s move on to the third the third
so let’s move on to the third the third shrug shrugging it off right now at the
shrug shrugging it off right now at the
shrug shrugging it off right now at the risk of being cliche which shrug it off
risk of being cliche which shrug it off
risk of being cliche which shrug it off really comes down to is that old
really comes down to is that old
really comes down to is that old serenity prayer grant me the serenity to
serenity prayer grant me the serenity to
serenity prayer grant me the serenity to deal with the things I can’t change the
deal with the things I can’t change the
deal with the things I can’t change the courage to deal with the things I can
courage to deal with the things I can
courage to deal with the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference
and the wisdom to know the difference
and the wisdom to know the difference okay and this kind of ties into the
okay and this kind of ties into the
okay and this kind of ties into the first part about understanding the
first part about understanding the
first part about understanding the locals okay because if you don’t
locals okay because if you don’t
locals okay because if you don’t understand the locals you can’t pick
understand the locals you can’t pick
understand the locals you can’t pick your battles and if you can’t pick your
your battles and if you can’t pick your
your battles and if you can’t pick your battles then they all become battles and
battles then they all become battles and
battles then they all become battles and what do we call a lot of battles thank
what do we call a lot of battles thank
what do we call a lot of battles thank you as a war and war all the time is
you as a war and war all the time is
you as a war and war all the time is just no way to live a good life so all
just no way to live a good life so all
just no way to live a good life so all that being said it’s it’s very easy for
that being said it’s it’s very easy for
that being said it’s it’s very easy for me to just say it to you undoubtedly
me to just say it to you undoubtedly
me to just say it to you undoubtedly there are a lot of different factors
there are a lot of different factors
there are a lot of different factors that will go into a person’s success or
that will go into a person’s success or
that will go into a person’s success or failure but in my opinion as an expat
failure but in my opinion as an expat
failure but in my opinion as an expat trying to create a perfect facsimile of
trying to create a perfect facsimile of
trying to create a perfect facsimile of your old life is merely a way of setting
your old life is merely a way of setting
your old life is merely a way of setting your expectations sky-high some places
your expectations sky-high some places
your expectations sky-high some places you might be able to even meet them but
you might be able to even meet them but
you might be able to even meet them but you’re still set up for immense amounts
you’re still set up for immense amounts
you’re still set up for immense amounts of disappointment put another way I
of disappointment put another way I
of disappointment put another way I think people should just care about
think people should just care about
think people should just care about where they are and be open-minded enough
where they are and be open-minded enough
where they are and be open-minded enough to discover that places unique charms
simple as that because no place is
simple as that because no place is really perfect is it no it’s really just
really perfect is it no it’s really just
really perfect is it no it’s really just a matter of perspective hey maybe you
a matter of perspective hey maybe you
a matter of perspective hey maybe you might have seen the this is an old
might have seen the this is an old
might have seen the this is an old optical illusion if you look at it one
optical illusion if you look at it one
optical illusion if you look at it one way is as ugly old woman if you look at
way is as ugly old woman if you look at
way is as ugly old woman if you look at it another it’s this young beautiful
it another it’s this young beautiful
it another it’s this young beautiful woman it’s the same way it’s all a
woman it’s the same way it’s all a
woman it’s the same way it’s all a matter of perspective my perspective has
matter of perspective my perspective has
matter of perspective my perspective has always been angled towards learning
always been angled towards learning
always been angled towards learning today what I didn’t yesterday and
today what I didn’t yesterday and
today what I didn’t yesterday and finding all the secrets of the place I
finding all the secrets of the place I
finding all the secrets of the place I call home you know because there’s no
call home you know because there’s no
call home you know because there’s no value in this great big world in trying
value in this great big world in trying
value in this great big world in trying to make it revolve around you it just
to make it revolve around you it just
to make it revolve around you it just end up disappointed so my advice to
end up disappointed so my advice to
end up disappointed so my advice to everyone new expat old expat if you’re
everyone new expat old expat if you’re
everyone new expat old expat if you’re struggling with it
struggling with it
struggling with it try and open your mind up again okay
try and open your mind up again okay
try and open your mind up again okay because no place is perfect you don’t
because no place is perfect you don’t
because no place is perfect you don’t have to love where you are all that’s
have to love where you are all that’s
have to love where you are all that’s required of you
required of you
required of you all that’s required of you is to keep an
all that’s required of you is to keep an
all that’s required of you is to keep an open mind and have a little tiny thrill
open mind and have a little tiny thrill
open mind and have a little tiny thrill of discovery even if that discovery is
of discovery even if that discovery is
of discovery even if that discovery is something mundane like the supermarket
something mundane like the supermarket
something mundane like the supermarket has cookies okay all that’s required of
has cookies okay all that’s required of
has cookies okay all that’s required of you is to shrug your shoulders and get
you is to shrug your shoulders and get
you is to shrug your shoulders and get going thank you
going thank you
going thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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