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Shared Principles for Wise-Decision Making | Gary Boelhower | TEDxFondduLac


our villages our cities our states our

our villages our cities our states our countries are becoming more diverse

countries are becoming more diverse

countries are becoming more diverse communities our communities are filled

communities our communities are filled

communities our communities are filled with people who speak many languages who

with people who speak many languages who

with people who speak many languages who celebrate out of many different

celebrate out of many different

celebrate out of many different spiritual traditions who use practices

spiritual traditions who use practices

spiritual traditions who use practices and rituals that come from many

and rituals that come from many

and rituals that come from many different cultures and sometimes when we

different cultures and sometimes when we

different cultures and sometimes when we face all of those differences we respond

face all of those differences we respond

face all of those differences we respond in fear or at least apprehension so in

in fear or at least apprehension so in

in fear or at least apprehension so in order to celebrate all of the

order to celebrate all of the

order to celebrate all of the differences of our diverse communities

differences of our diverse communities

differences of our diverse communities we also have to understand how we are

we also have to understand how we are

we also have to understand how we are connected with each other how we share

connected with each other how we share

connected with each other how we share the same principles that help us make

the same principles that help us make

the same principles that help us make wise decisions in whatever community we

wise decisions in whatever community we

wise decisions in whatever community we are part of over the last few

are part of over the last few

are part of over the last few generations we’ve been trying to change

generations we’ve been trying to change

generations we’ve been trying to change our fundamental metaphor for

our fundamental metaphor for

our fundamental metaphor for understanding community from the melting

understanding community from the melting

understanding community from the melting pot where we boil away all of the

pot where we boil away all of the

pot where we boil away all of the differences to get to one monoculture

differences to get to one monoculture

differences to get to one monoculture one way of thinking to the metaphor of

one way of thinking to the metaphor of

one way of thinking to the metaphor of the salad bowl where all of those

the salad bowl where all of those

the salad bowl where all of those delicious flavors are mixed together

delicious flavors are mixed together

delicious flavors are mixed together they’re all present there in their

they’re all present there in their

they’re all present there in their uniqueness but in the mixing we find

uniqueness but in the mixing we find

uniqueness but in the mixing we find that we have

that we have

that we have a richer community a more flavorful

a richer community a more flavorful

a richer community a more flavorful community than if we try to boil away

community than if we try to boil away

community than if we try to boil away the differences but in order to live in

the differences but in order to live in

the differences but in order to live in a salad bowl community where we truly

a salad bowl community where we truly

a salad bowl community where we truly appreciate all of those differences

appreciate all of those differences

appreciate all of those differences again we must try to understand the ways

again we must try to understand the ways

again we must try to understand the ways in which we share fundamental principles

in which we share fundamental principles

in which we share fundamental principles in about 40 years of teaching world

in about 40 years of teaching world

in about 40 years of teaching world religions and cultures I’ve begun to

religions and cultures I’ve begun to

religions and cultures I’ve begun to understand some of those foundational

understand some of those foundational

understand some of those foundational cross cultural cross religious cross

cross cultural cross religious cross

cross cultural cross religious cross ethnicities cross races commonalities

ethnicities cross races commonalities

ethnicities cross races commonalities and I’d like to share with you three of

and I’d like to share with you three of

and I’d like to share with you three of those this afternoon

those this afternoon

those this afternoon the first you might have heard of before

the first you might have heard of before

the first you might have heard of before respect all persons we’ve heard this in

respect all persons we’ve heard this in

respect all persons we’ve heard this in several other talks today it is so

several other talks today it is so

several other talks today it is so foundational if you look at the Great

foundational if you look at the Great

foundational if you look at the Great Eastern traditions of the world Hinduism

Eastern traditions of the world Hinduism

Eastern traditions of the world Hinduism and Buddhism and Jainism Taoism you find

and Buddhism and Jainism Taoism you find

and Buddhism and Jainism Taoism you find the principle at the core of those

the principle at the core of those

the principle at the core of those traditions the principle of ahimsa

traditions the principle of ahimsa

traditions the principle of ahimsa non-harming non-violence but that’s the

non-harming non-violence but that’s the

non-harming non-violence but that’s the negative way of stating it what it

negative way of stating it what it

negative way of stating it what it really means is respect the dignity the

really means is respect the dignity the

really means is respect the dignity the preciousness not only of every human

preciousness not only of every human

preciousness not only of every human being but every sentient being we’ve

being but every sentient being we’ve

being but every sentient being we’ve heard about the Golden Rule and the

heard about the Golden Rule and the

heard about the Golden Rule and the Platinum rule we find over all of our

Platinum rule we find over all of our

Platinum rule we find over all of our cultures and religious traditions of the

cultures and religious traditions of the

cultures and religious traditions of the world expressions of this fundamental

world expressions of this fundamental

world expressions of this fundamental rule to treat others the way they want

rule to treat others the way they want

rule to treat others the way they want to be treated to treat others with

to be treated to treat others with

to be treated to treat others with dignity to treat others like they matter

when we begin to see that this is a

when we begin to see that this is a shared principle a common principle that

shared principle a common principle that

shared principle a common principle that is part of all of our traditions then we

is part of all of our traditions then we

is part of all of our traditions then we begin to use it more fully in our own

begin to use it more fully in our own

begin to use it more fully in our own decision-making process whether that’s

decision-making process whether that’s

decision-making process whether that’s in our civic communities or in our

in our civic communities or in our

in our civic communities or in our workplaces we call in all of the

workplaces we call in all of the

workplaces we call in all of the stakeholders we intentionally invite

stakeholders we intentionally invite

stakeholders we intentionally invite those who are at the margins whose

those who are at the margins whose

those who are at the margins whose voices don’t always get heard those who

voices don’t always get heard those who

voices don’t always get heard those who are disenfranchised and we listen deeply

are disenfranchised and we listen deeply

are disenfranchised and we listen deeply to those stories and then in making the

to those stories and then in making the

to those stories and then in making the best decision we decide not what’s good

best decision we decide not what’s good

best decision we decide not what’s good for me or what’s good for my group or

for me or what’s good for my group or

for me or what’s good for my group or what’s good for my tribe but what’s good

what’s good for my tribe but what’s good

what’s good for my tribe but what’s good for the common human community I learned

for the common human community I learned

for the common human community I learned this in a unusual way as a child from my

this in a unusual way as a child from my

this in a unusual way as a child from my grandpa bull holler

grandpa bull holler

grandpa bull holler I learned that every story of a life is

I learned that every story of a life is

I learned that every story of a life is a precious story that every person might

a precious story that every person might

a precious story that every person might be thought of as a unique and individual

be thought of as a unique and individual

be thought of as a unique and individual story

story

story my grandpa bull Howard was Dutch he came

my grandpa bull Howard was Dutch he came

my grandpa bull Howard was Dutch he came from the old country some people thought

from the old country some people thought

from the old country some people thought of him as kind of a recalcitrant

of him as kind of a recalcitrant

of him as kind of a recalcitrant stubborn too serious kind of ornery guy

stubborn too serious kind of ornery guy

stubborn too serious kind of ornery guy he liked to do things his own way and he

he liked to do things his own way and he

he liked to do things his own way and he never actually learned English he

never actually learned English he

never actually learned English he learned a few words he got along but he

learned a few words he got along but he

learned a few words he got along but he mostly spoke Dutch and somehow even

mostly spoke Dutch and somehow even

mostly spoke Dutch and somehow even though I never learn Dutch he and I got

though I never learn Dutch he and I got

though I never learn Dutch he and I got along just fine I love to watch him work

along just fine I love to watch him work

along just fine I love to watch him work and work

and work

and work he did almost every day of his life

he did almost every day of his life

he did almost every day of his life until he died at a hundred and one he

until he died at a hundred and one he

until he died at a hundred and one he worked in his tar paper tool shed in the

worked in his tar paper tool shed in the

worked in his tar paper tool shed in the back yard and one of the things he did

back yard and one of the things he did

back yard and one of the things he did best was sharpen things everything had

best was sharpen things everything had

best was sharpen things everything had to be sharpened his axe head his Spade

to be sharpened his axe head his Spade

to be sharpened his axe head his Spade tip his hole and he grew amazing

tip his hole and he grew amazing

tip his hole and he grew amazing vegetables in his garden but every

vegetables in his garden but every

vegetables in his garden but every couple of weeks he would hold those

couple of weeks he would hold those

couple of weeks he would hold those implements of his work against that hard

implements of his work against that hard

implements of his work against that hard grinding stone and the sparks would fly

grinding stone and the sparks would fly

grinding stone and the sparks would fly off like splinters of lightning but then

off like splinters of lightning but then

off like splinters of lightning but then there was one day when he wouldn’t let

there was one day when he wouldn’t let

there was one day when he wouldn’t let me in when he was sharpening our skates

me in when he was sharpening our skates

me in when he was sharpening our skates to their most graceful edge it was a

to their most graceful edge it was a

to their most graceful edge it was a cold day in January and he left me

cold day in January and he left me

cold day in January and he left me standing outside the shed and I heard

standing outside the shed and I heard

standing outside the shed and I heard those shining skates sharpened he

those shining skates sharpened he

those shining skates sharpened he wouldn’t tell me why he wouldn’t let me

wouldn’t tell me why he wouldn’t let me

wouldn’t tell me why he wouldn’t let me in but mother told me after he came to

in but mother told me after he came to

in but mother told me after he came to America his youngest child a daughter

America his youngest child a daughter

America his youngest child a daughter was born like a promise in this new land

was born like a promise in this new land

was born like a promise in this new land but when she was four she became quite

but when she was four she became quite

but when she was four she became quite sick she was sick on Christmas and yet

sick she was sick on Christmas and yet

sick she was sick on Christmas and yet he gave her shining skates just like the

he gave her shining skates just like the

he gave her shining skates just like the ones he wore in the old country skating

ones he wore in the old country skating

ones he wore in the old country skating on the canals but she never put her feet

on the canals but she never put her feet

on the canals but she never put her feet in them she died on a cold cold day in

in them she died on a cold cold day in

in them she died on a cold cold day in January and that told me something more

January and that told me something more

January and that told me something more about grandpa bull holler and how he was

about grandpa bull holler and how he was

about grandpa bull holler and how he was and how he reacted to things you see

and how he reacted to things you see

and how he reacted to things you see each one of us is a special precious

each one of us is a special precious

each one of us is a special precious unique story it’s never repeated ever

unique story it’s never repeated ever

unique story it’s never repeated ever again in the whole universe and when we

again in the whole universe and when we

again in the whole universe and when we begin to treat each other that way even

begin to treat each other that way even

begin to treat each other that way even if we don’t know the whole story we make

if we don’t know the whole story we make

if we don’t know the whole story we make room for it all then we become the kind

room for it all then we become the kind

room for it all then we become the kind of community we really want to be a

of community we really want to be a

of community we really want to be a second principle that we share in common

second principle that we share in common

second principle that we share in common over the cultures and traditions of the

over the cultures and traditions of the

over the cultures and traditions of the world is to appreciate the wholeness of

world is to appreciate the wholeness of

world is to appreciate the wholeness of being human if we look at the great

being human if we look at the great

being human if we look at the great wisdom figures of the world the Saints

wisdom figures of the world the Saints

wisdom figures of the world the Saints the sages the heroes the priests the

the sages the heroes the priests the

the sages the heroes the priests the prophets they are people who embody the

prophets they are people who embody the

prophets they are people who embody the wholeness of being human they are people

wholeness of being human they are people

wholeness of being human they are people often with tremendous abilities physical

often with tremendous abilities physical

often with tremendous abilities physical abilities so they’re able to sustain

abilities so they’re able to sustain

abilities so they’re able to sustain themselves over great difficulties but

themselves over great difficulties but

themselves over great difficulties but they are also people with tremendous

they are also people with tremendous

they are also people with tremendous intellectual skills with great acuity

intellectual skills with great acuity

intellectual skills with great acuity and insight and almost always they are

and insight and almost always they are

and insight and almost always they are people who have spirit however you

people who have spirit however you

people who have spirit however you understand that term they are people who

understand that term they are people who

understand that term they are people who are connected to some higher power to

are connected to some higher power to

are connected to some higher power to some transcendent vision to some divine

some transcendent vision to some divine

some transcendent vision to some divine reality we find this again in every

reality we find this again in every

reality we find this again in every tradition of the world so that for

tradition of the world so that for

tradition of the world so that for instance in Islam prayer is something

instance in Islam prayer is something

instance in Islam prayer is something that is done five times a day it becomes

that is done five times a day it becomes

that is done five times a day it becomes an integrated aspect of a whole human

an integrated aspect of a whole human

an integrated aspect of a whole human being in the Catholic tradition the

being in the Catholic tradition the

being in the Catholic tradition the great religious orders had something

great religious orders had something

great religious orders had something very much like this where prayer was

very much like this where prayer was

very much like this where prayer was something done at the beginning of the

something done at the beginning of the

something done at the beginning of the day

day

day mid morning and afternoon and into the

mid morning and afternoon and into the

mid morning and afternoon and into the night because the spiritual aspect

night because the spiritual aspect

night because the spiritual aspect became a whole part there was prayer and

became a whole part there was prayer and

became a whole part there was prayer and work and study again we could look at

work and study again we could look at

work and study again we could look at this principle throughout the wisdom

this principle throughout the wisdom

this principle throughout the wisdom traditions of the world but when we

traditions of the world but when we

traditions of the world but when we start to use it then we use all of our

start to use it then we use all of our

start to use it then we use all of our ways of knowing right when we’re making

ways of knowing right when we’re making

ways of knowing right when we’re making a decision we don’t just use our mind

a decision we don’t just use our mind

a decision we don’t just use our mind which is usually what we do in our

which is usually what we do in our

which is usually what we do in our Western society reason is something that

Western society reason is something that

Western society reason is something that we’ve put sort of as the top priority

we’ve put sort of as the top priority

we’ve put sort of as the top priority but what about questions of how do we

but what about questions of how do we

but what about questions of how do we feel what does our heart

feel what does our heart

feel what does our heart tell us here’s a challenge next time

tell us here’s a challenge next time

tell us here’s a challenge next time you’re in a really difficult meeting and

you’re in a really difficult meeting and

you’re in a really difficult meeting and there’s a difficult discussion about the

there’s a difficult discussion about the

there’s a difficult discussion about the decision that has to be made ask

decision that has to be made ask

decision that has to be made ask everybody just to take two minutes of

everybody just to take two minutes of

everybody just to take two minutes of silence two minutes of silence and I

silence two minutes of silence and I

silence two minutes of silence and I guarantee you that the conversation will

guarantee you that the conversation will

guarantee you that the conversation will change we need to use all of our ways of

change we need to use all of our ways of

change we need to use all of our ways of knowing

knowing

knowing in order to make really wise decisions

in order to make really wise decisions

in order to make really wise decisions in our communities and when we do then

in our communities and when we do then

in our communities and when we do then we choose what brings integration what

we choose what brings integration what

we choose what brings integration what brings wellness we don’t just focus on

brings wellness we don’t just focus on

brings wellness we don’t just focus on one aspect of who we are but we look for

one aspect of who we are but we look for

one aspect of who we are but we look for ways to continue to be whole human

ways to continue to be whole human

ways to continue to be whole human beings body mind and spirit a third

beings body mind and spirit a third

beings body mind and spirit a third principle recognize the

principle recognize the

principle recognize the interconnectedness of all reality here

interconnectedness of all reality here

interconnectedness of all reality here again this is a principle that we find

again this is a principle that we find

again this is a principle that we find throughout the wisdom traditions of the

throughout the wisdom traditions of the

throughout the wisdom traditions of the world if you look at indigenous peoples

world if you look at indigenous peoples

world if you look at indigenous peoples on every continent there is a deep

on every continent there is a deep

on every continent there is a deep sensitivity

sensitivity

sensitivity not only us two legged ones but the

not only us two legged ones but the

not only us two legged ones but the four-legged ones the winget ones the

four-legged ones the winget ones the

four-legged ones the winget ones the swimming ones

swimming ones

swimming ones all of them are understood as my

all of them are understood as my

all of them are understood as my relations all of my relations if we look

relations all of my relations if we look

relations all of my relations if we look at the Abrahamic traditions of the world

at the Abrahamic traditions of the world

at the Abrahamic traditions of the world Judaism Christianity Islam we find that

Judaism Christianity Islam we find that

Judaism Christianity Islam we find that there is this deep recognition that all

there is this deep recognition that all

there is this deep recognition that all reality comes from the divine and bears

reality comes from the divine and bears

reality comes from the divine and bears the mark the beauty of the divine this

the mark the beauty of the divine this

the mark the beauty of the divine this idea that we are all interconnected is a

idea that we are all interconnected is a

idea that we are all interconnected is a fundamental realization across the

fundamental realization across the

fundamental realization across the cultures and traditions of the world and

cultures and traditions of the world and

cultures and traditions of the world and when we start to use that sensitivity

when we start to use that sensitivity

when we start to use that sensitivity when we’re making decisions when we’re

when we’re making decisions when we’re

when we’re making decisions when we’re in that process of weighing things we

in that process of weighing things we

in that process of weighing things we not only look at individual events and

not only look at individual events and

not only look at individual events and individual persons but we look at

individual persons but we look at

individual persons but we look at systems we look at our educational

systems we look at our educational

systems we look at our educational system and the difficulties were having

system and the difficulties were having

system and the difficulties were having with opportunity gaps not because

with opportunity gaps not because

with opportunity gaps not because individuals aren’t able to do the work

individuals aren’t able to do the work

individuals aren’t able to do the work but because we have a system that

but because we have a system that

but because we have a system that doesn’t actually treat people fairly we

doesn’t actually treat people fairly we

doesn’t actually treat people fairly we look at policing systems where we’ve had

look at policing systems where we’ve had

look at policing systems where we’ve had great difficulty over the last few years

great difficulty over the last few years

great difficulty over the last few years we must ask ourselves not just about

we must ask ourselves not just about

we must ask ourselves not just about individuals we must ask ourselves about

individuals we must ask ourselves about

individuals we must ask ourselves about the systems of recruitment and training

the systems of recruitment and training

the systems of recruitment and training we must ask ourselves about our own

we must ask ourselves about our own

we must ask ourselves about our own culture our propensity for competition

culture our propensity for competition

culture our propensity for competition for violence when we begin to use this

for violence when we begin to use this

for violence when we begin to use this sensitivity to the interconnectedness of

sensitivity to the interconnectedness of

sensitivity to the interconnectedness of reality then we choose not only what

reality then we choose not only what

reality then we choose not only what supports one part of the bottom line

supports one part of the bottom line

supports one part of the bottom line which we often talk about profit

which we often talk about profit

which we often talk about profit prosperity but we recognized that the

prosperity but we recognized that the

prosperity but we recognized that the bottom line is really triple right it

bottom line is really triple right it

bottom line is really triple right it includes people the spirit of people the

includes people the spirit of people the

includes people the spirit of people the Wellness of people and includes our

Wellness of people and includes our

Wellness of people and includes our planet on which we depend without which

planet on which we depend without which

planet on which we depend without which we cannot go on now grandpa bull Howard

we cannot go on now grandpa bull Howard

we cannot go on now grandpa bull Howard taught me one more thing you see one day

taught me one more thing you see one day

taught me one more thing you see one day this surly old guy called us all to his

this surly old guy called us all to his

this surly old guy called us all to his backyard and he had set up two flower

backyard and he had set up two flower

backyard and he had set up two flower stands almost 20 feet apart and on one

stands almost 20 feet apart and on one

stands almost 20 feet apart and on one balanced on a pivot was a spoon holding

balanced on a pivot was a spoon holding

balanced on a pivot was a spoon holding half a potato and on the other was a

half a potato and on the other was a

half a potato and on the other was a wineglass glinting in the sunlight and

wineglass glinting in the sunlight and

wineglass glinting in the sunlight and with one flick of his finger he sent

with one flick of his finger he sent

with one flick of his finger he sent that potato flying through space and it

that potato flying through space and it

that potato flying through space and it fell round and down in the waiting

fell round and down in the waiting

fell round and down in the waiting wineglass and he I mean it wasn’t just a

wineglass and he I mean it wasn’t just a

wineglass and he I mean it wasn’t just a little laughs it was glee bubbling out

little laughs it was glee bubbling out

little laughs it was glee bubbling out of him and you know some of the

of him and you know some of the

of him and you know some of the difficulty of his story well only once

difficulty of his story well only once

difficulty of his story well only once then shovel on his shoulder back to his

then shovel on his shoulder back to his

then shovel on his shoulder back to his garden leaving us standing in the green

garden leaving us standing in the green

garden leaving us standing in the green grass with all of our questions after

grass with all of our questions after

grass with all of our questions after that it was the first and the last time

that it was the first and the last time

that it was the first and the last time that I heard my grandpa giggle but after

that I heard my grandpa giggle but after

that I heard my grandpa giggle but after that everything was possible and I

that everything was possible and I

that everything was possible and I believe that as a human community it is

believe that as a human community it is

believe that as a human community it is possible for us to recognize the

possible for us to recognize the

possible for us to recognize the preciousness of each person it is

preciousness of each person it is

preciousness of each person it is possible for us to be brothers and

possible for us to be brothers and

possible for us to be brothers and sisters of one human family it takes a

sisters of one human family it takes a

sisters of one human family it takes a recognition that we have common

recognition that we have common

recognition that we have common foundational principles yes we are one

foundational principles yes we are one

foundational principles yes we are one family thank you

family thank you

family thank you [Applause]

”

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