here we go beauty what is beauty do you know do you know someone who is
know do you know someone who is
know do you know someone who is beautiful what makes them beautiful
beautiful what makes them beautiful
beautiful what makes them beautiful here’s the real question have you ever
here’s the real question have you ever
here’s the real question have you ever felt beautiful when was that
every morning I get dressed I do my hair
every morning I get dressed I do my hair I put on makeup I do all I can to
I put on makeup I do all I can to
I put on makeup I do all I can to achieve optimum beauty my optimum Beauty
achieve optimum beauty my optimum Beauty
achieve optimum beauty my optimum Beauty but no matter how hard I try I never
but no matter how hard I try I never
but no matter how hard I try I never actually feel beautiful and no matter
actually feel beautiful and no matter
actually feel beautiful and no matter what image I present on the outside
what image I present on the outside
what image I present on the outside inside
inside
inside I actually feel ugly and my truth is I’m
I actually feel ugly and my truth is I’m
I actually feel ugly and my truth is I’m afraid that you will discover just how
afraid that you will discover just how
afraid that you will discover just how ugly I really am see I’m a mother who
ugly I really am see I’m a mother who
ugly I really am see I’m a mother who was arrested in my own driveway feet
was arrested in my own driveway feet
was arrested in my own driveway feet away from my children’s bedroom window
away from my children’s bedroom window
away from my children’s bedroom window when my story doesn’t begin there I was
when my story doesn’t begin there I was
when my story doesn’t begin there I was born with a large precancerous birthmark
born with a large precancerous birthmark
born with a large precancerous birthmark that covered my entire back that mark
that covered my entire back that mark
that covered my entire back that mark was a sentence or so the doctors
was a sentence or so the doctors
was a sentence or so the doctors explained because for me to live all the
explained because for me to live all the
explained because for me to live all the skin on my back had to be removed so at
skin on my back had to be removed so at
skin on my back had to be removed so at the ages of 4 and 6 years old I
the ages of 4 and 6 years old I
the ages of 4 and 6 years old I underwent very invasive surgery where
underwent very invasive surgery where
underwent very invasive surgery where every layer of skin that was marked was
every layer of skin that was marked was
every layer of skin that was marked was cut away and what remained of my torso
cut away and what remained of my torso
cut away and what remained of my torso was used as skin grafts after my
was used as skin grafts after my
was used as skin grafts after my surgeries 40% of my body was without
surgeries 40% of my body was without
surgeries 40% of my body was without skin see I I know nakedness
skin see I I know nakedness
skin see I I know nakedness I had no clothes on as I laid in
I had no clothes on as I laid in
I had no clothes on as I laid in hospital hospital bed for weeks as I
hospital hospital bed for weeks as I
hospital hospital bed for weeks as I healed but I nakedness beyond nudity one
healed but I nakedness beyond nudity one
healed but I nakedness beyond nudity one that I feel only known to me
that I feel only known to me
that I feel only known to me because I know a nakedness without the
because I know a nakedness without the
because I know a nakedness without the cover of my own skin and the pain was
cover of my own skin and the pain was
cover of my own skin and the pain was terrible my screams would echo down the
terrible my screams would echo down the
terrible my screams would echo down the hallways especially when I saw the
hallways especially when I saw the
hallways especially when I saw the nurses with their sponges and clean
nurses with their sponges and clean
nurses with their sponges and clean sheets but that pain subsided and
sheets but that pain subsided and
sheets but that pain subsided and something else took its place see my
something else took its place see my
something else took its place see my wounds healed replaced by scars a small
wounds healed replaced by scars a small
wounds healed replaced by scars a small child now almost half my body severely
child now almost half my body severely
child now almost half my body severely scarred the terror of bathing suits
scarred the terror of bathing suits
scarred the terror of bathing suits among friends no sundresses or spaghetti
among friends no sundresses or spaghetti
among friends no sundresses or spaghetti straps for me this very very kind woman
straps for me this very very kind woman
straps for me this very very kind woman in our church would sew bathing suits
in our church would sew bathing suits
in our church would sew bathing suits for me or swimsuits and that would cover
for me or swimsuits and that would cover
for me or swimsuits and that would cover the deep scars that enveloped my body
the deep scars that enveloped my body
the deep scars that enveloped my body that gave me some relief from my shame
that gave me some relief from my shame
that gave me some relief from my shame but she was my new pain but cover I did
but she was my new pain but cover I did
but she was my new pain but cover I did and I got good at it using my hair
and I got good at it using my hair
and I got good at it using my hair clothes makeup to disguise what really
clothes makeup to disguise what really
clothes makeup to disguise what really was but living so afraid that my friends
was but living so afraid that my friends
was but living so afraid that my friends colleagues even strangers would discover
colleagues even strangers would discover
colleagues even strangers would discover that they would somehow see my scars and
that they would somehow see my scars and
that they would somehow see my scars and they would learn just how ugly I really
they would learn just how ugly I really
they would learn just how ugly I really am and I was arrested I saw that
am and I was arrested I saw that
am and I was arrested I saw that deputy’s car sitting out front my
deputy’s car sitting out front my
deputy’s car sitting out front my sister’s house as I was leaving I had
sister’s house as I was leaving I had
sister’s house as I was leaving I had had a few glasses of wine but I lived in
had a few glasses of wine but I lived in
had a few glasses of wine but I lived in the same neighborhood as her just two
the same neighborhood as her just two
the same neighborhood as her just two residential streets away I was 37 years
residential streets away I was 37 years
residential streets away I was 37 years old and never even had a traffic ticket
old and never even had a traffic ticket
old and never even had a traffic ticket or a parking citation to that matter so
or a parking citation to that matter so
or a parking citation to that matter so I got in my car and drove home without
I got in my car and drove home without
I got in my car and drove home without incident or so I thought
incident or so I thought
incident or so I thought see I was being followed and that same
see I was being followed and that same
see I was being followed and that same deputy came racing down my streets
deputy came racing down my streets
deputy came racing down my streets lights flashing just as I was pulling
lights flashing just as I was pulling
lights flashing just as I was pulling into my driveway I was arrested and then
into my driveway I was arrested and then
into my driveway I was arrested and then sentenced to 20 days in the Pima County
sentenced to 20 days in the Pima County
sentenced to 20 days in the Pima County Jail
Jail
Jail Tucson Arizona I was strip-searched
Tucson Arizona I was strip-searched
Tucson Arizona I was strip-searched every day sometimes twice a day every
every day sometimes twice a day every
every day sometimes twice a day every ugly and terrible scar I worked so hard
ugly and terrible scar I worked so hard
ugly and terrible scar I worked so hard to hide now exposed to unkind eyes they
to hide now exposed to unkind eyes they
to hide now exposed to unkind eyes they mocked me and ridiculed me as I stood
mocked me and ridiculed me as I stood
mocked me and ridiculed me as I stood there naked exposed shivering
there naked exposed shivering
there naked exposed shivering see I was stripped not just of my
see I was stripped not just of my
see I was stripped not just of my clothes but of my truth and my lies I
clothes but of my truth and my lies I
clothes but of my truth and my lies I couldn’t be that fictitious person I
couldn’t be that fictitious person I
couldn’t be that fictitious person I wanted everyone to believe I was I
wanted everyone to believe I was I
wanted everyone to believe I was I couldn’t hide I laid in that bunk bed
couldn’t hide I laid in that bunk bed
couldn’t hide I laid in that bunk bed among 90 other inmates feeling hopeless
among 90 other inmates feeling hopeless
among 90 other inmates feeling hopeless ashamed humiliated and sorry for myself
ashamed humiliated and sorry for myself
ashamed humiliated and sorry for myself and it was in that moment I cried out to
and it was in that moment I cried out to
and it was in that moment I cried out to God and said God I can’t do this anymore
God and said God I can’t do this anymore
God and said God I can’t do this anymore I can’t carry this shame help me
I can’t carry this shame help me
I can’t carry this shame help me immediately this great warmth filled my
immediately this great warmth filled my
immediately this great warmth filled my brokenness and these two words whispered
brokenness and these two words whispered
brokenness and these two words whispered to my heart
to my heart
to my heart scarred beautiful how I asked in my
scarred beautiful how I asked in my
scarred beautiful how I asked in my scars and this DUI be anything but ugly
scars and this DUI be anything but ugly
scars and this DUI be anything but ugly yet scarred beautiful gave me a choice
yet scarred beautiful gave me a choice
yet scarred beautiful gave me a choice I could be forever sentence ashamed of
I could be forever sentence ashamed of
I could be forever sentence ashamed of every scar or take this opportunity to
every scar or take this opportunity to
every scar or take this opportunity to learn and grow and change yes I was
learn and grow and change yes I was
learn and grow and change yes I was still very much in jail alone and
still very much in jail alone and
still very much in jail alone and sentenced and there will not be a day
sentenced and there will not be a day
sentenced and there will not be a day that I don’t regret my decision to get
that I don’t regret my decision to get
that I don’t regret my decision to get behind that wheel for the heartache that
behind that wheel for the heartache that
behind that wheel for the heartache that I caused my family and the risk I was to
I caused my family and the risk I was to
I caused my family and the risk I was to other safety but I could take this
other safety but I could take this
other safety but I could take this moment and transform this from a mark of
moment and transform this from a mark of
moment and transform this from a mark of my fall to the moment I rose again but
my fall to the moment I rose again but
my fall to the moment I rose again but what about my physical scars that’s a
what about my physical scars that’s a
what about my physical scars that’s a picture of my back taken at age 36 just
picture of my back taken at age 36 just
picture of my back taken at age 36 just a year before I was arrest
a year before I was arrest
a year before I was arrest it how can I find beauty in that yet
it how can I find beauty in that yet
it how can I find beauty in that yet through God’s eyes my scars are
through God’s eyes my scars are
through God’s eyes my scars are beautiful because the very disease that
beautiful because the very disease that
beautiful because the very disease that intended to destroy me didn’t and my
intended to destroy me didn’t and my
intended to destroy me didn’t and my scars are a testament of my strength and
scars are a testament of my strength and
scars are a testament of my strength and resilience to survive that scar my scars
resilience to survive that scar my scars
resilience to survive that scar my scars are the reason I’m alive today and that
are the reason I’m alive today and that
are the reason I’m alive today and that is beautiful it’s time for all of us to
is beautiful it’s time for all of us to
is beautiful it’s time for all of us to begin to recognize where true beauty
begin to recognize where true beauty
begin to recognize where true beauty lies our scars and our stories have
lies our scars and our stories have
lies our scars and our stories have beauty for the lessons learned the
beauty for the lessons learned the
beauty for the lessons learned the wisdom earned and the ability to rise
wisdom earned and the ability to rise
wisdom earned and the ability to rise again doctor Dan McAdams of Northwestern
again doctor Dan McAdams of Northwestern
again doctor Dan McAdams of Northwestern University did a 10-year study on two
University did a 10-year study on two
University did a 10-year study on two types of people those that live a
types of people those that live a
types of people those that live a vigorous abundant productive life and
vigorous abundant productive life and
vigorous abundant productive life and those that don’t and he found one common
those that don’t and he found one common
those that don’t and he found one common threat in those that lived a productive
threat in those that lived a productive
threat in those that lived a productive happy life in spite of whatever
happy life in spite of whatever
happy life in spite of whatever tragedies they might have been doing and
tragedies they might have been doing and
tragedies they might have been doing and he called that common thread a
he called that common thread a
he called that common thread a redemptive story hear that word
redemptive story hear that word
redemptive story hear that word redemptive how beautiful is that word
redemptive how beautiful is that word
redemptive how beautiful is that word see we each hold the ability to change
see we each hold the ability to change
see we each hold the ability to change the narrative to change the outcome of
the narrative to change the outcome of
the narrative to change the outcome of our tragedies of our scars it’s in our
our tragedies of our scars it’s in our
our tragedies of our scars it’s in our hands
hands
hands I had labeled myself scarred for 37
I had labeled myself scarred for 37
I had labeled myself scarred for 37 years but I’m no longer just scarred
years but I’m no longer just scarred
years but I’m no longer just scarred I am scarred beautiful that is my
I am scarred beautiful that is my
I am scarred beautiful that is my redemptive story and that redemptive
redemptive story and that redemptive
redemptive story and that redemptive story changed everything for me
story changed everything for me
story changed everything for me what is your scar you have won some we
what is your scar you have won some we
what is your scar you have won some we wear on our bodies some we carry in our
wear on our bodies some we carry in our
wear on our bodies some we carry in our hearts some are moments we were victims
hearts some are moments we were victims
hearts some are moments we were victims others self-induced what is your scar
I want you to do this I want you to give
I want you to do this I want you to give that scar a label and I want you to
that scar a label and I want you to
that scar a label and I want you to write it down I’m not asking you to
write it down I’m not asking you to
write it down I’m not asking you to write down your whole story just give
write down your whole story just give
write down your whole story just give that scar that moment a pain a word a
that scar that moment a pain a word a
that scar that moment a pain a word a name a date whatever it is just write it
name a date whatever it is just write it
name a date whatever it is just write it down and underneath that I want you to
down and underneath that I want you to
down and underneath that I want you to write one good thing that happened as a
write one good thing that happened as a
write one good thing that happened as a result of that scar did you learn did
result of that scar did you learn did
result of that scar did you learn did you grow did you find compassion because
you grow did you find compassion because
you grow did you find compassion because you know what it feels like to need
you know what it feels like to need
you know what it feels like to need compassion did the road you were taking
compassion did the road you were taking
compassion did the road you were taking change because of that circumstance
change because of that circumstance
change because of that circumstance which led you on a new road that brought
which led you on a new road that brought
which led you on a new road that brought you to beauty are you a better mother a
you to beauty are you a better mother a
you to beauty are you a better mother a better friend father because of that
better friend father because of that
better friend father because of that scar maybe your scar is deep shame
scar maybe your scar is deep shame
scar maybe your scar is deep shame because you did something that hurt
because you did something that hurt
because you did something that hurt another deeply but how can you change
another deeply but how can you change
another deeply but how can you change that scar that situation to a redemptive
that scar that situation to a redemptive
that scar that situation to a redemptive story how can you turn that scar to
story how can you turn that scar to
story how can you turn that scar to something beautiful and maybe your scar
something beautiful and maybe your scar
something beautiful and maybe your scar is the loss of a loved one but your
is the loss of a loved one but your
is the loss of a loved one but your beauty is in the hope that one day you
beauty is in the hope that one day you
beauty is in the hope that one day you will embrace again it’s time for us to
will embrace again it’s time for us to
will embrace again it’s time for us to give our scars the beauty that we’ve
give our scars the beauty that we’ve
give our scars the beauty that we’ve earned I did it I left jail and I said
earned I did it I left jail and I said
earned I did it I left jail and I said I’m going to leave this facade the
I’m going to leave this facade the
I’m going to leave this facade the secrets I keep in that jail cell and I’m
secrets I keep in that jail cell and I’m
secrets I keep in that jail cell and I’m going to emerge living breathing owning
going to emerge living breathing owning
going to emerge living breathing owning my own skin
my own skin
my own skin and I’m gonna reveal my scars but the
and I’m gonna reveal my scars but the
and I’m gonna reveal my scars but the beauty they reveal about me so I did it
beauty they reveal about me so I did it
beauty they reveal about me so I did it I shared my story it started with a book
I shared my story it started with a book
I shared my story it started with a book and that something incredible happened
and that something incredible happened
and that something incredible happened women from all over began to share their
women from all over began to share their
women from all over began to share their scars their stories with me with others
scars their stories with me with others
scars their stories with me with others stories of tragedy turned to triumph
stories of tragedy turned to triumph
stories of tragedy turned to triumph beauty after the pain it started with
beauty after the pain it started with
beauty after the pain it started with one woman scars now 34,000 strong men
one woman scars now 34,000 strong men
one woman scars now 34,000 strong men and women who call themselves
and women who call themselves
and women who call themselves scarred beautiful that is my story that
scarred beautiful that is my story that
scarred beautiful that is my story that is our story but what is yours I want
is our story but what is yours I want
is our story but what is yours I want you to do this I want you to raise your
you to do this I want you to raise your
you to do this I want you to raise your hand if you have a scar whether it be
hand if you have a scar whether it be
hand if you have a scar whether it be physical or one you wearing your heart
physical or one you wearing your heart
physical or one you wearing your heart go ahead raise your hand thank you
go ahead raise your hand thank you
go ahead raise your hand thank you your scars are beautiful not in your
your scars are beautiful not in your
your scars are beautiful not in your beauty is not in spite but with and even
beauty is not in spite but with and even
beauty is not in spite but with and even because of your scars because your story
because of your scars because your story
because of your scars because your story is unique to you and you alone and that
is unique to you and you alone and that
is unique to you and you alone and that moment was when your character was
moment was when your character was
moment was when your character was tested yet your strength and your
tested yet your strength and your
tested yet your strength and your resilience prevailed and that is
resilience prevailed and that is
resilience prevailed and that is beautiful I am Andrea Castile Smith and
beautiful I am Andrea Castile Smith and
beautiful I am Andrea Castile Smith and I am scarred beautiful join me thank you
[Music]
[Music] you
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