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Rediscovering platonic touch | Janet Treviño | TEDxSanAntonio


do you buy will enable connect like the

do you buy will enable connect like the first one ecstasy turn to the person

first one ecstasy turn to the person

first one ecstasy turn to the person next to task would you hold my hand say

next to task would you hold my hand say

next to task would you hold my hand say yes or no give no response

oh great from you that’s a shoulder

oh great from you that’s a shoulder massage

our sin our society who relegated touch

our sin our society who relegated touch for babies small children and lovers as

for babies small children and lovers as

for babies small children and lovers as a professional atonic touch and cuddling

a professional atonic touch and cuddling

a professional atonic touch and cuddling specialists people pay me experience

specialists people pay me experience

specialists people pay me experience price this industry is promoting because

price this industry is promoting because

price this industry is promoting because people are realizing that it’s really

people are realizing that it’s really

people are realizing that it’s really difficult to access atomic touch so what

difficult to access atomic touch so what

difficult to access atomic touch so what sonic touch upon touch to the touch

sonic touch upon touch to the touch

sonic touch upon touch to the touch that’s kind gentle presence and it’s

that’s kind gentle presence and it’s

that’s kind gentle presence and it’s actually absence of romanticism and our

actually absence of romanticism and our

actually absence of romanticism and our sexual intention it’s not the kind of

sexual intention it’s not the kind of

sexual intention it’s not the kind of touch that makes it photonic it’s the

touch that makes it photonic it’s the

touch that makes it photonic it’s the intention behind it so examples right

intention behind it so examples right

intention behind it so examples right what does it look like it’s like

what does it look like it’s like

what does it look like it’s like something you’re doing right now you

something you’re doing right now you

something you’re doing right now you make simple as holding someone’s hand

make simple as holding someone’s hand

make simple as holding someone’s hand all the way up to a full embrace where

all the way up to a full embrace where

all the way up to a full embrace where I’m holding the client and the – and

I’m holding the client and the – and

I’m holding the client and the – and everything in between

everything in between

everything in between touches one of the five fundamental love

touches one of the five fundamental love

touches one of the five fundamental love languages described by dr. Gary Chapman

languages described by dr. Gary Chapman

languages described by dr. Gary Chapman is several violent languages did you

is several violent languages did you

is several violent languages did you know that people can be touched start

know that people can be touched start

know that people can be touched start even in relationships and those not

even in relationships and those not

even in relationships and those not relationships our society as few buddies

relationships our society as few buddies

relationships our society as few buddies must take agent metonic touch not

must take agent metonic touch not

must take agent metonic touch not uncommon for my clients tell me majority

uncommon for my clients tell me majority

uncommon for my clients tell me majority of my clients don’t want anyone to know

of my clients don’t want anyone to know

of my clients don’t want anyone to know that they see me shame feeling that

that they see me shame feeling that

that they see me shame feeling that something is wrong with me you with us

something is wrong with me you with us

something is wrong with me you with us the need permit on touches seen as a

the need permit on touches seen as a

the need permit on touches seen as a weakness not accessible or programmed

weakness not accessible or programmed

weakness not accessible or programmed like why should I pay for something that

like why should I pay for something that

like why should I pay for something that should be free

should be free

should be free we’re ashamed of our lonely ministers

we’re ashamed of our lonely ministers

we’re ashamed of our lonely ministers who worth it may feel impotent to be

who worth it may feel impotent to be

who worth it may feel impotent to be able to meet our touching use at the

able to meet our touching use at the

able to meet our touching use at the same time many of us have experienced

same time many of us have experienced

same time many of us have experienced such that’s not that state appropriate

such that’s not that state appropriate

such that’s not that state appropriate asks for or consensual raise your hand

asks for or consensual raise your hand

asks for or consensual raise your hand if you’re willing if you’ve had one time

if you’re willing if you’ve had one time

if you’re willing if you’ve had one time in your life and experience touch this

in your life and experience touch this

in your life and experience touch this natural state appropriate ask for

natural state appropriate ask for

natural state appropriate ask for consent case some point here is that I

consent case some point here is that I

consent case some point here is that I tell you we all know that one person

tell you we all know that one person

tell you we all know that one person that when they see it they read up to us

that when they see it they read up to us

that when they see it they read up to us and they can simply use and we embrace

and they can simply use and we embrace

and they can simply use and we embrace ourselves and my family is like that I

ourselves and my family is like that I

ourselves and my family is like that I give a kiss on the cheek to every

give a kiss on the cheek to every

give a kiss on the cheek to every relative they see and well this is

relative they see and well this is

relative they see and well this is widely accepted in our culture it’s rare

widely accepted in our culture it’s rare

widely accepted in our culture it’s rare that a lot is offered for a sport it’s

that a lot is offered for a sport it’s

that a lot is offered for a sport it’s expected that everyone wants to be

expected that everyone wants to be

expected that everyone wants to be touched in this way this rule and

touched in this way this rule and

touched in this way this rule and actually this makes touch them attention

actually this makes touch them attention

actually this makes touch them attention less accessible as many of us have our

less accessible as many of us have our

less accessible as many of us have our defenses up types just taken from us not

defenses up types just taken from us not

defenses up types just taken from us not requested for this reason many people

requested for this reason many people

requested for this reason many people think this is what I do

[Music]

[Music] many people can’t imagine what I do

many people can’t imagine what I do

many people can’t imagine what I do because the touch that they’ve received

because the touch that they’ve received

because the touch that they’ve received has not helped but it’s not been

has not helped but it’s not been

has not helped but it’s not been consensual

consensual

consensual we are both afraid initiating the touch

we are both afraid initiating the touch

we are both afraid initiating the touch we don’t trust us and yet here is the

we don’t trust us and yet here is the

we don’t trust us and yet here is the truth about touch it is the first fun

truth about touch it is the first fun

truth about touch it is the first fun experience in the womb and it is the

experience in the womb and it is the

experience in the womb and it is the last sense we keep intact into our very

last sense we keep intact into our very

last sense we keep intact into our very last breath research shows that children

last breath research shows that children

last breath research shows that children they need touch they can thrive without

they need touch they can thrive without

they need touch they can thrive without it and if they don’t have it they can

it and if they don’t have it they can

it and if they don’t have it they can suffer developmental cognitive disorders

suffer developmental cognitive disorders

suffer developmental cognitive disorders I’m here to tell you that we never grow

I’m here to tell you that we never grow

I’m here to tell you that we never grow out of our names were touch again we

out of our names were touch again we

out of our names were touch again we never grow out of our movie or touch

never grow out of our movie or touch

never grow out of our movie or touch it’s essential for living it’s important

it’s essential for living it’s important

it’s essential for living it’s important as the air we breathe and the water we

as the air we breathe and the water we

as the air we breathe and the water we drink in the largest organ in our body

drink in the largest organ in our body

drink in the largest organ in our body was created to be experienced with

was created to be experienced with

was created to be experienced with others so what’s the problem with touch

others so what’s the problem with touch

others so what’s the problem with touch in our society it may ask reasons one in

in our society it may ask reasons one in

in our society it may ask reasons one in five children experience sexual

five children experience sexual

five children experience sexual molestation one in four children are

molestation one in four children are

molestation one in four children are beaten by a parent to the point of marks

beaten by a parent to the point of marks

beaten by a parent to the point of marks being left on their body one in six

being left on their body one in six

being left on their body one in six women survive attempted aggravated

women survive attempted aggravated

women survive attempted aggravated sexual assault and women three couples

sexual assault and women three couples

sexual assault and women three couples engages in physical – injecting this

engages in physical – injecting this

engages in physical – injecting this problem might just teaching them consent

problem might just teaching them consent

problem might just teaching them consent is not going to deplore the problem I’m

is not going to deplore the problem I’m

is not going to deplore the problem I’m here to propose that our touch disease

here to propose that our touch disease

here to propose that our touch disease of touch abuse touch aggression touch

of touch abuse touch aggression touch

of touch abuse touch aggression touch deprivation and touch aversion is

deprivation and touch aversion is

deprivation and touch aversion is requiring an intense touch careful

requiring an intense touch careful

requiring an intense touch careful Tiffany filled the head of the touch

Tiffany filled the head of the touch

Tiffany filled the head of the touch Research Institute that they need a

Research Institute that they need a

Research Institute that they need a versatile and easy Miller School of

versatile and easy Miller School of

versatile and easy Miller School of Medicine has some numerous these on the

Medicine has some numerous these on the

Medicine has some numerous these on the power massage a touch for adults and

power massage a touch for adults and

power massage a touch for adults and children alike I’m just having profound

children alike I’m just having profound

children alike I’m just having profound impact we’re seeing it’s lowering blood

impact we’re seeing it’s lowering blood

impact we’re seeing it’s lowering blood pressure and body inflammation heart

pressure and body inflammation heart

pressure and body inflammation heart rate words the level and many other

rate words the level and many other

rate words the level and many other things as well moving the quality of

things as well moving the quality of

things as well moving the quality of life and that’s what the body what’s

life and that’s what the body what’s

life and that’s what the body what’s going on in the brain for example our

going on in the brain for example our

going on in the brain for example our veterans are experiencing all levels of

veterans are experiencing all levels of

veterans are experiencing all levels of trauma and it’s not uncommon to have

trauma and it’s not uncommon to have

trauma and it’s not uncommon to have touched wrong and while we’ve been

touched wrong and while we’ve been

touched wrong and while we’ve been trying to figure it out that tuck

trying to figure it out that tuck

trying to figure it out that tuck they’re really recognizing that it’s not

they’re really recognizing that it’s not

they’re really recognizing that it’s not enough

enough

enough normal scientific inviting us to you to

normal scientific inviting us to you to

normal scientific inviting us to you to make the brains of meeting their less to

make the brains of meeting their less to

make the brains of meeting their less to speak and what these touch trauma people

speak and what these touch trauma people

speak and what these touch trauma people on we need positive experience that

on we need positive experience that

on we need positive experience that contradict those touch trauma stories

contradict those touch trauma stories

contradict those touch trauma stories that they keep reliving and that’s

that they keep reliving and that’s

that they keep reliving and that’s that’s why I do not give me ask okay

that’s why I do not give me ask okay

that’s why I do not give me ask okay what about the research there is no

what about the research there is no

what about the research there is no research absolutely nothing based on the

research absolutely nothing based on the

research absolutely nothing based on the what I do exactly which is a platonic

what I do exactly which is a platonic

what I do exactly which is a platonic touch and cuddling session where there’s

touch and cuddling session where there’s

touch and cuddling session where there’s a mutual and consensual giving and

a mutual and consensual giving and

a mutual and consensual giving and receiving of touch where communication

receiving of touch where communication

receiving of touch where communication is very important meanwhile how to begin

is very important meanwhile how to begin

is very important meanwhile how to begin to access this is difficult among our

to access this is difficult among our

to access this is difficult among our family and friends I have a single mail

family and friends I have a single mail

family and friends I have a single mail client control

client control

client control and it very clear there’s not a painting

and it very clear there’s not a painting

and it very clear there’s not a painting the touch niece and nephew because

the touch niece and nephew because

the touch niece and nephew because looking these fears around single men

looking these fears around single men

looking these fears around single men touch and such a tease although sexual

touch and such a tease although sexual

touch and such a tease although sexual deuce are definitely is a real concern

deuce are definitely is a real concern

deuce are definitely is a real concern when he heard that he immediately shut

when he heard that he immediately shut

when he heard that he immediately shut himself down the sons never get to touch

himself down the sons never get to touch

himself down the sons never get to touch anyone ever again in his family we don’t

anyone ever again in his family we don’t

anyone ever again in his family we don’t trust men that they are able to engage

trust men that they are able to engage

trust men that they are able to engage in Catan in touch and I’ll tell you that

in Catan in touch and I’ll tell you that

in Catan in touch and I’ll tell you that that the men tell me that they don’t

that the men tell me that they don’t

that the men tell me that they don’t think they can do either so how do we do

think they can do either so how do we do

think they can do either so how do we do it how we begin to break the type of

it how we begin to break the type of

it how we begin to break the type of touch baggage our communities raise your

touch baggage our communities raise your

touch baggage our communities raise your hand if you are getting all the touch

hand if you are getting all the touch

hand if you are getting all the touch that you want to need to thrive in life

there is indeed a platonic touch and

there is indeed a platonic touch and cuddling session this any more intensive

cuddling session this any more intensive

cuddling session this any more intensive protocol that I created called the

protocol that I created called the

protocol that I created called the rehabilitative touch there this is a

rehabilitative touch there this is a

rehabilitative touch there this is a woman where I can look like some of my

woman where I can look like some of my

woman where I can look like some of my clients is desired name Richard and have

clients is desired name Richard and have

clients is desired name Richard and have that connection in that moment in that

that connection in that moment in that

that connection in that moment in that they recognize it back but this all

they recognize it back but this all

they recognize it back but this all stems from a need that was broken and

stems from a need that was broken and

stems from a need that was broken and non-existent on with their mother or a

non-existent on with their mother or a

non-existent on with their mother or a parent under the cleanser playful and in

parent under the cleanser playful and in

parent under the cleanser playful and in self-discovery

self-discovery

self-discovery but then that you can figure out who

but then that you can figure out who

but then that you can figure out who they are touches an exploration while

they are touches an exploration while

they are touches an exploration while others feel shame about their bodies and

others feel shame about their bodies and

others feel shame about their bodies and about themselves and my Nana has met

about themselves and my Nana has met

about themselves and my Nana has met some presence in touch they’re able to

some presence in touch they’re able to

some presence in touch they’re able to see that shame and begin to release them

see that shame and begin to release them

see that shame and begin to release them to the pair okay but the majority of my

to the pair okay but the majority of my

to the pair okay but the majority of my clients are burned out the overworked

clients are burned out the overworked

clients are burned out the overworked overstressed and over dull team they

overstressed and over dull team they

overstressed and over dull team they just want a moment where they can be

just want a moment where they can be

just want a moment where they can be free from responsibilities and space

free from responsibilities and space

free from responsibilities and space accepting and nurturing there are no

accepting and nurturing there are no

accepting and nurturing there are no expectations no pressure

expectations no pressure

expectations no pressure and you know performance required trauma

and you know performance required trauma

and you know performance required trauma and heartbreak had happened in any age

and heartbreak had happened in any age

and heartbreak had happened in any age oftentimes of our language just go

oftentimes of our language just go

oftentimes of our language just go online not all of our memories are

online not all of our memories are

online not all of our memories are stored in our brain our bodies have

stored in our brain our bodies have

stored in our brain our bodies have these stores of

these stores of

these stores of when a person experiences a savings my

when a person experiences a savings my

when a person experiences a savings my stay in touch

stay in touch

stay in touch those emotions come to the surface can

those emotions come to the surface can

those emotions come to the surface can be released

be released

be released sometimes in tears now I know what

sometimes in tears now I know what

sometimes in tears now I know what you’re thinking

you’re thinking

you’re thinking I have perspective things that say I

I have perspective things that say I

I have perspective things that say I don’t know about that I don’t think you

don’t know about that I don’t think you

don’t know about that I don’t think you could have touched without flexible

could have touched without flexible

could have touched without flexible intention I remind that healthy

intention I remind that healthy

intention I remind that healthy relationships long for time they can be

relationships long for time they can be

relationships long for time they can be mutually giving in this period of

mutually giving in this period of

mutually giving in this period of pledged or no sexes are water

pledged or no sexes are water

pledged or no sexes are water just being together the sad irony is a

just being together the sad irony is a

just being together the sad irony is a same clients once they reach retirement

same clients once they reach retirement

same clients once they reach retirement age all they want to do is cuddle with

age all they want to do is cuddle with

age all they want to do is cuddle with their lives and why was one nothing to

their lives and why was one nothing to

their lives and why was one nothing to do with it I think there’s a touch of a

do with it I think there’s a touch of a

do with it I think there’s a touch of a trail I think the trust has been broken

trail I think the trust has been broken

trail I think the trust has been broken it’s not uncommon to me that the mind

it’s not uncommon to me that the mind

it’s not uncommon to me that the mind that has ten to twenty years in the

that has ten to twenty years in the

that has ten to twenty years in the marriage with absolutely no cuts

marriage with absolutely no cuts

marriage with absolutely no cuts sometimes for years without sex we have

sometimes for years without sex we have

sometimes for years without sex we have an epidemic of touch deprivation so

an epidemic of touch deprivation so

an epidemic of touch deprivation so let’s see if anyone’s still holding

let’s see if anyone’s still holding

let’s see if anyone’s still holding hands

what if that’s how to touch the safe hmm

what if that’s how to touch the safe hmm what if time touch was natural what is a

what if time touch was natural what is a

what if time touch was natural what is a tonic touch was appropriate what if the

tonic touch was appropriate what if the

tonic touch was appropriate what if the time touch was welcome

time touch was welcome

time touch was welcome what if Vuitton touch was asked for

what if Vuitton touch was asked for

what if Vuitton touch was asked for offered consensual the first step is

offered consensual the first step is

offered consensual the first step is believing that this is possible at the

believing that this is possible at the

believing that this is possible at the beginning I asked you to connect with

beginning I asked you to connect with

beginning I asked you to connect with the person next to you not sure what

the person next to you not sure what

the person next to you not sure what your life could look like you can

your life could look like you can

your life could look like you can continue to send out these connections

continue to send out these connections

continue to send out these connections are you brave enough to do this so let’s

connect up your neighbor and ask would

connect up your neighbor and ask would you give me a hug

you give me a hug

you give me a hug yes and no are appropriate responses

”

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