¿Por qué es tan fácil pelearse con nuestros papás? | Juana Morales | TEDxYouth@GLM

ashley

[Music]

it’s not a question it was a question

initially but then we saw a

affirmation

it’s really easier to fight with the

dads it’s really easier to fight

with all those people we want

deeply the boyfriends the dads the

brothers and it is the image that happened

when you were little

when you were little like that they were

so we have them in your hands

so we embrace you and you pass very

very happy being there but it happens that of

soon one day arrive but not only

this arrives for us the daddy arrives

this for you also because a

Once the work arrives, it arrives like this

when you arrive at the house ,

well and dads we have this image

that’s what we want and what we

we agreed at all times of the

life and all the parents we will continue

speaking children even though

have 25 30 or 40 and all the grandparents

they will continue talking about their children

in this way but when the

time and have what you have the

who are teenagers because that is not what

what ended up happening is that it is not

already for two arms crossed waiting for

see when you suddenly want

spend a little more time with 1 and

you have come out and you hear phrases like

you do not want to be so much with

US

I do not know what is happening with you and

the family why are not you here

if the family is not supposed to be

the most important thing and in this question in

this question say what is going on

that what happens for what reason is so

typical is predictable it is predictable that

the teenagers are like this man

that this is technician that takes out and leaves

what happened and for me I am a

passionate about science I love

try to find an answer that was

that took place that your explanation

that now has helped me a lot and

Welcome

the brain santiago opened us the

doors today is beautifully but

this is the brain

I brought a brain

critical to show this is a brain

and it was wonderful to put it together

As it was not, we’re going to do it because

basically right now is we’re going to

see in images but the brain put

is looked at in court this way is

in this area of ​​the brain is growing

since it is not born and develops as

lawyer, whether it was up to 25 in

particular areas of the brain but

It is always changing and will be able to go

gaining skills that subject that I already

I can not change but also what

We did very much teenagers

I’m 53 and so you do not ask me to

changed then it is not like that then today in

graph

let’s try to understand what this is

the brain and for what reason seen is the

brain is so easy to create with

dads and with the children

the brain has what it is for us

three very important places

It works in its entirety but for

try to explain it separately

it works all the time but it’s as if

it would pretend if we put more or not

to certain areas

this red zone asks a question that

will have to talk santiago screams

Question I’m sure if I get to my

because I was late, it’s three o’clock

in the morning and said that he has arrived

at one o’clock and as soon as my dad goes, I see that my

dad freezes strap and my

survival of my security is violated

the possibilities that I usually have

are those that santiago or paralyzed me

like the footprints that remain like this pieces

so that nobody is going to hurt you or

I run out and I protect myself and more

when in a closet or I give a fist

probably return if I do not feel

sure in a situation in relationships

human is usually where the

fists

the fights but this one feels very

probably compromised

is going to do some things that what

they do is protect it physically and

all the reactions of which

speak

this is the one that will matter to us today

more than others

this one on the other hand says I feel accepted

as we are yours as we are

I want to see if you think pretty my

family is well made up I’m

dancing comes the party in the next

but what do you have if the parents of

100 exit of the people will be that a

our country seems fine as I am

dancing this place be the system

limbic here are the emotions in

this place that is also have it in

account is a big difference

are all those memories

emotional

when one comes to the house to a

occasion and it smells like home my

granny or this is a flavor that I

agreement when I was little that this

and the emotions are in this place

but when one is in crisis or

when it ‘s working from this

place of the brain is the time in the

that one screams and says things for example

who have a favorite partner can be

Easily I do not know at what time

I fell in love with you I do not know what I saw you

that moment when the fault is

rest of the world

I am angry because the

traffic and effort because you

you looked bad is that you told me this

place of the brain when this and in

crisis can not think well and when not

it works from there

after a while and it gets dirty I said

this that did not touch but what is

important is that it is working well

because the question that is asked is how

we are you and I feel loved by

I feel accepted by you and that’s what

let’s have a little soak and this one

which is the smart zone this one

called the frontal lobes but that

small dark green part are the lobes

frontal

that’s where a quantity of

skills that you have to try to

give him sitting and one is working

as you saw it goes down to

up if it does not guarantee security it can

continue to guarantee the related topic

and then yes I can answer this

ask how can I solve the

problem where I am

what can I do to get out of

this

to give an example if I’m

working from the red I give a fist

of a slap probably if I am

working from the blue I say

stupid that is in my position and if

I’m working from the green

I probably said that was my position

do not feel and that is the one that I had and

that’s how relationships work, I can

say a person

I will vote a fist probably another

a slam in a difficult moment

relationship between you and the other will be

I do not like that as you told me and

seen the brain and having this in

Of course, let’s go here because the

difficulties between dads and children or

between boyfriends are given because one moves

from here when he does not move from this

place and to the typical situation not the

situation in which the two differences

old is very evident out one

party after the multiple friends

usually if you are fighting

someone who loves are

from here and be in one of those

moments in which if one is not

conscious as in santiago where

is to be able to move forward and find a

exit and a solution to this is going to

get stuck and usually says things

very very unpleasant that hurt the

another and that then feels a guilt

savings gigas for example this we are

we dads at times

functioning from everything emotional is

the moment when dad and it’s over

discussion and point

and we do not talk anymore scati anymore anymore and

you can not talk no but if it were you

friend nugget the one that will tell you about those

and it would stop being like that you do not care

that because you can not be with us

is that with you it’s always the same

I have to repeat everything ten times and you

you never learn until when will it be

Do I have to tell you

those are the things we say the

parents when we are there but since neither

what to say about what they say teenager

a teenager says things as it seems is

crazy you started the show but it’s

what are you doing the scanner on

another day or one that is coming out

party with you can not talk

Shut up, I fell super borda and when

you are the teenagers in group

and one can you hear that

moments when they remember events

all these phrases appear are you a

that are outdated that is amazing and

they have only realized the common

is when you sit down with people from the

one’s age and we all talk very

similar to our teenagers and

when one already teens to talk

they speak very similarly of what

dads and moms do the

moms for the government because of obvious

reasons why we talk more because

our language

we go that in general terms has

more words

We talk much more lora

much more and think that the

teenagers always tell how the two

moms drive them crazy

amounts of words you have but

when one reaches a teenager

arguing from here not where the

fault is not the miniskirt she is not

is high is that love is not expensive

state infantas

it’s not that I warned that I ‘m late

that the cell phone ran out of battery and you

what do you want me to do is

moving from here and if one has in

realize that one is in this place and

Now let’s see a little we can

do and look what happens is that it is

very complex are two different brains

it’s 12 euros at two different times

of the adolescent brain has very

particular

the adolescent brain has an input

that the adult brain does not have the

input that you have with what you

Feeds is one of novel situations

then of course you have to go to eat ice cream

to the new ice cream shop two years ago

row apples that you have to go because

It’s new and you have to wear the clothes of the

brand new because that’s fun

it also feeds on emotions

intense needs intense emotions

the teenagers do not think so

cool that to stay like that triple

other teens when you do not see them

happy they are super happy and

when they are angry, there is very

angry and if they are scared

normally one sees them doing things

that do not seem scared because in addition

all this emotional movement does that

it’s permanent gas for the

brain is developed so that the lord

also be separated from the parents

remember how the monkeys we saw

a little while ago the adolescent brain

need social relationships yes or yes

although it seems to us

to dads that are many why

now you are friends of who is

who is the time but the work is the

friend of whom dam no sign had

heard that I never heard you and you

you’re going to go to laura’s house

friend and she claimed they are that is what

they need teenagers and they are

social relations and in the moment in

that one tries to limit relationships

Social problems of adolescents plus crisis

there may be and the other thing that happens

very important with teenagers is

that teenagers love the

risk because it generates intense emotions

then when you go and make a

walk and they need the ration of

march to not run out super ships

exciting and that’s fine but the

teenagers who do not have many

risk experiences

Shannon will usually end up in

very complex places looking for that

it’s so important to know what will happen

and how will I move considering that

look what happens with the teenager and

the adult the brain of the adult to be

the author passed a thing completely

different

the brain of the pope says I need

control do not go so far let me know

where are you and if it is not I do not want that

keep calling me by cellphone tell me which one

it’s the landline because I need

have control

I need to guarantee the safety of my

son and at that moment he suffers the

dads brain you are saying

who attacks with me

relate with me yours that we

we want both the teenager needs

he does

also while I go do not bother me

so much because if I do not come back I reach

of follow-up come to rescue her

bathed and considering that

considering that they think this

it’s a double-track relationship

is a two – way relationship so

so much what makes this wonderful is

what is the connection between and adolescents

and parents between children and parents parents what

that makes the difference because all the

million question is and then I

as I get the stone that

again they take it out to me they are usually

the children as they take out the dads

yet

I no longer have what we do to be left without

to be able to leave the weekend because

where he talks harder than he touches

where I say a word that does not touch me

they will leave the weekend saved

What am I going to do today as a dad?

god where I spoke harder than the

account where I criticized Sofia now

that her new best friend

as we say the parents are not going to

stay the same and you will not want to be

weekend with me and lunch the

Sunday that I do then in these

moments and basically you have to think

that we are in the blue and you have to think

that we have to open the door to that

smart zone and the key to this is

connection flame

the key to this is called trying

let you know what I understand

It’s there when I tell my son

I know that for you important and this

we had made an agreement and it is

that if the cell phone was downloaded again

we will start winning until the

next Friday all night with you and

you do not know the party is difficult

different to be able to say I understand what

difficult to stay when you know

that everyone is there to tell you

you stay because you deserve it and this is what

typical and view and hopefully it hurts but

on the other side when it is not clear that

is about to fly on the stone

say lovemaking a crazy and you started

with the show and being able to stop that is the

key to take air

I say to that abdominal breathing

let this be the one who spoke santiago

breathe deeply that you will give them

you the two seconds to be able

decide if I tell her she’s crazy

I want to see you again or if you can say

this is probably telling me

it’s not the best time and we talk now

basically for this spam to choose

and that is what is is that

not if you can catch this does not work

automatically like the transantiago

they can choose where I am

and what can I do in my relationship with

my dads because I clearly fight with

the dads is very easy

[Applause]

and