hello everybody my name is Blythe Barrett thank you so much for the
Barrett thank you so much for the
Barrett thank you so much for the introduction I say it to the door um
introduction I say it to the door um
introduction I say it to the door um this is probably the coolest thing that
this is probably the coolest thing that
this is probably the coolest thing that I’ve ever gotten to do so I’m so excited
I’ve ever gotten to do so I’m so excited
I’ve ever gotten to do so I’m so excited to be here also how many people have
to be here also how many people have
to be here also how many people have been to a poetry slam ever well that’s
been to a poetry slam ever well that’s
been to a poetry slam ever well that’s so exciting great
so exciting great
so exciting great so you know that during poetry Sims
so you know that during poetry Sims
so you know that during poetry Sims people are allowed to react the audience
people are allowed to react the audience
people are allowed to react the audience can snap if you’re feeling something you
can snap if you’re feeling something you
can snap if you’re feeling something you can like make an animal noise I don’t
can like make an animal noise I don’t
can like make an animal noise I don’t care what you do my favorite one is like
care what you do my favorite one is like
care what you do my favorite one is like mmm that’s what I like to do but yeah so
mmm that’s what I like to do but yeah so
mmm that’s what I like to do but yeah so if you want to do that that’s super cool
if you want to do that that’s super cool
if you want to do that that’s super cool if not I also won’t be offended but I
if not I also won’t be offended but I
if not I also won’t be offended but I have three poems for you today
have three poems for you today
have three poems for you today and I’m really excited to do them
and I’m really excited to do them
and I’m really excited to do them because as a young woman I don’t often
because as a young woman I don’t often
because as a young woman I don’t often get to feel powerful and when I perform
get to feel powerful and when I perform
get to feel powerful and when I perform my poetry I get to feel powerful so
my poetry I get to feel powerful so
my poetry I get to feel powerful so thank you for giving me the space
thank you for giving me the space
thank you for giving me the space [Applause]
pocket-sized feminism the only other
pocket-sized feminism the only other girl at the party is ranting about
girl at the party is ranting about
girl at the party is ranting about feminism the audience a sea of rape
feminism the audience a sea of rape
feminism the audience a sea of rape jokes and snapbacks and styrofoam cups
jokes and snapbacks and styrofoam cups
jokes and snapbacks and styrofoam cups and me they gawk in her mouth like it is
and me they gawk in her mouth like it is
and me they gawk in her mouth like it is a drain clogged with too many opinions I
a drain clogged with too many opinions I
a drain clogged with too many opinions I shoot her an empathetic glance and say
shoot her an empathetic glance and say
shoot her an empathetic glance and say nothing this house is for wallpaper
nothing this house is for wallpaper
nothing this house is for wallpaper women what good is wallpaper that speaks
women what good is wallpaper that speaks
women what good is wallpaper that speaks I want to stand up but if I do whose
I want to stand up but if I do whose
I want to stand up but if I do whose coffee table silence will these boys
coffee table silence will these boys
coffee table silence will these boys rest their feet on these boys I want to
rest their feet on these boys I want to
rest their feet on these boys I want to stand up but if I do what if someone
stand up but if I do what if someone
stand up but if I do what if someone takes my spot I want to stand up but if
takes my spot I want to stand up but if
takes my spot I want to stand up but if I do what if everyone notices i’ve been
I do what if everyone notices i’ve been
I do what if everyone notices i’ve been sitting this whole time i’m ashamed of
sitting this whole time i’m ashamed of
sitting this whole time i’m ashamed of keeping my feminism in my pocket until
keeping my feminism in my pocket until
keeping my feminism in my pocket until it is convenient not to like it poetry
it is convenient not to like it poetry
it is convenient not to like it poetry slams or women’s studies classes there
slams or women’s studies classes there
slams or women’s studies classes there are days I want people to like me more
are days I want people to like me more
are days I want people to like me more than I want to change the world
than I want to change the world
than I want to change the world once I forgave a predator because I was
once I forgave a predator because I was
once I forgave a predator because I was afraid to start drama and our friend
afraid to start drama and our friend
afraid to start drama and our friend group two weeks later he assaulted
group two weeks later he assaulted
group two weeks later he assaulted someone else I am still carrying the
someone else I am still carrying the
someone else I am still carrying the guilt in my purse there are days I
guilt in my purse there are days I
guilt in my purse there are days I forget we had to invent nail polish to
forget we had to invent nail polish to
forget we had to invent nail polish to change colour and drug drinks and apps
change colour and drug drinks and apps
change colour and drug drinks and apps to virtually walk us home in lipstick
to virtually walk us home in lipstick
to virtually walk us home in lipstick shaped Mason underwear designed to
shaped Mason underwear designed to
shaped Mason underwear designed to prevent rape once a man behind me on an
prevent rape once a man behind me on an
prevent rape once a man behind me on an escalator shoved his hand up my skirt no
escalator shoved his hand up my skirt no
escalator shoved his hand up my skirt no one around me said anything so I didn’t
one around me said anything so I didn’t
one around me said anything so I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to
say anything because I didn’t want to
say anything because I didn’t want to make a scene once an adult man made a
make a scene once an adult man made a
make a scene once an adult man made a necklace out of his hands for me and I
necklace out of his hands for me and I
necklace out of his hands for me and I still wake up in hot sweats haunted with
still wake up in hot sweats haunted with
still wake up in hot sweats haunted with images of the herd of girls he assaulted
images of the herd of girls he assaulted
images of the herd of girls he assaulted after I didn’t report all younger than
after I didn’t report all younger than
after I didn’t report all younger than me how am I to forgive myself for doing
me how am I to forgive myself for doing
me how am I to forgive myself for doing nothing in the mouth of trauma his
nothing in the mouth of trauma his
nothing in the mouth of trauma his silence not an act of violence to once I
silence not an act of violence to once I
silence not an act of violence to once I told the boy I was powerful and he told
told the boy I was powerful and he told
told the boy I was powerful and he told me to mind my own business once a boy
me to mind my own business once a boy
me to mind my own business once a boy accused me of practicing misandry you
accused me of practicing misandry you
accused me of practicing misandry you think you can take over the world and I
think you can take over the world and I
think you can take over the world and I said no I just want to see it I just
said no I just want to see it I just
said no I just want to see it I just need to know it is there for someone
need to know it is there for someone
need to know it is there for someone once my dad informed me sexism is dead
once my dad informed me sexism is dead
once my dad informed me sexism is dead and reminded me to always carry pepper
and reminded me to always carry pepper
and reminded me to always carry pepper spray in the same breath we accept this
spray in the same breath we accept this
spray in the same breath we accept this state of
state of
state of constant fear is just another component
constant fear is just another component
constant fear is just another component of being a girl we text each other when
of being a girl we text each other when
of being a girl we text each other when we get home safe and it does not occur
we get home safe and it does not occur
we get home safe and it does not occur to us that not all of our guy friends
to us that not all of our guy friends
to us that not all of our guy friends have to do the same you could literally
have to do the same you could literally
have to do the same you could literally you could literally saw a woman in half
you could literally saw a woman in half
you could literally saw a woman in half and it would still be called a magic
and it would still be called a magic
and it would still be called a magic trick wouldn’t it that’s why you invited
trick wouldn’t it that’s why you invited
trick wouldn’t it that’s why you invited us here isn’t it because there is no
us here isn’t it because there is no
us here isn’t it because there is no show without a beautiful assistant we
show without a beautiful assistant we
show without a beautiful assistant we are surrounded by boys who hang up our
are surrounded by boys who hang up our
are surrounded by boys who hang up our naked posters and fantasize about
naked posters and fantasize about
naked posters and fantasize about choking us and watch movies we get
choking us and watch movies we get
choking us and watch movies we get murdered in we are the daughters of men
murdered in we are the daughters of men
murdered in we are the daughters of men who warned us about the news and the
who warned us about the news and the
who warned us about the news and the missing girls on the milk carton in the
missing girls on the milk carton in the
missing girls on the milk carton in the sharp edge of the world they begged us
sharp edge of the world they begged us
sharp edge of the world they begged us to be careful to be safe then told our
to be careful to be safe then told our
to be careful to be safe then told our brothers to go out and play thank you
brothers to go out and play thank you
brothers to go out and play thank you [Applause]
when the fat girl gets skinny the year
when the fat girl gets skinny the year of skinny pop and sugar-free jell-o cups
of skinny pop and sugar-free jell-o cups
of skinny pop and sugar-free jell-o cups we guzzled vitamin water in vodka
we guzzled vitamin water in vodka
we guzzled vitamin water in vodka toasting to highschool in survival
toasting to highschool in survival
toasting to highschool in survival complementing each other’s collarbones
complementing each other’s collarbones
complementing each other’s collarbones trying diets we found on the internet
trying diets we found on the internet
trying diets we found on the internet menthol cigarettes eating in front of a
menthol cigarettes eating in front of a
menthol cigarettes eating in front of a mirror donating blood replacing meals
mirror donating blood replacing meals
mirror donating blood replacing meals with other practical hobbies like making
with other practical hobbies like making
with other practical hobbies like making flower crowns or fainting wondering why
flower crowns or fainting wondering why
flower crowns or fainting wondering why I haven’t had my period in months why
I haven’t had my period in months why
I haven’t had my period in months why breakfast
breakfast
breakfast tastes like giving up or how many more
tastes like giving up or how many more
tastes like giving up or how many more productive ways I could have spent my
productive ways I could have spent my
productive ways I could have spent my time today besides googling the calories
time today besides googling the calories
time today besides googling the calories in the glue of a u.s. envelope watching
in the glue of a u.s. envelope watching
in the glue of a u.s. envelope watching America’s Next Top Model like the gospel
America’s Next Top Model like the gospel
America’s Next Top Model like the gospel hunching naked over a bathroom scale
hunching naked over a bathroom scale
hunching naked over a bathroom scale shrine crying into an empty bowl of
shrine crying into an empty bowl of
shrine crying into an empty bowl of cocoa puffs because I only feel pretty
cocoa puffs because I only feel pretty
cocoa puffs because I only feel pretty when I’m hungry if you are not
when I’m hungry if you are not
when I’m hungry if you are not recovering you are dying by the time I
recovering you are dying by the time I
recovering you are dying by the time I was 16 I had already experienced being
was 16 I had already experienced being
was 16 I had already experienced being clinically overweight underweight and
clinically overweight underweight and
clinically overweight underweight and obese as a child fat was the first word
obese as a child fat was the first word
obese as a child fat was the first word people used to describe me which didn’t
people used to describe me which didn’t
people used to describe me which didn’t offend me until I found out it was
offend me until I found out it was
offend me until I found out it was supposed to when I lost weight my dad
supposed to when I lost weight my dad
supposed to when I lost weight my dad was so proud he started carrying my
was so proud he started carrying my
was so proud he started carrying my before and after photo in his wallet so
before and after photo in his wallet so
before and after photo in his wallet so relieved he could stop worrying about me
relieved he could stop worrying about me
relieved he could stop worrying about me getting diabetes he saw a program on the
getting diabetes he saw a program on the
getting diabetes he saw a program on the news about the epidemic with obesity
news about the epidemic with obesity
news about the epidemic with obesity says he is just so glad to finally see
says he is just so glad to finally see
says he is just so glad to finally see me taking care of myself if you develop
me taking care of myself if you develop
me taking care of myself if you develop an eating disorder when you are already
an eating disorder when you are already
an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the
thin to begin with you go to the
thin to begin with you go to the hospital if you develop an eating
hospital if you develop an eating
hospital if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin
disorder when you are not thin to begin
disorder when you are not thin to begin with you are a success story so when I
with you are a success story so when I
with you are a success story so when I evaporated of course everyone
evaporated of course everyone
evaporated of course everyone congratulated me on getting healthy
congratulated me on getting healthy
congratulated me on getting healthy girls at school who never spoke to me
girls at school who never spoke to me
girls at school who never spoke to me before stop me in the hallway to ask how
before stop me in the hallway to ask how
before stop me in the hallway to ask how I did it I say I am sick they say no
I did it I say I am sick they say no
I did it I say I am sick they say no you’re an inspiration how could I not
you’re an inspiration how could I not
you’re an inspiration how could I not fall in love with my illness with
fall in love with my illness with
fall in love with my illness with becoming the kind of silhouette people
becoming the kind of silhouette people
becoming the kind of silhouette people are supposed to fall in love with why
are supposed to fall in love with why
are supposed to fall in love with why what’d I ever want to stop being hungry
what’d I ever want to stop being hungry
what’d I ever want to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting
when anorexia was the most interesting
when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me so how lucky is now to be
thing about me so how lucky is now to be
thing about me so how lucky is now to be boring the way not going to the hospital
boring the way not going to the hospital
boring the way not going to the hospital is boring the way looking at an apple
is boring the way looking at an apple
is boring the way looking at an apple and seeing only an apple not sixty or
and seeing only an apple not sixty or
and seeing only an apple not sixty or half an hour of sit-ups is boring my
half an hour of sit-ups is boring my
half an hour of sit-ups is boring my story may not be as exciting as it used
story may not be as exciting as it used
story may not be as exciting as it used to but at least there is nothing left to
to but at least there is nothing left to
to but at least there is nothing left to count the calculator in my head finally
count the calculator in my head finally
count the calculator in my head finally stopped I used to love the feeling of
stopped I used to love the feeling of
stopped I used to love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach
drinking water on an empty stomach
drinking water on an empty stomach waiting for the coolness to slip all the
waiting for the coolness to slip all the
waiting for the coolness to slip all the way down and land in the well not
way down and land in the well not
way down and land in the well not obsessed with being empty but afraid of
obsessed with being empty but afraid of
obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full I used to take pride in being
being full I used to take pride in being
being full I used to take pride in being able to feel cold in a warm room now I
able to feel cold in a warm room now I
able to feel cold in a warm room now I am proud I have stopped seeking revenge
am proud I have stopped seeking revenge
am proud I have stopped seeking revenge on this body this was the year of eating
on this body this was the year of eating
on this body this was the year of eating when I was hungry without punishing
when I was hungry without punishing
when I was hungry without punishing myself and I know it sounds ridiculous
myself and I know it sounds ridiculous
myself and I know it sounds ridiculous but that is hard when I was little
but that is hard when I was little
but that is hard when I was little someone asked me what I wanted to be
someone asked me what I wanted to be
someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said small thank
when I grew up and I said small thank
when I grew up and I said small thank you
I have one more poem thank you guys so
I have one more poem thank you guys so much for being such a wonderful audience
much for being such a wonderful audience
much for being such a wonderful audience [Applause]
perhaps this body belongs to the first
perhaps this body belongs to the first time I was raped and I think about how
time I was raped and I think about how
time I was raped and I think about how up it is to begin a sentence with
up it is to begin a sentence with
up it is to begin a sentence with the first time I was raped and how when
the first time I was raped and how when
the first time I was raped and how when I talked to other women about this it
I talked to other women about this it
I talked to other women about this it almost seems like it’s not even if
almost seems like it’s not even if
almost seems like it’s not even if you’ve been assaulted
you’ve been assaulted
you’ve been assaulted but when see women have so much in
but when see women have so much in
but when see women have so much in common such as loving Zumba being
common such as loving Zumba being
common such as loving Zumba being interrupted experiencing violence and
interrupted experiencing violence and
interrupted experiencing violence and when another male friend turns out to be
when another male friend turns out to be
when another male friend turns out to be a rapist the same male friend who wore
a rapist the same male friend who wore
a rapist the same male friend who wore feminism across his chest like a pageant
feminism across his chest like a pageant
feminism across his chest like a pageant sash I cannot help but remember meeting
sash I cannot help but remember meeting
sash I cannot help but remember meeting him at a sexual violence prevention
him at a sexual violence prevention
him at a sexual violence prevention rally in the disappointing irony and
rally in the disappointing irony and
rally in the disappointing irony and when another male friend who identifies
when another male friend who identifies
when another male friend who identifies as a feminist gives himself permission
as a feminist gives himself permission
as a feminist gives himself permission to make a rape joke and has the nerve to
to make a rape joke and has the nerve to
to make a rape joke and has the nerve to call it rock lamb Ettore never mind that
call it rock lamb Ettore never mind that
call it rock lamb Ettore never mind that the joke just validated the actions of
the joke just validated the actions of
the joke just validated the actions of the silent predator sitting next to him
the silent predator sitting next to him
the silent predator sitting next to him never mind that the joke just made a
never mind that the joke just made a
never mind that the joke just made a survivor across from him relive what was
survivor across from him relive what was
survivor across from him relive what was likely the worst thing to ever happen to
likely the worst thing to ever happen to
likely the worst thing to ever happen to them and you men who posed this
them and you men who posed this
them and you men who posed this activists scratch your head wonder why
activists scratch your head wonder why
activists scratch your head wonder why women are so terrified to report will
women are so terrified to report will
women are so terrified to report will you shrug your shoulders and make our
you shrug your shoulders and make our
you shrug your shoulders and make our trauma into your victory lap the reason
trauma into your victory lap the reason
trauma into your victory lap the reason you fist bumped your friends over craft
you fist bumped your friends over craft
you fist bumped your friends over craft beers at the bar how could I expect this
beers at the bar how could I expect this
beers at the bar how could I expect this body to be perfect for anything but the
body to be perfect for anything but the
body to be perfect for anything but the punchline and if I do not laugh I am no
punchline and if I do not laugh I am no
punchline and if I do not laugh I am no longer the cool girl but the one who
longer the cool girl but the one who
longer the cool girl but the one who cannot take a joke I have run out of
cannot take a joke I have run out of
cannot take a joke I have run out of compassion for wolves I have run out of
compassion for wolves I have run out of
compassion for wolves I have run out of compassion for anyone who isn’t outraged
compassion for anyone who isn’t outraged
compassion for anyone who isn’t outraged I ran in this stubborn body followed I
I ran in this stubborn body followed I
I ran in this stubborn body followed I am the opposite of forgiveness I am all
am the opposite of forgiveness I am all
am the opposite of forgiveness I am all raged and shrieked and flame outside of
raged and shrieked and flame outside of
raged and shrieked and flame outside of the women’s freshman dormitory at Yale
the women’s freshman dormitory at Yale
the women’s freshman dormitory at Yale fraternity pledges chanted no means yes
fraternity pledges chanted no means yes
fraternity pledges chanted no means yes yes means anal I dead women and
yes means anal I dead women and
yes means anal I dead women and fill them with my semen a woman is found
fill them with my semen a woman is found
fill them with my semen a woman is found unconscious behind a dumpster pine
unconscious behind a dumpster pine
unconscious behind a dumpster pine needle
needle
needle and her hair naked wounded violated by a
and her hair naked wounded violated by a
and her hair naked wounded violated by a star Stanford athlete meanwhile the
star Stanford athlete meanwhile the
star Stanford athlete meanwhile the press is more concerned with how this
press is more concerned with how this
press is more concerned with how this experience has taken away her assailants
experience has taken away her assailants
experience has taken away her assailants appetite this is not to say that all men
appetite this is not to say that all men
appetite this is not to say that all men are hungry this is not even to say that
are hungry this is not even to say that
are hungry this is not even to say that all men are hunting but haven’t we all
all men are hunting but haven’t we all
all men are hunting but haven’t we all found the bones of a woman stuck like
found the bones of a woman stuck like
found the bones of a woman stuck like leftovers between a full man’s teeth
leftovers between a full man’s teeth
leftovers between a full man’s teeth there is a fraternity in Minnesota that
there is a fraternity in Minnesota that
there is a fraternity in Minnesota that paints the stone lions outside their
paints the stone lions outside their
paints the stone lions outside their front door the color of the panties of
front door the color of the panties of
front door the color of the panties of the last girl they successfully
the last girl they successfully
the last girl they successfully assaulted you call this rape culture I
assaulted you call this rape culture I
assaulted you call this rape culture I call it this morning I was cat
call it this morning I was cat
call it this morning I was cat called four times on the way here and if
called four times on the way here and if
called four times on the way here and if my trauma were made into an art museum
my trauma were made into an art museum
my trauma were made into an art museum the most popular exhibit which showcased
the most popular exhibit which showcased
the most popular exhibit which showcased portraits of every man who has ever
portraits of every man who has ever
portraits of every man who has ever assaulted me snarling and the smell of
assaulted me snarling and the smell of
assaulted me snarling and the smell of his sweat on my pillowcase follows me to
his sweat on my pillowcase follows me to
his sweat on my pillowcase follows me to sociology and the whole class can tell
sociology and the whole class can tell
sociology and the whole class can tell that most days I am more victim than I
that most days I am more victim than I
that most days I am more victim than I am survivor and in this room I try to
am survivor and in this room I try to
am survivor and in this room I try to write a poem about anything other than
write a poem about anything other than
write a poem about anything other than my sexual assault but all that comes out
my sexual assault but all that comes out
my sexual assault but all that comes out is my throat in his hands hours before
is my throat in his hands hours before
is my throat in his hands hours before one of my best friends raped me on our
one of my best friends raped me on our
one of my best friends raped me on our college campus we discussed the prospect
college campus we discussed the prospect
college campus we discussed the prospect of astral projection he couldn’t
of astral projection he couldn’t
of astral projection he couldn’t understand why I wanted to experience it
understand why I wanted to experience it
understand why I wanted to experience it so badly why would anyone want to leave
so badly why would anyone want to leave
so badly why would anyone want to leave their body he laughed and in this moment
their body he laughed and in this moment
their body he laughed and in this moment we had nothing in the world in common
we had nothing in the world in common
we had nothing in the world in common thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
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