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Parents’ Effect on Youth | Alex Lalov | TEDxYouth@AASSofia


[Music]

[Music] hello everyone what do you think of when

hello everyone what do you think of when

hello everyone what do you think of when I say freedom of choice maybe you think

I say freedom of choice maybe you think

I say freedom of choice maybe you think of the freedom to choose which path to

of the freedom to choose which path to

of the freedom to choose which path to take in your lifetime or what food is

take in your lifetime or what food is

take in your lifetime or what food is chose to eat today

chose to eat today

chose to eat today well basically the same thing well in my

well basically the same thing well in my

well basically the same thing well in my head when I hear freedom of choice I

head when I hear freedom of choice I

head when I hear freedom of choice I think of the freedom that is given to

think of the freedom that is given to

think of the freedom that is given to every single one of us

every single one of us

every single one of us it is a freedom that we take for granted

it is a freedom that we take for granted

it is a freedom that we take for granted in such communities as ours we never

in such communities as ours we never

in such communities as ours we never stop to think what it would be like

stop to think what it would be like

stop to think what it would be like without that freedom so I’m here today

without that freedom so I’m here today

without that freedom so I’m here today to talk about parents influence over

to talk about parents influence over

to talk about parents influence over one’s freedom of choice one of the

one’s freedom of choice one of the

one’s freedom of choice one of the factors parents influence is of their

factors parents influence is of their

factors parents influence is of their children’s relationships most commonly

children’s relationships most commonly

children’s relationships most commonly when it comes to forced marriages a

when it comes to forced marriages a

when it comes to forced marriages a forced marriage is a marriage in which

forced marriage is a marriage in which

forced marriage is a marriage in which one of the parties is married without

one of the parties is married without

one of the parties is married without consent such a thing happened to Jasmine

consent such a thing happened to Jasmine

consent such a thing happened to Jasmine there sang here 35 years ago in the UK

there sang here 35 years ago in the UK

there sang here 35 years ago in the UK when she at the age of 8 was told her by

when she at the age of 8 was told her by

when she at the age of 8 was told her by her parents that when she reached the

her parents that when she reached the

her parents that when she reached the age of 18 she were to marry her arranged

age of 18 she were to marry her arranged

age of 18 she were to marry her arranged husband of course as time flew by and

husband of course as time flew by and

husband of course as time flew by and the day came she ran away

the day came she ran away

the day came she ran away but the crossroads that she stood at it

but the crossroads that she stood at it

but the crossroads that she stood at it was either freedom or honor that day she

was either freedom or honor that day she

was either freedom or honor that day she chose freedom and has no regrets for it

chose freedom and has no regrets for it

chose freedom and has no regrets for it since now she has three kids and still

since now she has three kids and still

since now she has three kids and still lives in the UK she has also created an

lives in the UK she has also created an

lives in the UK she has also created an organisation named Carmen Ivana

organisation named Carmen Ivana

organisation named Carmen Ivana Carmen urbanism is an organization that

Carmen urbanism is an organization that

Carmen urbanism is an organization that focuses on raising awareness about such

focuses on raising awareness about such

focuses on raising awareness about such things as this it it gets help from

things as this it it gets help from

things as this it it gets help from awards donors and I would at least

awards donors and I would at least

awards donors and I would at least encourage checking out their website the

encourage checking out their website the

encourage checking out their website the organization was made all the way back

organization was made all the way back

organization was made all the way back in 1993 the motivation was a Jasmine her

in 1993 the motivation was a Jasmine her

in 1993 the motivation was a Jasmine her sister whose name was Rubina and Robina

sister whose name was Rubina and Robina

sister whose name was Rubina and Robina was driven to suicide after having to be

was driven to suicide after having to be

was driven to suicide after having to be married to her arranged husband who was

married to her arranged husband who was

married to her arranged husband who was way too abusive of her Jasmine Durr her

way too abusive of her Jasmine Durr her

way too abusive of her Jasmine Durr her sister and many others are victims to

sister and many others are victims to

sister and many others are victims to forced marriages but these are all

forced marriages but these are all

forced marriages but these are all extreme cases in which one’s future is

extreme cases in which one’s future is

extreme cases in which one’s future is affected by their parents what about

affected by their parents what about

affected by their parents what about some of the more subtle ways which

some of the more subtle ways which

some of the more subtle ways which parents affect one’s future which brings

parents affect one’s future which brings

parents affect one’s future which brings me to my second point about education

me to my second point about education

me to my second point about education sometimes parents oversee the fact that

sometimes parents oversee the fact that

sometimes parents oversee the fact that their child has a mind of their own

their child has a mind of their own

their child has a mind of their own sometimes parent so we see the fact that

sometimes parent so we see the fact that

sometimes parent so we see the fact that their child has different interests in

their child has different interests in

their child has different interests in them in those times the parent might

them in those times the parent might

them in those times the parent might force the child to study a specific

force the child to study a specific

force the child to study a specific field or his other skull like get a real

field or his other skull like get a real

field or his other skull like get a real job now during the 1930s the world’s

job now during the 1930s the world’s

job now during the 1930s the world’s perspective of what one can do was a lot

perspective of what one can do was a lot

perspective of what one can do was a lot smaller everyone was a lot more

smaller everyone was a lot more

smaller everyone was a lot more narrow-minded but during those times

narrow-minded but during those times

narrow-minded but during those times people like Gillian Nene and Matt

people like Gillian Nene and Matt

people like Gillian Nene and Matt Groening persevered

Groening persevered

Groening persevered Gillian na was accused of having a

Gillian na was accused of having a

Gillian na was accused of having a learning disorder at the age of eight

learning disorder at the age of eight

learning disorder at the age of eight this was because she was very

this was because she was very

this was because she was very disorganized and distracted in school

disorganized and distracted in school

disorganized and distracted in school the school had immediately written to

the school had immediately written to

the school had immediately written to her parents that she that they would

her parents that she that they would

her parents that she that they would suggest that she would be sent to a

suggest that she would be sent to a

suggest that she would be sent to a school for kids with such disorders but

school for kids with such disorders but

school for kids with such disorders but before doing that her mother had taken

before doing that her mother had taken

before doing that her mother had taken her to a psychologist we’re midway

her to a psychologist we’re midway

her to a psychologist we’re midway through her the session of the

through her the session of the

through her the session of the psychologist her mother and the

psychologist her mother and the

psychologist her mother and the psychologist went outside to talk but

psychologist went outside to talk but

psychologist went outside to talk but what really happened is they went

what really happened is they went

what really happened is they went outside and peeked in through a hidden

outside and peeked in through a hidden

outside and peeked in through a hidden window that would allow them to see

window that would allow them to see

window that would allow them to see Gillian and she would not be able to see

Gillian and she would not be able to see

Gillian and she would not be able to see them the psychologist would want to see

them the psychologist would want to see

them the psychologist would want to see how they would be would react to music

how they would be would react to music

how they would be would react to music and his music filled the room Gillian

and his music filled the room Gillian

and his music filled the room Gillian started dancing gracefully it had turned

started dancing gracefully it had turned

started dancing gracefully it had turned out that all she wanted to do is dance

out that all she wanted to do is dance

out that all she wanted to do is dance and that’s why she was so distracted in

and that’s why she was so distracted in

and that’s why she was so distracted in school later on her parents had sent her

school later on her parents had sent her

school later on her parents had sent her to a music school and she grew up to be

to a music school and she grew up to be

to a music school and she grew up to be the famous ballet dancer she is now

the famous ballet dancer she is now

the famous ballet dancer she is now another example of a person who

another example of a person who

another example of a person who persevered in 1930s was a Matt Groening

persevered in 1930s was a Matt Groening

persevered in 1930s was a Matt Groening who by the way if you didn’t know

who by the way if you didn’t know

who by the way if you didn’t know created the Simpsons now Matt Groening

created the Simpsons now Matt Groening

created the Simpsons now Matt Groening was a very average boy at school he had

was a very average boy at school he had

was a very average boy at school he had decent grades he was never really that

decent grades he was never really that

decent grades he was never really that good at art but during his years of

good at art but during his years of

good at art but during his years of school he started getting very bored of

school he started getting very bored of

school he started getting very bored of it so during that free time that he had

it so during that free time that he had

it so during that free time that he had when he was bored he decided to start

when he was bored he decided to start

when he was bored he decided to start drawing he got so good at drawing to the

drawing he got so good at drawing to the

drawing he got so good at drawing to the point where he would literally be able

point where he would literally be able

point where he would literally be able to draw without even looking at the

to draw without even looking at the

to draw without even looking at the paper just to ruse his teachers he

paper just to ruse his teachers he

paper just to ruse his teachers he continued on drawing even after

continued on drawing even after

continued on drawing even after graduation and everybody had grown up

graduation and everybody had grown up

graduation and everybody had grown up except him his parents immediately took

except him his parents immediately took

except him his parents immediately took notice of this and told him that he

notice of this and told him that he

notice of this and told him that he cannot keep on drawing these silly

cannot keep on drawing these silly

cannot keep on drawing these silly characters all day in his room so but

characters all day in his room so but

characters all day in his room so but Matt never really saw himself in a suit

Matt never really saw himself in a suit

Matt never really saw himself in a suit and

and

and I going to work with some briefcase in

I going to work with some briefcase in

I going to work with some briefcase in some office building so this sort of

some office building so this sort of

some office building so this sort of mindset caused him to be able to create

mindset caused him to be able to create

mindset caused him to be able to create such a show as The Simpsons but both of

such a show as The Simpsons but both of

such a show as The Simpsons but both of these cases end with a happy ending what

these cases end with a happy ending what

these cases end with a happy ending what about some of the cases that don’t end

about some of the cases that don’t end

about some of the cases that don’t end like that let’s take for example more

like that let’s take for example more

like that let’s take for example more personal example of mine of my cousin

personal example of mine of my cousin

personal example of mine of my cousin let’s name him James

let’s name him James

let’s name him James now James’s father had recently told him

now James’s father had recently told him

now James’s father had recently told him that he has to inherit his dad’s company

that he has to inherit his dad’s company

that he has to inherit his dad’s company which relies on a good architect like

which relies on a good architect like

which relies on a good architect like his father to be successful but James

his father to be successful but James

his father to be successful but James was never really that good of an

was never really that good of an

was never really that good of an architect he was always an engineer type

architect he was always an engineer type

architect he was always an engineer type of guy whilst growing up with James he

of guy whilst growing up with James he

of guy whilst growing up with James he would always want to know how things

would always want to know how things

would always want to know how things were manufactured how things worked how

were manufactured how things worked how

were manufactured how things worked how things were made yet when college came

things were made yet when college came

things were made yet when college came around he had to enlist in a college

around he had to enlist in a college

around he had to enlist in a college that would allow him to study in the

that would allow him to study in the

that would allow him to study in the field of architecture just because he

field of architecture just because he

field of architecture just because he was following his father’s dreams

was following his father’s dreams

was following his father’s dreams instead of his own the book called the

instead of his own the book called the

instead of his own the book called the element is a novel written by Ken

element is a novel written by Ken

element is a novel written by Ken Robeson that states that there is such a

Robeson that states that there is such a

Robeson that states that there is such a thing called the element which is a

thing called the element which is a

thing called the element which is a point in time where one is at maximum

point in time where one is at maximum

point in time where one is at maximum peace with themselves this point in time

peace with themselves this point in time

peace with themselves this point in time is achieved through doing the thing you

is achieved through doing the thing you

is achieved through doing the thing you love and disregarding anyone that’s

love and disregarding anyone that’s

love and disregarding anyone that’s telling me otherwise in this case what

telling me otherwise in this case what

telling me otherwise in this case what is parents now there is one more factor

is parents now there is one more factor

is parents now there is one more factor that I want to talk about that is a big

that I want to talk about that is a big

that I want to talk about that is a big what-if compared to my other two which

what-if compared to my other two which

what-if compared to my other two which were education and relationships it’s on

were education and relationships it’s on

were education and relationships it’s on the topic of religion now to really

the topic of religion now to really

the topic of religion now to really understand this topic we need to take a

understand this topic we need to take a

understand this topic we need to take a step back and evaluate the beginning of

step back and evaluate the beginning of

step back and evaluate the beginning of our lives where we add birth without the

our lives where we add birth without the

our lives where we add birth without the choice inherit our parents religion so

choice inherit our parents religion so

choice inherit our parents religion so should kids be able to choose their own

should kids be able to choose their own

should kids be able to choose their own religion at anytime they want

religion at anytime they want

religion at anytime they want this of course would only be possible if

this of course would only be possible if

this of course would only be possible if the parent were to agree to give the kid

the parent were to agree to give the kid

the parent were to agree to give the kid the right materials and knowledge of

the right materials and knowledge of

the right materials and knowledge of each religion so that in the end the kid

each religion so that in the end the kid

each religion so that in the end the kid can choose another one this doesn’t

can choose another one this doesn’t

can choose another one this doesn’t necessarily mean another one the kid can

necessarily mean another one the kid can

necessarily mean another one the kid can choose the same one as well let’s take

choose the same one as well let’s take

choose the same one as well let’s take another personal example of my friend

another personal example of my friend

another personal example of my friend let’s go home Joe now Joseph’s family

let’s go home Joe now Joseph’s family

let’s go home Joe now Joseph’s family are Christians his father even a priest

are Christians his father even a priest

are Christians his father even a priest yet he is an atheist the the family

yet he is an atheist the the family

yet he is an atheist the the family hasn’t has nothing against them or his

hasn’t has nothing against them or his

hasn’t has nothing against them or his belief this sort of mindset in my

belief this sort of mindset in my

belief this sort of mindset in my opinion is the correct mindset to think

opinion is the correct mindset to think

opinion is the correct mindset to think of yet there are other cases in which

of yet there are other cases in which

of yet there are other cases in which our parents and families embed the

our parents and families embed the

our parents and families embed the religion on to their kid not allowing

religion on to their kid not allowing

religion on to their kid not allowing them to learn of any other one narrowing

them to learn of any other one narrowing

them to learn of any other one narrowing their perspective of the whole world

their perspective of the whole world

their perspective of the whole world so I kids responsible enough to choose

so I kids responsible enough to choose

so I kids responsible enough to choose who they love our kids responsible

who they love our kids responsible

who they love our kids responsible enough to choose what career they are

enough to choose what career they are

enough to choose what career they are going to take our kids responsible

going to take our kids responsible

going to take our kids responsible enough to choose what belief they’re

enough to choose what belief they’re

enough to choose what belief they’re going to believe in in my opinion they

going to believe in in my opinion they

going to believe in in my opinion they are but in yours that might not be the

are but in yours that might not be the

are but in yours that might not be the case but of course I’m not saying that

case but of course I’m not saying that

case but of course I’m not saying that one should never listen to their parents

one should never listen to their parents

one should never listen to their parents or rebel one should probably listen to

or rebel one should probably listen to

or rebel one should probably listen to them most of the time but when it comes

them most of the time but when it comes

them most of the time but when it comes to one’s dreams don’t let anyone tell

to one’s dreams don’t let anyone tell

to one’s dreams don’t let anyone tell you otherwise thank

you otherwise thank

you otherwise thank [Applause]

”

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