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Overcoming Obstacles | Maya Jama | TEDxYouth@ISA


when I was first asked to do this I

when I was first asked to do this I suppose I was kind of feeling like I

suppose I was kind of feeling like I

suppose I was kind of feeling like I don’t know like

don’t know like

don’t know like sure about what I talked about and I’m

sure about what I talked about and I’m

sure about what I talked about and I’m not like an expert on anything and then

not like an expert on anything and then

not like an expert on anything and then I thought again and I kind of get asked

I thought again and I kind of get asked

I thought again and I kind of get asked the same questions every day whether it

the same questions every day whether it

the same questions every day whether it be through an interview or through young

be through an interview or through young

be through an interview or through young girls and boys messaging me on snapchat

girls and boys messaging me on snapchat

girls and boys messaging me on snapchat or online on Twitter and Instagram and

or online on Twitter and Instagram and

or online on Twitter and Instagram and the questions are usually how did you

the questions are usually how did you

the questions are usually how did you get into your job so young what

get into your job so young what

get into your job so young what difficulties do you face in your job and

difficulties do you face in your job and

difficulties do you face in your job and how do you say so happy all the time

how do you say so happy all the time

how do you say so happy all the time when you’re so busy and so I kind of

when you’re so busy and so I kind of

when you’re so busy and so I kind of reply to these questions and I’ve

reply to these questions and I’ve

reply to these questions and I’ve answered interviews and given these

answered interviews and given these

answered interviews and given these answers but I’ve never really told like

answers but I’ve never really told like

answers but I’ve never really told like the whole story behind things and I’ve

the whole story behind things and I’ve

the whole story behind things and I’ve never really given a full answer whoever

never really given a full answer whoever

never really given a full answer whoever actually explained like the whole truth

actually explained like the whole truth

actually explained like the whole truth I suppose so we’ve just been a little

I suppose so we’ve just been a little

I suppose so we’ve just been a little tastes maybe because I’ve been a bit

tastes maybe because I’ve been a bit

tastes maybe because I’ve been a bit scared or there’s never been the right

scared or there’s never been the right

scared or there’s never been the right time or just not the right platform and

time or just not the right platform and

time or just not the right platform and so I’ve been asked to do this today I

so I’ve been asked to do this today I

so I’ve been asked to do this today I was like okay well there’s the platform

was like okay well there’s the platform

was like okay well there’s the platform and time and wise I feel like now more

and time and wise I feel like now more

and time and wise I feel like now more than ever it’s so important for people

than ever it’s so important for people

than ever it’s so important for people with a platform and people with a follow

with a platform and people with a follow

with a platform and people with a follow in to show transparency and to show

in to show transparency and to show

in to show transparency and to show truth and honesty behind the highlight

truth and honesty behind the highlight

truth and honesty behind the highlight reel of Instagram and Twitter and behind

reel of Instagram and Twitter and behind

reel of Instagram and Twitter and behind all the flashing lights and cameras and

all the flashing lights and cameras and

all the flashing lights and cameras and everyone’s filtered edited images and

everyone’s filtered edited images and

everyone’s filtered edited images and stuff for someone that has got people

stuff for someone that has got people

stuff for someone that has got people that look up to them to be honest about

that look up to them to be honest about

that look up to them to be honest about their experiences in hope that maybe

their experiences in hope that maybe

their experiences in hope that maybe someone in this audience or someone

someone in this audience or someone

someone in this audience or someone that’s watching at home online hello

that’s watching at home online hello

that’s watching at home online hello might relate to something I say or might

might relate to something I say or might

might relate to something I say or might be going through something that I’ve

be going through something that I’ve

be going through something that I’ve been through before and it could help

been through before and it could help

been through before and it could help them come out the other way or just give

them come out the other way or just give

them come out the other way or just give them some kind of hope so I’m gonna talk

them some kind of hope so I’m gonna talk

them some kind of hope so I’m gonna talk about myself and my life starting all

about myself and my life starting all

about myself and my life starting all the way back from where I was born in

the way back from where I was born in

the way back from where I was born in Bristol

Bristol

Bristol I grew up which is like a small safe

I grew up which is like a small safe

I grew up which is like a small safe outside of London and Bristol is an

outside of London and Bristol is an

outside of London and Bristol is an amazing place I don’t know if anyone’s

amazing place I don’t know if anyone’s

amazing place I don’t know if anyone’s been there before but growing up there

been there before but growing up there

been there before but growing up there like people are really happy I always

like people are really happy I always

like people are really happy I always felt safe like it was just it was

felt safe like it was just it was

felt safe like it was just it was beautiful it was absolutely lovely

beautiful it was absolutely lovely

beautiful it was absolutely lovely my mum’s Swedish and Scottish actually

my mum’s Swedish and Scottish actually

my mum’s Swedish and Scottish actually and my dad’s from Somalia but they’re

and my dad’s from Somalia but they’re

and my dad’s from Somalia but they’re both British so I grew up with them in a

both British so I grew up with them in a

both British so I grew up with them in a nice little house from very little house

nice little house from very little house

nice little house from very little house in st. Paul’s in Bristol and when I was

in st. Paul’s in Bristol and when I was

in st. Paul’s in Bristol and when I was about three my dad went to jail which at

about three my dad went to jail which at

about three my dad went to jail which at the time I suppose I was three years old

the time I suppose I was three years old

the time I suppose I was three years old so I didn’t really know what was going

so I didn’t really know what was going

so I didn’t really know what was going on

on

on around that stage of him first going to

around that stage of him first going to

around that stage of him first going to gel it all felt kind of normal so I grew

gel it all felt kind of normal so I grew

gel it all felt kind of normal so I grew up with my younger brother who’s 19 our

up with my younger brother who’s 19 our

up with my younger brother who’s 19 our two years below me and my most I so my

two years below me and my most I so my

two years below me and my most I so my strongest memories of around that time

strongest memories of around that time

strongest memories of around that time of the initial experience of going to

of the initial experience of going to

of the initial experience of going to visit him in jail and we’d get into the

visit him in jail and we’d get into the

visit him in jail and we’d get into the car and we’d have like I do they and you

car and we’d have like I do they and you

car and we’d have like I do they and you get little sweets and it always felt

get little sweets and it always felt

get little sweets and it always felt like a little road trip it was never

like a little road trip it was never

like a little road trip it was never like this is a very big place but

like this is a very big place but

like this is a very big place but thinking back on it now like you’d go as

thinking back on it now like you’d go as

thinking back on it now like you’d go as a tiny little child you’d fall asleep in

a tiny little child you’d fall asleep in

a tiny little child you’d fall asleep in the car and end up outside this huge

the car and end up outside this huge

the car and end up outside this huge gray building and get searched by dogs

gray building and get searched by dogs

gray building and get searched by dogs and then have to sit across the table

and then have to sit across the table

and then have to sit across the table and have the conversation with a man

and have the conversation with a man

and have the conversation with a man that you were slowly not really

that you were slowly not really

that you were slowly not really recognizing or not really showing much

recognizing or not really showing much

recognizing or not really showing much interest to because he was always there

interest to because he was always there

interest to because he was always there and I was always at home and I was

and I was always at home and I was

and I was always at home and I was having this life with my mum and my

having this life with my mum and my

having this life with my mum and my aunties and my Nana and granddad on his

aunties and my Nana and granddad on his

aunties and my Nana and granddad on his side and my family were always so

side and my family were always so

side and my family were always so supportive and did everything that I

supportive and did everything that I

supportive and did everything that I suppose the dad would do that I didn’t

suppose the dad would do that I didn’t

suppose the dad would do that I didn’t ever feel like I was missing out on

ever feel like I was missing out on

ever feel like I was missing out on anything so when I go to nursery or when

anything so when I go to nursery or when

anything so when I go to nursery or when I go to primary school and everybody

I go to primary school and everybody

I go to primary school and everybody would be talking I never felt like I was

would be talking I never felt like I was

would be talking I never felt like I was missing out on anything and my life

missing out on anything and my life

missing out on anything and my life seemed perfect apart from these weird

seemed perfect apart from these weird

seemed perfect apart from these weird little trips that we’d have to keep on

little trips that we’d have to keep on

little trips that we’d have to keep on doing to prisons in Wales and I don’t

doing to prisons in Wales and I don’t

doing to prisons in Wales and I don’t know across the other side of the sea so

know across the other side of the sea so

know across the other side of the sea so that went on I kind of continued to

that went on I kind of continued to

that went on I kind of continued to visit him and have this distant

visit him and have this distant

visit him and have this distant relationship with my dad and it wasn’t

relationship with my dad and it wasn’t

relationship with my dad and it wasn’t like one long sentence that he got it

like one long sentence that he got it

like one long sentence that he got it was always like maybe like a year or two

was always like maybe like a year or two

was always like maybe like a year or two and then come out and go back in and

and then come out and go back in and

and then come out and go back in and then by the age of 10 I think around ten

then by the age of 10 I think around ten

then by the age of 10 I think around ten it kind of got a bit exhausting and I

it kind of got a bit exhausting and I

it kind of got a bit exhausting and I remember thinking I’m starting to go to

remember thinking I’m starting to go to

remember thinking I’m starting to go to my friend’s house is now and I’m saying

my friend’s house is now and I’m saying

my friend’s house is now and I’m saying their family’s out and they’ve got these

their family’s out and they’ve got these

their family’s out and they’ve got these amazing relationships with their dads

amazing relationships with their dads

amazing relationships with their dads and their dad’s always there and takes

and their dad’s always there and takes

and their dad’s always there and takes them out two trips and I was like well I

them out two trips and I was like well I

them out two trips and I was like well I don’t do that and yeah I have amazing

don’t do that and yeah I have amazing

don’t do that and yeah I have amazing aunties and Nana granddad that do stuff

aunties and Nana granddad that do stuff

aunties and Nana granddad that do stuff but that’s not really fair like you

but that’s not really fair like you

but that’s not really fair like you should probably be making a bit more

should probably be making a bit more

should probably be making a bit more effort to stop doing bad things and I

effort to stop doing bad things and I

effort to stop doing bad things and I was at the age where I realized like

was at the age where I realized like

was at the age where I realized like it’s a choice it’s not something that

it’s a choice it’s not something that

it’s a choice it’s not something that you’re forced to do you don’t have to be

you’re forced to do you don’t have to be

you’re forced to do you don’t have to be in jail basically so I decided stop

in jail basically so I decided stop

in jail basically so I decided stop visiting here

visiting here

visiting here at 10:00 around 10:00 11:00 and I

at 10:00 around 10:00 11:00 and I

at 10:00 around 10:00 11:00 and I remember one day he’d come home not home

remember one day he’d come home not home

remember one day he’d come home not home but he’d come to my Nana granddad’s

but he’d come to my Nana granddad’s

but he’d come to my Nana granddad’s house where I was at the time and he

house where I was at the time and he

house where I was at the time and he asked to speak to me and I was just like

asked to speak to me and I was just like

asked to speak to me and I was just like no I don’t want to speak to you anymore

no I don’t want to speak to you anymore

no I don’t want to speak to you anymore and I’d also kind of realized like that

and I’d also kind of realized like that

and I’d also kind of realized like that he wasn’t so good to my mom and just all

he wasn’t so good to my mom and just all

he wasn’t so good to my mom and just all of these things kind of started to make

of these things kind of started to make

of these things kind of started to make sense to me at that age and I just

sense to me at that age and I just

sense to me at that age and I just completely cut off contact with him

completely cut off contact with him

completely cut off contact with him my little brother decided to still see

my little brother decided to still see

my little brother decided to still see him but I was just kind of over it so

him but I was just kind of over it so

him but I was just kind of over it so went past primary school into secondary

went past primary school into secondary

went past primary school into secondary school now and this is where I kind of

school now and this is where I kind of

school now and this is where I kind of start talking about my career and I’ve

start talking about my career and I’ve

start talking about my career and I’ve always been like a loud like show or fie

always been like a loud like show or fie

always been like a loud like show or fie performing artsy person where I go

performing artsy person where I go

performing artsy person where I go downstairs and perform the no doubt

downstairs and perform the no doubt

downstairs and perform the no doubt album with dance routines and acting

album with dance routines and acting

album with dance routines and acting segments to Menomonie stepdad like come

segments to Menomonie stepdad like come

segments to Menomonie stepdad like come on watch me and like make all the family

on watch me and like make all the family

on watch me and like make all the family relatives sit down and watch my serious

relatives sit down and watch my serious

relatives sit down and watch my serious performance of like I don’t know Bob the

performance of like I don’t know Bob the

performance of like I don’t know Bob the Builder

Builder

Builder so I did all of that stuff started

so I did all of that stuff started

so I did all of that stuff started secondary school and was like yeah like

secondary school and was like yeah like

secondary school and was like yeah like loved it made amazing friends had an

loved it made amazing friends had an

loved it made amazing friends had an amazing childhood basically an early

amazing childhood basically an early

amazing childhood basically an early teens everything was perfect enjoyed it

teens everything was perfect enjoyed it

teens everything was perfect enjoyed it and I remember having conversations with

and I remember having conversations with

and I remember having conversations with like family members and stuff in like

like family members and stuff in like

like family members and stuff in like year seven and eight and they’d be like

year seven and eight and they’d be like

year seven and eight and they’d be like what you want to be when you’re older

what you want to be when you’re older

what you want to be when you’re older what you want to do and I’d always be

what you want to do and I’d always be

what you want to do and I’d always be like I’m not really sure how I’m gonna

like I’m not really sure how I’m gonna

like I’m not really sure how I’m gonna get there but like I’m definitely gonna

get there but like I’m definitely gonna

get there but like I’m definitely gonna be on TV or I’m gonna be someone that’s

be on TV or I’m gonna be someone that’s

be on TV or I’m gonna be someone that’s in the adverts or on the screen and like

in the adverts or on the screen and like

in the adverts or on the screen and like part of me really really believes that I

part of me really really believes that I

part of me really really believes that I would and I’m not sure where it came

would and I’m not sure where it came

would and I’m not sure where it came from but it was kind of like an inner

from but it was kind of like an inner

from but it was kind of like an inner thing of like what I’m gonna do that

thing of like what I’m gonna do that

thing of like what I’m gonna do that because there’s nothing else I want to

because there’s nothing else I want to

because there’s nothing else I want to do I’ve never even allowed any other

do I’ve never even allowed any other

do I’ve never even allowed any other career option to enter my mind it’s just

career option to enter my mind it’s just

career option to enter my mind it’s just been like yep he’s gonna be this person

been like yep he’s gonna be this person

been like yep he’s gonna be this person and that’s gonna happen and thinking

and that’s gonna happen and thinking

and that’s gonna happen and thinking back on it now it’s like I’m not really

back on it now it’s like I’m not really

back on it now it’s like I’m not really sure if that’s like a naivety or just

sure if that’s like a naivety or just

sure if that’s like a naivety or just like in my own little glorious bubble of

like in my own little glorious bubble of

like in my own little glorious bubble of like dream but it was real enough to me

like dream but it was real enough to me

like dream but it was real enough to me at the time and yeah obviously worked

at the time and yeah obviously worked

at the time and yeah obviously worked out in the end but yes I always had this

out in the end but yes I always had this

out in the end but yes I always had this idea went through school and got to year

idea went through school and got to year

idea went through school and got to year 10 does anyone remember skins the show

10 does anyone remember skins the show

10 does anyone remember skins the show yeah that skins so that was shot in

yeah that skins so that was shot in

yeah that skins so that was shot in Bristol and they would go around the

Bristol and they would go around the

Bristol and they would go around the school was to cast for four skins so I

school was to cast for four skins so I

school was to cast for four skins so I was 15 and they came to our school when

was 15 and they came to our school when

was 15 and they came to our school when I was like right this is my chance I’m

I was like right this is my chance I’m

I was like right this is my chance I’m gonna go in there and well

gonna go in there and well

gonna go in there and well everyone like this really excited little

everyone like this really excited little

everyone like this really excited little girl and they came in and I did that I

girl and they came in and I did that I

girl and they came in and I did that I don’t even really remember my

don’t even really remember my

don’t even really remember my performance but I know I was so excited

performance but I know I was so excited

performance but I know I was so excited and literally like in the hallway to my

and literally like in the hallway to my

and literally like in the hallway to my friends like yeah so did that ended up

friends like yeah so did that ended up

friends like yeah so did that ended up getting to the last round of like I

getting to the last round of like I

getting to the last round of like I don’t even know how many hundreds of

don’t even know how many hundreds of

don’t even know how many hundreds of kids they’d seen to be one of the main

kids they’d seen to be one of the main

kids they’d seen to be one of the main characters and then got to the last

characters and then got to the last

characters and then got to the last audition did it left thinking yeah this

audition did it left thinking yeah this

audition did it left thinking yeah this is it like I’ve got it and actually sat

is it like I’ve got it and actually sat

is it like I’ve got it and actually sat in my kitchen once I remember like

in my kitchen once I remember like

in my kitchen once I remember like having this conversation my mom and

having this conversation my mom and

having this conversation my mom and being like what am I gonna do I’m gonna

being like what am I gonna do I’m gonna

being like what am I gonna do I’m gonna be famous like how am I gonna sell my

be famous like how am I gonna sell my

be famous like how am I gonna sell my friends like it’s so convinced that this

friends like it’s so convinced that this

friends like it’s so convinced that this was going to be it that like no one

was going to be it that like no one

was going to be it that like no one could tell me any difference and I kind

could tell me any difference and I kind

could tell me any difference and I kind of missed that confidence so I had been

of missed that confidence so I had been

of missed that confidence so I had been because I suppose as you get older

because I suppose as you get older

because I suppose as you get older reality and everything else and it

reality and everything else and it

reality and everything else and it doesn’t seem so real but yeah super

doesn’t seem so real but yeah super

doesn’t seem so real but yeah super super confidence and then I didn’t get

super confidence and then I didn’t get

super confidence and then I didn’t get it and I was like oh right well now and

it and I was like oh right well now and

it and I was like oh right well now and half of it made me feel like I don’t

half of it made me feel like I don’t

half of it made me feel like I don’t want to do anymore like I don’t want to

want to do anymore like I don’t want to

want to do anymore like I don’t want to act I don’t want to put myself out there

act I don’t want to put myself out there

act I don’t want to put myself out there and get so convinced and telling my

and get so convinced and telling my

and get so convinced and telling my friends I’m gonna be like the next I

friends I’m gonna be like the next I

friends I’m gonna be like the next I don’t know Jennifer Lawrence but and

don’t know Jennifer Lawrence but and

don’t know Jennifer Lawrence but and then not have it but the other half of

then not have it but the other half of

then not have it but the other half of me was like well no out of all of these

me was like well no out of all of these

me was like well no out of all of these hundreds of kids

hundreds of kids

hundreds of kids I’m obviously good enough to get to that

I’m obviously good enough to get to that

I’m obviously good enough to get to that stage so why not carry on and keep

stage so why not carry on and keep

stage so why not carry on and keep pushing forward and going for more

pushing forward and going for more

pushing forward and going for more auditions so that’s someone and went in

auditions so that’s someone and went in

auditions so that’s someone and went in joins an acting class and applied for

joins an acting class and applied for

joins an acting class and applied for these auditions and went out and just

these auditions and went out and just

these auditions and went out and just did as much as I could because I still

did as much as I could because I still

did as much as I could because I still had this like huge hunger inside of me

had this like huge hunger inside of me

had this like huge hunger inside of me and then got to year 11 and continued

and then got to year 11 and continued

and then got to year 11 and continued were there and was like yep this is what

were there and was like yep this is what

were there and was like yep this is what I want to do we were choosing our levels

I want to do we were choosing our levels

I want to do we were choosing our levels and everything after that so I went on

and everything after that so I went on

and everything after that so I went on to sixth form in cotton cotton school in

to sixth form in cotton cotton school in

to sixth form in cotton cotton school in Bristol and I chose what I did sociology

Bristol and I chose what I did sociology

Bristol and I chose what I did sociology performing arts BT media and English Lit

performing arts BT media and English Lit

performing arts BT media and English Lit and so I member starting those but even

and so I member starting those but even

and so I member starting those but even in my mind the whole time I was always

in my mind the whole time I was always

in my mind the whole time I was always thinking like okay yeah these are just

thinking like okay yeah these are just

thinking like okay yeah these are just my what I’m supposed to do like this is

my what I’m supposed to do like this is

my what I’m supposed to do like this is just the next step that you’re supposed

just the next step that you’re supposed

just the next step that you’re supposed to take after school because that’s what

to take after school because that’s what

to take after school because that’s what everyone does and it’s proper but don’t

everyone does and it’s proper but don’t

everyone does and it’s proper but don’t lose sight of your amazing little dream

lose sight of your amazing little dream

lose sight of your amazing little dream of being you know Selena Gomez without

of being you know Selena Gomez without

of being you know Selena Gomez without the singing voice so yeah have that and

the singing voice so yeah have that and

the singing voice so yeah have that and then that there was some there was like

then that there was some there was like

then that there was some there was like a holiday in

a holiday in

a holiday in that period of time hang on me let me

that period of time hang on me let me

that period of time hang on me let me have what because my mouth dry I knew

have what because my mouth dry I knew

have what because my mouth dry I knew that would happen to me out of everyone

that would happen to me out of everyone

that would happen to me out of everyone I’m the one that gets dry for halfway

I’m the one that gets dry for halfway

I’m the one that gets dry for halfway through but yeah so there was a holiday

through but yeah so there was a holiday

through but yeah so there was a holiday in between like a school holiday and I

in between like a school holiday and I

in between like a school holiday and I remember going up to London because I

remember going up to London because I

remember going up to London because I had a family member that lived there and

had a family member that lived there and

had a family member that lived there and I just I had a couple of auditions in

I just I had a couple of auditions in

I just I had a couple of auditions in London and I felt like I don’t know

London and I felt like I don’t know

London and I felt like I don’t know anyone coming from a smaller safe always

anyone coming from a smaller safe always

anyone coming from a smaller safe always assumes that like London is the place

assumes that like London is the place

assumes that like London is the place you need to be like that so everything

you need to be like that so everything

you need to be like that so everything happens and if you want to be a star you

happens and if you want to be a star you

happens and if you want to be a star you go to London which is the case for some

go to London which is the case for some

go to London which is the case for some people but some people can do it and in

people but some people can do it and in

people but some people can do it and in their hometown so yeah I went to London

their hometown so yeah I went to London

their hometown so yeah I went to London and I spent some time there and I met

and I spent some time there and I met

and I spent some time there and I met some people and I thought I’m nearly

some people and I thought I’m nearly

some people and I thought I’m nearly finished in my first year of six film

finished in my first year of six film

finished in my first year of six film why don’t I apply for colleges in London

why don’t I apply for colleges in London

why don’t I apply for colleges in London and even though everything in my life

and even though everything in my life

and even though everything in my life was perfect in Bristow I had like great

was perfect in Bristow I had like great

was perfect in Bristow I had like great friends great family everything’s very

friends great family everything’s very

friends great family everything’s very exciting because you just left school

exciting because you just left school

exciting because you just left school when everyone go out and we’ll I just

when everyone go out and we’ll I just

when everyone go out and we’ll I just thought London’s the place where you

thought London’s the place where you

thought London’s the place where you where you kind of need to be if you want

where you kind of need to be if you want

where you kind of need to be if you want to do my job and I still had that con

to do my job and I still had that con

to do my job and I still had that con line you can do it can be found in my

line you can do it can be found in my

line you can do it can be found in my mind so I applied for like five colleges

mind so I applied for like five colleges

mind so I applied for like five colleges and came back to Bristol I don’t think I

and came back to Bristol I don’t think I

and came back to Bristol I don’t think I even told anyone at the time that I’d

even told anyone at the time that I’d

even told anyone at the time that I’d applied for that money because I didn’t

applied for that money because I didn’t

applied for that money because I didn’t want to do the disappointment of not

want to do the disappointment of not

want to do the disappointment of not actually getting in but I applied for

actually getting in but I applied for

actually getting in but I applied for them anyway

them anyway

them anyway came back to Bristol told everyone okay

came back to Bristol told everyone okay

came back to Bristol told everyone okay now I might go there it’s the waiting

now I might go there it’s the waiting

now I might go there it’s the waiting process we had a summer holiday no sorry

process we had a summer holiday no sorry

process we had a summer holiday no sorry it was before summer holidays another

it was before summer holidays another

it was before summer holidays another gap where I went up to London again and

gap where I went up to London again and

gap where I went up to London again and I’m a boy and he was he became a

I’m a boy and he was he became a

I’m a boy and he was he became a boyfriend and then I was completely

boyfriend and then I was completely

boyfriend and then I was completely infatuated 16 years old your first love

infatuated 16 years old your first love

infatuated 16 years old your first love and you’re in this like whole dream

and you’re in this like whole dream

and you’re in this like whole dream world and I was thinking like wow this

world and I was thinking like wow this

world and I was thinking like wow this is perfect like if I move to London I’m

is perfect like if I move to London I’m

is perfect like if I move to London I’m gonna get into these colleges I’ll have

gonna get into these colleges I’ll have

gonna get into these colleges I’ll have my boyfriend there I’ve got friends that

my boyfriend there I’ve got friends that

my boyfriend there I’ve got friends that I’ve made and everything’s just gonna be

I’ve made and everything’s just gonna be

I’ve made and everything’s just gonna be like an absolute dream and in my mind

like an absolute dream and in my mind

like an absolute dream and in my mind and then that summer holiday after so I

and then that summer holiday after so I

and then that summer holiday after so I finished my first year of six for now

finished my first year of six for now

finished my first year of six for now and it’s the holidays before I decide if

and it’s the holidays before I decide if

and it’s the holidays before I decide if I’m going to go to college in London or

I’m going to go to college in London or

I’m going to go to college in London or stay in Bristol but to be fair I hadn’t

stay in Bristol but to be fair I hadn’t

stay in Bristol but to be fair I hadn’t really reapplied in Bristol so London

really reapplied in Bristol so London

really reapplied in Bristol so London was my only option

was my only option

was my only option I hadn’t really got that push in my mind

I hadn’t really got that push in my mind

I hadn’t really got that push in my mind and and it was July and it was halfway

and and it was July and it was halfway

and and it was July and it was halfway through the holidays and I’m kind of

through the holidays and I’m kind of

through the holidays and I’m kind of puff in London

puff in London

puff in London in Bristol and then my boyfriend at the

in Bristol and then my boyfriend at the

in Bristol and then my boyfriend at the time was killed and so has a 16 year old

time was killed and so has a 16 year old

time was killed and so has a 16 year old girl that has all of this like dreams

girl that has all of this like dreams

girl that has all of this like dreams and everything’s perfect in her mind it

and everything’s perfect in her mind it

and everything’s perfect in her mind it was kind of like Oh like that’s not

was kind of like Oh like that’s not

was kind of like Oh like that’s not supposed to happen like what what do I

supposed to happen like what what do I

supposed to happen like what what do I do now and I’d still remember the exact

do now and I’d still remember the exact

do now and I’d still remember the exact feeling because it wasn’t an illness or

feeling because it wasn’t an illness or

feeling because it wasn’t an illness or anything like that was a complete

anything like that was a complete

anything like that was a complete accident like nothing to do with him and

accident like nothing to do with him and

accident like nothing to do with him and just having so many questions at the

just having so many questions at the

just having so many questions at the time and also feeling like for the first

time and also feeling like for the first

time and also feeling like for the first time that life’s not really fair and

time that life’s not really fair and

time that life’s not really fair and like bad stuff does happen to good

like bad stuff does happen to good

like bad stuff does happen to good people which in my mind I couldn’t

people which in my mind I couldn’t

people which in my mind I couldn’t really fav on that before and it’s like

really fav on that before and it’s like

really fav on that before and it’s like this the worst reality check in in the

this the worst reality check in in the

this the worst reality check in in the world so how do these ideas of what

world so how do these ideas of what

world so how do these ideas of what London was going to be like and I had

London was going to be like and I had

London was going to be like and I had all these plans and then that kind of

all these plans and then that kind of

all these plans and then that kind of just got broken and my happy bubble

just got broken and my happy bubble

just got broken and my happy bubble completely fell down beneath me and I

completely fell down beneath me and I

completely fell down beneath me and I remember feeling like like I don’t know

remember feeling like like I don’t know

remember feeling like like I don’t know what to do and I pushed away everyone

what to do and I pushed away everyone

what to do and I pushed away everyone that was close to me and Bristol like my

that was close to me and Bristol like my

that was close to me and Bristol like my mum and my friends and everyone that

mum and my friends and everyone that

mum and my friends and everyone that really cared for me because I didn’t

really cared for me because I didn’t

really cared for me because I didn’t feel like I wanted to be around anyone

feel like I wanted to be around anyone

feel like I wanted to be around anyone that didn’t understand the pain that I

that didn’t understand the pain that I

that didn’t understand the pain that I was going for at that point but at the

was going for at that point but at the

was going for at that point but at the same time I was so young that my

same time I was so young that my

same time I was so young that my decisions weren’t always gonna be the

decisions weren’t always gonna be the

decisions weren’t always gonna be the best so I didn’t stay in Bristol I

best so I didn’t stay in Bristol I

best so I didn’t stay in Bristol I literally went straight to London the

literally went straight to London the

literally went straight to London the day that it happened and stayed with his

day that it happened and stayed with his

day that it happened and stayed with his family who were amazing and lovely and

family who were amazing and lovely and

family who were amazing and lovely and like looked after me and everything but

like looked after me and everything but

like looked after me and everything but I don’t know if it was the right thing

I don’t know if it was the right thing

I don’t know if it was the right thing to do but at the time I was just like I

to do but at the time I was just like I

to do but at the time I was just like I can’t I just want to be around people

can’t I just want to be around people

can’t I just want to be around people that reminded me of him and around like

that reminded me of him and around like

that reminded me of him and around like familiarity basically so did that at

familiarity basically so did that at

familiarity basically so did that at home everybody’s worried about me like

home everybody’s worried about me like

home everybody’s worried about me like my mom and my friends and everyone I

my mom and my friends and everyone I

my mom and my friends and everyone I kind of don’t want to see or speak to

kind of don’t want to see or speak to

kind of don’t want to see or speak to and I suppose the reason why I’m telling

and I suppose the reason why I’m telling

and I suppose the reason why I’m telling this now is because I don’t really have

this now is because I don’t really have

this now is because I don’t really have anyone to speak to around that time that

anyone to speak to around that time that

anyone to speak to around that time that had gone for anything similar and I

had gone for anything similar and I

had gone for anything similar and I didn’t really know what you were

didn’t really know what you were

didn’t really know what you were supposed to do and all the thoughts and

supposed to do and all the thoughts and

supposed to do and all the thoughts and the feelings that I was feeling were

the feelings that I was feeling were

the feelings that I was feeling were like oh my gosh I’m never gonna be loved

like oh my gosh I’m never gonna be loved

like oh my gosh I’m never gonna be loved again or oh my gosh I don’t even know if

again or oh my gosh I don’t even know if

again or oh my gosh I don’t even know if I can look at a boy again or how how am

I can look at a boy again or how how am

I can look at a boy again or how how am I gonna be and kind of feelin like this

I gonna be and kind of feelin like this

I gonna be and kind of feelin like this is the worst thing in the world that

is the worst thing in the world that

is the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to anyone

could ever happen to anyone

could ever happen to anyone literally that was how I felt and even

literally that was how I felt and even

literally that was how I felt and even at some points like I don’t really want

at some points like I don’t really want

at some points like I don’t really want to be here and if I disappeared then you

to be here and if I disappeared then you

to be here and if I disappeared then you know it would just be like that and

know it would just be like that and

know it would just be like that and that’s what happens in life and just

that’s what happens in life and just

that’s what happens in life and just really dark horrible thoughts for a

really dark horrible thoughts for a

really dark horrible thoughts for a sixteen-year-old to have but I didn’t

sixteen-year-old to have but I didn’t

sixteen-year-old to have but I didn’t allow anything else coming to come into

allow anything else coming to come into

allow anything else coming to come into my mind at that point

my mind at that point

my mind at that point luckily and I believed in God and I

luckily and I believed in God and I

luckily and I believed in God and I prayed for a lot of it and would kind of

prayed for a lot of it and would kind of

prayed for a lot of it and would kind of like have my own thoughts and pray every

like have my own thoughts and pray every

like have my own thoughts and pray every day and be like okay there’s something

day and be like okay there’s something

day and be like okay there’s something there’s it’s gonna pass like I believe

there’s it’s gonna pass like I believe

there’s it’s gonna pass like I believe in like no pain no matter how severe

in like no pain no matter how severe

in like no pain no matter how severe lasting forever like you could be going

lasting forever like you could be going

lasting forever like you could be going through the worst thing now but in a

through the worst thing now but in a

through the worst thing now but in a week or in a year or in lumps it’s never

week or in a year or in lumps it’s never

week or in a year or in lumps it’s never gonna be the exact same pain it’s always

gonna be the exact same pain it’s always

gonna be the exact same pain it’s always gonna like fade down a bit so anyway I

gonna like fade down a bit so anyway I

gonna like fade down a bit so anyway I had those thoughts in my mind this

had those thoughts in my mind this

had those thoughts in my mind this happened in July and I’m supposed to be

happened in July and I’m supposed to be

happened in July and I’m supposed to be starting college in September so the

starting college in September so the

starting college in September so the whole time I’m I’m grieving and I’m

whole time I’m I’m grieving and I’m

whole time I’m I’m grieving and I’m trying to deal with things in my own

trying to deal with things in my own

trying to deal with things in my own mind and I’m in this like horrible space

mind and I’m in this like horrible space

mind and I’m in this like horrible space but I’m knowing that in September I’m

but I’m knowing that in September I’m

but I’m knowing that in September I’m about to go to a school where I know

about to go to a school where I know

about to go to a school where I know nobody and I’ve got to be like this

nobody and I’ve got to be like this

nobody and I’ve got to be like this person that I’m used to be in that’s

person that I’m used to be in that’s

person that I’m used to be in that’s happy and like look at me and this is

happy and like look at me and this is

happy and like look at me and this is supposed to be my shot at like chasing

supposed to be my shot at like chasing

supposed to be my shot at like chasing my dream and everything despite this

my dream and everything despite this

my dream and everything despite this dark place I mean at that time so anyway

dark place I mean at that time so anyway

dark place I mean at that time so anyway it comes to September I’m starting to do

it comes to September I’m starting to do

it comes to September I’m starting to do a bit a bit better

a bit a bit better

a bit a bit better but obviously still in a bad place and

but obviously still in a bad place and

but obviously still in a bad place and I’ve gone to college and I just remember

I’ve gone to college and I just remember

I’ve gone to college and I just remember the first day coming into college

the first day coming into college

the first day coming into college feeling like this weight off my shoulder

feeling like this weight off my shoulder

feeling like this weight off my shoulder we’re just feeling kind of like light

we’re just feeling kind of like light

we’re just feeling kind of like light because no one there knew me no one had

because no one there knew me no one had

because no one there knew me no one had known what I’ve just been through it was

known what I’ve just been through it was

known what I’ve just been through it was a completely inflamed and it was just

a completely inflamed and it was just

a completely inflamed and it was just like well I can be this person and not

like well I can be this person and not

like well I can be this person and not not feel I don’t know kind of guilty for

not feel I don’t know kind of guilty for

not feel I don’t know kind of guilty for being happy and not feel like I’m not

being happy and not feel like I’m not

being happy and not feel like I’m not allowed to smile because a terrible

allowed to smile because a terrible

allowed to smile because a terrible thing has just happened so went to

thing has just happened so went to

thing has just happened so went to college I’ve moved in with the family

college I’ve moved in with the family

college I’ve moved in with the family member now that lives in London and I’m

member now that lives in London and I’m

member now that lives in London and I’m going to college I’m in this that

going to college I’m in this that

going to college I’m in this that of happiness while I’m there and they

of happiness while I’m there and they

of happiness while I’m there and they come in home and still feeling sad but

come in home and still feeling sad but

come in home and still feeling sad but things are slowly starting to get a

things are slowly starting to get a

things are slowly starting to get a little bit better and a bit easier to

little bit better and a bit easier to

little bit better and a bit easier to deal with and I’m starting to talk about

deal with and I’m starting to talk about

deal with and I’m starting to talk about things more and just like I think what I

things more and just like I think what I

things more and just like I think what I learnt in that period is that if you can

learnt in that period is that if you can

learnt in that period is that if you can kind of find something that takes you

kind of find something that takes you

kind of find something that takes you out of a sadness if you are feeling

out of a sadness if you are feeling

out of a sadness if you are feeling lower you are feeling down if you can

lower you are feeling down if you can

lower you are feeling down if you can find that one thing that makes you

find that one thing that makes you

find that one thing that makes you forget about that pain for even a day or

forget about that pain for even a day or

forget about that pain for even a day or an hour or whatever then do that as much

an hour or whatever then do that as much

an hour or whatever then do that as much as you can so that’s what I did I went

as you can so that’s what I did I went

as you can so that’s what I did I went to college I was out and then I’d come

to college I was out and then I’d come

to college I was out and then I’d come home and throughout a period of time I’m

home and throughout a period of time I’m

home and throughout a period of time I’m still I’m 17 at this point now in

still I’m 17 at this point now in

still I’m 17 at this point now in college and I’ve gone back to stay with

college and I’ve gone back to stay with

college and I’ve gone back to stay with my family member over the break but the

my family member over the break but the

my family member over the break but the family member that I’m living with is

family member that I’m living with is

family member that I’m living with is heavily involved in drugs so I’m living

heavily involved in drugs so I’m living

heavily involved in drugs so I’m living in this quite unsafe environment where

in this quite unsafe environment where

in this quite unsafe environment where there’s drugs being taken around me and

there’s drugs being taken around me and

there’s drugs being taken around me and I’m kind of coming home from college and

I’m kind of coming home from college and

I’m kind of coming home from college and just going straight to my bedroom and

just going straight to my bedroom and

just going straight to my bedroom and shutting the door and ignoring

shutting the door and ignoring

shutting the door and ignoring whatever’s going on outside of me and

whatever’s going on outside of me and

whatever’s going on outside of me and I’ve got like my mom and my other family

I’ve got like my mom and my other family

I’ve got like my mom and my other family members who are saying come home because

members who are saying come home because

members who are saying come home because you don’t need to be around that and

you don’t need to be around that and

you don’t need to be around that and everything but I knew that if I went

everything but I knew that if I went

everything but I knew that if I went back to Bristol I would just kind of

back to Bristol I would just kind of

back to Bristol I would just kind of fall into a trap of something that I

fall into a trap of something that I

fall into a trap of something that I didn’t want to do and being in London

didn’t want to do and being in London

didn’t want to do and being in London make me feel like I’m actually chasing

make me feel like I’m actually chasing

make me feel like I’m actually chasing my dream now and I’ve just started to

my dream now and I’ve just started to

my dream now and I’ve just started to move forward and I’ve just started to

move forward and I’ve just started to

move forward and I’ve just started to meet people that have the same

meet people that have the same

meet people that have the same aspirations of me as me and want to do

aspirations of me as me and want to do

aspirations of me as me and want to do the same things as me so I didn’t go

the same things as me so I didn’t go

the same things as me so I didn’t go back as much as they’d be persuaded me

back as much as they’d be persuaded me

back as much as they’d be persuaded me my mom would come down and say come back

my mom would come down and say come back

my mom would come down and say come back and I didn’t and it’s a good thing I

and I didn’t and it’s a good thing I

and I didn’t and it’s a good thing I didn’t because not long after that I met

didn’t because not long after that I met

didn’t because not long after that I met some people that work for this company

some people that work for this company

some people that work for this company called jump-off which was like this huge

called jump-off which was like this huge

called jump-off which was like this huge event in London which professor green

event in London which professor green

event in London which professor green was actually noticed from it but it’s

was actually noticed from it but it’s

was actually noticed from it but it’s like a battle event so they had like rap

like a battle event so they had like rap

like a battle event so they had like rap battles and dance battles and it was a

battles and dance battles and it was a

battles and dance battles and it was a live event but they also had a an office

live event but they also had a an office

live event but they also had a an office space where they had a YouTube channel

space where they had a YouTube channel

space where they had a YouTube channel and they would let me use the cameras

and they would let me use the cameras

and they would let me use the cameras there and they taught me how to edit and

there and they taught me how to edit and

there and they taught me how to edit and they taught me basically how to be a

they taught me basically how to be a

they taught me basically how to be a presenter like they would I come there

presenter like they would I come there

presenter like they would I come there after college and state or like 10

after college and state or like 10

after college and state or like 10 o’clock at night and just be like eager

o’clock at night and just be like eager

o’clock at night and just be like eager to learn everything like even if I was

to learn everything like even if I was

to learn everything like even if I was making teas or just sitting there

making teas or just sitting there

making teas or just sitting there listening to conversations I was just on

listening to conversations I was just on

listening to conversations I was just on them like teach me teach me and that was

them like teach me teach me and that was

them like teach me teach me and that was where I started feeling like it’s

where I started feeling like it’s

where I started feeling like it’s actually happening even though I wasn’t

actually happening even though I wasn’t

actually happening even though I wasn’t getting paid I wasn’t even doing

getting paid I wasn’t even doing

getting paid I wasn’t even doing anything I was

anything I was

anything I was in a space that I imagined myself being

in a space that I imagined myself being

in a space that I imagined myself being in so I was there I made my first

in so I was there I made my first

in so I was there I made my first youtube video there had just literally

youtube video there had just literally

youtube video there had just literally with them letting me take their camera

with them letting me take their camera

with them letting me take their camera upstairs and like that kind of remember

upstairs and like that kind of remember

upstairs and like that kind of remember I did want to play it but it’ll probably

I did want to play it but it’ll probably

I did want to play it but it’ll probably go on for ages it was just me sat in

go on for ages it was just me sat in

go on for ages it was just me sat in front of the camera like doing a speedy

front of the camera like doing a speedy

front of the camera like doing a speedy makeup tutorials so it was like a joke

makeup tutorials so it was like a joke

makeup tutorials so it was like a joke version of like the makeup tutorials you

version of like the makeup tutorials you

version of like the makeup tutorials you see nowadays but back then no one was

see nowadays but back then no one was

see nowadays but back then no one was really getting paid for YouTube or

really getting paid for YouTube or

really getting paid for YouTube or anything so I was just doing it for fun

anything so I was just doing it for fun

anything so I was just doing it for fun and then I’m gonna kind of rush the

and then I’m gonna kind of rush the

and then I’m gonna kind of rush the story I’ll probably write a book one day

story I’ll probably write a book one day

story I’ll probably write a book one day but yeah I carried on doing this and

but yeah I carried on doing this and

but yeah I carried on doing this and yeah so I got my first job there and I

yeah so I got my first job there and I

yeah so I got my first job there and I was working working at Urban Outfitters

was working working at Urban Outfitters

was working working at Urban Outfitters as well at the same time because I had

as well at the same time because I had

as well at the same time because I had literally no money I used to do this

literally no money I used to do this

literally no money I used to do this trick where I’d pretend I’d lost my

trick where I’d pretend I’d lost my

trick where I’d pretend I’d lost my oyster because I didn’t have money for

oyster because I didn’t have money for

oyster because I didn’t have money for oysters to get on the trains so I’d go

oysters to get on the trains so I’d go

oysters to get on the trains so I’d go through and luckily I’ve just lost my um

through and luckily I’ve just lost my um

through and luckily I’ve just lost my um my oyster card can you let me throw any

my oyster card can you let me throw any

my oyster card can you let me throw any to get to college and they do it and I

to get to college and they do it and I

to get to college and they do it and I did that one literally like every train

did that one literally like every train

did that one literally like every train station around my area until they

station around my area until they

station around my area until they realized like this girl’s having a laugh

realized like this girl’s having a laugh

realized like this girl’s having a laugh so did that work in an urban outfitters

so did that work in an urban outfitters

so did that work in an urban outfitters going to jump up every day and during

going to jump up every day and during

going to jump up every day and during college for like literally about eight

college for like literally about eight

college for like literally about eight months nine months until I decided to

months nine months until I decided to

months nine months until I decided to leave college because jump off was

leave college because jump off was

leave college because jump off was starting to pay me and I felt like this

starting to pay me and I felt like this

starting to pay me and I felt like this is I don’t even know if it was the wrong

is I don’t even know if it was the wrong

is I don’t even know if it was the wrong it was the right thing to do but at that

it was the right thing to do but at that

it was the right thing to do but at that time in my mind I was like I’m I’m

time in my mind I was like I’m I’m

time in my mind I was like I’m I’m basically getting trained in the job

basically getting trained in the job

basically getting trained in the job that I want to do instead of being in

that I want to do instead of being in

that I want to do instead of being in college learning how to be in a job I’m

college learning how to be in a job I’m

college learning how to be in a job I’m doing it firsthand

doing it firsthand

doing it firsthand so left college stayed at jump-off and

so left college stayed at jump-off and

so left college stayed at jump-off and not long after that and got a screen

not long after that and got a screen

not long after that and got a screen test which is like a presenters version

test which is like a presenters version

test which is like a presenters version of an audition for copper 90 so do a

of an audition for copper 90 so do a

of an audition for copper 90 so do a series with them and they’re now the

series with them and they’re now the

series with them and they’re now the biggest football channel in Europe but

biggest football channel in Europe but

biggest football channel in Europe but they needed a co-presenter and I went

they needed a co-presenter and I went

they needed a co-presenter and I went down and I had no experience other than

down and I had no experience other than

down and I had no experience other than what jumpluff had trained me and I got

what jumpluff had trained me and I got

what jumpluff had trained me and I got the job and he did a series with them

the job and he did a series with them

the job and he did a series with them good football virgin you can find it

good football virgin you can find it

good football virgin you can find it online as hilarious but yeah did that

online as hilarious but yeah did that

online as hilarious but yeah did that and from that led on to them taking me

and from that led on to them taking me

and from that led on to them taking me to Brazil for two months and I filmed a

to Brazil for two months and I filmed a

to Brazil for two months and I filmed a show with high end I around the World

show with high end I around the World

show with high end I around the World Cup so it was basically like we did a

Cup so it was basically like we did a

Cup so it was basically like we did a tour of the 12 cities in Brazil and then

tour of the 12 cities in Brazil and then

tour of the 12 cities in Brazil and then I did like a whole show during the World

I did like a whole show during the World

I did like a whole show during the World Cup and everything like that so then

Cup and everything like that so then

Cup and everything like that so then that job came and it was

that job came and it was

that job came and it was like a spiral effect after that of every

like a spiral effect after that of every

like a spiral effect after that of every job every job but I’m still living at my

job every job but I’m still living at my

job every job but I’m still living at my at my family members house which was a

at my family members house which was a

at my family members house which was a horrible environment to be in my food

horrible environment to be in my food

horrible environment to be in my food was getting stolen out the fridge my

was getting stolen out the fridge my

was getting stolen out the fridge my phone was getting stolen and like I just

phone was getting stolen and like I just

phone was getting stolen and like I just it just wasn’t safe I couldn’t afford to

it just wasn’t safe I couldn’t afford to

it just wasn’t safe I couldn’t afford to move out because I hadn’t yeah I hadn’t

move out because I hadn’t yeah I hadn’t

move out because I hadn’t yeah I hadn’t got enough money about that point so

got enough money about that point so

got enough money about that point so I’ve come back from Brazil a camera’s

I’ve come back from Brazil a camera’s

I’ve come back from Brazil a camera’s gone missing from my room I think this

gone missing from my room I think this

gone missing from my room I think this was like the point where I was like okay

was like the point where I was like okay

was like the point where I was like okay I need to leave and I had a friend

I need to leave and I had a friend

I need to leave and I had a friend called penny who literally like scooped

called penny who literally like scooped

called penny who literally like scooped me under her wing and she let me pay her

me under her wing and she let me pay her

me under her wing and she let me pay her cheap rent to stay with her and the

cheap rent to stay with her and the

cheap rent to stay with her and the reason why I mention her is because I

reason why I mention her is because I

reason why I mention her is because I feel like it’s so important when you are

feel like it’s so important when you are

feel like it’s so important when you are going through stuff to have a friend or

going through stuff to have a friend or

going through stuff to have a friend or just somebody around you that completely

just somebody around you that completely

just somebody around you that completely lifts you up and fills you with

lifts you up and fills you with

lifts you up and fills you with positivity and I was still like just

positivity and I was still like just

positivity and I was still like just turned 18 at this point so she was like

turned 18 at this point so she was like

turned 18 at this point so she was like this angel that came into my life and

this angel that came into my life and

this angel that came into my life and whenever I had doubts she was the one

whenever I had doubts she was the one

whenever I had doubts she was the one that lifted me up and whenever I felt

that lifted me up and whenever I felt

that lifted me up and whenever I felt lower she would fill me with all this

lower she would fill me with all this

lower she would fill me with all this positive energy and basically saved my

positive energy and basically saved my

positive energy and basically saved my state of mind around that time when

state of mind around that time when

state of mind around that time when everything had gone well but I’m running

everything had gone well but I’m running

everything had gone well but I’m running out of time so I’m just gonna skip

out of time so I’m just gonna skip

out of time so I’m just gonna skip forward completely to now I’m obviously

forward completely to now I’m obviously

forward completely to now I’m obviously 22 years old I’ve worked for MTV and all

22 years old I’ve worked for MTV and all

22 years old I’ve worked for MTV and all these places I live on my own now I have

these places I live on my own now I have

these places I live on my own now I have a flair and I yeah I feel so lucky that

a flair and I yeah I feel so lucky that

a flair and I yeah I feel so lucky that I didn’t go back home and I didn’t

I didn’t go back home and I didn’t

I didn’t go back home and I didn’t crumble under pressure and I didn’t let

crumble under pressure and I didn’t let

crumble under pressure and I didn’t let the situations that I feel like

the situations that I feel like

the situations that I feel like understandably a lot of other people in

understandably a lot of other people in

understandably a lot of other people in would want to not do anything and want

would want to not do anything and want

would want to not do anything and want to just stay inside and want to just

to just stay inside and want to just

to just stay inside and want to just quit everything they’re doing because

quit everything they’re doing because

quit everything they’re doing because it’s disheartening and it’s it’s a

it’s disheartening and it’s it’s a

it’s disheartening and it’s it’s a strange state of mind to be and but my

strange state of mind to be and but my

strange state of mind to be and but my message for me sharing this story is

message for me sharing this story is

message for me sharing this story is just that as hard as things get as I

just that as hard as things get as I

just that as hard as things get as I said at the beginning

said at the beginning

said at the beginning don’t let that control you always keep

don’t let that control you always keep

don’t let that control you always keep in mind the vision that you had at the

in mind the vision that you had at the

in mind the vision that you had at the beginning regardless of the

beginning regardless of the

beginning regardless of the circumstances regardless of the

circumstances regardless of the

circumstances regardless of the situation’s there’s a quote that I

situation’s there’s a quote that I

situation’s there’s a quote that I always say that’s like everything will

always say that’s like everything will

always say that’s like everything will be okay in the end and if it’s not okay

be okay in the end and if it’s not okay

be okay in the end and if it’s not okay it’s not the end and I really believe

it’s not the end and I really believe

it’s not the end and I really believe that’s true because hello like I am here

that’s true because hello like I am here

that’s true because hello like I am here and I only want to like spread the

and I only want to like spread the

and I only want to like spread the message of positivity through everyone

message of positivity through everyone

message of positivity through everyone and that was one thing that I kept in my

and that was one thing that I kept in my

and that was one thing that I kept in my mind throughout I’d never lost faith I

mind throughout I’d never lost faith I

mind throughout I’d never lost faith I never lost hope that you can achieve

never lost hope that you can achieve

never lost hope that you can achieve your goals even though things are bad

your goals even though things are bad

your goals even though things are bad and even though things aren’t going your

and even though things aren’t going your

and even though things aren’t going your way

way

way and yeah stay true to your heart thank

and yeah stay true to your heart thank

and yeah stay true to your heart thank you

you

you [Applause]

”

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