so my mother is dying and I can’t help her she has Alzheimer’s
and I can’t help her she has Alzheimer’s
and I can’t help her she has Alzheimer’s they call it dementia and what is
they call it dementia and what is
they call it dementia and what is dementia to give you an idea you have a
dementia to give you an idea you have a
dementia to give you an idea you have a room at dusk that’s going dark
room at dusk that’s going dark
room at dusk that’s going dark I knew that after every dusk they’d be
I knew that after every dusk they’d be
I knew that after every dusk they’d be done in the morning but with dementia
done in the morning but with dementia
done in the morning but with dementia there was never a bit light driving no
there was never a bit light driving no
there was never a bit light driving no dawn ever
it’s a lot of pieces are every Sunday
it’s a lot of pieces are every Sunday but for the past three years I don’t go
but for the past three years I don’t go
but for the past three years I don’t go anymore because to visit her it’s like
anymore because to visit her it’s like
anymore because to visit her it’s like to have a new wound in your skin to
to have a new wound in your skin to
to have a new wound in your skin to visit her is to remember and to remember
visit her is to remember and to remember
visit her is to remember and to remember is to compare and to compare to think of
is to compare and to compare to think of
is to compare and to compare to think of what is and what could have been so
what is and what could have been so
what is and what could have been so we’re here this afternoon
we’re here this afternoon
we’re here this afternoon and you’re wondering why he’s telling me
and you’re wondering why he’s telling me
and you’re wondering why he’s telling me about his mother’s sickness a few years
about his mother’s sickness a few years
about his mother’s sickness a few years ago a friend of mine told me a story
ago a friend of mine told me a story
ago a friend of mine told me a story she said her mother woke up in the
she said her mother woke up in the
she said her mother woke up in the morning had her but had her breakfast I
morning had her but had her breakfast I
morning had her but had her breakfast I left the house and she disappeared
left the house and she disappeared
left the house and she disappeared well as if the conversatio flea goes
well as if the conversatio flea goes
well as if the conversatio flea goes open his mouth wide and surrounded her
open his mouth wide and surrounded her
open his mouth wide and surrounded her hole that story hurt me so much
hole that story hurt me so much
hole that story hurt me so much I wrote a four thousand word article
I wrote a four thousand word article
I wrote a four thousand word article about it after my mom was diagnosed with
about it after my mom was diagnosed with
about it after my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s that story came back to me
Alzheimer’s that story came back to me
Alzheimer’s that story came back to me and he came back to me with so much
and he came back to me with so much
and he came back to me with so much force
force
force because when I could just one day open
because when I could just one day open
because when I could just one day open the door
the door
the door walk out to the house go past the gate
walk out to the house go past the gate
walk out to the house go past the gate and disappear because you go out be
and disappear because you go out be
and disappear because you go out be confused disoriented and nobody would
confused disoriented and nobody would
confused disoriented and nobody would know who she is
know who she is
know who she is so what did we do we wrote her name our
so what did we do we wrote her name our
so what did we do we wrote her name our phone numbers and the address I’m
phone numbers and the address I’m
phone numbers and the address I’m putting her bags in her wallet
putting her bags in her wallet
putting her bags in her wallet I don’t nobody plays for her but that
I don’t nobody plays for her but that
I don’t nobody plays for her but that wasn’t what bothered me as her illness
wasn’t what bothered me as her illness
wasn’t what bothered me as her illness progressed I began to remember a story
progressed I began to remember a story
progressed I began to remember a story that had before in Lagos about old women
that had before in Lagos about old women
that had before in Lagos about old women who will be mobbed and killed they will
who will be mobbed and killed they will
who will be mobbed and killed they will say they were flying in the afternoon
say they were flying in the afternoon
say they were flying in the afternoon and the coordinate disappeared and they
and the coordinate disappeared and they
and the coordinate disappeared and they fell on the ground and they’re witches
fell on the ground and they’re witches
fell on the ground and they’re witches there was a leak crawled into a hole and
there was a leak crawled into a hole and
there was a leak crawled into a hole and how did woman into the hole and they’ll
how did woman into the hole and they’ll
how did woman into the hole and they’ll be killed many of us here have read the
be killed many of us here have read the
be killed many of us here have read the students they were good for her which is
students they were good for her which is
students they were good for her which is trying to kidnap children those women
trying to kidnap children those women
trying to kidnap children those women could have been my mother the only
could have been my mother the only
could have been my mother the only difference is that she’s got kids who
difference is that she’s got kids who
difference is that she’s got kids who can take care of her and give us the
can take care of her and give us the
can take care of her and give us the option AIDS
option AIDS
option AIDS so the first breaches this when you live
so the first breaches this when you live
so the first breaches this when you live here and you hear about the witch next
here and you hear about the witch next
here and you hear about the witch next time pause and say maybe she’s not a
time pause and say maybe she’s not a
time pause and say maybe she’s not a witch
witch
witch maybe it’s an older man with dementia
maybe it’s an older man with dementia
maybe it’s an older man with dementia who has been found the wrong place at
who has been found the wrong place at
who has been found the wrong place at the wrong time
the wrong time
the wrong time why do we kill women like this we live
why do we kill women like this we live
why do we kill women like this we live in a country where sometimes life is
in a country where sometimes life is
in a country where sometimes life is very cheap and we’re always looking for
very cheap and we’re always looking for
very cheap and we’re always looking for who is doing us every problem you have
who is doing us every problem you have
who is doing us every problem you have is not because you didn’t work hard but
is not because you didn’t work hard but
is not because you didn’t work hard but because he made a mistake is because
because he made a mistake is because
because he made a mistake is because somebody has told you in your destiny
when your mother has dementia
when your mother has dementia the only prop you have becomes memories
the only prop you have becomes memories
the only prop you have becomes memories as I running because she’s lost her
as I running because she’s lost her
as I running because she’s lost her memory and all you can do is rely on
memory and all you can do is rely on
memory and all you can do is rely on memories of what used to be so my mom
memories of what used to be so my mom
memories of what used to be so my mom was a teacher she was firm she was
was a teacher she was firm she was
was a teacher she was firm she was loving she was kind when I was young I
loving she was kind when I was young I
loving she was kind when I was young I stammered
stammered
stammered I couldn’t stand here and talk to you
I couldn’t stand here and talk to you
I couldn’t stand here and talk to you like this but Trudy loved my mom you
like this but Trudy loved my mom you
like this but Trudy loved my mom you know and prayers overcame it
know and prayers overcame it
know and prayers overcame it today people sit on her knees and writer
today people sit on her knees and writer
today people sit on her knees and writer I became that because my mother bought
I became that because my mother bought
I became that because my mother bought me books she saw I love to read and
me books she saw I love to read and
me books she saw I love to read and bought my books and that love she showed
bought my books and that love she showed
bought my books and that love she showed me made me a writer when I speak about
me made me a writer when I speak about
me made me a writer when I speak about her now as we go behind the past tense
her now as we go behind the past tense
her now as we go behind the past tense which is funny because she gives us down
which is funny because she gives us down
which is funny because she gives us down here in Legos
here in Legos
here in Legos well you know we think that that means
well you know we think that that means
well you know we think that that means that your breath has ceased but that is
that your breath has ceased but that is
that your breath has ceased but that is not just that that starts from when
not just that that starts from when
not just that that starts from when begin to atrophy when you become less
begin to atrophy when you become less
begin to atrophy when you become less than you used to be when you can’t
than you used to be when you can’t
than you used to be when you can’t function at full steam so memories are
function at full steam so memories are
function at full steam so memories are all we have now of what she used to be
all we have now of what she used to be
all we have now of what she used to be how she used to be and I remember my
how she used to be and I remember my
how she used to be and I remember my mother as a young woman you had short
mother as a young woman you had short
mother as a young woman you had short skirts platform shoes afro hair she
skirts platform shoes afro hair she
skirts platform shoes afro hair she liked to drink chilled star a laugh with
liked to drink chilled star a laugh with
liked to drink chilled star a laugh with her friends I’m a dad would sit beside
her friends I’m a dad would sit beside
her friends I’m a dad would sit beside her and drink white horse and smoking
her and drink white horse and smoking
her and drink white horse and smoking cigarettes I remember my mom very neat
cigarettes I remember my mom very neat
cigarettes I remember my mom very neat woman you speak to her to see to you
woman you speak to her to see to you
woman you speak to her to see to you mister man thank you your mouth what is
mister man thank you your mouth what is
mister man thank you your mouth what is smelling cooler on a woman who every
smelling cooler on a woman who every
smelling cooler on a woman who every Saturday morning she would cut her nails
Saturday morning she would cut her nails
Saturday morning she would cut her nails and paint them bright red I used to like
and paint them bright red I used to like
and paint them bright red I used to like to sit beside her and watch her clean
to sit beside her and watch her clean
to sit beside her and watch her clean her nails with nail polish remover
her nails with nail polish remover
her nails with nail polish remover and then I would take the cutting whoa
and then I would take the cutting whoa
and then I would take the cutting whoa I’m pressed against my cheek
I’m pressed against my cheek
I’m pressed against my cheek I like the coldness and the smell of
I like the coldness and the smell of
I like the coldness and the smell of alcohol that hit my nose Oh like
alcohol that hit my nose Oh like
alcohol that hit my nose Oh like memories I have of her as a young woman
memories I have of her as a young woman
memories I have of her as a young woman healthy woman my mom loved music music
healthy woman my mom loved music music
healthy woman my mom loved music music was like the table start to her mood if
was like the table start to her mood if
was like the table start to her mood if she was happy she would play Don
she was happy she would play Don
she was happy she would play Don Williams she pleased the Divis she would
Williams she pleased the Divis she would
Williams she pleased the Divis she would flip on him she would play ABBA
flip on him she would play ABBA
flip on him she would play ABBA when she was sad she would sleep or
when she was sad she would sleep or
when she was sad she would sleep or Molly or retells she didn’t like really
Molly or retells she didn’t like really
Molly or retells she didn’t like really very much these days I’m not sure what I
very much these days I’m not sure what I
very much these days I’m not sure what I should remember what music is or that
should remember what music is or that
should remember what music is or that she thinks is just sound and noise the
she thinks is just sound and noise the
she thinks is just sound and noise the second reason tell about my mom is
second reason tell about my mom is
second reason tell about my mom is because in the past two months there’s
because in the past two months there’s
because in the past two months there’s been a happy Weinstein scandal I’m sure
been a happy Weinstein scandal I’m sure
been a happy Weinstein scandal I’m sure we’ll hear about it this is the big man
we’ll hear about it this is the big man
we’ll hear about it this is the big man who’s falling from grace and his story
who’s falling from grace and his story
who’s falling from grace and his story makes me wonder how does this mom feel
makes me wonder how does this mom feel
makes me wonder how does this mom feel did the child she thought she was
did the child she thought she was
did the child she thought she was bringing up how does his wife feel it
bringing up how does his wife feel it
bringing up how does his wife feel it did the husband she thought she was
did the husband she thought she was
did the husband she thought she was getting married – how do his daughters
getting married – how do his daughters
getting married – how do his daughters feel their father who’s been brought
feel their father who’s been brought
feel their father who’s been brought down from all the nothing and in
down from all the nothing and in
down from all the nothing and in thinking about that man his fall from
thinking about that man his fall from
thinking about that man his fall from grace I’ve come to certain truths the
grace I’ve come to certain truths the
grace I’ve come to certain truths the first truth is that any woman can raise
first truth is that any woman can raise
first truth is that any woman can raise a man the second truth is that it takes
a man the second truth is that it takes
a man the second truth is that it takes a good woman to raise a good man
a good woman to raise a good man
a good woman to raise a good man and that is the bridge I think we are
and that is the bridge I think we are
and that is the bridge I think we are here to cross today as the only man in
here to cross today as the only man in
here to cross today as the only man in the midst of 12 speakers who are all
the midst of 12 speakers who are all
the midst of 12 speakers who are all female I think I have the privilege of
female I think I have the privilege of
female I think I have the privilege of saying this
saying this
saying this my mom did a brief for us as men to be
my mom did a brief for us as men to be
my mom did a brief for us as men to be decent men to be good men to respect
decent men to be good men to respect
decent men to be good men to respect women and I think that all of you here
women and I think that all of you here
women and I think that all of you here in this audience who are women whether
in this audience who are women whether
in this audience who are women whether you have children or not any man that
you have children or not any man that
you have children or not any man that comes in contact with you any boy that
comes in contact with you any boy that
comes in contact with you any boy that come together with you
come together with you
come together with you you have a moral duty to teach him the
you have a moral duty to teach him the
you have a moral duty to teach him the value women to teach him to be decent
value women to teach him to be decent
value women to teach him to be decent I’m not here to induct happy Weinstein
I’m not here to induct happy Weinstein
I’m not here to induct happy Weinstein to sue that he’s guilty or not but I
to sue that he’s guilty or not but I
to sue that he’s guilty or not but I want to say is that the power we have as
want to say is that the power we have as
want to say is that the power we have as men and the power we have as people who
men and the power we have as people who
men and the power we have as people who have made money or who have become
have made money or who have become
have made money or who have become successful should not be used as a
successful should not be used as a
successful should not be used as a weapon to bring women down our fathers
weapon to bring women down our fathers
weapon to bring women down our fathers fathers well you know this Africa in a
fathers well you know this Africa in a
fathers well you know this Africa in a way there for you to bring you up so
way there for you to bring you up so
way there for you to bring you up so it’s left to our mothers and our mothers
it’s left to our mothers and our mothers
it’s left to our mothers and our mothers have to do the hard work to teach us
have to do the hard work to teach us
have to do the hard work to teach us right from wrong to teach us how to beat
right from wrong to teach us how to beat
right from wrong to teach us how to beat this end to teach us how to be good men
this end to teach us how to be good men
this end to teach us how to be good men my mom did that for me I’m sure that’s
my mom did that for me I’m sure that’s
my mom did that for me I’m sure that’s why you pick me to join this women today
uncertain is that even though remember
uncertain is that even though remember me what she sees me now doesn’t know who
me what she sees me now doesn’t know who
me what she sees me now doesn’t know who I am
I am
I am I look at her I know who she is my
I look at her I know who she is my
I look at her I know who she is my mother who taught me to be a descent
mother who taught me to be a descent
mother who taught me to be a descent young man thank you
”
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