so how many of you guys consider yourself a change agent alright alright
yourself a change agent alright alright
yourself a change agent alright alright maybe we’ll get some more hands up
maybe we’ll get some more hands up
maybe we’ll get some more hands up within the next 12 minutes or so I got
within the next 12 minutes or so I got
within the next 12 minutes or so I got my start as a change agent early about
my start as a change agent early about
my start as a change agent early about 26 years ago I woke up the morning of
26 years ago I woke up the morning of
26 years ago I woke up the morning of May 5th to discover that my brother
May 5th to discover that my brother
May 5th to discover that my brother committed suicide I remember waking up
committed suicide I remember waking up
committed suicide I remember waking up that morning to voices in the kitchen
that morning to voices in the kitchen
that morning to voices in the kitchen below me thinking it was too early for
below me thinking it was too early for
below me thinking it was too early for my Nana’s pinochle game to have started
my Nana’s pinochle game to have started
my Nana’s pinochle game to have started she was watching us that weekend because
she was watching us that weekend because
she was watching us that weekend because my parents were away I remember
my parents were away I remember
my parents were away I remember later that day just vivid moments
later that day just vivid moments
later that day just vivid moments heart-wrenching and awful especially as
heart-wrenching and awful especially as
heart-wrenching and awful especially as my parents got home that afternoon
my parents got home that afternoon
my parents got home that afternoon sobbing depleted and defeated why why
sobbing depleted and defeated why why
sobbing depleted and defeated why why would this thing happen what could we
would this thing happen what could we
would this thing happen what could we have done to have stopped it
have done to have stopped it
have done to have stopped it I also remember later that day standing
I also remember later that day standing
I also remember later that day standing alone on the driveway as the Sun was
alone on the driveway as the Sun was
alone on the driveway as the Sun was setting behind the house when the
setting behind the house when the
setting behind the house when the thought really the sentiment came
thought really the sentiment came
thought really the sentiment came through my body that we would probably
through my body that we would probably
through my body that we would probably never know why this thing happened and
never know why this thing happened and
never know why this thing happened and that we would have learning and
that we would have learning and
that we would have learning and transcendence nonetheless now I had just
transcendence nonetheless now I had just
transcendence nonetheless now I had just turned 13 so I’m sure those were not my
turned 13 so I’m sure those were not my
turned 13 so I’m sure those were not my words but the sentiment was still the
words but the sentiment was still the
words but the sentiment was still the same everything happens for their
same everything happens for their
same everything happens for their reasons notice I didn’t say everything
reasons notice I didn’t say everything
reasons notice I didn’t say everything happens for a reason
happens for a reason
happens for a reason once I rented an apartment from a woman
once I rented an apartment from a woman
once I rented an apartment from a woman named Betty in Manhattan it was a great
named Betty in Manhattan it was a great
named Betty in Manhattan it was a great rent-controlled building in Chelsea
rent-controlled building in Chelsea
rent-controlled building in Chelsea third floor apartment Betty had lived in
third floor apartment Betty had lived in
third floor apartment Betty had lived in that apartment for 30 years prior to me
that apartment for 30 years prior to me
that apartment for 30 years prior to me one day Betty went out to New Jersey
one day Betty went out to New Jersey
one day Betty went out to New Jersey with a friend of hers too to see his new
with a friend of hers too to see his new
with a friend of hers too to see his new house that was under construction when
house that was under construction when
house that was under construction when they got to the site they got out of the
they got to the site they got out of the
they got to the site they got out of the car he was distracted on his cell phone
car he was distracted on his cell phone
car he was distracted on his cell phone she went up to the front door walked in
she went up to the front door walked in
she went up to the front door walked in immediately fell to the basement there
immediately fell to the basement there
immediately fell to the basement there was no floor anything can change in an
was no floor anything can change in an
was no floor anything can change in an instant
instant
instant in one instant everything can change
in one instant everything can change
in one instant everything can change often when things happen unexpectedly
often when things happen unexpectedly
often when things happen unexpectedly like a sudden illness or a death people
like a sudden illness or a death people
like a sudden illness or a death people often ruminate on why why me
often ruminate on why why me
often ruminate on why why me why us why now because we’re
why us why now because we’re
why us why now because we’re meaning-making creatures our brains tend
meaning-making creatures our brains tend
meaning-making creatures our brains tend to construct stories to make sense of
to construct stories to make sense of
to construct stories to make sense of all things challenges our thoughts are
all things challenges our thoughts are
all things challenges our thoughts are often incomplete and fraught with many
often incomplete and fraught with many
often incomplete and fraught with many many biases the thing about that why
many biases the thing about that why
many biases the thing about that why question is that it’s futile to try to
question is that it’s futile to try to
question is that it’s futile to try to figure out why anything happens is is
figure out why anything happens is is
figure out why anything happens is is like to try to try to find a particular
like to try to try to find a particular
like to try to try to find a particular pebble in the sand amongst millions even
pebble in the sand amongst millions even
pebble in the sand amongst millions even zillions of specks there are so many
zillions of specks there are so many
zillions of specks there are so many reasons leading to any happening usually
reasons leading to any happening usually
reasons leading to any happening usually many specks linked together that racking
many specks linked together that racking
many specks linked together that racking our brain to figure out the reason can
our brain to figure out the reason can
our brain to figure out the reason can lead to stress depression or worse why
lead to stress depression or worse why
lead to stress depression or worse why did Todd take his life why did Betty
did Todd take his life why did Betty
did Todd take his life why did Betty take that fall the thing about that why
take that fall the thing about that why
take that fall the thing about that why question is that it often leads us to
question is that it often leads us to
question is that it often leads us to the blame and fault game pointing
the blame and fault game pointing
the blame and fault game pointing fingers at ourselves or others as if any
fingers at ourselves or others as if any
fingers at ourselves or others as if any one reason could suffice the truth of
one reason could suffice the truth of
one reason could suffice the truth of the matter is that there are so many
the matter is that there are so many
the matter is that there are so many reasons so many so many variables that
reasons so many so many variables that
reasons so many so many variables that lead to the cascading causes of the
lead to the cascading causes of the
lead to the cascading causes of the cascading causes that lead to the
cascading causes that lead to the
cascading causes that lead to the outcomes in our in our lives
outcomes in our in our lives
outcomes in our in our lives causes can range from the side of the
causes can range from the side of the
causes can range from the side of the bed you woke up on in the morning to
bed you woke up on in the morning to
bed you woke up on in the morning to whether or not you decided to snooze to
whether or not you decided to snooze to
whether or not you decided to snooze to the flap of a butterfly’s wings in
the flap of a butterfly’s wings in
the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil that led to the tornado in Texas
even amongst all of these variables we
even amongst all of these variables we can stand strong and our confidence that
can stand strong and our confidence that
can stand strong and our confidence that we got this and no matter what has
we got this and no matter what has
we got this and no matter what has happened we can moving forward which is
happened we can moving forward which is
happened we can moving forward which is the only way to go spoiler alert we can
the only way to go spoiler alert we can
the only way to go spoiler alert we can and will and are doing better starting
and will and are doing better starting
and will and are doing better starting right now the world is changing at a
right now the world is changing at a
right now the world is changing at a very rapid rate healthcare education
very rapid rate healthcare education
very rapid rate healthcare education undeniably in politics even the weather
undeniably in politics even the weather
undeniably in politics even the weather this thing called global weirding how
this thing called global weirding how
this thing called global weirding how can we help each other remain sane and
can we help each other remain sane and
can we help each other remain sane and stable and kind through the tremendous
stable and kind through the tremendous
stable and kind through the tremendous tumult of uncertainty we face
tumult of uncertainty we face
tumult of uncertainty we face how can we help people learn to struggle
how can we help people learn to struggle
how can we help people learn to struggle well throughout all of the uncertainty
well throughout all of the uncertainty
well throughout all of the uncertainty and change in our world I say first we’d
and change in our world I say first we’d
and change in our world I say first we’d be better off and and best off if we
be better off and and best off if we
be better off and and best off if we just surrender to what is we are always
just surrender to what is we are always
just surrender to what is we are always where we need to be when we’re there our
where we need to be when we’re there our
where we need to be when we’re there our greatest pain can be our greatest
greatest pain can be our greatest
greatest pain can be our greatest teacher and our greatest force for
teacher and our greatest force for
teacher and our greatest force for change then instead of asking why we’d
change then instead of asking why we’d
change then instead of asking why we’d be better off with a different question
be better off with a different question
be better off with a different question a more future-oriented question the
a more future-oriented question the
a more future-oriented question the question is what next this question
question is what next this question
question is what next this question requires that we learn to think like
requires that we learn to think like
requires that we learn to think like Olympic athletes to learn to see and
Olympic athletes to learn to see and
Olympic athletes to learn to see and prospect the vibrant future and then get
prospect the vibrant future and then get
prospect the vibrant future and then get pulled by it
pulled by it
pulled by it this question really enables us as
this question really enables us as
this question really enables us as change agents to step into our most
change agents to step into our most
change agents to step into our most expansive most abundant most
expansive most abundant most
expansive most abundant most aspirational most affirmative kind of
aspirational most affirmative kind of
aspirational most affirmative kind of thinking which is a skill a set of
thinking which is a skill a set of
thinking which is a skill a set of skills really that we can learn
skills really that we can learn
skills really that we can learn especially in this era of uncertainty
especially in this era of uncertainty
especially in this era of uncertainty it’s so easy to catastrophize and worry
it’s so easy to catastrophize and worry
it’s so easy to catastrophize and worry about what if what next worry is such a
about what if what next worry is such a
about what if what next worry is such a misuse of our imaginations when we learn
misuse of our imaginations when we learn
misuse of our imaginations when we learn to think expansively when we learn to
to think expansively when we learn to
to think expansively when we learn to think abundantly this is not an neglect
think abundantly this is not an neglect
think abundantly this is not an neglect or an aside of the problems but instead
or an aside of the problems but instead
or an aside of the problems but instead this kind of thinking really helps us
this kind of thinking really helps us
this kind of thinking really helps us build a psychological capital which
build a psychological capital which
build a psychological capital which research shows helps us learn to
research shows helps us learn to
research shows helps us learn to creatively and cooperatively solve those
creatively and cooperatively solve those
creatively and cooperatively solve those problems even better as catalysts of
problems even better as catalysts of
problems even better as catalysts of change we can learn to think differently
change we can learn to think differently
change we can learn to think differently in fact it’s been said time and time
in fact it’s been said time and time
in fact it’s been said time and time again we can’t solve the world’s
again we can’t solve the world’s
again we can’t solve the world’s problems with the same level of thinking
problems with the same level of thinking
problems with the same level of thinking that created them one way we can do this
that created them one way we can do this
that created them one way we can do this or another way we could do this to to
or another way we could do this to to
or another way we could do this to to learn to think about how we think and to
learn to think about how we think and to
learn to think about how we think and to change our neural networks is to change
change our neural networks is to change
change our neural networks is to change another question so often we’re so good
another question so often we’re so good
another question so often we’re so good at asking what’s wrong what about asking
at asking what’s wrong what about asking
at asking what’s wrong what about asking what’s right when we ask others this
what’s right when we ask others this
what’s right when we ask others this question what’s good we prime for
question what’s good we prime for
question what’s good we prime for spotting and focusing on the winds the
spotting and focusing on the winds the
spotting and focusing on the winds the strengths what’s working doing so how
strengths what’s working doing so how
strengths what’s working doing so how like I said build this psychological
like I said build this psychological
like I said build this psychological capital to solve the problems more
capital to solve the problems more
capital to solve the problems more creatively the thing is things change
creatively the thing is things change
creatively the thing is things change every day we change every second of
every day we change every second of
every day we change every second of every day and when we work together as
every day and when we work together as
every day and when we work together as change agents we can solve our problems
change agents we can solve our problems
change agents we can solve our problems we can we can learn to live in a more
we can we can learn to live in a more
we can we can learn to live in a more abundant future you know I got my start
abundant future you know I got my start
abundant future you know I got my start about 15 years ago as a public school
about 15 years ago as a public school
about 15 years ago as a public school teacher
teacher
teacher and right out of college I saw many kids
and right out of college I saw many kids
and right out of college I saw many kids not feel good about who they were really
not feel good about who they were really
not feel good about who they were really really concerned me it reminded me how I
really concerned me it reminded me how I
really concerned me it reminded me how I felt when I was a student actually but
felt when I was a student actually but
felt when I was a student actually but as a teacher I had a very different
as a teacher I had a very different
as a teacher I had a very different vantage point from the other side of
vantage point from the other side of
vantage point from the other side of that desk when I tapped into some of
that desk when I tapped into some of
that desk when I tapped into some of those kids lives I saw families a little
those kids lives I saw families a little
those kids lives I saw families a little dysfunctional and it was the first time
dysfunctional and it was the first time
dysfunctional and it was the first time in my life as a young 20-something that
in my life as a young 20-something that
in my life as a young 20-something that I looked at my family and I thought oh
I looked at my family and I thought oh
I looked at my family and I thought oh boy we could do better we could do
boy we could do better we could do
boy we could do better we could do better to look out for the well-being of
better to look out for the well-being of
better to look out for the well-being of each other and what would that mean then
each other and what would that mean then
each other and what would that mean then for the world it’s interesting at this
for the world it’s interesting at this
for the world it’s interesting at this inflection point in human history we are
inflection point in human history we are
inflection point in human history we are living in a world that I think are
living in a world that I think are
living in a world that I think are positional leaders not being equipped
positional leaders not being equipped
positional leaders not being equipped with the open heart centered and
with the open heart centered and
with the open heart centered and authentic ways that are called for in
authentic ways that are called for in
authentic ways that are called for in our time and that’s why it’s up to us
our time and that’s why it’s up to us
our time and that’s why it’s up to us the change agents the influencers who I
the change agents the influencers who I
the change agents the influencers who I call the social-emotional leaders the
call the social-emotional leaders the
call the social-emotional leaders the people who are out here to remind us all
people who are out here to remind us all
people who are out here to remind us all that the heart is the engine of change
that the heart is the engine of change
that the heart is the engine of change and when we work together to ask
and when we work together to ask
and when we work together to ask different questions despite whatever the
different questions despite whatever the
different questions despite whatever the circumstances are we can and will and
circumstances are we can and will and
circumstances are we can and will and are moving in the direction of something
are moving in the direction of something
are moving in the direction of something better and different Ben Franklin once
better and different Ben Franklin once
better and different Ben Franklin once said probably not far from here that
said probably not far from here that
said probably not far from here that there are three types of people in the
there are three types of people in the
there are three types of people in the world the moveable the moveable and
world the moveable the moveable and
world the moveable the moveable and people who move it is my belief that if
people who move it is my belief that if
people who move it is my belief that if more of us see ourselves as change
more of us see ourselves as change
more of us see ourselves as change agents more of us move in the world as
agents more of us move in the world as
agents more of us move in the world as social-emotional leaders that’s then
social-emotional leaders that’s then
social-emotional leaders that’s then what will create the movement I thought
what will create the movement I thought
what will create the movement I thought that was an idea worth spreading thank
that was an idea worth spreading thank
that was an idea worth spreading thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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