I’ve been praying for a good man yes I’ve been praying for a man that would
I’ve been praying for a man that would
I’ve been praying for a man that would love me unconditionally with someone
love me unconditionally with someone
love me unconditionally with someone that I could share my life with and what
that I could share my life with and what
that I could share my life with and what I ended up with is an 85 year old
I ended up with is an 85 year old
I ended up with is an 85 year old disabled Korean War veteran with
disabled Korean War veteran with
disabled Korean War veteran with dementia thank you this is not what it
dementia thank you this is not what it
dementia thank you this is not what it was supposed to look like I don’t think
was supposed to look like I don’t think
was supposed to look like I don’t think you understood so please allow me to
you understood so please allow me to
you understood so please allow me to explain
explain
explain I began caring for my father who has
I began caring for my father who has
I began caring for my father who has Alzheimer’s it was a journey and I have
Alzheimer’s it was a journey and I have
Alzheimer’s it was a journey and I have learned that nobody does this alone
learned that nobody does this alone
learned that nobody does this alone growing up in my household I was born
growing up in my household I was born
growing up in my household I was born right here in Lexington Kentucky in the
right here in Lexington Kentucky in the
right here in Lexington Kentucky in the East End projects and in our household I
East End projects and in our household I
East End projects and in our household I had a sister who was mentally challenged
had a sister who was mentally challenged
had a sister who was mentally challenged she’s never been able to speak even to
she’s never been able to speak even to
she’s never been able to speak even to this day but I knew how to talk to her I
this day but I knew how to talk to her I
this day but I knew how to talk to her I knew how to read her emotions through
knew how to read her emotions through
knew how to read her emotions through the way she acts I knew when she was in
the way she acts I knew when she was in
the way she acts I knew when she was in pain I knew when she was hungry I knew
pain I knew when she was hungry I knew
pain I knew when she was hungry I knew when I was getting on her nerves
when I was getting on her nerves
when I was getting on her nerves I had another sister who had breast
I had another sister who had breast
I had another sister who had breast cancer she was a schoolteacher at
cancer she was a schoolteacher at
cancer she was a schoolteacher at winburn junior high where all of us went
winburn junior high where all of us went
winburn junior high where all of us went to junior high school she reiterated to
to junior high school she reiterated to
to junior high school she reiterated to me the importance of an education my
me the importance of an education my
me the importance of an education my brother was in the army and he went to
brother was in the army and he went to
brother was in the army and he went to Desert Storm and when he returned he
Desert Storm and when he returned he
Desert Storm and when he returned he came back with PTSD post-traumatic
came back with PTSD post-traumatic
came back with PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder and then my mother she
stress disorder and then my mother she
stress disorder and then my mother she was also in the military my mom used to
was also in the military my mom used to
was also in the military my mom used to jump out of airplanes when she was in
jump out of airplanes when she was in
jump out of airplanes when she was in the Air Force in the Korean War my
the Air Force in the Korean War my
the Air Force in the Korean War my mother began her dialysis treatments and
mother began her dialysis treatments and
mother began her dialysis treatments and then my dad who was diagnosed with
then my dad who was diagnosed with
then my dad who was diagnosed with dementia
dementia
dementia he too was in the Korean War and now I’m
he too was in the Korean War and now I’m
he too was in the Korean War and now I’m caring for him and I thought how how am
caring for him and I thought how how am
caring for him and I thought how how am I gonna do this alone how am I gonna do
I gonna do this alone how am I gonna do
I gonna do this alone how am I gonna do this all by myself and then I realized
this all by myself and then I realized
this all by myself and then I realized that nobody should have to do this alone
that nobody should have to do this alone
that nobody should have to do this alone I knew I needed help so I would reach
I knew I needed help so I would reach
I knew I needed help so I would reach out to different people I was calling on
out to different people I was calling on
out to different people I was calling on neighbors community activists anybody
neighbors community activists anybody
neighbors community activists anybody that I could find help so I found this
that I could find help so I found this
that I could find help so I found this place called a place for Mom
place called a place for Mom
place called a place for Mom because I was looking for a place for
because I was looking for a place for
because I was looking for a place for dad after my father after my mother died
dad after my father after my mother died
dad after my father after my mother died I had to figure out where I was going to
I had to figure out where I was going to
I had to figure out where I was going to get a place for my dad to live a place
get a place for my dad to live a place
get a place for my dad to live a place for mom helped me find a place for my
for mom helped me find a place for my
for mom helped me find a place for my dad and I realized that there was a
dad and I realized that there was a
dad and I realized that there was a difference between nursing homes senior
difference between nursing homes senior
difference between nursing homes senior living homes retirement homes I learned
living homes retirement homes I learned
living homes retirement homes I learned the difference between skilled nursing
the difference between skilled nursing
the difference between skilled nursing because they charge you for everything I
because they charge you for everything I
because they charge you for everything I figured out oh my goodness how am I
figured out oh my goodness how am I
figured out oh my goodness how am I going to take care of him he had several
going to take care of him he had several
going to take care of him he had several different doctors I had to take him to
different doctors I had to take him to
different doctors I had to take him to our urologist I had to take him to a
our urologist I had to take him to a
our urologist I had to take him to a dentist an ophthalmologist a podiatrist
dentist an ophthalmologist a podiatrist
dentist an ophthalmologist a podiatrist I thought oh my goodness wouldn’t that
I thought oh my goodness wouldn’t that
I thought oh my goodness wouldn’t that be great if I could just get all these
be great if I could just get all these
be great if I could just get all these doctors under one roof and then I
doctors under one roof and then I
doctors under one roof and then I remembered that my father was a veteran
remembered that my father was a veteran
remembered that my father was a veteran so I went to the VA where I met this
so I went to the VA where I met this
so I went to the VA where I met this gentleman in the lobby who was selling
gentleman in the lobby who was selling
gentleman in the lobby who was selling DVDs and CDs out of the inside of his
DVDs and CDs out of the inside of his
DVDs and CDs out of the inside of his jacket pocket mr. Dobbs and mr. Dobbs
jacket pocket mr. Dobbs and mr. Dobbs
jacket pocket mr. Dobbs and mr. Dobbs came over and said to me hate your
came over and said to me hate your
came over and said to me hate your father service-connected and I said what
father service-connected and I said what
father service-connected and I said what a service-connected and he went got this
a service-connected and he went got this
a service-connected and he went got this helpful little book that was for the
helpful little book that was for the
helpful little book that was for the benefits of veterans and survivors and
benefits of veterans and survivors and
benefits of veterans and survivors and the dependents and within this book I
the dependents and within this book I
the dependents and within this book I began to read every page I began to do
began to read every page I began to do
began to read every page I began to do research I’m supposed to be studying for
research I’m supposed to be studying for
research I’m supposed to be studying for a final exam but I got to figure out how
a final exam but I got to figure out how
a final exam but I got to figure out how to take care of my dad so through that
to take care of my dad so through that
to take care of my dad so through that book I got my father service-connected
book I got my father service-connected
book I got my father service-connected getting a veteran service-connected the
getting a veteran service-connected the
getting a veteran service-connected the military adds up each and every one of
military adds up each and every one of
military adds up each and every one of your ailments so your ailments get you
your ailments so your ailments get you
your ailments so your ailments get you closer and closer
closer and closer
closer and closer to the 100% that you need to be for
to the 100% that you need to be for
to the 100% that you need to be for example my father couldn’t see so that’s
example my father couldn’t see so that’s
example my father couldn’t see so that’s 10% for his eyes he couldn’t hear
10% for his eyes he couldn’t hear
10% for his eyes he couldn’t hear that’s another 10% for his hearing then
that’s another 10% for his hearing then
that’s another 10% for his hearing then his knees got bad
his knees got bad
his knees got bad that’s another 10% for his elbows each
that’s another 10% for his elbows each
that’s another 10% for his elbows each and every ailment began to add up and
and every ailment began to add up and
and every ailment began to add up and once a veteran gets 75 percent or better
once a veteran gets 75 percent or better
once a veteran gets 75 percent or better they’re 100% service-connected meaning
they’re 100% service-connected meaning
they’re 100% service-connected meaning that everything is paid for because I
that everything is paid for because I
that everything is paid for because I watched my mother struggle using her
watched my mother struggle using her
watched my mother struggle using her social security and her retirement just
social security and her retirement just
social security and her retirement just to buy her prescriptions she had all of
to buy her prescriptions she had all of
to buy her prescriptions she had all of her meds but now she didn’t have any
her meds but now she didn’t have any
her meds but now she didn’t have any food to eat to take her meds with and I
food to eat to take her meds with and I
food to eat to take her meds with and I thought nobody should have to go through
thought nobody should have to go through
thought nobody should have to go through that not alone we need help
that not alone we need help
that not alone we need help so I began to wonder what can I do to
so I began to wonder what can I do to
so I began to wonder what can I do to help
help
help how can I help give back so when I
how can I help give back so when I
how can I help give back so when I started thinking about the different
started thinking about the different
started thinking about the different people in the community and my brother’s
people in the community and my brother’s
people in the community and my brother’s PTSD and depression and I struggled I
PTSD and depression and I struggled I
PTSD and depression and I struggled I had real struggles my comedy career got
had real struggles my comedy career got
had real struggles my comedy career got put on hold the three-year MFA program
put on hold the three-year MFA program
put on hold the three-year MFA program was now four years because I had to care
was now four years because I had to care
was now four years because I had to care for my dad and any time I had to do a
for my dad and any time I had to do a
for my dad and any time I had to do a paper and I had to do research I chose
paper and I had to do research I chose
paper and I had to do research I chose to do it on Alzheimer’s and dementia and
to do it on Alzheimer’s and dementia and
to do it on Alzheimer’s and dementia and that’s exactly what I did one thing that
that’s exactly what I did one thing that
that’s exactly what I did one thing that I learned in college is that college
I learned in college is that college
I learned in college is that college does not measure your intelligence it
does not measure your intelligence it
does not measure your intelligence it measures your endurance and I knew as
measures your endurance and I knew as
measures your endurance and I knew as long as I hung in there that I’d be all
long as I hung in there that I’d be all
long as I hung in there that I’d be all right but I knew I couldn’t do it alone
right but I knew I couldn’t do it alone
right but I knew I couldn’t do it alone so I called on professors daily I called
so I called on professors daily I called
so I called on professors daily I called on family members just talked to daddy
on family members just talked to daddy
on family members just talked to daddy well I take a walk around the lake I
well I take a walk around the lake I
well I take a walk around the lake I need a break I needed help and my
need a break I needed help and my
need a break I needed help and my friends and my family did that for me
friends and my family did that for me
friends and my family did that for me when I told the people in Hollywood that
when I told the people in Hollywood that
when I told the people in Hollywood that I’m leaving all the glitz and glamour to
I’m leaving all the glitz and glamour to
I’m leaving all the glitz and glamour to go back to Kentucky they say what is
go back to Kentucky they say what is
go back to Kentucky they say what is wrong with you I’m not afraid to be
wrong with you I’m not afraid to be
wrong with you I’m not afraid to be vulnerable all these life lessons that I
vulnerable all these life lessons that I
vulnerable all these life lessons that I have learned my father was teaching me
have learned my father was teaching me
have learned my father was teaching me my mother was teaching
my mother was teaching
my mother was teaching me my sister was showing me how to be
me my sister was showing me how to be
me my sister was showing me how to be able to communicate with people even
able to communicate with people even
able to communicate with people even though they weren’t able to speak for
though they weren’t able to speak for
though they weren’t able to speak for themselves my father was always teaching
themselves my father was always teaching
themselves my father was always teaching lessons and I didn’t know it I remember
lessons and I didn’t know it I remember
lessons and I didn’t know it I remember one time I cooked a hot dog that my
one time I cooked a hot dog that my
one time I cooked a hot dog that my daddy came in he said it sure does smell
daddy came in he said it sure does smell
daddy came in he said it sure does smell good in there would you fix I said I
good in there would you fix I said I
good in there would you fix I said I made a hot dog daddy he said you made
made a hot dog daddy he said you made
made a hot dog daddy he said you made one hot dog yeah he’s a how many people
one hot dog yeah he’s a how many people
one hot dog yeah he’s a how many people in this house father how many hot dogs
in this house father how many hot dogs
in this house father how many hot dogs come in the pack eight I mean hot dog
come in the pack eight I mean hot dog
come in the pack eight I mean hot dog did you make one how many hot dogs you
did you make one how many hot dogs you
did you make one how many hot dogs you gonna eat none
gonna eat none
gonna eat none if you ain’t made enough everybody than
if you ain’t made enough everybody than
if you ain’t made enough everybody than you ain’t done nothing I remembered that
you ain’t done nothing I remembered that
you ain’t done nothing I remembered that growing up that everybody needs to eat
growing up that everybody needs to eat
growing up that everybody needs to eat just like everybody needs health care
just like everybody needs health care
just like everybody needs health care right I’m telling you in my family we
right I’m telling you in my family we
right I’m telling you in my family we couldn’t afford the robitussin we just
couldn’t afford the robitussin we just
couldn’t afford the robitussin we just had Tilson and that’ll fix anything mama
had Tilson and that’ll fix anything mama
had Tilson and that’ll fix anything mama my elbows hurt get the tussin that’s
my elbows hurt get the tussin that’s
my elbows hurt get the tussin that’s what we got we would reach out in
what we got we would reach out in
what we got we would reach out in different forms and fashions it’s not
different forms and fashions it’s not
different forms and fashions it’s not always gonna look the way you think that
always gonna look the way you think that
always gonna look the way you think that it should look even in our community
it should look even in our community
it should look even in our community right here in Lexington Kentucky I went
right here in Lexington Kentucky I went
right here in Lexington Kentucky I went from the project’s to winburn estates I
from the project’s to winburn estates I
from the project’s to winburn estates I wanted to show people that there are a
wanted to show people that there are a
wanted to show people that there are a lot of good black men out there in our
lot of good black men out there in our
lot of good black men out there in our communities you know not every black man
communities you know not every black man
communities you know not every black man has a record my father has never been
has a record my father has never been
has a record my father has never been arrested and my father did not have a
arrested and my father did not have a
arrested and my father did not have a record unless it was made by Motown I
know the importance of having a black
know the importance of having a black man in the family and of having a
man in the family and of having a
man in the family and of having a two-parent household now I’m not trying
two-parent household now I’m not trying
two-parent household now I’m not trying to stand up here and pretend like we
to stand up here and pretend like we
to stand up here and pretend like we were the Huxtables but we wouldn’t have
were the Huxtables but we wouldn’t have
were the Huxtables but we wouldn’t have ins family neither we were more like The
ins family neither we were more like The
ins family neither we were more like The Jeffersons and my father said as long as
Jeffersons and my father said as long as
Jeffersons and my father said as long as you continue to get you learning you can
you continue to get you learning you can
you continue to get you learning you can do a cotton-pickin thing you want to do
do a cotton-pickin thing you want to do
do a cotton-pickin thing you want to do know you stay in school and that’s what
know you stay in school and that’s what
know you stay in school and that’s what I did I kept going knowing that if I
I did I kept going knowing that if I
I did I kept going knowing that if I just hang in there that I would be all
just hang in there that I would be all
just hang in there that I would be all right
right
right well lo and behold I had a former
well lo and behold I had a former
well lo and behold I had a former professor contact me and he said you’re
professor contact me and he said you’re
professor contact me and he said you’re either gonna kiss me or you’re gonna
either gonna kiss me or you’re gonna
either gonna kiss me or you’re gonna kick me and I did both cuz he offered me
kick me and I did both cuz he offered me
kick me and I did both cuz he offered me the role of portraying an aunt jemima I
the role of portraying an aunt jemima I
the role of portraying an aunt jemima I said what I have a master’s degree but
said what I have a master’s degree but
said what I have a master’s degree but then once I really got into the project
then once I really got into the project
then once I really got into the project through Kentucky humanities I became a
through Kentucky humanities I became a
through Kentucky humanities I became a chatauqua character and I portrayed this
chatauqua character and I portrayed this
chatauqua character and I portrayed this wonderful woman called Nancy Green who
wonderful woman called Nancy Green who
wonderful woman called Nancy Green who was born in 1834 in Mount Sterling
was born in 1834 in Mount Sterling
was born in 1834 in Mount Sterling Kentucky she was born as a slave and she
Kentucky she was born as a slave and she
Kentucky she was born as a slave and she died a rich Negro lady Nancy Green aka
died a rich Negro lady Nancy Green aka
died a rich Negro lady Nancy Green aka Aunt Jemima and once we began to do the
Aunt Jemima and once we began to do the
Aunt Jemima and once we began to do the research on her
research on her
research on her I saw how her life changed other
I saw how her life changed other
I saw how her life changed other people’s lives through the money that
people’s lives through the money that
people’s lives through the money that she made portraying and Aunt Jemima she
she made portraying and Aunt Jemima she
she made portraying and Aunt Jemima she was able to help build churches she was
was able to help build churches she was
was able to help build churches she was able to help her Negro brothers and
able to help her Negro brothers and
able to help her Negro brothers and sisters get houses homes for themselves
sisters get houses homes for themselves
sisters get houses homes for themselves she did traveling ministries and I
she did traveling ministries and I
she did traveling ministries and I thought wow that’s what I want to do so
thought wow that’s what I want to do so
thought wow that’s what I want to do so as I toured this great state of Kentucky
as I toured this great state of Kentucky
as I toured this great state of Kentucky portraying Miss Nancy green I get to
portraying Miss Nancy green I get to
portraying Miss Nancy green I get to share my story and it’s so wonderful
share my story and it’s so wonderful
share my story and it’s so wonderful that I’m able to come back and give back
that I’m able to come back and give back
that I’m able to come back and give back to this wonderful society that I call
to this wonderful society that I call
to this wonderful society that I call home I’d like to close with this one
home I’d like to close with this one
home I’d like to close with this one story that changed my life forever
story that changed my life forever
story that changed my life forever and I hope it’ll do the same for you
and I hope it’ll do the same for you
and I hope it’ll do the same for you that you all remember that nobody nobody
that you all remember that nobody nobody
that you all remember that nobody nobody does it alone you will always have help
does it alone you will always have help
does it alone you will always have help it’s the universal law I’ve learned that
it’s the universal law I’ve learned that
it’s the universal law I’ve learned that I let me tell you my father’s dementia
I let me tell you my father’s dementia
I let me tell you my father’s dementia made me change religions because I
made me change religions because I
made me change religions because I didn’t think Jesus could handle this
didn’t think Jesus could handle this
didn’t think Jesus could handle this load I call it on Buddha Allah Yahweh
load I call it on Buddha Allah Yahweh
load I call it on Buddha Allah Yahweh Jehovah I went from being a Baptist to
Jehovah I went from being a Baptist to
Jehovah I went from being a Baptist to being a Buddhist because I needed that
being a Buddhist because I needed that
being a Buddhist because I needed that and nam-myoho-renge-kyo helped me so I
and nam-myoho-renge-kyo helped me so I
and nam-myoho-renge-kyo helped me so I want to share this story with you in
want to share this story with you in
want to share this story with you in hopes that it’ll help you
hopes that it’ll help you
hopes that it’ll help you and that nobody does it alone I was a
and that nobody does it alone I was a
and that nobody does it alone I was a little girl and I wanted to tell my
little girl and I wanted to tell my
little girl and I wanted to tell my daddy that I did something all by myself
daddy that I did something all by myself
daddy that I did something all by myself and he corrected me with his eighth
and he corrected me with his eighth
and he corrected me with his eighth grade education my father retired a
grade education my father retired a
grade education my father retired a carpenter from the Fayette County School
carpenter from the Fayette County School
carpenter from the Fayette County School Board and this is what he taught me
Board and this is what he taught me
Board and this is what he taught me daddy
daddy
daddy a clean bathroom by myself can you
a clean bathroom by myself can you
a clean bathroom by myself can you please give me my allowance
please give me my allowance
please give me my allowance he said you clean bathroom all by
he said you clean bathroom all by
he said you clean bathroom all by yourself sure you sure you doing it all
yourself sure you sure you doing it all
yourself sure you sure you doing it all by yourself
by yourself
by yourself yes daddy I clean bathroom all by myself
yes daddy I clean bathroom all by myself
yes daddy I clean bathroom all by myself and then didn’t know if I helped me they
and then didn’t know if I helped me they
and then didn’t know if I helped me they was all I started planning though they
was all I started planning though they
was all I started planning though they supposed to be helping but they didn’t
supposed to be helping but they didn’t
supposed to be helping but they didn’t and I cleaned the bathroom
and I cleaned the bathroom
and I cleaned the bathroom ah by myself Jonah when the mayor showed
ah by myself Jonah when the mayor showed
ah by myself Jonah when the mayor showed when you turn on the light the light
when you turn on the light the light
when you turn on the light the light work yes Daddy
work yes Daddy
work yes Daddy Accor daddy work you ain’t done that by
Accor daddy work you ain’t done that by
Accor daddy work you ain’t done that by yourself here’s damodara trying to learn
yourself here’s damodara trying to learn
yourself here’s damodara trying to learn you daddy
you daddy
you daddy yeah she saw mill when you turn on the
yeah she saw mill when you turn on the
yeah she saw mill when you turn on the water do the water come out to speak it
water do the water come out to speak it
water do the water come out to speak it yes daddy because your mama worked your
yes daddy because your mama worked your
yes daddy because your mama worked your mama pay bad water bill you ain’t done
mama pay bad water bill you ain’t done
mama pay bad water bill you ain’t done nothin by yourself yeah who knows you
nothin by yourself yeah who knows you
nothin by yourself yeah who knows you said milk when you went to get the Ajax
said milk when you went to get the Ajax
said milk when you went to get the Ajax and what clothes was it underneath the
and what clothes was it underneath the
and what clothes was it underneath the sink for you because your brother work
sink for you because your brother work
sink for you because your brother work below and him had to be a maid he been
below and him had to be a maid he been
below and him had to be a maid he been out there shoveling snow all winter and
out there shoveling snow all winter and
out there shoveling snow all winter and raking leaves doing this summer you
raking leaves doing this summer you
raking leaves doing this summer you think you done it all by yourself I know
think you done it all by yourself I know
think you done it all by yourself I know you think you done it all with a key
you think you done it all with a key
you think you done it all with a key know about it do nothing by this hill
know about it do nothing by this hill
know about it do nothing by this hill here understand and I help Barack Obama
here understand and I help Barack Obama
here understand and I help Barack Obama get into office my one-vote don’t know
get into office my one-vote don’t know
get into office my one-vote don’t know what I’ve done I let that man get in the
what I’ve done I let that man get in the
what I’ve done I let that man get in the office he didn’t get in there by self
office he didn’t get in there by self
office he didn’t get in there by self you understand what they’re trying to
you understand what they’re trying to
you understand what they’re trying to learn you turned learn you right here in
learn you turned learn you right here in
learn you turned learn you right here in his house before you get out there in
his house before you get out there in
his house before you get out there in that real world and they learn in a
that real world and they learn in a
that real world and they learn in a different way his folks that been
different way his folks that been
different way his folks that been dangling from cheese from where they’ve
dangling from cheese from where they’ve
dangling from cheese from where they’ve been home
been home
been home swinging like strange fruit these people
swinging like strange fruit these people
swinging like strange fruit these people that had to sit in the back of the bus
that had to sit in the back of the bus
that had to sit in the back of the bus so you could sit in the front of the
so you could sit in the front of the
so you could sit in the front of the classroom and you can tell me you done
classroom and you can tell me you done
classroom and you can tell me you done it all by yourself whether you know
it all by yourself whether you know
it all by yourself whether you know about it or not somebody help you cuz we
about it or not somebody help you cuz we
about it or not somebody help you cuz we all need help and I never forgot
all need help and I never forgot
all need help and I never forgot that lesson I never never forgot that
that lesson I never never forgot that
that lesson I never never forgot that lesson and Here I am praying for a good
lesson and Here I am praying for a good
lesson and Here I am praying for a good man I thought that I was praying for a
man I thought that I was praying for a
man I thought that I was praying for a husband I was just praying for a good
husband I was just praying for a good
husband I was just praying for a good man and what I ended up with was an 85
man and what I ended up with was an 85
man and what I ended up with was an 85 year old disabled Korean War veteran and
year old disabled Korean War veteran and
year old disabled Korean War veteran and I call him dad thank you
I call him dad thank you
I call him dad thank you [Applause]
”
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