I remember the first time I was ever cat called it was the summer after junior
called it was the summer after junior
called it was the summer after junior year and I had just spent the day with
year and I had just spent the day with
year and I had just spent the day with my friends shopping and eating at
my friends shopping and eating at
my friends shopping and eating at downtown Durham and we were heading back
downtown Durham and we were heading back
downtown Durham and we were heading back so we were heading back to her school so
so we were heading back to her school so
so we were heading back to her school so we were getting on a bus there and I was
we were getting on a bus there and I was
we were getting on a bus there and I was the last person to walk up the bus with
the last person to walk up the bus with
the last person to walk up the bus with my friends and as I walked up the bus
my friends and as I walked up the bus
my friends and as I walked up the bus I remember hearing this distinct whistle
I remember hearing this distinct whistle
I remember hearing this distinct whistle this kind of very typical cat call
this kind of very typical cat call
this kind of very typical cat call whistle and I remember my heart dropping
whistle and I remember my heart dropping
whistle and I remember my heart dropping in my chest because for the first time I
in my chest because for the first time I
in my chest because for the first time I felt like a piece of meat this piece of
felt like a piece of meat this piece of
felt like a piece of meat this piece of meat that was on display for everyone to
meat that was on display for everyone to
meat that was on display for everyone to see and judge and look at because that
see and judge and look at because that
see and judge and look at because that clock collar you put all this attention
clock collar you put all this attention
clock collar you put all this attention on the parts of me that are often deemed
on the parts of me that are often deemed
on the parts of me that are often deemed sexy or sexual I felt like nothing more
sexy or sexual I felt like nothing more
sexy or sexual I felt like nothing more than a nice rack or nice ass I felt
than a nice rack or nice ass I felt
than a nice rack or nice ass I felt almost violated growing up I wasn’t
almost violated growing up I wasn’t
almost violated growing up I wasn’t really allowed to wear I guess revealing
really allowed to wear I guess revealing
really allowed to wear I guess revealing clothing so that would be like I guess
clothing so that would be like I guess
clothing so that would be like I guess short shorts skirts tight dresses
short shorts skirts tight dresses
short shorts skirts tight dresses cleavage baring tops something like that
cleavage baring tops something like that
cleavage baring tops something like that and I knew that if I walk down the
and I knew that if I walk down the
and I knew that if I walk down the stairs my peers have sent me right back
stairs my peers have sent me right back
stairs my peers have sent me right back up to change and I use don’t understand
up to change and I use don’t understand
up to change and I use don’t understand why when I was younger it was what
why when I was younger it was what
why when I was younger it was what everyone was wearing it was comfortable
everyone was wearing it was comfortable
everyone was wearing it was comfortable it was cute was trendy
it was cute was trendy
it was cute was trendy all my friends wore it but after that
all my friends wore it but after that
all my friends wore it but after that incident I finally understood why they
incident I finally understood why they
incident I finally understood why they didn’t let me wear it because they knew
didn’t let me wear it because they knew
didn’t let me wear it because they knew as soon as I stepped out that door I
as soon as I stepped out that door I
as soon as I stepped out that door I stepped into a public space with people
stepped into a public space with people
stepped into a public space with people they knew that people’s attention would
they knew that people’s attention would
they knew that people’s attention would automatically gravitate towards as I
automatically gravitate towards as I
automatically gravitate towards as I said earlier the sexy parts of me my
said earlier the sexy parts of me my
said earlier the sexy parts of me my breasts
breasts
breasts the curves of my body my bottom and they
the curves of my body my bottom and they
the curves of my body my bottom and they knew they would they would hone on those
knew they would they would hone on those
knew they would they would hone on those parts and would bring attention to it
parts and would bring attention to it
parts and would bring attention to it and they knew that I would be sexualized
sadly this is an issue everywhere
sadly this is an issue everywhere anywhere in a woman’s life take going to
anywhere in a woman’s life take going to
anywhere in a woman’s life take going to the mall is buying clothes you look on
the mall is buying clothes you look on
the mall is buying clothes you look on the walls of the mall walls at the store
the walls of the mall walls at the store
the walls of the mall walls at the store and you see these huge posters of women
and you see these huge posters of women
and you see these huge posters of women they’re advertising the clothes but on
they’re advertising the clothes but on
they’re advertising the clothes but on these posters there’s so much more on
these posters there’s so much more on
these posters there’s so much more on these posters you can see oftentimes the
these posters you can see oftentimes the
these posters you can see oftentimes the same thing I said earlier clothes that
same thing I said earlier clothes that
same thing I said earlier clothes that emphasize the body emphasize the
emphasize the body emphasize the
emphasize the body emphasize the cleavage emphasize the sexy parts of her
essentially of sexualizing her you go
essentially of sexualizing her you go look at magazines you’re gonna cover the
look at magazines you’re gonna cover the
look at magazines you’re gonna cover the same things happening they’re not work
same things happening they’re not work
same things happening they’re not work except they’re not really wearing that
except they’re not really wearing that
except they’re not really wearing that much clothes emphasizing the skin how
much clothes emphasizing the skin how
much clothes emphasizing the skin how much skin they’re showing on the cover
much skin they’re showing on the cover
much skin they’re showing on the cover of these magazines it says things like
of these magazines it says things like
of these magazines it says things like 10 tips look sexier 10 tips to make a
10 tips look sexier 10 tips to make a
10 tips look sexier 10 tips to make a guy wants you they’re putting this
guy wants you they’re putting this
guy wants you they’re putting this pressure there pretty much standard on
pressure there pretty much standard on
pressure there pretty much standard on you a sander is saying this is what you
you a sander is saying this is what you
you a sander is saying this is what you should look like this is how you should
should look like this is how you should
should look like this is how you should present yourself this is what we want
present yourself this is what we want
present yourself this is what we want you to look like that’s what we’re
you to look like that’s what we’re
you to look like that’s what we’re giving you tips even car shows they’re
giving you tips even car shows they’re
giving you tips even car shows they’re just selling cars but oftentimes in
just selling cars but oftentimes in
just selling cars but oftentimes in these shows they have this model
these shows they have this model
these shows they have this model standing next to it she’s posing she
standing next to it she’s posing she
standing next to it she’s posing she oftentimes is not wearing a lot of
oftentimes is not wearing a lot of
oftentimes is not wearing a lot of clothing and they’re pretty much
clothing and they’re pretty much
clothing and they’re pretty much exploiting the female form and we’re
exploiting the female form and we’re
exploiting the female form and we’re market these products
it can even happen on social media when
it can even happen on social media when you see the girls with the most likes
you see the girls with the most likes
you see the girls with the most likes the most followers those comments the
the most followers those comments the
the most followers those comments the most praise oftentimes you see their
most praise oftentimes you see their
most praise oftentimes you see their posts involved I’m showing off their
posts involved I’m showing off their
posts involved I’m showing off their body in some way showing skin showing
body in some way showing skin showing
body in some way showing skin showing the sexy parts of them and then these
the sexy parts of them and then these
the sexy parts of them and then these young girls these young girls who are in
young girls these young girls who are in
young girls these young girls who are in this age of digital media social media
this age of digital media social media
this age of digital media social media and these young girls who often are
and these young girls who often are
and these young girls who often are battling insecurities about themselves
battling insecurities about themselves
battling insecurities about themselves and what they look like
and what they look like
and what they look like Vallely insecurities on meeting these
Vallely insecurities on meeting these
Vallely insecurities on meeting these standards that people set on them they
standards that people set on them they
standards that people set on them they see these women that seem to have what
see these women that seem to have what
see these women that seem to have what they want these followers these likes
they want these followers these likes
they want these followers these likes this acceptance by society they see this
this acceptance by society they see this
this acceptance by society they see this and they’re like maybe if I post
and they’re like maybe if I post
and they’re like maybe if I post something like that if I post something
something like that if I post something
something like that if I post something that shows off me a little more maybe
that shows off me a little more maybe
that shows off me a little more maybe I’ll get the attention they have maybe
I’ll get the attention they have maybe
I’ll get the attention they have maybe I’ll get the more likes they have and
I’ll get the more likes they have and
I’ll get the more likes they have and maybe I’ll be happier with myself even
maybe I’ll be happier with myself even
maybe I’ll be happier with myself even in a woman’s daily life can you see this
in a woman’s daily life can you see this
in a woman’s daily life can you see this issue it’s not uncommon for a woman to
issue it’s not uncommon for a woman to
issue it’s not uncommon for a woman to hear comments like hey I think you
hear comments like hey I think you
hear comments like hey I think you should lose a little weight because if
should lose a little weight because if
should lose a little weight because if you lose a little weight you look more
you lose a little weight you look more
you lose a little weight you look more appealing or hey I think you should wear
appealing or hey I think you should wear
appealing or hey I think you should wear a little more makeup because if you wore
a little more makeup because if you wore
a little more makeup because if you wore a little more makeup you look a little
a little more makeup you look a little
a little more makeup you look a little more presentable or hey maybe you should
more presentable or hey maybe you should
more presentable or hey maybe you should start smiling a little more because you
start smiling a little more because you
start smiling a little more because you know if you smell a little more me but
know if you smell a little more me but
know if you smell a little more me but would like you and people would want to
would like you and people would want to
would like you and people would want to talk to you essentially what this is is
talk to you essentially what this is is
talk to you essentially what this is is people putting their standards on you
people putting their standards on you
people putting their standards on you their standards of how a woman should
their standards of how a woman should
their standards of how a woman should look a centers of what an appealing
look a centers of what an appealing
look a centers of what an appealing woman society would look like
and it puts pressure on these woman to
and it puts pressure on these woman to meet these standards to to I guess
meet these standards to to I guess
meet these standards to to I guess eat them and fulfill them
what we must do order to change this as
what we must do order to change this as us to change our behavior these what we
us to change our behavior these what we
us to change our behavior these what we deem is acceptable behavior we must stop
deem is acceptable behavior we must stop
deem is acceptable behavior we must stop this time we need to stop having
this time we need to stop having
this time we need to stop having advertisers pictures sexualized women in
advertisers pictures sexualized women in
advertisers pictures sexualized women in such a way they said uncle emphasizes
such a way they said uncle emphasizes
such a way they said uncle emphasizes the parts they’re doing sexy as I said
the parts they’re doing sexy as I said
the parts they’re doing sexy as I said earlier we market clothing for what it
earlier we market clothing for what it
earlier we market clothing for what it is just clothing we don’t need to put
is just clothing we don’t need to put
is just clothing we don’t need to put them places where they shouldn’t be
them places where they shouldn’t be
them places where they shouldn’t be they shouldn’t be or don’t need to be we
they shouldn’t be or don’t need to be we
they shouldn’t be or don’t need to be we need to stop need to condone behavior
need to stop need to condone behavior
need to stop need to condone behavior from people judging people’s like
from people judging people’s like
from people judging people’s like judging people’s appearance condoning
judging people’s appearance condoning
judging people’s appearance condoning the behavior that’s say it’s not okay to
the behavior that’s say it’s not okay to
the behavior that’s say it’s not okay to make comments like that because in the
make comments like that because in the
make comments like that because in the end a woman should be allowed to wear
end a woman should be allowed to wear
end a woman should be allowed to wear what she wants express or helps herself
what she wants express or helps herself
what she wants express or helps herself how however she wants and not had this
how however she wants and not had this
how however she wants and not had this pressure to look a certain way because
pressure to look a certain way because
pressure to look a certain way because everyone tells her to we must encourage
everyone tells her to we must encourage
everyone tells her to we must encourage a woman while they grow up while they
a woman while they grow up while they
a woman while they grow up while they face these insecurities growing up as a
face these insecurities growing up as a
face these insecurities growing up as a teenager or even younger we encouraged
teenager or even younger we encouraged
teenager or even younger we encouraged them to look into themselves find
them to look into themselves find
them to look into themselves find themselves understand what they want to
themselves understand what they want to
themselves understand what they want to be and allow them to express themselves
be and allow them to express themselves
be and allow them to express themselves through their physical appearance now
through their physical appearance now
through their physical appearance now forcing them conform now forcing them to
forcing them conform now forcing them to
forcing them conform now forcing them to not pressuring them to look this sexy
maybe thinking why I don’t do that
maybe thinking why I don’t do that like I don’t can’t call people I don’t
like I don’t can’t call people I don’t
like I don’t can’t call people I don’t say things like that to woman and that’s
say things like that to woman and that’s
say things like that to woman and that’s good I’m proud that you don’t do that
good I’m proud that you don’t do that
good I’m proud that you don’t do that but the issue is not you the issue the
but the issue is not you the issue the
but the issue is not you the issue the people who do do that and it is
people who do do that and it is
people who do do that and it is everyone’s responsibility to hold these
everyone’s responsibility to hold these
everyone’s responsibility to hold these people who think it’s okay to act like
people who think it’s okay to act like
people who think it’s okay to act like that accountable for their actions
that accountable for their actions
that accountable for their actions because if we don’t society is going to
because if we don’t society is going to
because if we don’t society is going to keep going down this path for a woman
keep going down this path for a woman
keep going down this path for a woman and be more and more sexualized and
and be more and more sexualized and
and be more and more sexualized and objectified in media and everywhere in
objectified in media and everywhere in
objectified in media and everywhere in life thank you
life thank you
life thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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