You just want to change the world.
You want to prove it.
Leave a trace.
Ensure immortality.
And because the children as a guarantee of the accomplished task in this world were not yet
ranked “to do list”, so you can prove your usefulness differently.
You want to be perfect.
The best.
Drink ten cups a day,
to maintain performance at the highest level,
five hours a day, for no more time.
You look great, so you’re trying at least,
even if it is not the case.
You do not work, you go to meetups,
to pop up store openings,
for vernissages, premieres,
on fancy parties,
working workshops,
(Laughter)
you are nice, interesting, funny,
you have a ready answer,
you learned to have an opinion,
you will work for five people,
because you do not sleep at night anymore, as your hands crash and your heart pounds,
so at three in the morning you open up your computer and answer your emails.
You say so, you will not refuse anyone,
you do not worry about anything, you are deliberately doing overtime,
because it is not waiting for you at home.
So in the morning, before you work, you will end up on the first morning bikram yoga lesson,
to eliminate the last gram of fat left out of your body,
you kick in a double espresso and half an hour before you’re at work
and in the middle of night emails.
(laughter)
That’s the ambition.
That mission.
That stuff.
And the more you are tired, the more you’ve been useful.
How to be seen among the five million people who arrive in Manhattan every morning,
to do something?
To make a piece of their right to success.
In a city where someone will always be better than you.
And even more crazy than you, because this is a city of marshals,
fools, fools, mourners, and everyone will tell you that.
This is the largest mental hospital in the world.
(laughter)
And it rolls it, it flows, it never dries, it never stops,
millions of the same losers as you,
millions of lonely souls,
which inflate their identity as a bubble,
as a survival strategy, as a confirmation of existence.
Always alone, but never alone.
And you run, you’re trying to get it, and then you’re running with them,
but there is always someone faster, somebody better and you’re going to stop,
always and every day and non stop.
Never ending taxi racking,
penetrating sirens of police cars,
sharply aliens fire trucks,
and desperately slick ambulances.
There is never ending the roaring of the hammer that breaks the asphalt,
starting bus engines,
Trucking trucks that ride through narrow streets.
Glowing and screaming,
the everlasting noise of human flesh that will never be silenced.
Still talking, everywhere, always standing, everywhere,
everything flows, it flows, flows,
he gets ahead,
buzzing and vibrating by shaking bones, teeth,
that the shaved head,
that you pull yourself into your shell,
into your world, into your virtual box.
And it becomes a rat, which has the right to be everywhere,
because this city belongs to her.
It must also be a rat, smart, fast, dare to bigger,
what will appear and disappear, you do not know how.
On a black table above your favorite wine store,
where illegal immigrants, especially Palestinians and Uzbeks, are staying
on plastic chairs and a meter plastic lawn,
is written:
“If I open my eyes in the morning and I see that I’m still in New York,
I know, I made it! “.
And it will happen soon.
Already tomorrow, already in the afternoon, already a week.
Per year. In ten years.
You will finally be able to say “I made it” and “I am the best”
although you do not even know what it means.
You can finally do that.
And you’ll have a relationship and great kids and a great job
and the big lodge on Long Island
and you can finally learn to wear shoes on needle heels
and finally you’ll make your hair every morning,
to look like that ad,
with the Red Lipstick Channel,
and you will smile broadly, though you do not have a wide mouth at all.
Finally, the New York Times will write about you
and say that you are not vainly chic,
but that I’m really chic,
and you will be invited to different conferences
and you will be wise and successful,
and you’ll be sexy too.
And you’ll have great sex with your husband …
And you’re going to be experimenting and finally buying erotic underwear
and finally you throw away the cotton that your mother buys.
(laughter)
And all this is going to happen.
You dream of plum dumplings.
Your father is throwing from a distance into a pot in which the water was boiling,
as if they were piping balls,
with whom you played as small
at grandma’s hall,
where you always fell first in a pinpong carousel.
You were afraid they would not
and that the boiling water would scorch him.
Then he went out to the garden where you had plums.
The set burned.
You were looking at the trees in the flames
and you knew that these plum dumplings,
are the last ones you eat.
They will never be anymore.
This is the last one.
Everything is faster.
You do not even remember, the last time Sky was home.
Even relationships are faster here,
such an instant, fast food love.
Within an hour you can have sex with an unknown person.
Just just swipe right – means like,
swipe left – delete,
blue star – is super like.
You only get super foxes on Tindra.
But be careful not to tell anyone where you need 10 miles away,
it will not come to you.
Just set your radar to within two miles,
so that he can catch the gallbladder and stay with you within minutes,
you will see his photos,
and if he has at least one with a pet or a child,
so it’s safe.
(laughter)
No one expects you to write “even then”.
How practical is that?
Anyway, there is not much time left.
You get old.
At each transition, the remaining time counts for seconds.
And New York’s second is much shorter than normal second.
It takes exactly three quarters of a real second.
Sometimes you can measure it at the New York crossing.
I did it.
(laughter)
That’s why everything is faster.
Waiting for two minutes in the queue for coffee is just fucking slow!
So you pay him online in advance, and you see,
that your caramel-dill bunt will be ready in 3.5 minutes.
(laughter)
So you run into a cafe,
where a super cup with your name is already on the counter,
you gallop after him and run out.
And you see that the last ten New York seconds have left you:
9 – how many unread emails are waiting for you in the mailbox,
8 – how many hours remain in the last grant endorsement,
7 – what do you do tonight,
6 – try to call someone,
5 – but to whom, as no one has time,
4 – you’d better stay at work and finish the text,
3 – and buy your wine home,
2 – what if you had a baby,
1-shit, you forgot the laundry at the Portorik in the laundry …
(laughter)
And then you go home from work,
and take it on foot through Central Park,
even though they all say that you do not have to walk this way at night.
But that’s total nonsense.
This is the safest city at all.
Moreover, you do not look around,
because you hang out for a long time on facebook
and you control how much you got for the afternoon post.
And under that lamp the selfie will look divine.
Still, there are filters that will smooth out your startling wrinkles,
the contrast covers the circles under the eyes,
or you can make a mysterious sexy look in black and white.
You just live a perfect life.
You got cool on like look
and cool cool attitude.
You are the curator of your own life.
And you’re not alone,
because you get comments: hey beautiful!
Kráááásná!
You are sexy!
Miss you!
Although you have not seen the person in your life.
(laughter)
And so you sort of known to your friends,
because they liked and fucked because they did not.
(laughter)
And you’re coming down from their lonely living rooms
and you are sending smiley hearts
and you feel like you’re shaking that life,
because you have osumset friends on facebook,
just as happy and successful as you are.
(laughter)
And then you cry out in a video of ghoulish lachtanama.
(laughter)
(applause)
And then you come
into your little room
on the fifteenth and tenth,
where ninety years ago the dogdy area of street gangs,
mafia families and social cases,
however, in one such social housing,
because no one in Manhattan is allowed to live alone.
Finally, open the bottle of wine
and through the application you order the Mexican around the corner
guacamols and chips, and they’ll take you to the room.
And you crack the chips and you look out
through dusty windows,
to the shining Manhattan,
which still blinks and blows,
and those empty bottles
from tequila and beer in your room,
unsweetened, spicy coffee in a crucible,
and on that red hat,
in which you were once a lady,
clusters of dirty cloths on the floor,
a pair of never-read books
and nothing.
Only white powder flakes
spinning around like you.
And you know there’s nobody,
to whom you could call in the middle of the night
and crap about the crap.
There is still Netflix
and the new Narcos series,
otherwise, the dying head
you will never stop.
And then you look into the mirror and you hear it say,
Who are you?
What are you waiting for ?!
And then the girl in that mirror
will start asking questions and you say:
I say, be quiet,
or I’ll break your brace, either shut up,
but she is not, perhaps, borderless,
so do it in salt and say,
And where is your famous meaning?
Why are you doing all this?
For whom? For whom?
Yeah, you’re saving the world, ah!
Who do you want to be perfect for?
With whom do you compete and over whom do you want to win?
Above me?
This is for an eternally stopped second.
Those sentences hang in the air
as shining billboards on Times Square:
They are big, bold and sharp.
It’s the moment you hear
to flow blood inside your own body,
when you feel the heartbeat of your heart
and you swear that the heart
in your own body you see two.
Suddenly, nothing of your life makes any sense.
And you will remember
on the Palestinians in the LP that said to you:
Yeah, you in Europe, you still know how to live.
And suddenly,
that you want to go back to the track
and taste a great Italian paste
in that little village
and have fun with the local people and children
and perhaps only the weather,
and also that you want to go to the water
and get wet and get a hot grog in a log cabin
and dry the wet laundry and the drooping telephone over the fire,
and you also want to go with your mom on the mushrooms,
and ask her,
why did she leave my father at the age of sixty,
but he still walks after him.
And take beer sies
and ask her
if he has a boy at all
and put your hands in the dirt
and plant something
and make a campfire, and convey the boys,
let them take you on the path,
even if you are a girl and you are not a vegan.
(laughter)
And go to the terribly bad amateur theater
to the Student Club
and be thrilled with their energy,
who thinks he will change the world
just as you thought it before.
And help Dad with those plum dumplings,
until you have it.
So I go and talk to the people
I will learn about their problems,
and the joys,
what they dream about and what they are afraid of,
how do blacks make their hair and wear wigs,
and why they wear the comb in afro,
and as well as living with those who do not have the status,
credibility, pedigree,
and to those that society rejects
because they are different.
They have different skin colors
another culture,
with the gendrem, they are not completely solved,
or they are old and therefore unattractive
and / or have a disease
and who would like to hang out with them too?
So these are all for you
Miss America,
those that are not above, nor in the middle,
but those who are down and or around the corner,
where they can not be seen,
or are actually here,
but for us they are invisible,
but they still did not give up.
And at one moment,
maybe it’s somewhere else than you’d expect,
maybe you’re standing the bus front,
or you are showering,
it will happen to you.
That happiness is not outside of you
at some remote destination,
which you are trying to achieve,
or that you are materially secure
and thanks to that you will be able to
to enjoy that luxury of happiness,
but whether you live here and now,
fully, presently,
without closing into the inner world of dreams,
unfulfilled “to do” sheets,
which are yet to lead you to distant happiness.
It is not about trying to be happy.
But knowing that what I do makes sense.
And it makes sense to fight.
And luck must be listened.
Because it’s long ago inside you.
Already since birth, since birth,
we only have him at that time
covered in layers
habits, rules,
knowledge and social skills,
which exciting feeling of enthusiasm from an unknown
tightly closed.
So I’m learning to be amazed again.
Again to be here and now.
And do everything at a hundred percent.
A hundred percent to watch and listen to a hundred percent,
smell and taste food,
and to just stop lying down
in the hammock and know I’m dreaming.
And to stop talking to the other, listen to them.
And to stoppercent to do bullshit
and be reckless,
without a minor utility agenda,
utility, proving,
advocacy and fulfillment.
And letting you do nothing!
And let yourself not perfect.
Because it is the greatest luxury that one is capable of.
Do not have a perfectly tidy apartment,
not to be a perfect partner,
great mother, wonderful girlfriend,
do not even do the best in what I do.
Do not even do the best in what I do.
And let me admit that I will not change the world.
And I will not change society, my friends or my partners.
Just yourself.
And it’s great to know I’m not perfect.
Because perfection does not exist.
It’s high time to be able to re-awake again.
Let yourself know and know again.
Let your child’s astonishment
over a fantastically baked rabbit.
Let yourself cling to others and tell them your story.
Yeah, I’d like to prove it now.
(applause)
”
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