I’ve been listening to so many of the speakers today and I was trying to
speakers today and I was trying to
speakers today and I was trying to identify a common thread that that runs
identify a common thread that that runs
identify a common thread that that runs through all of these talks and there is
through all of these talks and there is
through all of these talks and there is definitely a common thread that that
definitely a common thread that that
definitely a common thread that that runs through these talks and what I’ve
runs through these talks and what I’ve
runs through these talks and what I’ve picked up is who we are now bigger
picked up is who we are now bigger
picked up is who we are now bigger Pardoner’s women so it’s a ytt my life’s
Pardoner’s women so it’s a ytt my life’s
Pardoner’s women so it’s a ytt my life’s designer label so can anybody tell me
designer label so can anybody tell me
designer label so can anybody tell me what you think ytt stands for ok
what you think ytt stands for ok
what you think ytt stands for ok yesterday today and tomorrow because all
yesterday today and tomorrow because all
yesterday today and tomorrow because all of us come from yesterday there’s been a
of us come from yesterday there’s been a
of us come from yesterday there’s been a yesterday there’s been a history of
yesterday there’s been a history of
yesterday there’s been a history of things that have happened in our lives
things that have happened in our lives
things that have happened in our lives things that people have said to us good
things that people have said to us good
things that people have said to us good bad ugly that influences our belief
bad ugly that influences our belief
bad ugly that influences our belief systems and it influences the way that
systems and it influences the way that
systems and it influences the way that we think and it influences are today and
we think and it influences are today and
we think and it influences are today and the way that our today is influenced
the way that our today is influenced
the way that our today is influenced will determine where r tomorrow is and
will determine where r tomorrow is and
will determine where r tomorrow is and where we going to go to tomorrow and
where we going to go to tomorrow and
where we going to go to tomorrow and what adjustments and changes we need to
what adjustments and changes we need to
what adjustments and changes we need to make in our belief systems many of the
make in our belief systems many of the
make in our belief systems many of the the speakers today spoke about
the speakers today spoke about
the speakers today spoke about experiences that happen to them that
experiences that happen to them that
experiences that happen to them that force them to change their lives again
force them to change their lives again
force them to change their lives again so this was me in 2014 the photo on the
so this was me in 2014 the photo on the
so this was me in 2014 the photo on the left sports me bright smile a mop of red
left sports me bright smile a mop of red
left sports me bright smile a mop of red hair and the photo on the right is me on
hair and the photo on the right is me on
hair and the photo on the right is me on the summit of Kilimanjaro about two or
the summit of Kilimanjaro about two or
the summit of Kilimanjaro about two or three years before that and I’ve
three years before that and I’ve
three years before that and I’ve purposefully juxtaposed these two images
purposefully juxtaposed these two images
purposefully juxtaposed these two images because I’m going to come back to the
because I’m going to come back to the
because I’m going to come back to the lessons that I was taught in Tanzania
lessons that I was taught in Tanzania
lessons that I was taught in Tanzania which would carry me through probably
which would carry me through probably
which would carry me through probably the darkest time in my life very shortly
the darkest time in my life very shortly
the darkest time in my life very shortly after this photograph was taken now my
after this photograph was taken now my
after this photograph was taken now my entire life I pushed myself to the nth
entire life I pushed myself to the nth
entire life I pushed myself to the nth degree because I suffered from two fears
degree because I suffered from two fears
degree because I suffered from two fears the fear of not being good enough and
the fear of not being good enough and
the fear of not being good enough and the fear of rejection and I think if
the fear of rejection and I think if
the fear of rejection and I think if we’re honest with ourselves some way
we’re honest with ourselves some way
we’re honest with ourselves some way some time in our lives we all suffer
some time in our lives we all suffer
some time in our lives we all suffer from that fear of rejection and that
from that fear of rejection and that
from that fear of rejection and that fear that I’m not good enough so I
fear that I’m not good enough so I
fear that I’m not good enough so I pushed myself I excelled in absolutely
pushed myself I excelled in absolutely
pushed myself I excelled in absolutely everything that I did whether it was
everything that I did whether it was
everything that I did whether it was academics whether it was sport whether
academics whether it was sport whether
academics whether it was sport whether it was cultural things because I always
it was cultural things because I always
it was cultural things because I always believed and felt that if I excelled and
believed and felt that if I excelled and
believed and felt that if I excelled and I really did so well then people
I really did so well then people
I really did so well then people wouldn’t reject me and I would be good
wouldn’t reject me and I would be good
wouldn’t reject me and I would be good enough and I started to lose myself in
enough and I started to lose myself in
enough and I started to lose myself in the process I started off as an attorney
the process I started off as an attorney
the process I started off as an attorney and I practiced for 47 years and then I
and I practiced for 47 years and then I
and I practiced for 47 years and then I got divorced and then I decided okay if
got divorced and then I decided okay if
got divorced and then I decided okay if I change one thing then I change
I change one thing then I change
I change one thing then I change everything that’s kind of the way my
everything that’s kind of the way my
everything that’s kind of the way my personality goes is there’s no middle
personality goes is there’s no middle
personality goes is there’s no middle way it’s either de Conti or that way so
way it’s either de Conti or that way so
way it’s either de Conti or that way so i sold my practice and i moved to Janice
i sold my practice and i moved to Janice
i sold my practice and i moved to Janice burg not a valley girl I come from the
burg not a valley girl I come from the
burg not a valley girl I come from the form so yeah I move to Johannesburg I
form so yeah I move to Johannesburg I
form so yeah I move to Johannesburg I starting an IT company I know nothing
starting an IT company I know nothing
starting an IT company I know nothing about i.t I’ll go for the interview they
about i.t I’ll go for the interview they
about i.t I’ll go for the interview they asked me where does i.t stand for now go
asked me where does i.t stand for now go
asked me where does i.t stand for now go eat unless enter information technology
eat unless enter information technology
eat unless enter information technology and I go what’s information technology
and I go what’s information technology
and I go what’s information technology used to talk for a living I’d have a
used to talk for a living I’d have a
used to talk for a living I’d have a dictaphone and I have somebody type
dictaphone and I have somebody type
dictaphone and I have somebody type stuff and I sign and I’ll go to court
stuff and I sign and I’ll go to court
stuff and I sign and I’ll go to court and women end of story and I started at
and women end of story and I started at
and women end of story and I started at the bottom of this company and I worked
the bottom of this company and I worked
the bottom of this company and I worked myself up and a year after I got
myself up and a year after I got
myself up and a year after I got divorced my ex husband died in a car
divorced my ex husband died in a car
divorced my ex husband died in a car crash so that was a whole bunch of other
crash so that was a whole bunch of other
crash so that was a whole bunch of other emotions that I had to deal with and so
emotions that I had to deal with and so
emotions that I had to deal with and so on and so forth all the rejection all
on and so forth all the rejection all
on and so forth all the rejection all the drama but in all of the
the drama but in all of the
the drama but in all of the I forced myself to make choices that was
I forced myself to make choices that was
I forced myself to make choices that was sometimes good for me and choices that
sometimes good for me and choices that
sometimes good for me and choices that were sometimes bad for me but I was
were sometimes bad for me but I was
were sometimes bad for me but I was determined that I would in this
determined that I would in this
determined that I would in this corporate ladder I would get to the top
corporate ladder I would get to the top
corporate ladder I would get to the top so I was always chasing the next
so I was always chasing the next
so I was always chasing the next multi-million Rand contract the next
multi-million Rand contract the next
multi-million Rand contract the next award the next salesperson of the year
award the next salesperson of the year
award the next salesperson of the year the the next whatever I climbed
the the next whatever I climbed
the the next whatever I climbed mountains I ran the comrades twice I
mountains I ran the comrades twice I
mountains I ran the comrades twice I cycled from Ventura to cape town on my
cycled from Ventura to cape town on my
cycled from Ventura to cape town on my bicycle I was always running and in the
bicycle I was always running and in the
bicycle I was always running and in the process I kind of left God out of the
process I kind of left God out of the
process I kind of left God out of the equation as well I project manage god I
equation as well I project manage god I
equation as well I project manage god I used to say to him okay right we’ve got
used to say to him okay right we’ve got
used to say to him okay right we’ve got a bit of a problem here so I’m going to
a bit of a problem here so I’m going to
a bit of a problem here so I’m going to move over slightly you drive for a while
move over slightly you drive for a while
move over slightly you drive for a while and then when I think you’re done then
and then when I think you’re done then
and then when I think you’re done then I’ll take over the steering wheel and
I’ll take over the steering wheel and
I’ll take over the steering wheel and does that sound familiar how many of us
does that sound familiar how many of us
does that sound familiar how many of us actually do that okay and then I decided
actually do that okay and then I decided
actually do that okay and then I decided when we were just one moment so when I
when we were just one moment so when I
when we were just one moment so when I finally decided okay I’m done with
finally decided okay I’m done with
finally decided okay I’m done with corporate I’ve now sold my soul to the
corporate I’ve now sold my soul to the
corporate I’ve now sold my soul to the devil I there is nothing left of me as
devil I there is nothing left of me as
devil I there is nothing left of me as an individual I have lost any form of
an individual I have lost any form of
an individual I have lost any form of creativity I was photographing in the
creativity I was photographing in the
creativity I was photographing in the Maasai Mara and 2013 and and the
Maasai Mara and 2013 and and the
Maasai Mara and 2013 and and the creative spark started to come back and
creative spark started to come back and
creative spark started to come back and I had a client he said to me Cindy give
I had a client he said to me Cindy give
I had a client he said to me Cindy give up corporate track a sabbatical go and
up corporate track a sabbatical go and
up corporate track a sabbatical go and write your screenplay go and write your
write your screenplay go and write your
write your screenplay go and write your book go and write the plays go study
book go and write the plays go study
book go and write the plays go study drama because you always wanted to be an
drama because you always wanted to be an
drama because you always wanted to be an actress and that’s exactly what I did so
actress and that’s exactly what I did so
actress and that’s exactly what I did so in November 2013 I went to London for a
in November 2013 I went to London for a
in November 2013 I went to London for a week and I studied under the mentorship
week and I studied under the mentorship
week and I studied under the mentorship and the tuition of an American writer
and the tuition of an American writer
and the tuition of an American writer called Robert McKee he’s had a couple of
called Robert McKee he’s had a couple of
called Robert McKee he’s had a couple of oscar-winning students and I was walking
oscar-winning students and I was walking
oscar-winning students and I was walking back in the rain one day and I realized
back in the rain one day and I realized
back in the rain one day and I realized but this is what I want to do I want to
but this is what I want to do I want to
but this is what I want to do I want to write stories I want to tell stories I
write stories I want to tell stories I
write stories I want to tell stories I want to save the world and in January of
want to save the world and in January of
want to save the world and in January of 2014 I handed in my resignation and
2014 I handed in my resignation and
2014 I handed in my resignation and everybody said to me as she Sundy what
everybody said to me as she Sundy what
everybody said to me as she Sundy what are you doing you’re in your 40s you’re
are you doing you’re in your 40s you’re
are you doing you’re in your 40s you’re having a middle
having a middle
having a middle life crisis you’re giving up you’ve
life crisis you’re giving up you’ve
life crisis you’re giving up you’ve already given up your pure pure legal
already given up your pure pure legal
already given up your pure pure legal degree and I said no I’ve done my
degree and I said no I’ve done my
degree and I said no I’ve done my masters in between as well so I haven’t
masters in between as well so I haven’t
masters in between as well so I haven’t given up my legal degree but comes in
given up my legal degree but comes in
given up my legal degree but comes in handy every now and again and everybody
handy every now and again and everybody
handy every now and again and everybody thought i had gone completely Looney
thought i had gone completely Looney
thought i had gone completely Looney Tunes I’ve lost my marbles handed in my
Tunes I’ve lost my marbles handed in my
Tunes I’ve lost my marbles handed in my resignation packed up my house for three
resignation packed up my house for three
resignation packed up my house for three months shipped my dogs off to a friend
months shipped my dogs off to a friend
months shipped my dogs off to a friend and I went to Los Angeles and I studied
and I went to Los Angeles and I studied
and I went to Los Angeles and I studied script and screenplay writing at the
script and screenplay writing at the
script and screenplay writing at the screenwriters University I did an acting
screenwriters University I did an acting
screenwriters University I did an acting conservatory course at the HTML School
conservatory course at the HTML School
conservatory course at the HTML School of the Arts I landed up on set of an
of the Arts I landed up on set of an
of the Arts I landed up on set of an international children’s movie where was
international children’s movie where was
international children’s movie where was a set photographer and life was groovy
a set photographer and life was groovy
a set photographer and life was groovy finally I was living my passion it’s go
finally I was living my passion it’s go
finally I was living my passion it’s go pretty little God in the background but
pretty little God in the background but
pretty little God in the background but I was living my passion I was finally
I was living my passion I was finally
I was living my passion I was finally feeling alive and I came back and that
feeling alive and I came back and that
feeling alive and I came back and that happened
okay in august of 2014 i was diagnosed
okay in august of 2014 i was diagnosed with breast cancer early stage two on
with breast cancer early stage two on
with breast cancer early stage two on the right side and i said to all the
the right side and i said to all the
the right side and i said to all the ologist the oncologist the radiologist
ologist the oncologist the radiologist
ologist the oncologist the radiologist the sonographer are these modern ologist
the sonographer are these modern ologist
the sonographer are these modern ologist in that but I said to him you take this
in that but I said to him you take this
in that but I said to him you take this one off you take that one off I’m going
one off you take that one off I’m going
one off you take that one off I’m going through this journey only once and I am
through this journey only once and I am
through this journey only once and I am is realizing it was one of the earlier
is realizing it was one of the earlier
is realizing it was one of the earlier speakers that said that we could put in
speakers that said that we could put in
speakers that said that we could put in a box and we get judged and labeled the
a box and we get judged and labeled the
a box and we get judged and labeled the way we look and what we have and when I
way we look and what we have and when I
way we look and what we have and when I came out of the doctors consulting rooms
came out of the doctors consulting rooms
came out of the doctors consulting rooms it was actually very poignant because I
it was actually very poignant because I
it was actually very poignant because I had wanted a friend to go with and she
had wanted a friend to go with and she
had wanted a friend to go with and she wasn’t available and the other friend
wasn’t available and the other friend
wasn’t available and the other friend wasn’t available in the saddest part is
wasn’t available in the saddest part is
wasn’t available in the saddest part is I was always the go-to person if you
I was always the go-to person if you
I was always the go-to person if you needed something fixed salted mended
needed something fixed salted mended
needed something fixed salted mended legal advice photography it doesn’t
legal advice photography it doesn’t
legal advice photography it doesn’t matter I was the go-to person and all of
matter I was the go-to person and all of
matter I was the go-to person and all of a sudden the go-to person didn’t have a
a sudden the go-to person didn’t have a
a sudden the go-to person didn’t have a go-to person and I phoned a friend of
go-to person and I phoned a friend of
go-to person and I phoned a friend of Mines domestic Lizzy because I i sat on
Mines domestic Lizzy because I i sat on
Mines domestic Lizzy because I i sat on the curb I am absolutely shell-shocked
the curb I am absolutely shell-shocked
the curb I am absolutely shell-shocked and speak about an ice bucket challenge
and speak about an ice bucket challenge
and speak about an ice bucket challenge that is the feeling that that happens to
that is the feeling that that happens to
that is the feeling that that happens to you when you’ve just been told you’ve
you when you’ve just been told you’ve
you when you’ve just been told you’ve got stage two cancer and I went and sat
got stage two cancer and I went and sat
got stage two cancer and I went and sat on the curb next to my car and the car
on the curb next to my car and the car
on the curb next to my car and the car God was still trying to go a nice hit
God was still trying to go a nice hit
God was still trying to go a nice hit him listen but not today and I phoned
him listen but not today and I phoned
him listen but not today and I phoned Lizzy and I said to her Lizzy I have
Lizzy and I said to her Lizzy I have
Lizzy and I said to her Lizzy I have cancer she turned around and she said to
cancer she turned around and she said to
cancer she turned around and she said to me in her simple infinite wisdom I want
me in her simple infinite wisdom I want
me in her simple infinite wisdom I want more tea what are you going to die
more tea what are you going to die
more tea what are you going to die and it’s that are you going to die let’s
and it’s that are you going to die let’s
and it’s that are you going to die let’s switch something in my mind I needed and
switch something in my mind I needed and
switch something in my mind I needed and that is was part of God’s plan that
that is was part of God’s plan that
that is was part of God’s plan that there was no go-to person because none
there was no go-to person because none
there was no go-to person because none of my go-to people would have been that
of my go-to people would have been that
of my go-to people would have been that honest with me okay because that’s what
honest with me okay because that’s what
honest with me okay because that’s what Cindy needs and he doesn’t need pompe
Cindy needs and he doesn’t need pompe
Cindy needs and he doesn’t need pompe longing she needs that hard reality to
longing she needs that hard reality to
longing she needs that hard reality to say I Cornell is he ah-me me Rena I’m
say I Cornell is he ah-me me Rena I’m
say I Cornell is he ah-me me Rena I’m not going to die there’s still lots that
not going to die there’s still lots that
not going to die there’s still lots that I need to do but it was and it still is
I need to do but it was and it still is
I need to do but it was and it still is a very very very difficult journey I had
a very very very difficult journey I had
a very very very difficult journey I had the bilateral mastectomy on the fourth
the bilateral mastectomy on the fourth
the bilateral mastectomy on the fourth of September 2014 and you try and recall
of September 2014 and you try and recall
of September 2014 and you try and recall when you come out of the theater what
when you come out of the theater what
when you come out of the theater what all happened because you’ve not just
all happened because you’ve not just
all happened because you’ve not just lost some of your body bits some
lost some of your body bits some
lost some of your body bits some important body birds somebody bits that
important body birds somebody bits that
important body birds somebody bits that i was very attached to and in the early
i was very attached to and in the early
i was very attached to and in the early hours of that night they came to change
hours of that night they came to change
hours of that night they came to change the paint drip and I’ll I thinking what
the paint drip and I’ll I thinking what
the paint drip and I’ll I thinking what now I’m going to survive this come come
now I’m going to survive this come come
now I’m going to survive this come come hell or high water I’m going to
hell or high water I’m going to
hell or high water I’m going to survivors and for the first time in many
survivors and for the first time in many
survivors and for the first time in many years I heard God’s voice and he said to
years I heard God’s voice and he said to
years I heard God’s voice and he said to me I have carried you for so many years
me I have carried you for so many years
me I have carried you for so many years and I will continue to carry you because
and I will continue to carry you because
and I will continue to carry you because your work is not done yet so it was
your work is not done yet so it was
your work is not done yet so it was something that Lizzie said hearing God’s
something that Lizzie said hearing God’s
something that Lizzie said hearing God’s voice that really kicked my butt bump
voice that really kicked my butt bump
voice that really kicked my butt bump into shape and said we’re going to sort
into shape and said we’re going to sort
into shape and said we’re going to sort this so I decided the word chemotherapy
this so I decided the word chemotherapy
this so I decided the word chemotherapy the word cancer these are harsh words
the word cancer these are harsh words
the word cancer these are harsh words these are words that people here and I
these are words that people here and I
these are words that people here and I put F Bob on speed dial because you’re
put F Bob on speed dial because you’re
put F Bob on speed dial because you’re going to die it’s dead sentence it’s not
going to die it’s dead sentence it’s not
going to die it’s dead sentence it’s not because medicine does fifty percent
the rest of the fifty percent is up to
the rest of the fifty percent is up to you it’s up to your attitude you have to
you it’s up to your attitude you have to
you it’s up to your attitude you have to throw out all of those belief systems
throw out all of those belief systems
throw out all of those belief systems all of the yesterday all of the hood
all of the yesterday all of the hood
all of the yesterday all of the hood because there’s no space for that
because there’s no space for that
because there’s no space for that anymore when you’re fighting a terminal
anymore when you’re fighting a terminal
anymore when you’re fighting a terminal disease so I looked at this whole thing
disease so I looked at this whole thing
disease so I looked at this whole thing and I said one or two things happens in
and I said one or two things happens in
and I said one or two things happens in my life if I’m very stressed I see the
my life if I’m very stressed I see the
my life if I’m very stressed I see the human everything and everything is funny
human everything and everything is funny
human everything and everything is funny or the other side is I become very
or the other side is I become very
or the other side is I become very withdrawn and this time I realized I
withdrawn and this time I realized I
withdrawn and this time I realized I can’t become withdrawn I need my friends
can’t become withdrawn I need my friends
can’t become withdrawn I need my friends I need my family I need my god and for
I need my family I need my god and for
I need my family I need my god and for the first time I’m not particularly good
the first time I’m not particularly good
the first time I’m not particularly good at asking people for help and for the
at asking people for help and for the
at asking people for help and for the first time I put my hand up to say I
first time I put my hand up to say I
first time I put my hand up to say I need help i need help in the hours of
need help i need help in the hours of
need help i need help in the hours of the night when your mind races I need
the night when your mind races I need
the night when your mind races I need help to cook for me when I can’t cook
help to cook for me when I can’t cook
help to cook for me when I can’t cook for myself but I I changed my approach
for myself but I I changed my approach
for myself but I I changed my approach and I named chemotherapy happy hour I’ll
and I named chemotherapy happy hour I’ll
and I named chemotherapy happy hour I’ll tell you why who’s never had a hangover
tell you why who’s never had a hangover
tell you why who’s never had a hangover in this room before oh ok temper so
in this room before oh ok temper so
in this room before oh ok temper so that’s a bit of a problem ok but since
that’s a bit of a problem ok but since
that’s a bit of a problem ok but since i’m speaking to ninety-five percent of
i’m speaking to ninety-five percent of
i’m speaking to ninety-five percent of the audience take any hang over you’ve
the audience take any hang over you’ve
the audience take any hang over you’ve ever had and amplified by tin because
ever had and amplified by tin because
ever had and amplified by tin because that’s what you feel like two or three
that’s what you feel like two or three
that’s what you feel like two or three days after you’ve had chemotherapy ok so
days after you’ve had chemotherapy ok so
days after you’ve had chemotherapy ok so we started off the first one quite sir
we started off the first one quite sir
we started off the first one quite sir wonderfully we had strawberry daiquiri
wonderfully we had strawberry daiquiri
wonderfully we had strawberry daiquiri and then we moved on to a pina colada
and then we moved on to a pina colada
and then we moved on to a pina colada and these sessions were three weeks
and these sessions were three weeks
and these sessions were three weeks apart and we had a mojito and number
apart and we had a mojito and number
apart and we had a mojito and number four was particularly bad because that’s
four was particularly bad because that’s
four was particularly bad because that’s when all of these chemicals in your body
when all of these chemicals in your body
when all of these chemicals in your body start to compound you’re very weak your
start to compound you’re very weak your
start to compound you’re very weak your immune system is absolutely and utterly
immune system is absolutely and utterly
immune system is absolutely and utterly depleted and there’s a shooter called
depleted and there’s a shooter called
depleted and there’s a shooter called the sweatin toilet
the sweatin toilet
the sweatin toilet and I hate that cheater it’s slam and
and I hate that cheater it’s slam and
and I hate that cheater it’s slam and it’s not nice and chemo number five was
it’s not nice and chemo number five was
it’s not nice and chemo number five was six on the beach and the last one was
six on the beach and the last one was
six on the beach and the last one was champagne keema because that was the
champagne keema because that was the
champagne keema because that was the last one but that was not the end of the
last one but that was not the end of the
last one but that was not the end of the journey radiation still lay ahead of me
journey radiation still lay ahead of me
journey radiation still lay ahead of me radiation is a journey on its own so the
radiation is a journey on its own so the
radiation is a journey on its own so the first day that I had to go into the
first day that I had to go into the
first day that I had to go into the radiation room who lie there to be
radiation room who lie there to be
radiation room who lie there to be recalled your upper body is obviously
recalled your upper body is obviously
recalled your upper body is obviously naked and you lie and is this
naked and you lie and is this
naked and you lie and is this monstrosity of a thing at the back of
monstrosity of a thing at the back of
monstrosity of a thing at the back of you and there’s a robot system in the
you and there’s a robot system in the
you and there’s a robot system in the roof that goes from green which means
roof that goes from green which means
roof that goes from green which means that the Ray there’s no radioactivity
that the Ray there’s no radioactivity
that the Ray there’s no radioactivity nothing is active then there’s an amber
nothing is active then there’s an amber
nothing is active then there’s an amber light and goes barb barb up and then the
light and goes barb barb up and then the
light and goes barb barb up and then the Machine starts to initiate and then read
Machine starts to initiate and then read
Machine starts to initiate and then read pub and this and I thought okay I have
pub and this and I thought okay I have
pub and this and I thought okay I have an imagination it’s I’m install walls so
an imagination it’s I’m install walls so
an imagination it’s I’m install walls so I call this my glow-in-the-dark therapy
I call this my glow-in-the-dark therapy
I call this my glow-in-the-dark therapy because believe you of believing me
because believe you of believing me
because believe you of believing me after three weeks you start to glow in
after three weeks you start to glow in
after three weeks you start to glow in the dark it becomes very painful but the
the dark it becomes very painful but the
the dark it becomes very painful but the other most difficult thing for me during
other most difficult thing for me during
other most difficult thing for me during this journey was losing my hair okay but
this journey was losing my hair okay but
this journey was losing my hair okay but even that I took a step back and I asked
even that I took a step back and I asked
even that I took a step back and I asked my friends how do you want to get
my friends how do you want to get
my friends how do you want to get involved so when my hair started to fall
involved so when my hair started to fall
involved so when my hair started to fall art they had a shave athan at my house
art they had a shave athan at my house
art they had a shave athan at my house and I called it the bald and the
and I called it the bald and the
and I called it the bald and the beautiful and I called myself baldilocks
beautiful and I called myself baldilocks
beautiful and I called myself baldilocks so for the entire duration of my
so for the entire duration of my
so for the entire duration of my chemotherapy I was baldilocks and I wall
chemotherapy I was baldilocks and I wall
chemotherapy I was baldilocks and I wall my head my Baldy head with pride and we
my head my Baldy head with pride and we
my head my Baldy head with pride and we used to have photo sessions like these
used to have photo sessions like these
used to have photo sessions like these because it was important for me to exit
because it was important for me to exit
because it was important for me to exit the person I had become during this
the person I had become during this
the person I had become during this transition phase okay
transition phase okay
transition phase okay so what does my tomorrow look like I
finished my script the movie called
finished my script the movie called Adams OBE at the time that I was feeling
Adams OBE at the time that I was feeling
Adams OBE at the time that I was feeling at my worst where I could hardly stay up
at my worst where I could hardly stay up
at my worst where I could hardly stay up straight for two hours I forced myself
straight for two hours I forced myself
straight for two hours I forced myself to write because there was an
to write because there was an
to write because there was an authenticity in my emotions that was
authenticity in my emotions that was
authenticity in my emotions that was never before they I used to be quite
never before they I used to be quite
never before they I used to be quite arrogant but there was all of a sudden
arrogant but there was all of a sudden
arrogant but there was all of a sudden the humbleness and an authenticity that
the humbleness and an authenticity that
the humbleness and an authenticity that came through and my writing that was
came through and my writing that was
came through and my writing that was never ever there before and I realized
never ever there before and I realized
never ever there before and I realized that I had been given a second chance in
that I had been given a second chance in
that I had been given a second chance in life up and call my cancer diagnosis I
life up and call my cancer diagnosis I
life up and call my cancer diagnosis I was living a life a success I was
was living a life a success I was
was living a life a success I was chasing the worldly stuff I was chasing
chasing the worldly stuff I was chasing
chasing the worldly stuff I was chasing that that gives us status but at the
that that gives us status but at the
that that gives us status but at the same time I was chasing that that almost
same time I was chasing that that almost
same time I was chasing that that almost destroyed me and I said that if I
destroyed me and I said that if I
destroyed me and I said that if I survive I will live a life of
survive I will live a life of
survive I will live a life of significance where I do not serve self
significance where I do not serve self
significance where I do not serve self but the people around me so am I
but the people around me so am I
but the people around me so am I tomorrow is seeing my movie a seeing key
tomorrow is seeing my movie a seeing key
tomorrow is seeing my movie a seeing key legislative changes take place two
legislative changes take place two
legislative changes take place two species protect our animals and our
species protect our animals and our
species protect our animals and our planet and including ourselves to see
planet and including ourselves to see
planet and including ourselves to see key legislation changes around plastic
key legislation changes around plastic
key legislation changes around plastic and plastic on consumerism to drive
and plastic on consumerism to drive
and plastic on consumerism to drive children’s theatre because there can be
children’s theatre because there can be
children’s theatre because there can be no conservation without education so
no conservation without education so
no conservation without education so there is so much that still needs to be
there is so much that still needs to be
there is so much that still needs to be done that this is not the end of my
done that this is not the end of my
done that this is not the end of my journey this is more or less what I look
journey this is more or less what I look
journey this is more or less what I look like today but for the first time in my
like today but for the first time in my
like today but for the first time in my life I see the rainbows I can walk in
life I see the rainbows I can walk in
life I see the rainbows I can walk in the rain I can admire the sunsets I
the rain I can admire the sunsets I
the rain I can admire the sunsets I believe in myself because I don’t have
believe in myself because I don’t have
believe in myself because I don’t have to prove
to prove
to prove anything to anybody anymore there will
anything to anybody anymore there will
anything to anybody anymore there will always be another mountain it’s not
always be another mountain it’s not
always be another mountain it’s not about what’s waiting on the other side
about what’s waiting on the other side
about what’s waiting on the other side ladies it’s about the journey it’s about
ladies it’s about the journey it’s about
ladies it’s about the journey it’s about hope it’s about tomorrow so it isn’t a
hope it’s about tomorrow so it isn’t a
hope it’s about tomorrow so it isn’t a time that you embrace tomorrow and pack
time that you embrace tomorrow and pack
time that you embrace tomorrow and pack the designer really full of the
the designer really full of the
the designer really full of the heartache that we’ve put in little boxes
heartache that we’ve put in little boxes
heartache that we’ve put in little boxes and compartmentalized and nurture so
and compartmentalized and nurture so
and compartmentalized and nurture so lovingly oh look my divorce oh look this
lovingly oh look my divorce oh look this
lovingly oh look my divorce oh look this and take our dreams and our hope out of
and take our dreams and our hope out of
and take our dreams and our hope out of the trash and take the rubbish that’s in
the trash and take the rubbish that’s in
the trash and take the rubbish that’s in the designer suitcase and put that into
the designer suitcase and put that into
the designer suitcase and put that into the trash and take your dreams your
the trash and take your dreams your
the trash and take your dreams your aspirations and look at your tomorrow
aspirations and look at your tomorrow
aspirations and look at your tomorrow thank you very much
”
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