Masculinity and Vulnerability in Ethical Crisis | Daniel Ammon | TEDxSJFC

I went to an all-boys oh and when they

I went to an all-boys oh and when they expect like I did that the social

expect like I did that the social

expect like I did that the social environment there would be a kind of

environment there would be a kind of

environment there would be a kind of Darwinian survival with fittest a real

Darwinian survival with fittest a real

Darwinian survival with fittest a real macho type deal but when I found there

macho type deal but when I found there

macho type deal but when I found there was the unspoken acknowledgment that

was the unspoken acknowledgment that

was the unspoken acknowledgment that each and every one of us suffered and

each and every one of us suffered and

each and every one of us suffered and that got support of equality in the

that got support of equality in the

that got support of equality in the social sphere of this school and even

social sphere of this school and even

social sphere of this school and even hierarchies were rendered ridiculous

hierarchies were rendered ridiculous

hierarchies were rendered ridiculous anyone could talk to anyone about any

anyone could talk to anyone about any

anyone could talk to anyone about any problem people well I think this is

problem people well I think this is

problem people well I think this is anomalous because in America mental

anomalous because in America mental

anomalous because in America mental vulnerability is not condemned rather

vulnerability is not condemned rather

vulnerability is not condemned rather when a boy expresses emotion any sort

when a boy expresses emotion any sort

when a boy expresses emotion any sort from piety to joy to melancholy epithets

from piety to joy to melancholy epithets

from piety to joy to melancholy epithets are Thrones masculinity is calling the

are Thrones masculinity is calling the

are Thrones masculinity is calling the questions in socialized to not say do

questions in socialized to not say do

questions in socialized to not say do not express those feelings again and

not express those feelings again and

not express those feelings again and it’s not just other men other man we all

it’s not just other men other man we all

it’s not just other men other man we all do it to each other it’s just any norm

do it to each other it’s just any norm

do it to each other it’s just any norm that’s been held up for a while and on

that’s been held up for a while and on

that’s been held up for a while and on top of this mass media enforces those

top of this mass media enforces those

top of this mass media enforces those roles back on tools take for example the

roles back on tools take for example the

roles back on tools take for example the film taxi driver in the film protagonist

film taxi driver in the film protagonist

film taxi driver in the film protagonist Travis Bickle in response to his long

Travis Bickle in response to his long

Travis Bickle in response to his long list of woes and troubles by killing

list of woes and troubles by killing

list of woes and troubles by killing people I mean it’s it the message is

people I mean it’s it the message is

people I mean it’s it the message is clear you hate your old lady kicks you

clear you hate your old lady kicks you

clear you hate your old lady kicks you out of the house hurt something you have

out of the house hurt something you have

out of the house hurt something you have long lists of deaths hurt yourself

the fact that matter is that I’m not

the fact that matter is that I’m not quite surprised why America was was

quite surprised why America was was

quite surprised why America was was shocked when a man inspired my taxi

shocked when a man inspired my taxi

shocked when a man inspired my taxi driver shot President Ronald Reagan I’m

driver shot President Ronald Reagan I’m

driver shot President Ronald Reagan I’m not sure why America was surprised again

not sure why America was surprised again

not sure why America was surprised again when this the band Devo requested lyric

when this the band Devo requested lyric

when this the band Devo requested lyric requested a poem to put the song from

requested a poem to put the song from

requested a poem to put the song from this very would-be assassin this cycle

this very would-be assassin this cycle

this very would-be assassin this cycle of pop culture to violence into pop

of pop culture to violence into pop

of pop culture to violence into pop culture again is what Peggy Noonan calls

culture again is what Peggy Noonan calls

culture again is what Peggy Noonan calls the cycle with the culture of death in

the cycle with the culture of death in

the cycle with the culture of death in her famous column she says that kids are

her famous column she says that kids are

her famous column she says that kids are fish swimming in the ocean of culture

fish swimming in the ocean of culture

fish swimming in the ocean of culture but in America that ocean is poisoned I

purposely checked the news today before

purposely checked the news today before I came here and I turned on the

I came here and I turned on the

I came here and I turned on the television and on the news all you could

television and on the news all you could

television and on the news all you could see were news death suicide everything

see were news death suicide everything

see were news death suicide everything that was the only thing that made

that was the only thing that made

that was the only thing that made headlines I turned on the TV there’s a

headlines I turned on the TV there’s a

headlines I turned on the TV there’s a law-and-order episode about school

law-and-order episode about school

law-and-order episode about school shooting why is the question and the

shooting why is the question and the

shooting why is the question and the fact of the matter is when you live an

fact of the matter is when you live an

fact of the matter is when you live an emotionally stunted man from it the

emotionally stunted man from it the

emotionally stunted man from it the culture that repressed emotions you feed

culture that repressed emotions you feed

culture that repressed emotions you feed his wounds the very norms that we hold

his wounds the very norms that we hold

his wounds the very norms that we hold up to our children feed violence and

up to our children feed violence and

up to our children feed violence and misogyny and I think we can fix this the

misogyny and I think we can fix this the

misogyny and I think we can fix this the fact that matter is the philosopher

fact that matter is the philosopher

fact that matter is the philosopher Plato said that man soul is of three

Plato said that man soul is of three

Plato said that man soul is of three tears first there’s reason then there’s

tears first there’s reason then there’s

tears first there’s reason then there’s emotion then there’s appetite and he

emotion then there’s appetite and he

emotion then there’s appetite and he gives the parable of a man in a chariot

gives the parable of a man in a chariot

gives the parable of a man in a chariot the man is reason and two horses are

the man is reason and two horses are

the man is reason and two horses are emotion emotion and data type and reason

emotion emotion and data type and reason

emotion emotion and data type and reason is supposed to

is supposed to

is supposed to strike a balance between these two

strike a balance between these two

strike a balance between these two horses in order for the chariot to ride

horses in order for the chariot to ride

horses in order for the chariot to ride smoothly the fact matter in America we

smoothly the fact matter in America we

smoothly the fact matter in America we slaughtered the emotional horse for men

slaughtered the emotional horse for men

slaughtered the emotional horse for men so we have reason in a chariot with

so we have reason in a chariot with

so we have reason in a chariot with appetite bringing him bringing this man

appetite bringing him bringing this man

appetite bringing him bringing this man wherever you want started in

wherever you want started in

wherever you want started in conversation and with ourselves we need

conversation and with ourselves we need

conversation and with ourselves we need to start doing rationally with our

to start doing rationally with our

to start doing rationally with our emotions when a man or a boy is feeling

emotions when a man or a boy is feeling

emotions when a man or a boy is feeling emotional the best thing we can do is

emotional the best thing we can do is

emotional the best thing we can do is dialogue with them talk to them about

dialogue with them talk to them about

dialogue with them talk to them about what’s going on and you do not shame

what’s going on and you do not shame

what’s going on and you do not shame that this isn’t going to happen

that this isn’t going to happen

that this isn’t going to happen overnight and I think we need some role

overnight and I think we need some role

overnight and I think we need some role models to hold up for us to achieve our

models to hold up for us to achieve our

models to hold up for us to achieve our goal I think well the best moral miles

goal I think well the best moral miles

goal I think well the best moral miles we have right now is the actor Nick

we have right now is the actor Nick

we have right now is the actor Nick Offerman some of you may know him from

Offerman some of you may know him from

Offerman some of you may know him from the NBC show Parks and Recreation in

the NBC show Parks and Recreation in

the NBC show Parks and Recreation in this show he’s a libertarian man’s man

this show he’s a libertarian man’s man

this show he’s a libertarian man’s man he loves me he loves limited government

he loves me he loves limited government

he loves me he loves limited government he loves outdoors woodwork finally grew

he loves outdoors woodwork finally grew

he loves outdoors woodwork finally grew facial hair the works this has been the

facial hair the works this has been the

facial hair the works this has been the norm of American men since the inception

norm of American men since the inception

norm of American men since the inception of our republics and that’s great I’m

of our republics and that’s great I’m

of our republics and that’s great I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with

not saying there’s anything wrong with

not saying there’s anything wrong with that

that

that some of these aspects are based on

some of these aspects are based on

some of these aspects are based on Offerman himself but he said something

Offerman himself but he said something

Offerman himself but he said something recently in an interview with men’s

recently in an interview with men’s

recently in an interview with men’s health that really explained how we can

health that really explained how we can

health that really explained how we can reconcile this process and the fact that

reconcile this process and the fact that

reconcile this process and the fact that matter is he said that you can be a

matter is he said that you can be a

matter is he said that you can be a macho man you can be a very a man very

macho man you can be a very a man very

macho man you can be a very a man very much

much

much raises gender identity but you have to

raises gender identity but you have to

raises gender identity but you have to deal with that human emotion inside you

deal with that human emotion inside you

deal with that human emotion inside you that isn’t gendered it’s not masculine

that isn’t gendered it’s not masculine

that isn’t gendered it’s not masculine or feminine it just is

or feminine it just is

or feminine it just is in his words it’s a more masculine

in his words it’s a more masculine

in his words it’s a more masculine stance to take to embrace one’s emotions

stance to take to embrace one’s emotions

stance to take to embrace one’s emotions than to bury them I think once this

than to bury them I think once this

than to bury them I think once this message is internalized in the American

message is internalized in the American

message is internalized in the American public things are going to change we’re

public things are going to change we’re

public things are going to change we’re going to be able to talk reasonably

going to be able to talk reasonably

going to be able to talk reasonably about the objective existence and

about the objective existence and

about the objective existence and emotions in all human beings and I think

emotions in all human beings and I think

emotions in all human beings and I think that in an emotionally open society the

that in an emotionally open society the

that in an emotionally open society the culture of death will recede because the

culture of death will recede because the

culture of death will recede because the fact of the matter is is that when you

fact of the matter is is that when you

fact of the matter is is that when you have an emotionally open culture

have an emotionally open culture

have an emotionally open culture violence becomes unsellable this starts

violence becomes unsellable this starts

violence becomes unsellable this starts with me the start of you talking to

with me the start of you talking to

with me the start of you talking to people rationally dealing with your

people rationally dealing with your

people rationally dealing with your emotions rationally it really starts

emotions rationally it really starts

emotions rationally it really starts when a man opens himself up to his very

when a man opens himself up to his very

when a man opens himself up to his very humanity