[Music] early morning 28 December 2014 our mind
early morning 28 December 2014 our mind
early morning 28 December 2014 our mind gong-gong went to pick up daddy Mme from
gong-gong went to pick up daddy Mme from
gong-gong went to pick up daddy Mme from the airport I was getting ready for cold
the airport I was getting ready for cold
the airport I was getting ready for cold food we got into the car mommy told me
food we got into the car mommy told me
food we got into the car mommy told me that Daddy and maymay haven’t arrived
that Daddy and maymay haven’t arrived
that Daddy and maymay haven’t arrived the plane was late two things could have
the plane was late two things could have
the plane was late two things could have happened to the plane one it could have
happened to the plane one it could have
happened to the plane one it could have been taken over by some bad guys too
been taken over by some bad guys too
been taken over by some bad guys too it could have crushed the rest is
it could have crushed the rest is
it could have crushed the rest is history in the 14 years that she went
history in the 14 years that she went
history in the 14 years that she went and I were together he never once left
and I were together he never once left
and I were together he never once left me wondering where he was or what he was
me wondering where he was or what he was
me wondering where he was or what he was doing who Clara and I lost half our
doing who Clara and I lost half our
doing who Clara and I lost half our family I was lost and I was a total mess
family I was lost and I was a total mess
family I was lost and I was a total mess I looked at myself in the mirror and I
I looked at myself in the mirror and I
I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw an image that looked like me
saw an image that looked like me
saw an image that looked like me but I had no idea who the person was I
but I had no idea who the person was I
but I had no idea who the person was I couldn’t recognize myself physically I’d
couldn’t recognize myself physically I’d
couldn’t recognize myself physically I’d lost about 7 kilos or more for a good
lost about 7 kilos or more for a good
lost about 7 kilos or more for a good six months after the accident I moved my
six months after the accident I moved my
six months after the accident I moved my paces on the chess board of life only
paces on the chess board of life only
paces on the chess board of life only with uncertainty I lost all
with uncertainty I lost all
with uncertainty I lost all self-confidence of course
I couldn’t get out of bed I would just
I couldn’t get out of bed I would just cry but I knew one thing I knew that
cry but I knew one thing I knew that
cry but I knew one thing I knew that crying alone wasn’t going to take him
crying alone wasn’t going to take him
crying alone wasn’t going to take him anywhere and it certainly wasn’t going
anywhere and it certainly wasn’t going
anywhere and it certainly wasn’t going to change anything I knew I had to be a
to change anything I knew I had to be a
to change anything I knew I had to be a sane individual to myself and then a
sane individual to myself and then a
sane individual to myself and then a mother to Luca the vision was and still
mother to Luca the vision was and still
mother to Luca the vision was and still remains clear to me I will build a
remains clear to me I will build a
remains clear to me I will build a positive life for Luca and I and I’m
positive life for Luca and I and I’m
positive life for Luca and I and I’m determined to make mojitos of the lemons
determined to make mojitos of the lemons
determined to make mojitos of the lemons I’ve been dealt I define the purpose a
I’ve been dealt I define the purpose a
I’ve been dealt I define the purpose a purpose to myself a purpose in Luca to
purpose to myself a purpose in Luca to
purpose to myself a purpose in Luca to friends and family and cheechee months
friends and family and cheechee months
friends and family and cheechee months employers and colleagues I didn’t know
employers and colleagues I didn’t know
employers and colleagues I didn’t know how I was gonna do it I didn’t know how
how I was gonna do it I didn’t know how
how I was gonna do it I didn’t know how long it would take and I certainly
long it would take and I certainly
long it would take and I certainly didn’t know what the journey was going
didn’t know what the journey was going
didn’t know what the journey was going to look like
I have no words to describe the loss
I have no words to describe the loss except that left a deep hole a very deep
except that left a deep hole a very deep
except that left a deep hole a very deep hole Simon’s body was only found in
hole Simon’s body was only found in
hole Simon’s body was only found in February six weeks after the accident
February six weeks after the accident
February six weeks after the accident these six weeks such as he felt like an
these six weeks such as he felt like an
these six weeks such as he felt like an eternity Zoe’s body was never found
eternity Zoe’s body was never found
eternity Zoe’s body was never found and I had to find a way to keep my
and I had to find a way to keep my
and I had to find a way to keep my sanity I started seeing my psychiatrist
sanity I started seeing my psychiatrist
sanity I started seeing my psychiatrist three weeks after the accident for 18
three weeks after the accident for 18
three weeks after the accident for 18 months I saw her once a week and now I
months I saw her once a week and now I
months I saw her once a week and now I still see her once a month without dr.
still see her once a month without dr.
still see her once a month without dr. Pam emotionally and psychologically I
Pam emotionally and psychologically I
Pam emotionally and psychologically I certainly but we eyesight as certainly
certainly but we eyesight as certainly
certainly but we eyesight as certainly wouldn’t be psychologically and
wouldn’t be psychologically and
wouldn’t be psychologically and emotionally where I am today the
emotionally where I am today the
emotionally where I am today the accident catapulted me 20 years back to
accident catapulted me 20 years back to
accident catapulted me 20 years back to the starting point of my adult life I’ve
the starting point of my adult life I’ve
the starting point of my adult life I’ve had to redefine myself rebuild my career
had to redefine myself rebuild my career
had to redefine myself rebuild my career financially provide for Luca and I be
financially provide for Luca and I be
financially provide for Luca and I be both mother and father to him establish
both mother and father to him establish
both mother and father to him establish a new normal create new traditions in
a new normal create new traditions in
a new normal create new traditions in our new household for two
thinking through the journey and doing a
thinking through the journey and doing a little bit of research of how one
little bit of research of how one
little bit of research of how one defines life purpose the questions came
defines life purpose the questions came
defines life purpose the questions came to the fore Who am I what do I do
to the fore Who am I what do I do
to the fore Who am I what do I do who do I do it for what do they want or
who do I do it for what do they want or
who do I do it for what do they want or need and what do they get out of it
let’s look at these through my
let’s look at these through my interaction with three distinct groups
interaction with three distinct groups
interaction with three distinct groups with family with friends and through
with family with friends and through
with family with friends and through work with family we all know that family
work with family we all know that family
work with family we all know that family relationships are complex mine is no
relationships are complex mine is no
relationships are complex mine is no different
different
different nonetheless they have been the pillars
nonetheless they have been the pillars
nonetheless they have been the pillars of support to Luca and I never doubt
of support to Luca and I never doubt
of support to Luca and I never doubt your family to do so interaction with
your family to do so interaction with
your family to do so interaction with friends those closest and dearest to new
friends those closest and dearest to new
friends those closest and dearest to new know me well and they know that I’m
know me well and they know that I’m
know me well and they know that I’m terrible at asking for help
terrible at asking for help
terrible at asking for help and because of this they’ve either
and because of this they’ve either
and because of this they’ve either stepped in or step forward from taking
stepped in or step forward from taking
stepped in or step forward from taking over and delivering the most beautiful
over and delivering the most beautiful
over and delivering the most beautiful and elegant memorial service for chi’lan
and elegant memorial service for chi’lan
and elegant memorial service for chi’lan and Zoe – coming around now weekly to
and Zoe – coming around now weekly to
and Zoe – coming around now weekly to help Luca with his homework they take
help Luca with his homework they take
help Luca with his homework they take him to tooth football and they’re taking
him to tooth football and they’re taking
him to tooth football and they’re taking to touch rugby and friends take Luca for
to touch rugby and friends take Luca for
to touch rugby and friends take Luca for weeks on end during his school holidays
weeks on end during his school holidays
weeks on end during his school holidays Simon and I invested in our friendships
Simon and I invested in our friendships
Simon and I invested in our friendships those closest to him trusted in with
those closest to him trusted in with
those closest to him trusted in with their lives in fact this was one of many
their lives in fact this was one of many
their lives in fact this was one of many qualities about him I fell in love with
qualities about him I fell in love with
qualities about him I fell in love with we have old and dear friends of 25 years
we have old and dear friends of 25 years
we have old and dear friends of 25 years and more Luca now builds his friendship
and more Luca now builds his friendship
and more Luca now builds his friendship with these friends it’s extremely
with these friends it’s extremely
with these friends it’s extremely important and my aim is of course should
important and my aim is of course should
important and my aim is of course should anything happen to I to me that Luca
anything happen to I to me that Luca
anything happen to I to me that Luca will never be alone and he would never
will never be alone and he would never
will never be alone and he would never feel helpless
recalling the questions of how one
recalling the questions of how one defines life purpose who I am what I do
defines life purpose who I am what I do
defines life purpose who I am what I do who do I do it for what do they want
who do I do it for what do they want
who do I do it for what do they want what do they get out of it
what do they get out of it
what do they get out of it these walk both ways let your friends
these walk both ways let your friends
these walk both ways let your friends step in and help they too are envelopes
step in and help they too are envelopes
step in and help they too are envelopes and grief and sadness I very quickly
and grief and sadness I very quickly
and grief and sadness I very quickly realized that the more I kept silent the
realized that the more I kept silent the
realized that the more I kept silent the more they would worry the more I
more they would worry the more I
more they would worry the more I distanced myself the more they cried
distanced myself the more they cried
distanced myself the more they cried allowing them to step in and helping is
allowing them to step in and helping is
allowing them to step in and helping is an extremely powerful way of assisting
an extremely powerful way of assisting
an extremely powerful way of assisting them and helping them grieve and heal
them and helping them grieve and heal
them and helping them grieve and heal the act of contributing and playing a
the act of contributing and playing a
the act of contributing and playing a role to rebuild lives is extremely
role to rebuild lives is extremely
role to rebuild lives is extremely cathartic and you know what it’s okay to
cathartic and you know what it’s okay to
cathartic and you know what it’s okay to feel vulnerable the grace of receiving
feel vulnerable the grace of receiving
feel vulnerable the grace of receiving allowing vulnerability to show it’s a
allowing vulnerability to show it’s a
allowing vulnerability to show it’s a most humbling experience but beyond that
most humbling experience but beyond that
most humbling experience but beyond that it’s a simple and beautiful way of
it’s a simple and beautiful way of
it’s a simple and beautiful way of assisting those closest to us to heal
interaction with corporate life my work
interaction with corporate life my work at the Museum was really the turning
at the Museum was really the turning
at the Museum was really the turning point of my recovery what did it do for
point of my recovery what did it do for
point of my recovery what did it do for me personally remember that I started
me personally remember that I started
me personally remember that I started with zero self confidence the routine of
with zero self confidence the routine of
with zero self confidence the routine of going back to work we establish
going back to work we establish
going back to work we establish structure in my life to avoid operating
structure in my life to avoid operating
structure in my life to avoid operating in a semi autopilot mode I chose a
in a semi autopilot mode I chose a
in a semi autopilot mode I chose a totally new environment different
totally new environment different
totally new environment different colleagues different mindset different
colleagues different mindset different
colleagues different mindset different stakeholders different demands requiring
stakeholders different demands requiring
stakeholders different demands requiring thinking out-of-the-box learning new
thinking out-of-the-box learning new
thinking out-of-the-box learning new content creating new solutions
everything I had done in my prior career
everything I had done in my prior career of 15 years gave me all the right
of 15 years gave me all the right
of 15 years gave me all the right ammunition for these new challenges
professional success and achievements
professional success and achievements played a big role in rebuilding my
played a big role in rebuilding my
played a big role in rebuilding my confidence I know I still had it and
confidence I know I still had it and
confidence I know I still had it and clearly the proof was in the pudding
raising new funds and revenue to enhance
raising new funds and revenue to enhance our own culture isn’t it it’s an
our own culture isn’t it it’s an
our own culture isn’t it it’s an extremely important cause the Singapore
extremely important cause the Singapore
extremely important cause the Singapore government supported me immediately
government supported me immediately
government supported me immediately after the accident and they brought my
after the accident and they brought my
after the accident and they brought my husband’s body home for these I’m
husband’s body home for these I’m
husband’s body home for these I’m eternally grateful
eternally grateful
eternally grateful I had a national debt to pay and I did
I had a national debt to pay and I did
I had a national debt to pay and I did it Jim and I have always been
it Jim and I have always been
it Jim and I have always been competitive he was my worst critic and I
competitive he was my worst critic and I
competitive he was my worst critic and I in turn certainly kept him on his toes
in turn certainly kept him on his toes
in turn certainly kept him on his toes we often thought about who was actually
we often thought about who was actually
we often thought about who was actually going to die first I know it sounds
going to die first I know it sounds
going to die first I know it sounds ridiculous I would say oh of course I’m
ridiculous I would say oh of course I’m
ridiculous I would say oh of course I’m dying for us I’m not staying behind to
dying for us I’m not staying behind to
dying for us I’m not staying behind to clean up this mess and she would say
clean up this mess and she would say
clean up this mess and she would say Noby I’m dying first you will just pick
Noby I’m dying first you will just pick
Noby I’m dying first you will just pick up the pieces and move on if you die
up the pieces and move on if you die
up the pieces and move on if you die first I would have no idea what to do
first I would have no idea what to do
first I would have no idea what to do without you at the funeral
without you at the funeral
without you at the funeral my final parting words did you mind well
she won you win but you cheated you were
she won you win but you cheated you were never meant to have one this way you
never meant to have one this way you
never meant to have one this way you remember daddy by the jokes he used to
remember daddy by the jokes he used to
remember daddy by the jokes he used to say and do we remember Zoey by reading
say and do we remember Zoey by reading
say and do we remember Zoey by reading her favorite books at bedtime to
her favorite books at bedtime to
her favorite books at bedtime to celebrate daddy’s birthday by singing
celebrate daddy’s birthday by singing
celebrate daddy’s birthday by singing him a happy birthday song
him a happy birthday song
him a happy birthday song we remember Zoey by decorating her a
we remember Zoey by decorating her a
we remember Zoey by decorating her a birthday cake with pink and purple
birthday cake with pink and purple
birthday cake with pink and purple Smarties on them pink was her favorite
Smarties on them pink was her favorite
Smarties on them pink was her favorite color she would only eat the pink and
color she would only eat the pink and
color she would only eat the pink and purple Smarties daddy and Mei Mei are
purple Smarties daddy and Mei Mei are
purple Smarties daddy and Mei Mei are always with us they are always in our
always with us they are always in our
always with us they are always in our hearts
I like to share a short excerpt from a
I like to share a short excerpt from a poem by Henry Scott pollen which
poem by Henry Scott pollen which
poem by Henry Scott pollen which perfectly encapsulates how lucre and I
perfectly encapsulates how lucre and I
perfectly encapsulates how lucre and I and our closest friends keep Chi Minh
and our closest friends keep Chi Minh
and our closest friends keep Chi Minh and Zoey very very close to our hearts
death is nothing at all it does not
death is nothing at all it does not count
count
count I have only slipped away into the next
I have only slipped away into the next
I have only slipped away into the next room nothing has happened everything
room nothing has happened everything
room nothing has happened everything remains exactly as it was I am I and you
remains exactly as it was I am I and you
remains exactly as it was I am I and you are you and the old life that we lived
are you and the old life that we lived
are you and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched
so fondly together is untouched
so fondly together is untouched unchanged whatever we were to each other
that we are still we like to close today
that we are still we like to close today with photos of Luca and I taken in the
with photos of Luca and I taken in the
with photos of Luca and I taken in the last two and a half years we welcome you
last two and a half years we welcome you
last two and a half years we welcome you to continue to progress with us through
to continue to progress with us through
to continue to progress with us through our Facebook page remembering Chi Minh
our Facebook page remembering Chi Minh
our Facebook page remembering Chi Minh and Zoe for now for now this does young
and Zoe for now for now this does young
and Zoe for now for now this does young man this love of my life is proof of how
man this love of my life is proof of how
man this love of my life is proof of how far we’ve come
far we’ve come
far we’ve come [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment