[Music] [Applause]
so there’s a feeling within the Mexican
so there’s a feeling within the Mexican immigrant community that we are living
immigrant community that we are living
immigrant community that we are living in two worlds the American world and the
in two worlds the American world and the
in two worlds the American world and the Mexican world it’s some sort of
Mexican world it’s some sort of
Mexican world it’s some sort of Borderlands you see I never understood
Borderlands you see I never understood
Borderlands you see I never understood there a human could be illegal until I
there a human could be illegal until I
there a human could be illegal until I came to the US as an undocumented
came to the US as an undocumented
came to the US as an undocumented immigrant from Colima Mexico at eight
immigrant from Colima Mexico at eight
immigrant from Colima Mexico at eight years old Spanish is my native language
years old Spanish is my native language
years old Spanish is my native language and suddenly I was thrust into a world
and suddenly I was thrust into a world
and suddenly I was thrust into a world of English in elementary school I spent
of English in elementary school I spent
of English in elementary school I spent a lot of time being angry for not being
a lot of time being angry for not being
a lot of time being angry for not being able and not knowing how to ask for
able and not knowing how to ask for
able and not knowing how to ask for certain simple things like may I go to
certain simple things like may I go to
certain simple things like may I go to the bathroom
the bathroom
the bathroom I would pee my pants often imagine how I
I would pee my pants often imagine how I
I would pee my pants often imagine how I explained that to my parents in middle
explained that to my parents in middle
explained that to my parents in middle school my friends all young boys would
school my friends all young boys would
school my friends all young boys would form a circle in the early mornings
form a circle in the early mornings
form a circle in the early mornings before the Sun had warmed our bodies
before the Sun had warmed our bodies
before the Sun had warmed our bodies before the morning dew had evaporated
before the morning dew had evaporated
before the morning dew had evaporated into mist two at a time we would take
into mist two at a time we would take
into mist two at a time we would take turns catching the bodies bare-knuckle
turns catching the bodies bare-knuckle
turns catching the bodies bare-knuckle boxing hitting each other in the torso
boxing hitting each other in the torso
boxing hitting each other in the torso until someone gave up those of us that
until someone gave up those of us that
until someone gave up those of us that didn’t want to participate were kicked
didn’t want to participate were kicked
didn’t want to participate were kicked out of the circle as a middle schooler I
out of the circle as a middle schooler I
out of the circle as a middle schooler I wanted to be part of this group and I
wanted to be part of this group and I
wanted to be part of this group and I was already the immigrant kid that
was already the immigrant kid that
was already the immigrant kid that didn’t know enough English I wanted to
didn’t know enough English I wanted to
didn’t know enough English I wanted to be accepted and liked I also noticed
be accepted and liked I also noticed
be accepted and liked I also noticed that the bad-boy demeanor was rewarded
that the bad-boy demeanor was rewarded
that the bad-boy demeanor was rewarded and that’s what we are taught as boys to
and that’s what we are taught as boys to
and that’s what we are taught as boys to be aggressive in the face of adversity
be aggressive in the face of adversity
be aggressive in the face of adversity to be this mountain of strength rugged
to be this mountain of strength rugged
to be this mountain of strength rugged and unclaimed abaut to be this rolling
and unclaimed abaut to be this rolling
and unclaimed abaut to be this rolling thunderstorm striking the ground to
thunderstorm striking the ground to
thunderstorm striking the ground to prove our validity as men I wanted to be
prove our validity as men I wanted to be
prove our validity as men I wanted to be recognized respected
recognized respected
recognized respected admired revered I wanted so much so much
admired revered I wanted so much so much
admired revered I wanted so much so much to be feared but I was only 70 pounds
to be feared but I was only 70 pounds
to be feared but I was only 70 pounds skinny and I bruised easily it didn’t
skinny and I bruised easily it didn’t
skinny and I bruised easily it didn’t matter how hard or how fast I swung my
matter how hard or how fast I swung my
matter how hard or how fast I swung my toothpick arms I always gave up first
toothpick arms I always gave up first
toothpick arms I always gave up first their forties by my friends my dreams
their forties by my friends my dreams
their forties by my friends my dreams and aspirations to become this Aztec
and aspirations to become this Aztec
and aspirations to become this Aztec warrior with flames for fists crumbled
warrior with flames for fists crumbled
warrior with flames for fists crumbled very quickly uh in high school I was a
very quickly uh in high school I was a
very quickly uh in high school I was a bar CDI flea taking AP classes but I
bar CDI flea taking AP classes but I
bar CDI flea taking AP classes but I hesitated to look at colleges because I
hesitated to look at colleges because I
hesitated to look at colleges because I didn’t have a piece of plastic with
didn’t have a piece of plastic with
didn’t have a piece of plastic with numbers on it that would allow me the
numbers on it that would allow me the
numbers on it that would allow me the same rights as my American born Pierce
same rights as my American born Pierce
same rights as my American born Pierce you see I had pledged allegiance to the
you see I had pledged allegiance to the
you see I had pledged allegiance to the flag every single day in in grade school
flag every single day in in grade school
flag every single day in in grade school but now this country didn’t want to
but now this country didn’t want to
but now this country didn’t want to support me luckily after ten years of
support me luckily after ten years of
support me luckily after ten years of waiting I received my green card just in
waiting I received my green card just in
waiting I received my green card just in time to attend a small private
time to attend a small private
time to attend a small private university in Oregon as a resident of
university in Oregon as a resident of
university in Oregon as a resident of the US and not a foreign student there I
the US and not a foreign student there I
the US and not a foreign student there I was one of about thirty Latinos in a
was one of about thirty Latinos in a
was one of about thirty Latinos in a school of eighteen hundred students I
school of eighteen hundred students I
school of eighteen hundred students I felt like I had emigrated all over again
felt like I had emigrated all over again
felt like I had emigrated all over again I felt like wind with no resting place
I felt like wind with no resting place
I felt like wind with no resting place like ashes with no fire roots with no
like ashes with no fire roots with no
like ashes with no fire roots with no earth water with no Shortland I kept
earth water with no Shortland I kept
earth water with no Shortland I kept yearning for home yeah my first year
yearning for home yeah my first year
yearning for home yeah my first year there I was at a party and I remember
there I was at a party and I remember
there I was at a party and I remember being upset and visibly frustrated and
being upset and visibly frustrated and
being upset and visibly frustrated and vocal about a situation I think I was
vocal about a situation I think I was
vocal about a situation I think I was trying to reenact my failed attempts to
trying to reenact my failed attempts to
trying to reenact my failed attempts to be this Aztec warrior from middle school
be this Aztec warrior from middle school
be this Aztec warrior from middle school when uh one of my friends one of my
when uh one of my friends one of my
when uh one of my friends one of my white friends turned to me and said it’s
white friends turned to me and said it’s
white friends turned to me and said it’s okay it’s that Latino blood in you
okay it’s that Latino blood in you
okay it’s that Latino blood in you Latino men are feisty and hot-tempered
Latino men are feisty and hot-tempered
Latino men are feisty and hot-tempered you are spicy
in my case everybody stood in silence
in my case everybody stood in silence and I was shocked for two reasons one I
and I was shocked for two reasons one I
and I was shocked for two reasons one I didn’t expect a friend to put me in
didn’t expect a friend to put me in
didn’t expect a friend to put me in today’s into this box and two I had
today’s into this box and two I had
today’s into this box and two I had never heard that stereotype at least not
never heard that stereotype at least not
never heard that stereotype at least not that clearly but I believed them I went
that clearly but I believed them I went
that clearly but I believed them I went through my college career believing what
through my college career believing what
through my college career believing what was said that day
was said that day
was said that day any sign of aggression it was just in my
any sign of aggression it was just in my
any sign of aggression it was just in my blood you see if water can trickle down
blood you see if water can trickle down
blood you see if water can trickle down from the mountains into the ocean
from the mountains into the ocean
from the mountains into the ocean without anything to stop it
without anything to stop it
without anything to stop it how could I change I figured that if my
how could I change I figured that if my
how could I change I figured that if my peers believed the stereotype to be true
peers believed the stereotype to be true
peers believed the stereotype to be true they would understand that I couldn’t do
they would understand that I couldn’t do
they would understand that I couldn’t do anything about my aggressive behavior at
anything about my aggressive behavior at
anything about my aggressive behavior at the same time I also wondered if their
the same time I also wondered if their
the same time I also wondered if their opinion would be any different if I were
opinion would be any different if I were
opinion would be any different if I were white and that’s the burden for us brown
white and that’s the burden for us brown
white and that’s the burden for us brown boys we do not get the benefit of the
boys we do not get the benefit of the
boys we do not get the benefit of the doubt you see we are pushed into this
doubt you see we are pushed into this
doubt you see we are pushed into this box that defines us that hurts us and
box that defines us that hurts us and
box that defines us that hurts us and yes patriarchy sexism has always hurt
yes patriarchy sexism has always hurt
yes patriarchy sexism has always hurt women it has always been used as a tool
women it has always been used as a tool
women it has always been used as a tool to keep women in their place subservient
to keep women in their place subservient
to keep women in their place subservient to men and Here I am a recipient a
to men and Here I am a recipient a
to men and Here I am a recipient a privileged for being male and unknown
privileged for being male and unknown
privileged for being male and unknown and foerster of patriarchy and also
and foerster of patriarchy and also
and foerster of patriarchy and also stuck in a stereotype for being brown
stuck in a stereotype for being brown
stuck in a stereotype for being brown but growing up alongside the men in my
but growing up alongside the men in my
but growing up alongside the men in my family and in my community I began to
family and in my community I began to
family and in my community I began to realize that we are more than the
realize that we are more than the
realize that we are more than the stereotypes my brother yo he’s tall he’s
stereotypes my brother yo he’s tall he’s
stereotypes my brother yo he’s tall he’s loud has tattoos all over his body
but he was never in the gang though most
but he was never in the gang though most of his tattoos are to commemorate
of his tattoos are to commemorate
of his tattoos are to commemorate significant significant events in his
significant significant events in his
significant significant events in his life like the birth of his children and
life like the birth of his children and
life like the birth of his children and the passing of our grandparents he goes
the passing of our grandparents he goes
the passing of our grandparents he goes to work every single day at 4:00 in the
to work every single day at 4:00 in the
to work every single day at 4:00 in the morning comes back and it’s not afraid
morning comes back and it’s not afraid
morning comes back and it’s not afraid to sing lullabies to his children he
to sing lullabies to his children he
to sing lullabies to his children he asked me questions about love
asked me questions about love
asked me questions about love sometimes I answer them other times I
sometimes I answer them other times I
sometimes I answer them other times I feel awkward talking about love to
feel awkward talking about love to
feel awkward talking about love to another man he is the epitome of what it
another man he is the epitome of what it
another man he is the epitome of what it means to be strong delicate and
means to be strong delicate and
means to be strong delicate and vulnerable my uncle he’s reserved but
vulnerable my uncle he’s reserved but
vulnerable my uncle he’s reserved but he’s a lighthouse to many of us he’s a
he’s a lighthouse to many of us he’s a
he’s a lighthouse to many of us he’s a teacher and the professor a mover and a
teacher and the professor a mover and a
teacher and the professor a mover and a shaker
shaker
shaker he gets made fun of every single day for
he gets made fun of every single day for
he gets made fun of every single day for being feminine he was warned by my
being feminine he was warned by my
being feminine he was warned by my family to be careful after our gay
family to be careful after our gay
family to be careful after our gay cousin was murdered my other uncle is
cousin was murdered my other uncle is
cousin was murdered my other uncle is also reserved rarely shares his emotions
also reserved rarely shares his emotions
also reserved rarely shares his emotions but he has built houses from the ground
but he has built houses from the ground
but he has built houses from the ground up houses he will never be able to
up houses he will never be able to
up houses he will never be able to afford no matter how quickly he works or
afford no matter how quickly he works or
afford no matter how quickly he works or how early he arrives at a job site both
how early he arrives at a job site both
how early he arrives at a job site both of these uncle’s I can trust that their
of these uncle’s I can trust that their
of these uncle’s I can trust that their hands will nurture me not hurt me my
hands will nurture me not hurt me my
hands will nurture me not hurt me my stepfather he gives really really
stepfather he gives really really
stepfather he gives really really awkward side hugs
he’s a pretty good cook he also takes
he’s a pretty good cook he also takes her fits two tiny chihuahuas when they
her fits two tiny chihuahuas when they
her fits two tiny chihuahuas when they are sick he he matches up their food
are sick he he matches up their food
are sick he he matches up their food massages their muscles if they are sore
massages their muscles if they are sore
massages their muscles if they are sore he plant flowers tulips and rose bushes
he plant flowers tulips and rose bushes
he plant flowers tulips and rose bushes around the house he may not be the most
around the house he may not be the most
around the house he may not be the most communicative of men but I know exactly
communicative of men but I know exactly
communicative of men but I know exactly what he is saying when I look at his
what he is saying when I look at his
what he is saying when I look at his flowers he is what it means to hold on
flowers he is what it means to hold on
flowers he is what it means to hold on to your beauty despite what society
to your beauty despite what society
to your beauty despite what society tells you you see I like to believe that
tells you you see I like to believe that
tells you you see I like to believe that he is having the same internal struggle
he is having the same internal struggle
he is having the same internal struggle as I am right the planting flowers
as I am right the planting flowers
as I am right the planting flowers around the house and giving them to my
around the house and giving them to my
around the house and giving them to my mother is his way of standing up to all
mother is his way of standing up to all
mother is his way of standing up to all the stereotypes about us you see people
the stereotypes about us you see people
the stereotypes about us you see people have been quick to point to my culture
have been quick to point to my culture
have been quick to point to my culture and label it as my cheese stop
and label it as my cheese stop
and label it as my cheese stop patriarchal sexist because of where I
patriarchal sexist because of where I
patriarchal sexist because of where I come from and how I look people have
come from and how I look people have
come from and how I look people have deemed me an outsider that denounces the
deemed me an outsider that denounces the
deemed me an outsider that denounces the humanity of others but machismo does not
humanity of others but machismo does not
humanity of others but machismo does not have to define who I am who my people
have to define who I am who my people
have to define who I am who my people are these stereotypes they’re not in our
are these stereotypes they’re not in our
are these stereotypes they’re not in our blood we have learned them we can also
blood we have learned them we can also
blood we have learned them we can also dismantle them the following poem is for
dismantle them the following poem is for
dismantle them the following poem is for all the men and for all the women in my
all the men and for all the women in my
all the men and for all the women in my life
life
life who encouraged me to break the
who encouraged me to break the
who encouraged me to break the stereotypes every single day it’s also
stereotypes every single day it’s also
stereotypes every single day it’s also for my students for all the brown boys
for my students for all the brown boys
for my students for all the brown boys who like me struggle to believe that we
who like me struggle to believe that we
who like me struggle to believe that we are beautiful we are beautiful the poem
are beautiful we are beautiful the poem
are beautiful we are beautiful the poem is titled
is titled
is titled for brown boys
for brown boys who come and go for brown
for brown boys who come and go for brown boys who walked out like my father for
boys who walked out like my father for
boys who walked out like my father for those who stayed to pick up the pieces
those who stayed to pick up the pieces
those who stayed to pick up the pieces like my stepfather for us brown boys for
like my stepfather for us brown boys for
like my stepfather for us brown boys for us fatherless children trying to fit the
us fatherless children trying to fit the
us fatherless children trying to fit the shoes of men we have never known I know
shoes of men we have never known I know
shoes of men we have never known I know so many battles go and recognize no
so many battles go and recognize no
so many battles go and recognize no purple hearts pinned to our chest just
purple hearts pinned to our chest just
purple hearts pinned to our chest just tattooed life stories engraved and arms
tattooed life stories engraved and arms
tattooed life stories engraved and arms callous hands from all the work put in
callous hands from all the work put in
callous hands from all the work put in bruised knees from getting back up when
bruised knees from getting back up when
bruised knees from getting back up when we get knocked down stretch marks on
we get knocked down stretch marks on
we get knocked down stretch marks on backs from being forced to grow up way
backs from being forced to grow up way
backs from being forced to grow up way too fast I know that the balance of
too fast I know that the balance of
too fast I know that the balance of providing and loving can be such a
providing and loving can be such a
providing and loving can be such a dubious task for us brown boys for us
dubious task for us brown boys for us
dubious task for us brown boys for us brown boys trying to hide behind beards
brown boys trying to hide behind beards
brown boys trying to hide behind beards and mustaches trying way too hard to be
and mustaches trying way too hard to be
and mustaches trying way too hard to be as hard as possible cut between body
as hard as possible cut between body
as hard as possible cut between body bags and survival cut between
bags and survival cut between
bags and survival cut between macho ideals and proletariat revolutions
macho ideals and proletariat revolutions
macho ideals and proletariat revolutions look at how we confuse passion for
look at how we confuse passion for
look at how we confuse passion for violence look at how we romanticize guns
violence look at how we romanticize guns
violence look at how we romanticize guns over a love of fair we brown boys are so
over a love of fair we brown boys are so
over a love of fair we brown boys are so full of contradictions for us brown boys
full of contradictions for us brown boys
full of contradictions for us brown boys who have been taught to be cautious of a
who have been taught to be cautious of a
who have been taught to be cautious of a tender touch like when she caresses my
tender touch like when she caresses my
tender touch like when she caresses my back I can I help feel uneasy even in
back I can I help feel uneasy even in
back I can I help feel uneasy even in bed let your guard down brown boy we
bed let your guard down brown boy we
bed let your guard down brown boy we don’t always have to be in
don’t always have to be in
don’t always have to be in fight-or-flight mode we deserve to be
fight-or-flight mode we deserve to be
fight-or-flight mode we deserve to be loved we deserve to show love we don’t
loved we deserve to show love we don’t
loved we deserve to show love we don’t have to look for affection in the bottom
have to look for affection in the bottom
have to look for affection in the bottom of shot glasses we cannot drown our pain
of shot glasses we cannot drown our pain
of shot glasses we cannot drown our pain trust me it will learn how to swim
trust me it will learn how to swim
trust me it will learn how to swim sorrow does not have to be a burden we
sorrow does not have to be a burden we
sorrow does not have to be a burden we make mistakes but we are not the
make mistakes but we are not the
make mistakes but we are not the mistakes brown boy who told you
mistakes brown boy who told you
mistakes brown boy who told you self-love was a battlefield whose turn
self-love was a battlefield whose turn
self-love was a battlefield whose turn your throw into a shotgun who taught you
your throw into a shotgun who taught you
your throw into a shotgun who taught you how to fight brown boy I once heard
how to fight brown boy I once heard
how to fight brown boy I once heard someone say that for us dark ones the
someone say that for us dark ones the
someone say that for us dark ones the act of breathing is rebellious remember
act of breathing is rebellious remember
act of breathing is rebellious remember they were the ones that called us
they were the ones that called us
they were the ones that called us savages they were the ones that
savages they were the ones that
savages they were the ones that desecrator of family tree they turned us
desecrator of family tree they turned us
desecrator of family tree they turned us into thugs they told those women were
into thugs they told those women were
into thugs they told those women were inferior in some days some days I want
inferior in some days some days I want
inferior in some days some days I want to shatter the image in the mirror wanna
to shatter the image in the mirror wanna
to shatter the image in the mirror wanna break every last piece of my mother out
break every last piece of my mother out
break every last piece of my mother out of my smile I know you two get tired of
of my smile I know you two get tired of
of my smile I know you two get tired of choosing between your hopes and your
choosing between your hopes and your
choosing between your hopes and your demons of trying to hold the ends of the
demons of trying to hold the ends of the
demons of trying to hold the ends of the world keeping them from fall and I know
world keeping them from fall and I know
world keeping them from fall and I know that you don’t want to crumble into
that you don’t want to crumble into
that you don’t want to crumble into pieces Brown boy we do not need street
pieces Brown boy we do not need street
pieces Brown boy we do not need street corners stained with candle wax
corners stained with candle wax
corners stained with candle wax decorated with flowers and pictures of
decorated with flowers and pictures of
decorated with flowers and pictures of you we need you alive Brown boy remember
you we need you alive Brown boy remember
you we need you alive Brown boy remember the trees let go of yourselves in the
the trees let go of yourselves in the
the trees let go of yourselves in the fall endure the winter so that they can
fall endure the winter so that they can
fall endure the winter so that they can bloom beautiful in the spring and
bloom beautiful in the spring and
bloom beautiful in the spring and provide shade in the summer brown boy we
provide shade in the summer brown boy we
provide shade in the summer brown boy we need you alive so let every embrace you
need you alive so let every embrace you
need you alive so let every embrace you give set off a revolution let every kiss
give set off a revolution let every kiss
give set off a revolution let every kiss you gave become the trigger to your
you gave become the trigger to your
you gave become the trigger to your throat to hear with words let
throat to hear with words let
throat to hear with words let forgiveness become the pin to the
forgiveness become the pin to the
forgiveness become the pin to the grenade to the paralytic of your heart
grenade to the paralytic of your heart
grenade to the paralytic of your heart explode delicately smash the short
explode delicately smash the short
explode delicately smash the short glasses on the floor fireworks
glasses on the floor fireworks
glasses on the floor fireworks announcing the new you let yourself be
announcing the new you let yourself be
announcing the new you let yourself be loved watch how much weakened girl let
loved watch how much weakened girl let
loved watch how much weakened girl let every man has walked out of your house
every man has walked out of your house
every man has walked out of your house become a reason for you to stay use
become a reason for you to stay use
become a reason for you to stay use these hands to help your children come
these hands to help your children come
these hands to help your children come to help them learn their ABCs Brown boys
to help them learn their ABCs Brown boys
to help them learn their ABCs Brown boys we are not explosions waiting to happen
we are not explosions waiting to happen
we are not explosions waiting to happen we
we
we are enough just as we are so let us
are enough just as we are so let us
are enough just as we are so let us believe that we are beautiful brown boys
believe that we are beautiful brown boys
believe that we are beautiful brown boys let us commit the most rebellious act of
let us commit the most rebellious act of
let us commit the most rebellious act of them all let us love ourselves thank you
”
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