[Applause] one of the first things we look for when
one of the first things we look for when
one of the first things we look for when a baby is born is to hear her voice her
a baby is born is to hear her voice her
a baby is born is to hear her voice her declaration of arrival that I’m here and
declaration of arrival that I’m here and
declaration of arrival that I’m here and you people are never going to get
you people are never going to get
you people are never going to get another night of sleep again as the
another night of sleep again as the
another night of sleep again as the child grows we encourage her to stand up
child grows we encourage her to stand up
child grows we encourage her to stand up for herself to use her voice and act
for herself to use her voice and act
for herself to use her voice and act with intention say what you mean and
with intention say what you mean and
with intention say what you mean and mean what you say it really surprises no
mean what you say it really surprises no
mean what you say it really surprises no one who knows me well to read in my
one who knows me well to read in my
one who knows me well to read in my kindergarten report card that I was very
kindergarten report card that I was very
kindergarten report card that I was very effective in using my voice to organize
effective in using my voice to organize
effective in using my voice to organize and direct clean-up time according to
and direct clean-up time according to
and direct clean-up time according to the teacher my next step was to actually
the teacher my next step was to actually
the teacher my next step was to actually participate and clean up what she had
participate and clean up what she had
participate and clean up what she had missed to my recollection was my
missed to my recollection was my
missed to my recollection was my determination that clean up needed to be
determination that clean up needed to be
determination that clean up needed to be fair and efficient and at five years old
fair and efficient and at five years old
fair and efficient and at five years old we needed some serious coordination as
we needed some serious coordination as
we needed some serious coordination as educators we often speak of how much we
educators we often speak of how much we
educators we often speak of how much we value voice and children it’s in the
value voice and children it’s in the
value voice and children it’s in the stories we read in the posters we hang
stories we read in the posters we hang
stories we read in the posters we hang in the lessons we teach and the advice
in the lessons we teach and the advice
in the lessons we teach and the advice we give and theory we love voice and we
we give and theory we love voice and we
we give and theory we love voice and we know or should know anyway that children
know or should know anyway that children
know or should know anyway that children have voice they don’t need us to give it
have voice they don’t need us to give it
have voice they don’t need us to give it to them only to make space for it but
to them only to make space for it but
to them only to make space for it but for all our talk of voice we also
for all our talk of voice we also
for all our talk of voice we also message something else something that is
message something else something that is
message something else something that is intended for some learners over others
intended for some learners over others
intended for some learners over others something that stands in opposition to
something that stands in opposition to
something that stands in opposition to our supposedly voice silence it is used
our supposedly voice silence it is used
our supposedly voice silence it is used with those whose very presence whose
with those whose very presence whose
with those whose very presence whose truth whose voice we find challenging or
truth whose voice we find challenging or
truth whose voice we find challenging or uncomfortable to us and to the
uncomfortable to us and to the
uncomfortable to us and to the structures that we uphold now you might
structures that we uphold now you might
structures that we uphold now you might think that this silence hits like in
think that this silence hits like in
think that this silence hits like in hammer that it’s somehow loud and evert
hammer that it’s somehow loud and evert
hammer that it’s somehow loud and evert and so you might think that silence
and so you might think that silence
and so you might think that silence found me and the questions of my
found me and the questions of my
found me and the questions of my classmates of how we came to be in
classmates of how we came to be in
classmates of how we came to be in Canada and
Canada and
Canada and it wasn’t on Camelback you might think
it wasn’t on Camelback you might think
it wasn’t on Camelback you might think that Cylons found me in the period to
that Cylons found me in the period to
that Cylons found me in the period to history teachers explanation of the many
history teachers explanation of the many
history teachers explanation of the many disadvantages of being an immigrant you
disadvantages of being an immigrant you
disadvantages of being an immigrant you might think it found me in the chemistry
might think it found me in the chemistry
might think it found me in the chemistry professors suggestion that really young
professors suggestion that really young
professors suggestion that really young arab women don’t need to bother with
arab women don’t need to bother with
arab women don’t need to bother with organic chemistry when would we ever use
organic chemistry when would we ever use
organic chemistry when would we ever use it in each of these moments who you are
it in each of these moments who you are
it in each of these moments who you are and how you’re perceived are visibly
and how you’re perceived are visibly
and how you’re perceived are visibly displayed yet somehow that visibility
displayed yet somehow that visibility
displayed yet somehow that visibility makes it possible to engage when the
makes it possible to engage when the
makes it possible to engage when the intended impact to construct a response
intended impact to construct a response
intended impact to construct a response so no camels don’t swim across oceans
so no camels don’t swim across oceans
so no camels don’t swim across oceans and really I would love to hear your
and really I would love to hear your
and really I would love to hear your European family’s immigration story and
European family’s immigration story and
European family’s immigration story and it’s okay I’ll ask the TMI questions
it’s okay I’ll ask the TMI questions
it’s okay I’ll ask the TMI questions after class even when these are not set
after class even when these are not set
after class even when these are not set out loud the truth is I never really did
out loud the truth is I never really did
out loud the truth is I never really did address my history teachers bigotry but
address my history teachers bigotry but
address my history teachers bigotry but just knowing what I would have liked to
just knowing what I would have liked to
just knowing what I would have liked to say seeing it clearly in my own head
say seeing it clearly in my own head
say seeing it clearly in my own head strengthened my sense of self so despite
strengthened my sense of self so despite
strengthened my sense of self so despite frustration or hurt
frustration or hurt
frustration or hurt there was this renewed commitment to
there was this renewed commitment to
there was this renewed commitment to speak out to use my voice and that’s the
speak out to use my voice and that’s the
speak out to use my voice and that’s the funny thing about silence though if you
funny thing about silence though if you
funny thing about silence though if you make it through childhood and the
make it through childhood and the
make it through childhood and the nausea-inducing roller coaster ride of
nausea-inducing roller coaster ride of
nausea-inducing roller coaster ride of adolescence with your voice somewhat
adolescence with your voice somewhat
adolescence with your voice somewhat intact you actually come to believe that
intact you actually come to believe that
intact you actually come to believe that you’re immune to silence as an adult but
you’re immune to silence as an adult but
you’re immune to silence as an adult but silence it finds you it travels the
silence it finds you it travels the
silence it finds you it travels the length of rooms traveling crawling up
length of rooms traveling crawling up
length of rooms traveling crawling up around you squeezing leaving you empty
around you squeezing leaving you empty
around you squeezing leaving you empty of word hiding your experiences in the
of word hiding your experiences in the
of word hiding your experiences in the darkest corners of yourself when silence
darkest corners of yourself when silence
darkest corners of yourself when silence found me I didn’t even know that it had
found me I didn’t even know that it had
found me I didn’t even know that it had moved in it had colonized my very being
moved in it had colonized my very being
moved in it had colonized my very being it had colonized my tongue but where did
it had colonized my tongue but where did
it had colonized my tongue but where did silence find me in so many places it
silence find me in so many places it
silence find me in so many places it found me in the comments that I was
found me in the comments that I was
found me in the comments that I was somehow over qualified to teach of
somehow over qualified to teach of
somehow over qualified to teach of needing to tone it down in the constant
needing to tone it down in the constant
needing to tone it down in the constant expectation that my face needed to look
expectation that my face needed to look
expectation that my face needed to look more friendly smile even when it was
more friendly smile even when it was
more friendly smile even when it was saying nothing at all it found me in a
saying nothing at all it found me in a
saying nothing at all it found me in a class that I was so excited to
class that I was so excited to
class that I was so excited to take that I was the only one sitting
take that I was the only one sitting
take that I was the only one sitting outside registration at dawn because in
outside registration at dawn because in
outside registration at dawn because in those days you needed to do these things
those days you needed to do these things
those days you needed to do these things in person I had met the instructor a
in person I had met the instructor a
in person I had met the instructor a year before at a conference and was
year before at a conference and was
year before at a conference and was instantly enamored she was brilliant
instantly enamored she was brilliant
instantly enamored she was brilliant dynamic outspoken she put into words
dynamic outspoken she put into words
dynamic outspoken she put into words ideas and feelings that I had that
ideas and feelings that I had that
ideas and feelings that I had that whirled around my head about women’s
whirled around my head about women’s
whirled around my head about women’s rights and health that made me want to
rights and health that made me want to
rights and health that made me want to jump up like I was at a boy band concert
jump up like I was at a boy band concert
jump up like I was at a boy band concert but I don’t know anything about that
but I don’t know anything about that
but I don’t know anything about that from the first day of class all I wanted
from the first day of class all I wanted
from the first day of class all I wanted was to be seen to connect I read every
was to be seen to connect I read every
was to be seen to connect I read every chapter every article tried to
chapter every article tried to
chapter every article tried to participate in every discussion I
participate in every discussion I
participate in every discussion I brought all of myself and my growing
brought all of myself and my growing
brought all of myself and my growing understanding of human rights into that
understanding of human rights into that
understanding of human rights into that space I was one of the youngest students
space I was one of the youngest students
space I was one of the youngest students the only woman of color and the only
the only woman of color and the only
the only woman of color and the only recent immigrant the first time the
recent immigrant the first time the
recent immigrant the first time the teacher was impatient with me I figured
teacher was impatient with me I figured
teacher was impatient with me I figured time was a factor she needed to move on
time was a factor she needed to move on
time was a factor she needed to move on with the lesson but after being
with the lesson but after being
with the lesson but after being continually cut off attempts to
continually cut off attempts to
continually cut off attempts to participate in conversations dismissed
participate in conversations dismissed
participate in conversations dismissed and written work empty of feedback I
and written work empty of feedback I
and written work empty of feedback I knew it was me I was the factor still I
knew it was me I was the factor still I
knew it was me I was the factor still I showed up for class I did every reading
showed up for class I did every reading
showed up for class I did every reading every assignment I was a little more
every assignment I was a little more
every assignment I was a little more quiet and my eagerness a little more
quiet and my eagerness a little more
quiet and my eagerness a little more tempered I roles and loud sighs coming
tempered I roles and loud sighs coming
tempered I roles and loud sighs coming at me unexpectedly for having committed
at me unexpectedly for having committed
at me unexpectedly for having committed the crime of being present for speaking
the crime of being present for speaking
the crime of being present for speaking an unwelcome truth for using my voice I
an unwelcome truth for using my voice I
an unwelcome truth for using my voice I don’t know what it is that I said only
don’t know what it is that I said only
don’t know what it is that I said only the sound of my heart Thunder loud and
the sound of my heart Thunder loud and
the sound of my heart Thunder loud and the lump you know the one that sits
the lump you know the one that sits
the lump you know the one that sits about here holding back the tears of
about here holding back the tears of
about here holding back the tears of your shame breathe you tell yourself in
your shame breathe you tell yourself in
your shame breathe you tell yourself in out you wait for the end of class and
out you wait for the end of class and
out you wait for the end of class and you gather your belongings and pieces of
you gather your belongings and pieces of
you gather your belongings and pieces of yourself you never go back you drop the
yourself you never go back you drop the
yourself you never go back you drop the class convincing yourself it wasn’t
class convincing yourself it wasn’t
class convincing yourself it wasn’t meant for you you clearly are not smart
meant for you you clearly are not smart
meant for you you clearly are not smart enough knowledgeable enough I’ll speak
enough knowledgeable enough I’ll speak
enough knowledgeable enough I’ll speak well enough to be in such a space
well enough to be in such a space
well enough to be in such a space your silence culminates in your total
your silence culminates in your total
your silence culminates in your total absence you forget about the class on
absence you forget about the class on
absence you forget about the class on the teacher you tell yourself next time
the teacher you tell yourself next time
the teacher you tell yourself next time speak less
speak less
speak less don’t be so present don’t share as much
don’t be so present don’t share as much
don’t be so present don’t share as much you tell yourself these are good life
you tell yourself these are good life
you tell yourself these are good life lessons
lessons
lessons do you hear pieces of your own story in
do you hear pieces of your own story in
do you hear pieces of your own story in this how many of you have silenced scars
this how many of you have silenced scars
this how many of you have silenced scars that come from experiences like this one
that come from experiences like this one
that come from experiences like this one or harsher ones even do you remember
or harsher ones even do you remember
or harsher ones even do you remember when silence wrapped itself around your
when silence wrapped itself around your
when silence wrapped itself around your body
body
body I mentioned this story not because it
I mentioned this story not because it
I mentioned this story not because it was the first or the last or even the
was the first or the last or even the
was the first or the last or even the worst of the silenced scars it just kept
worst of the silenced scars it just kept
worst of the silenced scars it just kept coming back to me because it was so
coming back to me because it was so
coming back to me because it was so subtle yet absolute it centered an
subtle yet absolute it centered an
subtle yet absolute it centered an educator with the power of her position
educator with the power of her position
educator with the power of her position of her identity of her status in my eyes
of her identity of her status in my eyes
of her identity of her status in my eyes that it amazes me after all this time
that it amazes me after all this time
that it amazes me after all this time the shame of that experience the need to
the shame of that experience the need to
the shame of that experience the need to shrink to be small to be quiet
shrink to be small to be quiet
shrink to be small to be quiet lies just beneath the surface the
lies just beneath the surface the
lies just beneath the surface the changes that came from this on other
changes that came from this on other
changes that came from this on other silent scars the hiding of my passion
silent scars the hiding of my passion
silent scars the hiding of my passion the revealing less of myself essentially
the revealing less of myself essentially
the revealing less of myself essentially the guarding of my voice and using it
the guarding of my voice and using it
the guarding of my voice and using it very selectively in professional
very selectively in professional
very selectively in professional interactions disappeared and what came
interactions disappeared and what came
interactions disappeared and what came to be my relationship with my students
to be my relationship with my students
to be my relationship with my students at school and my own children at home
at school and my own children at home
at school and my own children at home there I insisted on space for voice I
there I insisted on space for voice I
there I insisted on space for voice I used my voice I made sure that the
used my voice I made sure that the
used my voice I made sure that the children at home and at school saw
children at home and at school saw
children at home and at school saw themselves their stories their ideas
themselves their stories their ideas
themselves their stories their ideas reflected in their interactions with one
reflected in their interactions with one
reflected in their interactions with one another and with me they not only heard
another and with me they not only heard
another and with me they not only heard about the importance of voice they
about the importance of voice they
about the importance of voice they experienced how it can change their
experienced how it can change their
experienced how it can change their world the students in my class owned
world the students in my class owned
world the students in my class owned their thinking and their learning and
their thinking and their learning and
their thinking and their learning and they could challenge me and one another
they could challenge me and one another
they could challenge me and one another to interrogate ideas and actions at home
to interrogate ideas and actions at home
to interrogate ideas and actions at home we read the books and have the talks
we read the books and have the talks
we read the books and have the talks have always been honest with my kids
have always been honest with my kids
have always been honest with my kids about why the adults they interact with
about why the adults they interact with
about why the adults they interact with won’t always welcome their disagreement
won’t always welcome their disagreement
won’t always welcome their disagreement why some of their peers got lots of
why some of their peers got lots of
why some of their peers got lots of space while others are punished we
space while others are punished we
space while others are punished we talked about how race and gender class
talked about how race and gender class
talked about how race and gender class and ethnicity shaped their interactions
and ethnicity shaped their interactions
and ethnicity shaped their interactions with their friends and grown-ups they
with their friends and grown-ups they
with their friends and grown-ups they haven’t always had the right language
haven’t always had the right language
haven’t always had the right language like when my then four year old claimed
like when my then four year old claimed
like when my then four year old claimed all those who didn’t let him play with
all those who didn’t let him play with
all those who didn’t let him play with dolls were a bunch of racists but
dolls were a bunch of racists but
dolls were a bunch of racists but they’ve always had a keen sense of
they’ve always had a keen sense of
they’ve always had a keen sense of justice and they’re keenly aware of when
justice and they’re keenly aware of when
justice and they’re keenly aware of when it’s absent so I’d like to say there you
it’s absent so I’d like to say there you
it’s absent so I’d like to say there you go that’s the secret recipe focus on the
go that’s the secret recipe focus on the
go that’s the secret recipe focus on the kids make space for their voice in your
kids make space for their voice in your
kids make space for their voice in your words and your actions but I think you
words and your actions but I think you
words and your actions but I think you can see how inherently flawed that is to
can see how inherently flawed that is to
can see how inherently flawed that is to have a world full of self-censored
have a world full of self-censored
have a world full of self-censored adults who are upholding status quo
adults who are upholding status quo
adults who are upholding status quo structures and saying to kids speak up
structures and saying to kids speak up
structures and saying to kids speak up use your voice just be aware that
use your voice just be aware that
use your voice just be aware that there’s an appropriate way to do that
there’s an appropriate way to do that
there’s an appropriate way to do that and good luck figuring it all out the
and good luck figuring it all out the
and good luck figuring it all out the dichotomy of voice and silence became
dichotomy of voice and silence became
dichotomy of voice and silence became profound for me when my older son came
profound for me when my older son came
profound for me when my older son came to navigate the difficult terrain of
to navigate the difficult terrain of
to navigate the difficult terrain of middle school while dealing with the
middle school while dealing with the
middle school while dealing with the overt racism of one of his peers he was
overt racism of one of his peers he was
overt racism of one of his peers he was determined to handle it to speak up and
determined to handle it to speak up and
determined to handle it to speak up and as that educator committed to enacting
as that educator committed to enacting
as that educator committed to enacting voice I supported his self empowerment
voice I supported his self empowerment
voice I supported his self empowerment we had the talks about what he could say
we had the talks about what he could say
we had the talks about what he could say or do when I comforted him when things
or do when I comforted him when things
or do when I comforted him when things were rough and I thought I was doing it
were rough and I thought I was doing it
were rough and I thought I was doing it right but I had missed a few things
right but I had missed a few things
right but I had missed a few things first I didn’t see the whole picture the
first I didn’t see the whole picture the
first I didn’t see the whole picture the intentional and sustained string of
intentional and sustained string of
intentional and sustained string of incidents and how they shaped his daily
incidents and how they shaped his daily
incidents and how they shaped his daily school experience I had missed it in
school experience I had missed it in
school experience I had missed it in part because I hadn’t dug deep enough
part because I hadn’t dug deep enough
part because I hadn’t dug deep enough and so I had also missed how we the
and so I had also missed how we the
and so I had also missed how we the adults in his world were complicit in
adults in his world were complicit in
adults in his world were complicit in creating a context where this could go
creating a context where this could go
creating a context where this could go on for months I also missed the irony of
on for months I also missed the irony of
on for months I also missed the irony of supporting this beautiful young person
supporting this beautiful young person
supporting this beautiful young person while being cautious in the use of my
while being cautious in the use of my
while being cautious in the use of my own voice for so long I had been seeking
own voice for so long I had been seeking
own voice for so long I had been seeking to make things palatable for fellow
to make things palatable for fellow
to make things palatable for fellow educators leaving the personal outsides
educators leaving the personal outsides
educators leaving the personal outsides sounding academic and informed you know
sounding academic and informed you know
sounding academic and informed you know earning my place in that classroom that
earning my place in that classroom that
earning my place in that classroom that I didn’t believe I belonged in
I didn’t believe I belonged in
I didn’t believe I belonged in so many years before as his parents we
so many years before as his parents we
so many years before as his parents we eventually stepped in of course seeking
eventually stepped in of course seeking
eventually stepped in of course seeking and advocating for the protection and
and advocating for the protection and
and advocating for the protection and care of our child so the ending of the
care of our child so the ending of the
care of our child so the ending of the story is a positive one but the essence
story is a positive one but the essence
story is a positive one but the essence isn’t so much about taking action or
isn’t so much about taking action or
isn’t so much about taking action or partnering with the school or even
partnering with the school or even
partnering with the school or even engaging young people in dialogue about
engaging young people in dialogue about
engaging young people in dialogue about race for me the learning was how can I
race for me the learning was how can I
race for me the learning was how can I continue to support voice and young
continue to support voice and young
continue to support voice and young people in students when I don’t support
people in students when I don’t support
people in students when I don’t support it in myself how can we say speak up and
it in myself how can we say speak up and
it in myself how can we say speak up and speak out when we are contorting what we
speak out when we are contorting what we
speak out when we are contorting what we say and how we sound footnoting every
say and how we sound footnoting every
say and how we sound footnoting every assertion and parking our embodied
assertion and parking our embodied
assertion and parking our embodied experiences as anecdotal and somehow
experiences as anecdotal and somehow
experiences as anecdotal and somehow dismissible as educators we do need to
dismissible as educators we do need to
dismissible as educators we do need to examine the voices we hear in our
examine the voices we hear in our
examine the voices we hear in our classroom and reflect on the kinds of
classroom and reflect on the kinds of
classroom and reflect on the kinds of spaces that we’re orchestrating how does
spaces that we’re orchestrating how does
spaces that we’re orchestrating how does voice come to life in your classroom
voice come to life in your classroom
voice come to life in your classroom what body is that voice housed in what
what body is that voice housed in what
what body is that voice housed in what is the experience and worldview of that
is the experience and worldview of that
is the experience and worldview of that body which are the voices that we
body which are the voices that we
body which are the voices that we encourage listen to and support and
encourage listen to and support and
encourage listen to and support and which are the bodies that we silence and
which are the bodies that we silence and
which are the bodies that we silence and I ask us in that reflection on the
I ask us in that reflection on the
I ask us in that reflection on the complexity of silenced voices that we’d
complexity of silenced voices that we’d
complexity of silenced voices that we’d not reduce it to a matter of grit
not reduce it to a matter of grit
not reduce it to a matter of grit because it isn’t we need to understand
because it isn’t we need to understand
because it isn’t we need to understand how to truly make space for voice in our
how to truly make space for voice in our
how to truly make space for voice in our classrooms and schools and help children
classrooms and schools and help children
classrooms and schools and help children to guard against the silencing that may
to guard against the silencing that may
to guard against the silencing that may try to entangle them we need to make
try to entangle them we need to make
try to entangle them we need to make that silence visible and teach ways to
that silence visible and teach ways to
that silence visible and teach ways to interrupt it within and beyond school
interrupt it within and beyond school
interrupt it within and beyond school and that’s not just in the content of
and that’s not just in the content of
and that’s not just in the content of our books in our lessons it’s also in
our books in our lessons it’s also in
our books in our lessons it’s also in our processes and our interactions and
our processes and our interactions and
our processes and our interactions and equally important we need to use our own
equally important we need to use our own
equally important we need to use our own voice to challenge oppressive mindsets
voice to challenge oppressive mindsets
voice to challenge oppressive mindsets and practices to Center marginalized
and practices to Center marginalized
and practices to Center marginalized experiences
experiences
experiences take risks to create discomfort and to
take risks to create discomfort and to
take risks to create discomfort and to know that the eye rolls and the loud
know that the eye rolls and the loud
know that the eye rolls and the loud size they’re not on us when we speak
size they’re not on us when we speak
size they’re not on us when we speak about an oppression that we know
about an oppression that we know
about an oppression that we know viscerally that doesn’t reduce us as
viscerally that doesn’t reduce us as
viscerally that doesn’t reduce us as people or as professionals and we don’t
people or as professionals and we don’t
people or as professionals and we don’t need to tone it down or smile as we
need to tone it down or smile as we
need to tone it down or smile as we speak now this is not to make light of
speak now this is not to make light of
speak now this is not to make light of the real dangers personally and
the real dangers personally and
the real dangers personally and professionally of using your voice we
professionally of using your voice we
professionally of using your voice we have to be strategic but we also have to
have to be strategic but we also have to
have to be strategic but we also have to be brave we need to live the value of
be brave we need to live the value of
be brave we need to live the value of voice not just teach it we have so much
voice not just teach it we have so much
voice not just teach it we have so much power as educators our positions our
power as educators our positions our
power as educators our positions our identities our status can we really
identities our status can we really
identities our status can we really expect our students to bring all of
expect our students to bring all of
expect our students to bring all of themselves into our classrooms to speak
themselves into our classrooms to speak
themselves into our classrooms to speak their truths to use their voices to
their truths to use their voices to
their truths to use their voices to disrupt systems that diminish our
disrupt systems that diminish our
disrupt systems that diminish our collective humanity unless we are
collective humanity unless we are
collective humanity unless we are willing to do the same thank you
willing to do the same thank you
willing to do the same thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment