[Applause] it was a main summer day and I spent it
it was a main summer day and I spent it
it was a main summer day and I spent it wandering the humid aisles of the
wandering the humid aisles of the
wandering the humid aisles of the Brunswick indoor flea market with my
Brunswick indoor flea market with my
Brunswick indoor flea market with my camera in hand I search for interesting
camera in hand I search for interesting
camera in hand I search for interesting objects and subjects to capture hoping
objects and subjects to capture hoping
objects and subjects to capture hoping to strike Instagram gold seeing nothing
to strike Instagram gold seeing nothing
to strike Instagram gold seeing nothing that was worth paying attention to
that was worth paying attention to
that was worth paying attention to I decided to move along and just as I
I decided to move along and just as I
I decided to move along and just as I was about to pick up my pace I heard a
was about to pick up my pace I heard a
was about to pick up my pace I heard a voice ask what are you taking pictures
voice ask what are you taking pictures
voice ask what are you taking pictures of I turned toward the voice to see two
of I turned toward the voice to see two
of I turned toward the voice to see two white men and their seventy’s perched in
white men and their seventy’s perched in
white men and their seventy’s perched in a cluttered booth filled with old
a cluttered booth filled with old
a cluttered booth filled with old fishing equipment and boxes of papers
fishing equipment and boxes of papers
fishing equipment and boxes of papers let’s call them Jim and Ray just stuff I
let’s call them Jim and Ray just stuff I
let’s call them Jim and Ray just stuff I see I said they welcomed me into their
see I said they welcomed me into their
see I said they welcomed me into their space and there we were we talked about
space and there we were we talked about
space and there we were we talked about Maine and how traditional industries are
Maine and how traditional industries are
Maine and how traditional industries are changing and that’s when Jim said it’s
changing and that’s when Jim said it’s
changing and that’s when Jim said it’s the computers they’re taking our jobs
the computers they’re taking our jobs
the computers they’re taking our jobs Trump’s gonna bring them back so
no he’s not I yelled in my head as much
no he’s not I yelled in my head as much as I wanted to correct Jim over a year
as I wanted to correct Jim over a year
as I wanted to correct Jim over a year ago I decided I would engage in a new
ago I decided I would engage in a new
ago I decided I would engage in a new practice and no it wasn’t the latest
practice and no it wasn’t the latest
practice and no it wasn’t the latest yoga trend it’s radical listening
yoga trend it’s radical listening
yoga trend it’s radical listening radical listening is the practice of
radical listening is the practice of
radical listening is the practice of intentionally quieting your internal
intentionally quieting your internal
intentionally quieting your internal voice in judgments thereby offering your
voice in judgments thereby offering your
voice in judgments thereby offering your full mental space to the speaker this
full mental space to the speaker this
full mental space to the speaker this practice allows me to ask more informed
practice allows me to ask more informed
practice allows me to ask more informed questions receive well-thought-out
questions receive well-thought-out
questions receive well-thought-out answers and enable worthwhile
answers and enable worthwhile
answers and enable worthwhile conversations sometimes and think about
conversations sometimes and think about
conversations sometimes and think about it whether it was last year’s election
it whether it was last year’s election
it whether it was last year’s election or the last conversation with your
or the last conversation with your
or the last conversation with your partner about their socks becoming an
partner about their socks becoming an
partner about their socks becoming an art installation on your apartment floor
art installation on your apartment floor
art installation on your apartment floor we are terrible at listening to people
we are terrible at listening to people
we are terrible at listening to people we disagree with it’s a defense
we disagree with it’s a defense
we disagree with it’s a defense mechanism an element of our brain that’s
mechanism an element of our brain that’s
mechanism an element of our brain that’s been evolving over millions of years to
been evolving over millions of years to
been evolving over millions of years to protect us when we feel most vulnerable
protect us when we feel most vulnerable
protect us when we feel most vulnerable and/or at risk of being wrong however I
and/or at risk of being wrong however I
and/or at risk of being wrong however I believe that being listened to and
believe that being listened to and
believe that being listened to and understood are ways in which we affirm
understood are ways in which we affirm
understood are ways in which we affirm each other’s existence and when people
each other’s existence and when people
each other’s existence and when people feel that they are left out or ignored
feel that they are left out or ignored
feel that they are left out or ignored we experience doubt and extremism in our
we experience doubt and extremism in our
we experience doubt and extremism in our society our communities our politics and
society our communities our politics and
society our communities our politics and our relationships now I think we’ve
our relationships now I think we’ve
our relationships now I think we’ve forgotten that every conversation
forgotten that every conversation
forgotten that every conversation doesn’t have to end with someone joining
doesn’t have to end with someone joining
doesn’t have to end with someone joining your side we don’t all need to be on the
your side we don’t all need to be on the
your side we don’t all need to be on the same team here and even more I’m not
same team here and even more I’m not
same team here and even more I’m not sure we taught or maybe we forgot along
sure we taught or maybe we forgot along
sure we taught or maybe we forgot along the way how to disagree respectfully
radical listening is not easy or simple
radical listening is not easy or simple at all it’s a constant practice and
at all it’s a constant practice and
at all it’s a constant practice and reminder to self to suspend what I
reminder to self to suspend what I
reminder to self to suspend what I presume to know about someone and their
presume to know about someone and their
presume to know about someone and their experience in our shared society back in
experience in our shared society back in
experience in our shared society back in the booth at the
the booth at the
the booth at the we market I practiced I reminded I
we market I practiced I reminded I
we market I practiced I reminded I listened and I also struggled a lot when
listened and I also struggled a lot when
listened and I also struggled a lot when Ray said that Hillary Clinton was the
Ray said that Hillary Clinton was the
Ray said that Hillary Clinton was the Antichrist I really struggled with that
Antichrist I really struggled with that
Antichrist I really struggled with that and in that moment I reminded and I
and in that moment I reminded and I
and in that moment I reminded and I practiced and I listened and it wasn’t
practiced and I listened and it wasn’t
practiced and I listened and it wasn’t the easiest conversation that I’ve ever
the easiest conversation that I’ve ever
the easiest conversation that I’ve ever had but we were there sticking to it
had but we were there sticking to it
had but we were there sticking to it then as in today radical listening is
then as in today radical listening is
then as in today radical listening is necessary work that doesn’t necessarily
necessary work that doesn’t necessarily
necessary work that doesn’t necessarily get easier ask anyone who knows me I
get easier ask anyone who knows me I
get easier ask anyone who knows me I have a very hard time not correcting
have a very hard time not correcting
have a very hard time not correcting people when they’re wrong I mean really
people when they’re wrong I mean really
people when they’re wrong I mean really hard however what I know won’t always
hard however what I know won’t always
hard however what I know won’t always change someone’s mind beliefs and
change someone’s mind beliefs and
change someone’s mind beliefs and opinions and if I approach every
opinions and if I approach every
opinions and if I approach every conversation with the intent to
conversation with the intent to
conversation with the intent to proselytize I’m gonna burn out so if I
proselytize I’m gonna burn out so if I
proselytize I’m gonna burn out so if I can shift my approach rethink my
can shift my approach rethink my
can shift my approach rethink my expectations and preserve some of my
expectations and preserve some of my
expectations and preserve some of my energy perhaps I can engage in
energy perhaps I can engage in
energy perhaps I can engage in conversations that end with more empathy
conversations that end with more empathy
conversations that end with more empathy compassion and understanding perhaps
compassion and understanding perhaps
compassion and understanding perhaps even I can model this practice for
even I can model this practice for
even I can model this practice for someone who’s hesitant and that’s
someone who’s hesitant and that’s
someone who’s hesitant and that’s because radical listening is a necessary
because radical listening is a necessary
because radical listening is a necessary step to effecting change in order to
step to effecting change in order to
step to effecting change in order to change our society I need to know how
change our society I need to know how
change our society I need to know how someone on the other side things to have
someone on the other side things to have
someone on the other side things to have a successful relationship I need to try
a successful relationship I need to try
a successful relationship I need to try to understand my partner to have a
to understand my partner to have a
to understand my partner to have a successful society I need to try to
successful society I need to try to
successful society I need to try to understand those two men at the flea
understand those two men at the flea
understand those two men at the flea market and they need to try to
market and they need to try to
market and they need to try to understand me too
understand me too
understand me too it goes both ways
back in the booth at the flea market our
back in the booth at the flea market our conversation was winding down I had my
conversation was winding down I had my
conversation was winding down I had my camera in hand and I was ready to move
camera in hand and I was ready to move
camera in hand and I was ready to move along they thanked me for listening told
along they thanked me for listening told
along they thanked me for listening told me to read breitbart and Ray went on to
me to read breitbart and Ray went on to
me to read breitbart and Ray went on to say that he believed America to be a
say that he believed America to be a
say that he believed America to be a country of laws you know when scooby-doo
country of laws you know when scooby-doo
country of laws you know when scooby-doo goes rut Rome that was me when I
goes rut Rome that was me when I
goes rut Rome that was me when I practiced and reminded and listened ray
practiced and reminded and listened ray
practiced and reminded and listened ray went on to say that those laws extend
went on to say that those laws extend
went on to say that those laws extend even to law enforcement that use
even to law enforcement that use
even to law enforcement that use excessive and deadly force against black
excessive and deadly force against black
excessive and deadly force against black people instead of protecting and serving
people instead of protecting and serving
people instead of protecting and serving them Wow I thought a moment I didn’t
them Wow I thought a moment I didn’t
them Wow I thought a moment I didn’t expect and that’s what happens when we
expect and that’s what happens when we
expect and that’s what happens when we listen radically we have the opportunity
listen radically we have the opportunity
listen radically we have the opportunity to listen to and learn from people even
to listen to and learn from people even
to listen to and learn from people even those that seem so different from us and
those that seem so different from us and
those that seem so different from us and it’s in that listening that we begin the
it’s in that listening that we begin the
it’s in that listening that we begin the process of radical change and even more
process of radical change and even more
process of radical change and even more what this practice has taught me and I
what this practice has taught me and I
what this practice has taught me and I hope will teach you is how to become
hope will teach you is how to become
hope will teach you is how to become more comfortable
being uncomfortable thank you
being uncomfortable thank you [Applause]
”
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