Life isn’t about what happens to you | Mariah Mansvelt Beck | TEDxZwolle

so recently my mom and my sister they

so recently my mom and my sister they were cleaning up and they found this

were cleaning up and they found this

were cleaning up and they found this really old notebook of mine and it had a

really old notebook of mine and it had a

really old notebook of mine and it had a to-do list in it and this to-do list

to-do list in it and this to-do list

to-do list in it and this to-do list must have dated back from when I was 7

must have dated back from when I was 7

must have dated back from when I was 7 years old and it organized my to do’s of

years old and it organized my to do’s of

years old and it organized my to do’s of the day and bullet point fashion so get

the day and bullet point fashion so get

the day and bullet point fashion so get up clean my room have breakfast walk the

up clean my room have breakfast walk the

up clean my room have breakfast walk the dog

dog

dog I obviously am a big fan of lists

I obviously am a big fan of lists

I obviously am a big fan of lists I’ve always have been and I get a kick

I’ve always have been and I get a kick

I’ve always have been and I get a kick out of checking off my to dues but

out of checking off my to dues but

out of checking off my to dues but there’s one type of list I don’t have

there’s one type of list I don’t have

there’s one type of list I don’t have which is a bucket list and for those of

which is a bucket list and for those of

which is a bucket list and for those of you who don’t know what a bucket list is

you who don’t know what a bucket list is

you who don’t know what a bucket list is a bucket list is a list of things that

a bucket list is a list of things that

a bucket list is a list of things that we want to do before we die now

we want to do before we die now

we want to do before we die now according to Google the most popular

according to Google the most popular

according to Google the most popular things to put on your bucket list

things to put on your bucket list

things to put on your bucket list nowadays are things like swimming with

nowadays are things like swimming with

nowadays are things like swimming with dolphins getting married learning a new

dolphins getting married learning a new

dolphins getting married learning a new language

language

language seeing the Northern Lights now it’s

seeing the Northern Lights now it’s

seeing the Northern Lights now it’s bucket lists are getting more popular

bucket lists are getting more popular

bucket lists are getting more popular and according to my social media feed

and according to my social media feed

and according to my social media feed they’re more more people I vaguely know

they’re more more people I vaguely know

they’re more more people I vaguely know who our daily checking off they’re

who our daily checking off they’re

who our daily checking off they’re they’re things on their list and I’m all

they’re things on their list and I’m all

they’re things on their list and I’m all for people focusing on the things that

for people focusing on the things that

for people focusing on the things that they want from life

rather than the things that they don’t

rather than the things that they don’t want but there is a reason why I don’t

want but there is a reason why I don’t

want but there is a reason why I don’t have one of these lists and there’s a

have one of these lists and there’s a

have one of these lists and there’s a reason why I would advise people who are

reason why I would advise people who are

reason why I would advise people who are anything like myself overly goal

anything like myself overly goal

anything like myself overly goal orientated I have this tendency of

orientated I have this tendency of

orientated I have this tendency of dreaming up where I want to go and then

dreaming up where I want to go and then

dreaming up where I want to go and then going full speed ahead with blinkers on

going full speed ahead with blinkers on

going full speed ahead with blinkers on and I would say step away from the list

and I would say step away from the list

and I would say step away from the list I’m going to share with you a few

I’m going to share with you a few

I’m going to share with you a few stories from my own life to explain why

stories from my own life to explain why

stories from my own life to explain why I’ve come to this conclusion for as long

I’ve come to this conclusion for as long

I’ve come to this conclusion for as long as I can remember I felt that I have a

as I can remember I felt that I have a

as I can remember I felt that I have a very clear purpose here on earth to make

very clear purpose here on earth to make

very clear purpose here on earth to make a positive change to the world

a positive change to the world

a positive change to the world so when I finished my master’s in

so when I finished my master’s in

so when I finished my master’s in international development I started

international development I started

international development I started working for Doctors Without Borders

working for Doctors Without Borders

working for Doctors Without Borders Doctors Without Borders is an amazing

Doctors Without Borders is an amazing

Doctors Without Borders is an amazing organization with a mission to save

organization with a mission to save

organization with a mission to save lives and alleviate suffering and I felt

lives and alleviate suffering and I felt

lives and alleviate suffering and I felt I had found my purpose well

I had found my purpose well

I had found my purpose well I quickly mapped out my career knew

I quickly mapped out my career knew

I quickly mapped out my career knew exactly which steps I needed to take to

exactly which steps I needed to take to

exactly which steps I needed to take to have a successful career in the field

have a successful career in the field

have a successful career in the field and I was really happy when I could

and I was really happy when I could

and I was really happy when I could check off one of those boxes by getting

check off one of those boxes by getting

check off one of those boxes by getting my first mission to the field and I

my first mission to the field and I

my first mission to the field and I arrived in the field in South Sudan in

arrived in the field in South Sudan in

arrived in the field in South Sudan in the middle of nowhere and I arrived on

the middle of nowhere and I arrived on

the middle of nowhere and I arrived on this miniature playing and I got off and

this miniature playing and I got off and

this miniature playing and I got off and the airstrip was just like this filled

the airstrip was just like this filled

the airstrip was just like this filled with at the end of it a crashed

with at the end of it a crashed

with at the end of it a crashed miniature plane and as everyone came

miniature plane and as everyone came

miniature plane and as everyone came towards me the whole village and my

towards me the whole village and my

towards me the whole village and my teammates to welcome me

teammates to welcome me

teammates to welcome me I felt slightly overwhelmed as well as

I felt slightly overwhelmed as well as

I felt slightly overwhelmed as well as really needing to pee so as soon as one

really needing to pee so as soon as one

really needing to pee so as soon as one of my teammates had showed me my mud hut

of my teammates had showed me my mud hut

of my teammates had showed me my mud hut and I put down my bag they also showed

and I put down my bag they also showed

and I put down my bag they also showed me the way to the outhouse I went to the

me the way to the outhouse I went to the

me the way to the outhouse I went to the outhouse open the door saw that there

outhouse open the door saw that there

outhouse open the door saw that there was this old toilet bowl on top of the

was this old toilet bowl on top of the

was this old toilet bowl on top of the hole I open the lid there was this you

hole I open the lid there was this you

hole I open the lid there was this you know outhouse tench but there was also

know outhouse tench but there was also

know outhouse tench but there was also this horrific swarm of mosquitoes and

this horrific swarm of mosquitoes and

this horrific swarm of mosquitoes and flies thousands of them just coming on

flies thousands of them just coming on

flies thousands of them just coming on out it was my worst outhouse experience

out it was my worst outhouse experience

out it was my worst outhouse experience today and it never was that bad ever

today and it never was that bad ever

today and it never was that bad ever after um and all I could remember

after um and all I could remember

after um and all I could remember thinking was oh my gosh but there was no

thinking was oh my gosh but there was no

thinking was oh my gosh but there was no other option so somehow I managed to pee

other option so somehow I managed to pee

other option so somehow I managed to pee I got out of the outhouse I put my

I got out of the outhouse I put my

I got out of the outhouse I put my sunglasses on just to hide my tears and

sunglasses on just to hide my tears and

sunglasses on just to hide my tears and I thought oh I’ve made a horrific

I thought oh I’ve made a horrific

I thought oh I’ve made a horrific mistake now it wasn’t the outhouse or

mistake now it wasn’t the outhouse or

mistake now it wasn’t the outhouse or any of the other discomforts that come

any of the other discomforts that come

any of the other discomforts that come along with field life that made me

along with field life that made me

along with field life that made me realise I had made a mistake I had made

realise I had made a mistake I had made

realise I had made a mistake I had made a mistake to think that my life’s work

a mistake to think that my life’s work

a mistake to think that my life’s work was going to be a career in the field

was going to be a career in the field

was going to be a career in the field because I realized I’m the type of

because I realized I’m the type of

because I realized I’m the type of person who needs a stable home

person who needs a stable home

person who needs a stable home environment preferably with my loved

environment preferably with my loved

environment preferably with my loved ones

ones

ones nearby I’m the type of person who

nearby I’m the type of person who

nearby I’m the type of person who doesn’t have a strong immune system so

doesn’t have a strong immune system so

doesn’t have a strong immune system so so many months into my field assignment

so many months into my field assignment

so many months into my field assignment I continuously got sick and had like

I continuously got sick and had like

I continuously got sick and had like eight rounds of antibiotics in two

eight rounds of antibiotics in two

eight rounds of antibiotics in two months I had to accept that this was not

months I had to accept that this was not

months I had to accept that this was not going to be my life’s work so I finished

going to be my life’s work so I finished

going to be my life’s work so I finished my time of the field I returned home and

my time of the field I returned home and

my time of the field I returned home and I took a couple of months off to recover

I took a couple of months off to recover

I took a couple of months off to recover and soon I wasn’t only recovering from

and soon I wasn’t only recovering from

and soon I wasn’t only recovering from my time in South Sudan

my time in South Sudan

my time in South Sudan I was also recovering from a breakup

I was also recovering from a breakup

I was also recovering from a breakup with my boyfriend at the time so this

with my boyfriend at the time so this

with my boyfriend at the time so this left me approaching 30 I had no clear

left me approaching 30 I had no clear

left me approaching 30 I had no clear purpose in my life anymore no clear

purpose in my life anymore no clear

purpose in my life anymore no clear direction in my career and I was single

direction in my career and I was single

direction in my career and I was single so about relationships about three years

so about relationships about three years

so about relationships about three years ago I found myself in a new relationship

ago I found myself in a new relationship

ago I found myself in a new relationship I was six months into this relationship

I was six months into this relationship

I was six months into this relationship and I found myself having to do a

and I found myself having to do a

and I found myself having to do a pregnancy test and I was pregnant this

pregnancy test and I was pregnant this

pregnancy test and I was pregnant this came to a surprise to the both of us but

came to a surprise to the both of us but

came to a surprise to the both of us but I immediately knew I’m gonna have this

I immediately knew I’m gonna have this

I immediately knew I’m gonna have this baby and that has really everything to

baby and that has really everything to

baby and that has really everything to do with my health and I’ll talk about

do with my health and I’ll talk about

do with my health and I’ll talk about that in a little bit later nine months

that in a little bit later nine months

that in a little bit later nine months later I had my daughter and before her

later I had my daughter and before her

later I had my daughter and before her first birthday the father of my my baby

first birthday the father of my my baby

first birthday the father of my my baby and I we as we kind of half anticipated

and I we as we kind of half anticipated

and I we as we kind of half anticipated our relationship wasn’t up for the

our relationship wasn’t up for the

our relationship wasn’t up for the challenge so we started co-parenting and

challenge so we started co-parenting and

challenge so we started co-parenting and as I moved out I called our daycare to

as I moved out I called our daycare to

as I moved out I called our daycare to let them know about the changes in our

let them know about the changes in our

let them know about the changes in our lives and they let me know they

lives and they let me know they

lives and they let me know they responded well we’ll tell the staff on a

responded well we’ll tell the staff on a

responded well we’ll tell the staff on a need-to-know basis like okay but then I

need-to-know basis like okay but then I

need-to-know basis like okay but then I was like no no no wait one second this

was like no no no wait one second this

was like no no no wait one second this is my life and obviously co-parenting

is my life and obviously co-parenting

is my life and obviously co-parenting single motherhood isn’t something I

single motherhood isn’t something I

single motherhood isn’t something I dreamt up and it’s not ideal but this is

dreamt up and it’s not ideal but this is

dreamt up and it’s not ideal but this is my reality and I’m dealing with it and

my reality and I’m dealing with it and

my reality and I’m dealing with it and we’re not going to hide it under the

we’re not going to hide it under the

we’re not going to hide it under the carpet so now I’ve told you this story

carpet so now I’ve told you this story

carpet so now I’ve told you this story about one of my babies but I actually

about one of my babies but I actually

about one of my babies but I actually have

have

have so while I was pregnant with my first I

so while I was pregnant with my first I

so while I was pregnant with my first I was actually giving birth to another

was actually giving birth to another

was actually giving birth to another baby my business baby

baby my business baby

baby my business baby when I turned 30 I was asked to do a

when I turned 30 I was asked to do a

when I turned 30 I was asked to do a health check-up just like any other

health check-up just like any other

health check-up just like any other Dutch woman and during my health

Dutch woman and during my health

Dutch woman and during my health check-up I found out that I was

check-up I found out that I was

check-up I found out that I was developing cervical cancer I spend the

developing cervical cancer I spend the

developing cervical cancer I spend the next six months in and out of hospitals

next six months in and out of hospitals

next six months in and out of hospitals and I was also in search of other ways

and I was also in search of other ways

and I was also in search of other ways to support my health I met a specialist

to support my health I met a specialist

to support my health I met a specialist who advised me to start using organic

who advised me to start using organic

who advised me to start using organic cotton tampons and pads to prevent

cotton tampons and pads to prevent

cotton tampons and pads to prevent further irritation so organic cotton

further irritation so organic cotton

further irritation so organic cotton tampons and pads how many of you have

tampons and pads how many of you have

tampons and pads how many of you have ever wondered what tampons pads and

ever wondered what tampons pads and

ever wondered what tampons pads and panty liners are made from a few people

panty liners are made from a few people

panty liners are made from a few people up till then I had never asked myself

up till then I had never asked myself

up till then I had never asked myself that question but considering I had been

that question but considering I had been

that question but considering I had been using these products for over 15 years

using these products for over 15 years

using these products for over 15 years near or inside one of the most absorbent

near or inside one of the most absorbent

near or inside one of the most absorbent parts of my body I was curious yet a

parts of my body I was curious yet a

parts of my body I was curious yet a little skeptical so I started to do some

little skeptical so I started to do some

little skeptical so I started to do some research took a look at the packaging

research took a look at the packaging

research took a look at the packaging that didn’t help me it doesn’t list any

that didn’t help me it doesn’t list any

that didn’t help me it doesn’t list any of the ingredients so I picked up the

of the ingredients so I picked up the

of the ingredients so I picked up the phone and I called some of the four main

phone and I called some of the four main

phone and I called some of the four main companies who dominate the the

companies who dominate the the

companies who dominate the the feminine-hygiene market and they let me

feminine-hygiene market and they let me

feminine-hygiene market and they let me know that my tampons and pads aren’t

know that my tampons and pads aren’t

know that my tampons and pads aren’t made out of pure cotton but are

made out of pure cotton but are

made out of pure cotton but are generally made with a blend of synthetic

generally made with a blend of synthetic

generally made with a blend of synthetic materials like rayon and plastics I

materials like rayon and plastics I

materials like rayon and plastics I wanted to know more digging deeper I

wanted to know more digging deeper I

wanted to know more digging deeper I found out that many products contain

found out that many products contain

found out that many products contain perfume super absorbent pearls that if

perfume super absorbent pearls that if

perfume super absorbent pearls that if they contain cotton cotton is one of the

they contain cotton cotton is one of the

they contain cotton cotton is one of the most sprayed upon crops in the world to

most sprayed upon crops in the world to

most sprayed upon crops in the world to top it all off there’s no specific EU

top it all off there’s no specific EU

top it all off there’s no specific EU regulation that this industry needs to

regulation that this industry needs to

regulation that this industry needs to follow with respect to the labeling of

follow with respect to the labeling of

follow with respect to the labeling of the products or the specific content of

the products or the specific content of

the products or the specific content of the products such intimate products now

the products such intimate products now

the products such intimate products now while research is thin and inconclusive

while research is thin and inconclusive

while research is thin and inconclusive I will never know if my personal story

I will never know if my personal story

I will never know if my personal story would be any diff

would be any diff

would be any diff if I had known this before but I wish I

if I had known this before but I wish I

if I had known this before but I wish I had but what I do know is that this is a

had but what I do know is that this is a

had but what I do know is that this is a story worth sharing sharing to create

story worth sharing sharing to create

story worth sharing sharing to create awareness sharing to create a demand and

awareness sharing to create a demand and

awareness sharing to create a demand and sharing to make a lasting change to the

sharing to make a lasting change to the

sharing to make a lasting change to the current feminine-hygiene market we want

current feminine-hygiene market we want

current feminine-hygiene market we want producers to be transparent about the

producers to be transparent about the

producers to be transparent about the content of these products and we want

content of these products and we want

content of these products and we want there to be alternatives on the shelves

there to be alternatives on the shelves

there to be alternatives on the shelves next to the synthetic ones and this is

next to the synthetic ones and this is

next to the synthetic ones and this is why when Deline Haley and I one of my

why when Deline Haley and I one of my

why when Deline Haley and I one of my best friends and I why we started yoni

best friends and I why we started yoni

best friends and I why we started yoni with yoni we make organic cotton tampons

with yoni we make organic cotton tampons

with yoni we make organic cotton tampons pads and panty liners and we bring them

pads and panty liners and we bring them

pads and panty liners and we bring them to the mainstream market and we decided

to the mainstream market and we decided

to the mainstream market and we decided that if really while we’re doing that

that if really while we’re doing that

that if really while we’re doing that we’re not only just bringing them to the

we’re not only just bringing them to the

we’re not only just bringing them to the shelves but we’re all actually actively

shelves but we’re all actually actively

shelves but we’re all actually actively communicating the story because if this

communicating the story because if this

communicating the story because if this was a story that nobody was going to

was a story that nobody was going to

was a story that nobody was going to talk about nobody was talking about them

talk about nobody was talking about them

talk about nobody was talking about them we were going to do so and I’m proud to

we were going to do so and I’m proud to

we were going to do so and I’m proud to say that after three and a half years in

say that after three and a half years in

say that after three and a half years in the business and a little over two years

the business and a little over two years

the business and a little over two years in sales that we’ve actually made this

in sales that we’ve actually made this

in sales that we’ve actually made this change here in the Netherlands so in the

change here in the Netherlands so in the

change here in the Netherlands so in the Netherlands you can go into our largest

Netherlands you can go into our largest

Netherlands you can go into our largest mainstream supermarket and drug store

mainstream supermarket and drug store

mainstream supermarket and drug store chain and you can find Yanni’s organic

chain and you can find Yanni’s organic

chain and you can find Yanni’s organic cotton tampons pads and panty liners and

cotton tampons pads and panty liners and

cotton tampons pads and panty liners and this is the first time in almost all of

this is the first time in almost all of

this is the first time in almost all of Europe that this type of product is on a

Europe that this type of product is on a

Europe that this type of product is on a mainstream shelf

so my work is cut out for our work is

so my work is cut out for our work is cut out for us we have we’re going to go

cut out for us we have we’re going to go

cut out for us we have we’re going to go across borders because obviously

across borders because obviously

across borders because obviously menstruation and the lack of products

menstruation and the lack of products

menstruation and the lack of products isn’t something limited to here in the

isn’t something limited to here in the

isn’t something limited to here in the Netherlands so nowadays I can go to a

Netherlands so nowadays I can go to a

Netherlands so nowadays I can go to a dinner party and I can introduce myself

dinner party and I can introduce myself

dinner party and I can introduce myself as Mariah the co-parenting single mother

as Mariah the co-parenting single mother

as Mariah the co-parenting single mother with a tampon company and this obviously

with a tampon company and this obviously

with a tampon company and this obviously makes a fantastic conversation starter

makes a fantastic conversation starter

makes a fantastic conversation starter or makes people feel very uncomfortable

or makes people feel very uncomfortable

or makes people feel very uncomfortable I could have never dreamt up where I am

I could have never dreamt up where I am

I could have never dreamt up where I am today and I know I won’t be able to

today and I know I won’t be able to

today and I know I won’t be able to dream up my future and this is why I

dream up my future and this is why I

dream up my future and this is why I hope you walk away with two main

hope you walk away with two main

hope you walk away with two main messages the first is simple join us on

messages the first is simple join us on

messages the first is simple join us on our mission to protect vaginas globally

our mission to protect vaginas globally

our mission to protect vaginas globally share this story with women and girls in

share this story with women and girls in

share this story with women and girls in your lives and the second is slightly

your lives and the second is slightly

your lives and the second is slightly more complicated and has taken me some

more complicated and has taken me some

more complicated and has taken me some time to figure on out often the best

time to figure on out often the best

time to figure on out often the best things in life are things you can’t

things in life are things you can’t

things in life are things you can’t pre-plan or think up so if you’re like

pre-plan or think up so if you’re like

pre-plan or think up so if you’re like me goal orientated with high

me goal orientated with high

me goal orientated with high expectations for yourself and others my

expectations for yourself and others my

expectations for yourself and others my advice would be let go and remember that

advice would be let go and remember that

advice would be let go and remember that life isn’t about what happens it’s all

life isn’t about what happens it’s all

life isn’t about what happens it’s all about how you choose to deal with its

about how you choose to deal with its

about how you choose to deal with its challenges thank

challenges thank

challenges thank [Applause]