[Applause] so I’m 17 years old and what I want to
so I’m 17 years old and what I want to
so I’m 17 years old and what I want to talk to you guys about today is the idea
talk to you guys about today is the idea
talk to you guys about today is the idea of self-confidence and now you might be
of self-confidence and now you might be
of self-confidence and now you might be thinking wait hold on a second
thinking wait hold on a second
thinking wait hold on a second teenagers aren’t supposed to have that
teenagers aren’t supposed to have that
teenagers aren’t supposed to have that and you’re right many of us don’t even
and you’re right many of us don’t even
and you’re right many of us don’t even adults but what I want to share with you
adults but what I want to share with you
adults but what I want to share with you today is how I develop self-confidence
today is how I develop self-confidence
today is how I develop self-confidence in the midst of being a teenager and the
in the midst of being a teenager and the
in the midst of being a teenager and the obstacles I overcame but first I want to
obstacles I overcame but first I want to
obstacles I overcame but first I want to share with you my story I was born into
share with you my story I was born into
share with you my story I was born into a Canadian home with two adoptive
a Canadian home with two adoptive
a Canadian home with two adoptive brothers and both my parents and my
brothers and both my parents and my
brothers and both my parents and my early childhood years there’s a lot of
early childhood years there’s a lot of
early childhood years there’s a lot of strife in my home between my parents
strife in my home between my parents
strife in my home between my parents they often fought against each other and
they often fought against each other and
they often fought against each other and ended up getting divorced when I was
ended up getting divorced when I was
ended up getting divorced when I was four years old
four years old
four years old both my parents got remarried after this
both my parents got remarried after this
both my parents got remarried after this time but as my older brothers and my
time but as my older brothers and my
time but as my older brothers and my baby sister and myself grew up there was
baby sister and myself grew up there was
baby sister and myself grew up there was still a lot of strife in our house my
still a lot of strife in our house my
still a lot of strife in our house my brothers often fought with my mother
brothers often fought with my mother
brothers often fought with my mother there’s a lot of issues between drugs
there’s a lot of issues between drugs
there’s a lot of issues between drugs drug dealing and other problems would
drug dealing and other problems would
drug dealing and other problems would throw their school I became a very
throw their school I became a very
throw their school I became a very closed off individual with a lot of
closed off individual with a lot of
closed off individual with a lot of insecurities ten years after my mom and
insecurities ten years after my mom and
insecurities ten years after my mom and stepdads wedding my stepdad was
stepdads wedding my stepdad was
stepdads wedding my stepdad was diagnosed with stage four inoperable
diagnosed with stage four inoperable
diagnosed with stage four inoperable brain cancer he had two tumors the size
brain cancer he had two tumors the size
brain cancer he had two tumors the size of fists in his head and the radiation
of fists in his head and the radiation
of fists in his head and the radiation treatment suggested by the doctors posed
treatment suggested by the doctors posed
treatment suggested by the doctors posed a major risk of further brain damage my
a major risk of further brain damage my
a major risk of further brain damage my stepdad Greg ended up passing away this
stepdad Greg ended up passing away this
stepdad Greg ended up passing away this last January six months after his
last January six months after his
last January six months after his diagnosis so why do I share with you my
diagnosis so why do I share with you my
diagnosis so why do I share with you my story and what does it got to do with
story and what does it got to do with
story and what does it got to do with self confidence well know that I don’t
self confidence well know that I don’t
self confidence well know that I don’t tell you my story as a means of a pity
tell you my story as a means of a pity
tell you my story as a means of a pity party I don’t need that
party I don’t need that
party I don’t need that it’s simply my story what I want to
it’s simply my story what I want to
it’s simply my story what I want to share with you is how I developed
share with you is how I developed
share with you is how I developed self-confidence in the midst of my life
self-confidence in the midst of my life
self-confidence in the midst of my life and through my turmoil was in middle
and through my turmoil was in middle
and through my turmoil was in middle school when I was the most insecure of
school when I was the most insecure of
school when I was the most insecure of myself and just my image consumed me I
myself and just my image consumed me I
myself and just my image consumed me I was obsessed with my popularity and
was obsessed with my popularity and
was obsessed with my popularity and likeability it was determined to build
likeability it was determined to build
likeability it was determined to build up my confidence off of what other
up my confidence off of what other
up my confidence off of what other people thought of me the irony in it was
people thought of me the irony in it was
people thought of me the irony in it was was that it was completely false but
was that it was completely false but
was that it was completely false but when I was 14 I had an epiphany of the
when I was 14 I had an epiphany of the
when I was 14 I had an epiphany of the obstacle I had created in front of me
obstacle I had created in front of me
obstacle I had created in front of me and how I could change it and that’s
and how I could change it and that’s
and how I could change it and that’s what I want to share with you today the
what I want to share with you today the
what I want to share with you today the five steps I took to develop
five steps I took to develop
five steps I took to develop self-confidence so what does it look
self-confidence so what does it look
self-confidence so what does it look like to be confident well first
like to be confident well first
like to be confident well first find yourself and this looks differently
find yourself and this looks differently
find yourself and this looks differently for a lot of different people but it’s a
for a lot of different people but it’s a
for a lot of different people but it’s a critical aspect in developing any sort
critical aspect in developing any sort
critical aspect in developing any sort of confidence for yourself after all how
of confidence for yourself after all how
of confidence for yourself after all how can you play place confidence in you if
can you play place confidence in you if
can you play place confidence in you if you don’t know who you truly are so
you don’t know who you truly are so
you don’t know who you truly are so spend time alone and thought figure out
spend time alone and thought figure out
spend time alone and thought figure out what it is that you like and dislike
what it is that you like and dislike
what it is that you like and dislike what is it that you’re passionate about
what is it that you’re passionate about
what is it that you’re passionate about what do you want to do and discover your
what do you want to do and discover your
what do you want to do and discover your talents and yes you have talents don’t
talents and yes you have talents don’t
talents and yes you have talents don’t say that you don’t you simply need to
say that you don’t you simply need to
say that you don’t you simply need to find them if you haven’t done that
find them if you haven’t done that
find them if you haven’t done that already and this looks differently for
already and this looks differently for
already and this looks differently for different people for myself I found my
different people for myself I found my
different people for myself I found my talents in the midst of our schools
talents in the midst of our schools
talents in the midst of our schools musical he was the Wizard of Oz I was
musical he was the Wizard of Oz I was
musical he was the Wizard of Oz I was super hesitant of trying out for it at
super hesitant of trying out for it at
super hesitant of trying out for it at first but I ended up auditioning and
first but I ended up auditioning and
first but I ended up auditioning and landed one of the lead roles as ten men
landed one of the lead roles as ten men
landed one of the lead roles as ten men then I went and sang and danced on a
then I went and sang and danced on a
then I went and sang and danced on a stage and he was super manly but the
stage and he was super manly but the
stage and he was super manly but the thing that it did was it planted a seed
thing that it did was it planted a seed
thing that it did was it planted a seed of confidence in me that showed me that
of confidence in me that showed me that
of confidence in me that showed me that I was good at something
I was good at something
I was good at something and that I could do something you need
and that I could do something you need
and that I could do something you need to find yourself as well because you
to find yourself as well because you
to find yourself as well because you need to stay true to yourself figure out
need to stay true to yourself figure out
need to stay true to yourself figure out what it is that you will accept as right
what it is that you will accept as right
what it is that you will accept as right and wrong and establish the barriers
and wrong and establish the barriers
and wrong and establish the barriers around you of what you will do and what
around you of what you will do and what
around you of what you will do and what you won’t do I remember sneaking out to
you won’t do I remember sneaking out to
you won’t do I remember sneaking out to a party when I was younger and this is
a party when I was younger and this is
a party when I was younger and this is one of those parties that you don’t
one of those parties that you don’t
one of those parties that you don’t really want your parents to find out hi
really want your parents to find out hi
really want your parents to find out hi mom and because there is a ton of drugs
mom and because there is a ton of drugs
mom and because there is a ton of drugs and alcohol there that I really could
and alcohol there that I really could
and alcohol there that I really could have gotten involved with and I didn’t
have gotten involved with and I didn’t
have gotten involved with and I didn’t possess the self confidence that I
possess the self confidence that I
possess the self confidence that I needed to establish the barriers around
needed to establish the barriers around
needed to establish the barriers around me of what I would and wouldn’t do and
me of what I would and wouldn’t do and
me of what I would and wouldn’t do and now I never got involved with anything
now I never got involved with anything
now I never got involved with anything there well I actually got busted for it
there well I actually got busted for it
there well I actually got busted for it at like 11 o’clock at night walking down
at like 11 o’clock at night walking down
at like 11 o’clock at night walking down the street with my mom pulling over in a
the street with my mom pulling over in a
the street with my mom pulling over in a minivan and laying down on the whore and
minivan and laying down on the whore and
minivan and laying down on the whore and in front of me and a big group people
in front of me and a big group people
in front of me and a big group people and he was super embarrassing but the
and he was super embarrassing but the
and he was super embarrassing but the point is that you need to stay true to
point is that you need to stay true to
point is that you need to stay true to yourself so above all this though
yourself so above all this though
yourself so above all this though develop a self-respect for you and don’t
develop a self-respect for you and don’t
develop a self-respect for you and don’t be so harsh on yourself of the
be so harsh on yourself of the
be so harsh on yourself of the expectations that you lie out in front
expectations that you lie out in front
expectations that you lie out in front of you so what next
of you so what next
of you so what next well don’t care what other people think
well don’t care what other people think
well don’t care what other people think of you this is by far one of the hardest
of you this is by far one of the hardest
of you this is by far one of the hardest aspects to actually fulfill
aspects to actually fulfill
aspects to actually fulfill and now note that that’s not this isn’t
and now note that that’s not this isn’t
and now note that that’s not this isn’t apathy this isn’t the same as not having
apathy this isn’t the same as not having
apathy this isn’t the same as not having any regards for anyone’s thoughts I’m
any regards for anyone’s thoughts I’m
any regards for anyone’s thoughts I’m also not saying that you should go out
also not saying that you should go out
also not saying that you should go out in public without any clothes on because
in public without any clothes on because
in public without any clothes on because you really don’t care what people think
you really don’t care what people think
you really don’t care what people think of you but because there’s always a
of you but because there’s always a
of you but because there’s always a balance and a certain quality as to how
balance and a certain quality as to how
balance and a certain quality as to how much we think or care about what other
much we think or care about what other
much we think or care about what other people think of us but there is a
people think of us but there is a
people think of us but there is a balance so imagine if you’re running a
balance so imagine if you’re running a
balance so imagine if you’re running a race around a track
race around a track
race around a track would you stop in the middle of that
would you stop in the middle of that
would you stop in the middle of that track and in the middle of the race
track and in the middle of the race
track and in the middle of the race because of what some person said about
because of what some person said about
because of what some person said about you on the sidelines no because they’re
you on the sidelines no because they’re
you on the sidelines no because they’re not running your race the funny thing is
not running your race the funny thing is
not running your race the funny thing is we often think more about what other
we often think more about what other
we often think more about what other people are thinking of us or what we
people are thinking of us or what we
people are thinking of us or what we perceive others to think of us than what
perceive others to think of us than what
perceive others to think of us than what other people are actually thinking of us
other people are actually thinking of us
other people are actually thinking of us you need to know as well that your story
you need to know as well that your story
you need to know as well that your story doesn’t define you my story doesn’t
doesn’t define you my story doesn’t
doesn’t define you my story doesn’t define me my past is my past but it does
define me my past is my past but it does
define me my past is my past but it does not determine my future you guys ever
not determine my future you guys ever
not determine my future you guys ever heard of these so called beauty
heard of these so called beauty
heard of these so called beauty magazines like L or Men’s Fitness
magazines like L or Men’s Fitness
magazines like L or Men’s Fitness women’s world women’s fitness
women’s world women’s fitness
women’s world women’s fitness Cosmopolitan the funny thing about these
Cosmopolitan the funny thing about these
Cosmopolitan the funny thing about these magazines is that they’re much less
magazines is that they’re much less
magazines is that they’re much less beauty magazines and a lot more like
beauty magazines and a lot more like
beauty magazines and a lot more like product catalogs so if you take a look
product catalogs so if you take a look
product catalogs so if you take a look at this picture this is an Elle magazine
at this picture this is an Elle magazine
at this picture this is an Elle magazine where the top is the regular magazine
where the top is the regular magazine
where the top is the regular magazine and the bottom is the same magazine with
and the bottom is the same magazine with
and the bottom is the same magazine with all the ads taken out of it this is
all the ads taken out of it this is
all the ads taken out of it this is another picture with a Cosmopolitan
another picture with a Cosmopolitan
another picture with a Cosmopolitan magazine and what these magazines do is
magazine and what these magazines do is
magazine and what these magazines do is they intentionally get you to feel worse
they intentionally get you to feel worse
they intentionally get you to feel worse about yourself so that you will buy
about yourself so that you will buy
about yourself so that you will buy their products and it’s how they make
their products and it’s how they make
their products and it’s how they make their money the damaging aspect of this
their money the damaging aspect of this
their money the damaging aspect of this is that these magazines are chock full
is that these magazines are chock full
is that these magazines are chock full of images with unrealistic body sizes
of images with unrealistic body sizes
of images with unrealistic body sizes their models are doused with
their models are doused with
their models are doused with professional makeup and all their
professional makeup and all their
professional makeup and all their pictures are photoshopped there’s even
pictures are photoshopped there’s even
pictures are photoshopped there’s even been some magazines to have been
been some magazines to have been
been some magazines to have been admitting to using computer-generated
admitting to using computer-generated
admitting to using computer-generated images now why would that be a standard
images now why would that be a standard
images now why would that be a standard we want to compare ourselves to
we want to compare ourselves to
we want to compare ourselves to now can I be real with you guys for a
now can I be real with you guys for a
now can I be real with you guys for a sec I just like talk real you’re
sec I just like talk real you’re
sec I just like talk real you’re beautiful if I mean that I don’t mean
beautiful if I mean that I don’t mean
beautiful if I mean that I don’t mean that in the cheesy motivational speaker
that in the cheesy motivational speaker
that in the cheesy motivational speaker way where I’m up here it’s like oh
way where I’m up here it’s like oh
way where I’m up here it’s like oh you’re beautiful you need to feel better
you’re beautiful you need to feel better
you’re beautiful you need to feel better about yourself but you are beautiful
about yourself but you are beautiful
about yourself but you are beautiful whether you feel it or not and the truth
whether you feel it or not and the truth
whether you feel it or not and the truth is that you’re not beautiful in the eyes
is that you’re not beautiful in the eyes
is that you’re not beautiful in the eyes of society and barely anyone is because
of society and barely anyone is because
of society and barely anyone is because society standards are unrealistic and
society standards are unrealistic and
society standards are unrealistic and often unattainable see society judges
often unattainable see society judges
often unattainable see society judges beauty on the shallowest aspect of what
beauty on the shallowest aspect of what
beauty on the shallowest aspect of what beauty encompasses where it almost
beauty encompasses where it almost
beauty encompasses where it almost solely focuses on good looks which in
solely focuses on good looks which in
solely focuses on good looks which in itself is so unvalued because if you
itself is so unvalued because if you
itself is so unvalued because if you think about it looks and appearances are
think about it looks and appearances are
think about it looks and appearances are fading features for all us humans as we
fading features for all us humans as we
fading features for all us humans as we age and you need to know that your
age and you need to know that your
age and you need to know that your beauty goes beyond the roundness of your
beauty goes beyond the roundness of your
beauty goes beyond the roundness of your face or the clearness of your skin or
face or the clearness of your skin or
face or the clearness of your skin or your body size or the muscles that you
your body size or the muscles that you
your body size or the muscles that you have it simply makes up the shallowest
have it simply makes up the shallowest
have it simply makes up the shallowest aspect of your beauty so what next well
aspect of your beauty so what next well
aspect of your beauty so what next well surround yourself with encouragement you
surround yourself with encouragement you
surround yourself with encouragement you need to know that everything you
need to know that everything you
need to know that everything you surround yourself with is a possible
surround yourself with is a possible
surround yourself with is a possible influence to you everything so assess
influence to you everything so assess
influence to you everything so assess your friends your co-workers your
your friends your co-workers your
your friends your co-workers your boyfriend your girlfriend your spouse
boyfriend your girlfriend your spouse
boyfriend your girlfriend your spouse are the people around you creating an
are the people around you creating an
are the people around you creating an environment where you can feel confident
environment where you can feel confident
environment where you can feel confident and good about yourself do the people
and good about yourself do the people
and good about yourself do the people around you speak positivity into your
around you speak positivity into your
around you speak positivity into your life and should you be associating
life and should you be associating
life and should you be associating yourself with those people no matter how
yourself with those people no matter how
yourself with those people no matter how you answered any of those difficult
you answered any of those difficult
you answered any of those difficult questions know this that whoever you
questions know this that whoever you
questions know this that whoever you surround yourself with is who you will
surround yourself with is who you will
surround yourself with is who you will become and you know I had to ask these
become and you know I had to ask these
become and you know I had to ask these same questions when I was developing
same questions when I was developing
same questions when I was developing self-confidence these same difficult
self-confidence these same difficult
self-confidence these same difficult questions about the friends that I had
questions about the friends that I had
questions about the friends that I had and it’s difficult but there is power in
and it’s difficult but there is power in
and it’s difficult but there is power in the tongue to speak life or to speak
the tongue to speak life or to speak
the tongue to speak life or to speak death but it’s your choice of what you
death but it’s your choice of what you
death but it’s your choice of what you listen to
listen to
listen to so next thing self assess your attitude
so next thing self assess your attitude
so next thing self assess your attitude you will always be your greatest
you will always be your greatest
you will always be your greatest obstacle you always will you are the
obstacle you always will you are the
obstacle you always will you are the captain of your ship and you
captain of your ship and you
captain of your ship and you Herman which direction your life is
Herman which direction your life is
Herman which direction your life is headed and I think back of who I was in
headed and I think back of who I was in
headed and I think back of who I was in what I did and the opportunities that I
what I did and the opportunities that I
what I did and the opportunities that I threw out the window while I was
threw out the window while I was
threw out the window while I was insecure and the obstacles that I
insecure and the obstacles that I
insecure and the obstacles that I willingly placed in front of me and I
willingly placed in front of me and I
willingly placed in front of me and I have to assess my attitude and the
have to assess my attitude and the
have to assess my attitude and the regrets that I had and had to pull off
regrets that I had and had to pull off
regrets that I had and had to pull off the chains that I had hanging around my
the chains that I had hanging around my
the chains that I had hanging around my neck so evaluate yourself what negative
neck so evaluate yourself what negative
neck so evaluate yourself what negative thoughts do you have of yourself and
thoughts do you have of yourself and
thoughts do you have of yourself and especially of others
especially of others
especially of others see this comes in many different ways
see this comes in many different ways
see this comes in many different ways but often it can come in the form of
but often it can come in the form of
but often it can come in the form of unforgiveness and the funny thing about
unforgiveness and the funny thing about
unforgiveness and the funny thing about unforgiveness is this your unforgiveness
unforgiveness is this your unforgiveness
unforgiveness is this your unforgiveness will burden you more than it burdens the
will burden you more than it burdens the
will burden you more than it burdens the person who you’re not willing to forgive
person who you’re not willing to forgive
person who you’re not willing to forgive so what change do you have tats around
so what change do you have tats around
so what change do you have tats around your ankles that you’re not willing to
your ankles that you’re not willing to
your ankles that you’re not willing to let go of you also need to believe in
let go of you also need to believe in
let go of you also need to believe in yourself wait hold on let me say it
yourself wait hold on let me say it
yourself wait hold on let me say it again you need to believe in yourself
again you need to believe in yourself
again you need to believe in yourself you have the power to do whatever it is
you have the power to do whatever it is
you have the power to do whatever it is that you set your mind to and it is only
that you set your mind to and it is only
that you set your mind to and it is only you who can determine the path that your
you who can determine the path that your
you who can determine the path that your life will take and finally ask yourself
life will take and finally ask yourself
life will take and finally ask yourself this question are you creating an
this question are you creating an
this question are you creating an environment where your friends can feel
environment where your friends can feel
environment where your friends can feel confident and good about themselves are
confident and good about themselves are
confident and good about themselves are you speaking positivity in life into
you speaking positivity in life into
you speaking positivity in life into other people’s lives after all
other people’s lives after all
other people’s lives after all encouragement breeds encouragement again
encouragement breeds encouragement again
encouragement breeds encouragement again there is power in the tongue to speak
there is power in the tongue to speak
there is power in the tongue to speak life or to speak death what do you
life or to speak death what do you
life or to speak death what do you choose to speak in the last point let’s
choose to speak in the last point let’s
choose to speak in the last point let’s be humble and this is a step which is to
be humble and this is a step which is to
be humble and this is a step which is to not be forgotten it’s also the step
not be forgotten it’s also the step
not be forgotten it’s also the step which is extremely difficult to maintain
which is extremely difficult to maintain
which is extremely difficult to maintain something that I struggle with all the
something that I struggle with all the
something that I struggle with all the time where I have to continually strive
time where I have to continually strive
time where I have to continually strive to humble myself but what it really
to humble myself but what it really
to humble myself but what it really comes down to is this self-confidence
comes down to is this self-confidence
comes down to is this self-confidence that is rooted in other people’s
that is rooted in other people’s
that is rooted in other people’s opinions and beliefs it’s much less self
opinions and beliefs it’s much less self
opinions and beliefs it’s much less self confidence and more insecurity and
confidence and more insecurity and
confidence and more insecurity and you’re right back to where you started
you’re right back to where you started
you’re right back to where you started and believe me I know pride always comes
and believe me I know pride always comes
and believe me I know pride always comes before a fall so what’s the point why
before a fall so what’s the point why
before a fall so what’s the point why why try and follow these five steps
why try and follow these five steps
why try and follow these five steps well what I found is that
well what I found is that
well what I found is that self-confidence is the single most
self-confidence is the single most
self-confidence is the single most impactful quality that can open up more
impactful quality that can open up more
impactful quality that can open up more opportunities more happiness and more
opportunities more happiness and more
opportunities more happiness and more successes than any other personality
successes than any other personality
successes than any other personality aspect in life in the way that I found
aspect in life in the way that I found
aspect in life in the way that I found self-confidence for myself was by
self-confidence for myself was by
self-confidence for myself was by finding myself I stopped caring what
finding myself I stopped caring what
finding myself I stopped caring what other people thought of me I surrounded
other people thought of me I surrounded
other people thought of me I surrounded myself with encouragement self assess my
myself with encouragement self assess my
myself with encouragement self assess my attitude and continually strive to be
attitude and continually strive to be
attitude and continually strive to be humble but if there’s anything that I
humble but if there’s anything that I
humble but if there’s anything that I want you to take away from this today
want you to take away from this today
want you to take away from this today it’s this the crippling pressures that
it’s this the crippling pressures that
it’s this the crippling pressures that we face in our society on a daily basis
we face in our society on a daily basis
we face in our society on a daily basis leave us in a state of stress and
leave us in a state of stress and
leave us in a state of stress and unacceptance we can no longer appreciate
unacceptance we can no longer appreciate
unacceptance we can no longer appreciate see or believe the capability in
see or believe the capability in
see or believe the capability in ourselves there’s no magic button to
ourselves there’s no magic button to
ourselves there’s no magic button to confidence described here can
confidence described here can
confidence described here can undoubtedly bring you self-confidence
undoubtedly bring you self-confidence
undoubtedly bring you self-confidence but they can sure help if you choose to
but they can sure help if you choose to
but they can sure help if you choose to utilize them now imagine this you’re
utilize them now imagine this you’re
utilize them now imagine this you’re ready you’re prepared you are skilled
ready you’re prepared you are skilled
ready you’re prepared you are skilled and you have endurance your greatest
and you have endurance your greatest
and you have endurance your greatest fears are behind you and your challenges
fears are behind you and your challenges
fears are behind you and your challenges ahead are ambitious there’s one thing
ahead are ambitious there’s one thing
ahead are ambitious there’s one thing that’s different you are no longer your
that’s different you are no longer your
that’s different you are no longer your greatest obstacle but rather your
greatest obstacle but rather your
greatest obstacle but rather your greatest asset now go make that a
greatest asset now go make that a
greatest asset now go make that a reality thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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