do you possess a high school diploma or GED yes a GED are you at least 18 years
GED yes a GED are you at least 18 years
GED yes a GED are you at least 18 years old I am yes will you pass a drug test
old I am yes will you pass a drug test
old I am yes will you pass a drug test yes will you pass a criminal background
yes will you pass a criminal background
yes will you pass a criminal background check no okay well thank you so much for
check no okay well thank you so much for
check no okay well thank you so much for your time right you have a good day it’s
your time right you have a good day it’s
your time right you have a good day it’s you
looking at how big and massive the city
looking at how big and massive the city is and it’s just easy to get intimidated
is and it’s just easy to get intimidated
is and it’s just easy to get intimidated realizing that you’re only one among
realizing that you’re only one among
realizing that you’re only one among almost something a few million people in
almost something a few million people in
almost something a few million people in one city that’s trying to get the same
one city that’s trying to get the same
one city that’s trying to get the same thing that you’re trying to get a job
thing that you’re trying to get a job
thing that you’re trying to get a job and some type of financial stability
and some type of financial stability
and some type of financial stability only difference they don’t have a record
only difference they don’t have a record
only difference they don’t have a record and I do so here everything is requires
and I do so here everything is requires
and I do so here everything is requires money it requires that you have you
money it requires that you have you
money it requires that you have you bring something to the table and I have
bring something to the table and I have
bring something to the table and I have nothing to bring to the table right now
nothing to bring to the table right now
nothing to bring to the table right now so I fit in it somewhere but it’s just a
so I fit in it somewhere but it’s just a
so I fit in it somewhere but it’s just a matter of where
so a few years ago I got a call to be
so a few years ago I got a call to be the director of photography on a
the director of photography on a
the director of photography on a documentary titled land of the free and
documentary titled land of the free and
documentary titled land of the free and in that I was tasked with following a
in that I was tasked with following a
in that I was tasked with following a man named Brian the gentleman you saw on
man named Brian the gentleman you saw on
man named Brian the gentleman you saw on the clip in 1989 Brian as a teenager in
the clip in 1989 Brian as a teenager in
the clip in 1989 Brian as a teenager in LA was arrested convicted and sentenced
LA was arrested convicted and sentenced
LA was arrested convicted and sentenced to live most of his life in prison and
to live most of his life in prison and
to live most of his life in prison and after 24 years
after 24 years
after 24 years Brian was released Brian had every
Brian was released Brian had every
Brian was released Brian had every reason not to share his story with us he
reason not to share his story with us he
reason not to share his story with us he was being released at the bottom of an
was being released at the bottom of an
was being released at the bottom of an uphill battle against labels as being a
uphill battle against labels as being a
uphill battle against labels as being a castaway as being someone who missed
castaway as being someone who missed
castaway as being someone who missed that adolescent ship of potential and
that adolescent ship of potential and
that adolescent ship of potential and for money with a criminal record he had
for money with a criminal record he had
for money with a criminal record he had a scarlet letter on his back deeming him
a scarlet letter on his back deeming him
a scarlet letter on his back deeming him the embodiment of qualities that we
the embodiment of qualities that we
the embodiment of qualities that we condemned so as filmmakers we had a goal
condemned so as filmmakers we had a goal
condemned so as filmmakers we had a goal of making a personal portrait and in
of making a personal portrait and in
of making a personal portrait and in order to achieve that goal we had to
order to achieve that goal we had to
order to achieve that goal we had to answer a very specific question how do
answer a very specific question how do
answer a very specific question how do you tell a story about someone that
you tell a story about someone that
you tell a story about someone that society fears most so the first few
society fears most so the first few
society fears most so the first few weeks we started shooting and captured a
weeks we started shooting and captured a
weeks we started shooting and captured a lot of moments of someone who seemed to
lot of moments of someone who seemed to
lot of moments of someone who seemed to be stepping out of a time capsule a lot
be stepping out of a time capsule a lot
be stepping out of a time capsule a lot has changed in the world since 1989
has changed in the world since 1989
has changed in the world since 1989 while locked away the internet was
while locked away the internet was
while locked away the internet was invented cell phones were popularized
invented cell phones were popularized
invented cell phones were popularized 911 took place amongst other globe
911 took place amongst other globe
911 took place amongst other globe altering events Brian was stepping out
altering events Brian was stepping out
altering events Brian was stepping out of the gates and had to completely
of the gates and had to completely
of the gates and had to completely recalibrate to a modern world of new
recalibrate to a modern world of new
recalibrate to a modern world of new cars new technology new societal norms
cars new technology new societal norms
cars new technology new societal norms we filmed him taking his first sip of a
we filmed him taking his first sip of a
we filmed him taking his first sip of a fresh cup of coffee learning to use a
fresh cup of coffee learning to use a
fresh cup of coffee learning to use a debit card at a 7-eleven going to his
debit card at a 7-eleven going to his
debit card at a 7-eleven going to his first job interview asking someone at an
first job interview asking someone at an
first job interview asking someone at an internet cafe to describe to him how
internet cafe to describe to him how
internet cafe to describe to him how email works but in these seemingly
email works but in these seemingly
email works but in these seemingly endless moments of firsts Brian’s story
endless moments of firsts Brian’s story
endless moments of firsts Brian’s story was soon eclipsed by something that was
was soon eclipsed by something that was
was soon eclipsed by something that was much deeper a more universal story more
much deeper a more universal story more
much deeper a more universal story more full story his quest for love
full story his quest for love
full story his quest for love partnership and affection if you could
partnership and affection if you could
partnership and affection if you could dim the lights
I’m longing for somebody just to not
I’m longing for somebody just to not only be intimate with but also would be
only be intimate with but also would be
only be intimate with but also would be willing to allow me to express how
willing to allow me to express how
willing to allow me to express how really feel inside far as the pain and
really feel inside far as the pain and
really feel inside far as the pain and stuff like that you’re sitting with the
stuff like that you’re sitting with the
stuff like that you’re sitting with the love of your life and you’re around a
love of your life and you’re around a
love of your life and you’re around a warm fire do you feel like it’s okay to
warm fire do you feel like it’s okay to
warm fire do you feel like it’s okay to be vulnerable I could just say this is
be vulnerable I could just say this is
be vulnerable I could just say this is how I’m feeling sweetheart and you know
how I’m feeling sweetheart and you know
how I’m feeling sweetheart and you know that she’s gonna love you regardless of
that she’s gonna love you regardless of
that she’s gonna love you regardless of what it is she gonna put her arms around
what it is she gonna put her arms around
what it is she gonna put her arms around you she’s gonna comfort you and she’s
you she’s gonna comfort you and she’s
you she’s gonna comfort you and she’s gonna let you shed your tears and she’s
gonna let you shed your tears and she’s
gonna let you shed your tears and she’s gonna let you just be crying for that
gonna let you just be crying for that
gonna let you just be crying for that moment you know and I don’t have that
moment you know and I don’t have that
moment you know and I don’t have that so maybe I’m looking for a mom I don’t
so maybe I’m looking for a mom I don’t
so maybe I’m looking for a mom I don’t know
maybe just love
maybe just love [Music]
[Music]
[Music] now allowing a camera to linger around
now allowing a camera to linger around
now allowing a camera to linger around you on the daily basis while you try and
you on the daily basis while you try and
you on the daily basis while you try and live your life is an easier thing said
live your life is an easier thing said
live your life is an easier thing said than done
than done
than done imagine a 6-foot tall blonde woman
imagine a 6-foot tall blonde woman
imagine a 6-foot tall blonde woman carrying a 20-pound camera dancing
carrying a 20-pound camera dancing
carrying a 20-pound camera dancing around your space ten feet three feet
around your space ten feet three feet
around your space ten feet three feet you’re doing great
you’re doing great
you’re doing great I’m not here live your life it’s pretty
I’m not here live your life it’s pretty
I’m not here live your life it’s pretty awkward right so one thing that requires
awkward right so one thing that requires
awkward right so one thing that requires is patience his part but another thing
is patience his part but another thing
is patience his part but another thing that’s required is trust trust with a
that’s required is trust trust with a
that’s required is trust trust with a capital T trust if I fall will you stand
capital T trust if I fall will you stand
capital T trust if I fall will you stand back will you grab my hand if I take a
back will you grab my hand if I take a
back will you grab my hand if I take a shaky path are you going to show me the
shaky path are you going to show me the
shaky path are you going to show me the way to a smoother Road is there a way as
way to a smoother Road is there a way as
way to a smoother Road is there a way as a documentarian to do both to have
a documentarian to do both to have
a documentarian to do both to have someone’s back and not sacrifice the
someone’s back and not sacrifice the
someone’s back and not sacrifice the authenticity of their story in their
authenticity of their story in their
authenticity of their story in their experience as a cinematographer my job
experience as a cinematographer my job
experience as a cinematographer my job is to be technically proficient but
is to be technically proficient but
is to be technically proficient but there’s an unspoken responsibility to
there’s an unspoken responsibility to
there’s an unspoken responsibility to maintain the relationships around you to
maintain the relationships around you to
maintain the relationships around you to memorize body language try and predict
memorize body language try and predict
memorize body language try and predict the direction of a conversation make
the direction of a conversation make
the direction of a conversation make snap decisions of what kind of narrative
snap decisions of what kind of narrative
snap decisions of what kind of narrative is really happening in a room and what
is really happening in a room and what
is really happening in a room and what is the best placement of my body in the
is the best placement of my body in the
is the best placement of my body in the camera that portrays most honestly the
camera that portrays most honestly the
camera that portrays most honestly the perspective and experience of the
perspective and experience of the
perspective and experience of the character if I shoot a wide shot am I
character if I shoot a wide shot am I
character if I shoot a wide shot am I going to make someone look lonely in a
going to make someone look lonely in a
going to make someone look lonely in a room if I shoot a close-up am i forcing
room if I shoot a close-up am i forcing
room if I shoot a close-up am i forcing a sense of intimacy that a moment
a sense of intimacy that a moment
a sense of intimacy that a moment doesn’t call for am i benefiting the
doesn’t call for am i benefiting the
doesn’t call for am i benefiting the story by being persistent or am i
story by being persistent or am i
story by being persistent or am i damaging my relationships by being
damaging my relationships by being
damaging my relationships by being insensitive one day I was driving in the
insensitive one day I was driving in the
insensitive one day I was driving in the car with my director kamila Majid and
car with my director kamila Majid and
car with my director kamila Majid and creative producer Steen efficie
creative producer Steen efficie
creative producer Steen efficie Kristensen and we were going to pick up
Kristensen and we were going to pick up
Kristensen and we were going to pick up Brian at the halfway house where he was
Brian at the halfway house where he was
Brian at the halfway house where he was living for most people going through
living for most people going through
living for most people going through reentry are required to stay for a few
reentry are required to stay for a few
reentry are required to stay for a few weeks
weeks
weeks and Brian hopped in the front seat I had
and Brian hopped in the front seat I had
and Brian hopped in the front seat I had the camera on my shoulder I was ready to
the camera on my shoulder I was ready to
the camera on my shoulder I was ready to roll ready to watch a scene unfold in
roll ready to watch a scene unfold in
roll ready to watch a scene unfold in front of us but he looked over at me and
front of us but he looked over at me and
front of us but he looked over at me and she gave me the signal set the camera
she gave me the signal set the camera
she gave me the signal set the camera side and so against all of my burning
side and so against all of my burning
side and so against all of my burning creative instincts I took off the
creative instincts I took off the
creative instincts I took off the headphones and set the camera down and
headphones and set the camera down and
headphones and set the camera down and in that moment there was a new kind of
in that moment there was a new kind of
in that moment there was a new kind of interaction an unfiltered interaction
interaction an unfiltered interaction
interaction an unfiltered interaction without the camera as the middleman we
without the camera as the middleman we
without the camera as the middleman we shared stories on current events asked
shared stories on current events asked
shared stories on current events asked Brian about experiences that he was
Brian about experiences that he was
Brian about experiences that he was having throughout the week we joked
having throughout the week we joked
having throughout the week we joked around you played the game of where do
around you played the game of where do
around you played the game of where do you guys feel like eating I don’t know
you guys feel like eating I don’t know
you guys feel like eating I don’t know doesn’t matter to me what do you feel
doesn’t matter to me what do you feel
doesn’t matter to me what do you feel like anything whatever we as filmmakers
like anything whatever we as filmmakers
like anything whatever we as filmmakers had a responsibility to let our own
had a responsibility to let our own
had a responsibility to let our own walls down tell our own stories share
walls down tell our own stories share
walls down tell our own stories share our own values and in those moments of
our own values and in those moments of
our own values and in those moments of of telling Brian what our efforts were
of telling Brian what our efforts were
of telling Brian what our efforts were about the film being transparent about
about the film being transparent about
about the film being transparent about it we also told him that we cared about
it we also told him that we cared about
it we also told him that we cared about him and that we were there as sounding
him and that we were there as sounding
him and that we were there as sounding boards for him anyone is though it was
boards for him anyone is though it was
boards for him anyone is though it was in those moments that we began to pour
in those moments that we began to pour
in those moments that we began to pour that foundation of trust Brian got his
that foundation of trust Brian got his
that foundation of trust Brian got his first job in a sports bar grill kitchen
first job in a sports bar grill kitchen
first job in a sports bar grill kitchen washing dishes and as I was setting
washing dishes and as I was setting
washing dishes and as I was setting camera and he was scouring cookware I
camera and he was scouring cookware I
camera and he was scouring cookware I started to watch his movements around
started to watch his movements around
started to watch his movements around the kitchen and began to notice rhythms
the kitchen and began to notice rhythms
the kitchen and began to notice rhythms and his mannerisms and tuned into those
and his mannerisms and tuned into those
and his mannerisms and tuned into those subtle nuances and details that we
subtle nuances and details that we
subtle nuances and details that we shared like the way he would have a
shared like the way he would have a
shared like the way he would have a conversation to himself in a room by
conversation to himself in a room by
conversation to himself in a room by himself
himself
himself much like I secretly do the way he would
much like I secretly do the way he would
much like I secretly do the way he would wipe sweat off of his cheek dimpled from
wipe sweat off of his cheek dimpled from
wipe sweat off of his cheek dimpled from acne scars much like mine one time we
acne scars much like mine one time we
acne scars much like mine one time we both had broken fingers for some reason
both had broken fingers for some reason
both had broken fingers for some reason and we swapped and shared our battle
and we swapped and shared our battle
and we swapped and shared our battle stories and so we continued on this
stories and so we continued on this
stories and so we continued on this seesaw of trust and every time
seesaw of trust and every time
seesaw of trust and every time mine would open up we deal a little bit
mine would open up we deal a little bit
mine would open up we deal a little bit deeper and I would see his thoughts and
deeper and I would see his thoughts and
deeper and I would see his thoughts and his desires and I would see myself in
his desires and I would see myself in
his desires and I would see myself in those my own values my own goals my own
those my own values my own goals my own
those my own values my own goals my own search for love and we continued on with
search for love and we continued on with
search for love and we continued on with that dance so in the next few years we
that dance so in the next few years we
that dance so in the next few years we rolled through hundreds of hours and we
rolled through hundreds of hours and we
rolled through hundreds of hours and we were welcomed into the most joyous of
were welcomed into the most joyous of
were welcomed into the most joyous of moments and some of the more
moments and some of the more
moments and some of the more uncomfortable situations like when Brian
uncomfortable situations like when Brian
uncomfortable situations like when Brian a 42 year old adult man asked a woman
a 42 year old adult man asked a woman
a 42 year old adult man asked a woman out on the date for the very first time
out on the date for the very first time
out on the date for the very first time or when he excitedly told us about his
or when he excitedly told us about his
or when he excitedly told us about his first physical intimate experience with
first physical intimate experience with
first physical intimate experience with a woman at a drive-in movie theater the
a woman at a drive-in movie theater the
a woman at a drive-in movie theater the night before or when we sat in a hotel
night before or when we sat in a hotel
night before or when we sat in a hotel room with our hearts pounding waiting
room with our hearts pounding waiting
room with our hearts pounding waiting for him to see his mom for the first
for him to see his mom for the first
for him to see his mom for the first time in 14 years Brian gave us the gift
time in 14 years Brian gave us the gift
time in 14 years Brian gave us the gift of his most vulnerable experiences in
of his most vulnerable experiences in
of his most vulnerable experiences in real time and in turn we got to
real time and in turn we got to
real time and in turn we got to vicariously live his ride now I came to
vicariously live his ride now I came to
vicariously live his ride now I came to talk to you guys today because I had an
talk to you guys today because I had an
talk to you guys today because I had an experience we set out to lens an
experience we set out to lens an
experience we set out to lens an intimate portrait and in order to do
intimate portrait and in order to do
intimate portrait and in order to do that until the story truthfully
that until the story truthfully
that until the story truthfully and break down those walls for our
and break down those walls for our
and break down those walls for our audience we had to as individuals go
audience we had to as individuals go
audience we had to as individuals go through the trials of breaking down
through the trials of breaking down
through the trials of breaking down those walls ourselves and I think this
those walls ourselves and I think this
those walls ourselves and I think this is just a magnified example of something
is just a magnified example of something
is just a magnified example of something that were confronted with on a regular
that were confronted with on a regular
that were confronted with on a regular basis on many different scales every day
basis on many different scales every day
basis on many different scales every day we have opportunities to make judgments
we have opportunities to make judgments
we have opportunities to make judgments or to try and understand each other in
or to try and understand each other in
or to try and understand each other in small talk and comment sections in the
small talk and comment sections in the
small talk and comment sections in the news standing in line with distant
news standing in line with distant
news standing in line with distant family members or with stories that we
family members or with stories that we
family members or with stories that we hear of people in their lives on the
hear of people in their lives on the
hear of people in their lives on the other side of the world
other side of the world
other side of the world I once heard that if you talk to someone
I once heard that if you talk to someone
I once heard that if you talk to someone for five minutes you’ll find out that
for five minutes you’ll find out that
for five minutes you’ll find out that you have something in common if you talk
you have something in common if you talk
you have something in common if you talk to them for another five minutes you’ll
to them for another five minutes you’ll
to them for another five minutes you’ll find out that you have something else in
find out that you have something else in
find out that you have something else in common if you give someone the benefit
common if you give someone the benefit
common if you give someone the benefit of the doubt and make that small effort
of the doubt and make that small effort
of the doubt and make that small effort I guarantee you will find a quality that
I guarantee you will find a quality that
I guarantee you will find a quality that you share
you share
you share and in seeing bits of yourself reflected
and in seeing bits of yourself reflected
and in seeing bits of yourself reflected in others passing judgments not only
in others passing judgments not only
in others passing judgments not only becomes a more difficult thing to do
becomes a more difficult thing to do
becomes a more difficult thing to do those judgments often become totally
those judgments often become totally
those judgments often become totally relevant and I don’t think anyone here
relevant and I don’t think anyone here
relevant and I don’t think anyone here needs a lesson on the importance and the
needs a lesson on the importance and the
needs a lesson on the importance and the rewards of empathy connection and
rewards of empathy connection and
rewards of empathy connection and compassion so I want to thank Brian for
compassion so I want to thank Brian for
compassion so I want to thank Brian for letting us tell his story and thank
letting us tell his story and thank
letting us tell his story and thank everyone involved in the team to making
everyone involved in the team to making
everyone involved in the team to making that small effort together thank you
that small effort together thank you
that small effort together thank you guys
”
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